Friday, October 21, 2011

HE is my right hand . .

This is from Girlfriends in God and it was TOO good not to reshare . . . .I had a few insights as well after I read this - thank you Lord! 

Today’s Truth

Fear not … I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you… (Isaiah 43:1-2)

  • Friend to Friend
  • While walking into the opening session of a marriage conference that we had been looking forward to, his cellphone rang. He answered the call and we took our seats. As the emcee kicked off the weekend with gracious greetings, my husband, Brad, leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Preston fell on a rock at camp and is on his way to urgent care to get stitches in his chin.” He took my hand and whispered again, knowing from my expression that I was alarmed, “It’s just a few stitches. He’ll be okay, honey.”
  • My stomach flip-flopped. We locked eyes and shared pain – both wounded in the heart for our firstborn son. This was not the way we had imagined that our weekend away would begin. As the session began, my momma-bear instincts kicked in and my mind reeled. Though he was a hundred miles away and though he’s a man-cub teenager, I ached to be by Preston’s side while the doctor stitched up his chin. I am always by his side when he gets hurt. Yet, there was comfort in knowing that this was “just a few stitches.”
  • As that first session came to a close in prayer, Brad’s cell phone invaded the quiet. He leapt up and left the room swiftly to get an update on Preston. Right behind him, I asked repeatedly, “What are they saying? Is everything okay?”
  • “He said that Preston broke his jaw,” Brad said with a tone of disbelief. Again he said, “The x-rays showed that he broke his jaw. I can’t believe this. They need us to come get him and take him to Charlotte. He might need surgery.”
  • Gripped by his words, I struggled to think clearly, “A broken jaw? Surgery? It was just supposed to be a few stitches! Well – it’s probably just a small fracture. I really hate that I’m not with him right now…” Bags were packed quickly and by the time darkness fell on North Carolina, Charlotte was on the horizon.
  • The next several hours were a blur of doctors, x-rays, CAT scans and surgery plans. Bad went to worse as we learned that Preston didn’t just break his jaw… he broke his jaw in three places, and, as the doctor phrased it, “he pretty much broke his jaw as bad as you can break a jaw.” Nice.
  • Surgery began and the wait was on… and on… and on. The heart-distance between the operating room and the waiting room was a thousand miles. It killed me to not hold his hand and stroke his hair while his jaw was reconstructed for seven and a half hours.
  • In the wee hours of the morning, surgery was complete and Preston was wheeled to his room. Brad and I rushed to his side as they brought him to his room and though he was heavily sedated, I reached for his hand and assured him, “Preston! I’m right here! I’m right by your side. I will stay here beside you. I know you’re in pain, buddy, but you’re going to heal well now. I’m right here and I love you.” His eyes flickered open for a split second to let Brad and I know that he heard our love then he drifted back to post-surgical sleep.
  • Several times an hour the nurses came in to check his vitals. I hadn’t slept in nearly a day and was thoroughly exhausted, but each time a nurse entered the room I leapt to his side and whispered to my wounded child, “I’m right here, Preston! I’m right here. You’re not alone.”
  • After the third or fourth time of reassuring Preston of my presence, I lay back down and whispered to God, “Lord, please heal my son! Please heal him.” And in the still of the night, in the quietness of my bleeding momma-heart, my soul sensed Him whispering right back to me, “I’m right here, Gwen! I’m right here. For him. For you. You’re not alone.”

Peace. I heard the voice of Peace speak His presence and tenderness into my pain. He heard me. He knew of my plight. He knew I needed a word of encouragement. Not an audible word – just a heart whisper. He was right by my side. I knew it as I remembered His Word, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Peace.

Michelle - me has to add this:    I have been in situations where I have felt so totally hopeless and felt like I did not deserve God's right hand . . that was a lie from the Enemy.  WE all deserve HIS  love and HIS healing and HE will -- but you must TRUST HIM. 

There are times when your heavy heart-burdens cry so loudly that you struggle to hear the voice of Peace. Times when your prayers seem to go unanswered and your broken situations seem unfixable … and painful. Oh, so painful! We all know ache. We can’t get through this life without knowing ache. The Bible says that not a tear falls from your eye that isn’t known to God. (Psalm 56:8)

Michelle - Me has to add this:  I remember back in June of 2010.  The hurt in my family was quite fresh.  As a family we traveled to Lousiana for HP's soccer tourney.  It was going to be a trip for the 3 of us.  HP, TP and I but, as God worked on my heart, I knew that Brendan wanted to come and should be there.  As hard as it was to 'act' as a family for that week, for each hurt and for each happiness -- God was RIGHT there.  HE sustained us all.  HIS word was comfort.   It was one of the most difficult weeks I have ever experienced but it had to be.  It had to be, because God was doing a work.  Trust HIM to know that the hard part is hard . . but it can be  overcome if you will allow God to really work on you and change what needs to be changed.  I look back now -- I have an 'experience' to illustrate how HIS love does heal.  How HE can be our right hand and HOW HE does come close to the broken hearted.  So if you are reading this right now and thinking . . . .just know, DON'T give up.  Fight for your family,  Fight against the Enemy and know that HE  knows every tear and HE catches every tear and holds them.  HE knows. 

He knows all about your heart-burdens. He knows that you need a word of encouragement today. Hear His whisper now, friend. Whispers from His Word … from His heart, “I will never leave you or forsake you. I know your name and have engraved it on the palm of my hand. I hold your tears in a bottle and ache with you. My grace is sufficient and I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. I’m right here.” (Deuteronomy 31:6, Psalm 139, Psalm 56:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9, John 16:33)

Michelle - me has to add this:  HIS word does bring life and it does comfort.  Try it.  Just try it. 

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, Thank You for reminding me that You are always with me, that You see me, and that You hear my prayers. Please help me to know deeper levels of peace today.  Lord, thank you for your loving touch and for grabbing each tear.  Lord, I continue to see the work you are doing in the lives of my children and my man and me and the people around us.  You know Lord I want to let your light shine in me.  There is a special young woman within my life that is hurting and is in the middle of an attack.  She loves her family and her man and yet, the Enemy is doing a work.  I pray right now that YOUR wisdom comes all over her.  I pray she will fight for YOU an allow YOU to do the  work and in the meantime, that she would grab ahold of you and allow YOU to comfort every part of her being.  amen. 
Thank you Lord. 

In Jesus’ Name,



Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Life is all about being perfect . .right?  
Just got to thinking -- how funny and how perfect this photo is.  Then I got to thinking about today and all that transpired to me and others.  Anyway. . . . .I tell my students that when something is not working or hard, it is time to solve the problem.  No sour grapes.  No pouting . . .life stinks at times and move forward . .so, I will move forward.  

Amen ...Sorry,  This is going to be a random post.  My thoughts are jumbled.  I am over tired and getting sick but I just wanted to write and vent and share.  So some random thoughts.  

1.  Ok, this was a great day with a great service at church and great prayer time and then BAM -- the Enemy hits and hit hard.  BUT  ... .even on my worst day or even when I act the worst, I am still deeply loved and treasured by my God.  Wow.  Nothing I do will have HIM love me less.  Nothing.  There is GREAT comfort in that!  

2.  Weeds  . . . So many metaphors and analogies that one could make with weeds.  Quite simply, we moved and are renting a very nice home but the weeds around the home are beginning to drive me nuts.  Brendan insists . . .'its a rental'  but still they drive me crazy.  With Soccer season in full force it is hard to be home on a Saturday and so last Sunday, I got a hankering and got one part of the front weeded and it FELT great to pull things out and get ride of others.  A good weed whacking is therapy!  

3.  Having proper tools.  As I was weeding, I had to cut out a dead stump of a tree or bush.  I am unsure of what it was as I said it was dead.  I pulled and proded and I also tried to cut the thick stem with a knife but I did not have the proper tools. I went to Wally World to get a snipper but had no luck -- Christmas decorations filled the Lawn and Garden Section.  So anyway, I went back to digging it up, and I dug about  18 inches down and still could not get to the bottom of the root.  I had to walk away - I needed different tools.    

That is sort of like God  - I mean, when we have something buried deep or something that has taken root in our lives, it is not easy to just get rid of it  Sometimes the roots run deep, but with the proper tools - HIS word, one can overcome! 

4.  School.  Great.  Fun.  I LOVE my new job and each day I learn new things.  It is also fun seeing how a different county operates and functions and we are a Charter School which has different things as well.  And I LOVE my job.  

5.  Soccer.  HP started this week with High School Soccer.  Brendan is so happy cause now they may only drive to Boca one day a week instead of 2.  Yeah!  

6.  Church.  Have I mentioned that my church is pretty cool?  We just started a video series with follow up from John Bevere called the Bait of Satan - powerful.    I hate the Enemy!  

7.  Fitness FActory.  Love that place -- really?  No, I do like it and I have a friend that literally kicks my butt 3x a week and I pay her to do that - can you imagine? 

8  Therapy:   Therapy is good.  I mean it is a hard good.  I would never consider going to an auto mechanic to get my tooth looked at nor would I go to a store clerk to have them suggest a car to buy.  I would go to the expert.  I would see my cure handsome dentist to deal with my teeth and then head to the nearest Honda dealership for my car.  But this made me think as often as God heals and HE does quickly, He also uses other believers and HIS body for counsel as well.  And HE has many professionals that are Christians that help as well.  Therapy is good.  Or you may call it counsel, either way - it is good.  I tell everyone now . . .seek professional help .... don't let the Enemy win!  

9.  God is awesome.  Need I say more?  

10.  I am humbled that HE finds me so esteemed and highly favored.  HE is my Rock and My Prince.  

Thank you Lord for the random stuff - now help me sleep!  

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

God always answers

Just when one can allow the Enemy to tell them they are JUST not cutting it .. . .and they are mixed up . . God comes in and does a rescue.
HE gave me a great dream/vision/illustration of how HE HOLDs me and then, I open up my Jesus Calling Devotional today and get this:

Awe ...  Thank you Lord.

Dear Beloved, go gently through this day, keeping your eyes on ME.  I will open the way before you, as you take steps of trust along your path.  Sometimes the way before you appears to be blocked.  If you focus on the obstacle or search for a way around it, you will probably go off course.  Instead, focus on Me, the Shepherd who is leading you along your life – journey.  Before you know it, the 'obstacle' will be behind you and you will hardly know how you passed through it.  That is the secret of success in MY kingdom. Although you remain aware of the visible world around you, your primary awareness is of ME.  When the road before you looks rocky, you can trust ME to get you through that rough patch.  MY Presence enables you to face each day with confidence.  

  - The Holy Spirit

John 10: 14-15  Isa 26.7

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

death . .grieving . . .

  Dear  Beloved:  

What a title?  What a title!  
Death is natural.  It comes.  It has too.  For a new sprout or plant to germinate, the death of a seed must happen.  The caterpillar has to die to change, and we have to die to ourselves to change too.  Jesus' death lead to our eternal life. 

So what.  Who cares.  It hurts.  It is hard.  No disrespect here to my Lord - I am just in a FUNK today.  I believe the Enemy wanted to hate me even more today and he decided to pick.  But, I know that my God wins -- it just hurts in the mean time. 

Hurting is not that bad - it sort of cleans one out.  Why are we hurting?  Are we allowing Jesus to mend us? 

Death stinks too.  But, we all know - it is a part of life. 

In therapy, I have had to do some hard thinking.  Sometimes it is easier to put things under a rug or stuff them and then just move forward, but if you really want to get rid of something, you have to face it, claim it, rebuke it and then the 'power' it had over you becomes less and less. 

Does it seem like I am walking or talking in circles?  I think I am, cause I feel like I have been walking and moving in circles the past month.  Just saying. 

However,  God is going to move me completely past this time.  HE is allowing some grieving of feelings and stuff that I did not want to face or think about, but HE is going to help me clean it all out so that the 'power' it has presently over me . . won't last.  The Enemy can't and won't use this again, as I have claimed victory over it.  My Jesus shed blood on 'this' already. 

I thank God for a sweet pal yesterday that reminded me of the scripture, "HE makes all things new - we are a new creation" . .all of us are.  He is.  I am.  WE are . .they are ..each of us has that promise, thank God. 

Another dear new friend reminded me that, I have secrets with my best pal - God . .that only HE and I know and HE designed it that way -- wow.  Good and bad secrets but HE loves me anyway.   The Enemy wants me to disbelief that and use it to cause me to doubt - I won't. 

And, HE showed me some of HIS words that helped me -- just now, in this grieving process.  And, HE washed away some of the hurt with tears . .tears . .that washed me clean. 

Grieving is a process,  death is going to come . .but HE wins. 

Maybe these scriptures will minister to you as well.    BTW - YOU are beloved and highly esteemed. 

  • Prov. 15.14  The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool finds folly.
  • Prov.  22.11  One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the King for a friend. 
  • 2 Chronicles 16.9  For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the EArth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 
  • Phil 4.6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with Thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. 
  • Prov. 27.18  He who waits on his master will be honored.
  • John 10.27  My sheep listen to my voice, I know them, and they follow me.
  • Prov. 12.18  REckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
  • Prov. 16.23  From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive.
  • Prov. 29.11  The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.
  • And my favorite this night -- Mark 1.45
  • They came to HIM from EVERY direction . . . . . !!!  

Lord, you know the heaviness in my heart.  You have wiped my tears today.  Tears that have come and I am not sure even 'why' but then I stop and think . . I am tired.  Lord,  thank you for the man who held me, my man, even when I believe he knew I was hurting - he still held.  You do that Lord,  you HOLD us even when we don't want to be held.  Even when we don't love you, live for you, or act in a manner in which we should -- YOU STILL hold us.  You never let us go.  Thank you for the rainbow yesterday.  As Pastor Jo stated . it is all about me --- right?  I know a balance, but it is all for me and for him and for them, and for us . .etc . etc . I praise your name, my head hurts trying to understand that but you stated we can't understand you and we should not try - we should just believe.  I believe.  I am believing for a healing that has not quite hit yet, and I believe for a change in a heart that is going to be miraculous.  Lord, thank you for Matt 12. 33-37 and in that scripture it says that the desire to change begins in the heart . . and the greek word for heart there is kardia . which means our thoughts, motives, feelings and our will and our character . .change my character Lord.  Change my heart.  Change my thoughts.  Change my motives,  Change my feelings ..Lord, change me.  This prayer is about me Lord -- that is the only one I have to answer for - me and you - right?  Right!  Lord,  this day was yours, and it still is, I am taking you with but I am asking that tomorrow, may it be easier . .amen.!  - your daughter, michelle

Saturday, October 8, 2011

I watered a plastic plant . . ..

YeP I did it. Yesterday, Friday, at school I was checking over the last bit of stuff on the lunch table. Heather and I have decided to do lunch duty at PECS -- otherwise my kids have PE and Culture in the am and it would be almost noon before I spend anytime with them each day so we do lunch duty. Anyway, as I was picking up a waterbottle, I noticed something that sort of looked like a think eyebrow in the water, someone had backwashed. I could not even fathom WHAT they had backwashed but felt guilty throwing away the water . . . it should go to good use. As I walked toward the trash and recycling bin, I noticed a plant. Good. "Lord, thanks, that is where I can empty the water and then recycle the bottle".

I did.

As I poured the water onto the plant, I began to study it and after I had emptied the bottle it was then that I noticed -- it was a PLASTIC plant!!


I laughed and laughed and quickly looked around me to see if anyone else saw how 'stupid' and silly I felt. No one was looking.

However, it tickled me so that I tattled on myself to the first adult I saw. Anyway, the plastic plant got some much needed water and it sort of dusted the leaves a bit. Too funny.

As I reflected on that last night, I got to thinking -- how many times do I 'water' what does not need to be watered.

Many articles, devotions, and books have all spoken and told about how we should share Jesus and then 'water' it with faith. Or 'share' this and then make sure you follow up with love , kindness, and 'water' it so it grows.

I watered a plant that did not need any water.

God reminded me that many times, I water stuff that doesn't need water.

For example, how many times have I thought I was to say something or fix something and in reality, I should of just left it be -- it was plastic or basically, that was not God's plan for me to interceed right then.

It was very clear and apparent to me. For the past few days, I have been seeking and asking God and finding myself questioning a few things and HE has clearly showed me to -- leave it be. HE has this. HIS promises will come true. I must wait and allow HIM to complete HIS work.

That did bring me much needed peace and rest.

I found this today, it is from Beth Moore:

R= resist temptation
E=enter into HIS presence
S=seek HIM in His word
T = trust in HIS promises

Many times and now I am speaking to myself --when we try to water what God has told us to leave alone . .. .it shows that we don't trust HIM. I trust HIM.

When we speak or do something because we feel we can 'fix' . . .we are controlling and now allowing God to do HIS mighty work.

And we can have total peace when we really REST in HIM.

Lord, thank you. Thank you for answered prayer and for the way you teach me. I am sorry it takes me so long to really learn and lesson that will stick, but I love that YOU know that about me and yet YOU still do not give up on me.

Lord, thank you for the laugh on Friday, and for reminding me NOT to water the plastic plant. And Lord, thank you for being the perfect gardener . .that you will reap the harvest in YOUR time -- I only need to be patient.

Thank you for your word - Habaukuk 2.3 ...that it may seem slow, but we are to hold on as you will answer in YOUR time and it will be not one day overdue . . . I know I paraphrased that scripture, but I know you know that I love that written word. Thank you for it.

Good night!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

it is pumpkin time . . .

This is my brother, you may not recognize him, but this is the youngest - Nathan. He lives in northern Wisconsin and I bet he took his two young charges and his wife and went to a pumpkin patch. I wish I had the photo of Nate when he was about 7 and Brendan and I took, he, Trevor and little Brittan to the pumpkin patch in Occnomowoc, Wisconsin . . . I wonder, does he remember?

I have been wanting to blog for about a month now -- some serious blogging. But -- God just has not had me there. I have blogged here and there, posted a few comments, and posted scripture on Facebook, but my head and heart are YEARNING to yell and write something outloud.

However, God has 'had' me quiet and thinking and very BUSY. Interesting. I have been busy. It is "fall" and that means soccer weekends and we have been to Gainesville, Jax, and even South Carolina and now we will make a few repeat trips and then Orlando in December . .so that does keep on busy. And . we moved. YEP -this is a God thing.

Our house sold, in THIS market, in THIS ecomomic time . .. God sold our home and now two sweet people who believe God brought them to THAT house are enjoying it. WE were blessed and Brendan found us a very nice but smaller rental for the time being. I packed, pitched, painted and Brendan arranged for all the moving and both kids HELPED tremendously along with sweet sweet new friends and now we are located 'in town' with blueprints being drawn up on our next home. We are rebuilding - literally in many ways.

In therpy over the past month, I have had to deal with feelings . . .or struggle with them. Funny how God brings such things to light and I am having a HARD time dealing with a few things and it is not about my husband or my kids . .it is just me and God. And just tonight as I blog, I see how I am having trouble expressing how I really feel .. and I am also in a sort of 'holding' pattern with God too and HE has me quiet. Interesting. How I love to learn so much about God.

In the meantime, scripture has been a blessing and HE brought me a new friend that has reminded me how much or WHAT it looks like to be in LOVE with God. It is so refreshing and it has me questioning myself? Is that what I look like? Is that what I sound like? I hope so.

Tonight this blessed me from Isaiah 40.11 He tends his flock lilke a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart: he gently leads those that have young.

My post tonight is called - Pumpkin Time . .my nicname as a child is /was pumpkin. I am reminded of many things through out the day as the Enemy continues to blast me on most days, but God also brings to mind many NEW memories that have been made and some of the old ones that still bless me so . .like taking our kids North and letting them see a Watertown High School Football game and falling into a pile of leaves. . . . like taking our kids North for snow . like taking our kids to the coolest Children's museum in Denver Colorado or to the cabin in Buena Vista Colorado and eating at the local fare. . . . .it is pumpkin time . .me time . .God time. .

God reminded me yesterday through HIS servents that 'this' is still about HE and ME. Tonight, a sweet girl named Paige reminded me of how the Enemy will continue to bring up memories and how we will just fight them and allow the Holy Spirit and God to heal them. She said it, 'we have to pray miss michelle' . .God, thank you! YOU tend to your sheep. YOU always have.

I believe this is what I was to post this eve . .I pray it blesses you that reads it - michelle

I waited patiently for the LORD: he turned to me and heard my cry. HE lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. Psm. 40. 1-3

Lord, I have waited on You. I am still waiting on you. YOU have heard my cry and the ones that will come . .YOU LORD have lifted me out of the slimy pit of jealously, hurt, greed, and so much more . . You have set my feet upon a rock - a solid rock, YOUR love. And YOU have given me a firm place to stand. No one is responsible for my happiness - only YOU. I will delight in you and the ones you have given me to love you through them. I do love YOU through them. And I can feel your love for me through them . .. I do.

Your daughter, michelle

you CALLED Lord

Lord, I 'sit' or lay relaxed and yet I am not . . .I am anxious to hear from you. Anxious to move beyond what is right in front of me, anxious to have everything fixed ..... and yet, THAT is not what YOU have for me as of yet.

Lord, give me the patience to wait on you again. Lord, YOU got this, YOU have had this, and I thank you for Alexa and Linda yesterday who were your agents of change, Dave too, but as I said, thanks. . . this is still about YOU and ME ..... YOU and ME and the Holy Ghost. (Alexa uses that term . . .sort of like it . different than Holy Spirit.) YOU is where I find my eternal and present happiness, and I know that.

I thank you for answered prayer - I thank you for your provisions and for the new start - one day, my focus is ON YOU.

Your daughter, michelle