Marriage is HARD. Bold Prayers for actions Day #13

Traveling + jet lag +  ear drum popping + NyQuil = a very groggy Michelle.  
I got back into the groove yesterday with working out at the gym,   with my dear trainer, however, I  failed to stretch  and my muscles are reminding me that I am 52 and not 25.   It literally hurts to go to the bathroom - those one legged squats or leg lifts -- whatever they were.....!!!  Ouch!!  

 And as I  laid awake trying to figure out if I was really sick or just plain exhausted,  I sought God and asked Him about today's blog post.  He was quiet.  Rest.  I needed rest.  And I prayed and He brought me to this blog I wrote back in March of 2016.  As I read and read it again, I questioned myself as to WHAT was my motivation or problem that got me blogging??    After my  usual check on Facebook to see what was going on in the 'real' world -- I  noticed a post that had several people commenting.  

"Christians".  That seems to be a label that gets many into trouble.  Yesterday, I read a dear young mom's rant about how Christians hate and how it bothered her.  Isn't that an oxymoron?    A Christ like person who hates?  And today, there was a rant about Christians who judge and the scriptures debating whether alcohol will get you  to hell or if a bar stool was better than a church pew.  It really hurt my heart to read.  Hence....I came back to some older blogs and asked God to direct me.  

As  I blogged at the beginning of this series...God created marriage.

  There are SO many blessings and favor when we do things the way God intended.  I have seen it over and over and I do believe that one of the contributing factors to the hardships within our own marriage is the  simple fact that we did not start our marriage within the guidance of God's Word.  We obeyed only the parts of God's Word that we wanted to.  We justified everything else.  We were young.  And that is not an excuse.    Maybe we  figured God 's Word did not apply to us and yet,  that is not  true either -- we did know His Word - we just choose not to obey it.  Both of us were brought up to know  the order in which God asks us to follow.    And THAT probably is not the 'single' contributing factor  for  our troubles....but I realize, God couldn't bless our union at that time.     This may sound very judgmental or prudish and yet, it is a subject that has become very lax with our present generation.  If there is no intention of marriage....then it seems "ok" to live together, enjoy the benefits of co-habituating and yet, not even understand what a covenant is  or the purpose of marriage.   As well as  the opposite is true, if there is intention on marriage, there is this lax attitude about being roommates to see if it works. Either way, this is not what God intended, nor is it healthy for any relationship.  Marriage is to be scared.  The marriage bed is to be scared as well.  Too often that emotion of  passion  is opened way too soon.  

 Abortions would probably be a thing of the past.... if truly...all of us...didn't open up the sexual desires until we were older, knowledgeable,  and married.   There are still women and men today ...that are 50+ and  suffering because of mistakes and choices they made as young people.   I know of several.   It is very hard to see a believer that is not free of his or her past.  Truly, there is only freedom in Christ when we can get to that place of understanding our identity in Him.  Again -- God was there...and I know He hurt as much as they did...but He couldn't bless those situations because God is God.  He can redeem those situations though! 

A daily reminder of our blessings!!

 There wouldn't be needy  and hurting women if they truly had some godly men in their lives  as children that taught them, guided them, loved them,  and allowed them to be children to learn and grow before they were abused or neglected.             ( Either by their father or another!)   And if those young boys had mothers that were healthy in their own selves to teach them-- to show compassion, to love,  and allowed them to be boys -- our world would be different.  So often children are cursed instead of being blessed.  

  So often we as women,  we  train our men instead of training our children.  We are in a broken world.  And this blog is not a debate or a tirade of how bad our childhood was. Please don't judge my examples -- I had a good child hood, the best one my parents could give me.  I am just speaking from a heart who has heard a lot of stories and it is sad, but I work with children on a daily basis who are suffering because of the broken world. 


But that word "Christian" and what is expected-- if you are labeled that -- really hit me today. 

 Do people judge me?  Do people feel that because I will let a cuss word slip here or there....my testimony or my prayers are any less heard? 

Maybe now that I was transparent and shared our  premarital sin on this blog you will think twice about reading anything else from me?  God does redeem and we are forgiven when we are remorseful with godly sorrow.  We are redeemed.   And I truly believe that now...we are seeing FRUIT within our marriage and our lives because we have been totally committed to GOD....fully...for the past  7-8 years now.  Perhaps that is simply because we are older and have experienced a bit more, but I must believe that the younger marriages can figure this out sooner and learn from our mistakes.   No more roller coaster with our faith nor our tithe.  Yep,  I put that in there -- our tithe.  No more robbing God.   We do use His Words as our manual.  But...we are still human and we fail.  And I share and say all this - NOT to brag, I am just trying to be real and remind you, remind myself that God rewards obedience.  He loves us that much -- HE knows what is best for us.  

And I fail big time -- daily.  

 Maybe  we need a new word..."Christian believers in action" and /or "Christian sitters".  ???   The way I see it at times,  those people being hateful...well, I do question if they truly are saved.  I do.  Sometimes I think people 'sit' on the fact that they walked an aisle when they were a kid and that 'covers' stuff.   Maybe....  

When my husband and I were separated....I did question his salvation.  I judged him.  I basically believed that notion --and it helped me sleep -- he HAD to be headed to hell -- that would be the ONLY reason he was tearing our family apart. 

  It is very interesting to me,  that in that time, God gave me a scripture for him.  Romans 8: 38-39 to be exact.   I would ask that you look it up -- it put me in my place. 

 And yet... I questioned God!     I will probably be thinking and speaking to God about this "Christian" label on and off until I see HIM directly.  But it got me thinking today.  

Our actions DO speak louder than our words.  

I don't have the answers -- but I know a god who does.  The God.  Jesus Christ.  Holy Spirit.  God's Word will show me.  Yesterday I caught up on Beth Moore's tweets for the past month.  Interesting.  Again, she and many other speakers of this present time are giving  us full warning. 

 We need to KNOW God's Word to be active in our faith.  WE also need to speak with His love showing Grace and Mercy -- but we can't water down what it states in the Gospel.  Is stuff good or is it God?  There will be good people in hell. 

Anyway, I believe I have spoken my thoughts enough.  Funny, I sat down to compose this and felt God was just letting me share an older blog.  It would be quick and short ( like any of my blogs are short - ha).   And yet,  the Holy Spirit continued to write my heart.  And off went my fingers trying to type and keep up as the Holy Spirit kept speaking and talking back to me.  

 Authenticity for all, transparency for some, intimacy for a few.  Seems, this forum, this blog today,  is pretty --intimate--- today.   For that, either try to understand me or forgive me.  I did have my husband read and edit this with me, as this was indeed a personal blog.  However, we both feel that there is a lack of speaking truth in love.  Perhaps knowing that we are not perfect, nor claim to be....will help just one.

Today's prayer --

I pray that the ACTIONS of the Christian women and /or Christian men within the marriages around me...ACT as God wants them to act. 

 Pure and simple Lord,  because I do believe that WHEN we are acting in a marriage with GOD at the center ...we CAN work through things and a Christian marriage can be a standard and a model for our broken world. 
 Period. 
 In Jesus Name, 
 Amen.  

So, here is that blog from sixteen months ago.  You may need to get another cup of coffee or a lemonade, but I do pray this 2nd half of this blog today speaks to the one it was intended for.  

If you have ever felt that you have 'grieved' the Holy Spirit - maybe this will help you see something within God's Word.  

- Humbled, Michelle 

And PS, I do fail, daily.  My husband continually seeks God within our family and our marriage and has become a role model for our three kids and for me.  He challenges me and I am very proud to count on him when I am seeking God for answers and so forth.  I know God did bless our marriage, because I see the fruit or speak to them each day. 

 I pray that my comments about 'God not blessing' did not offend or hinder the message within this blog.  God can bring beauty from ashes.  And I know God did bless our marriage throughout our 31 years, we just happen to be in a  very good season right now-- and praising God for that.    We see many dearly loved couples and people that are serving and seeking God and yet - their children or their lives are still be attacked and torn up.  

  But we are also taking actions to STAY in that season.  It is not easy ...believe me, between menopause, retiring, and just seeking God in WHAT He wants us to do next....the enemy is alive and trying.   I don't feel anyone has that PERFECT marriage and when I see the posts on FB about my 'husband being my BFF' ...I tend to wonder if the wife is stating that as   a prayer request.  I have been there.  But, it is a good feeling to be able to be intimate with your spouse and trust him or her.  

 At the end of this 2nd half of the blog, Beth challenges us -- I do pray you will read to its end or come back to this later today and finish it. 

But I just wanted to give some shout out and praise to my man. He is funny and he is entering a new season as well.  I totally believe God has me interceding for him as this transition takes place.  God has reminded me that I have 'slacked' off in my earnest prayers for him.  I   honestly wouldn't trade any part of the past 30+ years...cause it GOT us here.  Moving forward.  God wins! - Michelle 

3-16-2017
So, Holy Spirit has been speaking to me -- HE speaks to me often.  I know I don't grieve Him anymore - at least NOT on purpose, but I grieved a bit this past week --

I have grieved over some actions.

God draws us near.  He wants fellowship with us.  I know and realize that many are at 'different stages' of this life.  Some are just getting by - only by the grace of God.

Some have it all figured out.
Some will come to this blog, read only a bit of it and think..."I don't have time for that"..... and yet, others are hungry and searching.

 Some don't even know God.

  But I do...

After wandering in the wilderness for some 38 years -- my eyes were opened and a veil was removed.    It took a Crisis of Faith, but it opened my eyes.  He has changed me.  I want THAT for anyone and everyone  within my circle of friends, family, and  the strangers around me.

Jesus did give us all a commandment - to LOVE all...and to LOVE God above all others.  Jesus also gave us a commission -- to share HIM with others.

One day we will stand before Him and be judged on WHAT we did do for Him...with Him...and sadly...where we failed in THAT department.

 Praise God I have a perfect lawyer to plead by case -- Jesus, but I want more.  I want to hear, "well done by good and faithful one".     As I tell myself, I want to hear God say, "atta girl".  

With that -- I choose to live my life and I pray, as I am NOT perfect, that my LIFE reflects my walk with HIM and for HIM.

That includes my circle of friends....my work place... even when I walk into the Comcast office and fuss about my slow internet...I am representing HIM???  Lord, I pray I have.  Forgive me when I have fallen short.



And that.. has grieved me.
As this past week, I have witnessed  several incidents  that  have grieved me....cause some people  did not act Christ like.

And they have  proclaimed to be Christians.....and those that are on the fence,  that are watching them, and  questioning this entire "Christian thing" have voiced and stated  thinking, "if THAT is Christian behavior...then how am I any different?" 

Is it not true?

  Have you been hurt before by the 'Christian' acts of another?
  Men/  Women/ Friends/ Lovers/  Spouses/ Humans will fail us - the only perfected  one is Jesus.

I thought and thought about HOW to express this today and then...of course, HE provides in His Word. And, each Saturday I am sitting under Beth Moore doing a Bible Study and she is a bit influential  as well!   But it was truly God's Word that spoke.  It was God's timing as He knew what had transpired this week, and Yet, He also knew, I would come to 2 Corinthians 4!


2nd Corinthians 4 = Is God's Word.
The Red =  These are my thoughts.....

1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.
Christians are not to lose heart -- that means our actions should not appear as if they have lost heart!  Why are you speaking death??  

2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways: we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God.  We should always speak truth.  We should not lie.  If we have stated we would be someplace to so something - keep our word.  Be there.  If we have stated we would pay or do something for someone - do it.  Don't give excuses or forget -- make your word a meaningful one.  Do not distort God's Word.  Do not 'adjust' it to fit Your present needs.   On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commit  ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.  Our word should be our word.   Don't lie.  Don't lie.  Don't tell half truths.  Don't.

3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.  4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.  The god of this age is Satan, who holds power over much of the activity in this world - for now.  However it is temporary and conditional.  He continues only as God allows.  ONLY as God allows.   Which will present you and I with a choice...   Those of us that know Christ must realize that because people are blinded to the truth, we need to view them through God's eyes of mercy.  It maybe easier to get upset with another because of their actions -- we must remember that Christ showed humility and compassion for us. 

 The Holy Spirit will enable us to do our work and deal with those that are blinded.....but WHAT about those of us that have proclaimed their veil was removed?     

 Those are the ones that will grieve the Holy Spirit when they know what is not of Him and do it anyway....   sometimes their 'cherished sin'....is still cherished. 
 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.  6 For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the gift of knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power if from God and not from us.  But we....did you hear that -- BUT..WE ... BUT me... BUT you... have this treasure....   we may experience a sense of frailty and vulnerability caused by anxiety, fear, grief and weakness; yet, because of God's treasure within us  we are not defeated. 

 We have been called to a crucified life with Christ -- but we don't walk around like we are full of pity...powerlessness...and woe's me...  we are MORE than conquerors through Him  ( Romans 8.37) and that in our weakness, troubles and suffering, it will  open up an opportunity for Christ's love, power, and life to be revealed in us.  We die to self...to be filled with Him.  So WHEN we proclaim to be HIS...ACT like it...
 ...be true to your word -- 
...speak truth --
...do what you said you were going to do --
...get into a body of believers and be a part of His Kingdom --
...do not follow a man to this or that place of worship....get into your home church, the one HE has called you to and serve-- set an alarm and be at church -- 
...seek HIM and HIS Word , not another for affirmation and confirmation -- SEEK HIM --
...watch your tongue...there is power of life and death in it  ( Prov. 18.21)  
...be the person that glows so brightly with Jesus that others  WANT WHAT you have.....  
...we pray and act on what we don't see -- having faith....but, those that are veiled are watching -- don't even GIVE the appearance of EVIL....   the appearance...  1 Thess 5.22...stay away from the appearance of evil

8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair ;  
That word crushed is the Greek word Senchoreo which means to be constrained, to be restricted, to be unable to express oneself!!     Did you hear that?   Satan wants to keep us from expressing ourselves...to proclaim victory in the heat of being 'crushed'....  

God's Word is our life... our tool...
It is our loaded gun to fight the enemy.  We must read it, learn it, hide it in our hearts! 
I believe, therefore I speak .... this mountain will move!!  Lord, if it does not move, I will climb on top of it and get over it...  period!   ( Beth Moore's illustration today!) 
In Jeremiah 23.29 it says " 'Is not my word like FIRE,' declares the LORD"


Vs 13...   It is written: " I believed; therefore I have spoken,"  With that same Spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak,   Spirit = Pneuma....   but it also means breath...CPR... as we BELIEVE...we inhale His Words, and as we speak, we EXHALE His Words - And cast the burden upon God and His Word!  

God's words are omnipotent and our words are potent!  
That can be  GOOD and it can be something that GRIEVES HIM too...

I will not accept a powerless prayer life.  

"When are you going to make the Devil say "sorry" for messing with you or your family?" ...Beth Moore 

So....  

I started off stating I was grieved.  
I was.  I no longer am.  

Holy Spirit spoke, God's Word brought hope and I prayed.  I prayed for those that grieved me ...as I did judge or I assessed that their actions this past week -- were not Christ like. 

 However...... I am not their judge...I am not their mentor.... I am not their Jr. holy spirit...  
 God has them.   But, perhaps one reading this would stop and think...am I?

People are messy.  I am boldly proclaiming some stuff here and I know that I know, Satan will look for ANY loop hole to TRIP me up within the next 20 minutes once I post this.  He hates me.  

In the past month, Holy Spirit has cemented something within me and used several incidents and people to get it written PERMANENTLY within my head and heart....

I can't get my affirmation from my friends. 
I can't get my affirmation from my Christian friends. 
I can't get my affirmation from FaceBook. 
I can't get my affirmation from my children.
I can't get my affirmation from prayers being answered.
I can't get my  affirmation from my man.  
I can't get my affirmation from my man. 
I can't get my affirmation from my man- husband! 

It CAN ONLY BE from HIM.  Period.     

Period.  

Now, He has used my friends, my family, my man...and my kids and He has used FaceBook, and it so blesses me; but, Our Father has so clearly showed me again WHAT he wants me doing for Him. 

 I have a succinct life goal...  to be used by HIM and hear, "atta girl". 

 That  may look like many different things to the outside world, but I have peace as to WHAT it looks like - right now.   Amen.  

And I believe HE will continue to use my friends, family and so forth, but He needed me to truly understand and live and thrive  on affirmation from HIM only this past week. 

 Perhaps that is why my eyes and ears were so sensitive to other stuff and  please, if you live or work with me....don't read this and think, "what on earth is she fussing about?" 

The Holy Spirit will convict you if you read this and wonder.  In the scope of it all .....the certain situations and such have already worked themselves out and I trust that GOD is big enough!

I truly believe the Lord continually is RIGHT there - drawing  us and only until our hearts are open and ready....  will we see.  

For some of us, it takes a major crisis of faith  -- for others - what does it take?  

Are you there yet?  If you are reading this and reading the entire blog -- I would say you are very hungry or understand and perhaps asking yourself right now..."Lord, what is my succinct life goal? What do you want of me??" 

And, I know I only have to answer for myself --  my children are grown and adults.  They will answer to Jesus for their own choices, as their mother, I will always pray for them ...but, I don't get to write an excuse note for their behaviors.    ( And it was NOT my children that grieved me--just for any out there that are still trying to figure me out...LOL)  But, what I am trying to remind you, the reader,  of??   What has HE asked of you?  

What actions does He see?  

Who will God ask you to account for?    
I am thankful I am not a man - as my husband does have to stand and be accountable for his family....  but, my actions will be judged. 

 My life here on earth and what I do in the body of Christ...will be accounted for.  

And Lord, I pray I have not grieved you -- since the veil was taken off!!  

Who will God ask you about?  

Would God be pleased with Your actions?  
Would God be stating "well done"...if you proclaim to be His and yet...hold onto cherished sin?  

Or how about these questions?   
Are you crushed but not defeated?  
Persecuted but not abandoned?  
Struck down but not destroyed?  

Are Your spoken words - words of LIFE?  
Is there an appearance of sin within your 4 walls?  


What is Your succinct life goal?  

What about Your commissioned request? 

  Jesus commissioned ALL of us -- Matthew 25,  I believe -- nope...that is a good chapter; it is in Matthew 28 verse 19 ...go and make disciples of all nations -- 


Lord, that my life be like a love song to you and for you -- that I live a life worthy of Your calling - In Jesus name...amen.