Faith over Feelings prayer #26 -- Friendships and letdowns

As a kid, I had a neighbor that became a close friend.  I could walk to her house and her older sisters would babysit me and my siblings.  When we got to grade school, we went to different ones,  but our bus rides home were always a way to connect and on the weekends - it was the  BEST when we invited her over to play 'doctor'.

 Yes... we'd clean out the utensil drawers and my brothers were the ambulance men and they'd  bring in a patient from an accident.  She'd lay them down on our outside chase lounger and she would begin to diagnose the problem and use the utensils to have surgery as my sister and I would take notes on fake charts.  Mind you -- the ambulance guys - my bothers had to take turns being the patient and the doctor's helper, and  sometimes I had to fill in as   the rescuer as well!  Kid fun...Imagination.  Those are memories I will treasure. 

School starts and our classmates become our friends - then it  become a thing or a BIG deal to have a BF  or best friend.  Yet, if you are gone a few days due to illness or something else happens, you may return to school the very next day  being the odd man out and need to find a new best friend.  Can anyone relate?  We didn't have social media or cell phones then - it was all word of mouth or face to face confrontations or secrets...or notes.  Either way, I have a feeling the insecurity of 'losing' a friend or being let down was JUST AS powerful back then - 40 years ago as it can be now. 

Become wise by walking with the wise;    hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces

Enter adulthood and you realize that more of your acquaintances were or are better friends with each other than you are with them.  Your spouse becomes your best friend and yet, there are still things that you really don't want to share with him.  Work friends become important  and become those best fiends but eventually the Lord brings you true friends.  People that you share common spiritual intersession  or interests and yet still -- there are times when you can stop and think..."do I really have friends?".  The enemy is such a liar. 

I have noticed that some women do have those needed or close friendships.  I do not.  I mean - I know that Oprah and Gail King speak to each other EACH day on the phone.  They have 'coined' or given us the example of what BEST FRIENDS should look like.  I don't have that.  And that is OK. 

 For many years the enemy used that as a weapon. What I have learned in my 'wisdom' is that Jesus has really become my true and best friend.  He never fusses at me, Holy Spirit  corrects me with loving grace and kindness and always leads me back to truth, and Jesus is right there - to pick me up and dust off the bruises or cuts and heals me back again.  I feel that, truly -- HE is indeed my best friend.  I do call on him daily -- hourly -- sometimes every few minutes.  

  I know that I know - I have dear people that I can call upon to help me, to pray for me, and to love me when I am feeling down.   And, I have experienced those dear ones contacting me  -JUST when I needed them.  THAT is God's provision and grace as well as His kindness.  As sometimes we NEED physical contact.  

The Lord has brought me several  women in different seasons that have been on my speed dial, daily,  and then in a new season,  months may go by ...even years... and they are NOT on my speed dial but  we can pick up where we left off.

 THAT to me is healthy.   THAT is God. 

 And in the meantime -- my spouse has gone from being just my  partner and lover to my dear best friend.  There are still things that I probably should not share with him so I will call my daughter or a pal -- but for the most part this friendship thing is finally becoming understandable. 

Is it cause I am  older?  Maybe.

 Is it because I am more secure in WHOM God made me to me -- oh ya! 

 Or is it because THIS is  HOW God designed me?    Probably.  Yes.  There is such peace.

God designed us to be connected -- we are to be spiritually connected with Him, our spouses, and the body or bride of Christ ...but in healthy ways. 

Become wise by walking with the wise;    hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces

Over the years, I know I have let many dear friends down.  I have gossiped or shared a story that was to be kept to myself.  I have also loved them too much at times.   And, I have felt the 'cling-i-ness' so much that the enemy has been able to use it against me.   Don't forget family in that mix of friends ---  throw in  3 sisters.... my  siblings. Then throw in a sister - n - law -- well, eight of them to be exact, let's just say that indeed -- I have let some friendships down.   I fail cause I am  human.  And they fail me -- as I have expectations that they can't meet.      I pray I have made amends by now... but I know that if there is still something being held in offense..the LORD will bring it out in HIS timing. 

So indeed having friendships is designed by God but the enemy can really mess it up! 

I am unsure where this finds you today -- maybe you can relate to my 'friends' or maybe you are struggling because you want your spouse to be that best friend.  

Maybe your best friend has become MORE of a prayer warrior and partner to you than you own husband and indeed - THAT will bring trials. 

 I am unsure but the Lord woke me today with this idea and a dream which I am now being obedient to share. 



The Dream:

I was in a gala or big event and all dressed up.  It was all women.  I was at that awkward moment when you enter and you see about 5-6 people that you do know and would  sit next too.   However, you really only want this one  to notice you,  and you really only want to sit next to her,    or  that  she would ask you to be at her table, does this relate?   Can I get a witness?  Have you been there?   

Ok, well, I looked around and saw her and  she smiled and motioned me to sit next to her.  Relief.  That AWKWARD moment was fixed.  Thank you Lord.  As I got closer, she grabbed her  empty juice glass and asked me to get her some orange juice.  I quickly obliged.   But as I roamed the room, I noticed a mirror and checked my face.   

No makeup - nothing.  My hair was flat.  I immediately began to ask myself, "how did this happen?"  Did I not shower?  Then I looked at my clothes - I was then under dressed.

 After a few more looks in the mirror, and a self talk to myself that I looked fine, I began to search for the OJ she wanted. I could hear the enemy or even God say to me -- YOU are being distracted!   I had a mission to accomplish. 

  There were stations around the room where others were getting their drinks.  I went to the first one and there was only ice left - no OJ.  So I proceeded to the next... only ice and I clearly could see how I was JUST late, the person before me had the last drop.  And I went to a third one and as I approached, the lady in front of me emptied out the jar of OJ and I watched - I had missed the opportunity again.  And suddenly I was very aware of HOW much time had escaped since she sent me to get the OJ.  I felt like an HOUR had transpired.    

I then began to think, WHAT can I do?  I looked around and noticed that EVERY table was OUT of OJ and as I walked back to her table, our table, I felt tremendous shame that I messed up. And I found myself making excuses and getting flustered and then...  And then I woke up.


After the Dream: 

I spent a good deal of time this am with God and asking Him to tell me WHAT it meant.  I can see the face of this dear pal, so I asked Him.  What does this mean?  Will I disappoint her?  Why am I trying to impress her with the OJ or why do I feel shame that I failed to get it to her fast enough ...cause I was worried about my appearance? 

All very good questions. We are allowed to question our Lord.  He wants communication with us as HE does call us...me...His friend.  

I learned  years  ago, through another dear warrior in Christ,  that dreams can indeed be God speaking to us -- but they can also be the late  night piece of pizza or chocolate cake we ate that made our sugar levels affect our sleep and our dreams can be crazy or silly.

  But I knew this dream had something to teach me and speak to me.  In fact, I felt it was fodder for this blog. I had gone to bed, asking God to give me purpose as I wanted to blog again this weekend.  

 BTW if it is a silly dream - we are just to say - that was a silly dream-- and let it go.  SEEK the Holy Spirit if it has meaning to it.  If you are continually seeking and reading God's Word -- you will probably be most confident to know if it is dream to be concerned  with or to  seek Jesus about -- or if indeed -- it was the late night piece of pizza.  


Maybe one day this dear pal  and myself will be in a room at some sort of breakfast gala and she will send me for OJ and we will laugh about it. 

 But honestly, as I prayed about this  blog and sought Jesus I do believe HE wanted to remind me of something.    And, HE even gave me a quick confirmation that indeed -- I am the OJ that some people need at times. 

HE is the OJ that ALL of us need - ALL the time.  HE is the only one WHO can quench our thirst.  HE is the only one who won't fail us and let us down.  But indeed - He can work and speak to others through us.   Through me.... 

 And there will be times when I won't be able to meet the need for a friend, even  working through the grace of Jesus,  helping me and fighting for me --but that is OK as well. 

He, God,  reminded me  that I didn't need to feel shame or the feeling of failure if I was unable to see the "fruit" of the present situation -- but that HE was  at work and HE would bring fruit and fruition to the circumstance.   In other words, be His hands and feet and serve -- but HE would provide the OJ...HE will provide the truth...HE will do it.  

Bottom line-  I believe the Lord was just reminding me that HE uses me.  I am obedient in serving Him --even when I can't fully SEE the Harvest -- HE is still going to have me 'find some OJ" for another.  And THAT gives me great peace.  I want to make Jesus famous and I want WHAT He  does for me -- for others -- for other women.  For my friends.  

And as I said, with this dream,  this am, GOD brought me another one of HIS precious daughters that reminded me -- that HE orchestrates our true friendships.  She is indeed a new person that I am getting to know -- but yet, we have SO much in Common -- CHRIST and what He DID for her ...HE DID for me.   We didn't need the 45+ years of back history and  back story to be friends in love with Our Lord.. we only need to be Christlike.  He orchestrated it and it was a sweet time this am with a new friend.  

Let's pray faith over these feelings for our friendships:  

Lord, for the one reading this today - I pray she hasn't been beaten up by the enemy about friendships or the lack of friendships --

I also pray for the ones reading this and they can sympathize with me about how the enemy can use our friendships as a source of insecurity  and how he can remind us that we fail those we love -- 

Lord, I also pray that this blog would resonate and bring truth to the one who needs it as indeed, I can see how this silly and meaningful dream can speak truth -- YOU are the OJ..and yet, you are never empty or is there  any lack of YOU .... YOU are right here - all we need to do is SEEK and ASK.  

Lord, for those friendships that come and go in seasons - bless them, use them --

Lord, for the new friendships through YOU that indeed bless us and me...but also bless others -- 

Lord, for the ones dear to us that are "out of our season" at the moment -- whether it is because of hurts, untruths, or circumstances -- in Your time, if there are still offences - bring them forth so repentance can occur and healing can transpire.  

Lord, for the ones that we have loved as friends but ONLY YOU can bring them back to the center of YOUR will and our lives...we will trust and wait on that timing ..... as YOU know best -- 

And finally Lord, for the wives that read on social media "how their  husbands are their BEST friends" 

but, as they think of their own husbands ....and they are NOT their best friends and this causes shame and hurt and comparison. 

 I was there. 
 I know how the enemy used that to hurt and harm not only me but our marriage -- but now...Lord...there is redemption and reconstruction...and a NEW friendship that can only be attributed to YOU Lord - so for that I am most grateful ...but I pray for that WIFE reading this now - who WANTS that desperately -- I pray she will hold steady and continue to pray for him and his heart - that one day - she will come to me ...and tell me - thanks for MAKING me pray for him...as NOW I have a true friend in my husband. 

 And Lord...the glory won't be for me...it will be FOR YOU!  YOU won.  

In Jesus most HOLY name...Amen. 

 Colossians 3:12-14 TPT

You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others. 13 Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them. 14 For love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues. Love becomes the mark[k] of true maturity.