...gone off the deep end--

This phrase is one I have heard several times.  In thinking yesterday and in communication with God today, I have often asked Him, "what went wrong?".  "Where was the offense?".  "Why?".  

I believe He reminded me of the scripture from John that says, John 10:10 (NIV)

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

No matter what -- the enemy does not stop.  He is at work all the time.  

It hurts a lot.  

I was reminded of the show I loved to watch as a kid.  Bewitched.  There was always a problem and usually Samantha would twitch her nose and fix it.  In my childhood and even as a young adult, I  remember lots of times that I would close my eyes, pray, and ask God - could you just twitch your nose and FIX this NOW!??  

So, now when I see or hear of a marriage in deep crisis, I  pray and wonder.  

I am not "IN"  those conversations nor can I  be like Samantha and pop on into the kitchen when a married couple are chatting about their day -- but sometimes I want to.   I want to know HOW or WHY it happend.   I want to know HOW to pray and I want to sometimes slap them both and ask them to seek God! 

  Why would a wife all of a sudden "go off the deep end?"   Why would a husband all of a sudden "go off the deep end?".  

I don't have all the answers but I know it was probably not "all of a sudden".  I have learned from life experiences and seen enough that most often, this just DID NOT happen.  It had been happening  for some time.    It was happening for some time.  

There is a song, "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns. 

Be careful little eyes what you see

It's the second glance that ties your hands

As darkness pulls the strings

Be careful little feet where you go

For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray

And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear

When flattering leads to compromises, the end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say

For empty words and promises leave broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

This SLOW FADE is a tactic of the enemy.  I remember listening and praying this song when our marriage was in crisis.  I would beg God for answers and ask him, "what went wrong" but as I continued to seek God, I believed  and knew -- God allowed the crisis because HE needed us BOTH closer to Him.  God allowed it to play out - as He knew our hearts.  

         A marriage taking a deep turn, where one of the partners 'goes off the deep end' is so very disheartening and hurtful.  For the one standing there, wondering what on earth happened it can appear that there is no hope.  But there is hope -- there is God.

         Perhaps it was the enemy tempting and whispering to that spouse over and over and feeding him or her  lies that indeed pushed  him or her into making those  wrong choices;   but I  also believe that  it could of been his or her  our own sinfulness and selfishness that made him or her  ....go off the deep end!

Whether it is the enemy or it is consequences of choices  -- there is still HOPE!  

        There is also the plain and simple fact that the one going off the deep end is so emotionally hurt that --as they continue to go off the deep end -- it is just a big simple cry for help!
        The  wife or husband, who  has to stand or sit and watch -- it can be very frustrating and so hurtful.  Especially if there are children involved.
Even watching it from afar -- is also torture and disheartening!

So, tonight this is a prayer for  that spouse whose spouse has gone off the deep end -- this prayer is just to believe and hope that God can redeem and your marriage does not have to be over, but to indeed decide what you will do - now that he or she has gone off the deep end.....
Lord, this evening I am praying for the one spouse who feels the one they love has gone off the deep end:    God, You are my refuge and strength, an ever- present help in trouble.  Lord, You are their HOPE.  Therefore, I pray they  will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging...they  will be still and know You are God.  You, Lord Almighty, are with them. You, God of Jacob , are their  fortress! 
And a prayer for the one who is going off the deep end:Lord, I cry out to you.  I can see that I am hurting my family.  I can see that I am hurting my spouse but I can't seem to stop.  Show me Lord, HOW.....Show me Lord what to do next.  Show me how to come back from this -- but first Lord, forgive me and know that my heart that wants to seek you, be a child of you, and become free of this bondage...in Jesus name.