Beloved, you are loved. Blogged prayers # 19, 20 and 21!

Ok, first off - I am sorry. This will be long.  

Beloved - you are loved.  And if abortion HAS touched you in some way - please forgive me for bringing this up.  I pray you will have the courage to continue to read this.  

 If you are a woman that was told  your mom wanted to abort you - 

Lord, I pray right now and ask that this beloved soul would repeat after me .. "I, _____ rebuke the enemy who wanted to abort and stop my life from happening.  I forgive my mother and allow YOU Lord to work in her life.  Lord, I release to You the need for an apology and I pray for the people around her that  encouraged her, I forgive them...Lord, ONLY You know what transpired.  But I, Lord, thank you for sparing my life and I pray that from THIS day forward -- I won't allow the enemy to use this to harm me, oppress me, or remind me that I was not loved...because I am.  I am worthy and I am loved and have purpose -  IN Jesus Name.  


And...if you are a sister in Christ that did choose abortion and the guilt is totally hitting you right now ... I pray you would read this  - to the end, but I pray you would also pray  this:  

Lord, I am Yours... forgive me for my past mistakes and decisions that I made under stress, decisions I made at the advice of others, or simply because I was scared or wanted to escape.  Lord, the guilt is overwhelming.  Lord, I thank you for dying on that cross and I know that I know - my baby is healed and with you in heaven.  Lord, I can tell myself that truth - that she or her is healed, but help my heart to believe it.  Help my head to believe it.   Lord, I have sought you for forgiveness but now I must forgive myself ..Lord, I pray a cleansing prayer over me -- cleanse my thoughts, cleanse my future thinking, help me to know and understand  that I am a new creation and that I am free to believe I am redeemed.  I am blessed and I receive your grace and mercy.  I am forgiving myself and I will allow YOU Lord to heal me in those areas...as the enemy has kept me in silence or in bondage for FAR too long I want to walk in the knowledge that I can move forward and total healing is realized.  IN Jesus name  - Amen.  



Ok,  so if you are a young woman thinking about abortion - I pray that God surrounds you right now with the right women and sensitive people that can help you see there are other alternatives.  


Last weekend.  On Friday night -- I was a part of a Pregnancy Center Gala.  I had the privilege  of listening to Matt Walsh.  He is a conservative Christian blogger/writer and activist for many causes, namely one  -- Pro Life.   He is well versed and intelligent and after hearing his message to a  crowd of about 200 -- I was convicted and committed.  

I sought Jesus for forgiveness.  As I was one of those who basically had their head in the sand.  It was an issue -- but it never was an issue where I stood up and took a stand.  After leaving the dinner, I wanted to have a sign company  make me a 3 foot by 10 foot sign that I could go and stand  with on the  corner of 441 and 70 and proclaim  to the world - that abortions  are murder.   Seriously, maybe that is something I should still do. 


I sought forgiveness as I have watched people protest and stand in front of an abortion clinic  and said to myself, "wow - they have guts - that is not for me".  Again, I felt as if my actions were just ignoring the situation.  

I sought forgiveness because at one time, I entertained the thought and idea of an abortion back in college .... being stupid.... knowing WHAT all laid  ahead of me. Because I believed I could be pregnant, I was prepared to take the EASY way out and abort.  I have never truly admitted that before - in a  public forum  that is.  The thought and idea was there.  Did I know I was pregnant? - No.  So, you may believe my godly sorrow is not justified -- but, I felt the guilt.   Back in the eighties - you just didn't go buy a pregnancy test and find out in an hour.  You had to wait.   You had to go to a doctor for confirmation. My  husband and I  have talked about this, he says, "ya maybe...who knows what we would of done?".  He is a man.  Men are life waffles and compartmentalize stuff.  It was not an issue for him.  He doesn't believe that would of happened.   But me...women are like spaghetti - we let everything overlap.     I  remember those three weeks very vividly and really felt that was WHERE I was heading,  if I found out I was pregnant, was serious thought about an abortion.   I knew I was scared and I prayed that God would spare us.  We were stupid.  Living out of God's plan - thinking we could plan our own destiny.  We could...maybe... but we can't CHOOSE our consequences.   

Now you may feel this revelation is silly and not relevant - but this is my story and in my perspective - I was willing to abort and commit murder.  I have felt guilt. 

 So - last Friday, I sought forgiveness and cleared my head so the enemy could NEVER use this against me - again.   Ever again. 

  I have done that before -- but this past weekend -- it was different and it  became revelation  ... a Rhema word for me.    I feel there may  be several like me that have  felt this way. 

Now it has been a week ---  And if you are reading and following this series of blogs, you know that today I am trying to catch up.  One of the many  reasons I was unable to blog this past week was that every time I went to the computer - I was angry.  I was dealing with something.  

On Saturday a week ago,  I posted something on Facebook.  I posted a Ben Shapiro video where he basically states his reasoning  and his thoughts as to why the Kavanaugh situation had to happen.  It was because he was Pro - Life.  Abortions and the awareness of the 'legalization' of them were in jeopardy.  He clearly stated and I do agree that if Mr. Kavanaugh was pro - choice there never would have been the delay and the entire Dr. Ford debate.   Not to belittle or suggest that Dr. Ford wasn't a victim of abuse.  I don't believe it was Mr. Kavanaugh. 

This post began some conversation. 

A  few days previous to that post, there was a bit of a debate or 'attack' on my page because I had posted something else  pertaining to the political  race here in Florida.  I was quite surprised about  the flack and even was a bit mad at my husband for not getting on FB and defending my integrity and honor.  In that debate and conversation - I was challenged to post something that was respectable.  

"if abortion is the issue, post that - but not a lie"  

So I did. 

I posted that video and added in my commentary.  One particular analogy that hit a nerve with me was this:  

"if we all found out that 2 year olds were being murdered in a clinic behind the mall - wouldn't we all be there right now in protest?"    "So why aren't we?"   - Matt Walsh


"I would ask, did you have value today?"  
"Yes, I have value, I have potential and have great plans to fulfill".  
"Did you have potential at 10 years of age?"  
"Yes, I did- of course". 
"Did you have value as a one year old?" 
"Why of course -- I had just as must value as I do now!"
"What about the moment you emerged from the birth canal?"   
"Yes, I had value and potential".  
"Then rewind that about 5 seconds.  The 4 seconds before you emerged out of that birth canal...did you have value?"  

"Baaaazinnnnnngga"..                                   - Again - Matt Walsh 


This perspective hit me hard.  When you become aware of your sin ...and see it...repentance is quick.  That analogy  was  what God used to really open my eyes.  
So as I said, on Saturday, I posted.  And I had some feedback.  

I was asked if I could handle or acknowledge that the 'morning after pill' could be used  in the cases of rape and /or when the woman was in danger.  And I replied, "NO"

No, taking a pill on the day after is still - in my eyes - murder and playing God.   Taking a pill to cause you to abort -- is still wrong.  

I posted my comments and added to the conversation however, by the afternoon - that post was deleted.  

Not. By. Me. .... Facebook took it down.  I was appalled.  I was mad.  I was frustrated and then I laughed as my hubby reminded me that to actually 'write' something that was considered questionable or it needed to be reviewed by Facebook ..."well, way to go- high five!"    ( Remember, men don't get as excited about certain stuff - like we do!)   


So, therefore, I spent much of the week thinking and debating on what my rebuttal would be.   I did contact FB and inquire why it was deleted.   In doing that - I found a list and report on the posts that I, myself, had reported as offensive.  So perhaps, someone within the thread reported my post as abusive and therefore it was removed.  

The Activist Mommy had this happen to her about a month ago - I follow her blog/vlog and she stated that it took 3 weeks for FB to place her post back up there. 


I do love FB.  I love how I can communicate and see.  I pray that I don't use it for  harm, but that it is something that is good.  I love sharing photos and seeing what is happening within my family of friends and community - but I also keep some  advice from my husband in my thoughts ......

He reminds me often, "it is just FB - if you were not on FB, would you be as upset or would you even know about this?    So...why get involved or....just forget it!".  

Men...here again -- we can learn much from their simple way to looking at stuff- a waffle! 

Therefore -- today -- this blogged prayer is to remind ALL of us - 


Lord, for those women I prayed for at the beginning of this blog- God I pray this blog will be a revelation that they can be free from this oppression and I pray for anyone reading this - that the enemy would NOT use it as a lie...but that they would hear the Holy Spirit and believe there is freedom in Christ.    Lord, for the women I am praying for - may they continue to be told through your Word that they are loved and may they believe WHAT Your Word says about us and not what the enemy would want us to believe.  Lord, I pray for this upcoming election - that Christians would VOTE for life -- and they would take a stand.  Lord for the women that spoke up and added to the conversations on my FB post last week about the Governor and about Abortions...Lord, ONLY You know exactly what their hearts feel and believe - may it be YOUR will and YOU that they seek and CRAVE.  IN Jesus Name... Amen.