and the story goes on....

...we are all a work in progress....we get healing....we live....the enemy will  try to oppress us again...we refuel...and fight the good fight....get healing.....have peace....and then live some more....

Does that seem like defeat?  I don't think so -- this is life...real life....being real.

I did a lot of thinking today.  My last blog post spoke about 'pain won't kill you'...I had fasted 5 days for a dear friend and wanted a fresh word from God.

Not only did I get a fresh word, but many blessings as God just worked in and out of my life that week and last week.

Today I was reminded of something else.....

Psm 57:2 says...I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills HIS purpose for me.

I know that in my response to many things now...I want to do what God wants me to do.  I want to hear him say, "well, done by blond beauty...you hung on".  I stop and think sometimes -- how did I? Was I so stubborn?  God put that longing in my heart......I believe HE is sovereign over all.

I wanted to fulfill HIS purpose for me, as I knew ....HE would bless and reward and give back what the locust had stolen.

HE is doing that.  In little bits here and there...slowly...in HIS time and it is just astounding.


I also thought of this......


And Psalm 55: 16   But I call to God and the Lord saves me.  Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice...HE ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me......vs. 22  Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you..he will never let the righteous fall.   


Yesterday Beth Moore blogged about this verse....cast your cares...throw them to HIM.

 I went to her blog today on  the LIving Proof Ministries site.  The name of her ministry is 'living proof'.  She always says she is walking living proof of how God can change a person.

I went back two years in my blog posts and read.  I went back to a few specific blog posts from her that spoke volumes to me in the past three years.

I thought about many changes that have happened to me in the past few years.   Here is just one example:

If you would of told me last Memorial Day that my house would be sold, we would  move 2x, and I would be preparing to entertain people that my husband invited....I would of thought - NO WAY.   ( We have not entertained guests in literally years and for Brendan to do the inviting.)    Last Memorial Day, I was planning on the ending of something and there was no entertaining!

Anyway, like Beth says....living proof.

I am living proof of a miracle.  I mean, I did not overcome some major disease or anything but, from my perspective....I was one very lost and hurt soul and I literally believed that God had forgotten me.  I was wrong....living proof....

I was a woman with defeat, hurt, and I did not have the freedom that Christ intended for me and getting that finally - was a miracle!

My marriage is living proof...that God restores.

My man is a living proof of God's grace, favor, and restoration.

My new home is living proof that God does give us the desires of our hearts.  Both Bren and I walk around our home and just thank God.  We know and acknowledge that God did this.

To see something come back to life....that was literally dead...that is a miracle...living proof of HIS power and majesty.

I have seen so much, experienced so much in the past year alone....I am humbled.

Today, was a day of reflection.  I prayed and fasted yesterday for a pal.   Today, I continued to pray but I reflected and believed that freedom, complete freedom was coming.  It is a process.  There has been healing....but there is more to come.  She is very real....our lives are very real.....and she will be living proof.

 Today...I reflected, in peace.   As I said,  my friend is still dealing with some hardships...but I believe that this....  will pass...this.... will be another miracle....HE is fulfilling HIS purpose for her.

HE is.

I believe that.

The end of Psalm 55 says -- But as for me, I trust in you.


Lord, I trust in you.  When I finally did...so many things changed, but it was a process.

 Our story still goes on.  My friend wants freedom and total healing -- it is coming, I know.

Pain will not kill us....it brings us closer to HIM.

Today was Memorial Day. A day to remind us as to why we have freedom in our country.

 But I am talking freedom within our lives.  True freedom  through Christ to know that you know, your name is in the lamb's book of life, to know that HE does fulfill HIS purpose in us, and to live in freedom and love...to be real.  Lord.....thank you -I am so humbled, blessed....and in awe of YOU.

- your daughter.