Prayer #23 --For a Sister in Christ and in a Crisis -- Beth Moore's Prayer

 It was the holiday season.  It was 2009.  I had been in a very hard year in 2008 and 2009 was not looking much better.  In September of 2009 the movie Fire Proof came out.   The  plot, the characters,  and the script HIT me straight in the face.  There was a crisis within my marriage.  I didn't exactly know what, but it was time to face it and I could not ignore it.

Life went on.  At that time, I was following a woman's blog.  She was new to blogging and she posted about every 3-4 days.  It was a Life Line to God.  God used it.  This prayer - this is her written prayer that was posted just before the holidays of 2009.  It became a prayer I prayed and shared.

Within weeks after she posted this, she blogged a  surgery,  as her doctors thought she had cancer. She is cancer free and there is a whole other aspect to those blogs - probably even to this prayer, but on the day she posted it -- it HIT me.  It was written for me. 


 - God reminded me of that  prayer and so I am sharing today.

There is a lady whose husband came to her and wanted  forgiveness....she is experiencing a new "season" in this marriage.  She has been married over 30 years  -- I am thrilled, as my hubs and I have been interceding for some time now but she is still prayerfully cautious.  There is MUCH work to be done. 

I believe she is leaving one season and beginning a new one -- and Beth Moore wrote this prayer in the end of 2009.  You can tell she is moving from one year to the next --

I will still keep writing these prayer posts, as if you have been following them, they are for one that needs a miracle and change of heart in her man.  But these prayers, I believe, are hitting others as well.

But today -- this one is for the precious women of God that heard from last night -- I am believing that indeed she will allow Abba Father to lead her into this new season where true restoration will be realized!   In Jesus name.  Amen.  



My Dearest Abba Father,
I’ve lived long enough to know that any 12-month period of time on Planet Earth winds a pathway through thicket and thorns. It’s just too long a period of time not to get hurt or offended. I also know that You have tucked many joys in the oncoming year and I don’t want to miss them because I can’t quit obsessing over what’s hard. 

You’ve gone to measurable lengths in the last year to show me how the enemy of my soul operates in one specific area: he can’t block You from blessing Your children so he tries to block Your children from enjoying it. I do not want him to cheat me of reaping from anything rich You send my way this year. Even the treasures hidden in darkness. As this year ends and a new one begins, I am so thankful that I have Your Spirit without limit in my life and that, with You, change in a long pattern really is possible. You’ve done it before in my life. Come do it again. 

I am asking You in particular, Abba Father, to run to my aid in that first moment when an opportunity for offense happens and urge me by Your Holy Spirit to head into a thought-loop that spirals upward rather than downward. Simply put, help me to get over things fast. Honestly, Lord, sometimes I just make life harder than it has to be. Some things that wound me aren’t even about me. Help me to see where I’m jumping into somebody else’s loop and to quit getting hung by my own. 

I choose joy in resting this petition at Your feet, Lord, and I refuse self-condemnation or fruitless regret. You never would have brought this to the forefront and called for it in prayer if You didn’t have something good in mind. You began this work. Now come and take it to the next level. I’m excited about it, Lord, and see a glimpse of liberty on the horizon. 

Thank You, Father.

Prayer #22 - Prayers for a Sister in Crisis - Keep Walking

 Keep walking by Toby Mac plays on my playlist as I begin my day.  Dragging myself out of bed to go 'walking' and moving the catchy beat and fast lyrics have me singing, dancing, and waking up but the words -- penetrate.

 Today's prayer is ----the lyrics from the song with a little extra added in.

toby mac - Video link - Keep Walking


 Lord, this prayer is going to read today as if the women on the other end of this blog is praying for herself...

Lord, today was Another heartbreak day
Feels like you’re miles away
Don’t even need no shade
When your sun don’t shine, shine  - My sun is not shining today Lord.  I want the sun to shine!

Too many passin’ dreams
Roll by like limousines
It’s hard to keep believin’
When they pass you by and by  - Lord, I have been "at" this struggle for far too long.  Or at least I believe it is far too long.  I want it to end -- I want some closure, I want to see a light in the end of the tunnel, but I also want to be in Your will....so I wait. 

I know your heart been broke again  --  Lord, it seems my heart has stayed broke -
I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet - No Lord, maybe my prayers have been answered -- maybe this is the NEW NORMAL and this has me walking with you so close ----
I know you’re feeling like you got nothing left  - Lord, I do feel so drained!  
Well, lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet so

Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet  - I am moving Lord, I am trying --

Echoin’ inside your head
Are the words that your sweet momma said,
“shoot for the moon, my dear”
So you took aim out of this atmosphere
Between high stakes and pump fakes
You’re feelin’ like you can’t buy a break
I can hold your hand, but I can’t turn your eyes to freedom - I know where my freedom comes from Lord, its from You and You have been holding my hand, but that shoot for the moon comment -- I still want to shoot for the moon -- I want All of Your best for me.   I don't feel this is Your best - yet!

I know your heart been broke again
I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet
I know you’re feeling like you got nothing left
Well, lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet so  - I realize the end is looking closer and closer - his words are few and he does not seem to want me.  God -- help.  Lord, I pray for my marriage and believe You have me sitting here -- reading prayers, writing prayers, and even sharing my heart and yet -- it still seems like there is something yet -- what Lord?   

Lord, help me....

Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on

Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet

Hold on, hold on
Lord ain’t finished yet
Hold on, hold on
He’ll get you through this
Hold on, hold on
These are the promises
I never will forget
I never will forget [x2]

I know your heart been broke again
I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet
it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet so

Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet..

Lord, for the women that will read this -- 
Lord, for the one whom I already prayed for who is still before you and quiet - but still hurting.  I stated and believed that by the end of this series of prayers - inspired for her - there will be victory in her marriage - victory in the blessed assurance her husband is saved and victory with You.  That she will know that she knows - she is RIGHT where You have her!  In Jesus name, Amen  

Prayer #21 -- For a Sister in Christ in Crisis. - Dietrick Bonhoeffer

My handsome hubby -- reads.  He reads a lot.  He got a book in Colorado this summer and finished it today -- Michael Van Dyke's "The Story of   Dietrich Bonhoeffer" .  

As Brendan was speaking about the book and sharing with me some of his quotes and something he wrote into his journal I became very curious and thought -- this book is one I need to read. 

With that I will add it to my list -- however, as I paged through, I read what Bren had highlighted and this came to be: 

Dietrich was  in prison - and I am quoting page 161- 

He was praying more and more than every before, yet he felt no special sense of God's presence in the prison.  He only felt his responsibility to be a man of God and, if necessary, to suffer where God had placed him.  He was starting to think that true faith did not involve feelings at all -- that it was instead the God-given ability to respond in love to the world as it was.  Faith was no escape hatch from the power of evil men: true faith often placed one directly in the grip of evil.  Hadn't Jesus Himself proved a demonstration of this truth?  

This has stopped me -- in my tracks.
"he felt no special sense of God's presence in the prison" ---


Whoa -- 

I felt that tonight's prayer would be this -- and I pray that this meaning of this quote from one of the world's  most brilliant minds  would some how speak to me...to you ...to anyone...



Lord, so often I come to you asking for something to be done -- something to be moved  or something to happen.  Lord, so often I come to you and remind you that I 'don't feel anything'....Lord, this book will be read when you get me time, but this quote is for me and another this eve.....

Lord, forgive us ...Faith is no escape hatch.  Some of the women I pray for -- don't have the escape hatch from the evil within their lives.  

Lord, forgive me....is my faith THIS strong?   Would I have as much faith if You had not provided a miracle within my marriage and we are now as one again?  

I want to believe Lord that I would have....

Lord, for those women this eve -- that are facing this question -- that they feel the responsibility to be a man of God -- a woman of God.   Lord, speak -- IN Jesus name...Amen

Prayer 20 - For a sister in Crisis -- Asking for prayer.

   Do you ask for prayer? 

Sometimes our pride gets in the way -- well, it probably gets in the way more often than we really realize.

I think it is easier to  sometimes think our request is not that big of a deal.
I think it can get easy to think that "they will think I am too needy".
I think the enemy is the one who deters out thoughts and casts doubt within our ears and so we feel we are not worthy to ask for prayer.
I also think the enemy is the biggest obstacle  -- he is the one that helps us think we shouldn't ask ---

---Or it is too private to ask for help.

Often, we may feel like we make the same request over and over.

Or maybe, you spend a lot of time praying for others and little for yourself.  Perhaps you feel that is a bit arrogant to seek prayer for yourself.

As you read my blogs - you know and have heard me state that sometimes, all I can do is pray in my prayer language.

 My words are few and I am tired of praying and trying to think of the words to say ---
------praise God I can come to Him with full authority and confidence that He hears my heart and my head and I don't have to worry that Satan hears it  -- as he can't.    Our prayer language goes straight to our Father.  It is a heavenly language -- therefore, Satan can't understand it.    That does give me peace.


On Sunday, I had a BIG request.  I went to God in my quiet time and at church but I wanted to seek a pal and I did not.  I felt like..."I have asked them for prayer on this subject before -- I don't want to bother them".  

I knew that was pride and the enemy getting in the way.  But, I was so angry about a particular subject/prayer request that I literally went to bed crying.

Silent crying is ---always -- not good.
So this AM - I awoke  -- upset - not good.  And when one asked how I was --
--what did I reply??    "I am fine"  -- "All good". 



It's one of those days.  I did work this out with the Lord - as the day progressed. Meanwhile I snapped at a few and felt the entire world needed to be nice to me.

 As I write this -- I know, I will seek the forgiveness I need to  -- and build that armor back up on my self.

As I edit this now -- I did.  

I  let the enemy's arrow pierce   my shield.  And I got mad at God --

I praise God that I realized this in a matter of a 1/2 of a day -- and not brew or fuss for days and even a week -- but, the enemy does not stop.


I blog this today -- just as a reminder ---

It is OK to seek counsel and ask for prayer -- even if you feel it is the "upteenth" time!
It is OK to seek a prayer warrior for a prayer request that was showing victory but has not gotten bent out of shape again.

It's OK.

It's Just OK.

This verse brought comfort to me and as I confessed and sought God for forgiveness for being mad at Him.... peace returned.  Quickly.

Today's prayer -- simply READ Chapter 8 of Romans.  And ask Jesus to intercede. In Jesus Name.   

Life Through the Spirit

8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you^[a] free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,^[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.^[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
⁹ You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life^[d] because of righteousness. ¹¹ And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of^[e] his Spirit who lives in you.
¹² Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. ¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.^[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,^[g] Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Present Suffering and Future Glory

¹⁸ I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that^[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
²² We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³ Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[i] have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. ³⁰ And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

More Than Conquerors

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[j]

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

AMEN! 

Prayer 19 - Prayers for a Sister in Crisis - Because He loves me!

Psalm 91 is a treasures psalm with the recent storms this was a psalm many looked to in God's Word for comfort and perhaps a 'guarantee' that He would protect the tent.  ( Our home)   I admit - I did!  

In times of crisis fear can come so quickly!   And back to the Irma stuff -- I will say it again, it is not the worry of losing stuff ....it was the knowledge that the work AFTERWARDS was going to be LONG and hard. 

This prayer is for those dealing with the after ---

This prayer is for the one who is trying to just keep her head above the water as it seems her marriage is not getting any better ---

This prayer is for the one who has experienced great victory in her marriage and yet her husband is still not looking to Jesus and believing he is the apple of His eyes ---

This prayer is for the daughter that loves her parents dearly but she does not have the blessed hope and knowledge to know that they call Him as their Lord --

This prayer is for the one that does not realize heaven has started here on earth when you are in a relationship with Christ -- 

This prayer is for the one with grown children who continue to choose the lies of the enemy and live their lives according to the world or what they feel is best -- 

This prayer is for the one beginning to rebuild her life after divorce and it has been a long time for so much -- 

This prayer is for the one who is so hurt, she can't see any hope in her marriage -- 

This prayer is for the one who recently gave up completely as a divorce papers  were literally laid in her lap -- 

This prayer is for the one who realized that her words need to be few -- that you Lord are responsible for saving her husband, she is only to release him and pray and believe --
 
This prayer is for the mother wanting her child  to desperately see that Jesus is the only answer --

This one is for woman whom 'started' these prayer blogs -- today, may she read these verses of Psalm 91 and be blessed.....



Psalm 91 verses 14- 16 state: 

Lord, I pray this am that she realizes You Love her and  THAT is enough.  Lord, as Your Word says You will rescue her.  Lord I pray she knows that.  It says You will protect her because she acknowledges Your name.  God -- I know she does.  Lord, that she will continue to praise You and feel Your protection even when her husband is mean  spirited,  ugly, and hurtful or maybe just when he quiet remarks cut right to the bone .  Lord it says when we call upon You - You will answer.  I trust that -- may the one reading this trust that as well.  Lord I pray she will honor You with her life and I pray You will honor her with a long life -- to see the glory come about from this present circumstance ...and see that You Win!!  Lord it says You will satisfy him.. You will satisfy her... Oh God -- satisfy me...Satisfy her....Satisfy us...   Lord, show us Your glory - IN Jesus Name.  Amen. 

Day 17 and 18, Prayers for a Sister In Christ in Crisis. Being Obedient

If you are reading these -- I apologize as I did not post Day 17.  I just couldn't. - the enemy would of used it for his good.

You see, there was some strife and frustration within my own four walls last night and if I got on the computer and went typing -

 I was obedient and did an act of service for my own husband.   Say what??  ;)

Ok - now that I have your attention -- let me share a bit more:

Last year at the JM Love Life Conference, Beth Moore spoke and said something -- 

Authenticity with all--

 Transparency with Most --

--and Intimacy with Some!! 

So, I am transparent.  And I am transparent with all.  I just am.   That is the way God made me-- if you get to know me and you get close, I get transparent.   I wear my feelings on my sleeve and on my face -- you can tell!!   So often I am misdiagnosed ...if that makes sense, as someone will think I am mad at them and honestly -- I am just focused on another task that I just don't see  that I gave you the resting b___ face or that I somehow gave you a look or even that I seemed to ignore you. 

 I do apologize.  

If you hang around me long enough, you will hear me say, "get over yourself".    And I say that to MYSELF.   And, by the way -- if I do seem to ignore you - call me.  Text me.  Speak up.  Time is too short.  I released the "people pleasing" stronghold to my Lord a year ago.  It is hard, I don't want to hurt or not show respect, but it was such a stronghold and I can't deal.  I need affirmation from God and He alone...and that has to be it. 

For SO long  - I was WAY to centered on myself and now, that still happens -- but I am more aware.  

Back to being transparent - I usually share something that is too  too much, and I get myself in trouble and it hurts .....but I am continually learning.    And I must be authentic.   Prayerfully!   But I realize there is some stuff that YOU Just don't SAY!!   Intimacy with Some!! 

Writing a BLOG or as my dear pastor friend says..."writing epistles" is something that I enjoy, it is my therapy,  and I do believe God uses it for others.  I don't expect my closest  friends, my daughter,  or even my hubby to read each one, I don't even ask;  but  when I know they read one  and it touched them or they respond to  me  with verbal praise -- it is a sweet blessing and affirmation  -- but that is NOT why I write.

  ( It USED to be why..... I mean, seriously, and I have said this before, I had a stronghold of going to this site and recording how many hits it had and how many read it!!)    By the Way, I do have some blogs read by my "editors" before I actually publish them -- to make sure I am being skillful when I type and that it is Holy Spirit.    You see in a time of DEEP crisis for me -- I searched and God brought me to a few blogs -- that spoke LIFE to me.  And reading the hearts of those ladies...ministered to me.  So I am going to believe that mine will be that light for another. 

 I digress....  Blogging  is something that gives me a time to journal and I guess it also puts everything out there.   It gives me perspective too.  That is why I  try to make sure I am not speaking negatives nor am I sharing  my dirty laundry!!   When you step out in faith and begin to truly speak life into others, serve others, and become an intercessor and counseling ear -- it TAKES time.  Just as I would put my kids before my husband when they were young....it is very easy for me to put others in front of my husband.  

Now - mind you -- it is not a pity party for him today on this blog...he had a rough day.  I am just going to tell you -- please say a prayer.  He has been dealing with a tooth,  had to have bone graph surgery --$$ -- twice and then the implant process.  All  was going very well, with much prayer,  but yesterday when the dentist could not get the implant to stick --  the possibility that another surgery will be needed was the straw that broke the camel's back.  Our teeth are important -- Brendan's smile is something that attracted me to him way back in 1981.... in the 9th grade!!   And you may read this and say,  REALLY?? But  there was much disappointment and worry last night and we prayed, and  he was  in pain.   He was also very irritable.  So here is the transparency part --   seeing me counsel or spending time on the phone with a woman in crisis  would of been something the enemy used against me and us.  So, I made him dessert... got him some chocolate milk and "good drugs" and then proceeded to spend the next 3 hours ironing his shirts.  Upstairs, away from him, in prayer for him and watching mindless TV.  

 Yep -- please don't judge me, but that is what I figured  I needed to do.  If he would of heard the tap tap tap on the computer keys - there would of been a "discussion".  Please don't think ill of him -- or me.  Marriage is hard -- when two people really truly live to meet the needs of the other instead of themselves....it is hard.  

However, in what I thought was the BEST thing to do -- he really wanted something else and I failed to recognize it. 

 So when he shut off all the lights and went to bed, I got offended -- !! And I spoke it out.  "Are you really just doing to bed?"    In my head, I explained --  I just ironed  YOUR 15 shirts.  

  Oh Lord, Please Help me...as I share this "little petty spat".... but I want to convey to the women reading this that have a hubby --- to seek God  and ask the Holy Spirit to lead!    I did seek God, and I truly felt that ironing was what was best, but I admit - I did not ask God, "what else could I do for him?".   Or "Lord, am I missing something?"   As I just figured this was what would make him happy as he had just said that morning..."now I have to iron another shirt".  

I guess I am being very transparent on the blog today -- cause I know many look at me and think I have it all together and that we have this PERFECT marriage and we don't have it figured out.  We are smarter now -- have some better  basic communication practices in place to STOP when we know there is a danger...or when the enemy is working on over time to steal, kill, and destroy -- or even distract.......but, I wanted to be transparent. 

 My husband needed physical attention - sex.  There I said it ....and ...well... I was just frustrated from being snapped at back at 4.30 in the afternoon because of a different subject and well....I .....um..... ok.  I am stopping.  Cause I think you get my point.  It is hard to show some loving to your man...when you feelings are hurt.  I see it so often -- God created men differently and their intimacy is sex.  Ours...as women....is all the emotions.  

When we were separated -- I longed for the day when he would want me.   Longed so much that I allowed other idols to meet a need.  Some of the women I have been interceding for are estranged from their husbands  and LONG to have that physical contact and touch....but they are being obedient to their Lord.    God has told me on several occasions -- "get dressed up and show him the attention he craves".   And some of those times, I have argued with God.   Some times I have had to ask God to change my heart and attitude so I can be loving.  Many times....many times... because I was obedient and listened - the BIGGEST blessing was for me!    Ok -- I just read that again and think -- someone could misinterpret this.  So I think it's time to stop.   No marriage is perfect -- but sex and the frequency of it -- is important.    

However -- Sex has become something that is no longer sacred.  It seems it is no longer a big deal to move in with your boyfriend, baby daddy,  or girlfriend, or baby momma and then, expect to be blessed??   This is such an oxymoron.  This topic -- well -- I may have  to stop  here.   This blog maybe should be tagged to those series of prayers I wrote for Parents of Adult children!!  

We have taken the blessing of sex and abused it - simply abused it.  Men and women. 

 In heaven, one day -- everyone will be held accountable.  Girls will be as well as boys... Men as well as women.  God has asked that sex be for the marriage bed.  Period.  Anyone ballsy enough to try and explain why its "ok " for now.... "as we are just trying to get to know each other" - is DEAD wrong.  Children conceived out of wedlock already start the world with the enemy attacking them.  It is so hard to see it ....especially when that child becomes an adult.  I thank God for the ability to rebuke and take authority over those generational curses and turn it around for His purposes. 

 Maybe I am venting a bit too much -- better quit -- but seriously ladies and moms.... speak life and truth to your children.  IT is OK to let them know that living together outside of marriage is NOT in the bible, nor God's plan and foolishly thinking it can be justified IS  just wrong.  I do believe as parents, we will be held accountable for NOT speaking up as well.  

Brendan told me about how he was reading in Joshua yesterday and he spoke of Moses and ALL that Moses did for God -- but you know what ....Moses never saw the promised land.  Why?  Read the book -- but if God did not allow Moses,  who did SO much for God's Kingdom, see the promised land---how can we expect to live in a promised land or be received into the promise land - eternity-- if we are NOT obedient??  

There I said it -- being obedient.  As hard as it is -- we must be.  

There are many of God's children that are not being obedient.  Where is the line when disobedience becomes .....so much......that.... you stop and think?   

I mean -- as a parent, there comes a point when I am done talking. 

 "Child, you will suffer the consequences of your choices".  God can bring beauty out of those consequences....but watching a child walk through the suffering of it -- is hard and it hurts.   And honestly, it is not just the sin of having sex outside of marriage.  There is much that our children need US to speak to them about.  I don't think parenting quits when they become adults.  

Pride.

Unforgiveness.

Unfaithfulness

Malice...hatred.   

I believe the enemy can even use recreational drug use as a stronghold.  I don't see where God has written -- "go ahead do anything that is pleasurable, there will be no consequences".  

 It is not just "sex".  So -- enough -- I think I made my point. Be obedient.  

Lord, this blog was indeed transparent, I pray You will use it for Your glory and that anyone who reads this and wants to gossip will be stuck dead.  NO -- Only kidding.... if you are reading this to the end, I pray you are laughing.  But back to my prayer - Lord -- I thank you for those wives that are being obedient.  I thank you for the young couples that know and understand the stuggle is real but they are seriously SEEKING you to stay celibate until they marry.  Lord, I thank you for the children you blessed me with ...and I am most grateful that I have a man whom I love...I am attracted to and he wants me.  Lord, help me to use this blog for YOUR purposes.  Help me to speak life....

But also -- for the one reading this -- I pray she reads, reflects and asks herself...am I being obedient?  Is there something or someone that needs to hear truth instead of me just ignoring what Your Word says.    Lord, I also pray you will BLESS the socks off today - for all who read this, as they endured my head for at least 6 minutes as they read.  Lord, I am humbled....I feel this blog is not "polished" yet...but it is me and it is You allowing me to believe that obedience brings rewards.  I pray for those young adults who seem to think is "ok"....God only you can save...Holy Spirit only you can convict, but I pray they will not be distracted and wake up as I do believe we are in Your ending season and I want all those around me whom I love to END well...in heaven with MUCH rewards.  In Jesus Holy Name, Amen.   

Day #16 - Prayers for a Sister in Crisis - Quitting.

The Holy Spirit spoke to me on two topics today.  And one of those topics was "quitting".  This past week, many teachers, including me, had to start all over again.  The week and a half off - had kids forgetting routines and procedures and so it felt like starting over on Monday and by today -- only "hump day" - I was already quite TIRED.  But -- routines help make a classroom run smoothly and utilizing the time we have for instruction the best way possible.  In setting up a room, I even place furniture around the room to have the best traffic flow -- every detail is thought of.  

Our lives -- many times we have to control every detail and that causes a crisis.  Sometimes we never had control which causes a crisis.  And other times -- you just don't know what happened and there is a crisis.  Beth Moore speak/talks about being in a PIT.  And whether you placed yourself in there, or if you fell into that PIT, or if another PUT you in that PIT -- you are in a pit.  Period.  However, God wastes nothing and you will get beyond this.  

But what about a day when you just REALLY just want to quit?   The Lord brought me to this post, that I wrote back in November of 2011.  Almost six years ago.  

Read on -
So -   when does one quit.... ???

I was mixing up some cookie batter to roll out some cookies.  The Youth Group at Church is  having a bake sale.  I successfully stirred up 2 batches of my Grandma's roll out cookies and used up all the flour.  So, I put the eggs, sugar, and butter in the mixer and turned it on to 'cream' .....  and I turned around to grab the new bag of flour out of the pantry and in the 45 seconds it took to grab it, I turned around to see this....

...the bowl was practically off the mixing stand and the batter had crawled up the sides of the bowl and was flying out.. it was everywhere...   there was a centrifugal force of that sweet yellow butter,sugar, and egg cream.....   the dog was even covered but I could not grab her fast enough to get a photo.

Clean up time...  quitting time.......

I could not establish how much batter was really left in the bowl so I quit.  I cleaned.

I got to thinking - there is a life lesson in this.  And there was.

My life goes up and down.  One day I am so strong and the next, a little thing can set me back.  I kept asking God this morning -- 'what'????    HE reminded me of HIS security.

I am secure in HIS love.  I am HIS.
God reminded me HE wins.  HE does not quit....  HE could of scooped up the batter and added flour and made some really good cookies, but I would of needed HIS divine HELP.... I would need some supernatural power.

Right now, on this Earth - I can access that.

 I cleaned up the batter and knew HE was there, always scraping my feelings up of this or that - what has been splattered here and there and HE adds to me and makes me whole again, tasting sweet.  IT is HIM.  Not... what this person says or does for me. Not what I am expecting from this one or that one.  Not what I can do on my own -- it is HIM.  ONLY HIM.  HE has to do it.

HE reminded me today, that quitting is NOT an option.   Which is very funny because   last night at a certain point..... because of a certain thing.... I had really thought about quitting.  For the first time in this journey since we decided to reconcile--I have wanted to quit.   I have asked, "can I?"

 But last night, the  Enemy really got in my head and really made me feel that quitting would be easier.  That dart came - and it was grabbed and held at bay -- not by me --- by the Holy Spirit.  HE reminded me of past victories and HIS plan is always good.  HE reminded me of the reward awaiting -- to see a whole family restored.  So, last night before I finally closed my eyes......  I asked God for a fresh new start today.

HE answered -- this am, I find it interesting that the thought of "I am quitting"..    is now like a distant thought, but it did bring me back to the Cross...... we can't do anything without HIS help.

 I can't worry about tomorrow- HE is my security.  I can't allow the Enemy to put thoughts of quitting in me - I will renew my mind.  Every moment -- Every minute.

Maybe this will bless you today -- if you read to the end.

God answers prayers.  HE allows hurt and pain -- for a reason -- so we rely totally on HIM and HIM only.    When we are restless - we need to SEEK HIM more.  WHEN we don't know what to do - we TURN to HIM.

And it is God who establishes us with  you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has also put his seal on us and give us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee ---2 Corn 1.21-22

The Holy Spirit is our guarantee -- HE is fighting for us and HE gave us the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us while we are here... so when we want to quit, we know that we know, that is not what our Lord wants.  And so that we know,  HE will come and add scrape us up -  and add what is needed so that we are sweet and whole again.  HE restores.

Thank You Lord,  YOUR love makes me smile.

You know Lord, that the  Enemy really wants to beat me up today - do me a favor and kick him into hell - thanks, michelle



That was my post -- as I re-posted and edited it a bit for today -- I prayed:  

Lord, for that sweet sister that wants to give up -- and quit.  Lord, GRAB those darts and thoughts like I had and like YOU did for me...do it for her today, and may she come back to this blog prayer and be reminded that YOU are fighting for her....IN Jesus name, Amen 

Prayer #15 - Sister in Christ in Crisis - When God speaks.

Adam saw God.   ( Gen 3. 8-9)  Moses met with Him personally.   ( Numbers 12. 6-8) Paul also saw the risen Jesus on the road to Damascus. ( Acts 9)  

God speaks.  God spoke through angels, for example Peter was visited in prison.  ( Acts 5)  In the Old Testament angels appeared to Abraham, Lot, and David and other prophets.   Sometimes God speaks audibly.   A voice from heaven was heard at Jesus' baptism. ( Luke 3)  Paul's heard the audible voice on the road to Damascus ( Acts 9).  A voice was heart by the boy Samuel ( 1Samuel) and on the other occasions in scripture.

God can speak to you while being caught up in the Spirit, in a trance, and in open visions.   But you can also have mental pictures, dreams, or internally hear an expression or just a simple knowing.

God can also speak through our natural senses in a supernatural way.  That is, we received supernatural knowing or understanding that is triggered by something in our natural senses.  Taste, touch, and smell all can produce similar understanding if we are carefully listening to our spirits.

I believe God speaks to me through others as well.  God can bring people in your life for a season.  God can also speak to you through a total stranger.

Where did I get this stuff?   I have some experience where I know that I know God speaks to me, but also I took a 30 week class where we studied many of the characteristics of God.   And, I continue to educate myself with solid teachers that teach from His Word. 

The photo here is of my note page on when God speaks - during that class.   

   In looking at this information, I just marveled at WHAT God has done!

 When I was taking notes in the class, back in 2011,  I was also documenting the different ways God had been speaking to me  and I found this.  I found a list in my journal where I was writing down what I HEARD from God. 

 It was a knowing -- and perhaps it was a voice -- but I knew, it was God. 

Here is a record of my list:

Oct/08  "love him where he is at"
Sept/ 09 "hangith  in there baby -  don't give up " Kay Arthur spoke those words and I knew God had her say that for me! 
July/10 "you never have to explain yourself again - I have him"
July/10 "I will use you with women"
Aug/10 "I will bring him home  BUT he isn't finished  yet"
Feb/11 "9 months was my  ( Chell's)  fixing"
March/11 "be still and wait"
April /11 "hold on do not give up"
April 25, 2011 "I have him -- you can't change him"

And these  were also written down but with no dates next to them. 
 "surrender  -- show him grace and mercy" 
"spiritual warfare  - learn HOW to fight" 
"He can't love you until He loves me first"  

If I think and add to that list, I would add:

August 2014 - "take this to more churches -- go horizontal" 
August 2014 -- "release it again, and wash her feet" 
September 2015 "this was WHY..."
 There is so much more....

Even a few days ago when I was praying for another, I heard, "I placed her there -- she is to be there.  I have her". 




So -

Lord, as this blog is read, I pray that   the one reading this would  continue to dig deep into  (Your ) God's  word.  I pray that  you  ( the one reading this ) are wanting to walk with  God  and  hear His voice.   

  I pray that as you continue to mingle and speak  with spiritually mature people and teachings -- that you can discern the voice of God quickly and allow it to change your thoughts or answer a prayer.  

 I pray  You constantly ASK Him  for more.  You are fighting  for eternity  and  I believe that You will indeed win  this present crisis of faith.   

 And Lord, for the others that need this prayer and reminder --  I pray they expect to be used by You -- and I pray that they will take risks, pray bold prayers for their husband or wayward child, but indeed use scripture to  bind the enemy and loose on earth what is in heaven!   Lord, I pray this would encourage that one reading it -- to wait but also to ask and hear from You.  
.  

Lord, I pray a blessing on my man -- thank you for speaking to me in those times -- holding me, reminding me of Your promise that from way back  -- two years prior to the earthquake  -- you were preparing me and I praise God that I listened and obeyed.   You are using me with women -- God but YOU are doing this.   I do want more still....    I want all of You.  

And Lord, as You gave me a word for another -- I can confirm it in Your Word -- YOU were made for such a time as this.  God knows WHY He has you here and dealing with this present Crisis -- it is for You - so that You can cling to that old rugged cross and that as you continue with the gorrie....the glory will come!   Hang in there.  

In Jesus name - amen.  

Prayer/Day # 14 Prayers for a Sister in Christ in Crisis - there is HOPE!

  Today we started school back.  I thought of the women with children that can't go to school -- yet -- because  of Hurricane Irma.   I thought about the many teachers that were not allowed to start school today because of the lack of power and damage to their community or school.

I also thought of one particular sister in Christ who has  sustained a major loss with her home and belongings because of the Hurricane.  I could not get her out of my mind today -- and I asked God  to bring me the RIGHT blog to share.  She is not crying over STUFF....but this next season will be difficult as she will no longer have an income  and her husband's fishing business is put on hold for some time.  Again, it may be a difficult season but I am confident that God is right there with her and leading and guiding her.  

The Holy Spirit led me to this blog I wrote about seven months ago.  I read it  again and KNEW -- I needed to read this again, so another would as well.   

I also prayed for the wife who is still trying to HOLD her family together -- believing that God has her still waiting -- and I agreed with her in prayer today, that His will would be done.  So many would of given up already, but she knows that she knows, her present difficult season can't compare to the glory that God will reveal in eternity! 

I also prayed for a young lady.  A student.  She shared her heart with me today -- she was not enjoying the teasing she was getting from her classmates because she decided to "go with" another boy that liked her.  I reminded her that if she was my daughter - she would not be allowed to have a "beau" in the 5th grade, that she could have a crush; however,  if she felt she was mature enough to be "dating" then she may have to endure a bit of teasing from the other fifth graders.  That conversation led to another, and when I heard her heart and what she has been allowed to do and think so far in her short 11 years ...... well, I reminded her that I pray for her daily and I prayed that she would consider just being  "friends" with the boy!   

Lord, may the one reading this, have the time and patience to read these blogs or come back to them and know that YOU are a God of HOPE and that her present season is NOT hopeless!  In Jesus name, Amen.  


So, here is that blog:  

The Lord brought me to something this morning,  I believe He  spoke into my heart -- "remind the women that they have a GREAT God!".  

This came to me during worship at the Propel Event in Orlando last December.  I went with great exceptions to hear and see a great move of God and within the first 10 minutes of worship, He spoke and I had 4 pages written in my journal.  I could not write fast enough.  I sat down in awe and wonder.   

Then the speakers spoke.

 Today,  I read in Ephesians 1-2 and was reminded of my power in Christ.  Our power in Christ Jesus.  I was reminded that I am a fellow citizen  with the saints!  And that Jesus Christ is my cornerstone.   This goes for EVERY sister in Christ! 

This week has certainly been a blessing to me -- if you read my previous blog, we signed a contract on a home.  A lake condo.  ( That sounds so Palm Beachish....)  But after moving four times and renting the past 61/2 years, were are ready to be completed and move into our home.  7.  This is the 7th year since our house sort of broke apart so with God's perfect timing and number -- it fits.   So, with all that sweet goodness, OF COURSE I can smile, write a blog and encourage.  Encouraging when it hurts is truly an act of God --  but also knowing that He is going to redeem and restore is something I held onto so tightly when we were in the midst of darkness and uncertainty.  

So, I am unsure exactly WHERE   you are at this moment,  today as you are reading this;  but I went to 3 other blogs where there was a theme of HOPE and perhaps one of these will help you get through this next 5 minutes, the next 5 hours, or maybe it will hold you for the next 5 years.   Sometimes the wait is very long.  I am reminded of Moses and his 40 years, Joseph and his 13 years, and even Jesus waiting from the age of 12 to about 33!   Waiting seems to be something God uses.  

I want to remind you - God does keep His promises and He can change people. 

 He can change you! 

Often WHAT IS revealed in us -- can't come to the surface until you don't get what you want!!   THAT is our true self.  Our mouth and lives must line up with God's Word !   Perhaps that is what God is waiting on -- waiting on YOU to do some changing and He can then move forward with your husband or children.  Is He waiting on you?

What comes out of our hearts -- is what God is looking at.  So often we can smile and look so perfect and deep inside there is pride, lust, greed, and unforgiveness -- and yet, no one could tell from the outside until something happens and then maybe our true self comes out.

I think our world has this 'theme' right now to - JUST accept it. 

 NO way -- we serve a mighty God and I won't just accept it.  I am going to stand on God's Word and use that as my guide.  I am going to stand on His Word!  So, in His Word it says, I have a purpose and He has great plans for me.  His Word reminds me  that He is the alpha and the omega and I am not the head nor the tail -- but I am WITH Him - seated at His side.  And I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

YA!!  Right now I am playing Lion and the Lamb by Big Daddy Weave.  
I had to write it that big - as the words get me fired up.  I am MORE than just me -- I am one with Christ.   And His Word says that I can do EVEN more than what Jesus did....!!  That is power.


So, with that -- whatever it  IS this day -- I pray you will grab your bible and go directly to Ephesians 1-3 and read  and when you get to 3.20 -- STAND and declare that need and allow God to fulfill  His Will, In Jesus name.   Amen.


And perhaps you will follow these links and read more - I pray that one of these blogs will give you the needed hope to press in, hold on,  and believe in a miracle for your marriage, your children, yourself, or even the one right in your circle of influence that God placed on your heart.   He wants you to see the victory!  

I am humbled that God even uses this blog for one person to read -- may it indeed be an encouragement!   - Michelle


Exodus 14.14



A Message of Hope - David Wilkerson

A Message of HOPE - God's Promises

Prayer #13 - the POWER That Sustains. The Long and Short of it.

I want to share  something that is VERY hard to explain.....

Here is some scripture :

2 Timothy 3: 16-17 says All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. 

1 Corinthians 12.1 says  'now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I do not want you to be ignorant' 

1 Corinthians 1. 6-7 says 'you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed' 

Luke 3.16 says 'John answered the, all, " I baptize you with water, but one who is more powerful than I will come, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to unite.  He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.'

John 1. 32- 34 says 'Then John gave his testimony: " I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. And I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, 'the man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.' I have seen and I testify that this is God's Chosen One." 

I am speaking about the POWER   -- the power that sustained me.
I believe that POWER was the difference.



Today -- as I pray for those sisters in Christ and as I pray for my own daughter....future daughter in love and for the family close -- I pray that they will seek and hear the Holy Spirit comfort and calm the storm.  I also pray  the understand that their relationship with the Holy Spirit is vital.  So the prayer is short today.  Simple.  The REST of the blog -- is for your reading pleasure if you want to read MY testiment of HOW I became fully filled by the Holy Spirit and HOW I continue to allow Him to refill me - daily.  
                                               - Michelle 


Lord, by the power of Your Holy Spirit, I pray that my dear sister in Christ will reflect and ask herself if she needs MORE of You and more of Your power through Holy Spirit.  I pray that as she walks this day out, she is seeking the body of Christ and seeking time spent with You and with other believers - it is vital for us to allow Your body to dwell within us and we need that fellowship.  Lord, I guard her mind as she may quickly just want to avoid all human contact, but that she is obedient and seeks that local church.  Lord, for my sweet sister in Christ today - give her favor -- In Jesus name, Amen.




 Ok - here is my testimony: 



I thank God for the ministering and mentoring possibilities HE brings to me.  I know I am  to encourage.   I SOUGHT out much encouragement when I was in the middle of a crisis of belief and heartache  within my immediate  family and it was a vital part of my healing and coping.    When I stop and speak, or write, I reflect and the enemy loves to remind me HOW long we were in that pain or how I  was ...or we were in turmoil  but so OUT Of fellowship with our Lord.    ( the enemy does that - he is a LIAR )

So I battle, and take those thoughts captive and believe HIS word and HIS promises.

But I will stop and ask myself -- "how did I do it Lord?"
 And I quickly remind myself or whomever I spoke to -- " I didn't -- HE did it through me...I did it through HIM "

And one of the main reasons I did overcome was because I had some EXTRA power.

 I had a power tool within my reach -- that power was a blessing and it DID sustain me.

This is a literal illustration but if I had to cut a forest of trees down, and I had a saw, I could do the job.  But if I had a POWER tool - an ELECTRIC saw - just think of HOW much faster I would get the job done.   

Sometimes we are SO full of hurt or SO full of  discouragement   that we just don't want to open our bibles nor even pray or think -- THAT is when I could stop, pray in my prayer language,  and know that know -- I WAS speaking DIRECTLY to the Father and the enemy had NO clue.  Amen.


I am referring to my prayer language -- I am referring to speaking/praying  in tongues.  I am speaking of the grace gift that God has for us. 

I believe that if you are struggling and trying to hold on, perhaps you are ready for this Power ...the Power of the Holy Spirit it  is needed.

God is raising a generation of women -- we are like the lioness' arising.  We are SO powerful and our swords are our words ...HIS words...OUR sword is the word of God.

We need to know it - live it, breathe it in and speak it out.

God's word shows me that HIS gift of the baptism of the Holy Spirit ...is HIS gift to me.
We ALL receive the Holy Spirit upon conversion or salvation  -- that is not what I am speaking of.
Being baptized in the Holy Spirit is separate and distinct  -- different from receiving the Holy Spirit at salvation.


Personally, I was raised Catholic and my priest told me that speaking in tongues was a way to help explain what transpired after the death of Christ.  He told me it does not happen today and that if it did - it would be for the priests. I have also sat under teaching that stated "it is not for now". 

I had asked, I inquired.   I was 17.

I went to church with my boyfriend - Brendan.  I heard some people pray out loud and it sounded weird.  It scared me.  Therefore I had already set my heart against it.

 I  remember one Sunday School lesson where it was discussed and I  praised God, because  the teacher stated, "you don't have to be baptized in the Holy Spirit to go to heaven".  Relief -- I was 20.

In the mean time, I heard some people pray it more privately.  I asked questions of Brendan and his Grandparents and  got  it 'figured out' for my limited perspective. 

From age 21-35 various people at church would preach about it.  I ignored it - it still felt 'freaky'. I got too busy -- it was not needed in my opinion. Too busy!

Brendan and I never discussed it.

 By the age of 36 - I became MORE aware of many things.  We were pretty involved in a wonderful church where the baptism of the holy spirit was not welcomed or it was not spoken about.  In fact, it became a topic that had to be defended.   Brendan began to talk about it - conversations started.  He wanted it so I wanted it,  but in my own head - I was still afraid of it.   My uncle was diagnosed with cancer and all of a sudden  prayer became a focal point, something I was doing daily as I wanted to help make a difference. 

Skip to age 39 - this  was a time in my life when God was beginning to change me.

The enemy so deceived my husband, in hindsight I see a man that tried within his 'humanness' to seek God but the enemy won out each time, thus, deception and lies were  believed.

 From my perspective, I was alone.  In many lonely walks and countless  talks with God, I was 'given' a phrase a sentence.  It did not make sense. I did not ask for it, but as I would walk and talk to God, I would feel impressions of Him speaking to me and then one day -- I "got" this phrase.  Those 5 words.  They were of a foreign language or a heavenly language.

  I never spoke of it to my husband -- the enemy has such a wall between us then.  I was afraid.  I did not tell anyone,  but repeating it over and over brought comfort.  I paid closer attention now to preachers on TV  and I read lots of books or articles on the subject.  And I asked God, "did I have my prayer language?".  But I had no idea if I did -- looking back, yes I did, God had baptized me in that prayer language but I was too weak ...too scared.... and to much of a baby in Christ to understand it and I did  not have anyone around me to disciple me. Oh God had put people there - but I couldn't see them.  I was blind.

Even though at that time -- I was attending church...

But let me say it again  -- I  had many around me that could of helped me understand but the enemy had me so closed off and ALONE and isolated - even though I was a youth leader --
even though I lead  bible studies ---
even though I prayed often ----   I was still so alone and deceived. 

That was my idol of pride .....at that time I had things so figured out - I was so blind!
I also had a spirit of religion where I felt I knew what I was suppose to do and I did it. I judged everyone around me according to that spirit of pride and make assumptions based on what FRUIT I saw.   Pride.   My pride was disguised as "a godly woman".  

But the Lord knew -- He knew what it would take to make my eyes open. 

Sometime in there,  I witnessed my daughter research it, seek it,  and get her prayer language and she was so excited, so full of HIM!!  She came home to share and within her speaking about it, our son read the material and was baptized in it instantly.  I had both kids speaking in their prayer language and I had to admit -- IT WAS real!  It also scared me again.    .I went to the bedroom where my depressed husband was watching football  and I shared with him and he could not even look at me.  I just judged him - he was in a midlife crisis and was not seeking God.  Or THAT is what I assumed. 

In hindsight, I understand why  my husband said nothing and  appeared to be untouched, he was so full of anger, justification, and guilt and he could not acknowledge anything that had to do with God.    I had no idea what my husband  was stuck in  ....I just thought he was in a major depression and mid-life crisis.  But how sweet of God, giving that gift  to my children as God  knew that within a few short years ...my children would NEED that as the hurricane had not HIT us yet.  I was 42.

It is hard to capture 10 years worth of feelings  in a blog that I try to keep brief -- but, I needed to say all that so that you  can understand the fear I had and the resistance I had to being baptized in the Holy Spirit.

...Until I was 44.  I believe THAT is when I truly OPENED the eyes HE gave me.  I had too - I was desperate.  I sought out a friend,  and his wife and as we prayed together-God opened my eyes and I realized I had unforgiveness towards so many -- but who could blame me, I had been betrayed! I also realized my pride and HOW I was no better than anyone else.  My good deeds were NOT enough. 

 He asked me if I had a prayer language and  I explained.  Then he asked if he could pray for me in that prayer language and I said OF course!   As I was now, ready to receive.  As he prayed, like I said, God opened my spiritual eyes and in my head,  and showed me that I had this mistrust and unforgiveness and that I needed to forgive him-- my friend and others.    And so, I did.  I  forgave him and as those words came out of my mouth....my prayer language spit out in front of me.  I say spit out in front of me , but it bursted out - and it was real and I knew it and I freaked out cause I knew I did not put those words into my mouth. And so I covered my mouth, like a mother would cover the lips of her sassy child if she was speaking crossly. 

He quickly  told me to continue to speak it out.  "Fan it into flames" !  AS I know now, that is so important when one receives their prayer language because the enemy hates it and quickly whispers - THAT is not real.  But I knew it was real and I just had to jump up and praise God. But I also did not speak it again in front of him or his wife.  I needed to go home and allow the realness of it to be realized.  I needed time.  But, this time - I did not doubt it.  And I began to fan it into flames. 

 From that point on -- I knew I could  rely on praying in my prayer language -- cause after that, there were many many many countless and sleepless nights where I just had NO more words but I wanted to speak to God and pray for the people in my life ....my family...I wanted restoration and I wanted redemption and I wanted my family - to be quite honest - I wanted my husband saved. Period.

THAT is the POWER that sustained me.
THAT is the power I rely on now to continue to fight the enemy.
THAT is the difference -- I believe in some of us getting our healing faster than others......
THAT is what I believe makes the difference.

Peter denied Jesus 3x while they were persecuting our Lord, and yet, after repenting and receiving the Baptism of the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost, he had power and boldness to preach to the multitudes and over 3000 were born again.


Skip back to me at age 44. After that night of prayer in my friend's living room - God began to open my eyes like never before and thus began a process that took time, patience, and lots of love and therapy --- so that by age 45....I REALLY could forgive the one person I felt was the blame and I realized that I had to FORGIVE God too...but that is another blog.  And I had to forgive myself and seek forgiveness....   Full circle.

I have always wanted to minister to people.   I feel. I want to be used by God.   I wanted to be the next Beth Moore once I heard her and realized WHAT she accomplishes through Christ.  But,  God did not make me Beth Moore...He made me Michelle.

 And yes,  I have been through a few trials and most recently my family,  has walked through the fire and we came out on the other side -- better, stronger, and finally FREE of so much bondage and strongholds.  Free of condemnation and shame, free of the lies that the enemy had convinced us all.

 God allowed the hurt and betrayal  to pierce our family and so now -- many people believe I am some really GREAT prayer warrior or person that 'gets things done'.  One person even said I was remarkable ....I am not remarkable - I am HIS and if my words, or my actions help another to understand and realize that we all will face JESUS one day and give an account -- than praise God, I want to be used, I want the LOST saved.  

God will hear  you JUST a mightily but the enemy has you  convinced your words are not good enough.  The enemy is a LIAR.

I am nothing without God.  I am nothing without Christ - HE is the one that healed.  HE is the one that restored -- I only grabbed onto the fringe of HIS garment and HUNG on for dear life.
I did hang on tight.
I did not give up.
I wanted to.  I asked God many many many nights to please release me -- to please let me just be DONE...but HE never did that.
 HE gave us His son -- so we can endure.


 I sought HIS word and the sword and when I just COULD not pray anymore...I spoke my prayers directly to GOD by using my prayer language. It was the power I needed.

It was no longer freaky.
It was real.

I am 51 and a half  today ....

This boldness is only from HIM.  My life verse it to let HIS light shine in me - like Beth Moore says, "there is NO high like a Jesus high"...to see another be SET free...to believe in miracles and to be a part of a church body/family that believes  GOD Can do anything is encouragement and life to me...life to my husband and children. 

BTW -- if you speak to him and get talking about God  -- he will tell you of THAT power too - and there is nothing more rewarding  than praying with your husband and hearing him claim life over you...bless you..and pray for you.   Hearing him ask me to pray for him, to keep another  in my prayers,  Etc. ETc.  THAT is what God intended.  THAT is  one of the reasons  He allowed  our  crisis of faith.

...So, I could write today and even if ONLY one person reads this and gets the urge to inquire about the Holy Spirit and want to have that -- prayer language...I am blessed and humbled.

 You can have that power too - HE promised it.

The baptism is a gift  received by faith.
We receive it by asking.
Have you already spoke it out -- that you would never get it??
Have you experienced it before so you are already freaked out?

 You can change that.

Start reading the book of Acts and Corinthians chapters 12-14 and Jesus will be more real to you and if you have READ to the bottom of this post -- I believe YOU want that power too.

Humbled.
- Michelle

If you read this and endured to the end  -- I believe God is giving you a reminder -- HE wins!

Prayer #11 and Prayer #12 -- For a Sister in Christ in Crisis -- we are not God forsaken

First -- I do apologize.

 I just did not physically have the time yesterday to post my prayer.

 However -- I prayed. 

Not only for the one sister that these 40 days of prayers started for -----

-       --but for the others that He brought in my path yesterday......even my precious grand-daughter!

   I had not seen her for a good 2 weeks and we had to catch up and I prayed over her little bottom that needed some extra butt paste -- as diaper rash is NO fun!   But let me get back to my sister in Christ ---

Today should be Day #12.  Prayer #12. 

Today, I knew that I needed to be fed. 

I watched a Simulcast with  Beth Moore - 2x. 

And I had a visit by a sweet sister in Christ - two of them actually besides being able to hug some other dear pals that love Jesus at a birthday party -- and my heart was filled.

I needed today.  Not only  to get some extra work done, but to be filled with His Word, and His Servant's fresh message...and with the  physical presence of the body of Christ.   Fellowship! 

So, as I am about to lay my head to the pillow -- I will let you just hear my prayer --- no real theme other than WHAT is on my heart.

 

So tonight -- as I pray, I hope this speaks to more than just me and her.....


Lord -- thank you.  I want to always BE in Your Word.  I want it alive and active in my life.  I want to always be growing in Your knowledge.  I want to be in Your Strength and grow in wisdom and I want always to give Thanks.   Your Joy in me ...is what will draw those that are lost to You .  As they won't believe that no matter the circumstance -- I will praise You. 

 Lord, for my sister in Christ this eve - there are a few more on my heart than just that one....but I pray that she will want to be In Your Word, she will want to continue to grow in the knowledge of You and she will allow You to be her strength!   I pray she will give thanks.  I pray she will give thanks -- in spite of her hurt...in spite of her circumstances..and in spite of any other trials.  

 Lord, today Beth spoke and reminded us all -- we don't live in a GOD- forsaken world...as WE are here.  And WE are Yours.  And Lord, Beth reminded me especially that our phones have become idols...our devices have become vices...Lord, that this blog, nor my phone, or whatever I communicate with -- would NOT become an idol or a vice.....  

Lord, I was created for such a time as this.  I was chosen to live this life -- walk this path, and endure these present circumstances.  Lord, for the one I was fortunate to love on today -- God...You choose her for this time and place and for this hardship - for Your purposes.  I pray she will see the beauty and the WONDER in that -- even as she is rebuilding from a major loss.  Help her Lord.  

Lord, for the one I specifically wrote this blog for -- Lord, that she would see and understand that You choose her for this time and for Your purpose -- she is suffering right now but as You remind us in Romans...the suffering can't compare to the glory that will come later.... Lord, help her.  

Lord, for the other women that are on my prayer wall this eve -- where I am interceding for their marriages and their hearts....Lord, that EACH of them would see that Your allowed this -- You want their focus , and that You are indeed present.  Lord, that they too would be reminded that the present tears -- can't compare to the glory.  Lord, help them.  

And Lord,  for my own granddaughter -- Ava and the one in womb...Sawyer Jane -- God, as we are all living in the season of  the end, may my two grands be raised with the light and wield a sword like we never could....Lord, I pray over them and thank you for the insight -- to raise girls in Your knowledge  -- and I pray for my daughter as she speaks life over them!   

Lord, again -- I thank you -- I won't ever say that I live in a God-forsaken world...as I am here.  Lord, I know we are transformed by the washing of Your Word over us -- but help us to live in this world were the gorrie and the glory seem to go hand in hand.  

Lord, I pray these prayer touches whomever reads it.  May they seek You Lord and allow You to be their ALL.  IN Jesus name.  

And Lord, for Ava's diaper rash...may it decrease by morning as I want a happy baby in church - IN Jesus name.  Amen.  

I am humbled Lord -- and wanting to help.  In Jesus name.