I want others to experience the JOY only HE can bring.
I want others to believe in something that CAN happen with HIS help.
I want people to have growing faith - that WHEN they get beyond their own hurt and crisis...they will then PRAY it forward and speak life into another.
That is what happened with me.
I really thought I 'knew it all'. But I did not.
God loves me enough to allow something to 'hurt'...so my attention was refocused.
And then HE healed me.
And then He restored me and restored my family. Simple? No. But yet...yes.
However -- it takes God's time.
Psalm 34.18 says: "the LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit".
I have a sort of 'running' debate with a sister in Christ. She says 'her pain' was more devestating. More crushing.
I say, 'pain is pain'. I know that when I was rejected and broken hearted -- there were days, MANY days when ALL I wanted to do was GO to heaven -- check out -- don't pass 'go...don't collect my $200'...( that is a reference from the game of Monopoly).
I would never tell her that my pain equaled her pain -- I did not experience what she did.
But now that God has healed and restored the earthquake that fell upon me -- I realize that when another sister in Christ is in pain -- her pain and hurt is real and that she may just want to check out too -- -- it is THOSE women, I want to say -- GOD WILL and CAN heal.
In my most darkest and broken hearted days -I did NOT want to get out of bed.
I did not want someone to tell me it was going to be 'ok'...I WANTED it fixed and yesterday!
I was TIRED of praying and waiting.
I WANTED answers and I wanted to know - that all would be well.
And on many of those days - I wanted GOD to come from heaven and SMACK some people around - I did -- I wanted JUSTICE...what the hell did I do to deserve this hurt?
This world is broken. This is not our home. I never did anything to 'deserve' this...but I was/am a sinner and mercy is for the just and the unjust.... God showed me mercy. I needed HIS mercy.
Unfortunately -- the only one that could really help me was God Himself and He was at work - I just could not SEE it. So then comes the TRUST factor.
I was 44...almost 45. I would of argued with you - I 'knew' Christ and trusted Him.
But I had NO CLUE. After God allowed a revelation - it took 9 more months before I finally -- really -- allowed God to be MY EVERYTHING...NO MATTER what. It was THEN...that God could begin a 'new' work within another. I say 'new' work, cause I knew God was working all that time on him as well -- but, it was different now. When we truly TAKE our hands OUT of the situation and TRUST God - and WALK in that trust...God will let us 'see' a bit into WHAT HE is doing.
Again, I have said this before - it takes time. In the middle of my crisis of faith - I HATED God's timing...NOW....not so much. In fact, I LOVE HIS perfect timing - so I say with a little experience -- wait for it - and trust. Just TRUST.
So, today -- I got to pray with an older gentleman. He accepted Christ for the first time. He was well over 70. The childlike FAITH in his eyes - is a look I will never forgot. Last Sunday, I got to watch a 'younger' man accept Christ and the look in his eyes today as he was baptized - powerful.
So as I thought about these two events, the Holy Spirit reminded me of another rebirth....
It was about two years ago this month...that God allowed me to see a change in another person's life. That other person was my husband. He was beginning to believe that maybe...just maybe.... our family could be restored. He was beginning to believe that God could change a heart.
It was 2 years ago this weekend that we moved into our 'healing house'. It was a home where God allowed me to see a man be reborn and God's 'slow' timing in this healing -- was HIS perfect blessing. And I was a recipient of that rebirth as a new love was formed.
I say that as a reminder to myself...and to a woman I met today --
No matter what -- GOD can heal and restore. God can and HE will. HIS perfect will IS to restore a marriage. It is. We must be obedient.
No matter what the 'world' may say -- GOD hates divorce. HE does. As I told this woman, if there is physical abuse or a cause of fear for one's safety .....then GET OUT...but, God's will is to restore and to heal and redeem.
I could insert here MANY MANY MANY different %'s and statistics of marriages and what works and what does not -- but I could also copy/cut and paste at least 4 different testimonies right here of other couples that had IMPOSSIBLE situations ( situations that make mine seem like a 'picnic') and God healed...GOD restored...and GOD redeemed and blessed.
They were obedient. In some cases the wife waiting on the man. In other's the man waiting on the women. And even in one, they divorced and remarried 6 years later....amen. God is creative. God wins!
God's will is to restore. It just is. THAT is HIS will. HIS will is to have a man and a woman as ONE FLESH -- working together to be a union....to show the world HIS love for His church. People just don't fall out of love. Love is a verb - it is an action.
When they say 'I never loved you'...they are lying. When they say, 'they love another' - they are lying- that is not love -- that is EGO and LUST.
Hurting people hurt others and lie...they have to JUSTIFY what they are doing -- to make it seem 'ok'.
The Enemy is a liar and the enemy will make a person 'believe' that one never loved another....
the enemy will make a person 'believe' that another will NEVER change....
the enemy will make another believe that 'now they finally deserve someone better'........
the enemy will continue to steal, kill and destroy -- cause he knows....WHAT God can do!
So with that, and with ALL assurance that GOD is CLOSE to the brokenhearted and HE will bind your wounds...I will say to you -- hang in there.....
But FIRST.....I had to get right with God. I did know that Christ had died for my sins and I knew of HIS word...but I did not have a one to one relationship with God - where God /Jesus was my husband...my best friend....and the ONE I trusted.
Trusting is the first step. Believing in something that is unseen - is faith.
Lord, I pray for the beautiful woman that I had the pleasure to pray with today. Lord, that she gets a GOOD night's rest but that she will awake with a supernatural peace surrounding her. Lord, I pray for her husband - may all sin be revealed - may he come to realize that he too is a sinner and that he needs a saving touch - that he needs Jesus. Lord, there are children involved - hearts that are hurt that need comfort - interject Lord - I know you are RIGHT there -- that they would see something within their mom -- YOUR Light and HOPE... Lord, protect her thoughts - as the enemy is working HARD to discourage her and I pray that she will believe that our meeting today is by NO accident - that she will dig deep into your word, refresh her relationship with You and allow YOU to be the husband for the moment -- and that she would believe YOU are working on him as well. In Jesus name, amen.
Lord, I am humbled- Hopeful...encouraged..and committed to believe YOU will do it again! I will continue to pray for those couples around us and believe that YOU are at work, YOU will open the eyes of the ones who are deceived, and YOU will restore the others...and give courage to the ones that MUST seek some professional and godly help -- I believe. I believe, YOU WANT for them -- WHAT I now have with my husband...new soul ties...new love... and revelations that there was LOVE all that time....the the wife of the youth...is HIS will...that the current wife is GOD's will.... that the two married -- should remain. amen. GOD....wash them all clean....God that the ones that are NOT in relationship with you - would be miserable...until they SEEK you and if You see fit to use Brendan or myself within this.....then do it and we promise to be faithful to the Holy Spirit as He speaks to us - in Jesus name..amen.
michelle
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