Another Guest blogger - When God answers prayer.....

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This is just me....  

Sometimes people write for therapy.   Some people write to just be heard.  Some are paid to write...others write to make you laugh and others still write to teach you something.   That is why I write.  I pray that as I write, it will make you laugh, cause you to pray a little more or even have hope to believe in a miracle;  but I also like to share what  God has been teaching me.    So I blog.  I feel compelled to write.  When a few days pass and I don't blog -- I miss it.  I pray against 'checking' my numbers.  (Checking to see how many have visited the blog site and then comparing one blog to another.)  The enemy would LOVE to use this against me and at times, I have to recheck my heart.  

I have made mistakes.  I have shared too much at times, and I believe I have been too IN YOUR FACE as well.   I also know, some won't read my blogs anymore -- because it does bring conviction but also -- they just don't care and THAT is ok too.  Before I publish any blog, I ask God once again -- is this for YOU or for ME?   And I believe that when HE no longer has me writing and publishing for HIS purpose...I will know!  As, I will stand accountable for every word - one day.  

I also love to read blogs.  I don't read every blog I come across -- I stick with Christian sites and so forth.  I have a few bloggers that I will read but I also look for new writers.  

I pray that as you read this, and I am speaking to you - the reader - I am well aware of your time.
  Time is precious and often people won't read a blog because it is too long or it just does not interest them.  But I pray that if you were led here because you know me or because God directed you to read this ....then I pray that the time spent was indeed WORTH it.    A blog post was a way GOD spoke to me when I needed to know there was hope.  So...it is kind of dear to my heart.  

And, I am well aware that my blogs are long.  They just are.  However, some of the best blogs I have read, and some of God's best stories in HIS Word...are a little longer than a 2 minute read.  

Facebook is dear to me as well, as in a time when I  felt so totally alone and broken, God used that medium for several to contact me and HE orchestrated it and it ...a that moment...saved a life - mine.  I was ready to quit.  

So, earlier this week, I had a sweet woman of God write up what she had shared at our recent Women's Breakfast and I shared it.  I was so blessed by the analogy of a Toaster that I asked her to write it up so I could share!!  

I have been privileged and honored to work with many many women of God and often I will say to them.."you need to write a blog".   I have seen God work so tremendously with a broken spirit and it is hopeful and inspiring.  Their stories inspire me....so I must share!  

Several of my blogs -- I know have inspired  others.   Those people have told me so.  I have been told I should submit them to be published  -- like through Crosswalk.com or another Faith based publications.  

I admit, I have not ventured into that -- I have submitted a few to one publication but they were not published.  I guess I got gun shy.  However, I know that often it takes many submissions ...to be published.  

But anyway ----  here is another guest blogger. 

 For today, she is a mystery writer.  She has written before. I know she will write again.    Today's blog is for her... she wrote this.  She has record of how God is speaking to her right now. However, her words and her insight are timeless and for others to read and soak in as well. 

But tonight, this is for another and it was for me -- as I read her words, I was reminded of HOW God romanced me and brought me back to life.  

As you read and I pray you will READ it all -- I hope that you would feel that relationship with God as well. One so close, that you would not go back.    I could relate to her and as she wrote and  I answered..."NOPE, I am NOT going back!"  

To you - my readers-- 

Thank you --  for reading my blog, for allowing me this format.  Thank you, as if you are one of those faithful ones that have signed up for the email link and  get the blog first...  you will probably understand the pain in  this blog about answered prayers. 

Thank you -- if you are a reader because I share this on FB, I pray that the time spent reading this - is indeed -- not wasted.  However, I know that God will indeed speak to you as well.  

I am humbled that I am able to share this. 

I am humbled and honored that she would let me share this.  

 This mystery writer  is in the middle of a storm -- but she is fighting like a true warrior knowing God will win!     And I know that I know - God is indeed looking down and saying, "that is one of mine, well done girl, well done my good and faithful servant". 

 humbled to be in HIS service, Michelle   

When God answers prayer but it doesn’t look anything like you expected

I have a confession to make….

I am a mess.

Simply put. I’m a mess.

I make so many failures as a wife, mother, step mother, friend, sister, co-worker, etc. etc. etc.

I am a woman living in a sinful world; I make so many mistakes daily but I’m striving for the Kingdom of God and I’m so impressed with God’s ability to not only forgive me but pull me into His presence and love on me.

The primary focus of my prayers for over a year have been to transform and increase my marriage and my family.

Daily I have prayed protection over each member of my family as well as the sanctity of my marriage.

I was remembering my prayers this morning as I lay in my bed listening to my child lightly breathing - my child  would let out a little chuckle over whatever dream was keeping my child  so joyfully captivated.

I thought about some of the other prayers I’ve prayed over the course of this year and realized they are being answered… but in some rather painful ways right now.

Lead me with wisdom and discernment, Lord. Take me deeper with You, Lord. Guide me. Grant me wisdom and help me to become more selfless. Remove fear. Lord, help me to fight, to hold on. Strengthen my faith. Learn patient endurance. Make me into a wife my husband will trust, love and cherish. Remove me and place YOU into every area. Change me from the inside out. Reckless obedience in God. Discipline me with hasty compliance and submission. To be humble. Remove all self-righteous lies the enemy whispers. Purge me, Lord. Circumcise my heart. Face what I fear (being alone) and become fearless. Search me, Lord. Deal with me swiftly of anything stopping me from the full potential You have for me.  Lord, show me any unforgiveness, bitterness, grieving the Holy Spirit, bring it to light and cleanse me. May I abide in You. I want to be a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.

These have been my sincere prayers this past year.

This is the raw revelation to those prayers.

We never truly recognize how much a mess we are until God starts to deal with us.

When He starts to peel back the layers of the deepest parts of our souls and pulls out all of the ‘ugly’.

This is such a painful process.

This morning as I lay in bed, I had to ask myself one question.

In this valley. This dark pit I’m in, this immeasurable pain, while God is refining me through the fire. Would I ever turn back? Could I ever go back to the person I used to be?

You see, the enemy wasn’t trying to tear me down when I wasn’t serving the Lord.

It was when I started chasing after the very thread of His robe that the enemy started taking notice.

He realized that when God started working in me, in my husband, in our family, that we would be a mighty force to be reckoned with.

So, he attacks.

And… the Lord fights… and He also allows this time to take me through the fiery furnace to remove all of the dirt and soot stopping me from my fullest potential in Him. To…. Remind me….. I cannot operate in my own strength or knowledge. It comes from Him… To humble me.

To break me. So I can turn and fully rely on Him and Him alone.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 The Message (MSG)

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

I have looked back over the past 6 years of my life. The valleys I’ve been in. The struggles. The pain. These times, God’s still small voice was there. He was loving me. He was strengthening me. He was refining me.

He still does.

And He disciplines.

A loving father will allow his children free will to choose their own way. He will let them make mistakes. Then in his unfailing love, he will reveal the error of our ways, he will discipline and he will wipe the slate clean. That’s what a loving father does.

This is what God continues to do in my life.

But it’s one done out of the complete, unfailing love of a genuine father that wants to first reveal, discipline and cleanse of anything.

Could I ever turn back? Could I ever return to the ways of my past? Could I ever go somewhere where I could not hear His voice or sense His presence?

If He could deliver me from my pain right now, would I do it if it meant I’d never hear Him or feel Him again?

As Moses said In Exodus 33:15 "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.”

No, Lord. Don’t leave me. I’ll stay in the fire. I’ll allow You to cleanse me and purge me. I’ll allow You to do Your work in and through me.

I could never turn back.

To think of You not being the very center of my life frightens me.

So, thank you, Lord.

Thank you that You are my discipline, You are the refiner of my soul, You cleanse me of my flesh making me into Your likeness. Thank you, You are answering my prayers. You are strengthening.

It is the faith planted and grown from my grandmother and mother that now lives in me (2 Timothy 1:5) that I will stand through the fire. I will walk through the trials. I will submit in total obedience to my Lord and Savior to refine me.

For HIS Kingdom.

James 1:2-6

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

Lord, You are answering my prayers. Not in the way I expected, wanted or anticipated.

This is Your will.

I will submit.

Your obedient daughter anchored in You.

Prayer for a wife in a HARD Spot - #9

When God moves a mountain....

I understand and realize that sometimes it seems impossible.  "He will never change.".  I hear that and I get that.  But, let me ask you this...."have you changed?".

I think people can change.
I believe that through God, a man can change.

I believe that no matter what -- God has to be the center and the 'control' for our men.

But...  a BIG factor is whether HE loves Jesus or not.
When he does not love Jesus or... no...when he does not LOVE Jesus...  it is quite impossible to believe that he will change.

BUT God...   God loves him still.  I know that is hard to believe, but it is true.  If  He, God,  will love me through my idolatry and allow me the time to get it right with him...I must allow that time for my husband.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.   2 Peter 3.9


So, what do you say to a beautiful wife  that has come home to face a man - drunk again... the house a total mess.. and then...to top it off, he becomes abusive and hurtful???


Well, I would call the law.
Or I would leave.
Or, I would.....

but first, I would call upon my Heaven Father that is in control to move ...move him or move me... or move....  and SHOW me the answer.  

I don't believe the Lord tells anyone, "yes, You are allowed to leave this marriage".

I do believe that the Lord will provide a way to move forward.

If he won't get sober, if he won't get help and you feel unsafe, you must get away from him.

 Pray for a few days and ask him to leave.

Pray for a few days and look for a place to move to.

Pray for a few days and seek God for the next move.

Meanwhile.... as Jesus says, "go and sin no  more".
 Don't use the situation as an excuse to grieve the Holy Spirit or God.
Watch your mouth, guard what comes out.
 Remember, he is still the father of your children.
 Or... if he isn't,  allow Your children to see you extend grace and mercy even to one that does not deserve it.

 It is important to know and realize this revealation... God loves him as much as He loves you.  

God's Word says,  The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.   2 Peter 3.9

So,   prayer if for a wife in a HARD spot.  


Lord, Your Word says, that if we commit our work to YOU...our plans will be established.  Lord, a beloved daughter of yours is in deep need and pain right now.  She has a husband that continues to abuse himself and a situation.  Lord, another has a husband that won't get out of bed.  Lord, and another has one that just exists in her house but has left the marriage LONG ago.    AND Lord, there is another that loves her man deeply and she knows he needs You and he has no want or desire to get to know you.  So, therefore, basically -- Lord, ALL of these MEN need YOU.  Lord, open their eyes...   Ok Lord, I will say it...  DO What is ever necessary to bring them to a crisis of faith...but don't kill them.  For the hardest of marriages,  remove the husband so she can move forward and stand before you one day and say...   I tried.  Lord, for the one who is struggling to see  ANY good in her husband, remind her - YOU are her husband.  And Lord, for the wife who is ready to give up or give in... Lord, I pray she would remember to seek you -- as I know, You will  ask her to wait ON YOU...  and You will build her strength as she waits on You.  

Lord, may this bring comfort to her - 
I am but a humbled simple lamb - 
IN Jesus name, Amen

I won't underestimate God!

I clearly heard God impress upon me the other morning -- "Everything that happens to you is for YOUR own good"....and  "I am doing good for you".

I sort of laughed and then smiled at that thought and then sat in my car a moment and said to myself, "really Lord?".

Yes...  "everything YOU do for me IS good!".

Everything.

I am at a point in my life where I have had MANY victories so when it looks pretty bleak -- I can seek God to bring back into remembrance the GOOD and it helps me get past the yuck.

I am also at a point in my life when I believe HE is teaching me SO much -- as time is short and HE wants to use me...I WANT to be used.    ( for HIS Kingdom)  

Everything that comes our way -- should be filtered through the heavenly language....God's language -- HIS Word.  When I look at and filter EVERY experience and feeling, and thought through HIS Word.... something changes.

I sound pretty smart - don't I ??  That concept was shared by  Lisa Bevere in the  Girls with Swords  DVD lesson last Monday.

I have thought about that all week.

So, when I think about every situation and prayer request and see it through the heavenly language of God's Word -- I am going to believe that everything that transpires is for our good.  
 

I was reminded of the story of Ester.

 Today as I was a part of a beautiful prayer group that called upon the heavens - called upon Jesus to send warrior angels to fight and called upon  the Holy Spirit  to comfort a warrior that needed uplifting.    This warrior -- reminded me of Ester. 

Life is hard.

Situations- somethings at sometimes seem so UNBEARABLE to deal with.

You can get to the point of just wanting to GIVE up -- but .....don't.
 

  

 The Story of Ester.  Here is a recap of that Book in the Bible:  

Esther was a young, beautiful, Jewish woman living in Persia. She was unknowingly thrust into one of the greatest stories of all time, due to a very strange turn of events. Esther proved to be a woman of unusual wisdom and courage, facing adversity and wickedness with a quiet confidence and grace. While God is not directly mentioned in this book, His hand and perfect timing are seen in every turn of events. 

Then her story can teach us some lessons:  

Esther saved the Jews. Her life can teach us several vital lesson:

1. There is a preparation time.
She allowed herself to be prepared for the task. God's preparation time can sometimes be long and uneventful. Moses spent 40 years in the desert looking after sheep before coming to deliver the Israelites. The refining of our characters is very essential to God's plan for our life. God cannot use a proud woman (or man).

I believe there was a season in my life where GOD prepared me.  HE changed the way I felt about Him and myself and then, when I was ready -- HE did allow some revelation and I know that I know that my 'time' was THEN to walk with HIM and walk in faith and learn to TRUST God.  

I know a woman right now - that has been prepared - I believe it.   I have seen her strong and I have seen her weak.  I have seen her at her best and I have seen her hurting and trying to drown the sorrow.  But now....   She is strong and she knows how to hear from God and she knows that HE is asking her to trust HIM -- but it is really hard.  

  I have seen her-  now - at her best for many months.   She has been patient and believing.    I have seen the 'old her'  that constantly sought God and taught about God.    But I can see, she is at her breaking point -- and I want to scream, "please don't give up!"  The enemy continues to try and hurt her through her thoughts...through her children...and through her circumstances. 

 But I want to remind her tonight --  Her children are blessed.  She has the Holy Spirit within her and so her thoughts ...can be overcome by the blood of the Lamb.  And...that one she SO hates right now ......  God is not liking his behaviors either -- but God knows that the two of you - can overcome and He has thousands of angels...just waiting to run to him -- but his eyes have to open.  Until then -- wait dear one ---  God  can heal your heart.    And I am just going to believe and pray a scary prayer -- GOD -- heal them -- restore them...break him.... and let her see a glimpse of YOUR plan so she will not loose HOPE!  

2. We need the favor of God.
Esther found favor with the King and so did Mordecai. Even Jesus grew in favour with God and man (Luke 2:52). When you live a life pleasing to God, by obeying His will you will find favour with Him. God will also give you favour with people.
I have had people come to me and say, "pray for me as YOUR prayers are heard".  God hears each and every prayer.  We do need God's favor and it comes with our obedience.   The key is living a life pleasing to God.  I believe many times we give up or give in ....right before the blessing comes.  And so often, we give up or give in cause God does N OT seem to be moving in our timeline - and we get impatient.  God's timing does seem slow, but trusting it -- brings favor.  

I believe that my friend HAS God's favor....she is walking in it.    And I prayed today that HE would seek her and show her that HE is pleased.  

3. God works in His own time and season.
Esther got her timing right. Maybe God has put it on your heart to do something for Him. Don't just jump into it but wait for his time. Joseph was in jail until it was God's time for him to be released. God will move in His time when we remain faithful and alert to His leading.

Another lesson from Ester on God's timing.....it does seem like God is really trying to TEACH us something.  I believe there is a woman reading this tonight -- and right now, she knows that God is telling her -- NOW is the time...

Maybe NOW is the time to fast and pray for a specific child that  is lost or mixed up in sin...
Maybe NOW is the time for you to sit next to a friend who is in a storm and just PRAY with her...
Maybe NOW is the time to get off your butt...and DO something....for HIM...instead of expecting God to lay it all before you...
Maybe NOW is the time to actually pray and seek counsel on something or a stronghold that has plagued you for FAR too long...
Maybe NOW is the time to go to church - find one...worship one...and maybe ask yourself, "does God know me?"...
Maybe NOW is the time to give and extend forgiveness...
Maybe NOW is the appointed time for restoration within a part of your family...
Maybe NOW is the appointed time...

4. Your background does not hinder your future with God.
Esther was an orphan. God still exalted her and used her. Some of Jesus' disciples were fishermen, tax collectors and one was a doctor. Your background does not determine what God can do with you. Your faith does.
I did a bible study on Ester with Beth Moore.  A major part of the study is taking a look at 'our past' and that it has BROUGHT us to this point - here and now.  Our past was our destiny.  Our past did shape our future -- but it never has to dictate it.  

God has allowed experiences within out lives -- as we walk through it with HIM...we can then, do that for another and help another walk through the pain of..... a death....a betrayal....a rejection....

God uses the ordinary to do the extraordinary -- our faith creates miracles!  


There is NOTHING God can't heal, restore, or redeem.

There is NOTHING that can separate the love HE has for us--

Are you in a season like Ester was?
  Is now the time to step it up -- and help SAVE a child or friend around you?
Only You and God know the answer to that --
If Ester had NOT spoken up when she did  -- what would of happened?
She saved a people....
Who have you helped God to save today?


I am humbled.  Humbled that I was reminded this evening that my blogs -'help'  - thank you Hannah -- I certainly enjoyed hearing that.

I am humbled that I am able to pray with a bevy of women that have the faith to FAKE it until it is felt.    ( Sorry, Ryan..there are men in that group too)

I am humbled that God has given me several memory stones...in my life that I can come back to and see victory when it seemed hopeless...so I WILL believe for another - it is NOT hopeless.

Sure...can God use a divorce?  yes.  Sure....if this divorce does transpire...will God still use my beautiful friend - YEP -- I know it.  But I am still going to believe that this 'couple' will be reunited and it will happen in a way that MANY will see and say -- 'that was God'...as there are children and many lives that need restoration and healing as well -- that are connected.

I know God loved  me THAT much.
I know God loved Job.... Mary..... Sarah ...Ester ...THAT much.
I know God loves them  - THAT much.

God does not have to 'faith' it until HE feels it - HE is the love.
God is not to be underestimated.

God shows up - each and every time.
Amen.

Lord, I know that I know  -- you will show up in her life in a mighty way and tomorrow will be a new day and she will testify as to your faithfulness and I know she will seek Your Will...and I am believing that she won't have to 'fake' it...  she will be granted her hearts desire -- in Jesus name, amen.  

Her hearts desire is YOUR will Lord -- I know that I know that -- thank you! Amen. 

- humbled, Michelle

You might be a HERO.

Hebrews 11 speaks about the heroes of faith.  The Message Bible, Hebrews 11. 1-2 says, the fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.  It's our handle on what we can't see.  The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. 

Heroes are people of Substance.

----Because of faith... there were ancestors that skipped death -
  because of faith...they .....  - pleased God
-built a massive ark in the middle of dry land
-traveled to places unknown
-reached into the future and blessed their descendants
-celebrated the Passover
-welcomed spies and escaped destruction
-toppled kingdoms
-won battles
-routed enemies
-received their loved ones back from the dead
-kept their eyes on the eternal......and the list can go on.

  I am  just using a list from Girls with Swords on pg. 39... 

I want to be that kind of Hero!


We had an excellent night again with Girls with Swords.  Monday, there were two lessons that I can listen too and read over and over.   Heroes and Battlegrounds.   The Cross.

The battleground = our lives.   Look up Ephesians 6.12 - write it out....memorize it.  That is our battleground. 
We don't wrestle again flesh and blood -- but .... spiritual warfare....etc.   That was a powerful reminder as we place our WHOLE armor on and know that we are over comers.

However, the Hero part still has me thinking.

I know many women today -- that have celebrated 'passover' and have been passed over and escaped death --
I know several that have routed enemies - enemies of addiction and pride-
I know several that have spoken life into their children and their children serve God - 
I know a several that have won battles -
I know one that has beaten cancer -
I know one that has a redeemed marriage -
I know one that has had a physical healing -
I know one that has given up all 'anxiety drugs' and has peace and joy with Him -
I know several women that are building a massive ark of refuge within their homes ...believing that the flood of grace and mercy will come back within their men!  
I know a dear few that have received their loved ones back from the dead - a spiritual death....
I know even more that keep their eyes on the eternal -
I know several who have traveled to places unknown ....and returned to share HIS joy and Word -
***

I may not have marched around Jericho 7x but I have walked around a trailer and claimed victory over a situation  and have seen it come into fruition.
I may not have welcomed a spy into my home, but I did allow a stranger back in and I was rewarded for it.
I have not crossed the Red Sea on dry land  but I know what it is like to walk and see something totally dead come back to life.
I have not toppled a Kingdom, but I have battled and won a war with the enemy who wanted my marriage.
I have not turned from an angry earthly king .....but I have turned away from the world to obey God!

Hero.

Lord God, I pray that YOU see in me a HERO - I pray I take risks.  I pray I live as a stranger among this land.  Lord, I pray I have an attitude that blesses you.  Lord, I pray that there would be no comparisons or competition but that I would strive to be YOUR utmost best and that I serve you 'to the hilt'.  I pray I am brave with You.  I pray there is more within me to do more for You - Lord, use me.   Lord, for the one reading this -- I pray that she or he will also recite this prayer and seek you -- and ask you -- give YOU permission to come and use them as a hero for You.  Your champion...You conquer as when we are with you - nothing is impossible.  - Michelle

And Lord, I pray for that dear one reading this -- that needs to HOLD on 5 minutes longer.....and then she will see her miracle.  I pray for the dear one that has been holding for the past 10 years....and still she smiles and believes that YOU are with her.  I pray for the dear one who messed up royally recently but she is taking the belief that YOU will bring beauty out of her ashes - she has given them to you.  I pray for the one that continues to weave back and forth on that roller coaster of life -- she loves you but has not fallen in LOVE with you -- she has not crossed over and she knows she should...she knows she has to .....but for whatever reason Lord, she hasn't....  And I pray for that new one - that little one, that she grows in You and does not allow the enemy to sway her BIG decision and for that precious one -- that knows that she knows...she is beating a dead horse - but she is holding onto something -- give her the strength to LET it go - and believe that YOU have something more for her ...... God, in heaven -- for the one that needs to see YOU break the arm of the evil on -- do it for her today -- let her see YOU bring all justice ...that YOU can take care of it, that she DOES not need to seek revenge- may she see her life eternally and get beyond this temporary state - God, YOU have MUCH to do today - but I know  - you answer - amen.  


   
If you would like to JOIN us for Girls with Swords -- you are STILL welcome -- we will continue on this study for 2 more Mondays -- message me for details. - Michelle 

And The Cross - that is for the next blog -- !!    

Healing a wounded heart - REPOST

  I have a sweet sister in Christ that is hurting so badly right now.  I cried with her on the phone last night.  She knows her place and the 'timing' right now with her life is that -- she must draw close to God ...and let GOD be her everything.  I do know what it is like.....to hurt THAT bad and really....just want to crawl into bed....and wake up in heaven.    

I don't want to make like of this.....I did not want to 'commit suicide'....but I wanted the pain to stop.  I don't want to belittle anyone's pain -- but as believers in Christ in this hurting world - we must keep our eyes open to the fact that others around us ....ARE hurting THAT much.  

So, with limited time today -- I went back to a post I wrote to encourage another  - back to March 2, 2014..... and I will RESHARE...what I wrote on that day and I pray that the time lapse won't make this any less real....cause as I reread it today -- I knew that if God used it back then to speak life to another....HE will USE it again today to speak life and give encouragement.  

I am going to just say --  to my sweet niece........  GOD wins and hang in there --  HE is fighting for you. AND HE won't let this pain last much longer ....see Isaiah 41.10 and believe that HE is holding you -- with his RIGHT hand.....amen.  

March 2, 2014

 Today is Sunday.  I had a tremendous blessing at church today.  I don't wish to brag -- but I WANT to make God famous.....

I want others to experience the JOY only HE can bring.

I want others to believe in something that CAN happen with HIS help.

I want people to have growing faith - that WHEN they get beyond their own hurt and crisis...they will then PRAY it forward and speak life into another.

That is what happened with me.

I really thought I 'knew it all'.  But I did not.

God loves me enough to allow something to 'hurt'...so my attention was refocused.

And then HE healed me.

And then He restored me and restored my family.  Simple?  No.  But yet...yes.

However -- it takes God's time.

Psalm 34.18 says:  "the LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit".  

I have a sort of 'running' debate with a sister in Christ.  She says 'her pain'  was more  devestating.  More crushing.

I say, 'pain is pain'.  I know that when I was rejected and broken hearted -- there were days, MANY days when ALL I wanted to do was GO to heaven --  check out -- don't pass 'go...don't collect my $200'...( that is a reference from the game of Monopoly).

I would never tell her that my pain equaled her pain -- I did not experience what she did.

But now that God has healed and restored the earthquake that fell upon me -- I realize that when another sister in Christ is in pain -- her pain and hurt is real and that she may just want to check out too -- -- it is THOSE women, I want to say -- GOD WILL and CAN heal.

In my most darkest and broken hearted days -I did NOT want to get out of bed.

I did not want someone to tell me it was going to be 'ok'...I WANTED it fixed and yesterday!

I was TIRED of praying and waiting.

I WANTED answers and I wanted to know - that all would be well.

And on many of those days - I wanted GOD to come from heaven and SMACK some people around - I did -- I wanted JUSTICE...what the hell did I do to deserve this hurt?

This world is broken.  This is not our home.  I never did anything to 'deserve' this...but I was/am a sinner and  mercy is for the just and the unjust.... God showed me mercy.  I needed HIS mercy.

Unfortunately -- the only one that could really help me  was God Himself and He was at work - I just could not SEE it.  So then comes the TRUST factor.

I was 44...almost 45.  I would of argued with you - I 'knew' Christ and trusted Him.

But I had NO CLUE.  After God allowed a revelation - it took 9  more months before I finally  -- really  -- allowed God to be MY EVERYTHING...NO MATTER what.  It was THEN...that God could begin a 'new' work within another.  I say 'new' work, cause I knew God was working all that time on him as well -- but, it was different now.  When we truly TAKE our hands OUT of the situation and TRUST God - and WALK in that trust...God will let us 'see' a bit into WHAT HE is doing.

Again, I have said this before - it takes time.  In the middle of my crisis of faith - I HATED God's timing...NOW....not so much.  In fact, I LOVE HIS perfect timing - so I say with a little experience -- wait for it - and trust.  Just TRUST.

So, today -- I got to pray with an older gentleman.  He accepted Christ for the first time.  He was well over 70.  The childlike FAITH in his eyes - is a look I will never forgot.  Last Sunday, I got to watch a 'younger' man accept Christ and the look in his eyes today as he was baptized - powerful.

So as I thought about these two events, the Holy Spirit reminded me of another rebirth....

It was about two years ago this month...that God allowed me to see a change in another person's life.   That other person was my husband.  He was beginning to believe that maybe...just maybe.... our family could be restored. He was beginning to believe that God could change a heart.

  It was 2 years ago this weekend  that we moved into our 'healing house'.  It was a home where God allowed me to see a man be reborn and God's 'slow' timing in this healing -- was HIS perfect blessing. And I was a recipient of that rebirth as a new love was formed.  

I say that as a reminder to myself...and to a woman I met today --

No matter what -- GOD can heal and restore.  God can and HE will.  HIS perfect will IS to restore a marriage.  It is.   We must be obedient.

No matter what the 'world' may say -- GOD hates divorce.  HE does.  As I told this woman, if there is physical abuse or a cause of fear for one's safety .....then GET OUT...but, God's will is to restore and to heal and redeem.

I could insert here MANY MANY MANY different %'s and statistics of marriages and what works and what does not -- but I could also copy/cut and paste at least 4 different testimonies right here of other couples that had IMPOSSIBLE situations  ( situations that make mine seem like a 'picnic') and God healed...GOD restored...and GOD redeemed and blessed.

They were obedient.  In some cases the wife waiting on the man.  In other's the man waiting on the women.  And even in one, they divorced and remarried 6 years later....amen.  God is creative.   God wins!

  God's will is to restore.  It just is.  THAT is HIS will.  HIS will is to have a man and a woman as ONE FLESH -- working together to be a union....to show the world HIS love for His church.   People just don't fall out of love.   Love is a verb - it is an action.

When they say 'I never loved you'...they are lying. When they say, 'they love another' - they are lying- that is not love  -- that is EGO and LUST.

 Hurting people hurt others and lie...they have to JUSTIFY what they are doing -- to make it seem 'ok'.  

 The Enemy is a liar and the enemy will make a person 'believe' that one never loved another....

        the enemy will make a person 'believe' that another will NEVER change....

   the enemy will make another believe that 'now they finally deserve someone better'........

     the enemy will continue to steal, kill and destroy -- cause he knows....WHAT God can do!

So with that, and with ALL assurance that GOD is CLOSE to the brokenhearted and HE will bind your wounds...I will say to you -- hang in there.....

But FIRST.....I had to get right with God.  I did know that Christ had died for my sins and I knew of HIS word...but I did not have a one to one relationship with God - where God /Jesus was my husband...my best friend....and the ONE I trusted.

Trusting is the first step.  Believing  in something that is unseen - is faith.

Lord, I pray for the beautiful woman that I had the pleasure to pray with today.  Lord, that she gets a GOOD night's rest but that she will awake with a supernatural peace surrounding her.  Lord, I pray for her husband - may all sin be revealed - may he come to realize that he too is a sinner and that he needs a saving touch - that he needs Jesus. Lord, there are children involved - hearts that are hurt that need comfort - interject Lord - I know you are RIGHT there  -- that they would see something within their mom -- YOUR Light and HOPE...  Lord, protect her thoughts - as the enemy is working HARD to discourage her and I pray that she will believe that our meeting today is by NO accident - that she will dig deep into your word, refresh her relationship with You and allow YOU to be the husband for the moment -- and that she would believe YOU are working on him as well.  In Jesus name, amen.

Lord, I am humbled- Hopeful...encouraged..and committed to believe YOU will do it again!  I will continue to pray for those  couples around us and believe that YOU are at work, YOU will open the eyes of the ones who are deceived, and YOU will restore the others...and give courage to the ones that MUST seek some professional and godly help -- I believe.  I believe,  YOU WANT for them -- WHAT I now have with my husband...new soul ties...new love... and revelations that there was LOVE all that time....the the wife of the youth...is HIS will...that the current wife is GOD's will.... that the two married -- should remain.   amen.   GOD....wash them all clean....God that the ones that are NOT in relationship with you - would be miserable...until they SEEK you and if You see fit to use Brendan or myself within this.....then do it and we promise to be faithful to the Holy Spirit as He speaks to us - in Jesus name..amen.michelle

Expecting #39 - FEAR

Celebrating our 27th Anniversary in the Keys! 

FEAR .....there may be a smile on my face, but this is AFTER I had a 'come to Jesus' meeting with my Heavenly Father....  Let me explain.

Fear -- the  Holy Spirit spoke quickly to me yesterday and I knew that today's post was to be about fear.  As I prayed and spoke to God this am....HE gave me many illustrations and memories of some very fearful times.

...like when I was in the hospital in Wisconsin, awaiting to see if my uncle would live - he had a heart attack outside the hall where my Grandparents were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary --
...like when I was in the barn and heard my mom scream - a blood curdling scream, as my 2 year old brother was caught under the manure spreader tires --
....like when I was holding down a 25x 18  foot metal door of a barn with my mom  as a tornado busted open and went through our farm -
...like when I was on the receiving end of a ti-raid by another and stuff went flying over my head --
....like when I awoke on the couch and remembered I had a baby ...that was crawling around our apartment and I had fallen asleep and 'forgot' about her --
...like when I sat in a waiting room as HP was being operated on to remove a lump in his throat --
...like when I was alone, in my room, in my bed,   and my entire 'world' as I saw it was destroyed and I knew that 'stuff' would never be the same -

more recently......like when I participated in an ACTIVE Shooter DRILL at my school and I was in the middle of the fire and even though it was a drill -- I felt and believed my life was going to end --

....and yesterday -- when my husband and I were in the kayak. and we had paddled out about 50 yards from  where we started,  and as we got closer to this area, he told me that he had to turn the kayak because he felt it was too tippy....as the waves of another boat were  heading for us and he was unsure how the kayak would handle it --
...  so we faced the waves coming in -- as we sat there for what seemed like HOURS....as we bobbled up and down and I prayed and prayed  and that FEAR grabbed me and I had to physically MAKE myself ...calm down.

 ---- It did not matter how I got there - I wanted to be SAFE on land within seconds.


I was fearful.  I was totally in the hands of my husband -- and his experience as a kid - growing up on the river and canoeing many times. I had been able to see the bottom of this water, but he reminded me that I may be seeing some 10-15  feet down, as he lowered his paddle into the water, he could not touch the bottom.
Mind you - I HAD mY life jacket on - but as I told him, it probably would not matter - I knew I was about to panic --  that FEAR had gripped me so.

Brendan quickly reminded me to stay calm and to trust him.  How could I do that?
I was calling on the name of Jesus.
Brendan waited for the waves to settle and then he turned the kayak around.
I continued to remind God I did not want to die.
Brendan then guided us  back and we paddled or kayak'd back towards 'home' and shallow water and I thanked God.

And I sat there -- it was for a brief moment where I had NO control.
The bottom line was just that -- I had NO control.
THAT was the fear.

I did some research on that famous FB photo or image about the fact that it says, "do no fear" 365 x in the bible  -- so once each day, we can be reminded that God says, do not fear.  However, that is NOT true.  It is only there 119x , some versions 80x.  If you add in a few other words like 'don't fear' and 'don't be afraid'...you can find it another 30x...  point being --

God said it once, "do not fear"...so that ONE time should be enough right?   Right.
Wrong.

No...Right!

Being fearful is NOT from God.  Fear comes from our lack of control...where we can't manipulate and fix stuff....so we become fearful and the enemy capitalizes on that.

Isaiah 41:10The Message (MSG)

^8-10 “But you, Israel, are my servant.
    You’re Jacob, my first choice,
    descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
    called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, ‘You’re my servant, serving on my side.
    I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.’
Don’t panic. I’m with you.
    There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
    I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

Being fearful is NOT from God.   I like the MSG version of this scripture - cause today, the DO NOT PANIC fits me perfectly.

But I did panic...for ...um....  30 seconds.
I had to rely on the man God gave me -- he reminded me that I would be Ok.  But his words did not bring me instant comfort.  I had to 'walk it out' myself.  I had to just stay focused on telling myself, I was going to be ok.


I don't mean to make light of this topic.  I am not.  I did not have control yesterday and I was fearful.
Today when I was asked if I wanted to go in the kayak again - I said, "no".  Today the water if very choppy and it is windy outside.....and I won't put myself in that spot again...I have control.


Today a mom is very fearful, she is worried that a man is going to do whatever he can to take away her son and prove that she is unfit.
Today a young woman is very fearful, she is far away from her family and has some tough decisions to make about her future and she wants answers - she does not want to be wrong.
Today a woman is struggling with the fact that she has the authority and power within her - because she is a daughter of the most high king...and yet..she has to rely on a pill to make her feel better.
Today another sister in Christ is wanting to be the best sister in Christ to others...but she needs to allow that control to be HIS control.  She won't give it up.
Today another sister in Christ is hurting so much, she does not believe she can make it one more day - the hurt from a loss is just too great and she just wants to head to heaven early.

Fear -- the verse says, that HE will hold you - with the firm grip of HIS right hand.
Walking out or LIVING with that head knowledge and not believing it...is the true test...is the 'walking on the water'....

Believing that no matter what - GOD's promises will not fail you -- that is living BEYOND the fear!
That is freedom.


I found this by Joyce Meyer:

Fear's Evil Scheme

“ God wants us to walk by faith, and Satan wants us to walk by fear. ”

Fear is a tool the devil uses against us to make us miserable and destroy our lives. It begins as a thought and then creates emotions that can rule us. It often becomes a strong, intense feeling that tries to move us to make a foolish action or tries to prevent us from doing something that would be good for us. Because it's such a common way that Satan attacks people's lives, I think of it as the master spirit he uses to manipulate people and keep them out of God's will.

Simply put, fear is the opposite of faith. God wants us to walk by faith, and Satan wants us to walk by fear. When we learn to live by faith and not let fear rule our life, we can live a fulfilling, satisfying, peaceful and joyful life in Christ.

Like I said before, fear begins with a thought. Proverbs 23:7 tells us that "as [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he" (NKJV). I like to say it like this: Where the mind goes, the man follows.

I had to have faith in my husband yesterday and I reminded my self over and over....he grew up on the water  -- I will trust him.   I also had to sit and wait on the waves to clear.  And then, I had to work with my husband and paddle back 'home'.  

The photo was taken as we were heading back in and close to 'home'.   When I got closer to the shallow water - my fear was totally calmed.  

Fear - my lack of control was real. 

Fear  - is also thoughts.... my thoughts as a child, my mom was fearful of the water and that transferred to me.   When she realized this, she got us swimming lessons to help with our fear - but it only intensified my fear,  as my instructor basically called me a baby and did not teach me -- I was 12. 

Thoughts....  When my kids were little, I placed them  with people that COULD swim, so that I knew the fear I had would not fall on them... they can swim. I can doggie paddle - in CLEAR, clean water. LOL.  My point is ....thoughts... fear begins with thoughts.  

We battle those thoughts with our SWORDS...HIS word.  

Isaiah 41:10New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This graphic...is true -- it lists the 80 places where God does say -- do not fear!!   Amen.