Merry Christmas from Brendan and Michelle

 December 20th.  

Can it really be over 6 months since I have blogged?  

It has.  

Wow. 

I would say time flies - but I think time does more than fly - time can escape us.  

I have not stopped writing -- it is just writing is in other  forms, shapes,  and print  right now and which keeps me quite busy. 

  That is where God has me using my pen.  I enjoy keeping the mailboxes full, especially when I send a note and stickers to my grands.  

Before I started this, I  even had to dig up my password for Blogger  to make sure it was still working.  

So, let me NOT delay -- 

Merry Christmas. 

First -  I want to share what is ON my heart -- if we were to share a meal, sit and chat on our back porch,   or  spend some precious time together before this  year ends--  we would be sharing  what  is important to us -- what brings us JOY in this chaos of our present World. 

 Yesterday  in Church Pastor Paul spoke about Mary.  The central theme of his message  --  humbleness  -- her humble spirit to be obedient to the Lord.  

I think this last year has been  a  humbling. 

  Brendan would always remind our children when they were little about being humble.   And 1 Peter 5: 6-7 was often quoted when he was teaching  Hunter or Taylor about something or perhaps  when their attitude needed adjusting -- 

-- however, he always would remind  them that God was the one to seek for answers and help when something was to change or be figured out.  

In the last year, 2021 - I have seen a humbling. 

 I have seen God extend such grace and mercy  as He allowed a humbling within others  -- that has humbled me!!   

And as He has allowed discipline within me and my walk, I am humbled that HE has again and always shown me MUCH GRACE and MERCY.  

There is a verse in a song we sand on Saturday at a Women's Conference that blessed me, "my afflictions eclipsed by your glory"  -- many around me have experienced MUCH affliction in the last year; however the glory that has been revealed through it -- brings HOPE.  

Solid HOPE.  

More HOPE  than a mandate  or a relief check - more hope than the MSM or  evening news.   

More HOPE than believing WE  can solve the problems of this world. 

He desires us.  THERE has been much awakening!  

He created us and we are living at this time - "for such a time as this" - for HIS purpose. 

I believe God will allow a hard humbling - to get our attention as within my own heart it took a humbling to OPEN my eyes. 

I believe God is allowing MUCH right now, as the Scriptures and prophesy are being fulfilled, and when we dig into HIS Word, we can get a glimpse as to why there is MUCH distraction within our World.    The ONLY answer is Jesus. 

I believe that--we believe that --  often --much of what we suffer from is because we need to humble ourselves before  a Holy God and yet, we don't  want to or we resist.   Or we don't trust.  

I believe God is asking all of us now, 'are we ready?'.  

 When focused on the World,  or even ourselves,  I think we can allow the enemy to distract.  

Pride.  Self- Centered thinking. 

 When Focusing on HIM and SEEKING HIS Word; a humbled heart can't do much but change -- and it will prepare us.  

2022 will be here in a few weeks. But I believe our time is short - we believe our time is short.   I write this epistle, but Brendan reads and gives the OK.  He is more vigilant to ask those  peeps God places in his path, if they know about Jesus - which just marvels me.  He wants to finish well.  And he prayerfully watches for opportunities -- he teaches me much!  

Each day, Brendan and I remind ourselves that we must live with intention,  HIS purpose and be HIS hands and feet and share HIS good news, as we see several  around us -  in silent suffering, but also many others that have NO clue that they deceived.  

No judgement - NONE, however, fruit inspecting is MUCH easier now with so much  put OUT on social media and when Holy Spirit gives discernment, it is hard not to get on our knees and seek Him in prayer, and repent ourselves!!   And it also causes us to grieve at times when we want to YELL... GOD can change hearts!   

We don't claim to have it  all figured out;  we fail; however, we KNOW the ONE who does  not fail and by by HIS Grace and Mercy -  we daily can experience HIS freedom and we WANT that for others too.  

When will God tell Jesus to gather  HIS Bride?  

Only Abba  Father knows, but we are IN the season of a coming..... are we ready?  

I would hope and pray  we'd be like Mary when the Angel told her in Luke 1 that "God had found favor in her" - 

Oh Lord, may we ask ourselves, "have you found favor with us?"  

I would  hope and pray, we'd respond like Mary , "I am the Lord's servant, May your word be fulfilled". 

Oh Lord, may we respond as YOUR Servant, but first -- 

---first, we must KNOW you as Savior -- 

--may that be the Christmas Gift WE  give to Our Father!  

Merry Christmas -- 

Next, our highlights 

January brought a new Pritchard into our house. Cindy Renea  is dearly loved, graduated with her BS in Education in April and was assigned a position by July!  She teaches 1st graders, keeps Brendan on his toes with her dry sense of humor, and makes HP laugh.  It has been a JOY to watch them fall in love, help plan a wedding, and then watch them walk out what God has purposed them for.  January 15th will make ONE year as husband and wife.  She was made for him,   as she loves the outdoors, can man the boat while Hunter is unloading it from the dock, and loves to do adventures and  with him!   Hunter continues to work at the Insurance office and loves to fish, learn new things, and has connected to a great bunch of friends here in Okeechobee.  THE BEST thing about the plandemic was bringing him home and God had a plan to KEEP him close.  THIS momma has been in heaven!!  

With illness,  surgery, and the grands growing  in 2020 - it was apparent that we needed a bigger place.   By Fall of 2020 we began the  prayerful  process of building a house. Call us crazy, but God assured us to move forward and we sold our Redemption Cottage, and prayerfully  we will move into our new place in the new year.  Not sure what we will name this spot.  "On Golden pond" seems fitting - maybe, but we don't plan to go skinny dipping in that pond!!!

 (Those under 50 will have NO clue as to that  pop reference. )  We moved 6 times from 2011 -2017 and our 7th move will hopefully be our last stop - But GOD knows.  We moved into the Healing house over my birthday weekend in 2012 -- so, maybe we can move into the forever home in February too!  God only knows!   Praying! 

I spent the entire school year of 20-21 at my kitchen table so when  we had a break, we took short trips and when school was out, we took more time to visit WI, the Keys, and the pool!  We were also  blessed with some sweet time in the Exhumes last July which reminded me HOW small we really are within this whole world!  It was a once in a lifetime trip,  meeting  new friends,    having concierge service 24/7, and seeing a whole new part of the world -  that was a favored blessing!    September and October  had mini trips to Wisconsin and I was able to sit and watch my Senior Niece play in her Sub-sectional which brought back MANY memories from my own days on the WHS Tennis Team!   

 School started  back in  August and I am back in the classroom, this year teaching 2nd, 3rd, and 4th graders social studies with an emphasis on geography, government,  and some history!   I LOVE my new position.  This is year 34  - Brendan has  been retired  four years now, and  he works full time at our Insurance office, going between our 3 offices, marketing and selling, but also working with the kids (Taylor works there too) in managing the office and making sure we survive this 21st century!   

Speaking of Taylor, as the FIRST photo showed, we were blessed with an announcement just a few short weeks ago.  Baby Padrick  #3 is due in late June.  Yes, we are hoping for a boy, but you all know we just want a healthy little one!   
Jake continues to teach, Taylor is doing her teaching at the Insurance office as she  leads and manages and helps train while she  her hands in LOTS of areas. The last 6 months she has  has lead the team in transitioning to a new management system.  We are very blessed with our employees and we pray that as Lowell and Marilyn transition into Semi/full retirement - the next generation can continue to build and fulfill God's purpose for that office!  

Ava and SJP with their Maternal GREAT-Grandparents! 

Ava went to Sea World for her 2nd birthday and we had to recreate the photo for her 6th - we added a few kids!!   

Ava was six in November, we spent some time as a family at Sea World.  Jake's folks live in TN so it is a treasure when we can ALL be together!   Miss Kerry and Poppa are  Ava and SJ's  favorites!   She is in Kindergarten and loves to read and playing with her cousins - Brinlee and Zander ( our niece, Jaiden and Dustin's kids).  YOU can see the Sea World photo.  Brinlee was just six this last week.  Zander and SJ are a year apart, and the 4 of them bring much laughter!  

Sawyer will be four on January 5th.  She is very headstrong and a cut up.  She is also the life of the party - wonder HOW that happened??!!   She is always moving and singing and had declared she was  getting TWINS --  at the announcement!   it has been a joy to watch Ava grow into a young lady, and now as SJ approaches her 4th birthday, I can see and hear her learn new things and that toddler talk will disappear soon.  She is very into eyelashes and  happy faces as she draws on everything! 

 

THE LION flanked by two Prayer Warriors that will fight for all of their Grandkids.  I am so blessed to do life and FAMILY with the Padricks!   I see G-Man snuck into the photo too -- He always wants to be the FIRST one to greet the girls, as he will say, "they forget about me once they see Mimi or Miss Kerry".... BLESS his heart - watching Brendan grandparent those girls with his Johnny Cling stories and how he dotes on them - makes me fall in love with him all over - OFTEN!  

Ava and SJ started soccer.  SJ practiced well, but didn't quite master the art of playing in a game.  She'd rather be a Ninja -  Ava was a pro from the get go and is now doing some  travel club soccer cause she is FAST and always the first to the ball.   Dance may be the next thing Sawyer tries.  And Taylor wants both girls to do some volleyball -  SJP goes to Sunlight Academy and it is so adorable to hear her pray and say, "GOD".....to which her big sister has to give her some pointers.  It is a blessing to hear each of them pray - and sing to HIM. 

 The girls so enjoy their time together. We made cookies and decorated the tree a month ago, it was nice to witness  and hear them being  playmates as they both are growing  and becoming more mature!  However, they are full sisters too  that need a time out here and there as well.  Mimi and G-man spoil them and WE enjoy doing that.  Brendan will often grab one of them after school if he can and they head for ice cream.  Ava loves to draw and is a very good big sister to SJ.  Sawyer, at times, can have a melt down and Ava is always the first one to try and calm her....even when Ava may be the cause of it.  Both of these girls bring BIG smiles to Brendan and I and we can't wait to have sleep overs at the "pond"  house! Hey - that could be the name of the new house!!   And we will look forward and await the arrival of the next one and our heart will get even fuller! 

 

thanksgiving 2021 - toasting the turkey

On a Sunday after church, you will find us having lunch with some friends, or grabbing our helmets and taking off for a ride on the Harley.  We didn't ride too much this summer, but planning some road trips for NEXT summer.  Cindy's folks got a cycle and it has been a BLAST riding here and now we want to show them some Wisconsin sites!   We also find LOTS of time to have family gatherings and just enjoy food - Brendan makes some really good ribs!  The littles play well together with Brinlee and Zander and we just have to remind them not to RUN down the steps. 

 The new house will have a pool and NO steps but there will be MORE room!  God is so sweet, the people the purchased our home are dear friends and each day as I wipe up  the floor, or fill the dishwasher,  and  or think about packing, I just pray that our Redemption House will bring them MANY grand memories and family time as well.  We bought this house from a sweet lady who loved this Cottage well and we have loved it well too.  These walls heard laughter, prayer, and JOY as we'd gather with friends and enjoy Bren's ribs or my Chicken Wellington!  

 

My folks are doing well - we had the pleasure of their company for a few days this last November.  Playing some games rather than Sheepshead was  new but rather fun! My Mom still works at  Wally World and my Dad delivers parts for Napa.  He can be found in his truck touring the farmland and watching PBS in his free time.  Mom still does many crafts sews, and paints and reads.   Brendan and I enjoyed a visit from my Uncle Ralph and his wife who ALSO have a Harley and love to ride.   So now it is our turn to take the bike north!  We had family here for the wedding and visits from siblings which were treasured- as there are 25+ grandkids including my children -- it is a challenge to keep up with the graduations and babies of the cousins but thank goodness for FB - as it has a great quality of allowing one to share our lives.  

 Brendan's parents are doing well too.  After a rough start in 2021, we give God the glory for healing - Lowell - !!    The two of them open their home for the holidays and a change to hang at the Hammock - which we all love to do.  Dad has a barn that he is 'filling' with his tools and Marilyn still runs in to town to  do several tasks  each week, and she enjoys her ladies groups and their luncheons! We make the most of family gatherings as we know - time is short.   

We have been SO blessed with several really good friends that we not only worship with - but they bless us with meals, trips to the Keys, and  humor us when we want to stop by the grandkids for a hug before we head home on the cycle.  Our Church family is a big part of our lives and we are looking forward to being in our new building ( Sanctuary ) this spring!   

 I have a few new walking partners and enjoy praying with and for a few precious daughters of the Most High when God carves out the time!  Bren and I stay busy - the last 3-4 months have been fun, window shopping for tile, floor choices, and trying to figure out the design elements of the new spot. Industrial farmhouse is what I think Joanna Gains would call it!?  They mudded walls Friday and THAT was exciting!  Right now my front room is filled with boxes of fixtures and faucets, all part of the process!   Yet, Brendan and I have had great fun!!  We keep busy, but we also REST and are still when we need to as well.  Brendan still LOVES to read and I took a bible class this last semester that I so enjoyed!  

In a very hard season, Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "he will rebuild the house" - in the last ten years - I have seen much and experienced much.  And God has rebuilt MUCH within our hearts, our lives, and our families.  And, with each move we made -- "he - Brendan - did rebuild much!"  !!!   God is so so sweet.  If you are around me, you will hear me say, "God WINS".  He always does.  Always.  

 Will we trust HIM long enough?  

Do we  hear Him?   I find myself often I can't hear when I have TOO much noise and distractions.  Several years ago, our word for the year was "intentional" -- it still is.  Being intentional each day - is important to us.  

I have also learned over the course of these last two years -- that HE won't fail us and if we will WAIT on HIM and be obedient ...HE will work ALL things out for HIS purpose and HIS glory and for our BEST. 

I have learned that there is HARD in this life, but we can do HARD, only with HIM as our strength and truth.  

 Many around us did have a HARD year with death, fears, and other sufferings.  Our hearts hurt, cried, and rejoiced and we try our best to continue to pray Psalm 91 over us as well as drink water, eat right, and build that natural immunity!    

He created us and appointed us ONCE to die. 

 Our days are numbered -- by God. 

 He knows the beginning and the end.

He knows the number of hairs on my head.   ( Even the number of the WHITE ones - no longer gray.) 

   Now I am NOT going to go jump in front of a train, but I am going to TRUST that He speaks and protects.   And I won't, we won't live in fear.  

Over the last 20 some months -- much propaganda has blinded many.  

Natural and common sense has somewhat been thrown out the window in our opinion.  

Truth - sets us free.  Real Truth - 

Our Word for 2022 is unshakable - 

May you experience the unshakable faith  within your life that brings you much peace and joy, even in the midst of HARD. And may there be more time spent with the important ones around us - we need community.  We need each other and we are tired of Satan getting the last word - cause we KNOW, God will win.   

Amen - Merry Christmas - Michelle ...and Brendan!   

in 

Who is my Jesus? Blog #4 When we question.

 

So, who is my Jesus when I question?  

I simply go back to prayer and HIS Word.  

In the last 5 months there has been much within our country and our world that is 'going wrong'. 

The Election - the mask mandates, and MUCH have littered our news agencies and the media so much so that many have just boycotted the News all together.  We have.  

Last year  or rather several months ago, a  BIG revelation about Ravi Zacharias came out and my world was not shaken, but I questioned and asked opinions and read articles.  I wanted answers. 

I really never listened or followed Ravi,  until these later years.  However when he spoke in the area of Apologetics - he certainly had a way with words.   His words made sense and in the last year, I have met people that did his bible studies, became Christians because of his lectures,  and followed his teachings and went to his conferences.  They did feel a blow when all the news was finally released.  Truth is always -- well, truth always will set us free.  

And I believe the timing was purposeful for God, as it always is, but the promise that God won't be mocked is something that I have praised but also grieved.... it is hard when the truth hurts.  

 Last year or maybe it was 2 years ago when he passed - I watched the funeral or memorial service and marveled at those that spoke and what they said  about him.   I found myself praying, Lord - that I would impact people for YOU in that way!!   

 I was most impressed with his daughter and her testimony.  I watched IG and Social Media in the days that led up to his death - post photos of  prayer circles and visits with other church  leadership.  He was impressive.  Then I watched Social Media and IG fill the feeds with the news of his sexual misconduct and I watched an interview give by Lori Anne Thompson and I cried.  

  She was mocked and literally scorned and finally - she was vindicated and set free.  Yet still, the consequences of sin - hurt. 

I prayed for his wife and daughter for several days and I prayed that in those last moments - he confessed to his wife -- all that was hidden.   As I questioned God.  And I had to come to a conclusion so I could move forward.  

 I do know that if he came CLEAN before Jesus  ( and I prayed he did this before his wife too) , then as  he met Jesus on his death -- then, indeed, he is walking the streets of heaven.  I had peace in that.  As He always spoke and taught through God's Word - which is truth.  However,  if he did not.  If he justified his sin and if he continued to lie - until that last breath -- I believe he is in hell.   That is my opinion and with those concluding thoughts - I was able to move forward.   Why did it matter to me?  It just did.  As I said, I have prayed for his wife and his daughter. 

Praise God , this  is NOT a question I have to answer or be held to - but.... again, what a shame.  But, he is not the first leader that, we as man have placed on a pedestal  -- as men and women will fail.  We are human.  

Today, a memory popped up where I had shared a quote from Ravi - and I prayed for the tremendous PAIN that is still connected to his self-centered actions and life.  Sexual misconduct is indeed real and can be very addictive  - but it is treatable, and if left  to continue - it is sin.  Pure and simple.  There are SO many more that HIDE sin.  At times, when I get in my head -- it is very easy to 'judge' my sin compared to others.  

When we compare - we are either - superior or inferior to another and THAT is NOT what God teaches or expects and that comparison....is a trick of the enemy to get us to sin.  Falling into that trap is indeed - deadly. 

When I question, I take my questions to God. 

 There are many questions I throw at Him daily.  There are questions HE gives me answers to and others I don't.  Many I may never  GET an answer  for --- until heaven.  

There are many questions floating in my head right now - this list is not exclusive to just me.  I have a feeling that you may have these questions too.  And on any given day, the complexity of these questions - varies.  

When will Jesus return?   Do you not see what he is doing Jesus?  

Will I see the Rapture?   Why haven't you answered her on that prayer? 

Will there ever be any more trust with the Government? 

Are the 'mask' and  'no mask' profile pictures and tags on photos,  leading into a season like we had,  over seas back in the 1930's,  when Hitler asked the Jews to wear the Star of David to be identified? 

Why did she get jabbed?  Do they think I am the crazy  one because I choose to be conservative? 

Is he living in fear?   Why would he not just reach out?  Where were they?  

Why won't they use their common sense?    How can you justify this?  

Why is she so stupid?   Am I that stupid?   Do they see Christ in me?  

What is next?   I am tired and why can't you come soon Jesus?  

Will she beat this cancer?   How do I pray for her?   Will she allow me to hold her?  

Will he SEE that his own SIN is worse than calling the crud out on his wife?  

Will she really just ignore me and call herself a Christian?  

What did I say now?  

You see, questions -- today, I am being transparent.  There are MANY questions that I take to Jesus. Many that HE does answer and as I continue to GET into HIS Word, HE does lead and guide me to HIS truth and HE shows me much.  

Jesus is the one I take my questions too.  HE is the BEST one to answer and when He decides to let  me wait it out - HE brings comfort.   He also alerts me to stuff -- stuff, that I know, HE will redeem and HE will address -- in HIS timing.  

Jesus is the BEST answer for all of our questions - if you have one or would like to talk and pray - reach out to me.  I LOVE talking about Jesus, but I love talking to people too!   

Who is my Jesus? - Blog #3 - Faithful and Reliable and Sweet!

 This photo was captured back in February of 2019 when Brendan so graciously supported my school girl crush and we hopped plane to Vegas one weekend so I could sit in the front row and see Donny Osmond sing and dance.  

He was gracious and allowed me a silly dream - that came true.  He makes me laugh and sometimes he frustrates me too, but in it all -- He was created for me. I rely on him - a lot;  today, I got to return the favor as he needed me for   some surgical support. 

It gets very easy to rely on our husbands. 

Today, he had some minor surgery.  Long story, but all is well!!   In the process over the last 6 weeks of pain and trying to figure out what was the cause, we have done much, researched much, and not slept much -- as he tosses and turns. 

Over the last six weeks, it was easy to go  from having great  concern for him and helping him  try to  figure out what was the cause of his pain was ---  to many nights just being frustrated and aggravated - not at him-- but at God --as  this healing process that we had claimed was not coming FAST enough.  

Funny, how we can have trust and then we don't. 

Funny, how we can pray for others and then get frustrated in our own requests.

Funny how we can claim healing and then when it doesn't happen in our time frame we get a little cranky.  

Funny, how  when your  body begins to revolt and you don't have control -- the LORD reminds you of many lessons you already know but have become 'blind' to-

Funny how your mind and the enemy wants to give you every reason to think the worst rather than the best -- 

It is all our human weakness and our flesh -- in which, we need to rely on our Savior and not ourselves!! 

In all of this - today, I was SO reminded that Jesus is faithful.   And I can rely on HIM. 

 We did pray for a miracle -- but, we believe the healing  came through the hands of a gifted surgeon that removed an 'agitated' gallbladder and its contents, a 3.5 mm stone.   

  I grabbed a book to read while waiting at the hospital - a new one, I wanted to mail to another, but wanted to read it first.  Small talk was made here and there, as we sat in that waiting room and wondered if we were in the right spot. My husband sparked a conversation with another wife waiting on her husband.  She overheard Bren's discussion with the clerk and then  exclaimed that her daughter was born in the same year as us! Which sparked even more conversation  - which ensued. 

  She revealed she a diagnosis she had just been given - cancer.  At this point,  Bren was  about to  leave for  surgery prep, but  he stopped and asked the nurse to wait. He laid his hands on Terri's shoulders and prayed for her.  I watched as tears filled her hands.  There is something very sweet when you know Holy Spirit is prompting you to pray  and your husband just covers that!   Tears filled my eyes as well, as you watch your best friend of 30+ years walk away  with a stranger and that stinking devil whispers- you won't see him again.   So I just faithfully rebuked that enemy.  Back to the  waiting room -  

 This precious woman I continued our conversation.  

In those 90 minutes  of waiting - Jesus was faithful and reliable.  

As she shared, I shared.  As she spoke of her concerns - I knew what to respond.  The last 6 weeks of Bren's  pain and  my frustrations were NOTHING in comparison to hers.  

Funny HOW God allows this if we look and seek,  we are usually reminded that our story, as hard as it may be or how aggravating,  there is always another's story  that gives us perspective. 

As I said, we shared stories.  I pulled that book I wanted to read out of my bag, and I knew it was meant for her.  Even more now, and I prayed, would she receive it?   Holy Spirit gave me a few words of encouragement and  a word knowledge that brought more tears to me and the confidence to share His gospel.  

 Maybe... maybe... Bren had to suffer the past month, just for TODAY - a divine appointment for the two of us to meet this sweet and precious woman. And yes, her name is actually -- 'sweet'.  In our conversation, she spoke something that took me back - to 10 years ago when I felt I was going to lose my husband.  

 What she said, was something that I said to a fellow prayer warrior, again  some ten years ago -- when I felt I was going to lose my husband.  

 And, Jesus - so faithfully had ME , and in that waiting room, He allowed me  to remind her that HE would be the one she could rely on and that HE was faithful. 

 And I had the faithful knowledge to know that I know,  I could rely on Jesus to cover and back up what I was claiming for her.   His truths.  

It was the most sweet visit with a total stranger. Bren was tickled to hear what transpired after he left the waiting room for surgery.   Bren and I are determined to follow up later this week. I pray and believe that if I had a sibling, a loved one,  or even my parents sitting alone in a waiting room, that HE would be faithful to me and provide a "sweet warrior " to pray for them.  

We are to LOVE one - another --

--- we are to remove the 'mask' and speak and talk and listen to those HE brings to us around us.  HE is faithful, HE is reliable and HE is able to touch lives through our hands and our hearts.  And we prayed - for her cancer and we claimed a healing.  

Today was a sweet day - Jesus is so sweet.  And we know this is not over - we are playing if we are to "water the seed".    Divine appointments are for HIS purpose and when we are faithful to what HE asks of us -- we benefit - tremendously . 

Luke 6.31 -    Do to others as you would have them do to you.

 Author's Notes:  

In this Blog series - I am trying to be mindful of what to share but also of WHEN to share.  I am very vocal on social media.  In my minds eye, I am slow to speak -- but  when I scroll and choose to seek, I will totally turn off  or scroll past stuff when there is something that is too long or something that I don't want to read.   And sometimes, I pass it by because of conviction.  

 In the last  three years, the enemy has been working SO hard to stifle my voice. 

 And yet, I am also trying to allow my words to 'be few'...that when I write.... when I speak, maybe it will have more readership.  

Then again, I am not writing for readership - but because I am expressing what I believe and feel is God speaking to me and through me.    I also enjoy writing.   Truth be told, I want to collect all of these blogs and publish them - if that is what the Lord leads me to do.  

At a very hard time, when I felt I could rely on NO one, I sought out the internet and heard the Lord speak through some godly blogs, which did help me SEEK more.  So, as I write and publish this today -- Lord -- bless this -- may the right one see and read.  This series, in my prayer and perspective  -- is I pray one reads something about MY Jesus and wants what I write about.   I pray THAT is what is heard and read instead of scrolled past.  And I pray that if you feel led to share - you will.  Bless you - Michelle 

Who is My Jesus? Blog #2 El Roi and Personal

I want to share in a series of some blogs... WHO my Jesus is! 

  This one particular Sunday morning, last  February,  as I was holding SJ,  and praying for a dear one that I had had, another conversation with because she doesn't see eye to eye with me about Jesus and His dying for my sins-- I worshiped and  music took me to HIS throne!!

 I heard Holy Spirit remind me, 'tell her of WHO I am to  you'.    So, this series of blogs has started -- Who is Jesus to me?  Whom is Jesus to you?  

I am writing this today - Saturday, February 20, 2021.  

Today, 5 different people came to my mind  over and over as I enjoyed a Saturday. 

  A cycle ride, visits from a dear son and his bride, a  bridal brunch, laundry, spider relocations, and EZLynx, as well as other things occupied this Saturday.  

 Do you ever find enough time in a Saturday to accomplish everything that you 'put off' until Saturday. ?   

Me?  No.  

But most Saturdays,  I seem to manage and get ONE LAST thing done before crawling into bed and then leave the rest for the NEXT Saturday and feel accomplished!   

Today, in my prayer and conversation time with God, five different people kept coming to mind. 

 I wanted several  of them  to experience my Jesus as their El Roi.  

 I knew one of them was actually with Jesus, and I wanted the other  to have a fresh revelation of Jesus in her  hard season. 

El Roi  is Hebrew for the "God who sees me". 

For me -- THAT is personal.  One of the most awesome experiences is when you know that you know - God DOES see you and brings you or gives you something to affirm your pain...your happiness... your situation....or just fills your being with peace.  

When you know that He sees YOU -- it brings a level of faith that you want to experience over and over.  

When you KNOW that HE sees you -- you are NOT so needy of others.  And... you are different.  

Does that make sense?  I pray it does.  If not, I pray it will. 

  In this series of blogs - my heart is to share WHOM Jesus is to me.  

He is the God who sees me.   El Roi. 

When SJ  yells, "Mimi" or "G-Man", you know it. 

 You can hear her.  

When Ava was little, she'd scream and it would drag out, "MEEEE MEEE" - again, when she saw you, there was a BIG rush of sweetness. 

 When you see a  friend or loved one after being absent from their presence for a time period - you and I know both HOW wonderful it feels to SEE them.   

There have been times when I have wanted to disappear. 

 As a child, when I was in trouble or when I was feeling neglected, I would often run away to the woods.  I would lay down in some hay, and fall asleep until the mosquitos or some bug awoke me.

  I would look around and walk back home.  Most times, I wasn't missed.  Or at least, I felt I wasn't missed. 

 I laugh about this at times, now, as an adult -- and I think of today's world. 

 THERE is no way that one of my grand kids could just walk away and me not notice. 

 Mind you - I grew up on a farm  and there was much activity... and  in a different time period... back then, kids did play outside and had, maybe a little more freedom than I would allow SJ or Ava today. 

 And, I did have a sweet childhood -- this is NOT a cut on my upbringing.  But, as I grew, and experienced circumstances, that is one area the enemy would go and whisper back at me, "see, you were never noticed  as a kid,  you were not wanted, why would you think you are wanted now?"   

The enemy is a Liar. 

Mind you -- I was never told this, and I was raised where I knew I was loved.  It is just - the enemy is a LIAR.  

So often I think..."if the enemy can tempt me at times with these lies and I DID have a good thought life as a kid, then oh my oh my, these poor people who were neglected and abused, and forgotten!"  

 However, he  ( the enemy ) has watched you and me for a LONG time and knows exactly what to whisper....  

Anyway, back to being SEEN.  

As an adult, there have been many times I have wanted to disappear again.  And again, in some of those times -- I was not missed.  I have been in a season where I felt NO one cared to pay attention.  I have also been in a season where I was so ugly in my flesh and in my head, that  I wanted to disappear and not be found and no one really came to find me because I was so 'ugly'.  

But God.   

I told you I was thinking of some precious people today - and praying.  Some of those women, do not believe that God sees them.  They have not had a revelation that Jesus loves them....YET.  I prayed that within their circumstances, they would FEEL HIM  and believe what we have prayed ....that He is a God who sees them.  Sees her.  

A few others of those precious people know exactly WHO Jesus is to them.   I prayed today, that in their hard seasons, they would be reminded that God knows exactly what has transpired and what will come forth - and that they would NOT give up until the freedom comes and/or until there is beauty from the ashes.  

 And one of those precious people -- lives in my  memory --  and I know he is experiencing God as El Roi  as I type.  And he sees God -- as I believe He and Jesus are with Him. 

That precious one is my Grandpa. 

 Well, he is the Grandpa of my husband, but I adopted him as mine - over 30 years ago.  

One of the first times I met Rev. Edwin Ziemann, he pulled me into the front room, sat me down, and asked me quite quickly and frankly -- "did I know Jesus as my Savior?"   That was a conversation that caught me by surprise but, I was  always so grateful he did.  I was only about .... 17. 

I wonder and think back the people that have come into my home -- would I have the boldness to ask, "what is your relationship with Jesus?"  

Praise God my two kids have mates and they adore God and seek HIM - but, Grandpa, that day -- was just being his evangelistic self.  He wanted to know if this young girl that his grandson seemed to be infatuated with -- knew Jesus.  

 In Heaven, if they celebrate birthdays, Edwin, Grandpa Africa is 104 years YOUNG!  

God is the God who sees.  

My Jesus is God. 

I believe God placed those 5 precious souls in my mind and heart today.  Grandpa didn't need prayer, but the other 4 did. 

 Why - cause HE is the God who sees, and I know that my prayers and intercession was important. 

 And as I prayed, I claimed victory over the enemy.  And, even though I may not get to see the fruit of my prayers, I know that my prayers were heard.  

My Jesus is El Roi.  He sees me.  

In the last 12-15 years, there have been many occasions and situations where I was hurt, or scared, and Jesus met me each time. 

 Sometimes, it was through another's words or presence. 

Other times it was during prayer, or in reading God's Written Letter.  The Bible. 

 And even other times, it was a dear friend - reaching out to remind me of HIS character and HOW Good HE is.  

And a few times, it was a weird blog, something I read, or a stranger just smiling at me in a store -- where I knew that  I knew - God was speaking to me.  

El Roi comes from the story of Haggar in Genesis - where, her prayers are heard and she knows that God saw her plight.  

God sees us.

I believe you were drawn to this blog tonight, because God wanted me to remind you - HE sees you.  

He sees your pain, He knows your hurt, and HE won't fail you.  

 I will end with this - 

Lord, for those reading this, for the ones that I prayed for today and for those YOU will lead me to tomorrow..... may they SEE you.  

May they seek you and I know that I know - YOU will be right there. 

 As Your Word says, "my sheep, hear my voice".  God I pray the one...the one that disagrees with me - would SEE you , the REAL you , even as I close this blog. 

 And I give you the praise and the honor - Lord, thank you.  

Who is my Jesus? Blog #1 Details and Obedience

 
I want to share in a series of some blogs... WHO my Jesus is.  Back in February of 2020, I was so frustrated with a loved one -- she does not see what I see in Jesus.  It has caused and been the point of TOO many hurt feelings and conversations that didn't end well.  However, with each of those - prayer followed and God has been reminding me for years -- "I have her".  This one particular Sunday morning, that  February morning as I was holding SJ while praise and worship was filling the air, I heard Holy Spirit remind me, 'tell her of WHO I am to  you'.  

God reminded me of THAT conversation this morning.    I wrote this blog on Saturday, and was awaiting God to EDIT it.  He did this am.  

 Here it is:   IN  November,  I blogged about God being in the details.  I shared a story about having a cyst removed and  having a slight bleeding situation and God -- showed UP, right when I needed HIM through another and HE comforted and  I knew, that He had orchestrated a divine moment to remind me - HOW much HE loves me.  

The photo to the right, is one that makes me smile.  It is a mile marker in my own spiritual journal to KNOW my identity. 

  It was taken in November of 2019 when I was blessed with a "Blessing Encounter" from my family.  That day, brought forth a MUCH needed affirmation that I had been waiting for  -- for almost 10 years.  

THAT is another story or blog.  But, that smile on my face -- if you were around me, yesterday -- YOU would of seen THAT smile.  As GOD met me, through a  "chance" encounter that HE orchestrated.  

The photo at the TOP of this blog is of my Grandparents.  WELL, I claim them.  However, they are my husband's grandparents.  Edwin and Bernice Ziemann.  Today, I received this photo of them.  First of all - I LOVE the laughter and happy in their eyes and smiles.  AND I LOVE how they are holding hands.  I know that in Heaven we 'won't be married'...but THESE two - I bet have mansions pretty close to each other and in the front row of Heaven Lane, able to see Jesus anytime.....  

Anyway -- let me get back to my Encounter yesterday. 

 For some time now, the Lord had been speaking to me about BEING in HIS Word -- and ONLY HIS Word. 

 I do bible study, write prayers, and do EVERYTHING I believe HE wants me to do.  Did you hear that??   .... DO... I can keep busy, I can DO much. 

 Grace is something I had to learn and being STILL in HIS presence  will happen often...but I am learning to SOAK in it.  I am too quick to find some sort of meaning or revelation from that time with HIM and then I stop - or cut it short.  As it seems, I am always too busy.  

So, as  I am  learning to be  STILL in HIM.  I always want to make sure that I am doing WHAT HE wants me to do or again ...be still and wait.   One thing I will remind myself is..."It has to be ME and HIM and my journal" - nothing else.  

For me and my brain - that is HOW I SEE it.    

However, it is VERY easy to slip back into a study or doing something. 

 I have 'fought' this -- probably for a good year or maybe even two. 

 I HEAR Him, He extends me grace, but as I continue to have time with God, there is something to which I KNOW I have not been obedient with.  It was made very aware to my brain again -- yesterday. 

Yesterday, as part of a bible study I am presently in with some family,  Unit 9, it  deals extensively  with obedience. 

 Some activities and questions had me on my knees again and I simply asked God, "why don't I have blogs to write -  anymore?" ....

.....and as clear as I can hear my fingers type on the keyboard, I heard, "I have asked you to be still IN my Word for my Word and when you do, the words will come"...   

  I felt Holy Spirit right there. 

 I knew it.  I felt the enemy try to bully me and remind me of my UNWORTH... but, I just wrote in my bible study book -- I HEAR YOU LORD.    I HEAR YOU -- help me to be  still.... I wrote, "help me to do the study but ALSO sit in YOUR word, each day... NO matter what...may I let NOTHING come first".    I cried. 

 I played some worship music and called  my hubby, and confessed to him as well -- as he had asked me about 2 weeks, ago..."how is YOUR still time with God coming along?"   

When Bren asked, I was MAD... admitting to him that I could not answer - hurt. 

He was gracious.  He showed me grace. 

So, back to yesterday.  Back to WHO Jesus is to me.  

 I had some errands to run, and I grabbed my phone and noticed a message from a person in Cederburg ,  Wisconsin.  She was asking if I was any relation to Edwin or Bernice Ziemann from Mayville, Wisconsin.    

Yes.  

A conversation ensued and I was In AWE of a SWEET SWEET God. 

 El Roi -- HE sees us.  God knew the timing - of course.  God knew the enemy would BEAT me up again and God heard when I said and wrote in my study book, "Does my blog even matter? Does anyone even read it?"  

Julie is my new FB friend.  She was looking through old photos from her Great-Aunt Lucia.  And then she and her brother reminisced about Pastor Ziemann and his wife Bernice.   There were photos of the Ziemann familiy and other family members that have all gone to see Jesus.  

Ziemann --  that name was  very common in her childhood.  A text led to her brother coming across my blog. 

 She grew up -- she has a faith story -- she told me, "we were raised with your family name spoken of with great respect and admiration. Lucia always said that the Gospel Tabernacle was basically birthed in her parents' living room.  My understanding is that Pastor Ziemann was a part of that church plant.  My brother sent me a link to your blog of 2013 where you mentioned your husband's name and his missionary family.  And it included a photo of the Ziemanns.  Then I found you on Facebook"    

Whoa. 

She continued, "Your family had a very significant impact on our family  into the 6th generation.  I know they touched countless lives and I am one of the many.  It will be an honor  of my life to thank them in eternity for all of it.  " 

I read this and was overwhelmed with such an AWE of God -- 

One, this blessed me. 

 Two, this blessed her. 

 And, Three - I was able to share the story with Mom -- ( my mother-n-law ) and her sister - Auntie Pat today.  WOW... WOW.  

El Roi - GOD sees you -- 

HE knows WHAT you need - HE knows WHAT you need and HE wants to remind you that HE Loves you -- 

THAT smile - in my photo at the top -- God wants to plant a smile on YOU so big.  .....EVEN in our hard circumstances and trials -- HE still SEES us.   My Jesus is in the details.  HE knows me.  

 Details -- what are the chances that a blog from 2013 -- would stumble across  Julie's brother's eyes and he sent her a text and she read.  Then she read another blog and contacted me.  Praise God for Facebook and the internet.  

6 generations -- whoa... I WANT to impact 6 generations -- I want someone finding my blog in the year 2034 and may they read between the lines and KNOW that God is in the details.  

Mom ( Marilyn ) remembered Lucia - fondly.  Julie and Mom are going to have a conversation next week. Mom said today, she would sit in church with Lucie while her Daddy preached as Lucia was able to keep she and her sister Pat 'quiet'. 

  Church - sitting on a pew - keeping quiet - THAT I can relate to.   Julie sent us several photos, and today looking at the elders -- who listened to Holy Spirit and planted churches back in the early 40's and 50's ... legacy...  whoa.  I am in awe of God.  

As I said, I want to leave a legacy - I don't think our world will tarry to 2034...but, then again - It may. 

God's Kingdom Calendar is HIS.  Either way -- I know we should be living a life that shows others -- HE is Lord - and THIS is my Jesus.  HE knows how these obscure and random 'findings' of my blog -- make me KNOW - HE is the God who SEES and hears me.  

So, a simple prayer to end here -- WHAT does El Roi want you to SEE?  

May HE be that ONE to place a smile on you -- may HE remind you today, that HE LOVED you -- LOVES you .. Amen.   

Lord, I also pray that as I write about YOU - and HOW you love me... God I pray that just one - or many will read and WANT what I experienced and just ASK, as I know YOU LOVE them - as much as YOU love me...   and that -- YOU died for him or her too -- and, I pray that they'd know and understand that Jesus would go to that CROSS again for them - but PRAISE God - PRAISE YOU Lord, that HE does not have to do it again... Amen.