Saturday, February 13, 2021

Who is my Jesus? Blog #1 Details and Obedience

 
I want to share in a series of some blogs... WHO my Jesus is.  Back in February of 2020, I was so frustrated with a loved one -- she does not see what I see in Jesus.  It has caused and been the point of TOO many hurt feelings and conversations that didn't end well.  However, with each of those - prayer followed and God has been reminding me for years -- "I have her".  This one particular Sunday morning, that  February morning as I was holding SJ while praise and worship was filling the air, I heard Holy Spirit remind me, 'tell her of WHO I am to  you'.  

God reminded me of THAT conversation this morning.    I wrote this blog on Saturday, and was awaiting God to EDIT it.  He did this am.  

 Here it is:   IN  November,  I blogged about God being in the details.  I shared a story about having a cyst removed and  having a slight bleeding situation and God -- showed UP, right when I needed HIM through another and HE comforted and  I knew, that He had orchestrated a divine moment to remind me - HOW much HE loves me.  


The photo to the right, is one that makes me smile.  It is a mile marker in my own spiritual journal to KNOW my identity. 

  It was taken in November of 2019 when I was blessed with a "Blessing Encounter" from my family.  That day, brought forth a MUCH needed affirmation that I had been waiting for  -- for almost 10 years.  

THAT is another story or blog.  But, that smile on my face -- if you were around me, yesterday -- YOU would of seen THAT smile.  As GOD met me, through a  "chance" encounter that HE orchestrated.  


The photo at the TOP of this blog is of my Grandparents.  WELL, I claim them.  However, they are my husband's grandparents.  Edwin and Bernice Ziemann.  Today, I received this photo of them.  First of all - I LOVE the laughter and happy in their eyes and smiles.  AND I LOVE how they are holding hands.  I know that in Heaven we 'won't be married'...but THESE two - I bet have mansions pretty close to each other and in the front row of Heaven Lane, able to see Jesus anytime.....  


Anyway -- let me get back to my Encounter yesterday. 

 For some time now, the Lord had been speaking to me about BEING in HIS Word -- and ONLY HIS Word. 

 I do bible study, write prayers, and do EVERYTHING I believe HE wants me to do.  Did you hear that??   .... DO... I can keep busy, I can DO much. 

 Grace is something I had to learn and being STILL in HIS presence  will happen often...but I am learning to SOAK in it.  I am too quick to find some sort of meaning or revelation from that time with HIM and then I stop - or cut it short.  As it seems, I am always too busy.  

So, as  I am  learning to be  STILL in HIM.  I always want to make sure that I am doing WHAT HE wants me to do or again ...be still and wait.   One thing I will remind myself is..."It has to be ME and HIM and my journal" - nothing else.  

For me and my brain - that is HOW I SEE it.    


However, it is VERY easy to slip back into a study or doing something. 

 I have 'fought' this -- probably for a good year or maybe even two. 

 I HEAR Him, He extends me grace, but as I continue to have time with God, there is something to which I KNOW I have not been obedient with.  It was made very aware to my brain again -- yesterday. 

Yesterday, as part of a bible study I am presently in with some family,  Unit 9, it  deals extensively  with obedience. 

 Some activities and questions had me on my knees again and I simply asked God, "why don't I have blogs to write -  anymore?" ....

.....and as clear as I can hear my fingers type on the keyboard, I heard, "I have asked you to be still IN my Word for my Word and when you do, the words will come"...   

  I felt Holy Spirit right there. 

 I knew it.  I felt the enemy try to bully me and remind me of my UNWORTH... but, I just wrote in my bible study book -- I HEAR YOU LORD.    I HEAR YOU -- help me to be  still.... I wrote, "help me to do the study but ALSO sit in YOUR word, each day... NO matter what...may I let NOTHING come first".    I cried. 

 I played some worship music and called  my hubby, and confessed to him as well -- as he had asked me about 2 weeks, ago..."how is YOUR still time with God coming along?"   

When Bren asked, I was MAD... admitting to him that I could not answer - hurt. 

He was gracious.  He showed me grace. 

So, back to yesterday.  Back to WHO Jesus is to me.  

 I had some errands to run, and I grabbed my phone and noticed a message from a person in Cederburg ,  Wisconsin.  She was asking if I was any relation to Edwin or Bernice Ziemann from Mayville, Wisconsin.    


Yes.  

A conversation ensued and I was In AWE of a SWEET SWEET God. 


 El Roi -- HE sees us.  God knew the timing - of course.  God knew the enemy would BEAT me up again and God heard when I said and wrote in my study book, "Does my blog even matter? Does anyone even read it?"  


Julie is my new FB friend.  She was looking through old photos from her Great-Aunt Lucia.  And then she and her brother reminisced about Pastor Ziemann and his wife Bernice.   There were photos of the Ziemann familiy and other family members that have all gone to see Jesus.  

Ziemann --  that name was  very common in her childhood.  A text led to her brother coming across my blog. 

 She grew up -- she has a faith story -- she told me, "we were raised with your family name spoken of with great respect and admiration. Lucia always said that the Gospel Tabernacle was basically birthed in her parents' living room.  My understanding is that Pastor Ziemann was a part of that church plant.  My brother sent me a link to your blog of 2013 where you mentioned your husband's name and his missionary family.  And it included a photo of the Ziemanns.  Then I found you on Facebook"    


Whoa. 

She continued, "Your family had a very significant impact on our family  into the 6th generation.  I know they touched countless lives and I am one of the many.  It will be an honor  of my life to thank them in eternity for all of it.  " 


I read this and was overwhelmed with such an AWE of God -- 

One, this blessed me. 

 Two, this blessed her. 

 And, Three - I was able to share the story with Mom -- ( my mother-n-law ) and her sister - Auntie Pat today.  WOW... WOW.  


El Roi - GOD sees you -- 

HE knows WHAT you need - HE knows WHAT you need and HE wants to remind you that HE Loves you -- 

THAT smile - in my photo at the top -- God wants to plant a smile on YOU so big.  .....EVEN in our hard circumstances and trials -- HE still SEES us.   My Jesus is in the details.  HE knows me.  

 Details -- what are the chances that a blog from 2013 -- would stumble across  Julie's brother's eyes and he sent her a text and she read.  Then she read another blog and contacted me.  Praise God for Facebook and the internet.  

6 generations -- whoa... I WANT to impact 6 generations -- I want someone finding my blog in the year 2034 and may they read between the lines and KNOW that God is in the details.  

Mom ( Marilyn ) remembered Lucia - fondly.  Julie and Mom are going to have a conversation next week. Mom said today, she would sit in church with Lucie while her Daddy preached as Lucia was able to keep she and her sister Pat 'quiet'. 

  Church - sitting on a pew - keeping quiet - THAT I can relate to.   Julie sent us several photos, and today looking at the elders -- who listened to Holy Spirit and planted churches back in the early 40's and 50's ... legacy...  whoa.  I am in awe of God.  


As I said, I want to leave a legacy - I don't think our world will tarry to 2034...but, then again - It may. 

God's Kingdom Calendar is HIS.  Either way -- I know we should be living a life that shows others -- HE is Lord - and THIS is my Jesus.  HE knows how these obscure and random 'findings' of my blog -- make me KNOW - HE is the God who SEES and hears me.  


So, a simple prayer to end here -- WHAT does El Roi want you to SEE?  

May HE be that ONE to place a smile on you -- may HE remind you today, that HE LOVED you -- LOVES you .. Amen.   

Lord, I also pray that as I write about YOU - and HOW you love me... God I pray that just one - or many will read and WANT what I experienced and just ASK, as I know YOU LOVE them - as much as YOU love me...   and that -- YOU died for him or her too -- and, I pray that they'd know and understand that Jesus would go to that CROSS again for them - but PRAISE God - PRAISE YOU Lord, that HE does not have to do it again... Amen.  

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