Prayer 29 - Prayers for a marriage...I want to quit.

Being honest -- I have been on a prayer vigil all week - getting ready for Girls with Swords  ( bible study at church ) and  4 hours  prayer/crying at the active shooter drill on Monday  -- well, I am at a point this evening where I just don't want to post - I want to quit.  And quite frankly - I am tired of praying.

It is my flesh.  It wants to quit.

Yesterday I was just too tired to post.

Tonight - I can't sleep -- I sent several prayers to people via emails.  I so enjoy writing prayers and then I 'say' them of course too -- but those were not prayers I can share on the blog.

So,  tonight my blog post #29 is simple - God - heal  - them.  Period.  In Jesus name.  Amen. 

I am spent.   I just want to quit for a few days.

I found this prayer by Lisa Tykerest.  I am not sure if I spelled her name right.  But...this was/is me.

Lord God, Whatever my circumstances, I will find reasons to praise You.  Even when I feel disappointed by what life brings.  I will trust YOU to bring Good out of the bad- No matter what. I will hold on to You and Your truths. My deepest desire is to have more of You in me. And IF I believe that - then I will never be disillusioned.  Thank You Lord, for this beautiful reality this eve. Amen.

There has been a lot of disappointments this week.
I do realize that some of the hurts are because of my own actions or the actions of another.
I also claim that some of the disappointments are just life.
And I also know - this is an important week for me - the start of Girls with Swords --and I am being attacked.  I am.  Just am.  I know it.
But my flesh still wants to just hide.  Cry.  Get away.

And my soul mate's sensitivity chip was malfunctioning.  Actually - he is being bombarded by the enemy and I believe that God is allowing some tests  -- and it hurts to watch him be 'pruned' a bit but also attacked.  But - there needs to be ONLY ONE holy spirit in this home and that Holy Spirit can speak to my man.  I have enough listening to do. I need to get out of the way.  

I tried to take care of 'what' I could take care of.  Prayed about the rest.  Believed that HE has every need provided - and I know HE does.

God did give me directions  for the remaining prayers to finish these 40 days - strong.  I believe that tomorrow I will be better.

I know I was to pray for marriages -- cause again, today, another was attacked - and another was taken advantage of.  Which reminded me -- of course SATAN will attack the families -- divided we fall.

 I think my flesh wants to just hide and believe -- NO MORE.....where are all the June Cleaver's?   Where are the Claire Huxtable's?  Where are the godly men?  

But, as the prayer I found stated -- I will praise YOU- no matter what.

So,

Lord, I praise you for the women coming tomorrow to our bible study.
Lord,  I praise you for providing this  ( bible study ) and the planning and how it has come together!
Lord I praise you for my godly man.
Lord I praise you that I CAN pray and believe when others don't.
Lord I praise you that MANY do seek and search you out and they encourage me and pray for me.
Lord I praise you that YOUR word is glorified on this blog.
Lord I praise you  - and believe that even though a few marriages around me look bleak and dim...I will NOT give up hope!
Lord,  I praise you for loving us THAT much to die for us....YOU truly love us - unconditionally.  

Lord, I praise you that -- YOU win.
Lord, I praise you that even when my words are few - I can trust that Jesus is interceding for me and MY heart is being heard -- many words or few - YOU hear!

Amen.

Lord - I love you.
PS Lord, speak to that heart -- God in Jesus name, I pray they see HOW they are hurting YOU!