Sunday, April 28, 2013

Day #19, Day #20...Day # 21....

Amazing to stop and just ponder on WHAT we depend  upon.
The Internet has escaped me for a few days.  It was 'off' at home before we left for Jax and some soccer games and it was 'off' at the hotel too.

So, did I use that time to read more?    Think more?  Pray more?   Yes and yes and no and yes and no...funny how you get used to technology and then you must readjust.

However, that is the way it is with many things.
You get in a rut or get used to things and then you must make an effort to change.

That happens with my students.  That happened in my marriage.  That happened in my relationship with God.  

I have enjoyed this weekend, we are not actually in JAX  but in Palm Coast.  A BEAUTIFUL area between Flager Beach and St. Augustine Beach.   Brendan and I took a drive up along the coast and made a 'date' for coming back with the Harley as the ocean is right along the road and the coast reminds one of California with the short beach and the rocky coast.

We watched HP and his team defeat a team from the West Cost of Florida and now we are going to the fields to watch them play another team and advance - Lord willing - to the Final Four of the State Cup.

This is a big deal.

We have prayed for our church family back in Okeechobee and prayed over HP with his ankle...he got clobbered by another player of the opposite team and it looks like a bad sprain!  

And now....we will head into the sun...

But first....if you have been following this 40 days of prayer - I hope that in my 'absence' of posting...YOU prayed  and YOU journaled your heart before HIM or on paper....I pray that HE met you right where you needed...and that you FELT HIS Presence!  

My prayers were on and off for the past few days as our schedule was a whack....

But basically it was ...'do it Lord, use me Lord, I love you Lord...' amen.

I will be posting later today -- God spoke and 'disciplined' me this weekend too -- how I LOVE that...I believe it means...I am highly a parent it is hard to discipline but I do it cause I love them...

HE loves me so -- that I know.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Day #18 ....a heart crusher

Today I laughed a bunch and even cried a tear as one of my students blogged about his broken heart.  His poem was called ...'the heart crusher'.    It was his first girlfriend.. .....she broke up with him......he was crushed......

He did not do his am work, he did not do his math, he would not stick with us when we were discussing the Tropicana Speech Unit, but he blogged when he could and wrote, edited, and wrote more.

He blogged his feelings and did a great job.  I can't really make it public, it will hurt her feelings.  But, getting that on the computer - validated his broken heart.   We spoke about her feelings, and after I said a few times that she probably would be embarrassed, he told me to delete it - as he still cares about her.

Young love.

God cares for us.
So often we have such YOUNG love for God.
If he does not DO what I expect or want....if HE does not answer the prayer in my time, many of us just get our hearts crushed and give up or give in.

My heart was so YOUNG for a LONG time.  I think it has matured a bit - a little bit I would say.
I know that no matter what - God is holding my heart.

There are many this eve that have their hearts being crushed, were crushed, or will be crushed..
by husbands, lovers, friends....and family....

However, HE knows.

Only HE can heal that crushed heart.  When I spoke to my student today about God healing his heart ...he commented, "oh there you go again about the bible".  I had to remind myself I teach in a public school....I gave him a hug before he left  - he knows his crushed heart will pass.

Back to the crushed heart -

If your heart has been crushed and it has not been healed yet...please know...God will heal it.
Seek HIM ....ask HIM to come into your heart if you have never done that before...
Once that has happened, you will begin to feel HIS presence.
Don't get discouraged if nothing will.

Lord,  you are the ONLY one that can really heal a crushed heart.
Lord, this prayer is VERY short this eve...simple -- YOU have to be in that my heart...and all about the that YOUR love can penetrate.

Lord, I pray that anyone reading this...that their heart is being healed by YOU.
One of my favorite movies...this man loved his wife with all of his heart...but GOD loves us even more than that!!!   

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Day #17 -- Expectations and an extra blessing!

hello -- good evening -- today is Wednesday --

It has been a crazy week again.  FCAT is over, but our lives have gotten OUT OF ORDER in my classroom so today was a day where I had to go back and 'real' them in....refresh everyone about rules...and remind everyone that we STILL have more school.  Remind them of what I expected when they returned from Culture or Science class....remind them of what I expected within their writing!


I found this:   "True faith is never found alone: it is always accompanied by expectation.  the man who believes the promises of God expects to see them fulfilled.  Where there is no expectation there is no faith."   - AW Tozer 

In Therapy....I was told, "DO NOT expect...therefore, I would not be disappointed".  

Two different perspectives - right?

But, when dealing with other makes sense - don't expect, so that I won't be disappointed, but with God...with our FATHER.....expect, as HE is perfect and through HIM all things are possible.

God reminded me of expectations.    Brendan and my kids have certain expectations of me.  Hunter had to rent his TUX for Prom and I expected it to cost about $100 - boy was I WRONG!   $165 instead!!   Taylor is expected to FINISH a paper this eve by 11: 59pm and submit it for her final.  ( Can she do it?  I prayed for her! )   My students were writing blogs today and adding photos and one of the kids captured me in his photo and I expected to LIKE it...I did not - too many wrinkles!  Do I really look like that???   I had to fix that by finding a photo from almost a year ago where I FEEL I look -- acceptable!   LOL

 And I am expected to be in bed early and back at work by 7am tomorrow.  We can't avoid expectations - but praise God we can rely on HIM and HIS promises.

Expectations!   God's promises are expected and it is by faith that we believe - it will happen.  Amen!   
God's beauty and wonder is so so so so  around me......I have seen and witnessed some major miracles that my faith is a bit stronger than it was some 4-5 years ago.  

I have been in a situation where I needed to expect that GOD would fulfill HIS promise to me -- that was the ONLY way I could move forward day by day or ever go to sleep at night.  But I also had to expect that IF HE choose not to move another in this ONE PARTICULAR direction that HE would make sure HIS promises would still be true!  I had to be willing to be moved, to be accept what GOD expected for me!   ( That was the HARDEST part! and I think that is why it took soo long at times...cause God was waiting on me to TRUST HIM!)  
Praise God.  

Many need a fresh spirit of anticipation that springs out of the promises of God...many need to declare war on the mood of non-expecation, and come to HIM with a child like faith....only then can we know again of the beauty and wonder of the Lord around us...- I wish I thought of that  but that was AW Tozer again! 

 Our faith creates miracles.  

God wins.  
God heals.
God fights for us. 

I got a little frustrated and mad at God for a few days -- as it seems like certain prayers were being ignored.  I asked forgiveness.  I know that is not so...HE is at work and in the midst of it all.  I believe that.  

I expect HIM to come to the aid of the Christian sister's that inspired this blog. 
I expect HIM to answer prayer.
I expect HIM to comfort me and the ones  I am thinking of THIS moment - comfort in only a way HE can.  
I expect HIM to bring peace in a troubled spirit.
I expect HIM to remind a young girl...that one day ...she WILL see her mother in a different light and in a new found faith and expectation of God's blessings.  
I expect HIM to restore a family.
I expect HIM to redeem a reputation.
I expect HIM to give her the job back or a better job.
I expect HIM to speak to her as she is so hungry to hear from HIM.
I expect HIM to open his eyes so that he will apologize and make things right.
I expect HIM to vindicate the hurt.
I expect HIM to teach her new and many things. 
 I expect HIM to heal her and get rid of that cancer once and for all.
I expect HIM to ease her fear as she goes to the doctor to see about her indentation in her chest.
I expect HIM to heal the one with ovarian cancer and heal her completely.
I expect HIM to help me ease into the last 29 days.
I expect HIM to show up mighty at the intimate mother/daughter brunch that we are praying about.
I expect HIM to give me direction.
I expect HIM to make a new bride feel a bit better.
I expect HIM to guide a new mother into her new role.
I expect HIM to keep her healthy and cancer free.
I expect HIM to comfort her as she is now without her husband.
I expect HIM to protect her.
I expect HIM to lead her to a new understanding ...that she may need to swallow her pride.
I expect HIM to show him...he is the one that needs repentance - not the rest of the family.
I expect HIM to bless them - abundantly! 
I expect HIM to love each and everyone of them - unconditionally and...
I expect to DO my best to be Christlike...and pray fervently! 

HE placed the stars in the heaven....we are joint heirs with HIM /Jesus on that throne because I have died to myself and asked HIM to be IN me...
I expect HIM to continue to work 'death' in me and 'life' in other areas. 
I expect HIM to discipline me when needed and to be my ROCK of refuge.
I expect to see all those 7000 promises within HIS word in fruition one day!  


PS....I don't expect my husband to do things for me anymore.  I don't expect him to call leave me a note, or do the romantic stuff I LONGED for ...longed for...longed for...but guess what - he surprises me here and there.  And I thank God for that.  
I thank God that God has taught me to put HIM first, to seek God for all of my 'needs' and then Brendan is off the hook and he can be sweet to me - when the Holy Spirit leads him to.  
In fact, I need to get off this computer and do something extra nice for him - like iron a few shirts...LOL 
God wins.
Hang in there - if you are a total stranger and reading this and it touched you or if you love and read this  every once in a while...I would LOVE to hear how YOU sought God in expectation and I would LOVE to hear how God faith - michelle 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Day #16 - Tuesday!

After today - FCAT is OVER for this year - praise God!!  And.....

I got a little 'fiesty' yesterday -- sometimes it is hard to pray  -- Brendan read out of his dad's bible last night ( Monday night )  and there is a verse that says, "Humble yourselves before the Lord and HE will lift you up" but if you turn around the words - you get a whole different meaning....

-------Lift yourself up before the Lord and HE will humble a difference... right?

So, I am just going to post a prayer that JEsus wrote for today ...and ask God to  make sure I am humbling myself before the Lord, and not the other way around....Amen!

Lord,  this prayer is for my family and me.  I have not stopped thanking God for
my family    . . . I pray for them  constantly, 17 asking  you God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give Brendan and I    spiritual wisdom[f] and insight so that we  might grow in the  knowledge of  YOU, God. 18 I pray that our  hearts will be flooded with light so that we can understand the confident hope YOU have given to those you  call—MY  holy people who are rich and in  glorious inheritance.[g]
 19 I also pray that Brendan  and ME will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. 21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with him.  Lord, may we always  be a part of that body, may we understand that we are loved.  

God, forgive me if I get too fiesty.  I know you are working 'death' of something in me and so that more 'life' can come...amen!  

Day 15 -- there seems to be a double standard ...

I have had to stop and really think these past few days.  As this is not a perfect world, and things are not always as they seem, but several 'circumstances' and situations have come to my head or been brought to my attention.  And I just have to say this....

There seems to be a double standard.  It seems that when a 'man' seems to be brushed under the rug a little easier than if the 'woman' did it.    Just saying.   It seems that when the woman stands up for her self, it is not received the same as if the 'man' had done it.    Maybe it is just  a perception.

Now that could conjure up ALL sorts of stuff and I have to say this - I examined my heart and my motives too.  Please don't read into this more than it is...I am fine, my husband did not 'do' anything to cause me to ponder this, as I we both love people, we work and talk to others,  and others and their lives do enter into our lives.  And as I have said.....this  40 days of prayer is for several Christian Sisters in Christ.... but there are others.... many others that are -- hurting people and couples, and children out there.

So, I asked myself..... Do I 'forgive' one easier than another...

And I do...I have found that I 'forgive' one that I judged  "lost"....a LOT easier than one I judged a "Christian".  Does that make sense?

I have found myself really frustrated with a sister in Christ cause I believe she is not acting like she should, but within another person - I 'pardon' that.  Did that make sense?

Hopefully I am speaking to another - if not - than  I am JUST speaking  to myself,  but  I  needed to ask God to forgive me again, and that has been my head that is what I am posting a prayer for this eve.

Lord,  I can't judge another 's heart, you will do this, but I see this one and that one and I believe they are not acting in a way that would please you.  Lord, it is hurting her family.  Lord, it is hurting her daughter.  Lord, it is hurting.  However Lord, I will trust you.  Lord, I used to say that if you blew up Brendan and he came to me in a million pieces....I would take the one that fell into my lap and 'work with it'.  So Lord, if you bring this woman back into my life...I will work with it!  Lord, I want your will to be done - and I want total freedom and peace in her life.  I want her to have the life you designed for her!  Lord, forgive me as I have judged....Lord, I know that godly sorrow leads to repentance.  Lord, I pray that she will allow the walls to fall down and take a real look within her self and begin to really LET you in enough.  Lord, there is bitterness and unforgiveness within her life - you can see it and hear it when she speaks but she does not see or hear it - only YOU lord, can open those eyes.   Lord, real sorrow leads to seek out counsel and wisdom.  I am watching with big eyes the counsel and the people you have placed into her life....Lord, I pray she will see it too.  Lord, there are other strongholds and other situations that must stop as well, as there are others interfering with the situation, Lord I ask that you would severe that bridle that seems to be holding onto her, Lord for the sake of the family ...there needs to be a mountain moved and removed.   But I TRUST you enough Lord to do it in YOUR time.  Sorry Lord for getting frustrated today at them ..but basically at I know YOU can do something to fix this and when I don't see stuff 'moving' I think you are still..when in reality - YOU are moving behind the scenes!  I thank you for that Lord.

And Lord, for the other women I am praying for - bless them within their lives, thank you for the answered prayer I have heard and seen.  Thank you for blessing them with clarity of mind!

 Lord, forgive me again if I over spoke - Lord, I pray that tomorrow, the ones trying to harm these sisters in YOU have spiritual eyes that are awaken - tomorrow and they will apologize for the heartache and hurt they have caused.

Lord, for the women from our Church that just returned from their Encounter Weekend -- protect them, as they process their healing and see and experience more of your presence.
Lord, for the one we heard this evening that has cancer - just found out.  Lord, I know you won't let her down.
Lord, for the one seeking medical attention for breast cancer and the other dear one battling the chemo now...

Lord for the others I could name  and the one that is hurting -- heal Lord, emotionally and physically as well, as comfort.  YOU are a great God.  I know you answer prayers.  I praise and thank you that I can come to you - rant and rave and YOU get me...there are over 7000 promises in the bible from you for loving me THAT much.  Amen.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Day #14 - Sunday.....answer me in the day of the crash.....

The following is Psalm 20 from the Message Bible....

Today is Sunday...headed to church shortly and EXCITED about that....blessed beyond measure but my heart continues to hold several before HIM - -- KNOWING ...HE will win, HE will make a way and HE will change their circumstances.......but first HE is changing them....

God's discipline shows HIS love for much as HIS favor...amen.

1-4 God answer you on the day you crash,    (Oh God, answer me when I call on this day, it has felt like I crashed again.  The enemy continues to seem to 'win'.  In the Authority we have because we are of YOU...put me out of harm's reach.  Send reinforcements....send encouragement!  Please send a fresh word, a fresh anointing...a fresh perspective! )  
The name God-of-Jacob put you out of harm’s reach,
Send reinforcements from Holy Hill,
Dispatch from Zion fresh supplies,
Exclaim over your offerings,
Celebrate your sacrifices,
Give you what your heart desires,
Accomplish your plans.
When you win, we plan to raise the roof  ( OH God, YOU will win....and then we will raise the roof and celebrate...until then I DO celebrate your goodness and your blessings -- keeping us here...keeping me safe.....amen! )  
    and lead the parade with our banners.
May all your wishes come true!
That clinches it—help’s coming,
    an answer’s on the way,
    everything’s going to work out.  (OH Lord, I WILL believe...I WILL believe ....I will believe.....YOU will redeem!  Amen! )  
7-8 See those people polishing their chariots,
    and those others grooming their horses?
    But we’re making garlands for God our God.  ( It is a  process Lord, I understand, well, I understand that I must wait is HARD waiting, lead and guide me as I wait on YOU!  I will trust you!  )  
The chariots will rust,
    those horses pull up lame—
    and we’ll be on our feet, standing tall.
Make the king a winner, God;
    the day we call, give us your answer.  ( Lord, thank you for the answer...thank you for the direction.....I will wait on YOU! )  


Saturday, April 20, 2013

Day comes the sun....

Florida is getting hot.  Yesterday in Wisconsin my sister said there were snow flurries.  Opposites!
In the middle of our pain at times - it is hard to see the is hard to think that GOD is really fighting for us....but HE is.   HE is.

I can remember a time when I thought I was abandoned.
I can remember a time ( not too long ago ) when I was so mad at God.
I have done....and done.....and did.....and was here.....and did that.....and even I .......  and yet, it still did not seem to 'make a difference'.

Life is so hard. HIS word does say, it won't be easy. Dah.
But, God does give us that new day each morning.
God does bring forth the rainbow and sunshine after cloudy days.
HE does.

Today I was reminded of a time when I believe I saw the 'eyes of God'. The  YELLOW I saw and experienced was like only the edge of God's face, I mean I think in my own mind I maybe saw HIS eyes for  a spilt second and then all I saw was the glory ..the yellow...the sunshine or just pure radiance.

I don't know, but it gave me such comfort.
I knew at that moment - I was going to be FINE.   HE would take care of me and no matter WHAT the circumstances....I was going to be ok.

This did not come overnight.  It was a process.  Funny ...I hated that word 'process' .  Hated it.  It was used by counselors and godly counsel.  I want things fixed and fixed NOW...why does it have to take so long.

Why do we have to wait?

However,  God knows.  HIS timing is perfect and in our waiting...HE really changes us.
Most times, we don't realize it until 'after' it happens.

Journaling helps.  Write down what God is telling you and how you feel today.  Read it a month later and see the revelations.  Read it a year later and WOW.

I did that this week.  I read my blog from a year ago.  Wow.  Oh God I praise and ThaNK you for the glory and healing that continues to happen.   As it has only JUST been a year since I posted,...I think I can say -- 'this is going to work' marriage will probably survive the heartache and troubles of the past 5-7 years. It was just a year ago, when I felt, or my feelings  came into agreement with my faith.  I mean, I had been proclaiming a healing, and believing in a healing, but I was not 'feeling' it.  And it has only been in the past 6-7 months when I have seen the glory of HIS redemption within our marriage, as digging into HIS word and having a fear of the Lord has changed my husband.  It has changed me, and as we both sought HIM....HE began to bind us together again, as one flesh.  As husband and wife.  That indeed is the 'proof' of the miracle.  We both acknowledge, we are a walking miracle.  So, I will forever hold onto the promises of God...NOThing for HIM is impossible!  Nothing.   Problems just don't happen...they progress slowly and before you know it - bang - bingo, it manifests itself into something that can't be ignored.
But, now I can say....that I do trust God enough to allow the healing to be a process as THAT is HIS ultimate plan.  These stumbling blocks and deterrents  are being used by HIM.  Nothing is wasted in HIS healing.

I can attest to the fact, that a slow JUST as good as an INSTANT one.   As both are HIS plan.  Remember, God does not have a Plan B.  Amen.

I can also attest to the fact that HE and me had to fall back in love with each other.  Well, God never 'left' me but I left HIM.  And God and Brendan had to fall back in love with each other.  And when those relationships were healed and then worked at....the rest then could begin to work.  Indeed, it IT IS a lot of HARD work, but it is so worthwhile!  Worthwhile!

So, as I come to post today and pray in my 40 days of prayer for these beloved  sisters in Christ, I wanted to just encourage and look for the good.

 Ask GOD to see HIS face and watch, HE will answer you.

 Hang in there -- HE is working in the midst.

  It is a process and one day you will look back on this and see HOW much HE loved  ...loves you enough to discipline you, to guide shape you ..and to rebuild you.  HAng in there!

You are special to me...but OH so much more special to HIM! HE esteems you so much.  Your faithfulness and your grace being shown to the ones who hurt and harm being credited to you as righteousness.


Father God..

Lord,  this prayer is for my sister's in Christ .  I have not stopped thanking God for I pray for them  constantly, 17 asking  you God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give her   spiritual wisdom[f] and insight so that she  might grow in the  knowledge of  YOU, God. 18 I pray that her heart will be flooded with light so that she can understand the confident hope YOU have given to those you  call—MY  holy people who are rich and in  glorious inheritance.[g]
 19 I also pray that she  will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. 21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with him.  Lord, she  probably already understands that she is  a part of that body, may she understand that she is loved and the hurt that is causing a season of great prayer be lifted....ended....or adjusted....for a moment so she can get a glimpse of YOUR power and your redemption.  

Day #12 - WORN.....

Day #12 - It is Friday.

THE end of the
I am tired.

The sister's in Christ are tired too.
However, we can't give up or give in....we must, seek God for comfort - rest, and continue to pray.

Posting today a song from 10th Ave. North.
It is called, 'worn'.....

Here are the Lyrics.... please You Tube it and watch a video and let it SOAK into your being.
Allow the tears to refresh you.
Each time I cry, I am reminded of the book 'THE SHACK' and how the Holy Spirit in that book would collect the tears and use them to create this WONDEFUL garden of these most amazing flowers and plants that would just warm your insides and bless you.....
Each time, in my season of great sadness, I would want to CRY get an even MORE beautiful garden.
God does not allow one tear to go unnoticed.
Today prayers were said again and again, and I am standing on the faith that EACH one of the sister's in Christ I am praying for....will SEE HIS glory, and HE will redeem them and vindicate them.

Seems only fitting that today - they caught that last 'kid' bomber.  I am sure the people of Boston are 'worn'....

Oh Lord,  answer.  Amen.

Here is the song:  WORN  by 10th Avenue North


I'm tired
I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too week
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven so come and fluid my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn
Yeah I'm worn

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Day #11 Hear my plea...

    Today my day started with a Mercy ME - "you're the one that conquers shut the mouths of the walk through are  I AM! "....

Wonderful worship song.
Wonderful way to start the day.  Singing and letting everything else be tuned out - would help me to focus on HIM and begin to pray.

When I was in a crisis point in my life, within my marriage, within my family, I prayed.
Reading God's word and turning them into prayers was something that brought GREAT comfort.
Great comfort.

I am in a season of prayer for some sisters in Christ.
You may have happened to come upon this blog site and are reading this just because or maybe the Holy Spirit led you here - as HE wishes to speak to you.

The past few days, there has been a more INTENSE determination on my part to seek JESUS and HIS healing for one particular sister in Christ.

The following prayer and plea is inspired by Psalm 17.
David wrote most of the psalms...he  had been to hell and back and God says he was a man after HIS own heart.  David sinned big time, and he was forgiven and redeemed.

I take comfort in that.

- In HIM, michelle

Today's prayer is as follows:

 Oh Lord, Hear my righteous plea, listen to my cry, give ear to my prayer - it does not rise from deceitful lips.  May my vindication come from you, may your eyes see what is right. 
Oh God, it seems he wants to slander me, oh God it seems he can't trust me. I need to know that YOU do Lord, My faith is weak and so new, so fragile.  Lord, the godly you have had speak to me.....they are so sure you are here...but I am not sure, I mean, I want to believe - show me.  Lord, would you gently please begin to correct in me what needs to be corrected, but please connect with me in a way that I can see and believe is real.  Lord, I am so ashamed at times, I have been told you have forgiven  but, I want to make sure of that, I mean....this is so new.
 Oh Lord, Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing, I  have resolved that my mouth will not sin.
But God, they have not.  Lord, he has not kept his mouth from sin.  I don't understand it - it was not done on purpose.  I want it to stop, please Lord - why is this so hard?  I have sinned - I know, but how long must I be reminded.  
As for the deeds of man, by the word of your lips, I have held to your paths, my feet have not slipped since I have cried to you. So as I call upon you, will you answer me...give ears to my prayer.  Show the wonder of your great love to me, you who save by your right hand...those who take refuge in your from their foes.  Keep me the apple of your eyes, hide me in the shadow of your wings, from the wicked who assail me.  
Oh Lord, please close his callous tongue, please help me forgive myself...and him...and them.  Lord, open his eyes to see the sin and pain that he caused. I will accept the consequences of my choices, but I don't understand why he does not stop.  
Lord, I need healing in a big way, I don't see and feel it Lord, but I will trust it will come.Lord, I forgive.  I am trying my best.  Lord, the song says YOU shut the mouths of the lions....please do.  Please don't leave me like I said, I am fragile.  
Amen.     - your daughter...

Day #9 and Day #10 ...praying in the Spirit.....

To be very HONEST LORD...

My heart is just sick with 'what' to pray .......
It is just easier, yesterday and pray in my prayer language.

So, let it be stated that today will be a day of prayer too for my sister's in Christ...but there is ONE that is most heavy on my heart as her step of faith is so new and so fragile...

BE BIG in her life today again...
MOVE like ONLY YOU can move...



Lord, I thank you that I can pray with a tongue that can only be heard and understood by you -- and it edifies my and it makes the day -- yours.


Monday, April 15, 2013

Day #8 ...I believe...

Lord, I believe that you can bring beauty out of ashes.
Lord, I believe that you will shine in Boston and the stories of your healing mercies and your grace will begin to come .
Lord, I believe more will seek YOU because of Boston.
Lord, I believe that the Enemy who meant for much more harm....well, you stopped most of it.

Lord, I believe for the beautiful woman north of me, and that her marriage will get back to what you designed.
Lord, I believe the trust will be rebuilt again.
Lord, I believe the pain he is experiencing will be healed by you.

Lord, I believe she will be redeemed.
Lord, I believe her son will seek a godly father one day.
Lord, I believe you will meet every bill, meet every need, and help her heal.
Lord, I believe you will bless her with a godly man that will keep her heart forever.
Lord, I believe that the one hurting her, will seek godly repentance one day.

Lord, I believe the anger I feel for this one particular one  that was stupid will subside.
Lord, I pray he will have a repentant heart.
Lord, I believe  you will restore him and make him whole and in the meantime, he will make right a wrong.
Lord, I believe you will restore her.
Lord, I believe you will protect her.
Lord, I believe you will show her great and mighty things.
Lord, I believe the charges will be dropped.
Lord, I believe the pain will decrease as you fill her heart.
Lord, I believe you can restore a family.

Lord, I believe you will show us both that those are 'saved'.
Lord, I believe they will want to worship you.
Lord, I believe you will bless us with that answered prayer.

Lord, I believe that he will be exposed.
Lord, I believe that he will come forward and repent.
Lord, I believe that he will be able to cover his wife as he should.
Lord, I believe she will get healing.
Lord, I believe a family will be in YOUR will - designated to do great things in your name.
Lord, I believe there will be freedom that set them both free.

Lord, I believe in his ministry.
Lord, I believe you will meet the need of the visa.
lord, I believe you will bless his upcoming meetings.

Lord, I believe you will meet the needs of our church.
Lord, I believe you are healing families.
Lord, I believe you are restoring marriages.
Lord, I believe you are setting captives free.

Lord, I believe YOU Bring beauty out of ashes.

Lord, it is ALL because of you!


PS, I believe cause I have SEEN what you did for me....amen!

Day #7 ....what a day...

I woke up this am, in prayer for another and quickly typed in a prayer to her privately.
I prayed MUCH of the day because we were doing FCAT and I just get to sit and watch the walls move....
I prayed for this one and that one...
I prayed for myself, as ANGER wanted to grip me because of 'his' actions and 'his' actions...mind you - I was not angry at my husband!
As I have said, this 40 days of prayer is for several women of God that HE has brought to pray for.

Several weeks or months ago, I watch Francis Chan make the statement, "I have been extremely challenged"....." as I have been making disciples".     I understood that comment.  Our my church, we have a motto...we are making disciples that make disciples....

Being a servant of God, being used by HIM takes time and it takes much prayer.
I am honored and humbled that God has placed some beautiful people within my reach to pray for and pray with.  I am honored.

But tonight - I place ALL of them at HIS feet and stop to pray for the MANY injured and hurt in Boston - again, just one event can make everyone realize......

This is NOT our world.
This world is underwritten by the Enemy and HE continues to stir up strife, and if he is not doing is the consequences of fallen man.

Tonight, there is a sister of a dear one that lives in Boston.
Tonight there is a daughter of a friend that lives there.
Tonight there are mother's that are grasping for hope to hear from family and hovering over a hospital bed due to injuries.
Tonight there are ones in a hospital bed - so in shock that tomorrow, they will need some real therapy to accept what transpired today.
Tonight, there is a guilty party -- that needs to confess to a crime.

So much Lord.
So much Lord.

Lord, thank you for answered prayer today.
Thank you for the smile on her face, even in the middle of much YUCK.
Thank you for the Publix conversation.
Thank you for  the visit this eve and more answered prayer.

Lord, Thank you!

Lord, there are still hurting ones, Lord, there is a woman in pain, Lord, there is a young mother that needs direct answers and there is a family that needs restoring.  Lord, there are many more needs -- but YOU know what and where and when....YOU are the God that placed the stars in the heavens  and YOU are the one that can heal and redeem.  Lord, thank you for today. Lord, give each of them rest this tomorrow will be a new day.  Lord, YOU win. Amen.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Day #6...NO weapon formed against me shall stand....

"I realize and know that when it seems ALL is lost...ALL is wrong  and there seems to be no hope....

that GOD can redeem ANYTHING."

Today I got to listen to John James give his testimony again at our church.  He spoke about how God did a miracle and used  his wife, to remind him that GOD does care and GOD can restore.

I would not even imagine to try and summarize the testimony, but I will share this.  When I first heart his story, I was a 'single' mom who dragged her son with her to church.  It was a time of my life where I would grab onto ANYTHING that would assure me...there was hope.  And John James speaks of hope so perfectly.  Anyway, at the end of that service back in October of 2010....I went forward for a miracle.  I believed that God could restore anything.   You that time, I needed restoration too and a miracle within my family.

Today...some 2 and 1/2 years later.....I heard him give a message of hope again and he asked us to come forward if we needed salvation, or if we needed to make a reconnection to Christ...or if we needed a miracle....and many went forward.  It was a glorious sight.

I got to eat lunch with him later...and I was able to remind him of that day.  ( I tease him cause I feel like a stalker at times....LOL...but he was one of the 'people with skin' that GOD used to remind me that HE wins and HE is always working! )   Anyway, like I said.....God wins.

Today as I pray, the sister's in Christ that inspired these 40 days of prayer....the sister's in Christ that HE has brought to my attention, brought to my circle of life, or brought to this blog site....

YOU are the one HE wants to make sure...
YOU are the one HE wants you to know......
YOU are the one HE will redeem..........HE will.....

It seems impossible today.
It seems the entire world is after you, or maybe it is just your husband, or maybe just your present circumstances....but HE wants you to know ----

THAT if you have claimed HIM as LORD of your life and your heart...then....

"NO weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute  ( GOD WILL REFUTE) , every tongue that accuses you.  This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me."  

So, hang in there....
God does still do miracles.
God does restore families.
God does heal past hurts.
God does take away the pain.
God does love you so much.....more than I can ever express -- don't give up. 

LOVE covers a multitude of sins. 
I know, he forgave me.. Amen.  

Day #5 ....Saturday is now Sunday and I guess---- I guess wanted to post for the record that Saturday was FILLED with prayer...for her...and for her...and for this one,  and back for this one again....and then for me...

Saturday was a busy day - I had a few meetings, and then work to do...but suddenly it seemed that the enemy DID NOT want me to meet a beautiful woman to pray with....

My husband prayed for me and gave me medicine and literally after a 1/2 hour of sleep - I was up and on my way to pray for her....

 But when I got home - sickness over came me again.....but....being sidelined to a bed gives one plenty of time to pray and to rest and to pray and to rest..... it just did not give me the strength to TYPE!

My prayers on Saturday focused for one ....but this will apply to many...

OH God...when we have messed up, only YOU can redeem us. 
Oh God, when we feel so ashamed, only   YOU can bring us the comfort we need.
Oh God, when it seems like everything is against us....YOU can make a way when there seems no other way.  
OH God - thank you for just allowing us to move forward just one moment at a time.  
It is only by YOU God...that we can survive 'this'...but we are going to claim and believe there is a miracle coming....and very soon.  

I believe in miracles.
I know God will fight for me when it seems like EVERYTHING is against me.
I know...

God will rescue us from our troubles:  Psalm 54.7  ( For you have rescued me from my troubles and helped me to triumph over my enemies.)  

Lord, you have and you will rescue my sweet sister in Christ and you will help her triumph over her enemies.

God will Rescue us from the Curse of our Wrong doing:  Galatians 3.13 ( But Christ has rescused us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. For it is written in the Scriptures, "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree". )

God took the curse ...we  seek forgiveness.

 We are human.  We will triumph with HIS help! 

And God will rescue me from the Terrors of Judgement:  
1 Thessalonians 1.10  ( And they speak of how you are looking forward to the coming  of God's son from heaven - Jesus, whom God raised from  the dead. He is the one who has rescued us from the terrors of the coming judgement.

God will see you through this....HE will...I have prayed, you have prayed...
Jesus is interceding for us...right now!
God cuts through with BIG Victories!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Day #4 - It is Friday

Oh is Friday.
It is almost Saturday and so much has transpired.
My heart is heavy and oh so hurt for another.
It is not fair Lord.
It is not fair.

Words seem I lay awake - I just pray in my prayer language and believe that YOU are interceding for me...for her....and for her....and for the others.

I am just too  tired Lord.
But - OH God, I cry mercy for her.

It does not seem she is getting any 'delight' her the way.....

Friday, April 12, 2013

Day #3 - with a little help from my friend Beth...

   today -----  Beth Moore is a praying for me and us....She posted this on her blog yesterday and YEP..I cut and pasted it here...

It was too good not to read, say , and believe again.....I know it will bless you too!  
My faithful, most holy Father and my God,With tremendous love I lift my sister to you. You know what stirs in her heart, what awakens her at night, what causes her to shudder, and what seeks to devour her. You have seen her in the secret place and you know her longings and her questions and her dreams and her hopes. You know the very place that doubt seeks to swallow her and deceit desires to seed in her. Spring her eyes open to cleansing, delivering Truth. Minister to her in such a personal way throughout the coming days that she is floored once again by Your all-knowingness and complete attentiveness. Sprout signs of harvest in a field where she has sown so faithfully and seen so little. Help her to see that her labor is not in vain. Soak the fleece in such a way that she’ll know You are with her.  Send someone to encourage her in such a specific area that she’ll know You alone could have prompted it.Grant her a heart to love You with an abounding affection that could only be supernatural and cause her to feel her heart teeming with love toward someone who is loveless toward her. Protect her heart and heal her mind where it may be bent or twisted. Take all shame off of her and cast out her self-loathing once and for all and lift her chin to see her redemption drawing near. Give her faith enough to believe that she has truly been forgiven and that You who began a good work in her will most assuredly complete it. Put a new relationship in her life that brings much joy to her in You and revives her faith-walk and makes her laugh. Healthy friendships, Lord! Help her to finally release a relationship that You have clearly brought to an end and to do so without resentment or bitterness, trusting You entirely with the future. Be radiant upon her face. Tell her forthrightly how lovely she is to You and how significant. Quiet that part of her that seeks to perform for acceptance. Give her joy in a more honest version of herself. Reveal Your gorgeous self to her, Lord Jesus. Let every false Christ in her life bow to the One and Only True so that she can see it is You. Make every competing voice hush to Yours.In Your beautiful, saving, redeeming Name, Jesus, I bring these earnest requests.Amen

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Day Number Two....40 days of prayer.

Romans 12.12...the verse says be joyful in  hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12.13 says....Share with the Lord's people who are in need.  Practice hospitality.

Lord, today as I felt the EXTREME panic of FCAT around the corner....and my students seem to know NOTHING.......I sit here this eve and go ...what?   Lord, I have done my best.  CRAMMING last minute reminders will help a few, frustrate others and just wear me me Lord to ease up these last two 'boot camp' days before the weekend and then we start.

LORD, I want each of my students to do their personal best cause I know they can...if they want to - LORD...make them want to.

Lord, I am trying to be 'hope' for a few.....I can and I am claiming victory for several.  Others Lord, I want to claim victory for but I am not 'feeling' it...OH God...LET me claim victory always.  Lord, I know what it means to be patient in affliction....however in the time of my 'most' affliction -- it was VERY hard to be patient.  Very hard.  Lord,  help her patient....Lord, help her be patient....Lord, help her be patient.....and God, may they hear the hope and see some.....

Lord, I pray that I will remain faithful in prayer and for the Secret Sisters that I have 'tagged' in this...Oh Lord, that they would be faithful in prayer too -- seeking you and BEGGING you to answer....may they be specific and then thank you for what you will do.

Lord, I want to share with YOUR people but I also want to be a light...Lord, help me practice hospitality...even tonight when my hubby and I visited another...I was not too ...hospitable and Brendan called me out on it.  Thank you Lord, that I held my tongue.  Thank you Lord.  Thank you Lord...

Thank you Lord.

Lord, today is Day #2...I have felt called to pray and post for several sisters in Christ that I can name...but also for the ones who are called to read, as I close, I thank you for today, I thank you for dying for me, I thank you for your love...

Lord, I trust you. I am willing to be joyful in the middle of the pain...and I will stand in the gap for another...

Lord, for her hurting heart....comfort her.
Lord, for her heart that is confused and there is just too much MUCK and MIRE right now between the both of them.....may your LOVE conquer that.
Lord, for that one who asked for guidance..
Lord, for the one who is seeking WHAT to do..
Lord, for the one who moved to NY this week...and starts her new job tomorrow...OH God - bless her so.
Lord, for the one who is submitting and allowing the trust to rebuild..
Lord, for the one who is running and won't allow her pride to..well, she must seek repentance.....
Lord, for the one who is breaking her daughter's heart...
Lord, for the one who is about to give birth..

Lord, for the ones in my cell group - meet needs, bless, comfort, and heal...
Lord, for the church family and continue healing for Christoper...
Lord, for me...I just need you too -- as much as ever.

Lord, you WIN...YOU shelter me from so much.
Thank you --

And Lord, for Trace...healing in that body - as cancer is NOT going to take her from her four children...I believe there will be healing there too -- AMEN.

Until tomorrow...

And PS....HELP the kids -- help them see the important of doing their best for their OWN worth....amen!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

40 days of one....

Today was a bit of a crazy day.  To be real, these past few days have been really crazy and cool and just God's.

I have 'missed' writing.  There have been several blogs that God has given me...I have been writing in my head and in my journal but HE has not released it to the public.

But today, as I was driving home and having my afternoon chat with my Heavenly Father, HE reminded me of a task I did before.  

Back when my husband and I had first moved into our 'first' rental in October of 2011, I was a nervous wreck.  You see so much of our lives was DIFFERENT and STRANGE....and NEW...and yet, still AWKWARD.....and God, in HIS wisdom and kindness, showed me something I could do.

HE lead me to the 'arms' of a dear friend, a sister in Christ that was in an immediate crisis and I remember, a dream and a vision and waking up and telling Brendan..."I know what I am to do...I am to post 40 days of prayer for her".    

Those 40 days of prayer were just as much for me....and others that read them.  But I still go back to those prayers and read and reread them and God uses them.  Anyway, HE gave me the idea of 40 days of prayer again for....

well, I have been praying for several women and families....
I have been asked by my husband to pray for certain answers....
I get prayer requests that just bless me cause they asked and I am honored to pray...
But there are also some very close and special people  that I just need to concentrate and pray, ...HERE I go....

If you come across this blog and you believe I am praying for you - then receive it.
If I have sent you a are probably 'mentioned' in this prayer. I pray your receive it.
If you come across and read this and it does not apply to you...then I would ask that you read the post and pray with me and be in agreement for what I have petitioned God for.  Either way, I believe that is what HE has called me to do again. And I pray you receive it.

I also believe it is no accident that there are only 40 days of school left....maybe  my prayer time has something to do with the end of school - God knows, I trust, time will tell.

OK  Here is goes...Day ONE....

Lord, I placed the photo of rock that is cracked and the words speak about forgiveness at the beginning of this post.  Lord, there is one tonight that is seeking forgiveness from another, from her husband, from a parent, from herself....

God, the words say that Forgiveness is not of the weak but of the strong, so I will say this....I need your help as I have been slipping a bit.  You know my inner prayer in this area and I want that acknowledgement of forgiveness...I want them to apologize...but, in deed....that is not necessary, as I must forgive them no matter what.  Lord, that is hard.  That is a daily thing and recently, it has been more and more ...popping my head, so I give it to you.  Lord, I forgive and I want to be STRONG in doing that - but my strength comes from you.

Lord, for the one that had the tough phone call  to make this eve, she has got some stuff ahead of her and she needs direction and guidance.  She continues to seek you Lord, but this situation is just do it.....DO it.  move, show her, and comfort her heart as she gives the other time, the time she believes is needed. God you know where the trust needs to be, show her and him.

Lord, for the one that was in such tears on Sunday..oh God ...I don't know WHAT to ask for, but YOU know.  YOU know her pain and her heart, she needs you and I know she runs to you and seeks your word....but we need a mountain moved her.  I believe a healing is around the corner - it has been too long.....remove any pride or fear, remove any blinders, so she will not be afraid and move Lord.  They are yours.

Lord, for that one too, who is broken hearted. I will not give up nor believe that YOU can't restore this. You know what has to be done first and then next, I pray she will allow you to move and work and just seek you in the meantime.  Lord, she has difficult tasks and needs peace so she can slowly rebuild herself.  I place her right there, at your feet.

Lord, for the one whom I started this  40 days for so long ago ..continued healing for her.  Lord, that she won't sweep anything under the rug but that she would SEEK you now it a totally new and different way ....healed of a few past hurts, but seeking healing on the rest.  I know what works Lord -- being in fellowship with YOU and being around people that SPEAK life into me...may there be one that speaks to her - tomorrow!
  May her heart yearn and long to attend a service and be FED by you.

Lord, for the one reading this that I was unaware of...they are reading my stuff and searching for something.  When I searched the internet for YOUR help, you provided with several Christian women that I could 'read' and gleam from... God I pray she is gleaming whatever is needed off this and she too, will find comfort within a blog or a site that speaks LIFE and speaks YOU into her.  Lord, bless her curiosity.

Ok Lord, I am getting tired and punchie...
Tonight's theme is forgiveness, God,  I search my heart and please search my heart to make sure...there is no unforgiveness with in me...Oh God.  MOVE   ...or move my prayer requests.  Lord, I honor you, and I believe in miracles.

Lord, I believe in restoration.
Lord, I believe in listening to the Holy Spirit you have given I will refuse to believe that 'some love is dead'...I have seen love come back to life.  I have seen a person walk so totally away from you, and harden his heart...but I have watched godly sorrow, repentance,and redemption and I am  so proud to be called YOURS.  So Lord, as I end this, grant me favor this eve....

a good night's rest....
my kids need to do their best again tomorrow on their FCAT practice...
that new friend needs to sleep this eve...
that older friend needs to be in her own home.....
that one needs salvation...
that one needs freedom from the oppression around her
and that one just needs YOUR BIG hug this eve....

OH LORD, in YOUR name - amen.