Dad

Hello Dad - and Happy Father's Day  - it was a delight and JOY to plan this 50th celebration and I love the smile on your face in this photo.  You maybe didn't set out to be the father of nine and yet, maybe that was one of your dreams.  I figure you wanted help on the farm, but in reality, I watch you now in the last 10 years and I see the LOVE in your eyes when you are with your children and their different personalities and I am pretty sure you are glad for EACH of us! 

 

This photos - 2010 -   I look pretty tired and I certainly needed that kiss!  I am sure I told this to you - but back in that VERY hard time -- I know that I know - God told you to call me. 

 And you see, THAT was a miracle - cause you NEVER call. 

 I watched Mom over and over do ALL of your calling.  I have observed you now answer your cell phone, but it is usually related to some Farm Progress Adventure or maybe a game of cards.  But anyway, when I look at this picture, that WAS my heart and face that night when you called me. 

 If I remember correctly, I was going back into town to work, late at night , and I was crying and yelling at God that I needed to know I was loved and that HE was working in the middle of my present STORM .  That night- that was my prayer and I was probably screaming it at God.  And guess what ?  The phone rang and I answered it quickly cause I figured something was wrong.  As I said, you NEVER called me -- but it was just you saying that you were thinking of me and I LOST it.  I  bawled and I knew I said thank you - but, THAT memory was indeed God - speaking to me through  YOU.   But I reminded myself that night, I had an earthly Father and a Heavenly Father that were indeed loving on me right then.  

I also thought of a few troubled times that you have walked through. I am sure your perspective is different than mine.  And maybe I am WAY off, but this eve, as I was praying for you thinking of this blog, I was overcome with the memory of the time, when the farm was sold.  I can't imagine what was going on in your head and heart and then the emotions that probably were not dealt with or maybe are still a very sore subject.  I wept and wanted to just say -- 'sorry' -- back than at that time, I was way to self-centered to notice and I am indeed sorry for that.  But, I also wanted to say that you obviously found strength somewhere -- and I am believing that is/was in the Gospels that I am pretty sure you probably read more than maybe you  would admit.  

And, these photos were sent to me tonight -- I see you enjoyed some time on the water with Aaron and Aaron!  And you were successful with catching some fish.  I think that is pretty cool.   As a farmer you produced crops and a managed herds and you were very successful.  As a dad, you were the best dad that you could be.  And as a fisherman, I pray that you catch much ...much joy, much peace, and the redemption grace of Christ.  

The scripture in Ephesians 6 .4 says:  "Fathers, do not exasperate your children: instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord".   

 I so appreciate ALL that you did to make sure we went to school at St. Henry's.  

Hebrews 12. 11 says:  "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."  

I have said this before, our childhood and our time on the farm had many GOOD memories and some, not so good, but I believe in this scripture and I have seen the peace that has come from it.  You did train us as best as you could.  I am thankful for what I learned from you!    

Ephesians 6.1 also says:  "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother -- which is the first commandment with a promise - so that if may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth."  

Dad, Happy Father's Day.  As I was thinking about a card for you and this blogged card, I was walking and thinking about what maybe was going around in your head as a young father.  

I am sure you had dreams and expectations.  I am sure you wanted to do some things like your father did but also I bet there were ideas and things that you wanted to do differently.  

I  listened to you for over 18 years and then I meandered to college and away so my adult  time was  limited with you, but in thelast 10 years,  each time we are together, I cherish the memories!   

These past few weeks, I have been remembering the Sheepshead we played at Daryl's those  nights  and the old lessons of 'trump' and who is a 'good partner'.  But I also just enjoyed the peace and fun with playing a simple game. 

 But I also remember the many nights you'd tease us and play with us in the barn.  

• I remember being scared by you - cause you'd like to spook us -
• I remember quickly hopping in the car and going to the fields where the ripe english peas were ready to be picked before the canning company got them - 
• I remember being on that tractor as you stacked the bales on that wagon and then we'd unload them later - 
• I remember the many days of stone picking and how we'd ride in the loader and you'd scare the crud out of us as you teased - 
• I remember you whistling as you'd feed the grain to the cows - 
• I remember how you'd adjust or write ON the mini - chalkboards above the cows as to when they were in heat or not - 
• I remember getting a lecture about HOW to properly sit on the fender when you were cutting hay or raking - 
• I remember  how you'd stand in the barn and talk to a salesman or maybe Grandpa and continue to milk -
• I remember testing days -- OH what fun with the bottles and the mild samples - 
• I remember how you'd stand in the milk house and watch the cows in the pasture and make notes about who was in heat - 
• I remember many calves being born and how you'd have to tie up that pully thing and pull some out - 
• I remember that glass jar of egg nog on the pipes above the sink in the milk house - 
• I remember getting those new hay wagons that had to be painted - 
• I remember trying to hide in hay forts way up in that shed attached to the barn - 
• I remember that Christmas when the snowmobiles were purchased - 
• I remember picking out furniture in Beaver Dam for the new house - 
• I remember those Dodge County dairy meetings and that cold chocolate milk or orange drink they'd feed us - 

OH - I could go on -- there are many GOOD memories -- many.  

I just wanted to honor you and remind you that you were appreciated and put it in writing!   I am not sure I ever wrote a blog for you - maybe I have already.  

Anyway - Happy Father's Day - love you - much - Chell 

Faith over Fear - Blogged prayer post #35 - The Wilderness

 

This Pandemic has us all in a different mind set and as the summer officially began today, I finished something on my list of TO do stuff, so I guess summer CAN begin!!  

Last week I wrapped up some professional development and finished two classes.  

This week, I learned a new aspect of my summer job( at the insurance office ) and enjoyed a sweet visit with my sister and her kids from Wisconsin and today - I submitted y 2019 taxes.  I indeed, allowed the Pandemic to push the deadline for when I 'did' my taxes.  But they are done.  Amen!  

So now I can enjoy summer.  

Summer -- when one gets rest and works on the TAN!!  

Vacations begin or  are enjoyed. 

Maybe there is time for actually 'going to lunch'... 

In this Pandemic, there has been more time to read.  Brendan shared something with me yesterday that I want to write about and have here,  published,  to come back to.  This series of prayer/blogs are for faith over any fear.  

I have seen MUCH fear with the Pandemic.

 And I admit, I fell prey to it just yesterday. 

We were gifted a very special trip to the Bahamas on a private yacht through the Insurance company and when the email came about getting a Molecular NP something test for Covid-19, I panic'd and said, "NOPE".  I just didn't want to deal.  And, the company reps were very gracious to me and fully understood when I opted out of the trip,  but it was due to that test.  I just did not WANT that Q-tip being shoved into my nose - almost to my eyeballs.  Just. Did. Not. Want. That.  That was a valid fear - in my opinion and something I could OPT out on.   Temporary Fear.  

The Wilderness -- is something different.  

 I have seen fear in many during this Pandemic.  Fear that doesn't leave.  Fear that is controlling.  

I believe this Pandemic is indeed a wilderness.  In Biblical Old Testament, the wilderness was a very real place.  Deuteronomy 8 speaks of how the Lord led the Israelites out of Egypt.   

 

"The Wilderness was a place of death as an entire generation grew weak and perished there.  It was also a place of life 

where an entire generation was born and nurtured.  The new generation became the conquering warrior of Israel.  

God knew exactly what HE was doing when he sent them into the Wilderness.  And today God continues to do the same for His children. " 

If we don't understand why God is allowing this right now - we will become frustrated and bitter towards God.  There are many wildernesses in life.  

"Again, if we don't understand why God is allowing 

us to go through them, we will become frustrated.   This is true if we have been taught that with enough faith we will not go through them.  If we believe this, not only will we go through wildernesses, but we will condemn ourselves for lack of faith.  Or we may blame God for breaking His promises.  Jesus overcame the enemy in the inconvenient circumstances of the desert.  We must also face our wildernesses, overcoming them and revealing the victory of Christ in practical life.  "

                                     -- Spiritual Warfare by Dean Sherman 

So why does God allow this or lead us into a wilderness?  We get humbled -- during times like this we remember who god is and who are not.  It will make us more dependent upon HIM.  It will also put a spotlight onto our lives and others may notice which is hard, because it is uncomfortable. 

 Our world and the ones around us may have taught us to AVOID any humbling, but God knows the greatest thing we can have is consistent   humbling.     Being humbled is good.  It is PRIDE that we should fear. 

 We should remain faithful and trust God to endure and be grateful for the humbling wilderness. 

 

This Pandemic and our walking through it - is somewhat of a wilderness.  Our wilderness maybe not be one of sand dunes and water holes  - but it is equally as REAL.   We are here because of a fallen world. Without exception, we will all go through wildernesses. 

So, as we are in this wilderness of the Pandemic  and the present stirring of hatred within the Body of Christ .... let's stop and think and take a reflective look.  

Another reason we have a wilderness is for testing.  God will allow us to be in certain situations that reveal the content of our character.  (Doesn't that sound familiar -- MLK quoted God himself!)   Under pressure, that which is in us,  comes out.   Testing reveals our weaknesses and strengths to God and to ourselves.  God wants to repair our faults with HIM rather than out in public for all to see.  

 

This Pandemic and our walking through it - is somewhat of a wilderness.  Our wilderness maybe not be one of sand dunes and water holes  - but it is equally as REAL.   We are here because of a fallen world. Without exception, we will all go through wildernesses. 

So, as we are in this wilderness of the Pandemic  and the present stirring of hatred within the Body of Christ .... let's stop and think and take a reflective look.  

So what to do?  

• Truly thank the Lord for showing things in your heart that need fixing.
• Repent.  Ask God to forgive any sin or wrong motives.  You may also need to ask others for forgiveness.  
• Seek God's help to overcome and create new habits and attitudes. 
• Resist the enemy in his attempts in your life. 
• Never deny that you are going through a wilderness experience. 
• Never feel condemned for that which has surfaced during your wilderness experience.
• Simply say, "thank you, God, for showing me what was in my heart. Now let's do something about it."     pg. 148 - Spiritual Warfare 

Lord, I believe this blog is in perfect timing with everything on TV and in the Media about BLM and about ALL lives Matter and about everything associated with the turmoil within our country right now.  Lord, You know my heart and that I believe we have but ONE race, and that is the human race.  Lord, you know I believe we all bleed the same -- and that we have those that LOVE and serve you and those that still don't recognize their sin -- yet.   But Lord, show me where I have wronged or hurt another even with my silence ... or my OVER-SPEAKING.  

Lord, I pray that as we are in the Wilderness of the Pandemic, that MORE grace and MORE love will be experienced by those around me - especially THOSE in fear.  IN the name of Jesus - amen.  

Faith over Feelings - Expectations -Prayer #34

Presently we are on a bit of a vacation. 

 My expectations for school changed -- Virtual teaching and trying to get my students to get on line and do their best, do what I KNOW they can do, and execute the correct actions to turn  in an assignment was wearing at me.  My students were not working to what I expected.  Some where - but others just didn't or couldn't.  

My expectations were not being met. 

My  expectations for the pandemic didn't meet with my satisfaction as well. 

 I really did not think we'd have to shut down - so, I left school at Spring Break with no resources in my school bag.  My expectation was that I would be back in my classroom on March 23rd.   

My expectation was not met.  

When we landed, it has become tradition to stop at Rocky Ricocos's for pizza.  So much of my home state has shut down so we couldn't stop, but eventually, I was able to get to my College town - Whitewater and we had that traditional slice of Sausage pizza.  

With Rocky's Ricoco's, pizza- there is an expectation.  The sauce is like no other.  The cheese melted, the box, and a diet coke to wash it down not only brings a sweet memory of college, but it also tastes GOOD. !!!! Thank goodness, that when I took that first bite, I got exactly WHAT I expected.   

With family, with friends, even with our own children - we have expecatations. 

We expect respect from our children.  We expect our friends to affirm us  and be the best friends to us, and we especially expect our spouses  to meet our needs.  

We expect.  

But -- we are ALL human and we fail -  

For FAR too long - I placed expectations on my husband - a man, and he failed me.  
Our children will fail us. 
We will fail ourselves.  

Expectations.  

Then again, if we DO NOT have any expectations -- then we won't be disappointed.  

I do live with expectations -- it is just I live now with my expectations through the filter of Jesus -- I wrote this before in a blog.  

I am sharing it again.  

It would appear that I have been here before - disappointed by some unmet expectations.  

*********


 All we  really can ONLY count on or  look to is  our Heavenly Father...for HE lives up to our expectations. 

I am reminding myself today:  

I can expect Jesus to always intercede for me on my behalf.
I can expect God to always love me unconditionally.
I can expect the Lord to hear my prayers.

He touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith will it be done to you." Matt 9.29  

I can expect the Lord to move mountains.
I can expect miracles from the Lord.
I can expect HIS will to be done within my life.
I can expect that I will find ALL answers to whatever I need to know with the pages of HIS Word. 

I can expect that God will do what GOD wants to do.

I am God, and there is no other: I am God and there is none like me.  Isaiah 46.9


I can expect that I am whom God says I am ...through Him.
I can expect much from my best friend...the Lord and  Holy Spirit.
I can expect  Holy Spirit to constantly speak to me, comfort me, and teach me.
I can expect an eternal home...

 -- be eternally minded -- this place is temporary --- 

When a colleague fails us -
 -when a professional we trusted in  fails us,
 -when we see something posted by a person we are mentoring and it hurts us,
 -when an adult child makes choices that have some very hard consequences,
 - and when a spouse leaves the marriage and you are blindsided,  so rejected,  you  expect some sort of explanation,  but you  are NOT getting it --

----- I think we must GO back to  placing all expectations before HIM.  

However, I think it is OK to grieve for a brief moment, maybe even  kick at a box kicking dummy as we have worked so hard and prayed so hard with this one......and yet, he or she  failed us.


Place any and all expectation -- in the LIGHT of HIS presence...  Measure it all against heaven and eternity.     Place every expectation within HIS hands.   

And with that, I can forgive the temporary stupidity....
I can forgive the way another treated another...or the way I was treated --
---and I can get back to speaking life and praying over that one  or situation and believe that God is at work and I will wait on HIM.  

Peace comes. 

 The "situation"   may not of turned out as I had hoped, as  the person may of failed the expectations I believe I was to see....but God will  make something beautiful out of it. 

And I trust my LORD to WOW me...to work it out and that... I will look back at this time and situation and know that I know -- and see ...HOW HE moved.  !!!!!!




There is one reading this  - today  with  disappointed expectations--
There is one that I prayed with this week, and this one is trying to find answers to unmet expectations   and even --   expectations that have been shattered--

 HOLD ON....  God will answer. GOD will heal those expectations.  God can be expected to work through this and HOLD you while you are trying to release those expectations. 


HE is close to the brokenhearted and HE will and can heal -- seek HIM.
EXPECT HIM to answer -- EXPECT HIM to help...

Amen.

Faith over Feelings - What if Jesus walked into the room? Blogged prayer #33

What would you do if HE walked into the room?  

THIS song is a part of the new Elevation Worship album that dropped in the past week.  Today, this song has been played over and over.  

This is my prayer -- today -- goodness LORD -- HE is here.   

Praise HIM 

"What Would You Do"
(feat. Isaiah Templeton)

What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you say?
If He walked into the room
How would you praise?
If He walked into the room
How would you shout?
If He walked into the room
How would you shout?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
Yes, what would you do?
If He walked into the room
Yes, what would you say?
If He walked into the room
How would you praise?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into this room
Yes, how would you shout?
If He walked into this room
What would you do?
What would you do?
How would you shout?
If He walked into this room
What would you do?
If He walked into this room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do? (Somebody do it now)
If He walked into the room (Somebody do it now)
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room
What would you do?
If He walked into the room

He's here right now
He's here right now
He's here right now
He's here right now
How will you sing to Him?
He's here right now
How will you shout to Him?
How will you worship Him?
He's here right now
How will you bow before Him?
He's right here now
Jehovah
A very present help
In the time of trouble
He's here right now
He's here right now
The King is in the room
Your Healer's in the room
Your Savior is in the room
Your Provider is in the room
Your Redeemer is in the room
Your Champion is in the room
He's here in this room
So what will you do?
Amen

Jesus Christ
The King above all kings
Jesus Christ
The King above all kings

Faith over Feelings - WE can CRAWL into HIS arms. Blog Prayer #32

So, we are in the middle of a Pandemic. 
Easter came and went. 
People all over the world and in my house are praying Psalm 91 all over.  

And yet... today -- 

THIS happened.  

I was on a ZOOM meeting ( to which I was late for ) with ADMIN and peers and she came to sit on my lap.

 She smiled at the meeting participants, I muted it so that she would not disturb and then  she got off my lap and disappeared. 

She returned to me, with the blanket and pillow.  And within 3 minutes, was OUT.  
I fixed the blanket - how she fell asleep on the hard floor?????- she is 2.  !!!

She knew what she needed and how to achieve some rest.  SEEK MiMi with a blanket and pillow and RIGHT there.  Sleep.  

As I prayed over her, I was reminded about GOING to HIM - pure and simple for rest.  

Matthew 11:28-30 
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gently and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. "

Psalm 127: 2
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling  for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Mark 6:32
So they went away by themselves in a boast to a solitary place.  

Psalm 4:8
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.  


Lord, simply - may we REST in you, not only when we are weary -- but when we are worried...when we are wanting answers...when we are wanting MORE...when we are troubled...and when we don't understand.  

MAY we rest in YOU when we are in a good time -- and when things seem good, may we also HONOR your day of REST -- seek you, allow our bodies to refresh THROUGH YOUR Word and YOUR hand.  

Goodness LORD - may we KNOW that we are THAT LOVED.. that we can GO or COME to YOU and crawl up, even on a HARD floor in YOUR presence.  LORD, may our faith in knowing that YOU will give us the peace we are craving even when our feelings are TOO much or causing TOO much - may we have faith over them.   IJN  

May this bless you - and may YOU find REST in HIM.  

Faith over Feelings Prayer #31 -- HE does not forget your name.

 I wrote this blog back in September of 2016.  THIS eve, as I was thinking and praying, I had an idea that I wanted to share.   There is one this eve, I want her to FEEL HOPE -- but the HOPE in Christ.  
There is one this evening where truth was spoken with grace, but was it received in grace and love?   I believe it was received; however, the enemy is such a liar and he torments us with thoughts of  being wrong and less than.... 

In this situation - I had to trust God.   AT times, in obedience, we must speak life and truth, even when it hurts.  I have to remind myself, I would rather hear truth and be upset which will lead to forgiveness and reconciliation rather than allow a lie or share a lie that makes one feel better at the time.  So, as I sat and prayed,  my faithful Holy Spirit, brought me to this post.  

The TITLE caught my eye.  "Just forget my name".  

 I read it through, several  times and realized some of the burden that caused me to write this back in 2016 was indeed something I did remember.   However,  I  marveled at WHAT has transpired since I wrote this blog -- the victory.  AS the weapon that was formed - did not prosper.  

For  example,  I shared about a little girl who, I would hope, would  call me Mimi one day.  She is now 4 and loves me well.  She calls me Mimi.  THAT is a very important name to me. 

Another friend, did leave a voice mail on my phone, "just forget my name"...back in 2016 and  it broke my heart, but I had to allow God to fight the battle.  There is now perfect harmony in this friendship as God did heal. 

The other requests --I honestly can't remember all the burdens and whom they are connected to, but God does.   
I wouldn't be able to carry ALL those burdens - I am not the Savior.  He tells me in His word to cast them upon HIM.     But, as I read this blog, I believe that one reading this now - will relate and the circumstance may now, indeed, be their circumstance.  

Tonight, I was reminded that ALL of my affliction is 'light' in comparison to eternally.   John Piper says, " every second of my misery, in the path of obedience, is producing a peculiar glory, in the light of eternity."  I want that - peculiar -- glory!  

Our pain ... our affliction is never meaningless.  
Let's not look to what we SEE but what God SEE's.  

Nothing is meaningless.  

Therefore do not lose hope. 

 GOD has NOT forgotten YOUR name.  Your name is written in the palm of HIS hand.  

Ok, I will let you read the post for September 2016.

********************************************************************

This post is being typed with a heavy  but hopeful heart. 

Colossians 3.17 says  " And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

So Jesus, as I type, I am thankful and grateful for  MANY people - Your people - that I get to love on and live with, but my heart if feeling heavy today.  It has felt heavy for a few weeks.

Life was  meant to be easy -- but Satan deceived Eve into thinking that God was withholding something.  And she ate of that apple.   I remind myself all the time,  THIS was not God's plan.

Pastor Robert Morris's definition of GRACE is :  the unmerited, undeserved kindness of God. 

I have seen that so many times.  Most recently 2 weeks ago when I got to LOVE on a little girl.  Some day I hope she calls me "MeMe".  Taylor and I discussed whether it should be "MiMi" or how I spelled it,  as my given name is Michelle;   but oh, I am thinking now, "MeMe chell would sound pretty good too!!   Taylor and her husband are walking within God's grace in a new season of their lives and we are praying that a transition of 50/50 custody will occur and our kids will be more 'full - time' parents instead of once a week.    I truly did not believe this would transpire until  the child was older..... circumstances seemed unreal and yet very hard and by HIS grace and through MUCH prayer -- we have some undeserved Kindness!   And I am claiming more.

I asked for that.   I asked for some undeserved kindness.

  I have been, I confess, trying to 'quit' on some assignments for the past 3 months.  I keep telling God HE can find another.  I bargain with Him.   I will tell Him, "Ok, I will do that but you must do this." My dear friend says it all the time, "don't do business transactions with God".  I hear her loud and clear and at the end of the day, the Lord knows I submit and that my bargaining or banter back and forth with Him is just our way of  talking to HIM.  He knows my heart.  He knows I want to hear, "well done my faithful servant".  I seek HIS approval.  Moment my moment.

In Ephesians 4, Paul says, "as a prisoner for the Lord, then.  I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 

Be completely humble and gentle: be patient, bearing with one another in love."

I have  spoken  with -- several in fact, that are dealing with the pain of a child making poor choices, a husband, choosing to walk away from God, and another who just wants to quit -- all of which hurts my heart,  causes it to question God for a nano second cause I want answers for THEM right now and I want to see the goodness of God  in those that are hurting - faster than it is coming.  But God.

God is RIGHT there with them, providing and extending that grace to them as well.

Jeremiah 1.5 says:   "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart: I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."   -- God knew all of this.



So, God knew -- when a dear friend would say, "forget my name"....it will be only temporary --
So, God knew -- when a man took a blood test it would prove there was drugs and alcohol within it --
So, God knew -- that one of my dear loved ones would have a bad week with her medication --
So, God knew -- that another would end her 'weaker' chemo and begin the 'hard' stuff next --
So, God knew -- another would find some HOPE after being without her husband for over a year as he divorced her --
So, God knew that another's prayer to move his ALS  so he could get to heaven faster -- would be a hard one on his family ---
So, God knew -- another would want to quit so badly, but a bevy of prayer walking warriors would stand behind her and remind her NOT to quit --
So, God knew -- that  another's pain would be healed last Sunday and she would testify to it at church on Wednesday --
So, God knew -- that my heart would be heavy for so many reasons in this time, but HE gave me some instant hope that held me --
So, God knew -- that another would go to her knees for her child who is making bad bad bad choices - so bad that going to jail would be a good thing --
So, God knew -- the one that wanted so desperately to 'come clean'  would try her best to seek forgiveness and then get scared away,  because a 'Christian' gave her false hope--
So God knew -- a man would want his wife and children but his pride would keep him away --
So, God knew -- that total peace would be felt in an awkward situation , but our flesh would still want to fuss --

God knows.

And as I went through my list of ....so God -- YOU knew this and yet...   !!?? 

I could not bargain with Him -- cause I knew that in each of these situations -- God would bring beauty out of the ashes -- in HIS time.


God will bring that friendship back around and there will be a 360 - In Jesus name!
God will provide the best treatment center for the one  -- and God will do everything in His power to persuade the father to seek treatment  - In Jesus name.!
God will bring that loved one into the next phase of Chemo as her body is weak but her faith is strong - In Jesus name!
God will bring perfect  healing and a better doctor for that other loved one who is battling this 'syndrome' that needs more clarity, In Jesus name!
God will hold that family as their dad and husband fights against the ALS and gets closer to his home in heaven, In Jesus name.
God will ...  I could go on -- I have -- God will give more hope, as I continue to seek Him and serve Him.


If you  have felt the pain of rejection this week -- if someone has told you to forget them or you feel forgotten by God because a prayer has not been answered --- as you see it...then get on those knees and just cry out to HIM.


Say the Lord's prayer.

Read Psalm 25 and then go to John 15.10... where it states - if you obey my commands  - you will remain in MY Love ....   Stay IN HIS love -- He will provide and HE will NEVER forget your name.

Amen.

So the reality is, the marriage is broken, BUT God - the Vow RENEWAL - Part VIII

I am not a psychologist or a life coach.  I am just a woman, who loves God, seeks the power of the Holy Spirit, and knows Jesus as her best friend.  I have lived a little bit.  Life's experiences have certainly  been played out and I am pretty sure God is not finished with me yet, but I am going to attempt to share a couple of blogs that I pray God will use to help foster some hope and to encourage a wife who is hurting and broken that God is fighting for her and God will win!   

This was anniversary #25! 

THE above,  is the text or backstory   at the beginning of a series of blogs I wrote back in 2017. 
 I wrote 7 blogs.  God's perfect number is 7. 
 But then... Today, HE 'released' me to share Part 8.   This series was written to be shared with a wife or mother needing some answers quick when faced with a crisis and an earthquake hits.  

Renewal.   Vow Renewal.   Eight is the number of renewal.  

It has been over 3 years since I wrote Parts 1-7. 
 It has been almost 11 years when the  earthquake shattered what I knew existed as  my perfect life and family, but God won.  

My blogging has been a bit -- skimpy-- and limited in the past 2 years.  I believe in the past month or two, the Lord has been awakening the pen again and maybe HE has kept me quiet for such a long time, because of today.     Maybe He needed to give me a rest.  Maybe some readers needed to see a rest in me.  Maybe there was a long rest so that the right person would  read this.  

 I am unsure of the WHY I write these blogs at times.  For the longest time, it was my therapy.  I needed an outlet.  Then, as Holy Spirit  spoke and wrote, God indeed showed me that HE uses these words of His and my experiences to give another hope and direction.

  At a time when I NEEDED answers, God led me to a few blogs and HE spoke to me and counseled me through some rough times. And,  this eve -- I do believe He has me writing-- to give HIM glory, as another needs to realize that God wins.  

God knows. 

  Part 7 is good.  It is posted here , link below.  But this eve -- Part 8 has to be shared.  


Part VII


So, if you read Part 7 and it is fresh in your memory, I shared what redemption looked like in our home and what it felt like through my words.  

I wrote this series to help guide a wife /mother through the journey I walked,  as God revealed and then grew us both,  and healed us.  I truly believe that often, we don't FIGHT for our marriages. 

 Since our crisis of faith, we have had the God given pleasure to pray with couples and encourage them. We have also sat across from some,  with tears in our eyes, as we could see WHAT God could do....but the ones on the other side of the table -- didn't want to work at what we thought GOD wanted.   But -- as we prayed, we trusted  GOD.  

We know countless people prayed for us over  that hard time and for  our marriage, but  what  finally hit or what was the spark that made us both come back to see ----that Jesus was not Lord of our lives????   That can be read through the lines of those blogs in Parts 1-6!    That was the God allowed earthquake.  

Today -- again, Redemption.  Vow renewal.  

I have mentioned this in the blog before, but on the night, when  all  hell broke loose - I had a dream. A vision.  Over the years - I have 'adjusted'  the WHOM,  that I believe were in this dream.  For many years, I knew it was so and so and so and so --  and then, seasons changed and I would admit - "well, Lord, you are correct, I never saw their faces, I just saw people".  And so, over the  past, almost 11 years, I have indeed fixed my eyes on that vision and believed it was  this person or that. 

 Bottom line, the Lord revealed or reminded me over the past two weeks,  in that vision,  was my husband and I  and we were renewing our vows.  Our children were there.  And there were 3-4 others.  I can see them.  Some times, I can clearly see one couple leading us in our vows, another time, I can clearly see we are in a circle, all happy, but my children ARE there -- today, I felt the Holy Spirit remind me -- the point of the vision was that HE gave me something to HOLD onto....to hold on and believe in when it seemed NO hope for my family to stick together and for our marriage to remain.
  But God.  

I have been praying the past month for a special interview that transpired today.  And in praying that I would give ALL Glory to God -- and empty myself of me...  God showed me MUCH more.  

Last November, I was gifted with something.  Taylor ( my daughter ) was contacted by  a special couple  who wanted to gift me with   "The Blessing"-- portrait.   This  "Blessing" was something we were doing in a limited way already.  I am a wordy person -- a words of affirmation person, so my husband and I have always tried our best to affirm our kids and use positive words -- no yelling in our home. We spent much time, making sure our kids knew their good characteristics.  Even when we wanted to smack them.  

  Anyway - going  back  a few years  -  to me seeing a blog on the Footstone Photography site and my heart lept. Immediately  I knew, what Kristin blogged about - was for US.  

  I read Kristin's blogs and  I knew that I knew - this was a GOOD  God thing. I believed and could see WHAT God was going to do.  This would be profound.    I began to share with Taylor about 'doing' this in a  similar fashion for our- now-- grand kids.   So we began, to speak a blessing over the grands.  Our first one,  was for Ava when she was 2, and then 3, and recently at her 4th birthday.  What I saw transpire through her as we did these Blessings -- HOW  remarkable.   We incorporated it into a few birthdays for some of  the adults in our family  as well and again - HOW remarkable.   That indeed is another blog - but WOW.  

So, when Taylor stated that Kristin and Paul felt the Holy Spirit connected us,  and they wanted to come and gift me with  a "Blessing  portrait " -- little did I know what God had planned.   What God had orchestrated from the beginning.  Whoa.  

Paul's video about The Blessing

Talk about being undone. 
  In part of my gift, Paul created a video for me.  A few of the snapshots are here in this blog.  The video  Paul created for me - is  a treasure and  I get to remind myself of HOW Good our God is - daily. 

They are making me an album, which I will treasure.  If you go to their web  site and look around and see  what   this Blessing  is -- and what it has done for others.  Whoa! You will be curious and I know God will speak to you as well, especially if you have grandchildren.  

   I encourage you to watch the video link I added in this blog of Paul speaking about "The Blessing".   ( link above)  What a legacy his parents created when they began this "Blessing" in their homes when their children were young.   What a legacy to see this good tradition continue.  Oh the sweetness his parents must see - through this -- legacy.  

  Back to that SHIFT I mentioned.  
Something happened back in November when they came to do the photographs --  there was a shift.  

God did more holy surgery in my head, heart, and there was more healing.  

 Prior to the photo shoot, Kristin had interviewed Brendan, Taylor, Hunter and my Son in law - Jake.  As she had me sit in a chair -- She read the words from their interviews.  Words of affirmation over me.  And her husband, snapped away and captured the photos - all the ugly tears and all. 

  My kids were first.  Last was BP  - or Brendan.  I have  always teased  that we were to have our VOW renewal ...at our 30th .. and then it got pushed to our 35th anniversary.  It was something that we agreed upon when counsel was done....but it seemed to be pushed off.

I wanted it.   
But I prayed and  I felt - like Mary, and "pondered" it in my heart.  I knew the vision and knew that if I waited on God -- it would be in HIS timing.  

As Brendan was the last one to hold my hand and look into my eyes, Kristin read the words -- indeed -- they were like vows. I will treasure the photos that Paul caught.  He also caught me cracking up - as if you know my husband, he can't be serious for more than a few moments.  But ...this time...he was serious enough.   

 I was undone and as I said- something shifted. 

 From that point on -- I knew - THAT was my vow renewal.  It was in front of 2 witnesses - our photographers - Kristin and Paul....  This Blessing....but it was mostly in front of my children.  Really the ONLY people I felt needed to hear those affirmations.  God won.  

 Whoa -- wow. 

My identity comes from Christ - through Christ, but through this experience, my God used my husband to rebuild  my heart.  

I want that for my granddaughters. 
I want that for my daughter, my nieces, my son ... 
 I want that for my dear warrior pals praying for their marriage and their miracle. 
 I want that for those still fighting through - believing that God will CHANGE their man. 
I want that for a wife who has been dealing with a jerk of a husband for years and I want her to see her value that she is praying him to Christ.  

 I want that -- for others. 

 Indeed, the words spoken that were connected to God's Word, were the most powerful, but think...think of the power in those words, spoken over me..us...you.  

God's Word is the most powerful word spoken over us - and this idea of giving a blessing comes from Scripture.  

Don't you believe that God wants to speak those words over you ??  OH YES, HE does.  

If you google search,  speaking a biblical blessing over another,  you will find a plethora of stuff to read and share and speak over your child...your spouse... over a loved one.  

I share this eve and write Part 8 because , I know that I know - GOD wants this for YOU. 

 If you are reading this out of curiosity -- I would encourage you to check out their web site.  If you are reading cause you love us and have seen us and our testimony - I would add that God is always faithful and continually healing.  Even 11 years later, God continually writes our story. 

If you are in a hard marriage and are praying for that vow renewal -- don't give up or give in.  Continue to wait on God - seek God and LET HIM lead ...as indeed, HE wants this Blessing over you.  

Footstone Photography

Recently - a new song has hit the charts - "The Blessing " by Cody Carnes, Chris Brown, Steven Furtick, and Kari Jobe.  WHAT a testimony and what a song. 

It is my prayer that God connects Paul and Kirsten with Kari and Cody Carnes!  

 I can so picture Kristin and Paul being interviewed by Good Morning America or the Today show and having the world SEE how God can create something and bring families together and how this can be a tool for healing and promoting good and healthy, godly thoughts and attitudes.  And, I can see Jesus shine through each phase of it. 

 That is a  new vision, that I am praying into reality.  

So - anyway - as I share this blog, I just want to encourage you that took the time to read this to the end... God will answer.   And you probably prayed for us - so thanks!  

I am but a no body. 
 If He can heal me - redeem us... and our sin was like a filthily rag - it still is......
 We are sinners saved by grace.  

If HE will do it for us - He will do it for you.   May HIS favor be upon you and your children -- amen. 

God bless.  

The Blessing.