I am getting ready....

School is starting next week for Teachers ( for me )  and I have not been able to focus on the Common Core or about much of the school related stuff. I have been just too busy enjoying my summer.

This is year 26 and I guess I would say I am a VETERAN and so I know that come next week my brain will kick back into gear but also so much as changed....

My priorities are different - they just are and I am getting ready to do something that I have never done before...I am getting ready to be a part of a leadership team  and walk with 27 other ladies to an Encounter.

I can't share too many details - or I would have to 'kill ya'.  But My Encounter Weekend back in February of 2011 really changed how I felt about God, it changed how I perceived my current situation,  and it prepared me to begin a healing process.

I remember HOW excited I was - meeting GOD face to face...well, sort of speaking.  Like I said, I can't reveal too much, but basically it is a God Boot Camp, it is a time to dig deep and see WHAT may need to be cast off and what may need to be forgiven and then, God comes in if your heart is open and HE does some corrective surgery.

I have blogged about it before.

Anyway....I still refer back to that experience when I am trying to encourage a new believer.  The ladies that walked me through that weekend are forever friends and they have touched a part of me that will forever be different. They were part of my refining process!

So, like I said, I have not been able to really THINK about school..cause I have been preparing with a few others for our FIRST Encounter Weekend.

It will be in Titusville.
There will be 4 speaker leaders and 10 of us leaders. I am one of the speakers.
There will be food.
There will be praise and worship.
There will be a little bit of silly ...maybe some praise dancing.  And...
There will be deep thinking and listening and there will be prayer and more prayer.
And tears....many tears....

One of the 'unique' things that really touched me as I entered the retreat center at my Encounter was that my small group leader greeted me and then another lady came to me and introduced herself and told me - a  TOTAL stranger that she had been praying for my arrival and participation for 3 weeks.

Really?  Me?  This total stranger had been praying for Michelle??

That just really touched me.

I pray that as I have prayed for my 'peeps' and all of the leaders and participants that will join us this weekend...that they too will be touched.  I pray that they will dig deep and SEEK God for a real Encounter with HIM this weekend.....this weekend is not about me or them...it is about THEM and GOD....and I will just get to watch and I know God will meet me right where I am at too! I sort of get the side- effects!  

I always NEED more of HIM...

Ezekiel 3. 26-27 talks about how God can HOLD my tongue when the rebellious and troublesome are around and then He will FREE my tongue to speak when it is of HIM...

This was so clearly illustrated to me yesterday, I will explain later.

Psalm 19.14 reminds us that David cried out to God and asked that the words of his mouth be pleasing to God in HIS sight...So, Lord, may MY words be pleasing in YOUR sight...

I hope and pray that I seek HIS counsel on everything.

Ephesians 6.19 says  Thank you Father, that YOu will grant me freedom of utterance so that I may open my mouth boldly to speak that WHICH YOU give me to speak.....

This weekend, I pray that I will be used of HIM, by HIM, and for HIM..to further HIS kingdom but that perhaps, like me...those women will walk away..

...hopeful...
...ready to do the HARD...
...free from worry and/or guilt...
...set free from strongholds that have been on her for too long
...refreshed...
....ready to pray the long haul for an unsaved husband or child
...ready to stand in the gap for a wayward child, niece, or husband
...blessed
....loved and understand HOW much HE does love her

Lord, the list can go and go...I pray that each and every one of these women get so free and have such an unique experience with You that they will begin to win souls for Your Kingdom as well and they too ...will impact others.....

Lord, I pray as leaders, we are also touched and taught and we are open to what ALL You have planned....

Lord, I pray that 'us' leaders won't allow our flesh to dictate our minds that we refresh each moment with YOUR word and believe that YOU will do what YOU want to do...

Lord, I pray that I continue to impact others - I want to hear 'well done my good and faithful servant' when I see you....I want the rewards in heaven.  I do.

I want freedom for each of these ladies and I want a fresh word, a direct word for each of the leaders as well...

Now as I close, I pray God that if someone reads this and wants this Encounter as well, that they would seek YOU and seek me out...as they can participate too, in YOUR time and at our next Encounter.  I believe and KNOW,  YOU are going to do great and mighty miracles  this weekend...I can SO believe it will happen, as the Enemy has been attacking like a roaring lion these past two days -- wow and whoa...

I pray the women coming are using their shield of faith and their breastplate of righteousness to ward off the firey  darts of the enemy - he is such a liar.   As I am pretty sure he is attacking them as well...wanting them to stay in their strongholds and stay defeated....but God wins. I know Satan wants nothing but for us to give up.  I was clearly attacked yesterday as emotions and 'notions' flooded my head and took me to a dark place so quickly I had to seek HIS word to remind myself.....the enemy is a liar.  Praise God that I can refute the enemy with facts, HIS word, and healing....but yet...this attack was so real and personal and I believe God allowed it, to remind me...we have a daily walk and take up our cross daily. If we are not vigilant -- we can easily be swayed and deceived ALL over again.

This was illustrated today when my husband and I were just chatting, praying, and being grown ups and discussing my thoughts.  VEry quickly and innocently, he can share something that makes the past three years seem like 5 minutes ago and very quickly my flesh WANTS to wallow in a pity party and it demands some sort of restitution or it wants to inflict pain in another.

I was floored at HOW fast it came on me.  THAT was a direct assault.  (As it has been nearly 2-3 months since that has happened,  most of the hurting memories or flashbacks are buried in the past and  really  not remembered too often.)   If that happens to me...why would it not come onto my husband as well?  What was I thinking?  Now there was the Holy Spirit reminding me to show mercy and then I had compassion for a brief moment as I could feel my husband's pain...but it was quickly swallowed up by my own flesh and memories.

All of this in a matter of 45 seconds....it was not awkward - it was REAL.

Grown up stuff.    But,  just as quickly as it came over me, God's words ...which are hidden in my heart TOOK over and I began to pray and recite a favorite scripture that I always go to - Ex. 14.14 - The lOrd will fight for me and I need only be still.  As I prayed and soaped up my hair,  now I was in the shower and chatting, I looked up toward the sunlight in the room, and opened my eyes to see a cross illuminated in the towel -- threads were missing.

God's glory was everywhere and I was overcome.  My tears of worry  had quickly turned to tears of joy and a humbling....as my husband was speaking the words, "I know I  must guard my heart but it is hard"....I heard God say as I looked at the cross, "I already took it ALL to the cross".

I hope that made sense...as you read this...trying to piece together the right words, and yet remain somewhat private is hard.  I am pretty sure my man would be 'ok' with me sharing this, but then again, I am sure he does not want to discuss this in Applebee's the next time you see him...it is sensitive and hard but it is REAL.

Lord,  THAT was a classic GOD tidbit RIGHT at the RIGHT time that brought  tears of joy to me...to remind me YOU love me THAT much to go to the cross  - the rest is irrelevant.   This was only an attack and the rest of the day, thank you for reminding my husband that I needed extra TLC and words of affirmation.  YOU win Lord, Amen!

Now, if you are reading this and you are a prayer warrior  - please keep me in your prayers this weekend, Friday - Sunday as Fountain of Life Church has their first Woman's Encounter Weekend.  Our first one is called...The Cross and the Crown.  I covet your prayers that all of the needs are met, that each woman arrives safely and that she opens her heart and eyes to what God has for her and for the leadership team as well - that we are in one accord and that we are in HIS will.  Amen.  I thank you!

Can you see it, see my fingers in the shadow? Look carefully at the threads that are missing - see the cross?  Well I did - it was perfect as the sun shown in, all I could see through the soap in my eyes is the reminder, HE took it all to the cross. period.