Faith over Feelings Prayer/Day #10 -- I am married to Donny Osmond!

So, if you are following this series of prayer blogs, then you realize that I may be off one day, but I gave myself a holiday on the 4th and today is Day #10. 

10 has some GREAT significance.  
First of all if you are a math teacher, you realize the COOLNESS of 10 and if you are into scripture and the value of numbers -- you also know how COOL 10 is. 

In the Bible, the number 10 is used 242 times. The designation "10th" is used 79 times. Ten is also viewed as a complete and perfect number, as is 3, 7 and 12. It is made up of 4, the number of the physical creation, and 6, the number of man. As such, 10 signifies testimony, law, responsibility and the completeness of order.

In Genesis 1 we find the phrase "God said" 10 times, which is a testimony of His creative power.
 God gave the 10 Commandments to man. Ten therefore represents man's responsibility to keep the commandments. 

A tithe is a 10th of our earnings and is a testimony of our faith in the Lord.

The Passover lamb was selected on day 10 of the 1st month (Exodus 12:3), as was Jesus, the Lamb that takes away the sins of the world (John 12:28 - 29; 1Corinthians 5:7). Day 10 of the 7th month is also the Holy Day known as the Day of Atonement. This unique day of fasting pictures the removal of Satan, the author of sin, before the Millennial reign of Jesus begins (Revelation 20:1 - 2).

What does the number ten and Donny Osmond have to do with today's blog?  ...reality.  

I felt Holy Spirit gave me this blog yesterday and as I wrestled with it, talked in my head to myself and sought God, I found myself laughing.  Seriously?  If you know me - you know my childhood crush on Donny Osmond.   

What it is about him?  Well, as a child and one of nine siblings, I noticed they had a BIG family.  And I watched and grew up in the 70's watching TV.  Watching the Brady Bunch.  Watching Eight is Enough and watching how others behaved and got along.  It was my view to the outside world and it was what helped me believe that my family too -- could be that TV family.  What can I say, TV does influence.  It does.  Media does influence, it does.  

Ok, so back to Donny -- I have probably seen every video on You Tube.  I would tape their TV show on a cassette player, as I was outside helping my Dad milk the cows,  and listen to it later that night cause I had NO clue what a VHS recorder was, nor did we have one! ( Or could afford one!)   I found old  VHS tapes  on the Donny and Marie Web site and paid a pretty penny to order them and made my kids watch.  That was indeed fun and they admit d it was a variety show.  Almost all of their shows from the 70's  were played and replayed  on Saturdays in our home  back in the 90's!  I have read almost every bit of text written and even read his book.  I can tell you the names of his sons and I used to know the names  of his Grandkids but now there are too many ...that is getting creepy... I know... right? 
 He is a social media freak and shares much -- but please...keep reading.  

The point is -- as a child, he became an idol.  He isn't now.  He is a FUN  crush and what I enjoy  is reading  about him, listening to him, and watching at times.  ( Like going to Vegas last February!) 

However, I married Donny Osmond.  

I didn't realize it back in 1983....but, I married my idol.  I was in love and he was cute -- handsome...still is.  But, I married a man whom I thought was perfect.  

Unfortunately, I wasn't mature and placed him so high on a pedestal and made him an idol that I nearly suffocated him and me both.  

"Man will always fail us".... and Bren failed me - and yet, I failed God.  

God knew.  He allowed.  And that glass house I had created with him in it -- broke.   We have about ten years....of yuck.   

 There...that is the connection to the number ten.  

My point to this is -- time can be an enemy but in reality -- time is something God created and He created it perfectly.  

I had placed my husband before my Lord.  He was the one that I focused on.  He was my idol.  The Prince Charming that was my soul mate for my lifetime.  


If you know my story  or our story, you know we went through about 3 very ROUGH years....but, many didn't see the four  years  leading up to those three and then the three afterwards where healing began and was worked at -- daily.  In my head - 2004 - 2014 was the season God allowed to grow us both! 

It took faith over my feelings.    It took faith on Brendan's part over his feelings. 

It took faith to believe that my marriage wasn't over when many told me it was.  
It took faith to believe that he would  want our marriage when he had stated, 'he never was in love from day one'. 
It took faith to believe that  God could change a person's heart.  Now....he was willing to have his heart changed as God moved and orchestrated so much.  I do believe we have free will, but I also believe that God is up there -- moving mountains and allowing circumstances to fall because of our choices ....that.... God does draw those wandering back in and His Word does change the heart.  


It has to be...
I have to have faith that people can change -- through Christ.  Otherwise -- why even pray or have hope?  


So, today -- in Day #10 of this series of prayers, I am being transparent and stating....or asking...is your husband an idol?  Is your boyfriend an idol?   Is there something else that is an idol?   Is there something that demands your time  -- that there is no time to really get to know God?  Is there something or someone or even a hurt that keeps you from being a part of a family of believers each week and serve?  What keeps you from being the hands and feet of Christ?  
Have you responded to the Great Commission?  


What is your passion?  
What do you think about the moment you wake up?  

I have to be clear here -- my husband did make some choices that broke me and our children and yet, he has also made choices that have rebuilt our home...our children...and God has used  our story to give hope to others.  

We both will attest and we agree -- it sucked, it was hard, but we both know we wouldn't change what happened -- cause it brought us both to rely on HIM.  And ONLY HIM.  And it took those ten years.  

  Back to idols, for me - it was my family for SO many years, to display the perfect family with the perfect house and that perfect display each Sunday .... 35 to be exact -- but at 45, something changed and I was so broken that I needed a Savior.  I believe I knew of Jesus before that -- but HE didn't become my Savior and God didn't become 1st -- until a fateful weekend back in February of 2011.  

Lord, for the one or many reading this -- I pray they don't have idols.  I pray they DO know that Jesus is their true Savior and that God is the head.  I pray Holy Spirit has permission to speak and convict and they hear Him -- daily.  I pray that whatever they are 'feeling'.....that is a knowledge that their faith IS indeed stronger than their feelings.  


And Lord, I am praying for that one special girl.  I call her a girl -- and yet, she is a young woman.  A married woman - who is seeking YOUR faith and her faith over the hurt feelings right now of betrayal.  Goodness Lord...ONLY YOU know how the marriage will finally end....redeemed or dissolved.  However, Lord..... I pray that she is doing exactly what you want ....whether it is waiting or releasing because YOU have commissioned it.  Either way Lord...I know that I know -- YOU have made her a promise -- and SHE will SEE the victory in this - in YOUR time.  IJN  AMEN. 

 

Faith over Feelings BOLD prayers Day#9 -- He told her, "I no longer love you".

I have to admit, when I hear those words, I immediately can allow my thoughts to go backwards as I heard those words before, but I make a conscience decision to remind myself what God tells me.

I have to believe my faith over the feelings that are welling up within me.  

God tells me I am the head and not the tail.
God tells me that He died for me.
God tells me that He sent His only Son so that I might live.
God tells me the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. 
God tells me I am His esteemed daughter.
God tells me I am deeply loved.
God tells me that HE will hold my right hand and guide me!  

God tells me so much more -- but I need to state something.

Often, I hear this statement, "he said he no longer loves me" - often.  A precious woman that loves God is seeking  some counsel. 

 I admit, I wish I had a PHD in psychology  or some counseling  degree posted on my wall, but I don't.  I have some life experiences that have molded and shaped me and I do know some scripture that tells me  - God wins!!   However, even  as I pray and seek God, I too ask myself at times, "Lord, how can I help her?"  


I seek  these two scriptures: 

"He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"
 Phil 1.6


 "I waiting patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry." Psm. 40.1

So, what can I tell her?  

Dear one - beloved,   Your heavenly Father loves you and has allowed this season within your life and within your marriage to get your attention.  His heart hurts too that your husband is NOT being the head of the household as He intended, but indeed God can help you and be RIGHT with you as you walk out this season and believe that indeed  - God can change hearts!   
Dear  beloved --  I know what it feels like to hear your husband tell you ALL that you  have done wrong.  I know how it feels to hear all the 'bad' and think -- you will never see any good!  I know what it feels like to see and look at a situation that seems hopeless - but I want to encourage you -- God can win!  

Dear beloved,  when a husband says that he does not love you  anymore it can be for many reasons.  Yes, it can be because he has decided to love another.  Yes, it can be because he is deep in some sort of sexual sin.  And yes, it can be just because he is tired.   It is hard to exactly pin point exactly the WHAT or the WHY -- but all you can do is accept the words but, I pray you won't allow them to penetrate your soul.

Let me explain, when a person is not seeking Jesus, asking Jesus to fill  up their heart and soul, and calling upon Jesus for guidance and direction -- then WHOM are they listening too?  

I believe they are choosing to listen to the enemy.  When a husband wants out of a marriage or  whatever -- I do believe that it is not because of "you" -- but because of WHOM they are listening too.  They are deceived. 


The enemy. 
 Satan.  
"The Evil one" as my nephew says.  
Because if a man was seeking God and he was upset or there was really something that was deeply troubling to him, he would pray and seek you as his wife to help SOLVE the problem.  He would also ask you to seek counsel with him and he would want to make sure that above all things -- He was pleasing God first and then his wife and family.  

 
However -- many marriages don't 'run' like this.  Sometimes it takes a MAJOR breakdown or problem for each to see there is something wrong and maybe it is BOTH that need a good God fixing.  But -- that can be sorted out later -- my point is this -- 

YOU my dear beloved and precious friend -- can only DEAL with you and your thoughts and feelings and you can only CHANGE yourself.   So, with God on your side and by taking a good God look into the marriage and relationship -- I do believe there is HOPE and there can be a good outcome.   I call these 360's or full circle.  As I believe that God, who began a GOOD work in you -- won't stop until it is in completion.   However...we must align ourselves with HIM and submit our lives totally to HIM first.  

And, I know also that God can work through divorce and remarriage.  God can also work through a donkey -- just read the story in the bible.  God is creative and wants His best for his children, but so often the choices we have made bring forth consequences that indeed can hurt us and hinder us, but I must believe that through it all -- Good can be achieved and God's design is the ultimate perfect plan -- so we must do our best to get back into that plan.  

So...  my sweet precious daughter of the MOST High God -- make a list  of what you may need to repent for and seek forgiveness of or for.   Make a list of those 'bad' things and begin to ask God to help you change WHAT you can and then change what or how the rest are perceived by your husband.  

If your husband loves Jesus -- well, let's be honest -- if he really loves Jesus he is seeking you for prayer as well, but if your husband is seeking his own gods...then begin to make a list of what you can pray over him.   Your prayers over him are powerful.   Begin to show and extend grace and mercy to your husband and allow the Lord to begin to soften his heart.  

If you are in ANY danger, please seek help or call 911 -- there is no need to feel unsafe in your own home.  Get 2-3 women to be prayer warriors with you and pray about asking 1-2 women to hold you accountable for your own daily walk with God.  And begin each day -- praising God for this season.  

As this season, can change you -- for the better!  You can become bitter or better -- I myself was a bit angry and bitter for a good 1-2  months but then decided that I was going to be better.    It was a LONG haul and a process -- but God walked me through each moment and each step.  When I wanted to quit and give up on my marriage or my husband, God sent a prayer warrior or some sort of living angel to encourage me and remind me that indeed God can win!  

I also sought help - counsel from a godly woman and I sought the internet and read a few Christian Blogs that encouraged me and gave me hope.  I also sought some references like Crosswalk. Com and Focus on the Family.  There are MANY resources out there -- there is HOPE.  

Lord, I pray for this one -- may her faith win over her feelings.  May there me victory in you.  May she know what she needs to do as she will answer to You one day.  Lord, hold her --  In Jesus name, Amen.  

Faith over Feelings. BOLD prayer for the lost - Day #8

Often Christians get a bad rap. 
 And perhaps -- rightly so.  
In the 'name' of Christ -- many were killed and martyred.  
In the 'name of Christ -- many were murdered.  

And even many, who claim to be Christlike ....still do many un- Christlike things.    Including me.  I am very unworthy and full of my flesh on some days.  I am human and yet, I have a passion to want to try and 'save you'....but that is NOT my job. 

 That is why Jesus came.  Holy Spirit convicts, God draws you near, and Jesus is the Savior.  


Jesus did come as an example of how we are to live.  He was perfect.

  Some religions believe he was a created being.  Another religion believes he is the brother of Lucifer.   Others feel he was a good man and maybe a prophet but don't believe He is a part of the Trinity and that He was a part of that Trinity even as the world was created.  


I believe He was.  I believe He is fully God and became fully man - for me.  I believe  He died on that Cross and rose from the dead.  For me. And for you. 

He was David's root and the Lamb who died to ransom the slave - me.  

He is the Lion of Judah who conquered the grave - for me.  

Is anyone else able to break the seal and open the scroll?   No, not I! 

Either you believe that and have faith in that -- or maybe your feelings tell you otherwise.  

Maybe you 'just know' ....or have formed in your mind and heart that God is love and Jesus was a good person, but not the Savior.  That God is oneness and love and that you can be the light within you.  

Or maybe  you have read and feel that God is so much bigger than any of 'this' and that no matter what, there is no hell and heaven is for everyone. That all roads lead to God.      

Maybe God is really not THE God but just a god.  


THAT is what I mean when I speak about the lost.  Lost in  this world.   

 Yet, many of those good people - those 'spiritual' people don't believe they are  lost.  Yet.... they feel I may be narrow minded and wrong.  

You know - it's not that I 'feel' or think I am better. 

I am a sinner -- saved by grace and I don't take this lightly.  I want to stay in tune with the vine and continually grow. 

I want all the promises of God - His Word is alive, a living Word.  

 I don't want to be the one this one from Matthew 7: 

21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’


The statement was made to me, "God doesn't create you in His image and then send or punish you to hell".  

God didn't created hell for me - He created hell for Satan and his angels that turned their backs on God.  

I don't believe God sends anyone to hell - we choose our way there.  And I believe that there will be many 'good' people in hell.  

I believe God's Word.  God's Word has survived 2000 years...  there are over 15,000 manuscripts written by over 40 different people over  a span of 1500 years that all SAY the same thing.    Many of those manuscripts were written within 30 years of when Christ died.   So a first hand account.   This can be proved.  Real documents.  Real proof.  This makes sense!    

Even the works of Plato, Socrates, and Shakespeare ... have only 1000 copies that were  written after  their lifetime ...100 years past their existence.   And yet, we use them in college for classes and call upon their wisdom and words.  Yet...there are ONLY 1000 or so copies.  And yet... 15,000 of God's Word.  

Can you see the irony?  How can you refute the validity of what God has made sure -- is front of us.  His Word...His Love letter to us.   Yet, so many will make it so difficult or read anything and everything under the sun....and still be deceived and not even open God's Word to find out for themselves.  


It does break my heart when close family or friends have a warped or wrong view of God.  They are determined and know that they know, they are right and I am wrong.  

Or I am too narrow minded.   Perhaps if I only would 'allow' the possibility that there is MORE God wants to show and teach me......


I do agree - God has MUCH more from me, but where is the source ..where is it coming from?  God's Word... or our feelings and our own heads?  

I wrestled with this blog yesterday.  I wrestled with one that thinks I am narrow minded and wrong.   And I had to be reminded that  it is not my responsibility to change her thoughts -- only God can.   She has free will, but I believe in God's Word:  

In Matthew 18: 
14 Now you should understand that it is never the desire of your heavenly Father that a single one of these humble believers should be lost.”


And as I wrestled and sought God -- He answered --  this am -- God spoke to me through a text and confirmed it in my heart through another.    He hears.  

His sheep hear him.  

John 10 says: 

27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.

Part of what God spoke to me today was through a prayer I received. 

 It it worth posting -- if you have a loved one who is lost -- join the faith in this prayer and pray it with me and we will have faith over our feelings that our loved ones, who are lost, will be saved.   This prayer was for  "her" but you could change the prayer for a "him" or even insert their name...   

Iron sharpens iron and I am so grateful and thankful that I have godly friends that listen to the Holy Spirit.  I vented to a few of them yesterday.  And yet, God knew what He would speak over another early this am.  I never spoke to the one who texted me a prayer today.   And she sent me this:  

       Father, I lift my sister today, I bring her and my sisters from our Bible study to your throne room and I pour them at your feet!   I thank you Father that you are not surprised by anything, there is no step we are called to take that you haven't already seen and made provision for!  No place we have to go that you haven't been! 
         So we can have full confidence that you - the creator of heaven and earth, the alpha and omega, the lover of our souls, know exactly where we are, what we feel and carry the healing we need!   
        Thank you Lord for making us whole again! This am, I, Father, stand with my sister as we choose YOU!  We choose YOUR peace!  We choose YOUR plan! We choose to stand in confidence and faith in  You!   We choose to feel your presence!   And we choose to praise and worship you!  

 Thank you for your faithfulness today and forever more!!  In Jesus Name, I pray your promises to your children over myself and my sister!  Amen.  

I was floored.  And wept with holy hands as I thanked God for reminding me that what I had prayed and felt and faithed the day before ...was indeed sanctioned or blessed by HIM!    THIS is indeed such a inner joy -- to know that you are in the will of God.  

Humbled.  

Then as I shared just a tidbit of my yesterday, God spoke again through her  2nd prayer:  

      Lord, God, we are going to believe that  YOU, OUR  God is bigger than her mortal thoughts and know that You know her heart -- that as she seeks -- she will find you.
        Father we ask you in the name of Jesus, the name that every knee, including the knees of "the guides", the knee of "Mother Earth", and the every mortal knee that  bows to  in that precious name,  we speak clarity and wisdom -- better yet, Jesus we ask you physically dissect and cut apart each and every lie and twisted "truth" she is believing and make them straight! 
       Make them a straight arrow, pointing to you!!   We pray the blood of Jesus over her mind and spirit. 
        You love her Lord, more than we will and make a way for her to see truth and understand your love for her.  Until she does Lord, we cover her with your blood!!  Thank you that she will be in heaven!!   You promised generations, not just forward, but all generations to us.  

Thank you for the harvest that is her soul!!  Amen 

So, if you have some lost within your reach -- don't lose hope.  Faith over feelings.  I pray you will pray this prayer over  - and over. Maybe even a few times.  Copy and paste it and or write it out and place it in your bible.  I am.... I am believing in God's Promises.  Amen. 

Faith over Feelings Prayer/Day #7 -- When we want to scream!

When you really hurt --  don't you just want others to hurt too?
Let's be honest -- I want to have a good tantrum at times -

Did they see the sleepless nights?
 Did they notice you fasted - sacrificially for more than 24 hours?
Do they realize -- that you are hurting too?
Did they realize I am just as spent or hurt or frustrated??
Lord -- rescue ---


When God has asked me to do something and be 'somebody' to another and I did not -- that was disobedience and I knew it.

 However, HE forgave me and moved on - to a time and place when HE knew I would not decline the invitation again.
He knew I would speak truth and intercede with prayer.

This time and place is hard though -- it is not that easy.  Cause they are not acting the way they should --

And, I don't like being in that place -- its a place that I have no control over.
It is a place where at times, I am in pins and needles -- waiting.  
It is a place where I must wait. And wait in silence, believing that my Savior is fighting for me!
It is a place where ONLY true wisdom and comfort can come from above -- for both sides from both sides. 


It sucks.
I want to cry and scream so loudly that someone will notice -- but HE reminds me -- I am beyond that -- I know the goodness of the Lord, and I have seen it -- so HE asks me to wait.


In the meantime, in the God time.....  why can't there just be chocolates on my bed and the covers turned down?

Why can't there be a dozen roses being delivered right now -- so I know that I know -- I did not mess up God's plans --??

Why can't it be like a soap opera or drama where the commercial breaks and when you return, the right party is there in the background and hears the dialog and then apologizes or brings in the HERO to save the day....?  

And why can't Satan and his helpers just leave my thoughts alone for one day? 

And why, can't I see  BEYOND "it" at the present moment?
 It is cause of my flesh -- Right?

Right?
Right!

So, I turn to God's Word -- for me.  

Psalm 25^[a]

Of David.

¹ In you, Lord my God,
    I put my trust.   I don't trust myself --   ONLY YOU...speak --I must 'them' through God --

² I trust in you;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    nor let my enemies triumph over me.  It certainly seems that you had some angels that fell asleep on the job -- and they have banded together to just leave me hanging...here.....  I need to know that I am still the apple of YOUR eyes -- as I am not that apple in others right now --
³ No one who hopes in you
    will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
    who are treacherous without cause.  You see Lord, this verse is not too good -- as I want 'bad stuff' to happen to those evil ones.  There are many evil ones, but what about the ones that just mock and curse you ??   They seem to get to have their point stated and mourned...and I must be quiet .....  And while I am at it Lord,    I want the forsaken to be redeemed -- sooner than later, it is not happening fast enough, then again, that is my opinion-- and I want the righteous   to win....  I will take comfort in the fact that your Word does promise you will fight our battles  and that nothing is a surprise for You, but Lord, could you let me in on some of your actions?  --

⁴ Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
⁵ Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long.   My HOPE has to be in you -- but of late, I put some hope into some others -- people....they will always fail me and they did -- forgive me Lord, help me to move beyond what I hope and see as 'their solution' to WHAT YOUR solution is -- as I know it will be BETTER than what I could of ever imagined and it will be YOUR best...no what I thought was best.  

Forgive me Lord, for trying too hard -- Temper my passion with patience... I need YOUR divine intervention Lord, as I admit - I am very needy today -- and WANT to see your goodness and hear my 'atta girl'. 
⁶ Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love,
    for they are from of old.
⁷ Do not remember the sins of my youth
    and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
    for you, Lord, are good.  I have been rebellious with my thoughts and some of my actions -- Lord, forgive me...and I forgive those who have trespassed against me -- and hurt my feelings -- big time. 

⁸ Good and upright is the Lord;
    therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
⁹ He guides the humble in what is right
    and teaches them his way.  Teach me, teach me... show the ones I have failed -- that I was only trying my best --  deliver me Lord...show me HOW to walk in this role of just being quiet.....deliver me from the snare...of a past sin -- help me to move forward --
¹⁰ All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
    toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.
¹¹ For the sake of your name, Lord,
    forgive my iniquity, though it is great.  For her lord.... help her - see that her iniquity in Your eyes is as 'bad' as she believes her other half's is...God, remind us there is NO grade on sin - sin is sin.  Disobedience is disobedience.... 

¹² Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?
    He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.^[b]
13 They will spend their days in prosperity,
    and their descendants will inherit the land.
¹⁴ The Lord confides in those who fear him;
    he makes his covenant known to them.  I fear you Lord, make it known to me -- let me see the good that will come -- I can wait, and will trust -- but could you hurry up?  Your  Word says you will instruct me -- please ..DO it loudly speak over my head -- enter into my mind and take over Lord.  
¹⁵ My eyes are ever on the Lord,
    for only he will release my feet from the snare.  Release me - BIG time.You know what Lord, you did release me and I took it back -- I must of gotten mixed up!  I know better! 

¹⁶ Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.  You know at times Lord, that I have no one to ask ...to see comfort from...nor do I get the affirmation needed -- and YET...it must all come from you.  So be gracious to me..... give me strength  - I take it back. But it is OK Lord, I believe YOU want me to come only to you.   Lord, help that one be gracious to others.  Help me to show grace and mercy to the ones hurting as I know, hurting people hurt others. 
¹⁷ Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.  Free me - please -- today is not a good one.
¹⁸ Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins.
¹⁹ See how numerous are my enemies
    and how fiercely they hate me!  Boy that was LOUD and clear today Lord -- if you could protect me from those types of attacks in the future - I would greatly appreciate it.

²⁰ Guard my life and rescue me;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    for I take refuge in you.  Guard me Lord --  I take my refuge in YOU -
²¹ May integrity and uprightness protect me,
    because my hope, Lord,^[c] is in you.

²² Deliver Israel, O God,
    from all their trouble.  God yes..... deliver me.  As You know my heart today -- my heart wants to quit it all -- and be just that back row church pew sitter -- and be content; but my mind won't allow me to go there. 

 I NEED you today - Deliver Michelle Lord...  Deliver me...   may I only walk with integrity and uprightness.  Protect me Lord.  

Lord for the ones that were on my prayer list today -- I prayed.  But now, I am spent -- they are yours -- only YOU can fix them.  Lord, I can't WANT it more than they do -- they must fight - It won't be a zap and ALL will be better -- they must fight -- I pray they fight!  IN Jesus name.  Amen.  

And then...... my daughter posts this on FB and sums it all up --   thank you Lysa. 


 

Lord, forgive me when my feelings take over -- tonight, after time with you and venting it out ----  You are close and I choose to be close back -- and thank you for rearranging my feelings.  Amen. 

Faith over Feelings BOLD prayers Day #6 -- Fear of or Worldly Climate

Fear is something that has many forms.  On the last day of our trip, last Saturday,  there was a Freedom Rally very close to our hotel.   In Pershing Park.  We were staying at the TRUMP hotel - so, I was very aware of all of the police around our hotel and security.  Honestly, I felt very safe  and truly trusted EVERY person I came in contact with -- until Saturday.  

We were told to be aware and careful.  We were advised not to 'hang' on the sidewalks or outside of our hotel.  I  noticed that the beautiful entrance way was barricaded off and all of the planters with beautiful plants were now moved to behind the barricades and closer to the north side of the building.   The hotel used to be the old Post Office.  It is an historical site with an old Clock Tower that is open to the public.   

However,  all seemed well and we set off and went to our SPY museum tour.  

When we returned we noticed the street was lined with cop cars and cops on bicycles and so forth.  I counted 30 just in vehicles and there were almost that many on bikes and horses. 

 

We went back into our hotel to take a nap and didn't really realize until we watched the news what was going on.  There had been a freedom rally and then Antifa wanted to come closer to the Trump Hotel and display their cause.  That is when some altercations occurred.  

When we left the hotel to get some supper, we were stopped again and advised to go back into the hotel.  I noticed many in black with radios.  I noticed others with radios and suits on -- I actually thought they may be some secret service or security -- I came to find out they were from the Proud Boys and another group of Pro-Trump Supporters.   

But anyway -- the entire point of this blog was to sort of 'set the stage'.  

Did I set it?  

 

I noticed how I went from BEING safe to being a bit fearful within the hour.  

I noticed how I could LEAVE the situation and all was well -- back to my 'little' peaceful bubble and yet, it still WENT on outside no matter what.  

I also noticed how quickly a mood can change -- because of WHAT someone is wearing.  I witnessed and noticed  those wearing their Trump attire -- were attacked.  Pure and simple.  

In speaking with the Security of the hotel later that night, when we arrived back from our dinner excursion,   he informed us about the details of what tried to occur earlier when we encountered the tense face offs and yelling.  He also spoke of 'how' security really goes on a normal day but that this day - was heightened because of the Antifa that were bused in.  

These people were probably paid to protest and look for altercations.  That really didn't register  with me either. I mean --

I had been in the Nation's Capital all week, learning about the sacrifices our forefathers made for our freedom and the right to peacefully protest or even speak their beliefs and they did it with courage and bravery.  

And these Antifa one's were being paid?    

  Oh my -- THERE is TOO much to editorialize or give opinions on -- but bottom line - fear.  

I felt it.  I saw it.  And how do we overcome it?  

Through the knowledge of Jesus and knowing His blood covered it all.   And we prayed. 

Truly, as Bren and I walked away from the tension -- we prayed.  We prayed for our Nation, for our President and the ones being attacked verbally.  We prayed for our upcoming election race and prayed that God would orchestrate His Will.  As we walked to dinner and then back, we kept out eyes open  -- watching.  And we avoided those on bikes wearing all black that we found out later were scouts.  We noticed pockets of police walking and watching.  They were on guard. 

I couldn't help but think of Satan -- as there was a real sense of evil among this group - that would not display their faces and stayed behind their masks.  

Satan does that -- hides and yet his presence can be known.  

We need to be watchful and on guard -- with our armor on and not a part of the silent majority -- to stand up and speak God's truth.  

So today -- 

Lord, for the one reading this that may be dealing with fear -- for whatever reason, I pray she or he will open their bible today and go to Psalm 23 and read it over a few times to be reminded that though we walk in a valley of death -- we don't have to fear the evil.  God, YOUR Word does change the atmosphere -- God I pray the one reading this would understand that as well.  In Jesus name...that their faith would indeed conquer their fear.  Amen.

Faith over Feelings BOLD prayers Day #5 Being hopeful.

This bit of wisdom and knowledge coming forth today  in this blog is not from my brain-- I read it on Lysa Terkeurst's Instagram  a few days ago and felt -- I could write it too. 

So here it is-- cause someone  reading this today is thinking  their marriage can't survive whatever -- 
      ---I am telling you there is hope. 


 God Won.


From Lysa's typewriter -- 

Life is a journey of "both and."  The coexistence of both hard and holy.  Both certainty and mystery. Both laughter and lingering sorrow.

Seasons contain both and.

Families contain both and.

Friendships can contain both and.

It seems to be the rhythm of life - the drum beat of both within the anthem of and.

Our marriage has been both broken and restored.  Some will ask  "how" questions. 
There are many answers for sure... I will keep whispering those out here in this little social media place. 

But today, I will just say we finally made peace with the both ands. Not being okay with the both ands will choke the life out of love. Especially when it's in the fragile and formidable states of healing.

Expectations of perfection in one another are a crushing weight no one can stand under.

Making peace with both celebrating stellar qualities and addressing areas of needed growth in each other is a delicate dance for sure.  It is not easy.  But it is beautiful .

And I'd rather both dance and trip sometimes than sit on the bench fearing these new steps. 

Art -( that is her husband ) -

 Brendan -- thank you for  being one of the most humbled, selfless,and prayer-filled men I know. 

 And thank you for the way you let me wrestle through this both and process.  There is no one I'd rather dance with than you. 

Now from me: 

And we did - last night and laughed.  And today - we start all over again. 

Each day a gift. I am so in AWE of God in you -- this week has been a 'beyond blessing' event that just reminds me over and over that obedience brings rewards.  I love you -- happy early anniversary! 


Lord, for the one or many reading this that are well into their healing or it has just begun -- I ask that their steadfast hope in YOU and  YOUR  ability to change and fix us .... will HOLD them. 

 Lord, for the one or many reading this that see our marriage as a possibility - like I saw others - God I pray the one holding on and fighting for the marriage will HOLD on and allow YOU to HOLD him or her while this season plays out.  But I pray they write their own story of both and of and. 

And Lord, for those that are ON the other side of brokenness -- fill them, build them, but may they also be a light and prayer warrior for those that need the encouragement --that indeed there is HOPE for a broken marriage and a broken heart.  God will win. 

 In Jesus Name - Amen.