In the middle of our pain at times - it is hard to see the GOOD....it is hard to think that GOD is really fighting for us....but HE is. HE is.
I can remember a time when I thought I was abandoned.
I can remember a time ( not too long ago ) when I was so mad at God.
I have done....and done.....and did.....and was here.....and did that.....and even I ....... and yet, it still did not seem to 'make a difference'.
Life is so hard. HIS word does say, it won't be easy. Dah.
But, God does give us that new day each morning.
God does bring forth the rainbow and sunshine after cloudy days.
HE does.
Today I was reminded of a time when I believe I saw the 'eyes of God'. The YELLOW I saw and experienced was like only the edge of God's face, I mean I think in my own mind I maybe saw HIS eyes for a spilt second and then all I saw was the glory ..the yellow...the sunshine or just pure radiance.
I don't know, but it gave me such comfort.
I knew at that moment - I was going to be FINE. HE would take care of me and no matter WHAT the circumstances....I was going to be ok.
This did not come overnight. It was a process. Funny ...I hated that word 'process' . Hated it. It was used by counselors and godly counsel. I want things fixed and fixed NOW...why does it have to take so long.
Why do we have to wait?
However, God knows. HIS timing is perfect and in our waiting...HE really changes us.
Most times, we don't realize it until 'after' it happens.
Journaling helps. Write down what God is telling you and how you feel today. Read it a month later and see the revelations. Read it a year later and WOW.
I did that this week. I read my blog from a year ago. Wow. Oh God I praise and ThaNK you for the glory and healing that continues to happen. As it has only JUST been a year since I posted,...I think I can say -- 'this is going to work'....my marriage will probably survive the heartache and troubles of the past 5-7 years. It was just a year ago, when I felt, or my feelings came into agreement with my faith. I mean, I had been proclaiming a healing, and believing in a healing, but I was not 'feeling' it. And it has only been in the past 6-7 months when I have seen the glory of HIS redemption within our marriage, as digging into HIS word and having a fear of the Lord has changed my husband. It has changed me, and as we both sought HIM....HE began to bind us together again, as one flesh. As husband and wife. That indeed is the 'proof' of the miracle. We both acknowledge, we are a walking miracle. So, I will forever hold onto the promises of God...NOThing for HIM is impossible! Nothing. Problems just don't happen...they progress slowly and before you know it - bang - bingo, it manifests itself into something that can't be ignored.
Dah.
But, now I can say....that I do trust God enough to allow the healing to be a process as THAT is HIS ultimate plan. These stumbling blocks and deterrents are being used by HIM. Nothing is wasted in HIS healing.
I can attest to the fact, that a slow healing....is JUST as good as an INSTANT one. As both are HIS plan. Remember, God does not have a Plan B. Amen.
I can also attest to the fact that HE and me had to fall back in love with each other. Well, God never 'left' me but I left HIM. And God and Brendan had to fall back in love with each other. And when those relationships were healed and then worked at....the rest then could begin to work. Indeed, it was...no IT IS a lot of HARD work, but it is so worthwhile! Worthwhile!
So, as I come to post today and pray in my 40 days of prayer for these beloved sisters in Christ, I wanted to just encourage them.....watch and look for the good.
Ask GOD to see HIS face and watch, HE will answer you.
Hang in there -- HE is working in the midst.
It is a process and one day you will look back on this and see HOW much HE loved ...loves you enough to discipline you, to guide you...to shape you ..and to rebuild you. HAng in there!
You are special to me...but OH so much more special to HIM! HE esteems you so much. Your faithfulness and your grace being shown to the ones who hurt and harm you...is being credited to you as righteousness.
Amen.
Father God..
Lord, this prayer is for my sister's in Christ . I have not stopped thanking God for them......you..... I pray for them constantly, 17 asking you God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give her spiritual wisdom[f] and insight so that she might grow in the knowledge of YOU, God. 18 I pray that her heart will be flooded with light so that she can understand the confident hope YOU have given to those you call—MY holy people who are rich and in glorious inheritance.[g]
19 I also pray that she will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. 21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with him. Lord, she probably already understands that she is a part of that body, may she understand that she is loved and the hurt that is causing a season of great prayer be lifted....ended....or adjusted....for a moment so she can get a glimpse of YOUR power and your redemption.
Amen.
A few years ago, I had a dream....it started in the dark, like a tunnel, and as I walked through that tunnel, there were all those that had hurt me if some form through out my life....at the end I could see someone holding a door open and through the door...I saw a brilliant light....the someone keep beckoning me to come.... I have not forgotten that dream for all this time. The more I read about the things that you write here.....I am convinced that, "that someone" must have been my LORD.
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