Faith over Feelings - WE can CRAWL into HIS arms. Blog Prayer #32

So, we are in the middle of a Pandemic. 
Easter came and went. 
People all over the world and in my house are praying Psalm 91 all over.  

And yet... today -- 

THIS happened.  

I was on a ZOOM meeting ( to which I was late for ) with ADMIN and peers and she came to sit on my lap.

 She smiled at the meeting participants, I muted it so that she would not disturb and then  she got off my lap and disappeared. 

She returned to me, with the blanket and pillow.  And within 3 minutes, was OUT.  
I fixed the blanket - how she fell asleep on the hard floor?????- she is 2.  !!!

She knew what she needed and how to achieve some rest.  SEEK MiMi with a blanket and pillow and RIGHT there.  Sleep.  

As I prayed over her, I was reminded about GOING to HIM - pure and simple for rest.  

Matthew 11:28-30 
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gently and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. "

Psalm 127: 2
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling  for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Mark 6:32
So they went away by themselves in a boast to a solitary place.  

Psalm 4:8
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.  


Lord, simply - may we REST in you, not only when we are weary -- but when we are worried...when we are wanting answers...when we are wanting MORE...when we are troubled...and when we don't understand.  

MAY we rest in YOU when we are in a good time -- and when things seem good, may we also HONOR your day of REST -- seek you, allow our bodies to refresh THROUGH YOUR Word and YOUR hand.  

Goodness LORD - may we KNOW that we are THAT LOVED.. that we can GO or COME to YOU and crawl up, even on a HARD floor in YOUR presence.  LORD, may our faith in knowing that YOU will give us the peace we are craving even when our feelings are TOO much or causing TOO much - may we have faith over them.   IJN  

May this bless you - and may YOU find REST in HIM.  

Faith over Feelings Prayer #31 -- HE does not forget your name.

 I wrote this blog back in September of 2016.  THIS eve, as I was thinking and praying, I had an idea that I wanted to share.   There is one this eve, I want her to FEEL HOPE -- but the HOPE in Christ.  
There is one this evening where truth was spoken with grace, but was it received in grace and love?   I believe it was received; however, the enemy is such a liar and he torments us with thoughts of  being wrong and less than.... 

In this situation - I had to trust God.   AT times, in obedience, we must speak life and truth, even when it hurts.  I have to remind myself, I would rather hear truth and be upset which will lead to forgiveness and reconciliation rather than allow a lie or share a lie that makes one feel better at the time.  So, as I sat and prayed,  my faithful Holy Spirit, brought me to this post.  

The TITLE caught my eye.  "Just forget my name".  

 I read it through, several  times and realized some of the burden that caused me to write this back in 2016 was indeed something I did remember.   However,  I  marveled at WHAT has transpired since I wrote this blog -- the victory.  AS the weapon that was formed - did not prosper.  

For  example,  I shared about a little girl who, I would hope, would  call me Mimi one day.  She is now 4 and loves me well.  She calls me Mimi.  THAT is a very important name to me. 

Another friend, did leave a voice mail on my phone, "just forget my name"...back in 2016 and  it broke my heart, but I had to allow God to fight the battle.  There is now perfect harmony in this friendship as God did heal. 

The other requests --I honestly can't remember all the burdens and whom they are connected to, but God does.   
I wouldn't be able to carry ALL those burdens - I am not the Savior.  He tells me in His word to cast them upon HIM.     But, as I read this blog, I believe that one reading this now - will relate and the circumstance may now, indeed, be their circumstance.  

Tonight, I was reminded that ALL of my affliction is 'light' in comparison to eternally.   John Piper says, " every second of my misery, in the path of obedience, is producing a peculiar glory, in the light of eternity."  I want that - peculiar -- glory!  

Our pain ... our affliction is never meaningless.  
Let's not look to what we SEE but what God SEE's.  

Nothing is meaningless.  

Therefore do not lose hope. 

 GOD has NOT forgotten YOUR name.  Your name is written in the palm of HIS hand.  

Ok, I will let you read the post for September 2016.

********************************************************************

This post is being typed with a heavy  but hopeful heart. 

Colossians 3.17 says  " And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

So Jesus, as I type, I am thankful and grateful for  MANY people - Your people - that I get to love on and live with, but my heart if feeling heavy today.  It has felt heavy for a few weeks.

Life was  meant to be easy -- but Satan deceived Eve into thinking that God was withholding something.  And she ate of that apple.   I remind myself all the time,  THIS was not God's plan.

Pastor Robert Morris's definition of GRACE is :  the unmerited, undeserved kindness of God. 

I have seen that so many times.  Most recently 2 weeks ago when I got to LOVE on a little girl.  Some day I hope she calls me "MeMe".  Taylor and I discussed whether it should be "MiMi" or how I spelled it,  as my given name is Michelle;   but oh, I am thinking now, "MeMe chell would sound pretty good too!!   Taylor and her husband are walking within God's grace in a new season of their lives and we are praying that a transition of 50/50 custody will occur and our kids will be more 'full - time' parents instead of once a week.    I truly did not believe this would transpire until  the child was older..... circumstances seemed unreal and yet very hard and by HIS grace and through MUCH prayer -- we have some undeserved Kindness!   And I am claiming more.

I asked for that.   I asked for some undeserved kindness.

  I have been, I confess, trying to 'quit' on some assignments for the past 3 months.  I keep telling God HE can find another.  I bargain with Him.   I will tell Him, "Ok, I will do that but you must do this." My dear friend says it all the time, "don't do business transactions with God".  I hear her loud and clear and at the end of the day, the Lord knows I submit and that my bargaining or banter back and forth with Him is just our way of  talking to HIM.  He knows my heart.  He knows I want to hear, "well done my faithful servant".  I seek HIS approval.  Moment my moment.

In Ephesians 4, Paul says, "as a prisoner for the Lord, then.  I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 

Be completely humble and gentle: be patient, bearing with one another in love."

I have  spoken  with -- several in fact, that are dealing with the pain of a child making poor choices, a husband, choosing to walk away from God, and another who just wants to quit -- all of which hurts my heart,  causes it to question God for a nano second cause I want answers for THEM right now and I want to see the goodness of God  in those that are hurting - faster than it is coming.  But God.

God is RIGHT there with them, providing and extending that grace to them as well.

Jeremiah 1.5 says:   "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart: I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."   -- God knew all of this.



So, God knew -- when a dear friend would say, "forget my name"....it will be only temporary --
So, God knew -- when a man took a blood test it would prove there was drugs and alcohol within it --
So, God knew -- that one of my dear loved ones would have a bad week with her medication --
So, God knew -- that another would end her 'weaker' chemo and begin the 'hard' stuff next --
So, God knew -- another would find some HOPE after being without her husband for over a year as he divorced her --
So, God knew that another's prayer to move his ALS  so he could get to heaven faster -- would be a hard one on his family ---
So, God knew -- another would want to quit so badly, but a bevy of prayer walking warriors would stand behind her and remind her NOT to quit --
So, God knew -- that  another's pain would be healed last Sunday and she would testify to it at church on Wednesday --
So, God knew -- that my heart would be heavy for so many reasons in this time, but HE gave me some instant hope that held me --
So, God knew -- that another would go to her knees for her child who is making bad bad bad choices - so bad that going to jail would be a good thing --
So, God knew -- the one that wanted so desperately to 'come clean'  would try her best to seek forgiveness and then get scared away,  because a 'Christian' gave her false hope--
So God knew -- a man would want his wife and children but his pride would keep him away --
So, God knew -- that total peace would be felt in an awkward situation , but our flesh would still want to fuss --

God knows.

And as I went through my list of ....so God -- YOU knew this and yet...   !!?? 

I could not bargain with Him -- cause I knew that in each of these situations -- God would bring beauty out of the ashes -- in HIS time.


God will bring that friendship back around and there will be a 360 - In Jesus name!
God will provide the best treatment center for the one  -- and God will do everything in His power to persuade the father to seek treatment  - In Jesus name.!
God will bring that loved one into the next phase of Chemo as her body is weak but her faith is strong - In Jesus name!
God will bring perfect  healing and a better doctor for that other loved one who is battling this 'syndrome' that needs more clarity, In Jesus name!
God will hold that family as their dad and husband fights against the ALS and gets closer to his home in heaven, In Jesus name.
God will ...  I could go on -- I have -- God will give more hope, as I continue to seek Him and serve Him.


If you  have felt the pain of rejection this week -- if someone has told you to forget them or you feel forgotten by God because a prayer has not been answered --- as you see it...then get on those knees and just cry out to HIM.


Say the Lord's prayer.

Read Psalm 25 and then go to John 15.10... where it states - if you obey my commands  - you will remain in MY Love ....   Stay IN HIS love -- He will provide and HE will NEVER forget your name.

Amen.

So the reality is, the marriage is broken, BUT God - the Vow RENEWAL - Part VIII

I am not a psychologist or a life coach.  I am just a woman, who loves God, seeks the power of the Holy Spirit, and knows Jesus as her best friend.  I have lived a little bit.  Life's experiences have certainly  been played out and I am pretty sure God is not finished with me yet, but I am going to attempt to share a couple of blogs that I pray God will use to help foster some hope and to encourage a wife who is hurting and broken that God is fighting for her and God will win!   

This was anniversary #25! 

THE above,  is the text or backstory   at the beginning of a series of blogs I wrote back in 2017. 
 I wrote 7 blogs.  God's perfect number is 7. 
 But then... Today, HE 'released' me to share Part 8.   This series was written to be shared with a wife or mother needing some answers quick when faced with a crisis and an earthquake hits.  

Renewal.   Vow Renewal.   Eight is the number of renewal.  

It has been over 3 years since I wrote Parts 1-7. 
 It has been almost 11 years when the  earthquake shattered what I knew existed as  my perfect life and family, but God won.  

My blogging has been a bit -- skimpy-- and limited in the past 2 years.  I believe in the past month or two, the Lord has been awakening the pen again and maybe HE has kept me quiet for such a long time, because of today.     Maybe He needed to give me a rest.  Maybe some readers needed to see a rest in me.  Maybe there was a long rest so that the right person would  read this.  

 I am unsure of the WHY I write these blogs at times.  For the longest time, it was my therapy.  I needed an outlet.  Then, as Holy Spirit  spoke and wrote, God indeed showed me that HE uses these words of His and my experiences to give another hope and direction.

  At a time when I NEEDED answers, God led me to a few blogs and HE spoke to me and counseled me through some rough times. And,  this eve -- I do believe He has me writing-- to give HIM glory, as another needs to realize that God wins.  

God knows. 

  Part 7 is good.  It is posted here , link below.  But this eve -- Part 8 has to be shared.  


Part VII


So, if you read Part 7 and it is fresh in your memory, I shared what redemption looked like in our home and what it felt like through my words.  

I wrote this series to help guide a wife /mother through the journey I walked,  as God revealed and then grew us both,  and healed us.  I truly believe that often, we don't FIGHT for our marriages. 

 Since our crisis of faith, we have had the God given pleasure to pray with couples and encourage them. We have also sat across from some,  with tears in our eyes, as we could see WHAT God could do....but the ones on the other side of the table -- didn't want to work at what we thought GOD wanted.   But -- as we prayed, we trusted  GOD.  

We know countless people prayed for us over  that hard time and for  our marriage, but  what  finally hit or what was the spark that made us both come back to see ----that Jesus was not Lord of our lives????   That can be read through the lines of those blogs in Parts 1-6!    That was the God allowed earthquake.  

Today -- again, Redemption.  Vow renewal.  

I have mentioned this in the blog before, but on the night, when  all  hell broke loose - I had a dream. A vision.  Over the years - I have 'adjusted'  the WHOM,  that I believe were in this dream.  For many years, I knew it was so and so and so and so --  and then, seasons changed and I would admit - "well, Lord, you are correct, I never saw their faces, I just saw people".  And so, over the  past, almost 11 years, I have indeed fixed my eyes on that vision and believed it was  this person or that. 

 Bottom line, the Lord revealed or reminded me over the past two weeks,  in that vision,  was my husband and I  and we were renewing our vows.  Our children were there.  And there were 3-4 others.  I can see them.  Some times, I can clearly see one couple leading us in our vows, another time, I can clearly see we are in a circle, all happy, but my children ARE there -- today, I felt the Holy Spirit remind me -- the point of the vision was that HE gave me something to HOLD onto....to hold on and believe in when it seemed NO hope for my family to stick together and for our marriage to remain.
  But God.  

I have been praying the past month for a special interview that transpired today.  And in praying that I would give ALL Glory to God -- and empty myself of me...  God showed me MUCH more.  

Last November, I was gifted with something.  Taylor ( my daughter ) was contacted by  a special couple  who wanted to gift me with   "The Blessing"-- portrait.   This  "Blessing" was something we were doing in a limited way already.  I am a wordy person -- a words of affirmation person, so my husband and I have always tried our best to affirm our kids and use positive words -- no yelling in our home. We spent much time, making sure our kids knew their good characteristics.  Even when we wanted to smack them.  

  Anyway - going  back  a few years  -  to me seeing a blog on the Footstone Photography site and my heart lept. Immediately  I knew, what Kristin blogged about - was for US.  

  I read Kristin's blogs and  I knew that I knew - this was a GOOD  God thing. I believed and could see WHAT God was going to do.  This would be profound.    I began to share with Taylor about 'doing' this in a  similar fashion for our- now-- grand kids.   So we began, to speak a blessing over the grands.  Our first one,  was for Ava when she was 2, and then 3, and recently at her 4th birthday.  What I saw transpire through her as we did these Blessings -- HOW  remarkable.   We incorporated it into a few birthdays for some of  the adults in our family  as well and again - HOW remarkable.   That indeed is another blog - but WOW.  

So, when Taylor stated that Kristin and Paul felt the Holy Spirit connected us,  and they wanted to come and gift me with  a "Blessing  portrait " -- little did I know what God had planned.   What God had orchestrated from the beginning.  Whoa.  

Paul's video about The Blessing

Talk about being undone. 
  In part of my gift, Paul created a video for me.  A few of the snapshots are here in this blog.  The video  Paul created for me - is  a treasure and  I get to remind myself of HOW Good our God is - daily. 

They are making me an album, which I will treasure.  If you go to their web  site and look around and see  what   this Blessing  is -- and what it has done for others.  Whoa! You will be curious and I know God will speak to you as well, especially if you have grandchildren.  

   I encourage you to watch the video link I added in this blog of Paul speaking about "The Blessing".   ( link above)  What a legacy his parents created when they began this "Blessing" in their homes when their children were young.   What a legacy to see this good tradition continue.  Oh the sweetness his parents must see - through this -- legacy.  

  Back to that SHIFT I mentioned.  
Something happened back in November when they came to do the photographs --  there was a shift.  

God did more holy surgery in my head, heart, and there was more healing.  

 Prior to the photo shoot, Kristin had interviewed Brendan, Taylor, Hunter and my Son in law - Jake.  As she had me sit in a chair -- She read the words from their interviews.  Words of affirmation over me.  And her husband, snapped away and captured the photos - all the ugly tears and all. 

  My kids were first.  Last was BP  - or Brendan.  I have  always teased  that we were to have our VOW renewal ...at our 30th .. and then it got pushed to our 35th anniversary.  It was something that we agreed upon when counsel was done....but it seemed to be pushed off.

I wanted it.   
But I prayed and  I felt - like Mary, and "pondered" it in my heart.  I knew the vision and knew that if I waited on God -- it would be in HIS timing.  

As Brendan was the last one to hold my hand and look into my eyes, Kristin read the words -- indeed -- they were like vows. I will treasure the photos that Paul caught.  He also caught me cracking up - as if you know my husband, he can't be serious for more than a few moments.  But ...this time...he was serious enough.   

 I was undone and as I said- something shifted. 

 From that point on -- I knew - THAT was my vow renewal.  It was in front of 2 witnesses - our photographers - Kristin and Paul....  This Blessing....but it was mostly in front of my children.  Really the ONLY people I felt needed to hear those affirmations.  God won.  

 Whoa -- wow. 

My identity comes from Christ - through Christ, but through this experience, my God used my husband to rebuild  my heart.  

I want that for my granddaughters. 
I want that for my daughter, my nieces, my son ... 
 I want that for my dear warrior pals praying for their marriage and their miracle. 
 I want that for those still fighting through - believing that God will CHANGE their man. 
I want that for a wife who has been dealing with a jerk of a husband for years and I want her to see her value that she is praying him to Christ.  

 I want that -- for others. 

 Indeed, the words spoken that were connected to God's Word, were the most powerful, but think...think of the power in those words, spoken over me..us...you.  

God's Word is the most powerful word spoken over us - and this idea of giving a blessing comes from Scripture.  

Don't you believe that God wants to speak those words over you ??  OH YES, HE does.  

If you google search,  speaking a biblical blessing over another,  you will find a plethora of stuff to read and share and speak over your child...your spouse... over a loved one.  

I share this eve and write Part 8 because , I know that I know - GOD wants this for YOU. 

 If you are reading this out of curiosity -- I would encourage you to check out their web site.  If you are reading cause you love us and have seen us and our testimony - I would add that God is always faithful and continually healing.  Even 11 years later, God continually writes our story. 

If you are in a hard marriage and are praying for that vow renewal -- don't give up or give in.  Continue to wait on God - seek God and LET HIM lead ...as indeed, HE wants this Blessing over you.  

Footstone Photography

Recently - a new song has hit the charts - "The Blessing " by Cody Carnes, Chris Brown, Steven Furtick, and Kari Jobe.  WHAT a testimony and what a song. 

It is my prayer that God connects Paul and Kirsten with Kari and Cody Carnes!  

 I can so picture Kristin and Paul being interviewed by Good Morning America or the Today show and having the world SEE how God can create something and bring families together and how this can be a tool for healing and promoting good and healthy, godly thoughts and attitudes.  And, I can see Jesus shine through each phase of it. 

 That is a  new vision, that I am praying into reality.  

So - anyway - as I share this blog, I just want to encourage you that took the time to read this to the end... God will answer.   And you probably prayed for us - so thanks!  

I am but a no body. 
 If He can heal me - redeem us... and our sin was like a filthily rag - it still is......
 We are sinners saved by grace.  

If HE will do it for us - He will do it for you.   May HIS favor be upon you and your children -- amen. 

God bless.  

The Blessing.