Wednesday, September 12, 2018


I tried several times yesterday to find the RIGHT image I wanted to post with this blog today.  Yesterday was September 11th.  A day in our calendar, if you are older than 20 -- you probably remember.   

A day that certainly won't be forgotten in my mind.  

I know exactly where I was, I know exactly what I was wearing, I know exactly what I was feeling and where  I  was ---watching the 2nd plane hit the 2nd tower right on national news.  And I thought ...'this is the end'.  

I called Bren - and questioned where he was and what was up.  I remember I wanted to HEAR comfort in his voice and I didn't hear that.  I remember being a bit disappointed in that.  

I was teaching and I had taken my students to the computer lab and the aide in there at the time had a son as part of the armed forces and he was oversees and she was distraught -- believing the END was indeed near.  

  As I walked down the hallway of Central Elementary School, a part of me wondered..."did I miss the rapture?"  I knew where my children where--so the day continued-- as many of us 'shut down'-- we just kept the TV off and tried to continue as normal.    Until school was done and we got home and began to WATCH the TV.....  

It has been 17 years.  As I looked at posts and photos from yesterday there was one thing that totally struck me.   

The day after ... September 12th.  

The Sunday after....  

This event changed history and many many lives.  Prayers were said as many did remember with tears,  as their loved ones met Jesus that day. 

 Even if we didn't have a loved one that was directly involved with any of the crashes .....we felt the pain.  This photo I choose for this blog  hit me--- As in a quiet field an entire plane went down and the people on that plane made decisions that forever changed history as well.  

Being a farm girl. ..this photo hit me.  

But again -- I remember the day after. 

 Did it really change me?

   Did it change us as a Nation?  

I know that there were MANY who GOT themselves into a church that next Sunday.  I know that many questioned and there was a turning within our Nation.  

But where are we now?  

As I was speaking to God this morn, the Holy Spirit brought me to a thought.  

I have grand kids now.  How excited both Bren and I get when SJ does something knew.  Last night, Ava brought such JOY to us when she recalled something that happened over the previous weekend and she wanted to RELIVE the memory.    Memories are so important and they shape us.  

We are trying to teach SJ to blow kisses.  When she copies us and does it - no one can walk away without saying--"she is adorable"....or "that is so sweet".  

So many of us spend SO much time teaching and training our little ones to perform or do something.

With our children ----  WE spent countless hours teaching them to be have empathy and we LOVE it when we see it happening in front of us and we discipline or get frustrated when they don't.  

Many of us are parents and we understand this 'love' for a child.  And yet... Our Heavenly Father has that SAME  love for US.  Each of US. 

   And yet...HIS love for us is still SO much more.  So much more.  

I wondered of how He was sitting and thinking yesterday.  I don't mean to put God in a 'human' box and yet... He does understand us as He became fully human in the form of His Son.   But I got a vision of God...sitting in his big chair watching all the events of yesterday and the remembrances.  And I wondered.... 

I know HOW I feel when I am disappointed because of the actions of a child....
And that  hurt or disappointment can depress me and stop me for a bit until I refocus and bathe it in prayer.  

So...  HOW was God yesterday when He saw and watched SO many repent and come to Jesus those 17 years ago..........and now maybe they have gone back to their own ways and truly  don't even care about ETERNITY anymore???

There is this moment, in the pit of my stomach and in the blink of an eye where I allow myself to just think and it hurts...I hurt that MANY don't even care about eternity.  

I guess that is a growth mindset moment.... I believe my thinking is changing.  

Everyone can post and remind everyone to REMEMBER....but are we living our lives that way each day??   

When Ava's parents and the day care workers were working hard to get her totally potty and poopie trained, I remember the GOOD and successful days.  And when there was an accident  -- it was NO BIG deal.  She was training and learning.  

Now, she is almost three and an accident is not met with much enthusiasm anymore.  WE expect more of her now.  She is older.  

There are FAR too many of us that I believe.....  we should expect MORE of.  

They have seen and tasted what is good and know HOW to get to ETERNITY and yet....they prefer to have 'an accident'.  

My thoughts may be random there -- but that "hurt" or  the watching of another totally turn their eyes away from Jesus -- I think THAT is something that KEEPS me RIGHT next to the Great Father ...

I pray that this blog stirs something in you as well -- and I pray that YOU don't want to forget what Jesus totally did on that Cross.  

We are not promised tomorrow. 
 Our Savior is the only one who truly sacrificed everything.  
Praise God.  

Lord, a simple prayer -- "if my people will humbly pray"...God, for the ones that will read this today - may we all check our hearts and remember WHAT you did on that Cross.  May we take communion with You today and recall our own mortality and know that we know...our names are IN  Your Lamb's Book of Life.  IJN.  Amen. 

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Marriage is HARD...BOLD prayers ...#40 .BUT God WINS!

This is going to be a LONG post.  It just is.  It has been WELL over 40 days, but this concentrated effort of 40 prayers for marriages has come to an end.   And I may be sharing a little too much ...but tonight I am being raw and real.  

1.  I believe that if you are just finding these blogged prayers -- you can start again from Day #1 and begin to fight for your marriage using these blogs as a guide for a prayer focus.    How do I know this?   Cause when I was in a VERY private and yet CRUCIAL part of our marriage -- I sought out prayers on the internet and blogs written by women WHO had successfully navigated an earthquake and their marriage was spared.    So - if you are desperate and WANT your marriage - you will seek these prayers again or other ones. 

2.  In praying and writing these posts, the  past months have  being focused on some specific couples......  I have seen some small victories, I have seen some BIG victories, but I have also see some real sadness and loss as well as  hurt come forth that could literally DEFEAT me--  as it has defeated them.  But I continue to believe what God says.   I have SEEN too too much GOOD from GOD and I know that I know -- HE is not the author of this turmoil, but HE is the answer.  

3.  I have had the privilege of being contacted by several new women and people that WANT their marriage and are willing to do some major changing and work to allow GOD to fix and heal.  But the bottom line with many of those situations is that the person SEEKING the help has realized that they can't change the other one...they can only change THEMSELVES.  

4.  Throughout this series, I have relied on  some past posts and the Holy Spirit to guide me and help me write.  I have said it many times before -- I don't want my time wasted and therefore, if I am going to place something out for the whole world to read and see....then, my should be godly and written through HIM.   Therefore, I believe that if you are taking the time to read these, I don't want your time wasted either.  

5.  In the time I have been writing these prayers and posts, I have finished the "Adamant" book written by Lisa Bevere and started Beth Moore's "The Quest".  Both excellent mind blowing reads and they both challenged me.  I am still doing Beth's as I continue on this quest and seek a closer relationship with my Lord.  I have to keep my hands and eyes in a current bible study.  That is how I stay tuned in and plugged in.  I also use the YouVersion bible app - but right now -- I am into paper and pencil!!   

6.   These blogged prayers and posts have had their share of grief as well..... often the ENEMY did not want what was posted to be heard.  Therefore, there were new attacks and stuff.  However, I continue to move forward and believe that NO matter what...GOD will win.  Throughout this, God has reminded me often of the victory HE gave us within our own marriage and how I fought for my husband through prayer.   The move The WAR ROOM is really a movie that we could have stared in or we could have played each part.    I was reminded of that movie, this past Labor Day Weekend.  As back  in 2015 and I literally soaked my t-shirt with tears as I sat with my man to my right,  and my children to my left,  and watched a miracle occur on the screen.  That was our story.  And as I sat there in that movie theater -- crying so hard I couldn't breath -- I praised and thanked God.  

** THAT was God's plan see us restored.  To see my children fall back in love with their dad.  To see my children grow to love and respect their dad.  To see my husband own his own mistakes but not allow the enemy to shame him to his grave, but to see my husband help others now with is own experience and story.  God restored our marriage...HE did it...but we cooperated.  We submitted.  We humbled ourselves and  believed what God's Word covers a multitude of sins.  God forgave me for committing adultery on Him!  But anyway, now I pray for our marriage, my husband, and our children as well as others  -- as we have  new struggles as we are in a new season in our lives.  

7.  Prayers will continue for the specific couples that were the inspiration at various times and for the one in particular that is very dear and CLOSE to us.... we are standing on faith that before the year is over -- the one wanting the marriage will see a repentant believer that wants Jesus more than her own feelings and wants.  As then,  truly, only then, can she  be fully happy, satisfied, and  she'll 
see what God intended for marriage and their family.  

8.  And with that ....  this song....  it speaks VOLUMES!  8 is the new number for Brendan and I.  WE are eight years OUT from an earthquake.  Eight means renewal.  We are in a very new season and with that, God has reminded me to pray as diligently as I did some eight years ago.  And I will continue.  I pray the Lord has me write a few more blogs.  Maybe not...  

We are in a new season.  Our word this year was "intentional".  So we have made some real changes and done somethings intentionally to make sure that when we do see our Savior, He will say, "well done".   We also WANT each and every reward the Lord has prepared for us!  

I will write again, when the Holy Spirit speaks, and as I said, I will continue to pray and believe that God wins.  

The prayer for this eve ...  read the the lyrics for this song.  Do you believe it?  Do you believe what God says about you?  If so...then whether it is your marriage or your children -- God is the one who can fix.  Seek Him.  But He has to be first...

He has to be first...not an after thought...
 Not for when you have finished a series on Netflix and need something to do...
Not just for when a crisis hits us... 
Not just when you are ready for him....
Not just once a week.....
Not just once a holiday.....
Not just 'because' I can be closer to God when I am alone and at home....
Not just for when someone is ill....
Not just because "that is what I am suppose to do"....

You are loved - more than you will ever know.  And truly if YOU understood that and lived in that knowledge...your marriage would be getting better -- only because you are better.  

Don't you want a REAL relationship with Him?  I do.  I do!!!   It drives me.  

I believe that many will see Jesus one day and He will say, "depart from me, I never knew you".  Too many of us sugar coat this and think ..."oh I will have time later to get back with Jesus".....  maybe tonight IS YOUR last night on this earth!?? 

There are many good ones....that will not see heaven because they are too busy on the earth right now and place God 2nd or 3rd.  

And if we don't think ETERNALLY minded now, I believe we will sadly be mistaken and sorry later.  

Robert Morris spoke about salvation and heaven this past month.  He made a comment, "people will say, Oh how can a loving God let people go to hell?"  He replies..."how can a you a very smart person NOT see the reality of WHO God is and why would you even QUESTION that?"  He reminds us that God created hell for Satan and his angels.  We are the ones placing ourselves IN there by our actions.  

Tonight -- if you are reading this and you are unsure of your salvation - I pray you will seek Jesus and speak to Him and then seek a Pastor/Minister and get it right,  or maybe even contact me.  

Marriage can be the BEST and closest thing to heaven here on earth and I believe God intended it that way, so I will pray and believe that your marriage will be that sort of marriage.  IN Jesus Name.  Amen.  

You Say
I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh, I believe
Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory, (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
Oh I believe (I), yes I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh I believe (oh)

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Marriage is HARD, BOLD Prayers #39 - Don't lose HOPE.

I have read this book, several times and the chapter on "losing heart" has been highlighted -- marked up ....and well--read and reread and tonight I want to share a part of it.
I am basically rewriting a part of it - if this sticks into your brain and you want to read more -- it is from the book,  "Strong Women, soft hearts" by Paula Rinehart.
She writes:  

...if you want to know real joy in life, then be willing to let pain tutor your soul....

Passion in life is comprised mostly of the stuff that comes from the tutoring process--slowly and mysteriously-- like a phoenix rising from the ashes of despair. I should add that the root of this word passion gives us significant clues as to how we acquire it.  It means "to suffer".  It's as though some wise old souls was trying to let us in on a little secret. are interested in the passionate life. You want the real thing.  Are you willing, then, to grapple with a bit of pain?   - Paula Rinehart

I thought about that  and read that and reread that...pain has tutored my soul.
Pain has taught me much. 
A crisis of faith is what it took.....for me to become passionate about Christ.  

  Passion is a two-sided coin on which joy is wedded, inextricable, to sorrow, and wisdom is purchased at the feet of suffering.  You won't know many moments of being Cinderella at the ball without sweeping up your own pile of ashes and cinders.  The real prizes are never cheap.   - Paula Rinehart

Again, I thought about that - read and reread it.  
To think that suffering is what most of us have to live through to really learn to trust God..
to really learn to hunger for really have that passion.....

She goes on to write that when we lose heart ..we lose hope and it is easy to lose hope in our flesh!  She gives scripture to remind us:  

"Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength...For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant"  

Hope that is pinned to God, rather than to people, has a buoyancy to it because it is grounded not in our own illusion of how our story should read, but in the character of God.  And so, your husband may indeed leave  for another woman, the book may never be published, the business may never get off the ground, but we dare not let go of our hope.  We stay alive to the possibility to encountering someone really good, so that we can welcome it when it comes.  We won't have  our backs turned. - Paula Rinehart

As David wrote in the Psalms,
"I would of despaired unless I had believe that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

David expected to see the goodness of God in his life -- at any possible moment, in the most unlikely of situations, because good is simply how God is.  A sense of expectancy rooted in the goodness of God keeps hope alive!

I was purposeful in choosing WHICH paragraph I was going to post here -- I put it in red...
If  you know me, you can understand why I read and reread that.
I read it and was mad at God..."No way....that can't be!"
I read it and thought, "Ok God...I will trust".
And finally I got to a point where I read it and understood it.

We have to put our hope in God.
Our Lord.
Our BEST pal and confidant.

I have learned, probably the hard way, that we can't give up hope.
It takes TIME - God's time!

I wanted to encourage someone  again -- seek God - look to HIM for your hope and don't give up!
It takes time - HIS time.  But I promise you -- in the mean time, you can look for the goodness of the Lord - HE will show you that while HE is making the bigger picture change!!

- in HIm, Michelle

I wrote this blog back in 2012.  It sort of piggy backs onto the post from last night -- that there can be a real healing in a wounding.    

For the ones being faithful with me and praying for a marriage ...praying for several marriages, or even that you are IN a hard and struggling marriage....may tonight, you find yourself reading this and knowing ...there is HOPE. 

With God, there is HOPE.  We have NO idea what tomorrow may bring.  Tomorrow the Lord may allow something to bring him to his knees...are you ready?
Tomorrow, the Lord may allow another hard thing to be brought to light -- are you ready?  
Tomorrow, the prodigal may actually seek you and share with you his or her true goldy repentance..are you ready? 

God won't let you down.  Continue to hope and believe that indeed a miracle is coming in God's timing.  IN Jesus name.  Amen.  

Monday, September 3, 2018

Marriage is HARD, Bold Prayers - are you quitting? Day #38

I heard today ... a couple I have prayed for--is filing for divorce.  I can't blame her -- it has been a long haul.  I heard it through another....I haven't spoken to her in some time.  But I felt defeated for a bit -- but, I gave it to God.  Each of us .... has to seek HIM for what we do next. 

 Sometimes the push and pull back and forth takes such a toll.  

Today, while working on another project, I listened to Pastor Robert Morris's series about heaven and our rewards there.  I want whatever is for me ...nothing less.  

Another couple, had a very HARD decision to make in the past 48 hours.  And I was able to give advice...but in the end -- it is the two of them making this decision.  Truly, it felt like an EASY decision from the outside looking in....but in was fear and the unknown that they had  place before God and to trust to God. 

 Again ....   as much as I want to see it 'easy' for the couples we pray for ....we know that suffering and a deep wounding does bring a new found freedom and closeness to Christ like never before.  

Each person will stand there - in judgement before God...and there will be an account for everything.  Praise God we have a Savior that intervenes for us and covers us. 

 And yet... even if we do have that name in the Lamb's Book of life, we will still answer to the choices we made and be rewarded for our faith.  

Again ..I want it all -- whatever God has for me.

  I found this blog that I wrote back in November of 2011.  We had just sold our home in September and moved to our first rental.  We were in FULL therapy mode heading to the coast each Friday to literally allow another to question us.  I remember those sessions very well...where I drove home afterwards thinking, "why am I in trouble?".  

But that is for another blog or time to share.... the process was trusted and it took time, but God won.  This blog caught my eye and I don't remember WHAT transpired that day that made me WANT to quit...but the hurt could be easily remembered.  And I reminded myself -- But God Won!   

If you are trying to quit this eve... I pray that will SEEK God and do ONLY WHAT He allows... in Jesus' Name.  Amen.  

Here is that blog: 

so..   when does one quit.... ???

I was mixing up some cookie batter to roll out some cookies.  The Youth Group at Church is having a bake sale.  I had successfully stirred up 2 batches of my Grandma's roll out cookies and used up all the flour.  So, I put the eggs, sugar, and butter in the mixer and turned it on to 'cream' .....  and I turned around to grab the new bag of flour out of the pantry and in the 45 seconds it took to grab it, I turned around to see this....

the bowl was practically off the mixing stand and the batter had crawled up the sides of the bowl and was flying out.. it was everywhere...   there was a centrifugal force of that sweet yellow butter,sugar, and egg cream.....   the dog was even covered but I could not grab her fast enough to get a photo.

Clean up time...  quitting time.......  

I could not establish how much batter was really left in the bowl so I quit.  I cleaned.

I got to thinking - there is a life lesson in this.  And there was.

My life goes up and down.  One day I am so strong and the next, a little thing can set me back.  I kept asking God this morning -- 'what'????    HE reminded me of HIS security.

I am secure in HIS love.  I am HIS.
God reminded me HE wins.  HE does not quit....  HE could of scooped up the batter and added flour and made some really good cookies, but I would of needed HIS divine HELP.... I would need some supernatural power.

Right now, on this Earth - I can access that.  I cleaned up the batter and knew HE was there, always scraping my feelings up of this or that - what has been splattered here and there and HE adds to me and makes me whole again, tasting sweet.  IT is HIM.  Not... what this person says or does for me. Not what I am expecting from this one or that one.  Not what I can do on my own -- it is HIM.  ONLY HIM.  HE has to do it.

HE reminded me today, that quitting is NOT an option.  Funny,  last night at a certain point because of a certain thing.... I had really thought about quitting.  For the first time in this journey that I have been in with my family, my husband,  my friends.... I have wanted to quit ... I have asked, "can I?"...  But last night, the  Enemy really got in my head and really made me feel that quitting would be easier.  That dart came - and it was grabbed and held at bay -- not by me --- by the Holy Spirit.  HE reminded me of past victories and HIS plan is always good.  HE reminded me of the reward awaiting -- to see a whole family restored.  So, last night before I finally closed my eyes......  I asked God for a fresh new start today.

HE answered -- this am, I find it interesting that the thought of "I am quitting"..    is now like a distant thought, but it did bring me back to the Cross...... we can't do anything without HIS help.  I can't worry about tomorrow- HE is my security.  I can't allow the Enemy to put thoughts of quitting in me - I will renew my mind.  Every moment -- Every minute.

Maybe this will bless you today -- if you read to the end.  

God answers prayers.  HE allows hurt and pain -- for a reason -- so we rely totally on HIM and HIM only.    When we are restless - we need to SEEK HIM more.  WHEN we don't know what to do - we TURN to HIM.

And it is God who establishes us with  you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has also put his seal on us and give us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee ---2 Corn 1.21-22

The Holy Spirit is our guarantee -- HE is fighting for us and HE gave us the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us while we are here... so when we want to quit, we know that we know, that is not what our Lord wants.  And so that we know,  HE will come and add scrape us up -  and add what is needed so that we are sweet and whole again.  HE restores.

Thank You Lord,  YOUR love makes me smile.

You know Lord, that the  Enemy really wants to beat me up today - do me a favor and kick him into hell - thanks, michelle

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Marriage is HARD, Bold prayers #37 -- Our Value.

What a beautiful photo ...right?   I downloaded or basically 'stole' it from a FB post.  This little boy is adorable - right?  It is from a photo shoot.  The little boy is the grandson of a high school mate.   This high school mate -- her husband went to see Jesus last December and this is their grandson.  

The family planted a WHOLE field of sunflowers as the sunflower is the symbol for ALS disease.   I honestly wished I could do the same...but I would need a field and a little more of that Wisconsin weather...  Florida can produce Sunflowers...but not like these!   

So, they had a family photo shoot within that field and this photo captured my heart.  1.  I love sunflowers.  2.  I love family photos -- even of those I don't know.  3.  He is a little ginger headed boy...I could have a grandson with that color of hair one day.  4.  He is the grandson of a family-- I do know and have prayed for.  And 5.  It was JUST too breathtaking not to share.  

 There is some specific meaning as to why  the sunflower  is the flower for ALS, but what I loved about this photo is that sunflowers grow in 'families' and they grow taller when together.  They had too.  At the age of 51 or 52, just after Dave retired...he was diagnosed with ALS.  He fought for almost 3 years.  I watched, prayed, and admired and will forever be changed by this disease.  That family grew taller and closer through this.   

We grow taller...when we are in the family of Christ.  

And can hurt us so badly at times.  Words, actions...even just not talking or no actions.  

This morning, I awoke to the Holy Spirit speaking to me.  I was thinking about several women and situations and praying and clearly ...I heard, "remind them of their value".    I know the Holy Spirit wasn't just speaking to me about those few in particular I was praying for...He was also speaking to me.  

So often we place our value in material things. 

 But we also place our value in HOW people think of us...HOW people speak to us...and HOW much we are 'worth'. 

  There really can be NO price tag placed on our lives.   And yet...with job promotions...and raises...and 'moving' up within our work place---DOES put value on us and we can tend to allow that value to truly define us.  Then again...maybe we don't, but when we are passed up for a promotion or passed up for that recognition...we feel LESS THAN.   Feeling less than... is a form of feeling rejection.  We were not valuable to 'them' or to 'him'. ......  

Again... I am preaching to the choir...myself.  

Our VALUE does come only from WHO made us.  

These truths are from the Adamant book written by Lisa Bevere.  

Because I am in Christ, I am constant, immovable, and unshakable in truth. He is my fortress, stronghold,and unassailable refuge.  

I am seen and known because God is adamantly intimate with every moment of my life.  

God is love, and I cannot stop God from living me.  His love is invincible and immovable.

I will use my words to heal and build up rather than to criticize and tear down.  

I am God's adamant. I hear his voice clearly, and my  innermost being agrees with what he says.  Day by Day, I am growing more and more and experiencing the fullness of who God says I am.   

For today.... I want to remind those reading and praying with me that YOUR value comes from the heavenly Father.  Your value does NOT come from your husband, your job, or your kids.  You may feel unappreciated, underpaid, and less than...but YOUR Jesus died on that cross for YOU and paid the ultimate price.  WE have to separate those fleshly, earthly feelings of what we DESERVE what God promises us.  What He promised us.  And we have to remind ourselves...that in this life..we will experience trouble.  

Quite simply today -- the simple prayer is this...

Lord, that the one within the marriage who is fighting so hard..may she understand and know her through YOU...not her marriage or not from anything else...IN Jesus name.  AMEN.  

Here are a few more photos from that family ...are they just not beautiful!   And they area expecting another... well, I am assuming by this beautiful photo!  The dad in the photo - it was his dad who had ALS.  My class mate ...her name is Shelly... if you have family with ALS - you can relate.  But what joy in this photo right??  I truly believe heaven will have fields of sunflowers all around my mansion!   AMEN     

Marriage is HARD, BOLD prayers - trusting God. #36

This is a blog I wrote back in 2013.  It was  Easter time and I felt the Holy Spirit was reminding me to TRUST HIM.   Yesterday I found myself praying and reminding myself that I could TRUST God.  The Holy Spirit awoke me today and gave me a fresh word about 'value'..... so I came to my blog site and began to pray and search.   I admit...I wanted something easy to write as I am on a time limit this am.  There is TOO much to get done before I head to my hair appointment.      I LOVE how the Holy Spirit multitasks and brought me to a few posts and photos and then to this blog.  

In this blog, I do write about my childhood/high school pal, Trace.  She went to see Jesus back in 2013.  At this particular time...I was praying for a miracle for her.  Believing that God would heal her cancer for the 2nd time.  At this time in my life, I questioned God a lot more.  I still question God ...but I do trust Him more.  

Anyway....  bottom line, I knew I wanted to repost this.  There is a wife that wants to TRUST God in her marriage.  I pray this insight into my head and thinking back in April of 2013...helps.  

And the blog post about 'value'....HE has written most of it already and I want to be diligent and pray a bit more before I publish that one....  as it was inspired by two women but God also wants me to write it for me.   To be continued....   But, back to trusting God -- if you know that 'trust' issues are indeed a part of your marriage crisis - then I would encourage you to read this.  

The updated  prayer is at the end...   

It is Easter.  Jesus has risen.  How do I know that - I trust that knowledge.  I believe in that.  I read it in HIS word.  I believe that.

My friend Trace, began her chemo this week.  A few days ago in fact,  how do I know that? She told me.  I texted her.  I heard her say she was doing good.   The doctors have not given her much hope.  This is her 2nd battle with a type of breast cancer.  I have been praying that the chemo shrinks the cancer and it then disappears and defies the doctor's opinions.   Why would I  believe or pray that way?  Cause I trust God.

My husband and I went to see a family at a hospital today, a family that we have been praying for for several days now and we prayed over their son in Critical Care.  He is not doing well, and there is a good chance he could spend Easter with Our Heavenly Father, but we are believing in a miracle!  How do I know that, or believe in that miracle? HIM.

Trusting is a HARD thing.  When it comes to the 'bottom' of it, people will say they trust in this or that, but to me it takes a WHOLE lot more faith to trust in a person than it is to trust in GOD.

People fail us.  God does not fail us.  But what happens when....HE does not heal or he does allow the heartache to last.....ah, yes, THAT is when we must TRUST - right?

Or Rely on HIM?

 I found this:  The thing is to rely only on God.  The time will come when you will regard all this misery as a small price to pay for having been brought to that dependence.  Meanwhile, the trouble is that relying on God has to begin all over again EVERY day as if nothing has yet been done.  - CS Lewis.

Pretty profound hugh?

God's timing is perfect and it is no accident that I have called out to HIM and begged for healing for two special people this week.   Now we must trust that GOD will do HIS best work.


Trust hangs somewhere between knowing what your heart longs for and trying to dictate the shape or timing or outcome of your heart's desire.     
It lies in the willingness to accept the particulars of how and when and where God chooses to intervene.  It waits in the cool shade of surrender.   - Paula Reinhart 
There are loads of things that lead us to TRUST God... knowing your marriage may end taking a phone call from your sister and hearing the words, 'we have lost Blake'...  seeing your parents hurt each other with words and realize the hurt has gotten so deep... moving across the country for a job
.... like jumping feet first into a new challenge when you are scare to DEATH! sitting at the foot of a bed and watch a child struggle to breathe seeking a new job when you know it will be a challenge getting a phone call that totally shakes your life finding a lump and sitting under a PET scan and wondering if the cancer is back moving back home when a family is broken hearing the words, 'I don't love you'... coming home and being scare of what you will find... believing your were never loved... hearing of another's heartache and it brings you to action but ...what could you do? thinking that you are unloved.. believing that a hurt from childhood could harm your entire present reality being tossed back and forth by the winds of change... so hurt as a child, that you have cut off anyone that could hurt you as an adult, but that makes you isolated...

Some of these experiences are mine...others are people I know...and others are just experiences...that is not the point - the point is what has caused YOU to trust God?

Paula Reinhart says that the root of trust comes from being grounded in the fact and knowledge that you are LOVED by God.  That no matter what, as long as I am loved by God..HE will lead me to the light in this cruel world.   Do I know that - that I am SO loved?  HIS word says I was so loved before the foundation of the world.

Learning to trust my husband again has been hard, but I trust him through my Lord.
Learning to trust God, has been something I have been working on for YEARS!
Learning to trust God when it comes to our immediate friends and family and with their healing....

Paula says, "if we let ourselves be loved by God, our hands release their grips on the reins of our lives and we stop trying so hard to be the one with all the answers".

God has the answers.  I don't.

Will Trace's cancer be shrunk to its disappearance?
Will Chris sit in church again - soon?
Will I ever get this figured out?

I am believing and trusting and praying that God is going to heal them both!  

Paula says this too:

God is always good.  If life is like a deck of cards, then God is always the wild card.  He is not subject to our human efforts to influence outcomes, we are subject to HIS.  His story is the great story being told- and none of us  know exactly how our own story will read - only that it will end well!  This is why we trust, in the important matters, always feels like a risk and why it entails courage.  

God does not have to explain Himself to us, we worship a God who is mysterious - too mysterious to fit into our formulas.  It means God is not our best friend, our secret lover, or our alter ego...HE is our God.  It evens means that it is just as frightening as it is delightful to stand in HIs presence.  Our creaturely relationship with God is one in which we are, at the same time, both irresistibly drawn to HIm and humbled by the grandeur of his holiness. 

I know this, heartache is NOT God's discipline for us.  That is NOT the heart of God!   Sometimes it is easier for people to blame others or themselves.  

But accepting the mystery of what we cannot know will lead us to the heart of God - where we trade our craving for explanation for a simple willingness to trust God.

There is a peace within Chris' parents that you can hear when you speak to them.
There is a peace within Trace's texts that you can they are trusting God and they have that peace.

God is so good.  HIS word says, 'surely goodness and kindness shall follow him all the days of his life'...for those who put their TRUST in HIM.

Today is Easter, many will put their trust in stuff.  Some will trust that Publix will still be open, and find it is closed today!  Some... will trust and believe there is no 'hell' -- our God could never do that for His people.    Some will think or trust they can 'get it right with God later, after their are married, after they finish college, or next week'.....
There are people that will trust their car will work tomorrow so they can make it to church the one day of the year they feel guilty...

Is this your TRUST?  Or is Your TRUST in HIM?
I have felt the burden to pray this week for many within my circle that 'think' they are headed to heaven and they 'think' they know the Lord...but they really don't TRUST HIM.

They don't rely on HIM.
THey have not fallen in love with HIM.

When you fall in love with someone...YOU want to be with them, YOU want to read what they wrote, YOU want to tell others...YOU WANT that and you begin to build that relationship and eventually you  TRUST them.  It is the same with God.

Ok, enough said -

 Lord, you brought me to this post for Your purpose.  I am thankful that Chris indeed saw Easter and I I am not sure where he is or if he is seeking you...but I will trust that he is.  Lord, I do pray for his parents they are not in the same place as 5 years ago ...but I am trusting that each of them is seeking you in their own way.  For indeed, you answered their prayer and I know it was for Your purpose.  

 Lord, for Trace's family...her daughter and two sons and his husband ....I pray and believe that indeed -- they see Trace in their hearts and lives and that they are closer to You and trusting You!  

Lord, for the wife or mother that has read this today and is trusting You in spite of what she sees before her.  Lord, comfort, hold, and speak so loudly that any doubt is erased.   Lord, for the marriages we hold before you -- goodness Lord, that both of the partners within these troubled marriages and within these that are just struggling....may each of them seek YOU out and ask I trust You Lord?    Lord, when we totally TRUST in You and rely on You to fill our needs and takes the other "off" the hook....and allows them to seek You and get well.   Bottom Line Lord...  FIX ONLY You can, but I pray each of the marriage partners would take ownership of their OWN hurts and what needs to be FIXED within in them first and trust...that YOU can change hearts...YOU can change perspectives...and YOU can redeem what was stolen or given away to the enemy.  IN Jesus name...AMEN.  

And specifically for a family today Lord that has been trusting YOU and now... must totally rely on the fact that ONLY YOU...can comfort them as they sit by the side of their child...and watch him leave this earth.  Lord, I pray that they ....the parents would know, he is experiencing NO fear as YOU are right there...and I pray that they would FEEL YOUR presence in a greater and mightier way never before.  Amen.  

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Marriage is HARD, a BOLD reminder that GOD can! #35

But God can...
But God has....

But God will do again..

It may look like your marriage is in its most dangerous crisis....  but God...
It may appear that your child has made some VERY poor choices...but God...
It may seem like there is no HOPE...but God...

I have had the honor and pleasure to see some very hard and hopeless marriages get turned around!  
I have seen some very strong and purposeful marriages -- fall.

I have seen some very strong and hopeless people become full of JOY and gladness in HIM! 
I have seen some very strong and purposeful people -- fall.

Just recently -- there was a person my husband and I have been praying for  -- and we both felt that this  man was for 'certain' NOT going to seek counsel and guess what -- But God....   

God is always working.
God is always ON our side.
God is always there -- WANTING all of us... we must trust.

God is fighting for you -- if you are seeking HIM,  which means you are in prayer and communication through His Word.

God is fighting  for you -- if you are seeking HIM, which means you are in prayer and communication ton with HIM through His Word....

Two basic truths..HE is calling us...and then we must act responsibly. 

We  must examine ourselves and ask..."what is in me Lord, that needs to be removed or changed?".  Come to Him...   seek Him..and then obey.

When THAT part has been addressed...we can come to Him and know

                 -- that His will is for us to be in love...... with Him first and then others....

When I awoke today, I had the URGE to share Jeremiah 33.3

 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

Then Jeremiah 29.11 came.....

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

As God continues to teach and show me stuff -- He uses unexpected places.  

Unexpected places.   

Someone reading this today -- knows that the place she is AT right now - is NOT HIS will....but, she needs to know to WAIT on HIM and HE will remove the mountain or blow a hole right in the middle of it and walk her through it.  

Someone reading this right now....needs to be reminded that HIS plans for her .... for you... are NOT what YOU see right now....But God is at work!  

Someone reading this right now, needs to CALL to HE will, God will tell you WHAT is next and what needs to happen.  

Someone reading this right now, needs to be reminded that "these' are NOT the plans He has for you -- THIS is not His will....  

Someone  - including me....just needed a reminder today that GOD wins!   

But God...

But God will reveal it !  
But God will show you...

But God.....     

Lord, for the specific marriages and couples my husband and I are praying for -may YOUR will be done.  Lord, for the new person reading this and questioning - may YOUR will be done. Lord, for those in crisis and working towards solutions and redemption - may YOUR will be done, may they truly get the healing needed and not just place a band aid on the surface.  Lord, for the one who feels crazy this morning - may they realize YOUR will can be done within their lives.  And I pray for the extras that are reading and following these blogged prayers and using them to intercede for the ones around them - let NOTHING be wasted.  In Jesus's name... Amen.