Another Guest blogger - When God answers prayer.....

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This is just me....  

Sometimes people write for therapy.   Some people write to just be heard.  Some are paid to write...others write to make you laugh and others still write to teach you something.   That is why I write.  I pray that as I write, it will make you laugh, cause you to pray a little more or even have hope to believe in a miracle;  but I also like to share what  God has been teaching me.    So I blog.  I feel compelled to write.  When a few days pass and I don't blog -- I miss it.  I pray against 'checking' my numbers.  (Checking to see how many have visited the blog site and then comparing one blog to another.)  The enemy would LOVE to use this against me and at times, I have to recheck my heart.  

I have made mistakes.  I have shared too much at times, and I believe I have been too IN YOUR FACE as well.   I also know, some won't read my blogs anymore -- because it does bring conviction but also -- they just don't care and THAT is ok too.  Before I publish any blog, I ask God once again -- is this for YOU or for ME?   And I believe that when HE no longer has me writing and publishing for HIS purpose...I will know!  As, I will stand accountable for every word - one day.  

I also love to read blogs.  I don't read every blog I come across -- I stick with Christian sites and so forth.  I have a few bloggers that I will read but I also look for new writers.  

I pray that as you read this, and I am speaking to you - the reader - I am well aware of your time.
  Time is precious and often people won't read a blog because it is too long or it just does not interest them.  But I pray that if you were led here because you know me or because God directed you to read this ....then I pray that the time spent was indeed WORTH it.    A blog post was a way GOD spoke to me when I needed to know there was hope.  So...it is kind of dear to my heart.  

And, I am well aware that my blogs are long.  They just are.  However, some of the best blogs I have read, and some of God's best stories in HIS Word...are a little longer than a 2 minute read.  

Facebook is dear to me as well, as in a time when I  felt so totally alone and broken, God used that medium for several to contact me and HE orchestrated it and it ...a that moment...saved a life - mine.  I was ready to quit.  

So, earlier this week, I had a sweet woman of God write up what she had shared at our recent Women's Breakfast and I shared it.  I was so blessed by the analogy of a Toaster that I asked her to write it up so I could share!!  

I have been privileged and honored to work with many many women of God and often I will say to them.."you need to write a blog".   I have seen God work so tremendously with a broken spirit and it is hopeful and inspiring.  Their stories inspire me....so I must share!  

Several of my blogs -- I know have inspired  others.   Those people have told me so.  I have been told I should submit them to be published  -- like through Crosswalk.com or another Faith based publications.  

I admit, I have not ventured into that -- I have submitted a few to one publication but they were not published.  I guess I got gun shy.  However, I know that often it takes many submissions ...to be published.  

But anyway ----  here is another guest blogger. 

 For today, she is a mystery writer.  She has written before. I know she will write again.    Today's blog is for her... she wrote this.  She has record of how God is speaking to her right now. However, her words and her insight are timeless and for others to read and soak in as well. 

But tonight, this is for another and it was for me -- as I read her words, I was reminded of HOW God romanced me and brought me back to life.  

As you read and I pray you will READ it all -- I hope that you would feel that relationship with God as well. One so close, that you would not go back.    I could relate to her and as she wrote and  I answered..."NOPE, I am NOT going back!"  

To you - my readers-- 

Thank you --  for reading my blog, for allowing me this format.  Thank you, as if you are one of those faithful ones that have signed up for the email link and  get the blog first...  you will probably understand the pain in  this blog about answered prayers. 

Thank you -- if you are a reader because I share this on FB, I pray that the time spent reading this - is indeed -- not wasted.  However, I know that God will indeed speak to you as well.  

I am humbled that I am able to share this. 

I am humbled and honored that she would let me share this.  

 This mystery writer  is in the middle of a storm -- but she is fighting like a true warrior knowing God will win!     And I know that I know - God is indeed looking down and saying, "that is one of mine, well done girl, well done my good and faithful servant". 

 humbled to be in HIS service, Michelle   

When God answers prayer but it doesn’t look anything like you expected

I have a confession to make….

I am a mess.

Simply put. I’m a mess.

I make so many failures as a wife, mother, step mother, friend, sister, co-worker, etc. etc. etc.

I am a woman living in a sinful world; I make so many mistakes daily but I’m striving for the Kingdom of God and I’m so impressed with God’s ability to not only forgive me but pull me into His presence and love on me.

The primary focus of my prayers for over a year have been to transform and increase my marriage and my family.

Daily I have prayed protection over each member of my family as well as the sanctity of my marriage.

I was remembering my prayers this morning as I lay in my bed listening to my child lightly breathing - my child  would let out a little chuckle over whatever dream was keeping my child  so joyfully captivated.

I thought about some of the other prayers I’ve prayed over the course of this year and realized they are being answered… but in some rather painful ways right now.

Lead me with wisdom and discernment, Lord. Take me deeper with You, Lord. Guide me. Grant me wisdom and help me to become more selfless. Remove fear. Lord, help me to fight, to hold on. Strengthen my faith. Learn patient endurance. Make me into a wife my husband will trust, love and cherish. Remove me and place YOU into every area. Change me from the inside out. Reckless obedience in God. Discipline me with hasty compliance and submission. To be humble. Remove all self-righteous lies the enemy whispers. Purge me, Lord. Circumcise my heart. Face what I fear (being alone) and become fearless. Search me, Lord. Deal with me swiftly of anything stopping me from the full potential You have for me.  Lord, show me any unforgiveness, bitterness, grieving the Holy Spirit, bring it to light and cleanse me. May I abide in You. I want to be a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.

These have been my sincere prayers this past year.

This is the raw revelation to those prayers.

We never truly recognize how much a mess we are until God starts to deal with us.

When He starts to peel back the layers of the deepest parts of our souls and pulls out all of the ‘ugly’.

This is such a painful process.

This morning as I lay in bed, I had to ask myself one question.

In this valley. This dark pit I’m in, this immeasurable pain, while God is refining me through the fire. Would I ever turn back? Could I ever go back to the person I used to be?

You see, the enemy wasn’t trying to tear me down when I wasn’t serving the Lord.

It was when I started chasing after the very thread of His robe that the enemy started taking notice.

He realized that when God started working in me, in my husband, in our family, that we would be a mighty force to be reckoned with.

So, he attacks.

And… the Lord fights… and He also allows this time to take me through the fiery furnace to remove all of the dirt and soot stopping me from my fullest potential in Him. To…. Remind me….. I cannot operate in my own strength or knowledge. It comes from Him… To humble me.

To break me. So I can turn and fully rely on Him and Him alone.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 The Message (MSG)

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

I have looked back over the past 6 years of my life. The valleys I’ve been in. The struggles. The pain. These times, God’s still small voice was there. He was loving me. He was strengthening me. He was refining me.

He still does.

And He disciplines.

A loving father will allow his children free will to choose their own way. He will let them make mistakes. Then in his unfailing love, he will reveal the error of our ways, he will discipline and he will wipe the slate clean. That’s what a loving father does.

This is what God continues to do in my life.

But it’s one done out of the complete, unfailing love of a genuine father that wants to first reveal, discipline and cleanse of anything.

Could I ever turn back? Could I ever return to the ways of my past? Could I ever go somewhere where I could not hear His voice or sense His presence?

If He could deliver me from my pain right now, would I do it if it meant I’d never hear Him or feel Him again?

As Moses said In Exodus 33:15 "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.”

No, Lord. Don’t leave me. I’ll stay in the fire. I’ll allow You to cleanse me and purge me. I’ll allow You to do Your work in and through me.

I could never turn back.

To think of You not being the very center of my life frightens me.

So, thank you, Lord.

Thank you that You are my discipline, You are the refiner of my soul, You cleanse me of my flesh making me into Your likeness. Thank you, You are answering my prayers. You are strengthening.

It is the faith planted and grown from my grandmother and mother that now lives in me (2 Timothy 1:5) that I will stand through the fire. I will walk through the trials. I will submit in total obedience to my Lord and Savior to refine me.

For HIS Kingdom.

James 1:2-6

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

Lord, You are answering my prayers. Not in the way I expected, wanted or anticipated.

This is Your will.

I will submit.

Your obedient daughter anchored in You.

NOTHING is too difficult for ME......

BEHOLD, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is anything too difficult for me?    Jeremiah 32.27










Is anything  too difficult - NO!

I have seen a  broken heart healed.
I have seen a broken family restored.
I have watched a person that loved God harden his heart.
I have felt like really hurting another physically, yet God granted me mercy and kept me still.
I  have been so panic struck  that I wanted to literally KILL something - and HE protected me.
I have been in situations where the Holy Spirit took over my voice box and I know that I know God spoke through me.
I have felt like the only hope was going to heaven......and He comforted.
I have been lied too - believed I was not good enough in God's eyes.
I believed lies cause I did not understand who I was in Christ.
I have seen miracles of healing happen right in front of my eyes.
I have seen others release baggage from YEARS of pain and hurt and be set free.
I have prayed with a young woman and watched how God's grace and mercy overcame her - and she was able to forgive a man that abused her.
I have been forgiven and redeemed.
I have been adopted by God and my name is in the Lamb's book of life.

I share all of that -- cause I realize that GOD can do anything....HE saved me.


Nothing is too difficult.

If you read my blog post yesterday, I had an incredible day at church.....blessed and humbled.   But God brought to me another that needed to know -- GOD can do anything.

I have said it before -- I think that sometimes, women give up and give in too soon.  Even men do this and divorce comes and many believe this is the better outcome.

From personal experience and LOTS of counsel -- the problems one is trying to get away from don't go away -- it will follow you -- satan is lying if he is telling you that 'things will be better with someone new'.

God's will IS to restore.

God's will is for families to be whole.

I won't say it is 'easy'.  Restoration can only come when one has godly sorrow which leads to repentance and then....restoration and healing can come.

And I am NOT condemning....I realize that a miracle occurred within our family.  But in some families peace only comes when a mom and dad separate.  It is hard.  God can bring beauty out of those ashes.  I have seen it.

 Unfortunately, we can not control the free will of another.  Even God gave us Free will.

Free will sucks when you are a wife - desperate to 'save' a marriage.

However,  free will is  beautiful when that marriage is restored and the wife knows....he is back home and not because he was manipulated to do so -- because it was his free will to work at a marriage, to honor a commitment, and to seek God and HIS will.  

Life stinks.  We were not promised bliss -- we were promised much, but as the verse goes, it rains on the just and unjust -  - the bottom line is that
WHEN we are brokenhearted --when there is something missing within our lives -- when we have idols that fill our lives - the only proper thing that can FILL that missing part - ---
               the only proper person that can truly  heal us ---
the only way we can see and believe that Nothing is TOO difficult for God -- is IF we TRUST HIM.

Our trust has to be in God.

Jeremiah 17. 5-6 says:
Cursed is the one who trusts in man , who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord.  He will be like a bush in the wastelands, he will not see prosperity when it comes and he will dwell in the parched places of the desert.

Jeremiah 17. 7-8:
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.  He will be like a tree planted near water, he does not fear when fire comes and there are no worries of drought!

As my sister and my mom will say, "everyone has their own path and journey".  I on the other hand agree but I want to SPEED it up .....
I have 'healed pain'...which in some sense is wisdom.  I know it really took me a LONG time to understand that I did not trust God.  I had idols.  Many.  It took me a long time to understand that I COULD not depend on man ....or my flesh for strength as -- that died.  That idol had to be 'killed'.

It was only when I took that leap of faith and told my self OVER and OVER and OVER....that God was going to win.  God would take PERFECT care of me and God would make sure -- I was going to be fine.

Then...something changed.

How does this look like to the outside world?

You would of seen me writing down scripture  upon scripture verse  in my spiral in my purse.
You would of seen me alone in my bedroom, pacing and singing to the TOP of my lungs to some very specific Christian music that spoke life.
You would see me talking to God - often in my mirror -- even shaking my fist at God -- and then seeking HIS forgiveness as I was just trying to make some sense of stuff.  God knew I was mad at Him -- so speaking it and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak back at me......was therapy.
I did bible studies -- I totally recommend Kay Arthur's "heal my hurts".
I called a few Christian friends that let me vent and then they'd pray.
I would fall asleep with my bible tucked under my blanket.
I read and reread Psalms and wrote and wrote prayers for me, for my kids..and others.
I posted scripture on Facebook that SPOKE to me that day and soaked up any wisdom that my Christian sister's  would post on my wall.
I went to church - anytime the doors were open -- seeking prayer...worshiping...crying...and believing that stuff would eventually be ok.
I would pray and speak out WHAT I wanted from God and remind God of His promises to me.
I read book upon book - that spoke of God's promises and helped me deal with my hurt.
I kept busy.
I also paid attention to others that I could pray for  and encourage.


Why am I sharing all of this tonight -- ????

I am encouraging a new friend --
I am encouraging another  -- as when I sought help, reading WHAT other women of faith did....reading other 'success' stories....blessed me and gave me HOPE.

So I pray this blog Post this eve...gives that one HOPE.
I also pray it ministers to another -- God is THAT big.


He may of directed a TOTAL stranger to this sight -- I believe He restored me and redeemed us -- cause HE wants us to let others know -- NOTHING is too difficult for HIM!

Amen.




Humbled.
I love you Lord.
Michelle

Prayers for a Healthy Marriage #9 - for her dream....

This prayer can be for 'him' too...but today I am focusing on the women.
God wants to remind us - HE is strong. And HE created His daughters to be strong!
With God's word as our SWORD - there is nothing the enemy can do to knock us off course in prayer for our men.  BUT....we can be swayed if we don't hunker down and stick to it.

I was caught off guard.
However, I quickly figured out what to do -- well, maybe not quickly...I faltered a lot  and I kept taking our problems back away from HIS cross and finally -- after much time and continued hurt - I got to a place where I just could not 'deal' with anything anymore and I believe at that moment - I was finally broken and willing to do whatever it took .....to wait and to be a vigilant prayer warrior for my marriage.

I had to believe in something that I did not see.
I had to have faith and trust God.
That is really HARD to comprehend as I have mentioned this before - I really thought I had it figured out and I really did believe I trusted God - but I only trusted Him as much as I could at that time.

God wanted me at a higher level with Him -- He wants to use me.  He is using me.

So this prayer is for the women  who are trying to hang in there -- they are praying for something they don't see....they want their marriage, and want God to do a great work within their husbands.

Lord God, I pray they will dream...I pray they will dream big enough to fight.  God I pray that the women /wife reading this is broken enough to place ALL pride aside and place anything that is hindering her relationship with YOU....aside...God I pray she will confess it and deal with it - as nothing can be between her and you....And then Lord.....I know  You have already placed a dream and a desire within her heart and her head.....she knows what she would like.  She wants a man that longs to be close to You.  She wants a man that lives within his bible and seeks and searches Your Words.  And then Lord....he will be that man that will love her - unconditionally.  Lord, then he can be the one that will meet the needs, comfort the broken heart and....rear the children as a team ..with her.
She needs him Lord -- the children need him...so, I pray Lord that they won't give up...that they will fight past what the 'see' and just believe that IT can be possible....Oh God, I sit here today as I know, I gave you a list of what I wanted....and by God --  You have fulfilled most of those 'wishes'...but only after You did a work on a heart....for the heart work first....open the eyes, speak to him - amen.  

Giving Thanks - This is meant to encourage you!

Thanksgiving.
In 2009, my heart ached.
In 2010, my heart was frozen.
In 2011, my heart felt awkward but hopeful and cautious.
In 2012, my heart was hopeful but timid.
Today, my heart is healed and thankful.

I don't mean to bring up the past - but I mean to remind anyone that reads this -- LIFE is hard and it takes TIME to reach our healing.

The past is that - my past, but it was my  destiny ---that was  steered......and so therefore, I do remember-- often --the PIT from which I came from...my OWN pit - that I put myself in.

 Many times it seems if we are thrown into that PIT and many times we are....or we are pushed, but either way -- we were in a PIT.  I was in a PIT.  I am thankful HE pulled me out of there - HE pulled us out!

We stop and think that our problem 'just happened' or 'suddenly hit' and when we get beyond the other side of it -- and if we really allow God to reveal it to us......the problem came on so slowly and we ignored all the warning signs and we just moved forward so the hurt was a LONG time coming.  So, the healing most often has to take a LONG time coming.

The Enemy is a liar and he is so sneaky....and he has all the time in the world to lie and slowly make a path to that PIT so that when were are just right there...we fall in.    

But -

 Don't give up.   Don't give in.    God wins.

Today my heart is heavy for the people around me -- the hurting ones.

My husband and I spent almost on hour in prayer this am.  I don't say that to brag -- I say that in praise.....as that is one of the reasons why my heart is healed today - prayer!!!

 One thing I had to confess to God  this morning is that -- HE is in control.  HE brings His children to our minds and we pray and we both believe in miracles, but we must also release those people to HIM....as some don't get their healing on 'our' timeline.  But, HE knows.


Several times in the past few days, my husband has had to remind me that I am not a super hero....I can't FIX stuff and even though I pray and ask God to intervene....HE really is still the Savior and the FIXER!

I had to release several today -- trusting them to God, that in their pain....they will find their solace in HIM.

HE is the only one that can truly heal.

We may want SO much for that friend to see HIm.....as a Savior...
We may want that loved one to finally be set free of her sin....
We may want that one to be loved on at Thanksgiving time and have her children with her...
We may want to experience that true peace to see our loved ones again   or  have an answer as to 'why' they were taken so soon...
We may just need a miracle in an area that we can't get control of....

Whatever the circumstance, whatever the need - HE does know it and HE is making a way  -- the perfect way.  We must just pray that our will lines up with HIS...

That is hard to watch - when you can see WHAT God would want that person to do - but you can't make them....they must find that way themselves.


Holidays are hard - filled with much joy, laughter, pain and sorrow - and HIM.

So, with that - I will pray:

I cry out to our God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of Kings and the Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light.  ( 1 Tim 6.18)  -- that HIS will be done!  For each and every one of the people HE has brought to our attention in the past few weeks and months....I continue to pray that the God of HOPE will fill them with all the joy and peace as they TRUST HIM and walk with Him.....so that they will overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit ( Romans 15.13) and may HIS healing hand not only restore their families, but create for HIS glory and HIS honor -- a new family and a new person - refined  by HIS fire, molded by HIS hands, and created by HIS mercy and love.  I praise you Lord for what you are doing and what you will do in their lives...Amen.

Lord - heal her heart....return those kids to her.
Lord - heal that addiction .... set her free.
Lord - heal that heart and her sorrow.
Lord - meet the financial need.
Lord - bind that enemy away from her - set her free from the immortality.
God protect all of them and their families around.
Lord, that eyes would be opened.  Amen.  
Thank you Lord!

And God, that she would believe that YOU can heal her marriage too -- Oh Lord, that she would know -- it can be done.  Amen.

..thankful.... there is a LIGHT at the end of the tunnel....I promise!

My Jesus Calling Devotional today ...states this:

Beloved, this is the day that the Lord has made...As you rejoice in this day of life, it will yield up to you precious gifts and beneficial training.  Walk with Me along the high road of thanksgiving, and you will find delights I have made ready for you....To protect your thankfulness, you must remember that you reside in a fallen world, where blessings and sorrows intermingle freely.  A constant focus on adversity defeats many Christians. ...They walk through a day that is brimming with beauty and brightness, seeing only the grayness of their thoughts.  Neglecting the practice of giving thanks has darkened their minds.  How precious are My children who remember to thank Me at all times.  They can walk through the darkest of days with joy in their hearts because they know that the Light of My Presence is still shining on them.  Rejoice in this day that I have made for you, I am your steadfast Companion.  - God   Psalm 118. 24  and Psalm 116. 17 

It is very hard to stay hopeful when it seems like God has forgotten us.  I have said that...I have felt that God has forgotten me, but praise God I have also lived long enough to know
                            ...that is a LIE from the pit of hell.

God does not forget us.  God never has.  HE knew me..HE knows you...before you were born.  HE knows the number of hairs left on my head and how many will fall out into the drain this evening.

I am posting today for 3 reasons...to give hope and encouragement for three special women of God that I got to pray with today....and for myself, to remind myself how things are so relative and how the enemy  continues to try and lie and weasel his way into our lives.

And maybe I am posting this --for you...the stranger at the other side of this computer screen that I don't know.

Today I was SO pissed..yep, I used that word PISSED.  I was angry.  I wanted to cuss!   I have not been THAT angry with my daughter ....since...since she was 2 years old and pulled her ONE and ONLY tantrum in Walmart during the Christmas holiday.

I have not been THIS pissed off...since....since I saw my neighbor Todd put a shock color on our dog Bella and then I had to watch her get shocked and Brendan gave him permission  to do it ...I was equally mad at them both! (more mad at BP )

Let's see...I was THIS mad at myself when I knew I should of wrapped this one really cool vase better when we moved and sure enough- it crashed...and it was ME to blame, but I yelled at HP.

Ok...it seems there may be a few anger issues here, but not really.

 I was in the dentist chair today when I got a text and to make a  long story short - I am having a Mary Martha Party later this evening and I prayed over the invites  -- and I asked God whom to invite and took great care.  I mailed a few, delivered a few myself,  and then gave my daughter the job of delivering the 16 others to the mailboxes at CES ( my old school ).  Well, today's  text prompted me to ask a few questions and sure enough, the 16 invites NEVER made it to their mailboxes....the party was in 30 hours....it is Thanksgiving break, people have plans, the Consultant has  made plans, she will set up her stuff and have only a few here?

The goal is to sell some stuff! ---- (please read to the end of this post - as THAT is not the goal!)

 I guess I got "more" mad cause I later found the invites in her messy car...under junk.  Under volleyball and college stuff.  You see, I rubber banded the invites to her keys and asked her 2x.. and this has happened before!  But again -- long story short, the invites did not go out.  And now, do I cancel or do I call people?

Ok, enough already - this really is not about the forgotten invites.  It really is about the Enemy trying his best to defeat us.  Quickly I was reminded of something the Consultant always says, "Michelle, those who God wants at the party - are always the right ones, even if there are only two people" -- and one time we had a party of two people!   And God reminded me even more quickly - this was the enemy....as each time Carla shares a word from God - the enemy is defeated....

And I know something REALLY cool will transpire later tonight cause not only did the invite debacle interupt my day...but, the enemy threw a few more things at me.

By the way...
I texted/yelled at my daughter via 1400 miles away.  I said sorry about 4 hours later.

As I said, when it rains, it pours at times, but yet, I became so aware and thankful for my own children and their health as throughout the day, I prayed with a woman that needs her health back and she needs her son to be healthy and whole too.

I read about a little boy that went to the REZ school, that had entered heaven and thought about his family....

I was reminded of Ethan and his children that probably awoke today and were reminded that "their mommy went to heaven today just two weeks prior".    ( His wife, their mom died of cancer on 11-11)

I reached out to a woman that wants restoration in a marriage.

I prayed with a woman that does not have her kids right with her right now, and her heart is so broken.

And I was reminded of MANY other heartbroken people.

I was reminded that we always need to be thankful.

I think it is important to be real and to be aware.  Because of God....there is HOPE and there is light at the end of the tunnel even when we think it can't happen.

It is a very hard concept, but there can be joy in our circumstance.

Tomorrow could be the day the situation turns around....tomorrow could be the day....

I am quite sure that my 'party' will be fine.  Carla's goal is not to have GREAT sales, she does this as a ministry and she is able to speak about God.  My goal for the party was to have some time of fun fellowship with my pals from CES...and share with them the wonderful products that could bless them.

But, even though the enemy seemed to weasel into today - I am thankful.

But, I have prayed this evening and I will continue  to pray specifically for those three women I spoke to today...that God will uphold them, that maybe tomorrow the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel will be revealed..I will pray that they grab ahold of the edge of Jesus' garmeant or walk OUT on that water and hold ON for dear life...and allow God to be there.

God has to be it.
HE has to be our all.
HE allows strife and heartache within out lives - cause HE wants to draw us near  -- HE is getting our attention. That was NOT HIS intention but we are in a wicked world and we chose the path, we have that free will....it leads us into temptation and then sin.
It certainly seems  like ALL the others ( around us )  are getting the breaks and the ones who are ARE on their knees seeking God are NOT winning...but hold on dear sister...hold on beloved....YOU are HIS.

Please don't compare your situation with others -- you have no idea, but maybe Satan does not need to mess with them...and he is able to bless then ( Satan can bless people ) cause they are NO threat.
So consider it an honor...that the enemy is seeking to destroy you -- and your dreams and family...cause he knows, God has great plans in the future.

Lisa Bevere says that you are probably being attacked ...cause of WHAT the enemy knows YOU can do for the Kingdom of God in the future -- so he is attacking now.  Don't let him win.

Don't let the enemy tell you God has forgotten you -- HE has not.
Cry out to him.  Demand GOD to show up and move....just make sure that you are RIGHT with him first - confess any sin....make sure YOU have asked HIm into your life and heart, and declare your love for him.

I realize it may be hard to declare your LOve for God...I was unable to really do that for many years...it takes time to trust something that is 'unseen'.  But, if we will...Glory will come.

Hang in there sweet ladies....YOU are deeply loved.  Memorize these verses  below.  Personalize them.

Michelle, be strong and courageous, don't fear..for God is with me and HE won't leave or forsake me.
__________, be strong....



Lord, God.....I am thankful for this day - as I close my eyes now finally at 2am...and rest, I pray that tomorrow - ( later today ) - YOU will show up in a mighty way to those sisters in Christ that touched me today....God they need miracles, guidance, advice, and direction and they need healing and restoration - I pray that for EACH of them.  amen.

God they may not have the faith right now to believe there is  LIGHT at the end of the TUNNEL - but I will believe it enough for them -- I will!

Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV 

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Psalm 55:22 ESV / 

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

...the POWER that sustains ...

  I want to share  something that is VERY hard to explain.....

Here is some scripture :

2 Timothy 3: 16-17 says All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. 

1 Corinthians 12.1 says  'now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I do not want you to be ignorant' 

1 Corinthians 1. 6-7 says 'you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed' 

Luke 3.16 says 'John answered the, all, " I baptize you with water, but one who is more powerful than I will come, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to unite.  He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.'

John 1. 32- 34 says 'Then John gave his testimony: " I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. And I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, 'the man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.' I have seen and I testify that this is God's Chosen One." 

I am speaking about the POWER   -- the power that sustained me.
I believe that POWER was the difference.

I thank God for the ministering and mentoring possibilities HE brings to me.  I know I am an encourager and I SOUGHT out much encouragement when I was in the middle of a crisis of belief and heartache  within my immediate  family.  When I stop and speak, or write, I reflect and the enemy loves to remind me HOW long we were in that pain or how I  was ...or we were in turmoil  but so OUT Of fellowship with our Lord.    ( the enemy does that - he is a LIAR )

So I battle, and take those thoughts captive and believe HIS word and HIS promises.

But I will stop and ask myself -- "how did I do it Lord?"
 And I quickly remind myself or whomever I spoke to -- " I didn't -- HE did it through me...I did it through HIM "

And one of the main reasons I did overcome was because I had some EXTRA power.

 I had a power tool within my reach -- that power was a blessing and it DID sustain me.

This is a literal illustration but if I had to cut a forest of trees down, and I had a saw, I could do the job.  But if I had a POWER tool - an ELECTRIC saw - just think of HOW much faster I would get the job done.   

Sometimes we are SO full of hurt or SO full of  discouragement   that we just don't want to open our bibles nor even pray or think -- THAT is when I could stop, pray in my prayer language,  and know that know -- I WAS speaking DIRECTLY to the Father and the enemy had NO clue.  Amen.


I am referring to my prayer language -- I am referring to speaking in tongues.

I believe this is something that is lacking ....the Power of the Holy Spirit is needed.
God is raising a generation of women -- we are like the lioness' arising.  We are SO powerful and our swords are our words ...HIS words...OUR sword is the word of God.

We need to know it - live it, breathe it in and speak it out.

God's word shows me that HIS gift of the baptism of the Holy Spirit ...is HIS gift to me.
We ALL receive the Holy Spirit upon conversion or salvation  -- that is not what I am speaking of.
Being baptized in the Holy Spirit is separate and distinct  -- different from receiving the Holy Spirit at salvation.


Personally, I was raised Catholic and my priest told me that speaking in tongues was a way to help explain what transpired after the death of Christ.  He told me it does not happen today and that if it did - it would be for the priests.

I had asked, I inquired.   I was 17.

I went to church with my boyfriend - Brendan.  I heard some people pray out loud and it sounded weird.  It scared me.  Therefore I had already set my heart against it.

 I will remember one Sunday School lesson where it was discussed and praise God the teacher stated, "you don't have to be baptized in the Holy Spirit to go to heaven".  Relief -- I was 20.

In the mean time, I heard some people pray it more privately.  I asked questions of Brendan and his Grandparents and had it 'figured out'.

From age 21-35 various people at church would preach about it.  I ignored it - it still felt 'freaky'. I got too busy -- it was not needed in my opinion.

Brendan and I never discussed it.

 By the age of 37 - I became MORE aware of many things.  We were pretty involved in a wonderful church where the baptism of the holy spirit was not welcome.  In fact, it became a topic that had to be defended.   Brendan began to talk about it - conversations started.  He wanted it so I wanted it,  but in my own head - I was still afraid of it.   My uncle was diagnosed with cancer and all of a sudden  prayer became a focal point.

Skip to age 39 - this  was a time in my life when God was beginning to change me.

The enemy so deceived my husband, in hindsight I see a man that tried within his 'humanness' to seek God but the enemy won out each time, thus, deception and lies are believed.

In many lonely walks and countless  talks with God, I was 'given' a phrase a sentence.  It did not make sense.  I never spoke of it to my husband -- the enemy has such a wall between us then.  I did not tell anyone but repeating it over and over brought comfort.  I paid closer attention now to preachers on TV  and I read lots of books or articles on the subject.  And I asked God, "did I have my prayer language?".  But I had no idea if I did -- looking back, yes I did, God had baptized me in that prayer language but I was too weak ...too scared.... and to much of a baby in Christ to understand it and I did  not have anyone around me to disciple me. Oh God had put people there - but I couldn't see them.  I was blind.

Even though at that time -- I was attending church... But let me say it again  -- I  had many around me that could of helped me understand but the enemy had me so closed off and ALONE and isolated - even though I was a youth leader, I lead a bible study or two and I prayed often.

That was my idol of pride .....at that time I had things so figured out - I was so blind!
I also had a spirit of religion where I felt I knew what I was suppose to do and I did it.

Sometime in there,  I witnessed my daughter research it, seek it and get her prayer language and she was so excited ...so full of HIM she came home to share and within her speaking about it, our son read the material and was baptized in it instantly.  I had both kids speaking in their prayer language and I had to admit -- IT WAS real  ....and I went to the bedroom where my depressed husband was and I shared with him and he could not even look at me.

Now I understand why - he was so hard to anything of God and that was such conviction.  I had no idea of the sin my husband  was in ....I just thought he was in a major depression and mid-life crisis.  But how sweet of God, giving that gift  to my children as God  knew that within a few short years ...my children would NEED that as the hurricane had not HIT us yet.  I was 42.

It is hard to capture 10 years worth of feelings  in a blog that I try to keep brief -- but, I needed to say all that so that you  can understand the fear I had and the resistance I had to being baptized in the Holy Spirit.

...Until I was 44.  I believe THAT is when I truly OPENED the eyes HE gave me.  I had too - I was desperate.  I sought out a friend, a Pastor, as I sought prayer with he and his wife--God opened my eyes and I realized I had unforgiveness towards so many -- but who could blame me, I had been betrayed!

 He asked me if I had a prayer language and  I explained, and then he asked if he could pray for me in that prayer language and I said OF course! As he prayed, like I said, God opened my spiritual eyes and in my head,  and showed me that I had this mistrust and unforgiveness and that I needed to forgive him-- my friend who is NOW my Pastor ---- and so ---I forgave him and as those words came out of my mouth....my prayer language spit out in front of me.  I say spit out in front of me but it burst out - and it was real and I knew it and I freaked out cause I knew I did not put those words into my mouth.

Pastor immediately told me to continue to speak it out. AS I know now, that is so important when one receives their prayer language because the enemy hates it and quickly whispers - THAT is not real.  But I knew it was real and I just had to jump up and praise God.  From that point on -- I knew I could  rely on praying in my prayer language -- cause after that, there were many many many countless and sleepless nights where I just had NO more words but I wanted to speak to God and pray for the people in my life ....my family...I wanted restoration and I wanted redemption and I wanted my family - to be quite honest - I wanted my husband saved. Period.

THAT is the POWER that sustained me.
THAT is the power I rely on now to continue to fight the enemy.
THAT is the difference -- I believe in some of us getting our healing faster than others......
THAT is what I believe makes the difference.

Peter denied Jesus 3x while they were persecuting our Lord, and yet, after repenting and receiving the Baptism of the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost, he had power and boldness to preach to the multitudes and over 3000 were born again.


Skip back to me at age 44. After that night of prayer in my Pastor and his wife's living room - God began to open my eyes like never before and thus began a process that took time, patience, and lots of love and therapy  so that by age 45....I REALLY could forgive the one person I felt was the blame and I realized that I had to FORGIVE God too...but that is another blog.

I have always wanted to minister to people.   I feel. I want to be used by God.   I wanted to be the next Beth Moore once I heard her and realized WHAT she accomplishes through Christ.  But,  God did not make me Beth Moore...he made me Michelle.

 And yes,  I have been through a few trials and most recently my family,  has walked through the fire and we came out on the other side -- better, stronger, and finally FREE of so much bondage and strongholds.  Free of condemnation and shame, free of the lies that the enemy had convinced us all.   God allowed the hurt and betrayal of infidelity to pierce our family and so now -- many people believe I am some really GREAT prayer warrior or person that 'gets things done'.  One person even said I was remarkable ....I am not remarkable - I am HIS and if my words, or my actions help another to understand and realize that we all will face JESUS one day and give an account -- than praise God, I want to be used, I want the LOST saved.   One women even told me she needed me to pray for her grandson cause God hears me.....

God will hear her JUST a mightily but the enemy has her convinced her words are not good enough.  The enemy is a LIAR.

I am nothing without God.  I am nothing without Christ - HE is the one that healed.  HE is the one that restored -- I only grabbed onto the fringe of HIS garment and HUNG on for dear life.
I did hang on tight.
I did not give up.
I wanted to.  I asked God many many many nights to please release me -- to please let me just be DONE...but HE never did that.
 HE gave us His son -- so we can endure.

I am not perfect -- just to be real, I also prayed at that same  time that God would hold me still as I wanted to slash some tires and do MAJOR damage to body parts -- I did  -- I guess I am adding that cause I want to be real and transparent - walking through a fire is HARD..but the joy and rewards of seeing the beauty out of the ashes is such a  GOD blessing!   I am humbled.

 I sought HIS word and the sword and when I just COULD not pray anymore...I spoke my prayers directly to GOD by using my prayer language. It was the power I needed.

It was no longer freaky.
It was real.

I am 47 today ....

This boldness is only from HIM.  My life verse it to let HIS light shine in me - like Beth Moore says, "there is NO high like a Jesus high"...to see another be SET free...to believe in miracles and to be a part of a church body/family that believes  GOD Can do anything is encouragement and life to me...life to my daughter..and life to my husband.

BTW -- if you speak to him and get talking about God  -- he will tell you of THAT power too - and there is nothing more rewarding  than praying with your husband and hearing him claim life over you...bless you..and pray for you.   Hearing him ask me to pray for him, to keep another  in my prayers,  Etc. ETc.  THAT is what God intended.  THAT is why He allowed  our  crisis of faith.

...So, I could write today and even if ONLY one person reads this and gets the urge to inquire about the Holy Spirit and want to have that -- prayer language...I am blessed and humbled.

 You can have that power too - HE promised it.

The baptism is a gift  received by faith.
We receive it by asking.
Have you already spoke it out -- that you would never get it??
Have you experienced it before so you are already freaked out?

 You can change that.

Start reading the book of Acts and Corinthians chapters 12-14 and Jesus will be more real to you and if you have READ to the bottom of this post -- I believe YOU want that power too.

Humbled.
- Michelle

If you read this and endured to the end  -- I believe God is giving you a reminder -- HE wins!

This is my Pastor and his wife -- I appreciate their truth and powerful prayers and their intercession - it made a difference along with the MANY others that prayed for me, my husband and our family in our hurricane - it was MANY who prayed!  thank you !

..what GOD can do in 3 years..reflecting...

Three years ago this weekend, John James spoke at our church for the 2nd time.  He had been there once before but I remember this weekend cause I had invited my hubby to come and he did. Three years ago was a part of the AWKWARD years. We were separated at the time, and well - it was just awkward.

I had been transfixed on the fact that JOHN JAMES of Newsboys fame was actually coming to little old Okeechobee. How incredible. I remember being star struck -- but that was when I was 'so immature'. LOL
Seriously....he is just a man that puts his pants on the same way we do. Nonetheless...I was still thrilled. Besides Steven Curtis Chapman - the Newsboys were really the ONLY group that had cutting edge 'fast rock' praise and worship music.

I still laugh at when I saw them in concert in Ft. Pierce at the Civic Center. We had to get a baby sitter for Taylor as it was one of our first outings after she was born - 22+ years ago and we had to sit through 2 other 'alternative' bands first that literally BLEW out out eardrums and Brendan wanted to GO. There was NO place to sit and all these teens...I admit, wanted to leave too. I convinced him to stay and at least hear ONE ...ONE Newsboy song..."shine" was the current hit. 

Anyway, we did, we stayed. Thank goodness they had a new album and they wanted to play the newer songs but SHINE was the current hit - so it was about the 4th song they did. When it finally started I motioned to Brendan to look around -- in the audience now were people OUR age...WOW. All the teens had gone to sit and we were among the 'yuppies' of our age....25 year olds...or at least they looked 25ish!!  

such fun - WE did leave after that song, as our ears were ringing and it took the drive all the way back to Okeechobee before I could hear out of my ears normally. But I coined that as our FIRST concert - it really was. We had never been to any concerts before.

I remember John singing -- I remember him looking a bit scary -- little did I know but that is when he was going through his own hell - but that is another story and another blog post for him to tell. He has a remarkable testimony and love for God. He joined our church today -- our 'little' FOL church - as he is under our cover as a missionary for the USA! Yeah...sort of cool.

yeah God!

I am so blessed to call him a friend now. How cool is that.

Back to 3 years ago - that day, I remember Brendan going forward to speak to him - wow. In those months we spoke about what we HAD to speak about -- nothing more....now - it is such a different story. In fact, today Brendan was not at church, cause he was driving home from being a leader at a Men's Encounter in Titusville. Praise God -- only God can do that.

Three years ago, I took notes as John spoke and prayed about what may happen 'tomorrow'....Today, I took notes and prayed and thanked God for ALL HE has done and WHAT HE continues to do and I couldn't wait to get a call to hear of ALL that happened this weekend. As I knew- God was there. There were 12 men from our church that attended - tonight is the Celebration Service - I know I am going to be blessed by the testimonies!

So....let me go back once more... back to a prayer that I have taped in my bible. It is from 2 years ago - May of 2011, after one day I am sure I was a venting to my mentor - Pastor...Miss Linda.....

She replied with a prayer....

Lord, she is anxious to be the other half of him. To have that special love relationship that says you are approved of all the time. Nothing should be held back - that she is a part of his very business and life. She feels the intensity in her heart - that is the way it is suppose to be -- that she will have that relationship with her husband. 
Lord, she will have that. Lord, once the healing and recovery have taken place...when he is able to forgive everyone, including himself and move on...it will happen. Lord, he has to come to this conclusion by himself...You can't flip on the light switch with any special word or insight, in fact - he will maybe even resist more - just because he knows exactly how she feels already. He wants to be the head, he knows he is not and he is taking his frustration out on her...but he will turn to God and finally LAY it all down at YOUR feet - but it has to be his idea. 
Lord, I pray she will keep trusting God to instruct herself and him and to discipline his child ( Bren ). God you know how to lay it out plainly. It may GET harder before he submits - as he has been spoiled. God put these two together, HE has a plan. 
Once the enemy is thrown out of the mix, great and mighty things will happen. It will be exciting and wonderful - you are actually perfect for each other. Lord, I just can't wait to see what you will do with them as ONE in YOU...I will laugh at Satan and how he tried to defeat them. He is the one who will wonder what happened and it will bite him on the butt- big time. Love you, Linda.....

That prayer was said over and over!

God answered that prayer.

I am the other half of a stronger but GOD ordained union. It feels great.  
It is still HARD at times, but God wins.  

So, I share this today -- to remind someone that will read it - DON'T give up. 
God does change people. 
God does honor marriage.
God does hear your prayers. 
God has a plan. 


Psalm 37 3Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 
Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart.  

7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him, do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. GOD will win!!