Yesterday was just a day. I mean, I felt so totally overwhelmed as I have been working at the insurance office and yesterday was only Day #2 of my 'week' filling in for our personal lines manager but I was bombarded. 1. Cause I know much but not THAT much. 2. People are just messy, I mean, I felt like I was fixing fires all day and never had the chance to just do my work that needed to be done. And 3. it is summer and it was a yucky rainy day and I wanted to be outside! Or at least at the movies. Instead I was at the office. And, 4. I was feeling sort of unloved. Sort of. I don't like being the 'manager'.
But....that was really a good thing, I mean working at the insurance office. I am so glad I have been able to help and be a part of the agency this summer, but it put me into a ...I WANT school mode. I mean, I went to college to be a teacher, not a manager or a person that deals with the public. However, that is where God has me this summer. I have been there ( at the office ) every summer, but my role has always been sort of in the back, never really in the fore-front and we are doing some new things at the agency and both Brendan and I are really trying our best to be there, all the time, and really help out. On one hand it has been really great, cause we both feel like it is 20+ years ago when we started and we were needed. But on the other hand, with more responsibility comes more stress. Praise God I do get to go to school come August and I won't have to deal with this on a daily basis, but I guess I just was overwhelmed.
I don't think I spoke to my children but for 5 min. I ate lunch by myself, HP and BP had doctor's appointments. I don't think I even spoke to Brendan about stuff other than stuff for the ins. office. There wasn't any 'couple' time ...there wasn't any ..'pool' time...and there was no time for me to stop and memorize my scripture challenge. Therefore, the Enemy, of course, sets in and begins to bug me.
Michelle, You are neglecting your memorization....
He is too busy for you again.....
You are on this path again where you both work so hard and you go your separate ways...
You really are not a licensed agent and should not be making that decision...
You are not going to be able to keep this up come school time....
You have not sent out the invites you should of on Monday for your Blessings party...
You have not dusted in a week...
You shrunk your brand new NIKE shirt and not you won't be able to wear it...
Your pants are way too tight, you must of gained weight again...but you are eating nothing...
You are not involved in a cell group yet....
You are behind in your bible study...
What happened to that Kelly Mintor one...
Can you hear it? At lunch, I slept - depressed.
In the afternoon, I got so busy I did not have time to seek HIM, but I did pray. Then all of a sudden it was 5:30...5:45....6:45 and I was the ONLY one at the office.
BP and HP were going to soccer, so they grabbed McDonald's and fed me. They called, they were so sweet, they told me to step outside the office at 6:30 and they literally drove by and gave me supper and remembered my favorites. Brendan remembered my favorites. Fries, hamburger with extra pickels and then 1/3 left of a rolo McFlurry. ....sweet. That was a good thing.
They got home after me. I got home around 8:45. I called Linda. I asked for prayer. I put my Beth Moore DVD on and HE spoke.
I continually am reminded that when we SEEK HIM, HE is there. However, how comforting it is to know that when we are still so busy and allow our thoughts to wander...HE is still RIGHT there.
I knew I was being bombarded. I knew it was the Enemy making me feel defeated. I knew that. So, I battled and fought back. My flesh just wanted a pity party, but I KNOW better now!
Today, this verse jumped:
To the roots of the mountains I sand down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the pit, O LORD My God. Jonah 2.6
Yesterday the world seemed to swallow me up.
Today....HE awoke me this am, at 5 - refreshed and ready to go. I prayed.
Today...HE awoke me, happy and knowing I am highly esteemed and loved and HE is so proud of me.
Today is a new day.
Today....hey, Satan...today, I have already worked on some memorization.
Hey Satan, today I know he did not forget me, he was not too busy, he remembered McDonalds
Hey Satan, we are on the same path, going in the same direction
Hey Satan, I am very smart.
Hey Satan, you are right, I can't do things, but HE can.
Hey Satan, the invites are done.
Hey Satan, the dust will always be there.
Hey Satan, the Nike shirt actually wasn't shrunk, somehow the dryer shut off and all the clothes were still damp when I got home.
Hey Satan, the pants were too tight, but I know why now
Hey Satan, I am in a cell group, Linda is my pastor ( via cell phone and text messages
Hey Satan, I did my bible study and God knew I needed to watch the DVD that day - HIS timing is perfect.
Hey Satan, the Kelly Minter one will come next, it is not going anywhere.
Hey Satan.....I am not going to grumble at the obstacles that overwhelmed me yesterday, today is a new day. I listened to my husband say last night, " I am trusting God, HE is going to move this mountain or move us"...Hey Satan, you are defeated and you are a liar.
Our lives are a daily struggle cause people are messy, this world is messy. If we had it perfect - we would be in heaven. This is what makes life interesting. Today is a new day, praise God.
And you know wha? When I got out of bed last night at 2am, as I had to pee....I went to wipe and noticed ( sorry - being personal ) that I had my period. OH MY....THAT was the reason my pants were too tight. I had been craving chocolate, but it should of arrived next week. THAT is why my emotions were heightened. And my period sort of started with a burst.
Ok, can you get past the personal part now...sorry, trying to connect the God moment here. ...
I believe God planned it that way. Like HE held it at bay...until later, after I had the chance to listen to Beth, after I had the chance to be prayed for by Linda, after I had the chance to just have JESUS time. I believe God just reminded me that HE is my healer, HE is my comfort and going to HIM, seeking the prayer I needed was what I needed to know and realized again. I needed that reminder. I did not need to blame it on "oh...I got my period, no wonder I had a crappy day". God knew what the Enemy was going to torment me with yesterday and HE knew my emotions and my hormones were already off, but I didn't. HE knew what the Enemy was going to reveal, but HE also knew that I needed to seek HIM for everything and not just shrug it off as ....it is just THAT time of the month.
I mean, I know I need to mark that down on the calendar and be aware and yes, there were some phyiscal symptons as well...but, we must walk with HIM daily, moment by moment, minute by minute and period by period....and not blame the enemy or our periods...but SEEK HIM. Life is messy. Period. ( There is a play on words, now I do feel like Beth Moore! )
So, I guess this is the main point...no problem is too small..no pit is too small or too big...
To the roots of the mountains I sand down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the pit, O LORD My God. Jonah 2.6
To the roots of the mountains I sand down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the pit, O LORD My God. Jonah 2.6
HIS word is what redeems us and makes us knew, HIS blood covers us. HE has it covered. I knew HE had it covered last night when I asked for prayer from my Pastor, but it felt good to hear her pray and it felt great this am to awake and know that today was a new day.
Don't be afraid to SEEK HIM...to ask for prayer, don't just shrug it off as ...it was just my time of the month.....
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