Should we sin then.....?

I have been pretty quiet lately. 
Been thinking a lot, busy a lot, and just really asking God ..'what'.

I remember what both Beth Moore  and Patsy Clairmont have said,  and I have heard Joyce Meyers say it too....if you are going to speak - make sure it is of worth or of value. 

Words are so important.

HIS words are so important. 

Today, I will be honest, I got 'hit' with something again.  Now mind, you -- I am ok.  I am.  It is just one of those things....our minds...and how they can wander, so we RENEW it with HIS word. 

Right?  Right! 

I was a sitting and just praying and went to my Believing God devotional for today as Beth has HIS word for each day and then her commentary and of course, it ministered to me. 


Romans 6.1 says....
What should we say then?  Should we continue to sin in order that grace may multiply? 

Beth comments: 

To many, the fact that God has declared us holy and righteous before Him by means of Christ's substitutionary death gives us license to sin.  But we would be severely mistaken to rationalize God's grace and forgiveness into permission to act like pagans. 

Those who presently and actively believe God are prompted to make wiser and healthier decisions.  Authentic faith cannot help but act. 

THAT...really hit me.....Authentic faith cannot help but act.

Beth continues,  If we really believe what the Word says about God and about us, our decisions and behaviors will reflect it.  How we behave overwhelmingly flows from what we deeply believe. 



Now, I , Michelle, wants to comment:


....what we deeply believe.

I believe God is good.  
I believe that I am accepted, adopted, redeemed, blessed, forgiven, and free. 
I believe that God redeems and restores. 
I know God is good.
I know that I am accepted, adopted, redeemed, blessed, forgiven and free.
I know that God redeems and restores.

I know God can 'have this'. 

I know I can do HARD.
I know I can wait.
I know that others can too! 

I believe the Enemy just wants to get into my head today and remind and remind me of my past...his past.....that past...and this failure..and that failure....and why this makes me mad and why that is still happening...

I see the Enemy trying his hand in others around me. 

ENOUGH.....ENOUGH.... Satan -- GET the hell away....YOU have NO authority here!  Amen. 

It is pure and simple. 

Now to act and live in that belief....that is the harder part.   But....we can do hard. 

I believe this scripture reminded me that I can't 'use' this drip or constant lie from the Enemy as an excuse...I know how to get rid of it - through prayer and faith. 

Praise God.

Lord, thank you for Your word...how we can look at it a year ago and it speaks to us in this manner and then in the next glance, it means that and it heals in a different spot.

Lord, I have one friend ( and others ) that is really being attacked right now - Lord, remind her to behave within how she knows...YOU will heal this.  Lord, be there.

Lord,  for my own thoughts today, I realize it may just be my time of the month, or you are working 'death' in one thing ...and 'life' in another, but I am sick of this constant 'drip' the Enemy seems to want to use against me.  Specfically Lord, the timeline....the idea of the timeline and the unanswered questions are like a constant drip and I don't want it anymore.  I am sick of it...like it says in Proverbs today..that constant dripping -- stop the faucet.  Stop the leak.  Take it back in YOUR manner Lord, as when YOU do it...when YOU heal it...it is always so much better than what "I wanted'.....  Lord, if I need to seek some extra professional counsel - burden me - make it happen.  Humble me Lord, I believe I  am so close...I don't want to ever use any of 'it' as a stumbling block.   If I just need the time to sort it out...continue to sustain me.  But Lord -- do it.  IF I just need you 24/7..which I already know the answer to that...just reshow me. 

Lord,  give me the grace to wait. 

Lord, I realize that in the scope of things...this is a 'small' request, but you know my heart and our small requests are just as priceless to you as the big ones...like the people in Colorado and the fires...Lord, send rain...but Praise You Lord, that we can come to you and ask. and know - YOU hear and YOU answer.

My flesh feels better now Lord.

My own man reminded me again today Lord, to walk in our Spirit...we can't walk in the flesh here...we must walk in the spirit...therefore, no wonder why the Enemy wants to attack...

Help me walk in the Spirit, period.

I believe my 'dry' spell of writing was relieved....empty me of me...pour in more of you.....

May this be for your glory..not for mine.    Amen. 

a prayer for your man..... my man...

As Father's Day approaches, I have been in prayer for the right words to write...for the right things to say...and I have been looking and looking for the right card.....not sure I found it, but I found this. 

This prayer is from Family Life.  It says it perfectly.  I keep the prayer card in my purse....I could pray it for Brendan, my dad...my brothers...my brother -n - law....I can even pray it for my son...

Here it is: 

Lord, I lift  my man ...Lord, I lift Brendan...Lord, I lift Daryl...Lord, I lift Aaron,  Lord, I lift Craig, Lord I lift Brad,  Lord I lift Christopher, Lord, I lift Trevor, Lord I lift Nate,  Lord I lift Ryan,   Lord, I lift Quent, Lord, I lift Carl, Lord I lift Dustin, Lord I lift Lowell,  Lord I lift Dave, Lord I lift Todd, Lord I lift Billy,  Lord I lift Jeff, Lord I lift him,   Lord I lift Mark,  Lord I lift Hunter,  Lord, I lift the man You have for Taylor, Lord, I lift Tom, Lord I lift MY Dad...Jim....Lord, I lift......

to you today, and pray according to Your Word, that You will give him strength to lead (Josh 10.14), and a passion to manage his home ( 1 Tim 3.4).  Lord, I pray You bless his work and show him daily how to honor You in his attitude and spirit; confirm the work of his hands unto Your purpose ( Psm. 90.16-17, Daniel 6).

Lord, I pray he will be a wise steward of our finances and all we possess, remembering that all things are Yours and entrusted to us for Your purposes ( Matt 6.19-21).  Lord I pray he will love You with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength and hate evil ( Mark 12.30, Psm 97.10).

Lord, I pray he will be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger ( James 1.19).

Lord, I pray You protect him phusically, mentally, and spiritually ( Psm. 28.7-9; Ps 41; John 17. 15 and 2 Thess 3.3).

Lord, I pray You give him the desire to teach and model a godly lifstyle for is children ( Deut 6, Psm. 78.5-7). 

Lord, I pray you will instruct him and teach him the way he should go ( Psm 32.8); give peace in the circumstances, and integrity in decisions he must face today ( 1 Corn 14.33; Prov 11.3)

And Lord, I pray that he would meditate day and night on Your Word, pray without ceasing ( Psm 1. 1-3; Psm 119.8, 73.1; 1 Thess 5.17), and stay faithful to Christ to the end ( heb 12: 1-2). 

And God...Lord, Father....that he would develop strong relationships with other godly men ( Eps 4.24-25; Heb 10.24). 

Lord, my prayer is that he falls so deeply in love with you......that everything...just everything...flows into place.  As one of your servants said, 'when the promise is clear, the price is easy". 

And Lord, as the wife...the mother...the sister...the....friend...may I be that helpmate, companion, champion, friend and support. 

Lord, teach me to create a peaceful, restful and safe place for my husband to come home to. 

Lord, Teach me how to care for myself and stay attractive to him.  Lord, grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit.  Lord, make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say ...that is my wife.  Lord, I lay all my expectations at Your cross.  I release my husband from the burdn of fulfilling me in areas where I should ONLY be looking to You.  Lord, help me to accept him for who he is and not try to change him.  Lord,  leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be.  Only You Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us. 

Lord, I ask all of this in Your perfect name, Amen. 

when the promise is clear, the pain is easy....

Rev. David Vespa spoke today at Grandma Ziemann's memorial service. Tremendous.  He and his wife were missionaries over in Africa about the same time as Grandma and Grandpa.  They were located about 400 miles north of them, but had several visits with each other --being some of the few Americans in that country/region.

He spoke about Eddie Ziemann  ( Grandpa )  and shared a few stories.  His wife spoke highly of Bernice  ( Grandma ) and how she had a gift for making the coldest or bare room look like a million bucks by adding a table cloth from home and then a few beautiful things like nic nacks to decorate with.   That was Grandma...she was always  fashionable, stated her opinion, but she loved and prayed and prayed so much, I know that I know, our children are blessed and healthy because she did pray!

Thinking and pondering the entire service....was just a blessing and mirage of different memories that came flooding back as that was Brendan's weekend home while we were in college as Marilyn and Lowell had moved to Florida.

Listening to the love they had for his ( our )  grandparents and their life there in Africa was just tremendous.  I knew that as Missionaries...they impacted many but I had really NO idea of HOW much.  What a legacy.  Grandpa and Grandma had a grassroots approach and the millions of Christians there now are from the seeds they planted.

There is even a couple here now in Okeechobee that are from Ghana that attend church where Marilyn and Lowell go now....and I have no doubt that they are there....to remind Marilyn...of HIS love and faithfulness.

God is so sweet....HE blesses us with such little things that MEAN so much!

Rev. Vespa said two words about Grandma -- inspiration and faithfulness.  Tremendous.  She was 94 when she went to meet Jesus.  I can only hope and pray that my life....would touch 1% of the people she did......

I can only pray that my children......touch others....there is such a legacy here.....so powerful.

She was an inspiration and her faithfulness...to HIM was remarkable.  I believe that perhaps the reason she lived so long....was she was a faithful prayer warrior and we had confirmation that she would pray all the time in the nursing home  -- in fact, Marilyn even spoke to a lady that was in the room with her and she spoke of that peace Grandma had, but that she didn't....and so, just this past week, Marilyn prayed with her and she accepted Jesus into her heart...even after Grandma was in heaven....her legacy lived on.  Tremendous.

I believe both Grandma and Grandpa knew of the service yesterday - but they did not need to hover over it, they are enjoying God's presence.  They are in HEAVEN.   I believe all the prayer warfare they did while on Earth....will prove fruitful...even for her children, grandchildren, and great - grands.

Heaven.....

Grandma got her vision when she was about 7......I wondered today how many of us got our visions or our 'orders' and ignored them...she believed.

When the speaker spoke about that, I got a glimpse into the heavenlies...and I could see both of them walking hand in hand with their African garb on  walking towards God....I only saw the back of them and they were spry....I had to stop a moment or lose it.....then I asked God, did I really 'see' that?

I believe I did.  It is just another one of those tidbits of blessings...that HE gives me...that HE gives me to remind me - I am deeply loved.

I sit here...blog...share Christ when I can.    I sit humbled.  I pray ....I listen and watch every new Christian video...but, do I really serve HIM?  

Rev. Vespa spoke about service.....the Enemy could really have a field day with my head  nright now...making me feel guilty.....like I am not doing what I need to or I have not done enough, but God reminded me today -- HE calls us to be real and show HIS grace and mercy every moment of our lives and if we are in HIS will.....we are going to shine and show HIS light.

Back to...when the promise is clear...the pain is easy.  Rev. Vespa stated that yesterday and repeated it a few times.  I wrote it down at the request of my hubby......when the promise is clear...the pain is easy.  

I thought of giving birth.....knowing the baby was coming....and thousands upon thousands of women got through it each day....

I thought of sitting with Blake outside in the parking lot as he had is first seizure....knowing that I could sit there and watch my precious nephew convulse....but I knew it would pass.

I thought about sitting outside of the surgery room when HP was having a lump removed and holding onto the thought of the doctor saying...it probably was just a cyst!  ......

I thought about when TP came home in 6th grade with her heart broken.  The only time she had a 'boyfriend' and he broke up with her via another pal......and I held her and knew that this pain would pass....

I thought of the night when I watched my uncle have a massive heart attack on the steps of a hall at my other Grandparents Anniversary celebration and then being at the hospital when he was declared dead and watching my mother and my grandmother take in the news......at that time, I was so young and naive and questioned his salvation....and then just blurted out to my folks....YOU must be saved...I don't want to be in a hospital and wonder.......


I thought about the pain of driving home after the phone call from JJ about Blake's passing into heaven....as the tears ran down my face and I drove on I-75 home...knowing HE WAS IN HEAVEN....it was painful...but easy....well....easy came in time........

And,

I thought of laying in my bed, in tears....heaving with pain and illness because of such great sadness.....knowing  that my husband could not say the words "I love you", ......but   still I had no idea of sin that was going on...and then finding out several months...years....later.......and even more hurt....but that promise...that  God hates divorce and HIS promise is for my GOOD.....and HIS promise that HE would NOT let me go through anything...anything that HE did not know about...


I thought  of Grandma and Grandpa and how they left their home and their family.....to share HIS good news...as they new the Promise was CLEAR.......and their pain would be easy...

Tremendous.

Tremendous.

God wins.

We celebrated the life of a beautiful woman...and her man.

My family is being restored.

My inner most secret prayers are being answered....as Rev. Vespa stated....living for HIM is a GREAT joy...it is.

Amen.  

we laugh often now ...and we can be silly...cause God shines....
I am so blessed.
Grandma and Grandpa would maybe not approve....but they would laugh and know that God wins.

Happy birthday HP....

"And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit".   2 Corn 3.18

Hunter - Happy Birthday.

Lord, I pray over my son today, he turns 17.  Lord, as he begins the 'last' year of his youth and enters into adulthood ...next year..and as he enters into his senior year...I just pray over him that his face will be transformed into your image.  Lord, I pray he sees you in each and every person around him.  Lord, I pray his eyes would strive to seek you and your word, Lord I pray his ears would be pierced with your news, and I pray his heart would long to see you in each and every moment.  Lord, as he was such a blessing to us when he arrived all blue...keep him healthy and free from illness.  Lord, bless his summer of soccer prep as colleges and  coaches seek him out.  Lord, lead and guide him in making the right choices.
 Lord, for his friendships and relationships..may they be godly.  Lord, I realize it maybe very hard to keep you first, but that is my prayer -- that he keeps you first.  Lord, I pray that he will be a  leader and that others will look to him and see  YOU within him.
Lord, may he be a light on a hill...may his will line up with yours...Lord, that he will see his calling upon his life and glorify you. 

Lord he is yours. 
Lord, thank you for my tur tur man.

This photo was back in 2009...but it is a favoite of mine! 

Amen.

April 1, 1983

I found this when I moved.  I am ready to share it as when I found it...it brought great joy and comfort but it also was painful....not that it was bad, but so many things have changed and yet...they are still the same.  In my own path and in my own life...so much had changed and yet, so much was still the same.  I guess I just wanted to protect this letter....and wait it out....not sure if that makes sense, but it does to me. 

I also read and reread it and wondered why, I had not been reading it every day of my life...through our senior year of high school ..which sucked at times.  Through our freshman year at UWW..which really sucked at times..sorry, sucked is not the right word but that was a very HARD time in my life for me.  However, I was so self-fish and so 19..that I never thought about the little brothers and sisters at home which were going through hell on earth....I would say that from 1982----1992--1994...those were some very tough times in our home...and I was not there - I was off, ducked out...went to college, then to Florida and started my own life.  I had no idea....I think THAT is part of the pain I wanted to protect. 

I think when one gets healing ..true healing, there is still a part of our flesh that does not want to believe it.  I mean, that is the battle right -- between our flesh and our spirit.  The battle between our head and our heart...the battle between belief and faith....and then the Enemy swings his guns in there. 

Or maybe it goes back to that saying, 'how are you?'....'fine'.....You don't really want to say what is really wrong, but you don't want to be negative either and does the other person really want to know?  But anyway......as I said, this letter was my treasure on that day of packing ...which brought me great hope and I want to share it on the blog for others to read. 


But I also want to protect my parents and my family...I mean, please don't judge..just read.  I love my dad. I do.  I do.  And I no longer judge or analyze 'what' happened here or there.  All of my past -- is my destiny.  It made me what I am.  I realize now, that if I had really believed this letter back in 1983...I know my life would of been a bit different -- but God knew all the time, what would transpire and take place back in college...in our early married years...and in our later married years...and HE knew what would transpire in the home of my mom and dad.  Praise God I can say now -- that my dad is different and I am getting to know a new man...a man that floors me with each visit.  I serve and believe in an awesome and wondeful God.  HE does have it.


I guess I want to share it and have it in  print...so I can always look back and remember how God showed me this, HE let me find it at just the right moment and it was a confirmation to me of what HE had impressed upon me years ago ...."I have this chelly...you are not the savior".....funny how I have to be reminded of that.  Well, that is not really funny...but true.  For so many years, being the oldest...being the oldest...well, let me  just say that you feel a responsibility that perhaps only another 'oldest' can witness to.  Anyway, enough said, I want to share this: 


This was a letter written by my mom to me and I opened it at my Confirmation retreat back in 1983.  It was suppose to be a letter from both parents... but it was only from her. 

However, it is a letter I will treasure and treasure for the rest of my life. 

God is so good.

Ok  - here is goes.

Friday, April 1, 1983

Our dear Michelle,  I've been composing words of wisdom in my mind for almost a week now; but getting started on paper is very slow.  I should explain this was suppose to be a joint effort, I will write from my heart and tell you your father - deep down - is happy for you too.  There's no excuse for his actions at times, and no matter how hard he verbally abuses us, I believe he has an opposite reaction he doesn't know how to express.  I still remember the warm, considerate, loving, caring young man who knelt with me at night as we said quietly our night prayers, when we were first married.  His problem or illness is something we will deal with.  Always remember that's what is is.  You are not responsible in any way, shape, or form for his actions.  Remember too, he loves you very much.  Maybe someday he'll be able to say it. 

Nevertheless, we are proud to have been blessed with such a fine young daughter.  I have my anxious moments as you know - but that's part of being a parent. 

Confirmation adds the religious strength on the ladder of life to adulthood.  It is the first serious decision you've made as a young adult.  I'm very happy and proud of you for inviting the Holy Ghost to come bless your life.  Welcome Him as the missing link, the love-glue with God, the ultimate security blanket, for that's what is important in life.  It is faith and love! 

All the riches in the world, fancy houses, friends, not even a husband will get you to heaven.  That trip your must prepare for all yourself.  Thank God there are many others around who share our anticipation and help nurture this dream.  Be alert tho for the road to heaven is not paved with gold - trials, pot holes, temptations, bad weather, and unforseen hazards await us. 

But remember -- Jesus is your best friend, your loyal companion, your security, your comfort.  Talk with Him often.  He'll listen anytime of the day.  He loves you; He wants to share the reward of eternal happiness and eternal love in heaven with you. 

That's what our religion is all about.  Its the faith, the love, the knowledge we know that our stay on earth is only but a short one and that our goal is the reward of heaven for there our soul will live on in eternity forever happy and full of God's grace and love.

I can't believe that God has a separate heaven for protestants, Lutherans, etc.  We were taught that our CAtholic faith was the 'one true appolstolic faith'. Life is full of compromises also, and rightly so, And these decisions will be yours!  Set your goal high -- to bring your soul and your family's back to God. 

Prayer is our secret weapon.  I know I don't do enough of it lately.  I'm sort of hoping the Sacrament of Confirmation will spill over and bless us all as well. 

WE love you Chelly and always will.  Have a good retreat.  I hope my letter doesn't smell too much like 'vicks'.  I hope too it makes you feel warm insdie, loved and excited about the Sacrament of Confirmation.  As for words to live by, I do like St. Francis's prayer and "blessed are the peacemakers, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven". 

Love, Mom ....and dad too. 

Hey mom....thank you.  I know I did not thank you for the letter back in 83..and I realize now, I had no clue.  I marvel at how your letters to me...back and forth and my letters to you in the 90's just pushed us farther and father apart...and yet..my writing is therapy and I get that from you. 

You are a talented writer. 

I marvel at what you wrote -- and believe and know that prayer is the key - you taught me well. 

I love you, more than ever - your eldest - michelle

and the story goes on....

...we are all a work in progress....we get healing....we live....the enemy will  try to oppress us again...we refuel...and fight the good fight....get healing.....have peace....and then live some more....

Does that seem like defeat?  I don't think so -- this is life...real life....being real.

I did a lot of thinking today.  My last blog post spoke about 'pain won't kill you'...I had fasted 5 days for a dear friend and wanted a fresh word from God.

Not only did I get a fresh word, but many blessings as God just worked in and out of my life that week and last week.

Today I was reminded of something else.....

Psm 57:2 says...I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills HIS purpose for me.

I know that in my response to many things now...I want to do what God wants me to do.  I want to hear him say, "well, done by blond beauty...you hung on".  I stop and think sometimes -- how did I? Was I so stubborn?  God put that longing in my heart......I believe HE is sovereign over all.

I wanted to fulfill HIS purpose for me, as I knew ....HE would bless and reward and give back what the locust had stolen.

HE is doing that.  In little bits here and there...slowly...in HIS time and it is just astounding.


I also thought of this......


And Psalm 55: 16   But I call to God and the Lord saves me.  Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice...HE ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me......vs. 22  Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you..he will never let the righteous fall.   


Yesterday Beth Moore blogged about this verse....cast your cares...throw them to HIM.

 I went to her blog today on  the LIving Proof Ministries site.  The name of her ministry is 'living proof'.  She always says she is walking living proof of how God can change a person.

I went back two years in my blog posts and read.  I went back to a few specific blog posts from her that spoke volumes to me in the past three years.

I thought about many changes that have happened to me in the past few years.   Here is just one example:

If you would of told me last Memorial Day that my house would be sold, we would  move 2x, and I would be preparing to entertain people that my husband invited....I would of thought - NO WAY.   ( We have not entertained guests in literally years and for Brendan to do the inviting.)    Last Memorial Day, I was planning on the ending of something and there was no entertaining!

Anyway, like Beth says....living proof.

I am living proof of a miracle.  I mean, I did not overcome some major disease or anything but, from my perspective....I was one very lost and hurt soul and I literally believed that God had forgotten me.  I was wrong....living proof....

I was a woman with defeat, hurt, and I did not have the freedom that Christ intended for me and getting that finally - was a miracle!

My marriage is living proof...that God restores.

My man is a living proof of God's grace, favor, and restoration.

My new home is living proof that God does give us the desires of our hearts.  Both Bren and I walk around our home and just thank God.  We know and acknowledge that God did this.

To see something come back to life....that was literally dead...that is a miracle...living proof of HIS power and majesty.

I have seen so much, experienced so much in the past year alone....I am humbled.

Today, was a day of reflection.  I prayed and fasted yesterday for a pal.   Today, I continued to pray but I reflected and believed that freedom, complete freedom was coming.  It is a process.  There has been healing....but there is more to come.  She is very real....our lives are very real.....and she will be living proof.

 Today...I reflected, in peace.   As I said,  my friend is still dealing with some hardships...but I believe that this....  will pass...this.... will be another miracle....HE is fulfilling HIS purpose for her.

HE is.

I believe that.

The end of Psalm 55 says -- But as for me, I trust in you.


Lord, I trust in you.  When I finally did...so many things changed, but it was a process.

 Our story still goes on.  My friend wants freedom and total healing -- it is coming, I know.

Pain will not kill us....it brings us closer to HIM.

Today was Memorial Day. A day to remind us as to why we have freedom in our country.

 But I am talking freedom within our lives.  True freedom  through Christ to know that you know, your name is in the lamb's book of life, to know that HE does fulfill HIS purpose in us, and to live in freedom and love...to be real.  Lord.....thank you -I am so humbled, blessed....and in awe of YOU.

- your daughter.

pain won't kill me.....

Ok, Dear Lord -- you have been working this revelation in me for a few days.  I want to honor you and yet I want to express how Wonderful you are......oh Lord, give me the words.  Amen.

Isn't it great when you can have a short prayer and know that GOD understands it all?

Ok....I want to start with this scripture: 

 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.  Ephesians 1: 18


The eyes of my heart....wow....that they may be enlightened....in order that I would know the HOPE to which HE has called me to....the RICHES of HIS glorious inheritance in the saints....

Wow...just wow.....awesome....words can't tell you right now the warmth in my heart because I believe HE wrote that JUST for me...for YOU too....for us all......

At the 'end' of 2 weeks ago, I knew that I knew, God was calling me to fast.  So, I prayed that weekend and began that fast last Monday.   How did I know?  I just knew.  Oh what a neat experience to know that God has called you to do something, the Holy Spirit confirms it, and then to know that Jesus is at the throne already ready interceding on my behalf for my task.   THAT thought alone deserves a blog of its own!  ....sorry, back to my thought......

I knew I was to fast.    I had one friend that was in the middle of some pain and hurts....and I was reminded of a time in my walk through a valley where I had exhausted every thing I 'knew' to do, and I was reminded to pray and fast.  And the fasting DID make something turn around or move and it changed me.  That has happened again.....I knew I was to fast and I did so for 5 days and glory be....I was just so thankful as HE blessed my socks off and not only gave me a word...but  HE reminded me of how MUCH I was loved....so much. 

We are called to fast and pray -- often.  There is a story about some of Jesus' disciples and how they were unable to cast out a demon and they asked Jesus as to 'why' and He told them,  you need to be prayed up and  it will take fasting. 

Are there some really HARD things that you are facing or in the middle of? Have you considered a fast.  I have not read the many books out there about fasting - as I probably should, but I knew I was  just  to do a simple day or 3 day fast.  The other times I fasted, I knew it was for the day or for 3 days.  I have even fasted with a friend and then we prayed together.  I would always fast the day Brendan and I had counseling in Stuart, you could hear my stomach roar as I sat on the 'couch'.  I was always blessed and the days I didn't ....those were harder sessions of counsel.  God showed me, proved that fasting is a tool with which we can use.  A tool that gives us POWER Of the enemy....and our circumstances.  However, now, I felt an urgency to fast for  5 days.    God lets me know exactly what to do.  I can now say, that when God ordains it -- it really works.  Believe me, I tried to fast too  MANY times to drop a pound or two... and that DID not work.  Go figure...:)  Can you see me smile ear to ear on that one?  I bet God is smiling at me too!

Anyway, back to my five days, God reminded me of WHAT I have already accomplished with HIS  help, and how I showed grace and mercy.   Then HE continued to orchestrate and manuever situations  throughout my week of fasting that I could write and write about but it is of no value to the general reader..only to me...I knew and I saw how he changed things.  For example, there was a meeting with another person that brought immediate pain to my stomach - physical pain, but God provided the RIGHT person right there, and the circumstance changed  and pain gone.  It was VERY real.  That may not seem that BIG to you...but it was a BIGGIE to me considering the person and the circumstance.  But that is MY God....HE is my Hero and I am doubly blessed when He comes to my rescue via my husband.  Amen. 

Faith creates miracles. 

Ok....God also used a song this past week......by Mercy Me...when the Hurt and the Healer collide. 
In my week of heightened prayer, I could hear over and over...."I fall into your arms open wide".  God is the perfect husband, the perfect friend, and the perfect need meeter and when we allow HIM to do those things it takes our husbands, our friends off the hook...and allows them to be themselves...and God gave me MANY of those type of confirmations or as I like to call them, tidbits of blessings  throughout this past week.  And they did not stop, they continue to happen this week. 

But, as I stop and reflect...about how this happened and then.... that...it seems like it was all arranged just for me....and I know God has MANY children...but, the thought that HE would actually arrange all of that JUST for me...there are no words.  THAT is what I never want to loose.  The song from Mercy Me says, "you breathed me back to life".....God did that for me....He breathed me back to life......therefore I wish to "keep my eyes completely fixed on  you".... 

Ok, like I said I was blessed each day and on Friday, I reminded  God, I wanted a direct word and I can't really find the words right now to totally explain it - but within 2 min of that prayer as I drove to school on Friday, it came.  "pain won't kill you". 

I, of course, lost it - tears streamed down my face....I could feel the presence of God in that car and wanted to just BASK in HIS loving arms but I was on my way to school so I dried my tears, checked my make up and continued to drive.  Until I turned XM radio on and HE blessed me with one of my favorite songs...'while I am waiting'  from the Fireproof movie.  Well, let me just say that by the time I got to school, I had to redo my make up.  Again, I knew, God GAVE me that song because of HIS tender mercy and love for me.

Throughout the week, as I prayed for my pal, as the Enemy tried his best to bring up old memories and stuff, as I prayed for others, as I watched a few others receive yucky news....there was a peace and joy within my life.  And as I cried out to God for my own pain and asked HIM to remove it...I heard, "pain won't kill you". 

The pain....strengthens my walk with Jesus....
The pain...brought forth so MANY more blessings....
The pain...after it is gone, has left me more stronger than I could of ever imagined....
The pain....brings us closer to Jesus than we could ever imagine...
The pain....lets you know, you are ever SO much more loved than you could hardly know......
The pain...will pass....

In the middle of it - it does not seem so.   I know.  It does not seem so.  But GOD is good and all the time.  HE is faithful.  Don't doubt.  Praise God for the godly people around who encourage you ...me...and praise God I SOUGHT those people out.   SEEK them out......Praise God for fasting...for the gift of my prayer language, praise God for my children....and for prayer.... oh lord the prayer.  Praise God. 

As the pain DID not kill me...and any new pain won't either.  I don't believe that - I KNOW that.  Amen.

So, be encouraged.....this pain, won't kill you.