When one thinks of purity - what do you naturally think of? I think of sex. Being pure.
But in reality - it is a state of your heart. Maybe? I believe so.
Pure thoughts vs impure thoughts.
Pure motivations vs impure motivations.
Pure intentions vs impure intentions.
Several weeks ago my friend and Pastor spoke about losing your 1st love. As I listened and took notes - I knew in my 'deep downs' ( that is a quoted spot from a child's book by Kate DiCamillo called The Tale of Despereaux ) that there was something that God was asking me to be purified of.
But as I took notes, I knew I was going to rebel.
That first Commandment says that we are to Love God above all else and the 2nd one is to love people as well.
Ps. Cary asked some questions and statements to make us think. And he took us to Revelation 2: 1-7
I know all that you’ve done for me—you have worked hard and persevered. I know that you don’t tolerate evil. You have tested those who claimed to be apostles and proved they are not, for they were imposters. 3 I also know how you have bravely endured trials and persecutions because of my name, yet you have not become discouraged.[c] 4 But I have this against you: you have abandoned the passionate love you had for me at the beginning.[d] 5 Think about how far you have fallen! Repent[e] and do the works of love you did at first.[f] I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place of influence if you do not repent. 6 Although, to your credit, you despise the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also despise.[g] 7 The one whose heart is open let him listen carefully to what the Spirit is saying now to all the churches.[h] To the one who overcomes[i] I will give access to feast on the fruit of the Tree of Life that is found in the paradise of God.[j]
Why do people lose their first love?
He questioned - why have we left our first love? Distractions? Maybe we have a new love that has taken a new place in our heart?
Everything or anything can be used by God -- the good, the yucky, the hard and the glorious - HE will use to draw us close. He can heal and remove our strongholds as HE wants YOU in heaven. He loves you that much.
He loves me that much.
God doesn't work for me -- He works through me and He will work with me -- but He doesn't work for me.
Pastor Cary reminded us of God's Word -- that many have fallen.
We have fallen.
I have fallen.
- Many settle for remorse rather than repentance. Ouch ......
- Repentance means a change of direction, a change of attitude, and it may mean a radical change of our lifestyle.
- God still requires stuff of us believers -- He disciples because He has unconditional love for us but this love does require some conditions - cause HE loves us.
He ended the message with...want to argue? Read His Book.....
We need to confess sin, get rid of anything remotely questionable in our lives, Obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and publicly confess Christ as our Savior.
The World really doesn't run off people from going to church.
His people in the Church run off people from the church. Ouch...
Then he stated:
His POWER will only show up where there is PURITY in place!!
Another question asked: What do I need to remove, so that I have that POWER?
Then he ended the message with a question - "How long do you think you have left?"
Powerful message - powerful words that stirred and so ....now what?
Well, it has been two months -- Bren and I got in the car that day and began to talk about the 'what' that maybe God wants us to remove. We felt that we were "good".
Ps. Cary was very wise in the fact that so often ...what God will allow with one ...He won't allow with another.
We discussed a few examples.
In the case of alcohol -- this can be a very touchy subject. In the bible there is discussion for it and against it. For us - our home - we never really liked the taste and it never really became an issue. There was a time where we judged and condemned others for engaging -- but we have matured and we do enjoy a glass of wine here or there. There is no stronghold here. But out of respect, we pay attention to others and if it bothers another - we refrain.
In the case of those, Walking dead - Joker - Game of Thrones - horror shows-- we just don't. I can't see that gruesome stuff and sleep -- and we'd rather spend time seeking life or positive shows rather than get involved with stuff. For me -- my eyes take in a lot. I know that I can't place certain images or thoughts into my mind......as they can manipulate and trigger past hurts and strongholds and so therefore - we remove ourselves or make sure our eyes are guarded. WE don't judge those who do, but I do question some times, "Why Lord would those parents let their children watch THAT???" Forgive me.
So as I said, Bren and I sought God.
So now comes the confession.
In our awkward and counseling years, it was VERY hard to find TV shows that we both could watch. I can only watch so much football or basketball. Believe it or not -- we began to watch the REAL Housewives of Beverly Hills. It was something we could watch and laugh at. When one of them went through therapy as there was infidelity, we actually had discussion and discussion about stuff. It was a good thing. Weird - but good. In our therapy - there were topics that we didn't approach ...but through a silly TV show - we could. Again - being transparent here - don't judge us.
So we connected to the show.
So, fast forward 6- 7 seasons and we dVR it and take the time to "enjoy" some mindless and stupid TV. But as we hit the beginning of school and the next season with it's promos -- we both had a check in our Spirit about spending an hour watching this present season. We watched the opening trailer and heard the name of God in vain. We witnessed some major fights with physical nudity and we also could tell -- that this was literally going to be a very CRASS season. And we talked about not watching it and giving it up. ( Like we were making a sacrifice. Ha ha .. Ya, forgive us Lord.)
But you know what??
We talked about it. We began to justify it and in reality -- it is a show that does not glorify God -and seriously plays off the hurt of others, yet we still justified it.
However, we justified it because - we both still have our quiet time. We both still attend church faithfully and we don't dwell on their topics or stuff. We justified it cause it wasn't like having alcohol in a house of a drunk. We didn't allow this Culture to seep into our actions.
Until today - this am.
With Volleyball season, our nights are limited and we had two taped shows to catch up on. So we hit the play button and as we are making breakfast this morning and fast forwarding through some of the ti-raids, we'd stop and laugh and speak about HOW stupid the fights were. We reminded each other of how the one character ( Shannon ) is NOW becoming the peacemaker but at the last season the shoe was on the other foot and THEN she ( Shannon ) indeed - make it a problem. I hear us talk about these real people and we both agreed that it is STUPID TV. Then we began to watch the 2nd show and .......and then I knew ...I got up and said -"that is it".
I can't watch this anymore.
I went in the other room and told my husband, " Bren, God asked me to give this up two months ago and I didn't." " I can't watch naked women - even when their parts are muted -- it triggers stuff and this is not good!"
Bren quickly agreed and we stopped the show. Deleted the saved shows and went to the MENU to make sure that nothing of that show was taped in the future.
You see -- we witnessed, listened to, a conversation between the women, about having a 3-some. Yep. Of course the producers placed a commercial in the middle of that conversation and so we HAD to hear the explanation and I even found myself looking to see if they would complete the discussion before the end of the hour or if it was going to be a cliff hanger.
And that is when I got up - I was disgusted.
Lord, I am so sorry - for allowing this.
This is not a HIGH place Lord.
We both stopped - prayed...repented.... deleted what needed to be deleted and reminded ourselves that we need to make sure that WHAT we put into our heads and hearts is indeed pure.
You see - 5-6 years ago - it wan't a 'sin' for us...NOW it is.
And I debated and prayed about whether or not to blog. But, I feel that indeed -- THIS is my therapy spot. I blog and pray. I share. I am always to be authentic. And I am transparent, but indeed this touched on some private stuff - a look into our home. But God wins and gets the glory. This isn't nothing I wouldn't share with another -- it is a moment where we matured a little more. And I know - God is pleased.
As a Church and a body of believers, have we left the HIGH places?
Do we view God as a HOLY God?
What is in your house that kids have seen and you deem "ok" and yet.... it is not?
What are our kids seeing us do in moderation -- that they will do in excess?
What we tolerate in our home -Your kids will blow up.
And THAT will be one of the many things the enemy uses to begin to whisper -- YOU are Guilty and YOU are not worthy.
What have you made a "treaty" with and are OK with and yet -- your kids and grand kids may not see it as Holy or a High Place?
Are there Soul Ties to "things" in your home?
I want the POWER in my home...my life...my heart..and I want others to see something in me that they WANT.
To want be that person -- I need to be obedient.
I have not lost my first love - but as a walking and talking believer WHO daily seeks God -- I am human and I sin... and as EACH layer comes off, I resemble HIM more.
THAT is what I want my children and Grandchildren to see.
I want them to have a legacy of faith!
Lord, may the reader hear my heart and ask himself or herself?
Have I left my first love?
Lord, may the reader hear my heart and ask himself or herself -- what needs to be removed?
Lord, use this. Forgive me. I learn things - we learn things the hard way. However, Lord, we know that its your GRACE and MERCY that indeed -- gives us more life and more love. And I praise you Lord, may this blog be a form of worship to MY heart for YOU.
IN Jesus name. Amen.
Lord, she has permission to share this - and print it out for another if needed -- amen.
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