Please forgive me...

My sister and I  -- need more light!

This past weekend I experienced a tremendous, and life changing  meeting in St. Louis.  Not only was I with some dear friends and sisters in Christ but I was blessed to meet my own flesh and blood family there as well.   Joining others there in America's dome to praise our King - Jesus, in one accord.... I got a glimpse of heaven and its glory.  Trying to get seats in a block of seven was  difficult at times - but my sister managed to grab some good ones!

This trip was sort of a birthday get away,  planned some six-seven months ago,  it was anticipated and prayed for.  If I could of grabbed another 20 women I would of -- however, God knew exactly WHO would be there.   And God --  certainly left me -- wrecked.   Toby Mac has a song about the Holy Spirit and in the chorus it says, "I am wrecked".  I am.  I am humbled.   I knew this trip was going to be a trip that would forever change me, and yet - I had NO idea of the impact.   I want to live with that spirit or thought - that we are being changed from glory to glory! 

 God's Word says in 2 Cor 3.18:  But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

 I went expectant -- I wanted to have a fresh word from God, I wanted to be thrilled and in awe of the worship and I certainly wanted to be entertained as well.   And...   I got some extra blessings with family, friends, and then miracles that transpired.  God is so stinking sweet.  God won!

I want to stay focused in this blog to stay on course -- as God was writing this blog a few days ago.

Please forgive me.  Will I be able to actually use words to express this?  Lord - help me. 
Will some read this and go, "she is weird"?     Lord - help me. 
Will some read this and go, "I don't get her"?  Lord - help  Holy Spirit interpret. 

Ok - let me explain.   If you have read my blog before or know me well -- I admit, I am pretty passionate.  God made me that way.    Honestly, I pray that when people see or read my stuff, they truly believe I am a Jesus freak and  that I walk the walk I talk.  And  if you have read my blogs or follow me, you have read that God has been showing me something this past summer and I even admitted that I wrestled with Him as far as doing some assignments  that He has placed in my heart.   However,  this past weekend it all came together and made sense.

More confirmation.
More blessings.
More....    God gave me more pieces of the puzzle!   I am humbled.    It made sense! 

And, I have changed.   There has been a religious righteous anger in me that had become pride.....
I use the word "had" because I see now - it was something that God was working to DEATH in me so that He could continue to grow me and use me and FILL me more with HIM! 

God is so stinking sweet that HE revealed this to me in some very personal moments but also with such mercy.   He loves me THAT much.  As, who likes discipline?   Who wants to be corrected or scolded?  But God's discipline is necessary as we grow in HIM, I am just so thankful for His mercy!

To make a long story short -- almost 2 years ago, I prayed with another sister in Christ that Beth Moore would  be.... spirit filled and receive her prayer language.   I felt it was NEEDED.   I felt it HAD to happen.   As I know what having my prayer language has meant to me -- but I did fight  against it for 30+ years.   I think sometimes we get so passionate about HOW God has moved and worked within our lives ....we just want OTHERS to have it like we do.   And we want to bypass the struggle for others but indeed God has that planned or in line for that other one as well.  It must be God and them...not God and me and them.  ( Now, did that make sense?)

  And  I want God to do it NOW....we want God to do it NOW  ....when God has the better plan and God has the timing worked out.

 In WANTING something for another so bad at times - we can manipulate stuff and grieve Holy Spirit.  I just  want spiritual freedom for all I  encounter  -- and I want them to have 'this power'.    I did feel it was needed.   I did feel it was a must. 

 Let me share this:

Many non-believers and even some believers view the Holy Spirit ( HS )  as an impersonal force or concept that represents God or his presence.  But the Bible describes the HS in personal terms, not as a mere influence or spiritual power.  HS is a divine person - fully God.  In Acts 1.4 the apostles are instructed to wait to be baptized with the Holy Spirit.

Let's get the elephant in the room exposed:   I believe there is ONE God - ONE Holy Spirit and ONE Jesus and they create the Trinity.  We are to be eternally minded and salvation is a gift, not earned as we accept Jesus into our hearts and allow Him to fill us.   Without faith it is impossible to please God , His mercy triumphs justice, and by His Grace nothing is impossible with HIM as HE works through us! 

At one point this past weekend, Joyce Meyer's held up the bible and made a simple statement, "let's just address the elephant in the room, its time we stop allowing division, we are  to be the BRIDE of Christ - there will be no divisions in heaven for the Catholics or the Baptists or the Bapticostals or whatever labels you have given yourself.   I hold fast to this Word of God and do believe in all the gifts the Lord promises us.  But I want ALL of whatever God has for me- period.  I want ALL He has for me!" 

Me and Pinocchio!

To have two of the most influential bible teachers and women  of God that have spent the past 25-35 years impacting the Kingdom of God in ONE arena..... in one place.....and to be in agreement --was indeed answer to prayer.

 It was phenomenal .

 Unbelievable .

Blessed beyond belief.

It was God ordained!


Then Christine Caine spoke -- and voiced her opinion on the baptism in the Holy Spirit.  I  was raised with the knowledge that Jesus died for my sins.   I believed and accepted that.  I did not know that I could have a personal relationship with God and Jesus until I was a teen.  I acknowledged that God was indeed God for most of my adult life -- but I know that I did not FALL in love with  God and  placed my trust in God until I was 45 ... at an Encounter with God weekend in Titusville back in 2011.

 Up until then, I do believed I loved God in the capacity to which I could.     That is a big statement -- to the capacity of which I could.   Until then I know my prayers were heard  as around the  24th year of my life I got on the roller coaster of trusting God and I would ebb and flow on and off that roller coaster of life.   I  would seek God for a season and then the world.  Then back on the coaster and ride high with Jesus and then stepped off again as my heart became more hard to a true relationship with God.   I had faith, hope, and love but I allowed idols to begin to become MORE  and more important than God's Word.  God wanted MORE of me. 

 And I was a very good actress!  How many around me are doing the same?   Are you a good actress? 

Selfie attempt when we arrived!! 

When everything fell, God picked me up and began to rebuild me.  And, in that season - having my prayer language gave me comfort and confidence that I could pray without Satan hearing me.

 God rebuilt me, but in these past months,  as I said,  I believe God has been working a death in me again,  so that HE could fill me back up with MORE grace to do His work.   At America's Dome, I felt myself stating:   "How dare I think that God could not 'work' through Beth whether she had her prayer language or not!!"    And, "why do you think that God can't do WHAT He wants?".  And as I wrested with God on this subject - God graciously showed me where I must repent so that this spiritual pride would be nipped in the bud.  Thank you God.   I repented.  And God literally did some Holy Surgery on me Sunday night -- again, that could ONLY of been God.  ( I will explain Sunday night in another blog - if you are interested! )

So, my prayer this evening is quite personal -- but I am being obedient.  As I am in the preparations right now to take a group of women to Titusville again and I want ONLY He -- God to get the glory, be the glory, and heal with His glory -- this is not about a gift that I believe is important -- it is about what GOD wants to do -- heal, restore, and redeem.   It is about God doing some holy surgery in each woman that participates.   It is about His will being done, here as it is in heaven!   And, we don't want to grieve the Holy Spirit - but have Him present and guiding us as He is the teacher and His anointing is what will make the changes in hearts.

Lord, first of all - thank you SO much for the ability to attend this conference, enjoy my Florida family, get to know Kathy, Denise, and Darlene is such a better way.   And for the Wisconsin family that joined us as well.  You totally orchestrated that and I am thankful for my sister's ( Diann's) obedience to You as she invited my mom to join she and Tiffany.  

  Lord, I sit here and just marvel at HOW you moved, HOW your orchestrated and HOW you were there right with me.   And how you were with each of them as well!!   Lord, HOW you have the ability to make me think and feel and believe that YOU orchestrated the  weekend just for me.   I don't mean to sound arrogant or prideful, but at practically every moment,  when I got out of my head and allowed YOU in there -- it felt like even though 22K women  were there to attend as well -- it seemed like the entire weekend was JUST for me.   You met me there so personally.   And yet, I know that I know you did that for the lady sitting to my left and to my right.  And you did that for each and every one there WHO wanted MORE of you!   You are indeed a sweet and good good father.   And I believe You orchestrated that weekend just for my mom as well.  Lord, the blessing of knowing she accepted You and recited the sinner's prayer was just the icing on the cake of the weekend.   Each and every detail of those four days was beyond belief and I praise You, Holy Father, as we took confidence from Your Word ..whenever two or three are gathered in Your name...Amen! 

But now Lord, as you already know my heart as I have confessed this to you already -- thank you for being so gentle and sweet with me as you placed that prideful righteous religious anger to death in me and opened up my heart for more of YOU.   Thank you for blessing me with the ability to hear from you and see you at work.  Thank you for reminding me gently that YOU indeed HAVE it.   Forgive me Lord, as I know you knew the condition and desire of my heart so my intentions were good but now I clearly see how YOU want to raise me up and call me to NEW heights...NEW assignments and NEW things.  

Lord for the past the the enemy wants to shove in my face...even when mistakes were made -- You knew the intention of my heart and YOU covered me.  I praise YOU for that.  And I don't take it lightly, but Your GRACE is sufficient and I know that with this new revelation knowledge ...indeed..YOU can do MORE through me and I will teach and share it with others, as You have given me some good assignments - but OH God... I know where my strength comes from - it comes from YOU. 

Forgive me Lord for thinking and believing that Beth "had" to have her prayer language  and if she did -- she could "THEN" do more for you -- now, as I even type this confession....I can clearly see how that was being immature in thinking.    

 Forgive me Lord, for the others I have judged that 'needed more'....Lord, cover me -- in my zeal and passion for You I pray that I won't manipulate anything when it comes to YOU Lord.    I am humbled Lord, that You wish to continue to use me for YOUR purposes.   I pray I won't fail you.  

Forgive me Lord, if I have allowed or pushed something on someone when Your timing was not right -- when I tried to manipulate.    Forgive me Lord, and continue to rebuild me.  Lord,  You are Lord -- Lord, You are sovereign and Lord -- I want ALL You have for me -- I confess my  arrogance and my anger and I give it to you.  Lord for the ones that read this - I pray that it will make sense and it will relate to them as well.  I pray they won't make the same mistakes.   I pray, as when I read anothers story or heart on how YOU are working in their lives.....I can see myself and I 'fix' it before I make the same mistake...so I pray that this prayer, this confession would indeed be for another and that it would give grace to another .....and it would make sense to another and it would push her closer to YOU Lord.   

And if not -- that is OK too.   You know the fear I had in typing this blog.   You understand my need for approval and YOU know exactly WHAT comes next.    Lord, as I edit this today -- I lay here in awe of YOUR presence.  You really DID spare us yesterday ....with Matthew wobbling a bit to the east -- it saved lives...it saved our Insurance claims...  it was indeed an act of MERCY on my community and my children.   Tears overwhelm me... I don't deserve this -- and yet... YOU did this NOT only for me but for ALL your children!   

And Lord, I thank you for my sister's in Christ -- for those YOU use to sharpen me.   I ask for a blessing upon Kathy, Denise, and Darlene who love me for just being me...and I ask a blessing on my MOM, my sister and my sister in Love...who love me for just being me... and I thank you for Mary this am as well...as she posted something on FB this am...  Matthew 10. 7 says this, " Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near".......  You are very near... I believe I will see you face to face soon.   I don't believe my children will have to plan my life celebration ( funeral) ....  But I also fear YOUR Bride is not quite ready...   God I pray YOU will continue to use me - for YOUR Kingdom purposes.   

May the one  WHO read this to the end... May you bless her or him as well ...and may they seek you today and ask YOU what needs to be repented of ...so that YOU can use them as well.   IN Jesus name.  I am humbled and oh  oh   oh so  so so grateful.   

You are indeed a good good Father!  
- michelle 

You might be a HERO.

Hebrews 11 speaks about the heroes of faith.  The Message Bible, Hebrews 11. 1-2 says, the fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.  It's our handle on what we can't see.  The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. 

Heroes are people of Substance.

----Because of faith... there were ancestors that skipped death -
  because of faith...they .....  - pleased God
-built a massive ark in the middle of dry land
-traveled to places unknown
-reached into the future and blessed their descendants
-celebrated the Passover
-welcomed spies and escaped destruction
-toppled kingdoms
-won battles
-routed enemies
-received their loved ones back from the dead
-kept their eyes on the eternal......and the list can go on.

  I am  just using a list from Girls with Swords on pg. 39... 

I want to be that kind of Hero!


We had an excellent night again with Girls with Swords.  Monday, there were two lessons that I can listen too and read over and over.   Heroes and Battlegrounds.   The Cross.

The battleground = our lives.   Look up Ephesians 6.12 - write it out....memorize it.  That is our battleground. 
We don't wrestle again flesh and blood -- but .... spiritual warfare....etc.   That was a powerful reminder as we place our WHOLE armor on and know that we are over comers.

However, the Hero part still has me thinking.

I know many women today -- that have celebrated 'passover' and have been passed over and escaped death --
I know several that have routed enemies - enemies of addiction and pride-
I know several that have spoken life into their children and their children serve God - 
I know a several that have won battles -
I know one that has beaten cancer -
I know one that has a redeemed marriage -
I know one that has had a physical healing -
I know one that has given up all 'anxiety drugs' and has peace and joy with Him -
I know several women that are building a massive ark of refuge within their homes ...believing that the flood of grace and mercy will come back within their men!  
I know a dear few that have received their loved ones back from the dead - a spiritual death....
I know even more that keep their eyes on the eternal -
I know several who have traveled to places unknown ....and returned to share HIS joy and Word -
***

I may not have marched around Jericho 7x but I have walked around a trailer and claimed victory over a situation  and have seen it come into fruition.
I may not have welcomed a spy into my home, but I did allow a stranger back in and I was rewarded for it.
I have not crossed the Red Sea on dry land  but I know what it is like to walk and see something totally dead come back to life.
I have not toppled a Kingdom, but I have battled and won a war with the enemy who wanted my marriage.
I have not turned from an angry earthly king .....but I have turned away from the world to obey God!

Hero.

Lord God, I pray that YOU see in me a HERO - I pray I take risks.  I pray I live as a stranger among this land.  Lord, I pray I have an attitude that blesses you.  Lord, I pray that there would be no comparisons or competition but that I would strive to be YOUR utmost best and that I serve you 'to the hilt'.  I pray I am brave with You.  I pray there is more within me to do more for You - Lord, use me.   Lord, for the one reading this -- I pray that she or he will also recite this prayer and seek you -- and ask you -- give YOU permission to come and use them as a hero for You.  Your champion...You conquer as when we are with you - nothing is impossible.  - Michelle

And Lord, I pray for that dear one reading this -- that needs to HOLD on 5 minutes longer.....and then she will see her miracle.  I pray for the dear one that has been holding for the past 10 years....and still she smiles and believes that YOU are with her.  I pray for the dear one who messed up royally recently but she is taking the belief that YOU will bring beauty out of her ashes - she has given them to you.  I pray for the one that continues to weave back and forth on that roller coaster of life -- she loves you but has not fallen in LOVE with you -- she has not crossed over and she knows she should...she knows she has to .....but for whatever reason Lord, she hasn't....  And I pray for that new one - that little one, that she grows in You and does not allow the enemy to sway her BIG decision and for that precious one -- that knows that she knows...she is beating a dead horse - but she is holding onto something -- give her the strength to LET it go - and believe that YOU have something more for her ...... God, in heaven -- for the one that needs to see YOU break the arm of the evil on -- do it for her today -- let her see YOU bring all justice ...that YOU can take care of it, that she DOES not need to seek revenge- may she see her life eternally and get beyond this temporary state - God, YOU have MUCH to do today - but I know  - you answer - amen.  


   
If you would like to JOIN us for Girls with Swords -- you are STILL welcome -- we will continue on this study for 2 more Mondays -- message me for details. - Michelle 

And The Cross - that is for the next blog -- !!    

Expecting #29 -- Obedience - updated.

Ok, so I have been thinking all day about WHAT exactly the Holy Spirit wanted me to share about this topic and I believe it is just this....

BE obedient.

Let me explain:

Today, when I wrestled with God and the Holy Spirit - praying and communicating back and forth, I hit several DEAD ENDS.  Or ....well....I felt like I wanted to say, "I give up Lord! "

I am really tired and there is  a LONG list to pray for -- and many of them are failed relationships, marriages that need a miracle, or boyfriend /girlfriend stuff that needs to just STOP.   And I felt like I hit a 'wall'.  I no longer knew WHAT to say - WHAT to believe  ...as I wanted to just give up.

I prayed.   I worked.  I read.
I prayed in my Spirit - as THAT is what I know I am to do, according to Eph. 6.18.
I prayed more.  I veged out and watched some mindless TV, and then I headed to church.

Obedience....knowing that WHEN I need GOD and a fresh word  -- I can seek a community of believers that will LOVE on me, listen to me, and give me a new perspective.

Obedience -- heading to church, when I really would rather just vege on the couch and disappear.

Obedience -- reminding another sister in Christ that she can't change 'him' but can change herself.
Obedience -- being asked to help  and  then doing that to help serve.
Obedience -- when the Pastor stated he needed more volunteers to serve, I knew I was to go and connect with him ...no longer using the EXCUSE that I 'teach' all day and want to be 'fed' at church.  LOL

Obedience. Obedience brings rewards -- blessings.
You can see an obedient faithful warrior -- there is fruit.  Galatians and Ephesians.....

And I sought out a sweet sister in Christ and expressed my frustrations.  She listened.  She encouraged.
And basically -- WHEN WE TRY to figure out God...and when we try to HOLD God in a box...we are limiting God. As she stated, 'when it seems so impossible - THAT is when God swoops in and amazes us'....So I must wait - patiently, prayerfully, and believe that when a situation looks so hopelessly dim....HE is there and HE changes it!

I don't want to limit God.  But.... I found that in my spirit - I 'needed' to know -- or I wanted SOME good answers ....as my Pastor said this evening, "I want to WIN, God!"

I can look back at my own life and marriage and KNOW that God wins -- but I wanted it to WIN for her this eve.

I want her to feel less pain - I want her to see something within her husband that she does not see - and maybe just maybe, the love that is lost would be rekindled - I want him to FIGHT for her -- seek counsel - BE WILLING to change.... we all change ...we must be willing to change too -- I want her to understand and realize that she is allowing the pills to dictate her feelings - I want her to apologize - I want him to get caught and stop this insanity - I want them to seek counsel - I want her to believe in herself and not try to use others to get that affirmationI want them to be SO in LOVE with Jesus ..that they will WANT to seek Him...I want her to see the potential within herself and just drop all the crud and crap and be free of it...and just start over - I want her to hold on and yet...send his sorry butt to the cleaners and divorce him - yep - I said that -- I want ...I want ....I want....  can you hear the list within my conversation -- as my sweet sister In Christ stated, "we must lay it at the cross".    I apologized to God...as my 'need' or 'idol' to fix things and understand WHAT to do and WHEN is something that I can't do ....I MUST GIVE IT to GOD -- always.  
And then the song..."there is hope in front of me".  "I might be down but I 'm not dead".....HOPE....  OBEDIENCE -- as for each of those situations -- may each person involved and the ones I did not mention -- may they SEEK GOD and be OBEDIENT TO WHAT HE says to do....as THEN a blessing will come...rewards will flow....stuff will get fixed and healed....and stuff won't need to be prayed for -- as there will be answers...amen.  

Obedience, my Pastor reminded me the power is in my sword...HIS WORD that I have hidden within my heart.

Obedience -- I refer back to this often, but it is a mile marker -- a stone in the river... standing tall to remind me of HOW far we have come --  "I will not forsake you!"   "show grace and mercy" and " I can be trusted".

Obedience -- seeking God for EVERYTHING within His will.

Many continue to have problems with this word -- as it is pride.  When you can't submit to a Spiritual Authority and follow what a mentor or counsel has advised....  you are not being obedient. When you can't sit in a community of believers and place trust within your Pastor -- it is very hard  to trust God!

When you are asked to complete a task and it is not done ...you are not being obedient.


I want to be obedient.
I went to church this eve and fell in love with God all over again as I worshiped in song -- I felt HIS Presence mightily!
And of course - Ps. D came through with a word that cut to the core -- it is time to GROW UP!

I admire the fact that he is willing to be transparent -- God shines through his teaching -- but he also claimed the Word himself....we ALL must rise up and be HOLY...time is short.  "THIS is not a dress- rehearsal - we only get one life - grow up!"  

We are not in a dress rehearsal...we are in the LAST days.  We need to grow up  ( topic of tomorrow's blog ) and we must be a warrior -- weary warrior - ready for battle.

It is time for us to memorize HIS Word and hide it within our heart.
It is time to USE HIS Word to fight out battles.
It is time to make sure we have a daily bible reading plan or set time -- so that God is our priority!

Lord,  this is simple -- for ALL the couples I wanted ANSWERS for today -- they are at your feet.
You went to the Cross - You were obedient - we will follow Your lead as well.  I have NO clue Lord, should they stay or leave...should they seek divorce....or should they wait longer?    Lord, for all the boyfriends and girlfriends - may they remain pure and clean before you and take the necessary steps to work out of that stronghold!  And Lord, the new stuff and some of the old stuff that continues to float in and out of my FB account or  text messages.  BUT...I don't have to have the answers...I don't HAVE to hear from you - as I know YOU are here and YOU are helping. ( But throw me a new bone...I need some encouragement!)   Lord, I am tired...but I know that I know -- YOU are getting the glory or will GET the GLORY!   Lord, I trust you and I will obey in everything You ask of me.  I won't grow battle weary -- I will grow stronger!  - IN Jesus name, Amen.

Expecting #28 - IDOLS

 God is so perfect.  As I have stated, the Holy Spirit gave me 7 topics with which to blog about right after the Encounter Weekend.  And When God commissions one to do something, I know that I know - HE provides EACH and every piece and provision.

So, yesterday, when HE knew my time would be limited -- HE has Lisa Bevere post this on Instagram which I did a snapshot of.

Volleyball game, first day after a 3 day holiday, and the 'second' academic week of school had my mind in a flurry.  Last night as I ate some dinner, I marveled and thanked God on how creative and faithful HE was.  However....I was unable to get this posted last night ( Tuesday ) because of my own 'idol'.

"PROCRASTINATION"....sometimes this is still like a thorn in my side.  I won't share what I HAD to get done first and 'then' I could blog....but, I  knew that when my husband headed to bed - the computer time was DONE.

Again, God is faithful and the Holy Spirit has such a gentle way to correct me when I need it.

So, Idols........

I know for FAR TOO LONG....many things were my idol.  When Lisa mentioned affirmation as an idol....check.
When Lisa mentioned  strength....check.
When Lisa mentioned popular opinion....check.
When Lisa mentioned our husbands ....double check.

No need to get all into it - as if you know me, I have written about this before.  Heck, this 'blog' can even become an idol if I am not careful....

Where do I get my strength from?  ....now.... God.
Where do I draw my attention to? .....now...God.

Where do I GIVE my strength to?....now ....God.
But I am thankful that when and if... ( as I know I am not perfect ) I get out of balance again -- I can go right back to my Savior and seek HIM for the proper balance.

Many of the women that went to the Encounter -- need to get rid of idols within their hearts.  Many of them ( like me ) have placed a human...a man, a husband, or a boyfriend where Jesus needs to be.

As I pray today, I pray that each of those women, and anyone reading this, will SEEK God and ask - WHAT do I draw my strength from?
WHAT do I give my strength to?

Lord, I pray for this blog, that it will be received with its intended heart....to help another SEE what is an idol within her heart....and God I pray that she or he -- makes it right with you and from this point on, YOU will be their IDOL.  In Jesus name, AMen.  

 Homework:  Reflect today -- Lord, what have I placed as an idol above you?  Could it be my children?  Could it be my past?  Could it be my work.... ?

Expecting #25 - Facebook / Social Media

Ok, here we go.

Facebook - social media - Snapchat - Linkin In - Instagram - text messaging - sexting - cyber bullying
etc. etc. etc. etc

I was challenged a month or so ago by a dear sweet sister in Christ that stated - to just spend AS much time in God's word  as you did on Facebook and then post it -- become accountable.  We can 'add up' all the time one spends on FB - as it posts time and dates -- can we post how long is spent reading God's Word?

The 'new messenger facebook app' ....I have seen about 4-5 video warnings on FB about not downloading it - whoops - too late.  Did it.

I have seen a few stake claim and declare they WOULD never allow Messenger to be on their phone and today I saw local news time on the TV reporting on it.

John 8.12 says:   " I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life".

Quite frankly -- I am over it.

I am not too worried about BIG Brother ...and being stalked on FB.  I am more 'worried' about people that continue to use FB as a way to disrespect their children, their spouses and their selves.  

FB like all the other social media things...are an escape mechanism -- to live and read about another and take your mind off your own life.

Like alcohol or pleasure drugs.... it is a way to escape and for many - it become their reality.

FB was instrumental in a person contacting me  -- and this person spoke life into me -- when I needed it. So...I will always be a bit partial to the application.

FB is a way for me to actually SEE what some of my family is up too - as we no longer call each week, send photos across the mail box, or even see each other as now -- their lives are so busy with their own children.

FB today blessed me - as my Aunt was able to post a video of my Grandma and my cousin and I got to be RIGHT there.

FB allows me to message a person privately -- and encourage them or get them a message -- thus 'messenger' application is NOT that bad.

And...quite frankly --   I am going to cover it in blood...NOTHING comes into my path that God has not already known about -- so,  I am going to pray that we - I am - protected.

I am claiming God's protection.  I don't see what the big deal is....

I am more worried about  what is happening oversees with  ISIS, human sex trafficking, and the fact that people are more consumed about being politically correct than being morally right.  

But I am NOT going to be stupid ....  you can change privacy settings very quickly -- You can make sure that ONLY your friends see your stuff and you can make sure that only the ones you want to read a post will see it.

I don't think FB is trying to control us - it is just another way -- to communicate and of course ...Satan can get into anything and mess it up.

As far as the Messenger app -- it seems to me that some should be more worried about what Jesus says in Chapters 14-16 of the book of John  or read the book of Galatians....  to me ...THAT is more of something to be concerned about.

And get this....you can delete or inactive your account...YOU do not have to be friends with a person that is driving you nuts.

It is what it is...

To me...it is just another way for people to put blame on something else...rather than themselves.

Maybe they ARE spending TOO much time on FB and it has become an Idol.
Maybe they post EACH and every emotion on their FB.... and after awhile ....we ignore -- kind of like the story of 'crying wolf'...

But maybe ...FB encourages you and teaches you something new.
Maybe FB blesses you because you get to catch up with a childhood classmate and laugh a few laughs.
And Maybe FB is one way another gets ahold of you -- and that person speaks into your life  -- and you know that you know -- what God has told you to do -- is being confirmed.

Just saying.

But it is not just FACEBOOK - what else is consuming your time?
...watching TMZ on the computer or TV
...watching several different soap operas each day or 'dramas' that are just soap operas at night
...watching a show that you must then find Season 1, 2 and you have to go to NETFLIX to find other past episodes
...spending time on the phone - with a friend - daily when other stuff needs to be done...
.....maybe being so obsessed with a certain football team that everything gets lost ...?

The list could go on --  and please -- I am speaking to MYSELF on this one.
Since my friend challenged me -- I have been paying attention as to how much time I am on FB compared to reading my bible ....and she was right - I was lopsided...

Changing that... Changed that!

I don't claim to know it all - I just know that the Holy Spirit wanted me to address FB and the issue of Social Media -- we must make sure it is NOT an idol and it does not dictate us.

If you are easily offened by a person's post - delete them - prayerfully.
Messenger is NOT that bad....seriously -- I reset my privacy settings and I am not being tracked - at the moment....

But even if I was or could be...don't you see ....this is must MORE of prophesy coming to life...
At the end of our God Encounter Weekend, the women gave a short testimony about WHAT God had done for them that weekend.

The Holy Spirit spoke to me and one lady shared her heart and afterwards -- I knew God had more to say to us through her...so I told her, "God has a word for us, and He is going to use you to share it!".

I knew that I knew HE would, HE was, and HE was going to use her.... having the Holy Spirit as my best friend - HE tells me stuff.  HE is trustworthy.

John 14:16The Message (MSG)The Spirit of Truth^15-17 “If you love me, show it by doing what I’ve told you. I will talk to the Father, and he’ll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can’t take him in because it doesn’t have eyes to see him, doesn’t know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!

Later - she shared.   You see -- THAT is what the Holy Spirit does for us...for me...and that is not all.  There are more gifts from Him!   So,  She testified that she was unsure about the Word from God...but as she prayed, she clearly got 4 words...

With tears and with the greatest heartfelt and humbled emotion - she said - God gave her 4 words, "forgive, repent, praise, coming soon "  ...  We must forgive, repent and praise HIM for - HE is coming soon.

And so therefore, until God tells me to get off FB and not use Messenger...I will use it for HIS good - to get HIS word out....but...HIS word will be read more often...

And with that - I will always question myself and recheck - to make sure NOTHING becomes an idol !

And with that....  when we are so full of Christ and HIS word...and that becomes our priority -- we won't FEEL the need to post a status and get our needs or feelings stroked by FB...  as we will be whole and healthy...in HIM.


And then we can use FB for fun and silly stuff .... instead of tearing another apart on it...

IN Jesus name, Amen.

Lord, I am so thankful for the women and /or friends that are on my list....that continue to speak life, encourage and make me laugh -- may this blog prayer speak to the heart that needs to re-evaluate their FB usage and may it speak to the one who needs to be in  a church tomorrow -- seeking God's FACE through hugs and smiles of other believers...may they be filled with HIM - not social media.  IN Jesus' name...amen.  

 ^{Galatians:  6: 14-16} For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!

¹⁷ Quite frankly, I don’t want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more important things to do—the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body scars from my service to Jesus.

¹⁸ May what our Master Jesus Christ gives freely be deeply and personally yours, my friends. Oh, yes!

Expecting #24 - ONE notch above cautious....

Today -- August 30, 2014.  As I stated with my last few blog/prayers -- the Holy Spirit gave me 7 topics with which to write about.  7 is a perfect number.  And GOD did this for me, cause He knew I would be in recovery.  If you read this on a regular basis, you know I was a part of a team of women that walked WITH God and His mercy to Titusville where 27 women got some freedom last weekend. Exactly one week ago - about this time, I was showered  ( 6am ) and preparing to be on my way to Publix to pick up the 'celebration cake' when God spoke and clearly gave me insight into the day and how it would transpire. 

 The next morning, Sunday, the HS spoke again and directed the events on Sunday.  I say that - to say this...the HS continues to lead and guide me.  And as I spoke to the women last Sunday, I advised them to allow the HS to keep them in 'recovery' until they were ready to received visitors -- just like in the hospital.  The first few days....the first week after a God Encounter Weekend is critical ...as the Enemy comes back stronger and ready to steal back what Jesus clearly reminded everyone to leave at the Cross.  

With that being said, I too was attacked and knew -- God had me.  Exodus 14.14.  I do not claim to be some know it all.  I don't want anyone to 'do what I did' or 'do what I said'.....I want that woman to seek God...to know that she knows...she is following God's divine plan.  Praying with sisters in Christ, seeking godly counsel is all a part of that - but when it comes down to decision making  --- I will stand before God and give an account for me....

And I know, because I was placed in a position of Spiritual Authority for that weekend - I will give an account for THAT....

But as for our day to day lives....praise God that I am NOT the SAVIOR or that it is NOT my responsibility to 'save' another....as they will stand before God themselves and give their account.  

So, enough of me 'explaining'....this is #6 of HIS topics -- waiting on God.  

And I went back to August of 2011 when I posted a blog called, "one notch above cautious"  -- as I was blessed by reading it, I pray now - that the intended readers will also hear God through this blog.  It is a LONG one today - grab coffee or tea...read it in parts...but I pray it will explain how to wait on God.   - michelle 

 August 2011
It is funny -- no it is God's timing that today I just sort of 'went' one notch about cautious. What does that mean? Well, for so long there has been a trial, a problem, an event, or just a big old plain elephant in the room. So many things, events, people, and just STUFF involved. One goes through SO many emotions that you almost become RAW at one point and then HARD and vow NEVER to be hurt like that again, and then you really RE-evaluate and think -WHAT DO I want? What I wanted -- more of God. I wanted to be in the CENTER of HIS will and I wanted to hear those prophetic words, "well, done my good and faithful servant Michelle".

So choices had to be made.

James 1.12 says: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Blessed is the woman, hurt, that perseveres under trial, because when she has withstood the test, she will receive the crown of life that GOD has promised to those who LOVE HIM.

Blessed is Michelle . . it is hard to sometimes really believe that GOD loves me as much as HE loves Jesus. It is hard to wrap my mind around it.

And so, I have been cautious with my heart. I am cautious, I have good reason. But, when I really reflect and think -- I broke God's heart too. I loved HIM but I really did not WANT HIM . .nor did I really understand HOW to love HIM the way I was suppose to, nor did I understand HIS true grace and mercy. But now . . .I believe I can say that I have experienced HIS grace and mercy and so therefore, I must give it. Period.

To give grace and mercy .. sometimes it takes extreme patience. Patience is to have the ability to endure, but it does stop there. Patience must also have the capacity to be wronged and not retaliate. In other words, patience is love persevering and love waiting. We are not only to be patient in the way we face difficult situations but in our relatioinships as well. Easy to say, HARD to LIVE.

Job Stood firm.

I remember the day I had a revelation -- God loves me like HE did JOB. God has allowed this trial in my life .. this journey .. this hurt . .because HE wants to see if MICHELLE will stand firm. I chose that. I have. I tired. I failed but I tried again. I choose this each day I wake up.

And with that, I have become cautious. People say and act a certain way . . .but sticking around long enough and listening and watching sometimes shows one's true heart. That is why, I would say . .I am one notch . above cautious.

God's restoration power is at work, God's healing is at work, but it is not complete as of yet. The smile on my face, praises GOD for the glorious miracles I see and hear and witness, but I realize the ENEMY is still fighting mad and won't stop! Together, and I am claiming this ..together, my husband and I can defeat the Enemy's schemes for our family and friends and I am so anxious to watch how God brings this about. I am believing that we, both, together can make a difference for HIS Kingdom and I want that. And I believe that God will reveal even more to my husband and do a migthy miracle with everything we have encountered and endured.

Every trial must come through HIS love but every trial has a purpose. Every pain, every ordeal contains a seed of victory and there is a promise for every problem you and I will ever face. 

Scripture says: " The Lord is my strength, my shield from every danger, I trust in HIM with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy." Psm. 28.7

Patience pays off in many ways, but one of the greatest rewards of patience is joy, a deeply - rooted confidence that God is in control.

I can say, this deeply rooted confidence. . that God is in CONTROL . .won't be shaken from me - ever . . .HE will do what HE says HE will do.

Today -- August 30, 2014
God has healed MANY of those concerns and so forth that I implied about in the above blog.  My husband and I are healed and together we share our story when HE says to -- we pray for couples and individuals when HE says we are  and when HE brings their names or hearts to our minds.  I believe that my husband and I are doing our part....to make a difference within HIS Kingdom as we both know and are aware that we will stand before God and we both want to hear - 'well done my faithful servants'.  That motivates us -- That moves us -- that keeps us HUMBLE!  

Waiting on God is HARD. 
Waiting on God can suck. 
Waiting on God is what HE is asking us to do. 
If you are not hearing from God to 'move' or 'change this'...then HE Is telling you clearing to WAIT on HIM and be STILL.  

Being still is HARD.
Being Still can suck.
Being Still is what is asking us to do - so often but we try to manipulate and move God....that is not what waiting is.  

Waiting is not getting that pizza from Dominos, putting it in your car and then while at the stoplight sneaking a bite - which BURNS your lips...

Waiting is not being on the highway and you notice a detour sign but you decide that the construction  people JUST put it there and the road would STILL Be open.... until you find yourself stopped with no road to take....

Waiting is not sitting at a 4 way stop and deciding to go first rather than yield to the right....

Waiting is hard....it can be the MOST painful time of your life ...but if you are waiting on God - trust that the outcome will be BEYOND what you can imagine.  


Many times, I go back to blogs I wrote in 2010 - 2011....and just revel in what God has done in my life...there is a record of the hurt - yes - but there is MORE glory than hurt now...and it speaks volumes as I go back and read.  

I have always tried not to spew the HURT too much ....as I realize  - lives - real lives are touched and maybe rehurt ....but I also know that one needs to see - there is HOPE  and there is redemption and that GOD does heal.  

So often - we just don't wait.  



Heavenly Father - for my BB ...for my sisters in Christ...for the one released this week, for the  one who spoke life into my life for many years and hurt my flesh...for the ones reading this that have NO clue of whom I am....God...that each of them, would read and see...waiting on YOU...obeying YOU...is what YOU have called them to do ....

God, that they would open their bibles and get their own word from YOU....that they would wait.  God - only YOU can heal - only YOU can save...and ONLY your HS can comfort them now -- I love you Lord,  I grow to love and trust you MORE each day and with every new trial or blessing - I stand in awe of your Presence.  YOU are indeed my best friend and my love and Lord, thank you for the husband I have now.... He has been the covering I have needed this past week - and God submitting to his counsel and knowing he walks and talks with you daily -- is the most gracious gift and loving gift.  As through marriage -- as this was your intention -- through marriage we are to reflect the relationship between Jesus ....and His bride...we are the bride of Christ...when Jesus presents 'us' to You... well.... that will be glory.   My human brain can't quite  put its finger on it...but -- it is good - Thank you Lord, thank you for giving my BB a special man as well...bless him Lord ...in Jesus name, amen. 

Expecting #23 -- prayerfully walking not emotional walking....

Psalms 149.4  - The Lord delights in his people -- you -- he crowns the humble with victory. 

Ecclesiastes 7.9 - Control your temper; for anger labels you a fool.  

Galatians 5 The Message (MSG)

The Life of Freedom.5 Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.^4-6 I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.^7-10 You were running superbly! Who cut in on you, deflecting you from the true course of obedience? This detour doesn’t come from the One who called you into the race in the first place. And please don’t toss this off as insignificant. It only takes a minute amount of yeast, you know, to permeate an entire loaf of bread. Deep down, the Master has given me confidence that you will not defect. But the one who is upsetting you, whoever he is, will bear the divine judgment.
^13-15 It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?^16-18 My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?^19-21 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.^22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

True freedom -- being able to walk in freedom and know that you know God has you in HIS hands --------------and no matter what -- HE will make things right.  

Prayerfully walking - rather than emotional walking in that freedom.  

Seeking help -- Seeking counsel.  

Coming under spiritual authority.

These are ALL phrases and thoughts spinning in my head right now.  On Monday the Holy Spirit awoke me and gave me a list of topics for this blog/prayer.  Tonight - the one needed -- is walking it out -- prayerfully.  

I can only speak of my own situation -- but when the Lord allowed a major heartache to be revealed, I sat back and got angry and mad.  And I had a few ugly months where I destroyed physical things and if you were close - you got an earful.  I spewed to some that I NEVER should of opened up to.   But I was VERY careful not to spew it out on Face Book or to ALL...I choose a few close friends.   Somehow I just knew...if my marriage would be restored - there would be much I would have to correct ...and if we did not make it through...no matter what -- that man was the father to my children.  I was NOT going to stand before God and have God look at me and say, "michelle, why did you NOT do what I asked?".  

That was the motivation for showing grace and mercy -- cause THAT is what God clearly had said to me.  

 God actually brought me a few new friends -- that knew NOTHING about me....and that was refreshing, as they always spoke life to me and about me...and about the person that was hurting me.  

I sought godly counsel -- and I listened and DID what they suggested - prayerfully.  When I did not want to -- I called them to pray. 

I also sought professional help - and I listened to WHAT she stated to do -- we both did.  It was hard....it was NOT easy ...it took over a year of counsel.  

Insanity is doing the SAME stuff over and over -- in a marriage that has been broken...in a marriage that has suffered a loss and in a marriage where vows were broken.... you can't put a band-aid on it.  You can't say 'I am sorry, and you are forgiven' and expect it to remain perfect.  There is a sweet spirit there -- and the Lord will cover you -- but HE asks us to change.....  

One piece of advice or thought process our Therapist stated and we quote often -- "an affair is a symptom"  of other problems.  Drinking and taking some drugs or pills to 'numb' the pain is a symptom of other problems and add that to a marriage....ouch.  

When we prayerfully walk out our healing with counsel - godly and professional - and we take the time to MAKE the necessary changes of our own behavior -- I believe we can see  and I  have seen restoration.  

When we allow our emotions to do the healing and the counseling...I have seen changes...but changes that did not last.  Changes that hurt. 

Humbly seek counsel....be willing to come under authority of a Pastor /Counselor and follow their suggestions.  And if it is not working...go back to that Counselor and seek God and that person....many times... it takes some major surgery to fix a problem.....  there is a cost....  we think nothing of the cost to run to an emergency room to get help....why not RUN to a therapist that CAN be a new set of eyes.... and allow them to help - change the habits.  

The bottom line is -- I don't think some people WANT change. 

I don't believe that some WANT to do the HARD. 

People want QUICK fixes...  God can do that- but many times ...it takes time.  

HIS timing is perfect.  

As I said, the Holy Spirit gave me 7 topics...to blog on over the next week.  Many of the women that have returned from the Encounter Weekend are in recovery ....there was Holy Surgery done -- and the Holy Spirit warned them...to only allow a few visitors for the first few hours...to guard their hearts and head - as Satan ( and he is real ) and his helpers would be seeking to KILL, STEAL, and DESTROY...and I have seen it happen....not only within those women that went to the Encounter...but others too...

.....but others who have been told to ...seek counsel....won't follow it....

....others who have been prayed over -- and given advice to take it slow...and yet..they decided to manipulate the situation...they decided all was well...and it was not....

God is the God of second chances...and God will heal a humbled heart...  HE crowns the humble.... but His word also says -- HE labels one that can't control their anger -- as a fool.  

God is just. 

God is love.....and God is good....but HE is just.  

Exodus 14.14 - says that HE will fight for you -- God will....we must let God fight our battles...

Love covers a multitude of sins... and we must always forgive.  

But we must also do the HARD.  

If the Lord, has released your from a relationship because of adultery...then let it be......

But if God has NOT released you -- DO what God says... You will stand before Him one day - and YOu will have to account for your actions...what will you say?  

Lord....use these words this eve...I pray YOU will be glorified.  

In Jesus name...amen.  

- Humbled...

Grateful...and expecting that tomorrow -- one will do the HARD and  not allow the emotional walking...but will be prayerful and seek help - real help and do the HARD.   Or one will probably allow the enemy to tell her more lies -- and she will blame the accused or even me....but I know that I know - these words spoke truth.  God knows the desire of my heart - to speak life and encourage...

The hardest part is when 'the one' does not see that - and the spewing falls back upon me -- that is when I proclaim over and over -- Exodus 14.14 -- God is fighting for me - I need only be still -- and quiet too..  

Amen.