prayers for a marriage -- #23 - new year

Lord,  the New Year's Eve had brought such pain a few years ago, and then if there was not pain - there was reflection and worry -- tonight - as we approach the eve of 2013 - I have GREAT hope and expectancy for 2014...but that is because of YOU!
Lord, I pray for the families that I hold before you - that the wives of those families will continue to hope and the men in those families WON'T give up -- Lord, I pray that as they lay their heads down this eve -- that they will stop and really reflect and LOOK to you in 2014 - and that maybe tomorrow - they will believe that YOU can pull them out of the pit --
And YOU can restore them -- completely -- Simple prayer Lord, yet all so powerful as I know, that when they PUT YOU first -- and die to their 'self'...Lord, then you can begin anew.... Amen.  

And PS Lord - for my marriage - Lord God - that we both put on habits of Godliness, that we don't have the love of money.  Lord for our finances - we want to build a home and be settled again.  Lord, for our ministry together and apart -- Lord, for the habit of perseverance - that we will persevere - and not allow the enemy in.  Lord, for the growing maturity within us -- lord, that we seek YOUR knowledge and that we are good to each other.  Lord bless our time alone - may our physical time grow with You that we won't seek pleasure in other things or thoughts - Lord, that we remain pure in heart as one heart and one flesh with You -- Lord, for our faith - that it will continue to grow - amen.  

Prayers for ME - and my thoughts and plaid shirts! #21.5

I think I am posting this one today as well.  I believe that tomorrow is going to be busy and If I don't get time to post prayer #22 -- this one will do --as  I believe I have to share it.

Today the enemy got to me big time.

Yesterday I helped TP clean out some stuff in her classroom and I found a old photo of her dad from 4 years ago.  I will be completely honest - why would I lie?  I guess I am sharing something personal. ( Lord, protect this.)   He was wearing his favorite blue and green  plaid Polo shirt.  A WHOLE bunch of memories were triggered up.

You see - I destroyed that shirt in a really BAD mood - um 3 years ago.  Piece by piece in a fit of anger and rage.  It is a memory that is very clear in my head.

It is in the past.  But....those triggers....  It took me a good 2-3 hours of prayer and faith   - to get past the 'past thoughts' that wanted to creep into my head.  Well - they creeped in and sat for only but a moment but  I had to REPLACE them and get RID of them.

I think I  am to post  this today, and share because  -- another person out there reading this -- needs to know that LIFE sucks at times and even though we forgive a hurt and move forward--- forgetting does not completely happen.   There are probably some memories that you won't forget.  They can be a reminder of pain if you let them, or they can be the 'thorn' that keeps you humble.  I mean -- I hardly go backwards anymore....but when I do -- Do you know what gets me 'out' of those thoughts quickly?

I think of Jesus on that cross - and what I DID...to HIM...not what was 'done' to me.

I think FAR too many people STAY in that pity party and STAY in that -- I have a problem - LOOK what happened to me --- and they won't get beyond it.

I CHOOSE to move forward - I choose to keep those problems in the past.  I don't want God reminding me of my past EVERY day....with every moment!

But - the enemy has a lot at stake....I have been praying and sending out extra invites to a Bible study next month called GIrls with SWordS at my church  and, I have been proclaiming a victory in a few other prayer requests and so,  I am sure Satan just wanted to ADD in a bit more strife.

No doubt.

I had a cool moment with my #1 first born today - as she was sharing about HOW the enemy had attacked her about her past....when she dug through some UF notebooks and stuff from 4 years ago -  it triggered a different memory with her.  But - praise God, she shared - I shared - and well, GOD won.

We had both put our triggers to prayer earlier in the day before we got to a chatting in her new classroom,  and  we both were singing praise and worship music as we worked in her room,  and we both then shared our hearts -- and confirmed to each other -- that God wins.

 It was JUST the Enemy that attacked again.

She is getting ready to START her career -- and SHE will be bold for HIM - of course the enemy is scared.  Satan hates my daughter.  Satan hates me.

As I said, I am getting ready for another Encounter Weekend - and this new bible study...so ...of course the enemy is scared.

But that is OK -- that is what we WANT to be ...Girls with Swords -- warriors for HIM - in the battle.

God wins.

So this prayer is simple --

Lord GOD -- I bind the enemy away from me....I bind the enemy away from TP - and we believe that with YOU and as YOU are in US...we will DO your good works - amen.
And PS, Lord -- that was BP's favorite shirt and if -- it be your will -- if you would tell the POLO people to REMAKE that shirt in that plaid print, cause I would SURE LOVE to buy him a new one - for the 'new man' that he is...which we love ..which I love...thank you Lord!
And God - for the marriages I am a praying for -- bind the enemy in their unions -- God -- the marriages I am praying for -- the enemy is there -- he is scheming and trying to destroy those families ..but LORD -- I pray that YOU win.  Amen.   

Prayers for a Marriage #21 - covering it up....

Taylor and I were talking today --at her new classroom-- as she was putting up POWER words and I was creating a MAP wall.  On her west wall, there  was a blackboard  that had  been taken down and it was never painted  underneath so all you see was four different colors of old paint and then some major BROWN gunk to fill in the holes in the concrete.   So, in all TRUE teacher fashion - we had to HIDE the wall with something and COVER it up.   In cleaning out some of her newly acquired book cases and cupboards, I came across a box of old maps and an old Reader's Digest Atlas.

 Anyway - let the FUN begin!

I covered that wall all right - I am a pro -- been teaching for 26 years now and I know how to cover a wall.  Lee Dixon once took a photo of my room and used it for FIRE safety training as to 'what NOT to have on your wall'...TOO much stuff that is!  LOL

I still love that he used my wall -- how did I know??  He shared the story with me but he had to delete that photo - my 'sunflowers' gave it away.  Too many people  recognized  my unique choice of wall coverings and it became a laughing point instead of a safty message.....needless to say, I have had to learn to try and restrict WHAT I place on my walls now -- as I don't wish to be a fire hazard!

But, as I spent almost 3 hours cutting, covering, and then taping a wall in old maps, I began to think about HOW much we cover up -- in our lives.

I have been thinking and watching -- others.  Married couples do a lot of 'covering'.  Maybe women DO more of the covering - hiding their pain -- or holding it in.

Maybe not.  Maybe it is really the men doing most of the 'covering' with a mask.

What do we cover up for our spouse or ourselves?
Do we have differences in moral principals?
Do we have opposing friendship choices?
Do we have different religious beliefs?

Is there anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness that we cover up?
Is there impatience or insensitivity being displayed?
Is there apathy that you cover up?  

I caught myself today.....thinking about another couple.  They are older.  We were never friends but through the insurance office, I learned a bit of their story.   I quickly judged him as it was always rumored that  he used to be a 'ladies man' -- but now I believe he is committed to his wife.   He  would always be at  church.   Why did she stay - did she ever know?    They never divorced.  They raised a family.  But still....I judged -- I thought and I wondered.  And why today did this couple come across my thought waves?       I believe it was the enemy -- trying just ANOTHER way to distract me.

THEN  I  felt the CHECK in my spirit and repented -- "what do people think about us?".

Covering - We covered SO much for so many years.

I quickly realized -again, HOW fast the enemy can sneak up on you - at it was not even an hour past church......seriously.    Tears flowed -- I would NOT want anyone to 'judge' me like that.  I want people to think of God's grace and mercy when  our names pop into their brains!

Praise GOD we fall under a God this evening -- today - HE  COVERED our sins.

Tonight's prayer is just for that -- covering..

LORD GOD - I pray that if there is a 'bad' covering happening between the couples we love and pray for - God uncover it -- reveal it - open the eyes of both so that a healing can begin.  Lord God,  I pray that they will BOTH lay down their lives -- and allow you to consume EVERY part  and then be covered by YOUR blood. 

 Lord I pray they will fight to SEEK you and learn to forgive....

Lord God - for that one couple in particular -- forgive me for judging and speculating --I know I already asked forgiveness of YOU for this, but Lord, thank you for grace and mercy that you always extend to me!  

 God I pray that their family and marriage is healthy and sound -- that the mistakes of the past - if they were true - are forgiven and I pray they have a RIGHT standing relationship with YOU right now - if not -- then I pray that their eyes will open too ...why YOU allowed me to think of them today - if it was  for YOUR purpose ---- thank you for teaching me and gently reminding me ....
I am just but a 'forgiven' sinner. 

 I was reminded today -- I am under your covering and we thankful for Your miracle of a 2nd chance. 

 Lord God for the couples I hold before you - God I pray that these prayers are reaching their ears...IN Jesus name, Amen. 

Casting Crowns - Prayers for Marriage - #20

This video shows the birth of Jesus -- his death on the cross and then it asks a question- WHAT are you doing America....?? And it shows the rapture of HIS church - in an instant  - we are taken up.

Unsure what you believe - whether we are caught up pre-trib or post-tribulation...I read the left behind books and have my own opinion -- but...

Yesterday was a day when I felt the enemy was a winning...and today - I have renewed HOPE...

God wins.

Today is Day #20 in my focused prayers for marriage - 1/2 way there -- My flesh really wants to stop - posting and praying -- as it seems like my prayers are MAKING things worse....

My flesh is growing weary and I know that I know - it is just an attack.
 I know this is just the enemy - he is a liar and he is trying his BEST to convince me that I am powerless --

I am not powerless -- I am a daughter of the KING -- my prayers ARE heard!

Today --with my prayers -- the bottom line is SALVATION.....

Lord -- I pray  the people that read this-- understand and know WHY you came and that you will come again.
Lord -- I pray that the married couples around me -- understand and know that their salvation is secure in YOU...as I do believe that if they will stop and rethink and relook and check themselves ...and their relationship with YOU -- and if it is right where it should be ....then the problems within the marriage CAN be solved -- with YOU...period.  

  God I pray they will fight for their family and their marriages! 

God I pray that in any circumstance -- YOUR good can be found and I pray that no matter the 'what it looks like'.....stuff....God -- YOU can change it!  

Lord -- I pray that the circle of people  around me -- would stop and make sure -- their relationship with YOU is RIGHT on target -- that if they would watch this video - they would know - 'they are not sleepin'...

I pray they don't miss out - on Your Grace and Mercy.  Amen.  

Prayer -- #19

Lord, today has been TOUGH.

Your word says that 'consider it pure joy' when we are persecuted for our faith....

That sucks.

Just saying.

Tonight's prayer is focused on my married pals but also for a loved one that is SO deceived!

God - tonight the words are this .....
        THIS is YOUR problem.....THEY need YOU to fix it..... SHE is messed up -- the enemy is a liar and I am TIRED of it 'seeming' like he gets the upper hand.  God I CALL upon ALL of YOUR best fighters....YOUR best warriors -- and I pray --  those doing the hurting -- hurt too --  I mean - I pray they would REALIZE that their actions and their sin - is causing consequences ....

those believing the lies...God I pray they are MISERABLE...

Those so deceived -- Lord, help me to show them love, even when I want to SMACK them.  

Not a 'pretty' prayer this eve Lord -- but YOU know - YOU  know my heart -- now I will retreat to my bedroom and read your word ....and remind myself that YOU win.  

God I pray they would FIGURE it out!
amen. 

Prayers for marriage -- sex #18 PG-13

Ok, I don't  really want to post about this -- but it seems to keep coming into our conversations and our prayer time.

I share this - and it is rather personal again-- but I believe someone needs to hear this tonight.  I pray if you are reading this, you will respect me and my family and  not speak about it in Publix - but if you are a woman and wish to speak to me more candidly? .....contact me!   I don't counsel with men -- you can contact my husband if you are a man.  And I really don't counsel -- I  listen,  I pray, and  then pray with you ....but anyway  ----

Like it or not - one of the FIRST questions and discussions we had to have when we started some professional counsel was the 'logistics of sex'.   We had been separated and then  we were back under one roof.  We wanted to try to save our  marriage.

 At our first session  - Dr. Connie began....'Sex....How often was it occurring?  Is it still?  Is it something you want ..Michelle?   Brendan.....?'  And then the 'big kid' discussions began.   And when we have our 'check up' appointments now every 4-5 months -- THAT is the very first question she asks us both - it is a thermometer!

Sex is a thermometer in a marriage.  God created the act and the pleasure that comes with that act.
And I will be blunt - if it is not good -- then see a doctor and do what needs to be done -- to make it good again - seriously ......God did not create 'OK'.....HE created 'FANTASTIC!'........  Just saying...


Women's attention goes to kids, finances, emotional stress, sickness,  and strife - we are constantly juggling.  A week can pass...a month...even months and a woman can be  pretty much 'ok'.  Then when a disaster hits -- she seems to be surprised.   Woman have sex out of affection.  So why have sex with a man that is not being affectionate -- or making you angry, disappointed, overworked,  or unsupported.  For the men - sex is a pure need.   Everything gets clouded if that need is not met -- but I also believe that those roles can be reversed.  Why wouldn't the enemy use sex to steal, kill, and destroy and break up a home - a family......THAT is what he does ---

We went to a sexologist/family crisis therapist.  She is wonderful and she loves God and is pro - marriage, but she was also very realistic and forthright -there were many sessions where I did not like her - at all!    I won't or can't get into everything. It is tough, opening your heart and baring your hurts to another -- believing that maybe perhaps she can give some insight and yet, many times she just opened new areas of conversation and perspectives.  But, she taught us some very good tools to communicate better - and speak to each other with respect.  And...   I am being honest - sex did not seem to be our problem -- and yet, we still had to discuss it and set new ground rules  as, we were trying to mend a severed bond.

There is a book called Love and Respect that is VERY good -- and it talks about the ' crazy cycle'.  There is a book called "Everyman's battle"  and there is an "Every woman's battle"...and then there is a book by DAve Carder called "torn asunder"  --- all EXCELLENT resources for a Christian man or woman trying to seek some help and counsel when a marriage is in trouble.  But I would seek YOUR own Pastor and his wife -- ASAP for guidance and direction!

 Anyway -- back to the 'sex'....

If you and your husband are not having sex.....there is something wrong -- period.  End of story.
It is what it is.  I am just saying.   Unless you have both decided to abstain for a time - for prayer and fasting on some matter --  God's word says,  "do not deprive one another except with the consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: and come together again so that Satan does not temp you because of your lack of self-control"  ( 1 Corinthians 7: 4-5)   Sex between a man and a woman is God's idea -- HIS idea....Sometimes, we really can't keep doing the SAME stuff all the time.  I mean, the definition of insanity is 'doing the same thing over and getting the same results'.  In our case, we had been married 23 years ....and there was a break in our marriage vows - so we had to start over.  And we had to rethink and re look at many aspects of our marriage and our 'routines'.

Now -- because of that heartache and crisis of faith - I had a little more motivation to change it up and see things from a different perspective.  And I was open to WHAT God wanted to change in me.

Now - the MAJORITY  of those  changes had NOTHING to do with sex --but sex - as I said it an important part of being one.   One flesh.

So, tonight's prayer is for a couple -- to guard their sex life if it is good, or maybe to restore it if it is bad.  It is a prayer that I found in my "Power of a praying wife" book -- and I adjusted it a bit.

 I am going to pray it and say it..... to the couples that God has laid heavy on our hearts -- but truth be told, God revealed another couple to us again - that need prayer.

 So, I have come to conclusion - that I may of had '3' couples in mind -- but God is using this on a bigger scale.  For that -- I am happy to be candid or real - as long as it can help save marriage -- I will share what I need to share.

Lord God, I pray you will bless the sexuality in our marriage, and God I seek great fulfillment for him as well as me.  Lord, restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced.  And Lord, protect it from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest.  I pray that they make time for one another -- I pray that we will make time for each other..... that they communicate their true feelings openly and remain sensitive to what each other needs.
 Lord, that they would keep themselves sexually pure in mind and body and close the door to anything  lustful or illicit that seeks  to encroach upon them.  Deliver them from the bondage of past mistakes, remove from their thoughts the effects of any sexual misconduct in thought or deed that happened outside of the marriage bed or prior to the marriage -- TAKE away anyone or anything that would lead us into temptation or infidelity - and help us to abstain from sexual immorality !!!
--- I pray they will desire each other -- no one else.  And I pray that EACH of them will figure out what needs to be done to be attractive to each other -- Show them both - HOW to be the kind of partner the other needs. God I pray they won't use the 'sex' thing as a tool for manipulation or withhold it for selfish reasons...God I pray that they would seek YOU and be ONE flesh - worshiping you in every act of love.  Amen.
And Lord, if they need to seek a sexologist - Lord, God -- give them the courage - remind them there is NO shame in being honest and seeking help.  God I pray their pride would NOT get in the way - there is NO shame to admit - we are messed up and need help -- then YOU can get the glory.  Lord, I pray that if there is hidden sin - reveal it - NOW in that couple - so that the healing can then begin. Amen.  

Prayer for my marriage - #17

Merry Christmas.

Today the world stops to recognize that God gave us a gift.
I pray the ALL the ones around me can tell -- that God's gift is .....my Savior.

Today's prayer is for my marriage -- specifically.
A Christmas Love letter/prayer to my man.

But -- you can say it for your man -- or change it a bit for your wife ......

I thank God for the gift of marriage.   My prayer today is mixed into HIS word.

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.    Lord, if I write for others or just write to be heard......If I speak to others and share what I know about You ...and YET...I can't show YOUR love to them -- my words...my actions are nothing......² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.   Lord, this passage is used so often in ceremonies and sermons and most often it is used when one is speaking of the love between a man and a woman but this passage is about our love for YOU...³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. So, Lord, as I read Your word and I reflect on it -- Lord, if I don't possess YOUR love within me...these words...these blogs...and my actions are really nothing....So Lord, I pray that these words...these blogs...and my actions are of YOU - I love you Lord, and I Fear you - that does not mean I am scared - it means I HATE what you HATE and I LOVE what YOU LOVE...I want to please You.  Lord, I come to You now and pray for my own marriage and our lives...our love for each other and for You...

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  God, I pray that I am patient with Bren and that I always show him kindness even when there is tension or even when the enemy seems to be attacking...Lord, I pray that I am never envious of his actions...his time needed with You ...or any past thing that could cause division.  Lord, Your word says love does not boast -- but I boast about him...he is Yours and he loves You and I LOVE how much he seeks You and I know that is one of the reasons we are in this happy season -so I will boast to YOU about him....I will boast that I am proud of him...I will boast that he continues to SEEK you...and I am proud of that.  However, Lord, I pray that I never become so proud and arrogant to believe that it is because of 'me' or anything-- it is ALL YOUR doing Lord! - Thank you!   ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Lord, I pray that my actions don't dishonor Bren in any way - I am especially mindful of what I write on this blog - I want to be real and transparent and yet, I don't wish to cause any more hurt, cause any grudge or give the enemy a foothold - when I share a personal story, I pray that it would be to illustrate YOUR glory and not to cause hurt for anyone....Lord, I Pray my actions are NOT self-seeking and God -- the enemy so wants to easily anger me at times and I praise You Lord, that I know YOU fight for me and so any  anger usually becomes so  subdue.. God that can only be because YOU are continually changing us.  Lord, we rejoice in Your word and Your truth -- I so love it when we read Your word together and discuss it and God I believe YOU planted that spark within me - to forgive and to remember ALL of our good in our past....so -- I had hope in him and I had trust in him - even when I shouldn't of.  I had the hope that YOU would restore even when it looked bad and even when he said - he did not want to be married.... Lord, I continue to ask you to protect our marriage - protect the trust I have - protect the delight we have in each other and protect our hopes....preserve us Lord.   And Lord, just continue to teach us -- to be better for each other. 
⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.   God,  I so easily repeat this often - Love never fails ...human love does fail -- YOUR love does not -- God, I pray that each of us will continue to walk within YOUR love and within YOUR path -- then the love we have for each other is bonded  with YOU -- and then we become one flesh in YOU...and when all is done - we will be with You... Our completeness comes with YOU!!  ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.  Lord, thank you - I have faith in my husband and hope in him and I love him -- cause he loves YOU...and I know that YOU are indeed the perfect husband - thank you for loving me through Brendan -- may our lives be used by YOU -- to help others -- experience and receive this JOY -- that two can have when they become ONE.....OH Lord - that YOU get the glory - 
Amen!