Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Totally Trusting God - Part 2

On a dreary day back in April of 2011, I read my Jesus Calling for the day after a very hard day and read this: 

Dear Beloved, When I give you no special guidance, stay where you are. Concentrate on doing your everyday tasks in awareness of My Presence with you. The Joy of My Presence will shine on you, as you do everything for Me. Thus you invite Me into every aspect of your life. Through collaborating with Me in all things, you allow MY life to merge with yours. This is the secret not only of joyful living but also of victorious living. I designed you to depend on Me moment by moment, recognizing that apart from Me you can do nothing.
Be thankful for quiet days, when nothing special seems to be happening. Instead of being bored by the lack of action, use times of routine to seek My face. Although this is an invisible transaction, it speaks volumes in spiritual realms. Moreover, you are richly blessed when you walk trustingly with Me through the routines of your day. - Jesus

Colossians 3. 23 John 15.5 Psm 105.4

I don't know exactly WHAT transpired back on that day, but I do know that my husband and I were living in the same house, but counsel seemed to be getting no where

You see he was not happy.   He was not content or satisfied.   But, he was also allowing the enemy to steer his thoughts and he was in NO position to trust God.  He really did not even have a relationship with God then.

  From my perspective -- TOO much time had passed and I was SICK of waiting on God.  I was still so very lonely even though he was in the home.  But, God reminded me of what He asked of me.  

So, I wrote that Jesus Calling devotional into my journal and personalized it:

Dear Michelle, When I give you no special guidance, stay where you are. Concentrate on doing your everyday tasks in awareness of My Presence with you. The Joy of My Presence will shine on you, as you do everything for Me. Thus you invite Me into every aspect of your life. Through collaborating with Me in all things, you allow MY life to merge with yours. This is the secret not only of joyful living but also of victorious living. I designed you to depend on Me moment by moment, recognizing that apart from Me you can do nothing.
Be thankful for quiet days, when nothing special seems to be happening. Instead of being bored by the lack of action, use times of routine to seek My face. Although this is an invisible transaction, it speaks volumes in spiritual realms. Moreover, you are richly blessed when you walk trustingly with Me through the routines of your day. - Jesus

Colossians 3. 23 John 15.5 Psm 105.4

But today as I was praying and trying to give guidance to another, I found myself asking her -- do you TRUST God? 

Can you trust God to discipline that wayward hubby?
Can you trust God to discipline that baby daddy that won't help or seem to help?
Can you trust God to discipline that husband who has betrayed you and now won't follow up and provide? 
Can you trust God to discipline that child who continually seeks the world instead of your advice?
Can you trust God to hold you ..... still?
Can you trust God to provide...when it looks very pitiful?
Can you trust God to bring joy back into your life? 

I will tell you this -- YOU CAN Trust God and Jesus -- but you must LET Him be everything and deal with everything. 

I found this prayer that I wrote earlier this year: 

Dear Jesus, I believe I have stayed in Your Presence and yet, begged  for mercy and called  for Your steadfast love over and over,  here and there for the  past six years,  over and over.  And Lord, I am very aware of YOU  and YOUR presence every day in every little task.   Lord, I pray people can see the JOY you bring me.  All. The. Time.  Jesus, I pray that you can totally see that one of my MAIN goals is to always be in collaboration with You - doing what You ask of me.    God, I do believe I have experienced some JOYFUL   and victorious living!!  I do realize that I NEED you 24/7 and YOU are the only one that can totally fulfill me.  

And I am adding today -- Lord -- I want this precious woman of God, this sister in CHRIST to GET it ..to allow YOU to take over and I pray she will trust you - totally.  I pray she will allow you to 'work death' in her of what needs to be removed and then.....allow YOU to fill those spaces with Your Word, Your love and Your peace.  Lord, I pray for that one that wants to give up - I want to give up with her...but God -- MOVE...and HOLD...and SHOW... and let her know her waiting is not in vain.   Lord...move like only you can MOVE.  Lord, I release those I had a burden for today - I have prayed.  I know you will provide and answer and I know -- that I know -- You will win.  God... I want them SHOUTING as LOUD as they can...God won!!   

Until then....   just HOLD them...  IN Jesus name. 

So now it is YOUR turn -- God brought you to this blog for a reason.  
Do you trust Him?  
Can you?  

Learning to totally lean on God and trust everything into His hands is a process.  One that can be accomplished in time.  However, it can start today as well.   

I would ask you, do you trust God?   If you can't answer that or you know the answer is "NO", then I  would encourage you to find another to pray with you.  And face that question, "do I trust God ?".  If indeed you don't have a grasp on that question -- then it is really time to start and change up that walk with Him.  

So, I would encourage you today as I pray -- Lord, for the one that NEEDED to read and hear this Lord, I just pray that indeed there is a realization and awareness of the trust issues and then that she or he would reach out to their pastor or mentor/accountability partner and pray and be held accountable.  I know Lord you will provide them with the RIGHT path or people to meet - just like you do for me every day, I pray he or she will shout, God won!    In Jesus name.  

Friday, August 11, 2017

God Won - Number 7 is complete.

This is a photo that was placed on the paperwork and promotional fliers  for Grandma and Grandpa Africa as they left for their missionary work in Ghana, Africa back in 1952.

Their real names were Rev. Edwin Ziemann and Mrs. Bernice Ziemann.

My mother-n-law is on the left.

Grandpa went to heaven  over 15+ years ago and Grandma joined him some 5+ years ago. 

IF ONLY I could of spoken to them today, this early AM when the Lord has awoken me for something. 

There has been an overflow....

If you read this  blog on a regular basis, you will notice that I have been a BIT quiet since July 21st.  I hate to repeat myself but when my thoughts become an actual blog - it is always Holy Spirit guided and at 2:03 as I woke this morning, I could not sleep.  I did the usual - went to the bathroom, the pork nachos I had for supper were reminding me that my body does not do barb-b-que well, and I even prayed.   I headed back to bed and then Holy Spirit began to speak again to get up --

As I calculated the amount of sleep I had in my bones, I asked the Lord, 'What?'.....

The Holy Spirit also reminded me through a very LOUD memory of what Beth Moore stated recently in a Living Proof Weekend event--"go ahead, sleep that extra 45 minutes and skip your quiet time with God while Satan comes for your children.  Go ahead, sleep  or watch that TV program while Satan comes and destroys your family and takes your marriage.  God ahead, and use whatever excuse you have -- and when the enemy comes, what will you fight with?"   

 We have so many idols and STUFF that we believe we must do and yet, we are not taking the  TIME to be with God.  How on earth will we know what He wants us to do or how to respond if we don't KNOW His Word?  

I was reminded,  do I have a holy fear of God??   Will I obey?   

I am in still such a Jesus high from a Women's God Encounter Weekend, that many of my alone moments are spent rethinking the glory that fell those 3 days up in Titusville.  I praise and Thank God for the one who lead our Intercessory Prayer Team -- who knew she was going to be busy at this time of year, probably welcoming in her first grandchild into the world as I type.  I praise and Thank God for a Pastor and Elder team of wonderful godly souls that trusted Holy Spirit in me to work through my crazy lists and quirks and believe that this tool God has placed in my lap for a season -- accomplishes what it sets out to do.  Set. Women. Free.  And I am forever grateful for the covering of my husband and his prayers, my accountability partners who ask tough questions and for those who just serve this event by being obedient to what I ask them to do -- or what God has asked them to do. 

I will tell you this - that weekend was INCREDIBLE - I am humbled and just in AWE of HIS power.  I am well aware of HIS healing power, HIS majesty, and HIS divine appointing and time...but to be able to witness when another in Christ gets set free.....WHOA!   The Earth moved!

Hearts changed. People changed.  Families changed. 

It was not just one who  got healing or a breakthrough  .....
...it was 32 women....32 women all experienced a direct ENCOUNTER with their heavenly Father and EACH got a filling, each received what they truly asked for whether they were there as a guide or a recipient to find some healing.  As we witnessed, there is healing in His Presence! 

 Including ME!

Some fell in love with Jesus for the first time, others finally figured out HOW to love HIM, others needed to fall deeper...
All forgave something or someone, many forgave MAJOR hurts ...and even today - the layers of the onion are STILL being peeled off!
And many received an extra dose of POWER once they asked to receive it!

Back to that photo above with Grandma and Grandpa in Africa.
A story shared around an evening meal so long ago has  not been forgotten.   Grandma and Grandpa  told the story---is of a time when Grandpa went to Upper Volta and visited a village that had a man in STOCKS outside in their courtyard.  He has been there for years.  His skin had begun to grow around the stocks and Grandpa asked as to why he was there.

He was 'crazy' or had demons.

I believed the story RIGHT away -- cause it was Africa...that happens in Africa....not here..........

I can almost see Grandpa sharing it as he sat on the dinner or supper table with me in my Kohl's uniform and Brendan sitting next to me.  We were in college.  It was a Thursday night.  We would drive to Watertown together, have tenderloin  at their house, I would go to work and Bren would visit with her Grandparents and stay there the weekend ---as his parents had moved to Florida.  I would travel back to Whitewater that evening and return to school,  and Bren would  return to Whitewater as well if he had a Friday class.  otherwise  he stayed with them for the weekend and I had to drive back to Watertown anyway the next evening.  My work schedule there, at Kohl's grocery store,  was every weekend.  Every weekend -  Wow...so many years ago -- over 30! 

 Back to the story, Grandpa knew the village was to pray and fast for some time, overnight.  They did.  In the morning, Brendan's Grandpa prayed over the man and stated he should be released from the STOCKS and he was and he was no longer 'crazy'....he was healed.  HE was a new person.

Praise God.

God did that.  The obedience of the village and their prayers helped open the windows of heaven.

Can you imagine how his family felt?
Can you imagine the joy...and that man became a man of God.

He went to school and became a preacher.

God USES us..our messes become a message.  Our tests become our testimonies.   There is a HEALING in a wounding....

So if Grandma and Grandpa were here,  today, I would rejoice with them and we'd talk about that story and I would then begin to tell them of what I witnessed....in 32 women.....

Many were finally SET free of those STOCKS!

Whether Satan's demons are in ya...on ya...or around ya....that is a matter of geography...oppression was  and can be VERY apparent in the countenance of anyone.  But God can set us free!  

It was a TREMENDOUS event -I want to share more, but  can't.  I am humbled at HIS glorious provision and WHAT HE does. What is shared, what happens there - stays there.  Only a person who attended can share their testimony and here is mine: 

God wins ALL the time.

What did God do for me? 

First and foremost, the timing of this Encounter was hard.  You would think that the end of summer would be a good time to have some 30+ women travel north, but the enemy  - as usual- did not want August 4-6 to happen.  The lists of 'frustrations' were long, but we prevailed and  God overcame.  Intercessory prayer began 10 weeks prior and the service and obedience of the leaders and the prayer warriors certainly made the difference in this weekend.  We were in HIS Presence the entire 3 days!  

He, God,  brought forth revelation to me using His Word and the book of Habakkuk.   In Titusville, he had me reading the entire book but specifically he had me Chapter 2, verses 2-3.   I marveled at what  I learned and relearned as I read and tried to jot down some notes, but in  reality  -- Holy Spirit asked us to NOT write notes and to trust Him.

That has happened to me before, but NOT like this Encounter.  In fact, several of the speakers each had the same experience in prepping for their speaking part, where God asked them to speak from their heart, allowing Him to speak through them.

  Habakkuk 2. 2-3 And the Lord answered me:
“Write the vision;
    make it plain on tablets,
    so he may run who reads it.
For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
    it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
    it will surely come; it will not delay.

 As with the women that attended, there are  also women around me, that are in an extreme difficult season and place.  I have been in a season where I wanted the answers.  I wanted a husband's behavior and choices to change.  I wanted to shake off the horrible feeling of rejection.  I wanted to be fought for.   I even wanted the Lord to call me home --- 

And in the midst of that, a godly therapist gave me Habakkuk 3. 17-19 

Though the fig tree should not blossom,
    nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
    and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
    and there be no herd in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
    I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
19 God, the Lord, is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the deer's;
    he makes me tread on my high places.

There is Rhema word from God  for me through those verses.  Maybe this blog will minister to you as well today.  A rhema word is where you believe God is directly speaking to YOU!  

 God's Word is alive and active  -- 

So HE spoke:   write out your prayers, use your words - they have the power of life and death.   You may not see the victory you want at the moment...but wait for the appointed time.   God will not prove false  

And in the 2nd part, in Chapter 3:    even though there DOES not seem to be any good being produced at the moment - by you, your spouse, or your children -- and there is a lack of provisions now in finances or even in spiritual nourishment  -- and even though a job may fail, a marriage may fail, or something else may fail.......  and even if ALL of your children are not living for the lord ---

yet -- I will be joyful in God my Savior.  HE HAS to BE ALL!   And verse 19 speaks for itself - God will enable you to endure and go on into the great heights....... 

Forgive my misuse of ellipses and lack of comma rules -- I was or am trying to just get this expressed and I type like I talk --  

As I prepared for the Encounter and organized a beautiful support team, I prayed and I questioned my worth, my value, and I even questioned if I was to move from this  season into some thing else.  All those questions were worked through with God.  He spoke mightily over and over and confirmed much, but He also blessed my obedience.  

On the 7th day of August -- after leading my 7th Encounter -- and 7 years since the Lord opened my eyes, God brought forth a final circumstance where I knew that I knew -- I know that I know...IT is finished.  And the year is 2017....  17 is the number of VICTORY.  

 The Monday after we returned from Titusville, God orchestrated and  timed out something that occurred in the Publix parking lot that has released in me -- pure victory.  I was able  to seek forgiveness from the one "whom I thought" caused all the pain.  I was able to apologize.  

 Years ago, I knew and had victory that it wasn't one persons fault -- it was something that happened, that God allowed - to bring me to a place where I NEEDED HIM.  And, I am grateful.  My husband and I often laugh and state - what it took to get us BOTH in a place where we can be ONE in HIM.  This second  part, this new season  of  marriage is better and stronger and full of love  -- full of respect ---something we both had NO idea was possible seven years ago!  

 Now I have had several years of healing but I had NO idea of what God could now reveal as He "removed another layer of the onion".    I had to apologize for my self-righteous judgement and arrogant self.  I had to seek forgiveness for being a woman with such a self-righteous attitude that I literally judged another life.  At the time, I was angry - but God's word states we are not to sin in our anger.  But I have seen the 'other side'  of something.  God has given me grace  to see what  "THAT"  side may have been like.  God has given me the opportunity to watch women time after time come to the cross and lay down their burdens and seek Him for healing.   Adultery is symptom of other stuff.  Alcoholism is a symptom of a deeper hurt.  Idolatry is a symptom of something else.  Pride will kill you -- you can't go to heaven with a prideful heart -- the bible is FULL of warnings -- looking at everything with an eternal perspective is what we must do.  And we must humble ourselves.  

Everyone sins.   Many of us have committed adultery against our God.  We have loved and searched and sought after so many things -- and disregard that first commandment -- "you shall love no other gods but me".     As Beth Moore often says,  "there is NO one that was deeper in a pit than I!".  

 I understand that.  My sin -- put Jesus on the cross.  My sin.  Each of us will stand one day before HIM and be judged. That is the only judge.  Forgive me. 

And with that, Tuesday God gave me some insight into something -- Wednesday as well.  The Holy Spirit has an open notebook in my brain right now ...writing and speaking...  and refining me.  I will have to blog about this another time, but God showed me how I was in rebellion against someone  -- 
-- that blog --- the Holy Spirit will have to write another morning as HE is still revealing MUCH to me.  And, I know that I know....obedience brings rewards.  Last night -- our daughter let us blow up these balloons to know the 'gender' of our grand baby inside of her -- she is having a girl.  

THAT...... has me so full of joy this morning as well.  God fulfilled the desire of her heart.  She admits, they really thought it would be a boy.  My son in love wanted a boy -- but it was the desire of her heart to have a girl.  Her blessing -- is my confirmation.....   obedience brings rewards.  

Not that I follow and love God for the blessings.  
I love and serve God for WHAT he did on that Cross and for WHO He is....not for WHAT he can do for me!         

THAT is another blog -- 

Lord, for the women who traveled to Titusville in obedience to you -- the leaders, the recipients and even the prayer intercessors -- bless them today.  May their armor be up and on as they FIGHT the arrows being sent by the enemy.  Lord, many are in a STATE of transition - believing in You and yet weak in the faith walk, and yet they WANT more of you - may that happen today.  May they read their bible and get a rhema word.  Lord, that they will honor the request of getting an accountability partner and may those that take the challenge -- be that godly woman who indeed  --holds them accountable.  Lord, for those changing habits -- help.  For those having to change a life style and stay pure - help.  For those who hurts were left at the Cross but the consequences are still being realized -- help.  Lord for the HOPE you gave each of them, may they be like those deer that are planted FIRMLY on the side of the mountain.  In fact Lord, I know you created those deer with EXTRA muscles in their back legs and the ability to GRIP that side of the mountain and not fall -- 
So I know you CREATED these women with those same 'hind feet"....may they grip and realize they won't fall with YOU -- IN Jesus name.