Warning signs - being watchful!

...so peaceful -- unaware that anyone snapped a photo.....

As I was driving to school today, this blog came and  now I  write.

 IN the past few days,  as I have been in prayer, hearing from God, hearing from others, and listening; I continue to hear about being watchful.

Being alert.
Being on guard.
Being prayed up!

Warning signs......

As a child, and about to start the 3rd grade and I watched my mom and extended family deal with the news and then burial  of my Grandfather.  He committed suicide.    It would of been 1974.  Back then, people did not discuss problems or situations---much less Mental health issues.  Mental health issues  were NOT something you could google and find advice.

 But in all of that - I observed   a few things.   My mom kept asking and trying to find out information about the warning signs that were missed.   And one of the pieces of advice  that my mom was given  and I have held onto for years is:  'when you are talking about committing suicide - it does not usually happen, but it is the one person that DOES not talk - that is whom you have to worry about'.  I can hear the person speak that into my mom's ears.  I can hear my   mom repeat it to others if I close my eyes and I have said it and thought it often myself.

 Now I  don't know if  that is  true  nor do I think it is invalid.  I have seen in my life, how the 'quiet' ones ....are the ones that  suddenly surprise you.


What are the warning signs?  

1 Peter 5.8 says we need to watch and be careful  as the enemy is looking to devour....
1 Cor 16.13 says to be on guard, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, and be strong...
Matt 24. 42-244 says we are to watch, as we don't know the hour at hand when Jesus will return...


Being watchful.
Being alert.
Being aware -- and be prayed up.

Many times when a crisis of faith hits us, we stop and thing, "where did this come from?"  "What did I miss?"   

And when we watch another walk into a crisis, we automatically say, "I never saw it coming.".

Most often the crisis did not just happen....it had been building for awhile or there was a spiritual door left open and the enemy just slowly weaseled  its way into the fiber of the being....and began to kill, steal, and/or destroy.  ........and many times there are warning signs - but we fail to see them.

Other times, I believe we do see warning signs but we are too busy to stop and dig deep into the root of the problem.   Or maybe we think they will just go away.

And I bet  - that often, many  just fall into a pattern and allow the 'business' of this world to take over our very basic need to spend TIME WITH GOD and so we don't have a quiet time with Him.

I know that with me.  I was NOT paying attention.  When  problems, squabbles, or crisis moments happened early in my marriage - I believed I could figure out the why and the what and then fix it.  And as I grew older, I just got better at fixing the immediate problem -- but never allowing the ROOT to be addressed. A crack or a tear left on its own will tear more and crack further.

My husband and I were married young. I can only speak for myself, but I bet my husband would agree,
that,  as time goes on and certain patterns surface there are warning signs - but are they realized?  Can we really see them?    For example, one warning sign I now realize we displayed was  being too busy for some church type of family ...and being to busy to attend church.  WE found and kept  finding excuses  to justify that staying at home and watching church on TV/Internet  was better anyway .......  now  THOSE  are some warning signs. It is not good to be isolated from others. Others that can help keep you accountable.

I noticed that I had less patience at my job, less patience with my children, and even less patience with our dog.  There was increased 'negativity' around our home -- a warning sign.  And as that negativity grew...the time spent with God decreased.  That was a warning sign.

Not having a consistent  quiet time,  where me and GOD had time to communicate .....THAT was a warning sign.

I think  when there is a communication break down with God - our Heavenly Father -- we do begin to realize it ....but maybe we just pretend and believe that maybe it will just go away.   I think many times, we just don't want to deal with it as well -- we think that maybe by ignoring it -- it will go away.

 And, sometimes I think the Holy Spirit prompts and prompts us over and over, until we just harden our hearts to any sort of conviction.   The Holy Spirit is such a gentlemen, He continues to speak to us and convict but  if we begin to get 'hard' and ignore....  Now there is a warning sign....but it is one that ONLY you and God can see....  

   Well, maybe a spouse can see it too.....         I saw it........   but it did not make me  pursue my Lord  any further.

It was only after something broke or the earthquake hit  -- then,   I knew, I was in the middle of a crisis of faith.  And then I  saw those warning signs - clearly.  But I did not  really understand that I had been ignoring them until much later....I was not alert.  And I was not prayed up.

That had to change.

Then I began to be.......alert...prayed up....guarded....and I changed.


Lord, I think about the ones reading this...I pray they are not like HP in the photo--asleep and unaware. God I pray that each and every person reading this, is prayed up...alert, courageous and on guard.  Lord, I pray that the enemy does not find ANY open doorways within my own life and heart....God I need Your guidance and I wish only to do Your will.  Lord, for anyone reading this and feels the Holy Spirit convicting them of their own warning signs...may they have the courage to get with you ASAP and find a church home to continue this.  Lord, for anyone reading this and feels they are 'fine' and 'free from any type of attack from the Enemy'....OH God...I pray protection over them and I pray their eyes would open -- and not be haughty as to think ...'that will never happen to me'...OH God... I pray they will come before you and seek repentance and seek YOU ....and Lord, I pray that I will remain alert, watchful, and that I am prayed up.  God...for the one reading this tonight or today and they are listening to the Comforter....God I pray you will direct and lead them to a body of believers...I pray you will lead them to a cell group of some sort....and you  will be glorified,  God I pray that when we need a warning sign - we get it...Lord, I pray that non of these children will need a sick  IN Jesus name. Amen

MY MOM....(s)

Happy Mother's Day to first my mom.
 Sandy.  In the photo  below where she is holding Taylor --at about a week old, I did the math and she is probably 46 in that photo --I am already older at this point.

My other mom is my mother-n-law.  Marilyn, I did the math on her too -- she was just 2 years older  in that photo than I am presently.

Those 'ages' sort of freaked me out at first -- because today I have been teasing Brendan that we are now "GRANDS" ....to  a puppy - Taylor got herself a baby this week
- she weighs all of 2 pounds and her head is still a little to big and she falls over here and there - but she is a cutie!

Not that my moms are old or that I am, I just had a little laugh and pondering moment in realization of 'where' my moms were in time when ...Taylor arrived.  TP was a first grandkid for my Mom - now she has 20+ .......I would have to stop and count to be specific but I am too tired.

And Marilyn has a few more than TP now  - but Taylor was her 2nd granddaughter.

And now with Taylor getting a puppy - and believe me it is like having a newborn in the house -- well, it just has made me laugh and appreciate motherhood all over again.

My mom, Sandy, Taylor and Marilyn 

 Seriously -- I have been preparing this  blog for over an month now- but now  it is midnight on the eve of Mother's Day and I am just finding the right photos to post....

I guess I really had to just wait for Taylor's little one to be a part of this family too.


BTW- Hunter is home for summer, he and Brendan enjoyed the Miami Game and I heard HP yell at the TV a few times....and Bella, our 7 year old Boston, was asleep on Hunter's legs.  Elsa, Taylor's Boston ( 8 weeks ), was asleep on Brendan's chest and Taylor and I were busy doing other necessary stuff -- the house was full - is full and my HEART is happy.

I do enjoy being a mom and having both of them home -- for the present time. And this entire day has been one big Mother's Day present!


 So - back to Mother's Day -- First to my MOm......Mom, Happy Mother's Day - if you were here, you would be joining us for a drive over to St. Pete to meet more family and enjoy a First Communion Service.  If you were here, there would be a big hug -  probably no card - this is it, but there would be some good fun.  If you were here, I would tell you this face to face.  

Thank you for teaching me unconditional love, giving me your talent to write,  and sharing with me the  many secret hiding places where you would stash chocolate.  ......

Thank you for the ears that were cleaned out and the times you would try to have peace and quiet in the bathtub and we always invaded your spot.  Thank you for Sour Cream Twists and the ability to go to the refrigerator and put together something.  AND.....How could one forget the endless trays of Rice Krispie treats that were our first breakfast bars.  

Mom - thank you for teaching me the value of friendship and loyalty.  Mom, you taught me perseverance.  And Mom...even though we are far away , your photo is on my dresser and I look at you each morning and say hello and pray.  Even though we don't see eye to eye on some topics...I do respect your opinions and listen.   Mom, my worth ethic is also because of YOU.  I love you and miss you - and I pray the REST of my siblings did something spectacular....cause they are close!!  LOL! 
 I pray a blessing over you - that you will remain healthy and full of energy to continue the task at hand - there is much for to do for the Kingdom of God.   Happy Mother's Day!

Blake and Taylor - probably 1996-97.

Taylor and Elsa on their way home.

Taylor and our first Boston - whizzer!  

My Mother's Day 1992

 To Other Moms....the photo above is of Taylor at my 2nd Mother's Day - what a joy a child brings...

Lord, I pray right now for the many moms who are hurting. I pray for the ones who have lost their children and I pray for the ones that have such little ones right now and they are just trying to juggle a job, a family, and everything else besides making sure there are plenty of diapers and orange juice.   - God may each and everyone of them understand that being a mom is a blessing and a calling  and I pray that any hurting mom will find comfort in your arms  this Mother's Day Weekend -  I especially ask a blessing upon my sister - who lost  her child several years ago, but my how you had the healing already planned as she enjoys a grand-daughter from her daughter and she gets to enjoy another son -  we will believe that Blake is planning a big  Mother's Day party for us all  when we are  in heaven! -  I pray for the women I know with teenagers - God - that they will continue to cover them with prayers and believe that God has great plans for them.  And I pray for a dear one and her 2 year old who are going through the valley right now - may, by this time next year, the confusion that seems to plague them right now--be gone.   God that each of these moms put YOU first -- as with that in perspective -- the rest will fall into place.   amen.  

I am a mom of two -- TP and this is HP...on his golf cart - typical Sunday afternoon.

Now for my next mom - Happy Mother's Day to Marilyn,  whom I affectionally call 'mom'  as well.   Mom - thank you for raising a son that has become the God's  mate for me.  Thank you for the endless words of encouragement and prayers for me and my kids...and your boy.  Thank you for always watching out for us, grabbing the bill at Pogey's and for reminding me that our time is precious.  

 Thank you for what you have taught me as well, especially how to listen to the Holy Spirit.  

I pray a blessing over you - that you will remain healthy and full of energy to continue the task at hand - there is much for to do for the Kingdom of God.   You are a welcome of marital wisdom and godly wisdom and you dote over us so.   Most importantly,  thank you for the endless errands  and stuff you did for Brendan and I as we raised out kids -- like staying home with a sick one and babysitting a puppy ...whizzer each day.  We owe you a bunch, Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day -- especially to  my sisters -- Diann, Brittan, Jeanette,
                     -My Sisters - n laws.... Becky, Janette, Tina, MArcia, Kristi, Tiffany and Laurie
                      -Erica - who is going to deliver soon and to Alyssa who just had her girl last night.
  And the list can go on  - seriously - I am thinking of one right this moment  that needs a reminder that God is in control with her daughter and she will come to repentance!!    - So I will stop at this and not try to list or name them all -- as they know whom they are and they will use the follow prayer to cover their children this morning.

Lord, thank you for being a mom.  Lord, thank you for the blessing and the honor to instill the love of Jesus into their lives...thank you for the provisions you give and thank you for the continued love , grace and mercy.  Lord, ONLY you can make a 'perfect child'...that was Your son which we thank you for, I pray a blessing over all the mom's I know - may they seek YOU first today and may their children - give them the love and honor they deserve...IN Jesus name  - amen.  And Lord for the men of these women -- may they too - honor their wives today - with YOUR grace and mercy .  Amen.

And  - if you love me and you are a mom ...  and this blog touched you  -- then --THIS note is to remind you - GOD is in control but you must let Him be.  

God bless - hugs and kisses to my moms....- chell 

Wishing some mom's some happy .....

I was greeted today with a Facebook post from a new friend and  sweet sister in Christ.  She   gave me greetings and a HAPPY MOTHER' S Day wish .....

It made me smile.    Thank you N....

I know what I am doing for my "moms"...that will be a different blog - but --

I began to write the names of women around me that are moms and whom I would WANT to send greetings to.

I used to send LOTS of cards, I had a "stronghold of Hallmark" on me and I could not walk past a Hallmark store without spending 1/5 of my paycheck on cards.

Seriously, I am an encourager and I enjoy sending an old fashioned card or send a letter.

But, buying cards could of become an addiction - the root was my 'need for affirmation' and so therefore, when I sent cards there was a benefit or a pay off.  But in all that time, the BURDEN of having to buy or send a card took over.  Then I got to the point where I just did not do it anymore.  Now....after much thought and I basically have changed a bunch....I still visit the Hallmark Store but cards now have taken on a different purpose.  Some get a birthday card - others don't.  But I really allow the Holy Spirit to guide me and I know when HE is prompting me to encourage.  

OK, I said all of that to say this....

I began a list today and I wanted to think of every mom I knew and love and send them some sort of note of encouragement.  Of course I could just put a general status on Facebook  but I really wanted it to be different -- and the idea of this list consumed me.

 Right off the bat, I could list 10 women and those are just my family - my sisters.
Then there are the sisters -n-law and the aunts and a grandmother.
And then I thought of my colleagues at work, the insurance office, my sisters in Christ at church and then my cell group and then the moms of students...and before I knew it - my list was well over 100.
 I think if  I would of continued .....the list would of become - 200.  Well,  I mean, I have over 900 Facebook friends...LOL.  ( me smiling to myself - I think really only about 50 of them probably are still on Facebook and active...)

Again, I say all of that to say this....I was honored, blessed, and speechless to think and  to KNOW  -- THAT many women  and I know my list  was not done.

And I realized that the TIME I would  need to do what I wanted to do - was a bit excessive.

 So....

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY...

Some of you are waiting on God -
Some of you are in pain right now -
Some of you have just had a 'bomb' go off in your house -
Some of you are waiting on a baby to born -
Some of you are very happy and serving in ministry -
Some of you are new to Christ and want to learn more -
Some of you have little ones -
Some of you have teens -
Some of you have grown children -
Some of you are being a mom to your mother -
Some of you are sad because of the loss of your child or parent -
Some of you are on your knees in prayer for the wayward child -
Some of you want to hear from God so desperately for direction -
Some of you got a prophetic dream and can't wait to get to church tomorrow and ask what it means -
Some of you have been in a valley - but you are on the rise coming out of it -
Some of you are heading into a valley and you don't even know it -
Some of you are mentored and counseled because you want freedom for real -
Some of you can't balance your checkbook -
Some of you wished you had a balance of some sort in your bank to balance -
Some of you spent way to much money on something and now feel conviction -
Some of you are trying to figure out just where next month's rent will come from -
Some of you are grandmothers that are raising your grandchildren -
Some of you are single -
Some of you are happily married and others - ready to give up -
Some of you are sick at the moment -
Some of you are ready to run a marathon -

...ALL of you are LOVED by the God of the Universe.  HE named the stars, HE actually knows the NUMBER of hairs on your head and HE called you into existence even before HE created the Earth.  That is maybe hard to understand...but HE knows.....HE knows you exactly and LOVES you just the same.  

And HE entrusted you ...a child...some child...or maybe children...or even a child to adopt or guide spiritually....either way - we are all connected because we are Moms.

LOrd, bless them on this day.  May each and everyone of them, feel YOUR loving arms and have a sense of HOPE and purpose and may each of these moms feel that blessing tomorrow on Mother's Day and each day thereafter...IN Jesus name, Amen. 

am I STRONG or WEAK? ......

A sister in Christ stated something to me this past week -- "God wants me to be weak" and her friend said, "no HE wants us to be strong"......

I have thought about that -- and thought.

Could they be saying the same thing?

Joshua 1:9"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

Isaiah 40:31Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. 

Isaiah 41:10

'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

Philippians 4:13I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

I'm weak!  From the Urban dictionary: 

An expression from Virginia Beach, VA that means the person is entertained, amused or hysterical. Origin could be from the fact that when you laugh so hard your knees and/or body becomes weak. (ALSO "I'm so weak" or "I was so weak")

From the regular dictionary - weak: 

adjective

1. 1.

   lacking the power to perform physically demanding tasks; lacking physical strength and energy.

   "she was recovering from the flu and was very weak"

   synonyms:

   frail, feeble, delicate, fragile; More

2.

liable to break or give way under pressure; easily damaged.

"the salamander's tail may be broken off at a weak spot near the base"

2 Corinthians 12:9-11

New International Version (NIV)

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Opps...there it is on the bottom of vs. 10 in Corinthians........

For when I am weak....then I am strong.  

I think what impressed me the most is that I must be weak....lacking in spiritual strength and energy that ONLY WITH Jesus...ONLY WITH God...can I become strong.  

This prayer is for - a sister in Christ, as I write - it is for me too...and maybe it is for the stranger who reads this toda.

 I found it and decided to write it again in the first person as if I was praying for myself.  IN some regards - I am, but read it as if YOU were praying:  

Lord, I call upon you, right now -  I am facing a difficult mountain.  Lord, I am facing a  huge mountain. God it seems like I can not pass this mountain or go around it - I need you - desperately.  I love you and I have been through struggles before but this one could literally kill me or kill another's spirit....God - move this mountain.  Please....  I  need guidance and affirmation. I need to know exactly WHAT to do and WHOM to trust.   I want to be in Your perfect will even though I know you will find glory and honor if I mess up and make the wrong move while I vacillate back and forth because I am anxious.  Take the anxiousness.   Maybe Lord, I just need to be still and let the mountain move without this must 'help'...only YOU know.  Right now, my emotions are too tender and raw -- I need peace.    I need  a direct line to you -- Lord, I  come to you - I  worships you, I love you  and I will believe that no matter what  - YOU have my back.  I only have to answer to you.  I only have to deal with today - not tomorrow...and I know I can't change yesterday, but I can claim Your victory and I will believe that no matter what - with YOU anything is possible.  I will not fail...I will hear, "atta girl"..."well done my good and faithful servant"....when all is said and done - it is just You and me God -- thank you - in Your most perfect name - amen. 

I am a culvert --

I was challenged this weekend.  I enjoyed a very nice time of fellowship with many other Christian women in Okeechobee.  We were treated to a beautiful brunch.  We laughed at a silly skit and we had some kick butt....awesome praise and worship  and then -- we were challenged.

The Holy Spirit is my friend.  He is real.  We were challenged to be the culvert --
But first we heard how HE - Jesus  can redeem and HOW ONLY HE  - God can heal, when we really WANT that healing touch.... we must cry out to Jesus and WANT all of HIM.



 John 14. 26 - But the Counselor, the HOly Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have  said to you. 

 The Holy Spirit is my best friend.

I have learned to rely on Him, I have learned to trust Him, and I have learned that He is the one that convicts....us of sin.

John 16. 8- 10  When he come, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment. In regard to sin, because men do not believe in me, in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer, and in regard to judgement, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.  
vs. 13...But when he, the Spirit of truth comes he will guide you into all truth, He will not speak on his own, he will speak only what he hears , and he will tell you what is YET to come.

He will convict the world of sin - because they don't believe in Him. In order for a person to believe, he must be convicted he is a sinner -- that is the job of the Holy Spirit. So the verse says, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin......

He will convict the world of righteousness -- this is where, because of Jesus, the Holy Spirit convinces me that I am also right standing with God.  The Holy Spirit speaks to me and tells me - 'atta girl'.

And He will convict me of judgment -- because the ruler of this world is judged...Satan -
Satan has no authority .....no authority in me....Satan has nothing on me!   So, Jesus  has taken my place and He will intercede for me in  my judgement....


So, why would I not - seek the Holy Spirit - my Counselor and Helper - ....

I will be the Culvert....the con- do- it... and allow the healing waters of New Life to flow through --
I will be the one to listen to the HOly Spirit and allow HIm to work through me.....
I will be like the 'best Michelle' He has created me to be.....


Thank you Fran McKee and your vision of this KNIT Together Conference.

Thank you Michelle Hart - for being transparent and real and sharing a HOPE-FILLED story of God's grace and mercy.   May your story - again - bring life and hope to many!

Thank you Kathy Harris for the illustration -- and the honest words ....so give us courage and to challenge us.

May God KNIT His daughters here in Okeechobee into a bevy of HIS warriors --for Him

Amen.

NO weapon formed against me --

  THIS is a REPOST from April 13, 2013....BUT God brought me to this post again.  

Some one needs to read it.  I edited it a bit - and updated it.  

April 13, 2013

"I realize and know that when it seems ALL is lost...ALL is wrong  and there seems to be no hope....

that GOD can redeem ANYTHING."

Today I got to listen to John James give his testimony again at our church.  He spoke about how God did a miracle and used  his wife, to remind him that GOD does care and GOD can restore.

I would not even imagine to try and summarize the testimony, but I will share this.  When I first heart his story, I was a 'single' mom who dragged her son with her to church.  It was a time of my life where I would grab onto ANYTHING that would assure me...there was hope.  And John James speaks of hope so perfectly.  Anyway, at the end of that service back in October of 2010....I went forward for a miracle.  I believed that God could restore anything.   You see...by that time, I needed restoration too and a miracle within my family.

Today...some 2 and 1/2 years later.....I heard him give a message of hope again and he asked us to come forward if we needed salvation, or if we needed to make a reconnection to Christ...or if we needed a miracle....and many went forward.  It was a glorious sight.

It seems impossible today.

It seems the entire world is after you, or maybe it is just your husband, or maybe just your present circumstances....but HE wants you to know ----

THAT if you have claimed HIM as LORD of your life and your heart...then....

"NO weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute  ( GOD WILL REFUTE) , every tongue that accuses you.  This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me."  

So, hang in there....

God still does   miracles.

God does restore families.

God does heal past hurts.

God does take away the pain.

God does love you so much.....more than I can ever express -- don't give up. 

LOVE covers a multitude of sins. 

I know, he forgave me.. Amen.  

humility...

It was  an act of humility.------ Jesus had to leave His throne of glory.  He became man, and thus granted us eternal redemption.

Philippians 2. 5-8
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death -- even death on a cross!  

God's burning desire is for souls.
God wins.
We win when we have been obedient and allowed God to use us -- and another is saved.

This is nothing short of a miracle in itself.
Think about it.

Proverbs 11.30
"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise."

I heard something today that really made me think.

I know in my own life -- I chased after God for a VERY LONG time and I judged others and always --  compared their lives to mine.   I was raised that way -- to look at what others were doing and then compare.  From those standards I could tell myself if I was 'better' or 'needed improvement'.  Now mind you -- I am not blaming my parents.  I am not blaming grandparents,  culture, or the fact I  grew up on a dairy farm....I really am not.

  I will not allow the enemy to remind me to BLAME my past.  My past is not to blame.  But...the way I was taught and what I saw on TV and around me - did shape my thoughts and how I behaved.  IN a sense, we are all a product of our environments.

That is just me.   So, as I said, I can go back to the 'old chell' very quickly - I have not forgotten her.

And when I do - I  get a VERY SICK feeling -- of shame-- if I allow myself to go there.  But, I have been forgiven.

I  used to judge others.    I looked at others and felt they were 'freaks'.  I especially looked at people in church and judged them.  I really felt the 'better' church was a big church.  ( Did I say that?)  In smaller churches -- where people did not look like me -- they just did not HAVE it put together like I did...or we did.

I was so wrong.

God used a very sad and yucky situation to change and rebuild me.

I am a former IDIOT.    I am.

But now...when I hear a nonbeliever, or  a very judgmental believer, or just a random person that has no clue  making a comment on something --  I  WANT to jump into their brain and say --- "WHOA...WAIT.... Do you realize that you are judging another by your own standards, have you read the bible lately?  And when was the last time you walked a lost one to the feet of Jesus?"

James 5.20
"he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins".  

I really DO NOT wish any crisis of faith on another person.
I would not want to walk my 'best friend' through the doors that I have walked through but I would if I needed to.

I heard my Pastor say something  once and he was speaking about the fact if he found a brother in Christ in trouble - he would -- "if I got a phone call that you were in the most seedy place and you were shooting up or doing something unmentionable...I would come and get you...love you, pray for you...and walk with you so that you could be restored--cause I love you".

That is WHAT Jesus did.  That is what Jesus would do.  My Pastor taught me something that  very day -- that no matter what ...Jesus already paid the price and love does cover a multitude of sins.  Every person - every sinner deserves a 2nd chance.    I am not to determine "whom"...that is for God to judge.

I was really saddened  by what transpired with Ps. Bob Coy.  I have listened to him faithfully.  But, he is just a man.  Humans will fail us.  No one is immune to the enemy.  It is a constant daily walk with our Lord and we use our armor to fight the enemy.   I prayed that he had a Pastor friend or someone like my Pastor and I pray that he is being restored...with love...his entire family.   I prayed that God had a friend like my Pastor that would speak those very same words over him.

But as I said earlier, I would not want  a crisis of faith to be 'wished' upon another so they get it...or so they MUST seek God...cause MAYBE then they will really allow Jesus to be their Savior, not just the character they believe died for them.

Maybe then....they would be more than a spectator at church.
Maybe then they would see church as a place of healing instead of a place of rules.
Maybe then they would interact and want to be more than just a weekly visitor.
Maybe then...they would not think they are better than the rest of us 'freaks'....
Maybe then...they would understand that  the enemy has lied to them -- and that their 'playing' church is NOT going to save them.....

I believe it is a privilege now to serve my Lord and share with others the JOY and FREEDOM that has finally fallen upon my head and heart.  And, even if it took me 44 years to figure it out...ok.  And even if it took a very painful journey...Ok.  I am grateful for it - I am.  Really.

And, even if I am considered a 'freak'..... I know that I know - I am doing WHAT HE has asked me to do and I am blessed beyond measure.  And even if, I am persecuted because of it -- my rewards are in heaven!  

I could share a personal blessing that God just gave me today -- about something....but - it is for me and HE to share....I know that I know..... that when  HE heard me crying and shedding many tears...HE looked at me and gently whispered..."it will be ok"....and then the Holy Spirit whispered into my ears and said, "it will be Ok"....and then I know, I grabbed onto the notion that Jesus was RIGHT there - interceding and I could count on Jesus praying for me and the PIT I was in...and I knew, that one day -- I would be OK.    I have been OK for quite some time now.  Healing comes in chunks...and it comes slow, but it comes in HIS perfect time.


So, with that -- I just want to encourage another this eve --

If you are in a crisis of faith -- seek out some JESUS FREAKS....find a place -- a  real church family  that may not 'look' all put together at times ---but they are humble....and they LOVE the Lord...and they are REAL.

 Lord:
I am really tired of the ones that play church.  But I asked YOU  this evening to help me forgive them...as I was one of them for such a long time.  And  thank you,  Holy Spirit  for reminding me, that WHILE I was one of those judgmental churchy ones....I had NO clue that I did not get it.  I was just doing my best...and that is probably what those others are doing -- their best.   Who knows, maybe a 'churchy' one is reading this right now and is asking, 'is she speaking about me?'....Only YOU LORD  can answer that -- I won't.   But there is a way to check themselves.....is there fruit?
Lord, I pray they will ask....
When was the last time I  shared WHAT Jesus did for me?
When was the last time I  prayed with another?
So Lord,  for the one that got me thinking this evening...I pray that one will FIND you -- will understand that church is not about rules...well, maybe that is the church they have seen -- that YOUR church is about a RELATIONSHIP with YOU ...and the rest will fall into place.  God I pray - use me- I am humbled.  Lord, I pray this is NOT about me...only about YOU.
Empty me of me.....fill me with MORE of YOU.
Humbled...Amen.