Faith over Feelings - Blog Prayer #38 -- Today.

 This one will be LONG.  Just letting you know.  You will need some coffee of caffeine of some sort.  This is #38. 

 I started this Faith over Feelings series back in June of LAST year.   Little did I think it would take me a YEAR to truly get through this series.  Writing about FAITH over FEAR.   But, God has me here.   It has been a YEAR of FAITH over FEAR.  

I blog.  I  have blogged much, most of my blogs came about because of therapy.   I found myself alone - a lot.  I had "NO one" to talk with.  So I blogged.   Now my life is so different.  And I still hear from God and want to blog and talk ...but HE has me in a different season. 

I miss that.  Blogging.  But, I know that we ebb and flow in seasons.  And, God created me to be a writer and HE will use my voice when HE wants.   However, I am, or my flesh is determined to FINISH this 40 days or blogged prayers -- sooner than later.  I  just am.  

I feel or believe another reason why it has been a SLOW season of writing is that when God moves -- HE can move FAST, but often in my life, it is a SLOW process.  I am learning to be slower and taking the time to listen rather than get that quick answer.  

Today, Holy Spirit awoke me - writing a letter to another in my head.  There I was writing again.  But that letter will wait, for HIS timing, today -- this photo was like a flashing LIGHT in my head and my heart.  Whose  children are those?

 THOSE are two kids.  Two young adults that had NO clue.  NO clue of what they would walk through...no clue of what they'd be ask to do...no clue of HOW God truly loved them.   No clue of God's power and authority.  

I marvel -- 33 years. 

 My heart breaks as a few very dear ones  around me are mourning and grieving their marriages.   Some will read this and wonder, will my marriage survive this?  Others will read this and relate -- as they are in a season now where they are asking themselves as well..."How did we do this?".  

As far as those close around me who are in a hard marriage or in the process of a divorce,  I have prayed for miracles and I have asked God to give me insight...as if "I" could help -- but, God knows best. 

 Why we survived a major earthquake - is by the GRACE and WILL of God.  I know, it was a miracle.  I KNEW HE placed a love and thought in my head that I HELD onto.  I would not give up.  But, I also believe it took faith over fear.  

Today, I am playing on REPEAT --a  Kutlass's song -- " THAT is what FAITH can do".  I have played and sang that song SO much that I can literally get MUCH work accomplished and sing at the same time.  About every hour, I break down in tears and recall a few times this song was literally my lifeline and then I go back to punching some numbers on a computer screen -- ( my weekend job ). 

 God moves through HIS Word and HIS music -- worship music.    

THOSE two kids in that photo - had NO clue of HOW much God would allow nor, what GOD would do -- "even when we fall.... we will have the strength to rise".

Today, I wanted to blog and remind the one reading this - that GOD sees you.  He is the God that sees.  El Roi -- the God who sees.  HE knows.  HE has seen your heartache and the new news of pain.  He knows what you must do today - what you must confess and He knows HOW it will go down.  And HE is faithful.  THERE is no fear that when we walk in obedience to HIM -- even when it looks like it has all failed -- HE will still win.  

"Impossible is not a word.  It is just a reason for someone not to try."

• I want to remind you TODAY,   God takes the initiative by causing us to WANT to pray or for us to NEED to pray. 
• I want to remind you TODAY,  the Holy Spirit takes the WORD of GOD and reveals it to you and God's will. 
• I want to remind you TODAY, that as we pray in the Spirit - we pray in agreement with God's will.  
• I want to remind you TODAY,   we must then ADJUST our lives to that truth. 
• I want to remind you TODAY,   we look for and listen for confirmation for our decisions and directions from the Bible, our circumstances, and the body of Christ - other believers.  
• I want to remind you TODAY ...THEN  YOU obey. 
• I want to remind you TODAY,  God will work through you today to accomplish HIS purposes.  
• And finally - I want to remind you TODAY that YOU will experience God as you pray and communicate with Him. 
• Remember, God does not NEED you to pray -- that is our way to have communication with Him. 

Phil 2:13 

"It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

John 16.13

"He will not speak on his own: he will speak only what he hears, and he will tel you what is yet to come." 

John 10.4

"When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice." 

Today I am most thankful for the prayer warriors that spoke into me, for the body of believers that prayed for us.  I am thankful for family that accepted and loved from afar, but mostly for God's timing and I know that I obeyed.  I can't put my finger on the exact formula -- as I have watched many obey and fight for their marriage and it did not end the same way.  God knows those hearts and those circumstances and I don't credit ANYTHING that I did - it was ALL GOD. 

God did answer my prayers and HE gets the glory and THAT has increased my faith.  My faith to pray for another and encourage another to HOLD on and GIVE God the time .....the time needed to change your ( my heart) and then the other.  

Faith over fear.  

I was reminded today of a Word of Knowledge that was given to a prayer warrior on my or our behalf.  God orchestrated it.  This man - his name is Morris, saw me and saw or knew what had transpired in my marriage.  I was at his church on a Sunday night.   He also was given a picture or vision.  He inquired to the people I was attending church with and shared what God had showed him  about me.  

 He is a sailor - a ship captain.  He saw a  braided chord.  A BIG rope on a boat that had been severed.  With frayed edges and it was no longer ONE chord.  So, he asked God, "what  does this mean and what is she to do?."   God replied to him "well, you know how to repair it or she can get a new rope".  

He  shared this with me, several weeks later.  After I had decided to wait out my marriage and believe for a miracle.  I had decided not to get a new rope.  So  Morris shared with me, " Michelle,  now you know that it will take a lot of work, you have to recut each end and it will take time but if you repair it correctly and mend this chord -- it will NEVER break there again".  

In preparing for writing this, I googled a few things and watched a video of "HOW" to repair a broken rope/chord.  There is cutting and burning... interesting.  Both Bren and I were cut, we have had to cut away some of the old and broken pieces and frayed edges.  And there is burning... fire.  Interesting in that too - I think of the fire of God - right away.  Beauty from ashes.  WHAT comes after a burning of woods or a place -- new growth.  ???  !!!   Anyhow, today that end part of the Word of Knowledge -- "it will NEVER break there again- if it was mended correctly."  

BAM - Truth.  WOW.  

THOSE kids in that photo had NO clue -- BUT God still won.  GOD knew.  

With that -- may this just bless you and remind you that  -- nothing is impossible with God.  

Lord, thank you for this inspired word and insight.  Lord, you know I must give credit for some of this to my present BIBLE study - Experiencing God - unit 5 -- has WRECKED me in a good way.  Lord, for the one or many reading this today that took the time, I pray it would inspire them to believe and get closer to YOU.  Lord for the marriages that are hurting right now  - especially those close to me.  Lord, for the marriage that is dissolving right now, Lord - lead and guide.  Lord, for our Nation and all of this trouble - the birth pains of the end.  As a mother in labor says.. and feels..."it is getting closer"... I believe YOUR return is getting closer.  May we be the witness of your LOVE and MERCY to those fearful around us... especially me Lord, may I be an instrument of YOUR peace - thank you for the 33 years of marriage and for my man.  I DO love him and trust him more than I could of ever  of imagined when we walked into that church back in 1987 -- with that BIG hair and Jessica McClintock dress and that BLACK tux... OH he is still as cute!   Lord, bless us and may our story give another the hope to fight it out -- as on the other side of that mended chord -- it is good.  REAL good.  IJN  Amen.  

Faith over Feelings -- Blooged Prayer - Just listening to God #37

 The CONTENT below isn't available RIGHT now:

I see that often now. Even this past week, I was censored by FB.

 As Pastor Cary reminded us this past week, it does seem I,  scroll past the 'yuck' others post but the moment  I,  post something that disagrees with another's  opinion - they attack.

 GRACE --  It seems I  give much grace but it is not given to me.

This AM...early, I posted something that I felt needed to be shared and immediately a family member attacked - in a "nice way".

After a few moments, I could hear the HS say - "delete"

So, I deleted my post, deleted my rebuttal and justification  and sent  a separate message and asked  for forgiveness. AND then I deleted a link I had shared to 'justify'.

Obedience brings rewards.  

Earlier - 2 weeks ago, I woke and immediately heard HS speak -- "come under authority". There were several situations that presented themselves  over the past two weeks and those words or impression to my spirit rang true.

In the situations where "coming under authority" was a fight -- I had to ......

I had to remind myself of Ex. 14.14.

I have had to remind myself that HE is the one that draws us in.

HE will guide us. HE will guide you.

I sought God today as I felt HE has been silent  when it came to a particular ministry group that I belong to.  

So I asked God, am I coming under authority in this ministry that YOU birthed?

Today in my bible study, HE reminded me that HE is the one who has the purpose and HE invites us in.

God is wanting to DO something through us - to others. 

He calls us to be Titus 2 Women.

HE still wants us to speak life to the ones around us.

HE still speaks.

HE will direct and lead.

THAT gave me great peace.

I was reminded that an Encounter with the HS is an Encounter with God.

Maybe YOU have not heard from God lately. 

 Maybe you are reading this now and questioning...??  Lord, am I posting stuff that aligns up with Your Word?  

Am I posting on Social Media for the purpose of being heard??  What do YOU wish me to post?  

These are all questions going ON in my head and thoughts over the past week or so.   I haven't blogged in a long time.  God has me doing other things, but I find joy which I can come back and just blog a prayer that may bless another.  

"Come under authority"... I wonder if that is something God has impressed upon you?  

With that -- I wrote this prayer - as I believe many of us are called to extend MUCH grace, and be that Titus 2 example to the people around us.  May you hear God speak LIFE into you and may you speak life into another!  

Father - may they SEE you as you are the God who SEES us. SPEAK to each of us -- We are reminded that YOU are the GOD Almighty. Lord, you are HOLY, YOU are unchanging and forgiving, and YOU are our Living BREAD -- may each of us KNOW and FELL that this week and may we share that within our circle of influence.

Father as we encounter Holy Spirit, we are encountering You - remind us that YOU are WHO YOU said YOU are -- the GREAT I AM.  Lord, for the ONE reading this -- may she or he know that they are coming under Your authority and being obedient.  

Lord, speak -- lead and direct but also, for the one  that is reading this right now, I pray she walks with you in her daily steps, I pray she will have opportunity to be that Beloved Titus 2 woman that YOU have called her to be -- to another - I pray she will reach out if there is a spiritual crisis at the moment and seek a mentor or sister in Christ to pray with.  May we listen well and then be obedient to what you ask us to do.  In the name of Jesus, AMEN 

Faith or Feelings - ACTION - prayer for parents - Blogged Prayer #36

      Herod the king was distraught.  A child had been born: his birth was heralded by the very angels!  

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with theangel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,

    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Some at that time said the baby was the Christ child, the long-awaited Messiah.  

I read this in my present book study and began to think. 

 What about Mary and Joseph .... talking and hearing the rumors and then knowing that Herod had made a degree and was killing every male child under the age of two in his attempt to do away with the Christ child?  

I thought about, now - today .... and much of what is going on in our world.  As a parent, of a young child -- what could be going on within your head and heart as  you have concern for your little as she or he grows up NOW in this world? 

I know this -- your child, my grandchildren, all children  -- were created FOR SUCH a time as THIS.  I also know God is good and  is a good good Father, so we can trust HIM to protect us and keep us under the shadow of HIS wings.   We can trust HIM with our children.  

But, as I  thought -- how interesting it was that Jesus too, came INTO this world at a very hard time.   Just another way that Jesus can relate to US! 

"Scripture does not share what this young couple went through as they held their beloved child in their arms, keenly aware that others mourned with empty arms and shattered hearts because of their son.  It was a humble and tragic beginning to the earthly life and ministry of Jesus."   -Suzanne Eller from Mended Hearts

THAT  really comforted me -- that both Mary and Joseph also felt the fear and concern for their son - Jesus.  They had to of.  It only makes sense.   But then, as you read scripture ... they MOVED.  They did something, they retreated to Egypt and raised Jesus away from Herold. 

 ACTION -- faith into action.  

I see that often in many young parents of today -- they are MOVING and doing.  Some seek research and have gone more organic and holistic with their medicines and procedures.  Some are pushing and protecting their littles from the dangers of the 'metal' within our current vaccinations.  Some are doing their OWN schooling - to keep God and their innocence RIGHT in front of them.    I think it is all good.  

Watching this morning,  as my little here today ( it happens to only be SJ today ) is fascinated with the Play-doh that I have set out - she is only concerned with trying to manipulate the dough and get it into the 'fun maker'.  

She is innocent.  I look at her beautiful eyes and think about HOW she will grow and WHAT will she do.  And yet, I put that aside and just ENJOY her right now and pay attention that there is nothing within her reach that will harm her.  We manipulate the play-doh into shapes and she quickly delights in the fact that she recognizes an OVAL and a TRIANGLE and screams, "I angle"  and "OOOvil" .  

I would move.  I would take action.  If there was an immediate threat to her safety - I would move and not think twice.   

I have that in common with Jesus's earthly parents.  Yet, I believe I also have this in common - Prayer.  

Today's prayer is for those young and or new parents:  

Lord, there is MUCH going on these days.  I see my own children and loved ones digging into much, trying to find the RIGHT way to raise their child....should they vaccinate or not?  Should they homeschool or not?  Should they make their child wear a mask or not?   So much pressure now with Social Media to be the perfect parent and not the helicopter parent.  And yet Lord, I write this for the YOUNG parents and still, I have the SAME questions at times for my OWN ADULT children.  Parenting is not easy nor is it for the faint at heart. 

 Lord, as the younger parents deal with toddler issues and being scared of lightning, help us older parents deal with the child like behaviors that we still see... help us all to SEEK YOU for the answers as to what to be scared about and what to CAST upon YOU. Lord, bless these younger parents - many are now dealing with co-parenting which parenting is difficult, but to share it when mom and dad are no longer within the same house - increases the chances for the enemy to get in and cause a wedge. 

 THERE is just much - now... but, as I said earlier - I take comfort in the fact that your earthly parents brought you up in a time where there was much turmoil as well... and they did well - they moved when they needed to.  Lord, I pray for each parent reading this today -- may he or se know WHEN to move, WHEN to place their faith in ACTION and when to speak up to guide through Your Word and Your Truth. 

 Bless them Lord, IJN  Amen.  

Faith over Fear - Blogged prayer post #35 - The Wilderness

 

This Pandemic has us all in a different mind set and as the summer officially began today, I finished something on my list of TO do stuff, so I guess summer CAN begin!!  

Last week I wrapped up some professional development and finished two classes.  

This week, I learned a new aspect of my summer job( at the insurance office ) and enjoyed a sweet visit with my sister and her kids from Wisconsin and today - I submitted y 2019 taxes.  I indeed, allowed the Pandemic to push the deadline for when I 'did' my taxes.  But they are done.  Amen!  

So now I can enjoy summer.  

Summer -- when one gets rest and works on the TAN!!  

Vacations begin or  are enjoyed. 

Maybe there is time for actually 'going to lunch'... 

In this Pandemic, there has been more time to read.  Brendan shared something with me yesterday that I want to write about and have here,  published,  to come back to.  This series of prayer/blogs are for faith over any fear.  

I have seen MUCH fear with the Pandemic.

 And I admit, I fell prey to it just yesterday. 

We were gifted a very special trip to the Bahamas on a private yacht through the Insurance company and when the email came about getting a Molecular NP something test for Covid-19, I panic'd and said, "NOPE".  I just didn't want to deal.  And, the company reps were very gracious to me and fully understood when I opted out of the trip,  but it was due to that test.  I just did not WANT that Q-tip being shoved into my nose - almost to my eyeballs.  Just. Did. Not. Want. That.  That was a valid fear - in my opinion and something I could OPT out on.   Temporary Fear.  

The Wilderness -- is something different.  

 I have seen fear in many during this Pandemic.  Fear that doesn't leave.  Fear that is controlling.  

I believe this Pandemic is indeed a wilderness.  In Biblical Old Testament, the wilderness was a very real place.  Deuteronomy 8 speaks of how the Lord led the Israelites out of Egypt.   

 

"The Wilderness was a place of death as an entire generation grew weak and perished there.  It was also a place of life 

where an entire generation was born and nurtured.  The new generation became the conquering warrior of Israel.  

God knew exactly what HE was doing when he sent them into the Wilderness.  And today God continues to do the same for His children. " 

If we don't understand why God is allowing this right now - we will become frustrated and bitter towards God.  There are many wildernesses in life.  

"Again, if we don't understand why God is allowing 

us to go through them, we will become frustrated.   This is true if we have been taught that with enough faith we will not go through them.  If we believe this, not only will we go through wildernesses, but we will condemn ourselves for lack of faith.  Or we may blame God for breaking His promises.  Jesus overcame the enemy in the inconvenient circumstances of the desert.  We must also face our wildernesses, overcoming them and revealing the victory of Christ in practical life.  "

                                     -- Spiritual Warfare by Dean Sherman 

So why does God allow this or lead us into a wilderness?  We get humbled -- during times like this we remember who god is and who are not.  It will make us more dependent upon HIM.  It will also put a spotlight onto our lives and others may notice which is hard, because it is uncomfortable. 

 Our world and the ones around us may have taught us to AVOID any humbling, but God knows the greatest thing we can have is consistent   humbling.     Being humbled is good.  It is PRIDE that we should fear. 

 We should remain faithful and trust God to endure and be grateful for the humbling wilderness. 

 

This Pandemic and our walking through it - is somewhat of a wilderness.  Our wilderness maybe not be one of sand dunes and water holes  - but it is equally as REAL.   We are here because of a fallen world. Without exception, we will all go through wildernesses. 

So, as we are in this wilderness of the Pandemic  and the present stirring of hatred within the Body of Christ .... let's stop and think and take a reflective look.  

Another reason we have a wilderness is for testing.  God will allow us to be in certain situations that reveal the content of our character.  (Doesn't that sound familiar -- MLK quoted God himself!)   Under pressure, that which is in us,  comes out.   Testing reveals our weaknesses and strengths to God and to ourselves.  God wants to repair our faults with HIM rather than out in public for all to see.  

 

This Pandemic and our walking through it - is somewhat of a wilderness.  Our wilderness maybe not be one of sand dunes and water holes  - but it is equally as REAL.   We are here because of a fallen world. Without exception, we will all go through wildernesses. 

So, as we are in this wilderness of the Pandemic  and the present stirring of hatred within the Body of Christ .... let's stop and think and take a reflective look.  

So what to do?  

• Truly thank the Lord for showing things in your heart that need fixing.
• Repent.  Ask God to forgive any sin or wrong motives.  You may also need to ask others for forgiveness.  
• Seek God's help to overcome and create new habits and attitudes. 
• Resist the enemy in his attempts in your life. 
• Never deny that you are going through a wilderness experience. 
• Never feel condemned for that which has surfaced during your wilderness experience.
• Simply say, "thank you, God, for showing me what was in my heart. Now let's do something about it."     pg. 148 - Spiritual Warfare 

Lord, I believe this blog is in perfect timing with everything on TV and in the Media about BLM and about ALL lives Matter and about everything associated with the turmoil within our country right now.  Lord, You know my heart and that I believe we have but ONE race, and that is the human race.  Lord, you know I believe we all bleed the same -- and that we have those that LOVE and serve you and those that still don't recognize their sin -- yet.   But Lord, show me where I have wronged or hurt another even with my silence ... or my OVER-SPEAKING.  

Lord, I pray that as we are in the Wilderness of the Pandemic, that MORE grace and MORE love will be experienced by those around me - especially THOSE in fear.  IN the name of Jesus - amen.  

Faith over Feelings Blogged prayer #29 - an OLIVE branch

This precious Olive has changed me.  See you in heaven!  

 Two short weeks ago, there was a post on Instagram that grabbed my attention and it changed me.  It was from a mother, seeking prayer for her 2 year old daughter.  Earlier that day, in worship, I had a moment with God and I wrestled.  

Would I truly GIVE everything for HIM?

What did Christ do?  

We were all in the JOY of the moment - preparing out hearts and homes for Christmas and I was dumbfounded at the request of this family.  

Not that I didn't have the faith to believe that INDEED, God could raise her from the dead - but would he?  

They were requesting a miracle for their baby girl.  A precious young life, named Olive Heiligenthal.   

They wanted an  AWAKENING. 

 I searched social media and tried my best to find out EVERY detail.  It stopped me cold for a good 2 days.  I wanted answers and God .... God... HOW can this be WHAT is consuming me?  

It consumed me because I have a little girl close to me that will be TWO on Sunday.  It consumed me because anytime a child is lost 'way before his or her time' - it hurts and we want answers. 

  It consumed me because God asked or called me to intercede for that family and I could feel pain and hurt and hopelessness.  

 I found myself thinking, "well, if she is on life support - then God can awaken her".  

I rationalized that.  It made sense to my brain.  Then I found out that she was in a Coroner's office. 
 Awaiting. 

 THEN I found myself feeling HOPELESS again.  Why?  

Why?  

The hopelessness lasts only moments.  It comes and goes as I seek Jesus and am reminded by Holy Spirit that indeed - GOD is good.  She is in heaven -- period.  THAT is indeed good and the ultimate outcome.  

I read several editorials on the situation.  Watched for updates and saw a firestorm of opinions.  Those in support and those claiming this 'false worship and church' was crazy.  

After a week, Bethel Church in Redding California put out a statement and video as to the 'why' they were having nightly services of prayer and worship and expecting a miracle.  

Finally -- I was getting some 'peace'. 

 Her mother, Kalley, is a worship leader and song writer.  Through the Holy Spirit, she has written some very present and meaningful worship songs that help me see HOPE and light in this dark world.  I have rested while listening to her sing -- a worship song over and over.  

I have prayed with women at an Encounter Weekend, resting in the words of "Ever Be" and "Spirit Move" and currently she has a new album out with more gut wrenching lyrics that will mean EVEN more as she begins a tour in January -- well, I state that but maybe she won't go on tour.  Grieving.  

Olive's home was spared over a year ago when the California wildfires consumed the homes all around hers and it caused both Olive's mom and her father to question and seek their Heavenly Father for more and an album was recently released with more gut wrenching lyrics that bring comfort, hope, and cause is to dig deep.  

Do we love and serve our Lord for WHAT HE does for us or for HE did for us... opened heaven.  
Died on that Cross so that we might live.  

Are we only serving because of the provision and all the good?  

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ( KJV) 
1  To every thing there  is a  season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; 
2   A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 
4   A time to weep , and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5   A time to cast away stones, and time to gather stones together; a  time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6   A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7   A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 
8   A   time to love, and a time to hate; a time of wart, and a time of peace. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time. 

 



As Brendan and I prayed, my sister shared with me that she too prayed a Lazarus prayer after her son, my nephew, Blake passed.  Maybe I knew this and had forgotten. I have NO doubt that I wouldn't pray the very same thing -- if a child around me died.  Now.  Too soon.  

  I have a nephew that did come back from death.  His momma found him unresponsive and not breathing and by God's divine appointment - she gave him CPR and got him breathing as the ambulance arrived.  Moments later the enormity of the situation is realized.... Did she  change  God's plan?     No -- I believe Zander will be a walking testimony  - to tell others of what the enemy tried to kill and HOW  God intervened.  

 Back to Olive and her family -- Brendan and I also took comfort in the fact that 'their grieving'...was reaching millions.  Thousands were having an awakening as they sought God and questioned and wondered. 

 There is nothing wrong with questioning our Lord - HE wants a relationship with us, to speak back and forth through prayer -- His Word and His gathering of the Body. 

 So, we grieved and prayed with her - through song.  God gifted her, gifted that body of believers with a mission,  and why shouldn't they seek God.  As Bill Johnson  ( Senior Pastor of Bethel Church ) stated, "we don't have a manual on this, we are taking it one moment at a time."  I felt that was true courage.  To boldly seek God for the answers and what to do.  

I recalled this morning when I sat on a sweet child's bed.  Her name was Rebekah.  We prayed and I had such a yearning to declare LIFE - so I did!    Many declared that she would be healed a 7th time from cancer.  And it was a hard blow to hear that she was healed -- in heaven.  She got up and walked into the arms of Jesus that fateful July day.... in all of our prayers, the enemy wanted to shame and tell us we were defeated and stupid for believing in a miracle.  

We were not.  God won.  


In cleaning out some stuff and making room over this holiday season, I came across something that I found back in December of 2009.  Not knowing at the time - but Beth Moore was seeking medical treatment  for cancer and from the doctor's stand point, they were preparing for the worst. 

  She wrote this -- and it HIT me so squarely between the eyes -- that I copied it and read it daily for several months back in 2009.   I even included it in my Christmas letter that year.  


I am sharing it again  -  because God had me FIND it in HIS timing, as it brought words to me that I couldn't express, but needed to read.    Over the past two weeks, He has been forming this blog in my head and heart.  This finding --  It brought closure to this Olive Awakening -- God does that. 

 He brings us peace and answers through His Word, through prayer and through godly counsel.  His timing is always best.   I believe, therefore, it is time for me to blog. 

This is from Beth Moore's Blog - back in December of 2009:  

"There is no way  I can emphasize strongly enough that the outcome of the story I am about to share with you has nothing to do with God's extravagant love for me, the right kind of praying, or the fact that "He's not finished with me yet."  

He loves us ALL extravagantly, whatever  the outcome of medical tests.  He does not play favorites.  He hears EACH desperate cry and esteems the groanings of our souls. 

He doesn't let our lives be touched or even ravaged by disease because we didn't get our words exactly right or because we yelped, "Help my unbelief!".

  He is not a mean, distant God playing Monopoly with human lives.  

And He's not finished  with a single one of us or we wouldn't be drawing terrestrial air in  our lungs and coursing our eyes over words on a computer screen.

  The fact is, He has a sovereign plan that is for good and not evil and He is writing a story of on -going redemption with each of our lives.  Our lives are woven together through seasons.

It is one person's season to experience this.  And another person's season to experience that.  Neither is loved more.  Neither is more dispensable."  

Olive Heiligenthal made a tremendous impact on MANY in her two short years.   Her family has shown me and others - to grieve-- in their own way --  that will help others.  Since then, I have seen two other families on social media asking for prayer for their little ones.  Why are these 'sudden infant crib deaths' arising again?  Many have their opinions -- but indeed, God is writing their story.   

Since then, I have prayed for protection and life over my own two granddaughters with an ever more present urgency. 

 If God's plan for them is a long life -- amen.  If in His Kingdom plans, they see Jesus before me, I will  be  ----changed -- but, I know that I know, God is not mean.  No one is more loved cause of this or that.  I know that no one is dispensable.  I know that HE will bring beauty out of the ashes.    I know that I know, I will meet Olive one day - and the many others that  left this earth too soon.  



Today -- there are several families that I thought of as I wrote.  Many are dealing with the death of a loved one and its hurts.  It still hurts and for several it has been several years.   One family  in particular, in on my heart almost daily,  as this family is walking in a new season and it is HARD.  

 The after affects -- especially during the holiday of Christmas when so much is focused on the birth of a child and the HOPE that Jesus brings.  

Today - there are  several women I know, grieving the loss of a marriage because of a husband who is choosing to listen to the enemy instead of the Word of God.  They see their present circumstance and wonder HOW God is going to meet their needs, hold their hearts, and guide them.  And there is not only women -- there are several men that my husband and I have lifted before Jesus as they too seek to HOLD their marriage together as the enemy continues to 'seem' to get victory.  

And today,    there are just life decisions and circumstances for several others  where 'olive branches' need to be offered and they are not. 

 Unforgiveness that has such a hold onto and into families that needs to be brought to the light and needs reconciliation.  But.. in God's timing.  In the right season.  Waiting  meanwhile and watching is hard -- but we can't go ahead of God.  Sometimes in our waiting -- that is where WE are healed and SEE more.   May we always SEE others through YOU Lord and the blood that was shed on the Cross.  

So for this - I end in prayer -- 

Lord, to the whomever  that reads this - may they know and understand that YOU SEE them.  May those around them, SEE as well and may the followers of Christ around them, ACT and be Your immediate hands and feet of hope.  


Lord, for me -- this blog today is a prayer for ME. YOU know what the enemy bombarded me with this am - early and YOU know what I took to the Cross.  May this transparency help others - and may this cause another to pray -- for that HARD stuff.    

May this blog - reach THOSE  YOU want today and may their receive it and act.  And Lord, I pray that this would be shared - that YOU would get the glory and the understanding would come from the Holy Spirit.  


Lord, for the Heiligenthal family and the people surrounding them at Bethel and in the world -- may their faith GROW stronger.  For those that WANT answers - please provide the WHY in this death for them, and for the rest of us, let us be satisfied that we don't have to have all of the answers.  

Lord, for the ones around me and reading this that NEED to extend that olive branch  - may they have courage and may they proceed even when it is not reciprocated.  

And Lord, that we would have faith over our feelings.  That indeed as Beth reminded me this week --  YOU don't DO stuff to us or for us because we need an adjustment in our UNBELIEF.  That YOU are not mean and don't play Monopoly with our lives.   Lord, may we be aware that we are still here and breathing for YOUR purpose and YOUR sovereign plan is for good and not evil.  

Amen