Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Confess Your healing....... Part 2 of Wonders Never Cease!

YES, these two blogs go together.  

I don't claim to have written this below, after meeting with some wise people  this evening, whom Brendan and I believe teach and grow us -- I dug and dug and found this.  

You see -- I know that if some doctor told me tomorrow, "the test results are...."  I know that I know I would look at him or her and say, "NO WAY!" God has told me exactly WHAT He needs me to do and I will obey -- so, I won't believe in this medical truth - I will believe in my Jesus's truth and He says, I am healed - by His stripes, I am healed.  

And, as I thought about this over and over this evening,  I was reminded of some news I was given seven years ago when I was told something was very dead.  But I knew that I knew - God had placed that relationship in my heart and God would not fail me.  I got angry at Satan and demanded and  prayed  and claimed-- as there would be healing and restoration.  And there was.  Mind you, it took some TIME and it was hard as in the middle of that - God was refining me, but  I confessed  that with God all things are possible.   I believed  in the impossible -- and I believe, now,  that God wants to do even more through me -- way beyond what Christ accomplished here on earth - exceedingly and abundantly beyond my imagination......

So with that -- what is it that needs healing this evening?  A marriage?  A broken heart?   A sickness?  A medical report?  What will you accept? 

 Will you tell the Devil to get the hell away?   

This prayer can be adjusted to fit Your healing -- I truly believe that our most important words spoken -- are that of His Word and His Truth. 

 Do we believe in God's Word or not?  

Daily Healing Confession

(To be confessed daily like taking medication.)
God you said that I shall declare a thing and it shall be accomplished and established. (Job 22:28) That life or death is in the power of the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21)  I therefore speak life, resurrection life in the mighty name of Jesus over my ______________ . (Name part of body.)  By the blood of Jesus I am the righteousness of God in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21) Though all the hosts of hell march in to make a second claim they must all march out at the mention of his name. JESUS! All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me by Jesus in His name. (Matthew 28:18)  No weapon formed against me shall prosper and all those and everything that rises up in judgment against me shall be silenced and defeated. (Isaiah 54:17) The devil has no power over me, no unsettled claims against me, all has been settled by the blood of Jesus. I have authority to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all the devils power.  Nothing shall by any means hurt me. (Luke 10:19) Since God is for me, no one or nothing can sustain an attack against me. (Romans 8:31) I take authority over the enemy in the mighty name of Jesus.

God is my refuge and my fortress my strong tower, in Him I will trust. I am abiding under the shadow of the Almighty. In Him I am taking refuge. Though the arrow flies by day and the terror stalks at night it will not come near my dwelling. (Psalm 91:2-7) Sickness, infirmity, disease, illness and cancer of every kind have no power over me and must leave in the name of Jesus Christ. (John 14:14)  God you are Jehovah Rapha. You are the God who heals. (Exodus 15:26) You sent your word and healed me. (Psalm 107:20)  By the stripes of Jesus I am healed because Jesus paid the price at the whipping post for me. (Isaiah 53:5) He shed His blood through the 39 stripes that cut furrows down His back. There is a stripe there for this condition in my ___________.  (1 Peter 2:24)  He was wounded for my transgressions He was bruised for my iniquities, the chastisement of my peace was upon Him and by His stripes I am healed. (Isaiah 53:5)

Behold He is the Lord the God of all flesh there is nothing too hard for Him. Nothing! Absolutely nothing! (Jeremiah 32:27) He has promised to do exceeding abundantly above anything I can ask or think according to the power of the Holy Spirit that lives and works within me. (Ephesians 3:20) Everyone and everything that rises up against me will be torn down, driven back and away from me. I therefore take authority over and cast down every sickness and disease attacking me and thereby exalting itself against the knowledge of God. I tear down and cast out and away every stronghold in the mighty name of Jesus. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
All things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  (Romans 8:28) My times are in His hands. (Psalm 31:15)  And I love Him because He first loved me, called me out of darkness into His glorious light and revealed His sovereign purpose for me to serve Him. (1 John 4:9, 1 Peter 2:9, Psalm 138:8)  God is good. (Psalm 145:9) God is working for good in my life. (Romans 8:28)  God loves me. (Jeremiah 31:3)  He has promised that all who sow to the spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:8)

 This is my season for favor and for blessing, a time to reap the blessing and benefit of what has been sown in and through my life. He said to forget none of His benefits who forgives all my iniquity and heals all my diseases, for He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with loving kindness and compassion. He promised to satisfy my desire with good things so that my youth is renewed like the eagles. (Psalm 103:2-5) His intention is that I might prosper and be in good health even as my soul prospers. (3 John 1:2)  He promised that He will fulfill His purposes for me and not forsake the work of His hand. (Psalm 138:7-8)  Jesus said if I ask anything in His name it will be done by My Father in heaven. (John 15:16)

 He said ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened. (Luke 11:9)  When you pray, believe that you have received and it shall be done.  (Mark 11:24) Thank you Father that you hear me, that if I pray anything according to your will, you not only hear me but the answer is already on its way. (1 John 5:14-15)  I praise you therefore in all things. In everything I give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning me. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) I thank you Lord that the victory is mine in Jesus’ name. I thank you that you have begun a good work in me and you are bringing it to completion. (Philippians 1:6) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Rebekah -- I believe!  And as everyone stands in the gap and prays around the clock -- we are just praising and thanking God in that time for the healing that is yours -- IN Jesus name.  

Love you girl -- "Mrs. Pritchard".

A reminder - wonders never cease!

 I wrote this many  months ago and MANY read it.   It needs to be posted again -- Jesus has already taken the stripes - and we are healed.   Now since I have written this -- my sweet sister in Christ has continued to battle with the 'cancer' that seems to still be at bay within her body.  And, there are a community of believers  praying and believing that indeed  - they  are thanking God for her victory.

But I must say this.   Maybe it will take the doctor's giving up so that God's miracle and healing can be visible to us here on earth....?  Maybe?     I believe in God's Word.  Jesus confessed God's Word all the time while he was on earth.  So, I believe that NO weapon formed against my sweet Sister in Christ will prevail.  I believe that what was prophesied over her -- will still come into fruition.

Call me crazy -- but I am thanking God ...not begging God to heal her.
I am thanking God for the healing that was given to all of us on Calvary.
 I am believing  that indeed -- my pal "Pookie" will indeed walk back into those doctor's offices and they will only be able to say -- "THAT was God!"

And I am believing that what was prophesied over her ( read the rest of this blog ) will indeed come into fruition!

Who is with me??

God wants this for us -- we must step into our healing -- it has already been done!  


I am going to try and ask Holy Spirit to truly take over my fingers as this morning I had such a sweet  and incredible time with  Jesus, God,  and Holy Spirit that right now -- I am still shaking a bit.

Not to freak anyone out -- but, these Jesus High's that He allows me to experience are tremendous.  I know they could come daily -- but am I really ready for that?    I watched a video last night about ECSTATIC prayer .... or maybe it was ecstatic intercession ....it does not matter right now.

(I also realize that my work schedule does not allow me to have many days where I just devote 6-8 hours in prayer and being with HIM.  Today -- my day off, I had the time. )

Back to the video....

What I came away asking God about was this... 

"Could I really pray for 6-8 hours?"....And THEN..."would I experience YOUR presence Lord in such a way that YOUR glory spilled out and all over -- everything and everyone?"  

Prayer with out ceasing -- that is scriptural and I believe He has taught me how to do that -- it is by the way I live, the way I act, and by placing HIM first in each and every moment, situation, and circumstance.  --- Even in the profound stuff, even in the awkward stuff , and even in the stuff I don't understand.  He is first.

CUE...the Lauren Daigle song "FIRST" ----

Ok, back to the focus of this blog -  Wonders Never Cease- I believe I had to share that intro to let you know that what I am about to claim and believe is kind of HARD for me to put down in public/print.

 'Cause, what if I am wrong? 

 What if God does not allow this prayer, this vision, and this to come into fruition??

As I say that and as I type, God gave me 3 confirmations  already today -- which gives me courage and boldness to go ahead and claim a healing.


 And  further still, if what I believe and pray will happen does not come into fruition - I am still praising and claiming God WON.  Period.

Let me refresh your memory, below is part of a blog I posted on November 1st, 2015, I realize that this is a LONG read and you may have read this already; ok, but allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you as you read and join with me in believing that again tomorrow -- the doctor's will be astounded as to what they see from those scans! 

Today, my husband and I had  the privilege to visit a local body of believers and stand with a young lady and her husband  who is battling cancer for the 4th time.  It started 10 years ago, she has replacement parts in her leg and shoulder.   She had beaten Cancer each and every time.  She has  even had a portion of her skull removed.  Tomorrow she undergoes a reconstruction surgery  at the area where the skull was removed but they will also remove a new spot of her skull, above her ear.    Cancer.  And, a follow up report from last week has revealed that new cancer is in 7 of her vertebrae.  It certainly seems -- from a 'human' perspective -- HOW on earth can she battle this?   

I think about Noah and how God spoke to him and asked him to build an ark.  I wonder if Noah asked, HOW? 

I think about Mary as she saw the angel of the Lord  and did she say,  "HOW are you going to do this My Lord?"

I think about Esther and her story in the bible and in those  moments, when she saw Mordecai  in sack cloth and he said to her -- ( I am paraphrasing ) --  "Don't think you were not created for such a time as this....don't think that you will escape death too --   God will do what HE is going to do - but what are YOU going to do?"  She had not been called to see the King in over 30 days.  She had her position because of her beauty -- but that could not save her people.  Only God could....  

And tonight I think about a very fine young man and his wife and how tomorrow a decision is going to be made.  I know that we bring about our own consequences when we  make  our choices, but I also know that we serve and are loved by a  Mighty Father, a Father  of second chances and that God searches our hearts and I believe HE wants to give us the desires of our heart! Tomorrow,   an event will transpire and several  have been in prayer with them  and for them for some time now,  and I wonder ...Lord, HOW are you going to fix or solve this...?  What will transpire? 

Let me share with you some words that Beth shared in this study ...

 We are not God.
We are not responsible. 
When we feel like Jr. god's... we feel responsible -- we are not.  

TRUST reverses the detours of adversity into the highways of destiny!  

Trust...  Trust...  Trust!  

 The Lord knows how to" rescue the godly from trials and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment".   ( 2 Peter 2.9)  

For He "knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."   Psalm 103.14

We are human.
We are not God.
We are not responsible.

He calls us to be obedient.
He asks us to follow HIS Word.
He asks us to pray but then we TRUST....

I trust God. 
God will do the HOW. 
I will PRAISE God that our visit today to Rebekah's church was a united visit --  my husband and me.  Our daughter and her husband joined us! 

I will believe and thank God for Rebekah's miracle -- that when they run tests again in a few weeks -- the doctor's will be dumbfounded ...as that cancer is gone.  I know My Lord can do that.  I know HE will if that is HIS purpose and Will for Rebekah and her husband.  I believe Jared is going to play a major role within this healing....as the prayers of a husband for his wife as he calls upon the Power of the Holy Spirit residing in him.....will invoke a supernatural healing through Christ... God is going to get this glory within this and Jared will testify to many of his generation that -- marriage is God's design for a man and woman and God wants our young people to be obedient and not 'play around' that the institution of marriage is indeed - God's design.  Rebekah has access to all of the gifts God gave her and  Rebekah's faith is keeping her strong.  She has supernatural faith - that is a dynamic gift.  I believe God will heal her -  She knows that no matter what -- Jesus is with her. 

All of us are only one breath away from heaven or hell.  When I look in Rebekah's eyes --  I see a fighter.  I believe God will heal her and I am going to beg HIM that it is on THIS side of heaven.  But, I  TRUST God ....God has faith in Rebekah -- that through her -- MANY will come to know the true relationship ....that HIS CROSS has to be enough.  But I also know, God will give Rebekah and Jared  the desires of their  hearts....  I trust God.  

And to my precious daughter and her husband...and to my precious Rebekah and her husband.....

"When, because of YOUR faith, your life too becomes perceptibly different: when YOUR reactions are quite opposite to what the situation seems to call for and YOUR activities can no longer be explained in terms of your personality:  that is when YOUR neighborhood will sit up and take notice.  In the eyes of the world, it is not our RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ that counts: it is our RESEMBLANCE to HIM!".     

Now, let me share with you an update.
That particular doctor's visit did give results.  Results that her cancer was not gone, that is had spread and that more treatments would be needed.

Since then, I have prayed with Pookie several times, visited her in the hospital and even laughed with her last Saturday and at each and every visit - she does not look like a cancer patient to me, nor a victim.  The lack of hair may give you an inkling but her spirit, her smile, and her faith tells me and shows me - she is a cancer survivor.    Period.

She was placed into a clinical trial and those doctor's felt that everything she was doing with her current medical team was perfect and to continue.  So -- scans were taken this past week and tomorrow -- she will get results.  No clinical trial  - just continued treatment.

This is the HARD part to post - but not really, as I am trusting God. 

I believe Rebekah is going to be a mom.  I believe children are in her future.  I believe she and her husband will use this experience to remind everyone they speak to ...that knows them....to be obedient to HIM...  seek HIM...and HE will provide...bless...heal...comfort...and BE all.   

I believe tomorrow that Jared and Rebekah will have some astounded doctors.  I declare God wins.

I could list for you -- several physical healings and emotional healings and people being raised from the dead....spiritual death to help support my belief.

For example, Terri was in church yesterday, 3 weeks from getting a life saving liver transplant.  Doc, my dear friend and sojourner in this journey of ministry ...   was given 2 livers within a 24 hour period... a miracle...

My own husband is a walking testimony that God raises people from spiritual death.

 I am a former Pharisee whose pious religious notions and views stifled the work of God for almost 38 years!!

 I worship with a woman,  Christa,  that defied odds and did not take  the cancer treatment and
listened to God, was obedient to what He told her  and was healed.  I know a woman that Satan wanted Dead...but she listened to doctors, hunkered down in prayer and a mighty cloud of witnesses prayed and God healed her through those doctor's and prayers -- cause the work HE had for them was not finished yet.

I believe Rebekah and Jared are those type -- God is not finished.  I believe Rebekah and Jared are being used by HIM but that HE has SO much more...cause wonders never cease......

But yes, I also know others that hunkered down and were healed in heaven.

Now, How did God confirm this to me today ??   Through HIS Word and a bible study I am presently into.  I must give credit to Beth Moore and her Believing God Study.  And there is more --  I am actually doing 3 studies right now -- and He is speaking the same words through ALL three of them.  Which just amazes me, then again it doesn't as God is the master at multi-tasking using all of HIS children to reach the lost.

Jesus performed miracles -- "Men of Israel, listen to this:  Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and sign, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know."    Acts. 2.22  

Christ's miracles, as supreme as they are, gave accreditation and glorification to God.  They were also because Jesus was moved to compassion, HE saw a great need, and HE saw great faith.

God does use suffering and dfficuluty to complete HIS good work as he is MOST concerned with the internal...rather than the external...Beth Moore Week 3 

I believe HE wants to use Rebekah and Jared for more - as their internal is secure.
Rebekah knows that she knows...no matter what, she will proclaim the love of Jesus.

I believe Jesus had NO time qualifier when he said in Mark 9.23, "everything is possible for him who believes".  

I may err today -- but I am going to err on the side of belief.    I can't lose when I am earnestly seeking God.  Rebekah and Jared won't lose...as they are earnestly seeking God. 

I believe that even if the doctor's tell Rebekah and Jared tomorrow that the cancer is till there -- they won't accept defeat.
I believe that Rebekah and Jared are surrounded by MANY who are willing to continue to pray BIG prayers and have that miracle.  THAT 4th miracle.  Period.

I believe  they will allow the doctor's to do what they can do and invite God to do what ONLY HE can do!!   

I believe  like Paul...in the unexplainable sovereignty of God!

 I read in God's Word today ( Acts 19) --- Paul,  and how even his handkerchief had the glory of God on it to heal another and yet, he also had to leave his pal Trophimus sick and behind to continue his work.  So why one healed and not the other?      "With  no shadow of doubt - We can know, that  the issue  is not a  lack of divine love or kindness. "  ( Beth and I agree!)   Many eternal factors are involved that we won't understand until we see Christ face-to-face.  Until then...I won't hinder my belief in healings...and miracles..and wonders...  I won't.

I say all of that to say this...

Rebekah and Jared -- I believe that tomorrow, Your faith will be strengthened and that HE has you both.  I believe HE is showing you WHAT He wants you both to do next...  so get ready.  

Rebekah ..this cancer is not about me blogging and having another 500 people read it, nor 500 people praying...this cancer is about - GOD and HOW HE is getting glory from it - through YOU.  Miss Melanie stated that back when we met at her house....back in August?  September...?   Remember?  

As I have heard you say -- HE felt YOU were chosen to do this for HIM.  And, as HE has heard the cries of Your heart and secret prayer requests....THIS is the hard part I am claiming...that He will grant you that desire to be a mom and to have that little one.  As I believe, YOU are healed.  I just reread the blog I posted in November and how "of God" that much of what I wrote then - has come into fruition already!!  

As I had you  state on Saturday,  " I am healed".  .....Continue to praise God for that - as Your healing is in HIM and I believe you will have some medical knowledge to prove it tomorrow.  And if not -- HE will speak to YOU BOTH....you and Jared as to what to do next.  I believe and know, HE is not finished with your work here on this earth.  

There are more that need to hear of a husband's choice to believe in Holy Spirit and pray over his wife and believe in something unseen.  I believe more need to hear of how HE speaks to you and reassures you that YOU will be fine.  I believe more need to hear of HOW in the present moment of uncertainty...your faith does not waiver. 

 And I believe...HE wants to show off and cure your cancer for a 4th time. 

I must confess, when you and I spoke that first time about this.... my flesh wanted to say, "really Lord, you would heal her a 4th time?"...And when you said it with me...it was like Holy Spirit began to praise and jump for joy in my body as I drove into town and you were on that other end...."going for 4".   Amen. 
And I am believing with TP - it will be a boy!  

  And yes..."Really Lord, thank you for healing her a 4th time!".   I am excited to hear what HE will speak to YOU and Jared tomorrow.  And I know, You are healed.  

- humbled and amazed by what HE does.   - Michelle

No honor and glory for this blog...me...  or anything else...it is ALL for HIM.
HE gets the credit --
HE is sovereign!

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

When we try to make sense of things --

 With all of today's news coverage about the senseless terroism attack across the sea, the title of this blog grabbed me. 
I wrote it back in 2015.  As I read it, I found myself trying to make sense of something again.  I have been praying with one wife for over a year now.  I told God a few days ago -- enough was enough -- the time span had been long enough and with that I began to try and figure out the 'why'....

And again, God extends such mercy and reminds me -- He is not surprised and He has not abandoned the situation.  He also reminded me of how I 'dealt' with a similar situation for almost three years -- that indeed I needed those three years to truly get to the END of myself. 

So I am sharing again.  When we try and make sense....


One of the things I have learned is THAT I can't make sense of things.

Well let me explain....I can make sense that 2 + 2 = 4.
I can tell you that if I turn the oven on - it gets hot.
I understand and realize that it takes 9 months or longer to produce a baby....and that only women can do that!
I realize that most problems are caused by our own actions but some problems or situations are not our fault or caused by our actions.

THAT is when I continually go to God and ask WHY.?

However, in my 49+ years now - I realize that HE does not have to explain HIMSELF - HE is God.

When we try to figure it out - we are putting ourselves RIGHT there as an equal with HIM.

I don't ever want to do that.
I don't want to even think that I know it all.
I don't.

Earlier this week, I prayed with a woman about a situation and we both wanted to try and figure out the 'why'...but I had to remind myself and her -- sometimes we are never given the 'why'...we have been allowed into this situation because HE wants to teach us something, or draw us close, or discipline us -- in any of the circumstances --   God has to be the one in control. 

Five years ago, I asked many - to stand in the gap with me and pray for a man that had 'soul cancer'.  I misinterpreted scripture and went before a body of believers and 'called him out'.  I asked strangers that worshiped with me, in a polite  and tearful way, to join  with me and pray for my husband.  I really thought I had it figured out.  I really believed that I would go before many,  seek their prayers,  and  by the end of the week - my family would be restored.
 I just really thought it was THAT simple.

Boy - was I WRONG.
 Now, God knew my heart and HE brought some very good  results out of that situation but by my doing that it  also severed any bit of real hope  in him - for my husband to even think I could be trusted.

I mean, it totally severed 'what was left' of the relationship I had with that him at that time and moment. 
 He was hurt.   I was to pray for him...I was to seek others to join me in prayer - but I wasn't to make a public spectacle of it - there were many people that were unaware of his actions and it brought shame and hurt.  Since then, I have sought out forgiveness -- I was just wrong.   I was  an immature Christian.  A hurting woman.  But I had NO clue of that at the time.......but I believe God used my choice of action as a teaching point for me and for others as well.  ( HE later taught and showed me where I went wrong - it was a lesson I will never forget!)

The bible says, "he who is without sin -cast the first stone".  There was one thing I really did not know or understand....secret sin.  I had secret sin too - I shouldn't of cast a stone - as I was just as guilty of sin.

Sin is sin.
Some sin is public for others to see.
Most sin is private.

But sin is sin.  God is the judge - not me...not others...not others!
I had hatred in my heart.
I had committed spiritual adultery. But no one really saw that....

It is hard to make sense of things. Most times it is impossible!

Taylor created this.....
I am thankful that God planted a seed of hope within me  so I was able to wait. God continually spoke to me in LOUD impressions and gave me direct words through HIS word and HIS servants.

  I wish I could say I waited patiently...from the outside people said I was patient,  but I really wasn't.

 But God had to do so much FIXING in me first and had to change quite a bit of me and how I thought about stuff - cause I was still trying to make sense.

  However, I also had to learn to trust God.  I had to let God be my ONE true love.

Once you really get a grip on WHAT that means.....with GOD being ALL.....the rest does not seem to be THAT important.  And the NEED to have it figured out ---diminished.

So again, I blog this evening and there is a deep burden on my heart and it has been a focus of prayer today and I am reminded that I don't have to try and make sense of it all.

I am reminded that God wins.
I am reminded that a window of heaven has opened -- now -- today --- there is a movement within our American churches today -- we want MORE of HIM.
I believe the women of God are rising up.....I have seen this. 
I believe the women of God are understanding that we must TRUST HIM more!

And because of that -- the ENEMY will be striking more.
I am also reminded that our time is short. 

 He will continue to seek, kill, and destroy as we as women of God are hated by him.  He is a liar.  And with our world so quick to be mindful of 'what is right'......we, as women of God,  will NEED to be strong with our ARMOR ON!

 WE must be ready!

 Our families.....ARE being attacked.


I bet it is around you too - I bet that if you are reading this and you  are aware of the spiritual rheum - there is someone that you could STAND in the gap for right now....let them know you will pray...please.  THAT meant SO much to me in  my time of crisis of faith....OH GOD...THAT is how HE sustained me.

And I will leave you with this scripture that blessed me so  and credit my daughter for the graphic!

Lamentations  3. 29  from the Message bible...

"When life is heavy and hard to take,  go off by yourself.  Enter the silence.  Bow in prayer.  Don't ask questions. Wait for hope to appear."

Or -

Get away by yourself...seek HIM.  Allow HIM to speak to you - be quiet.  BOW in prayer - do it.  Don't ask God why...don't ask questions.....listen, read HIS word...and wait for hope to appear and it will.  

I know it will.  
I have lived long enough to know -- that while we are in the middle of something...it seems hard to see BEYOND the hurt and the circumstances......but HOLD on -- allow the friend to pray for you...

.....allow another to stand in the gap...
Go before HIM...seek HIM....
Hold your tongue - but be villigent in prayer and watch....God will give you little tidbits of blessings or signs where you will know .....HE is at work - so wait for the FULL answer or the HOPE to appear!  

God wins.  
I have seen it within our lives.  Don't give up!  

Psalm 27.13 

 I would of despaired unless I had believed that I'd see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!   



And I will add -- Lord, for all of the families that were affected by the attack in Manchester yesterday -- Lord, as Your Kingdom calendar continues to move forward -- I do believe there is an urgency for all of us to show more love to others and be Jesus to everyone.  I pray for that couple this eve, the one most up front in our prayers and hearts -- God I pray that this evening there would be a shift.  And I pray for that other couple -- who also needs a shift in something, I pray You would move the mountain or move her  ....and for anyone just reading this -- that seems to want to try and make sense of things, God I pray as your mercifully show them what is best, I pray they will totally trust You, In Jesus Name.  

PS Lord, that includes me too!   

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Being transparent -- confession time.

I think this blog today is  for  me --  just me, sitting here recording in my journal  what the HS  ( Holy Spirit) and I have been thinking about, chatting about, and working through this morning.  

However, this is me and I do believe that some times people think I have it all together and I don't -- but this is my head, this is my thinking out loud, and his is my journey with our Father ....and this is where I am this am!  And, I do believe God wants me to be transparent and share -- as He will  use it for another.  


I watched an artist paint a canvas last night -- the photo was posted on FB so I snuck a copy of it and will share. The  credit goes to the beautiful artist - Linda Robertson.   I watched as she had the background pretty much done when I saw it at first.   Or at least I think she did -- I was not at the GPS fellowship time last night, I  arrived when worship began because I really did not want to fellowship with anyone -- I just wanted to me selfish and be ministered to.  Just being honest.  How many of us come to church 5-10 min late so we don't have to speak to others and then leave when the prayer line is called??  Guilty.  I am.

But I digressed, back to that painting -- 

The  foundation had to be painted first.  I can paint.  Well let me clarify - I can copy.  I always admired and wanted to be like the artists who could just sit and go for it - do people, do objects without having something to study and copy.  But as I said, I can copy.  I get it -- some people would WANT that  talent-- I know God gave me -- but again I come back to that foundation -- the beginning.

Let me put that painting here -  

When I began to worship  and then sneak a peek at her progress, I noticed a faint cross appearing in the background.  At this point it could of been a painting of a bunch of rocks or even a forest, but the blue color certainly was prevalent and one could assume there was going to be water.

The theme last night was how God was pouring out - His living water and that He was lavishly pouring His love onto his Bride.

 It was a beautiful picture -- not only all of the paintings being painted while we worshiped, but also of the 150+ women worshiping God.  Some quiet and still, some kneeling, some with hands up and some trying to dance without looking weird or a little silly.  I have to remind myself always -- this is 'my' worship time to focus on God and concentrate on Him -- but also, I don't want to be a hindrance or distraction for another believers.  Parameters.  It will be great -- one day IN HEAVEN where we won't have the human aspect of our worship and we may be free now - but we will be totally FREE then. Unity.

Back to the painting -

As the night continued one spoke about How God is RIGHT here and giving us an outpouring.  Can you feel it?  Let it be released.  Then a silly girl got up there on stage and invited everyone to her church for another public event next weekend -- but TOTALLY forgot  to introduce herself, give the name of the church, or even  give a good review of the time for the event  after her promo.  And she is a teacher?  A leader?           That would be me.

Me -- who still gets SO NERVOUS in front of her friends, strangers,  or peers -- but needs to have a teleprompter to remind her.  So if you are reading this - forgive me.  THERE was so much more that was going on in my head and I could only share a bit. 

  But you ARE invited to PINK Impact next Friday and Saturday.  Maybe you can only come on Friday - that is OK.  Maybe you can only sneak in Saturday morn - that is OK too.  It is a RE-broadcast event.  I receive a link to a live stream and I get to play it again next weekend as it is, actually   LIVE,  as I type this blog in Texas. 

 Some people will tell me, "I don't like a simulcast cause it is not authentic".  I believe God can use a paper bag to tell  of his mercies with another so I say, "don't put God in a box - come, try -- and if your heart is OPEN - YOU will receive.  Period.  And this is a VERY good way to cast a net -- invite a lost friend or co-worker and let them know we will have child care and it is FREE!" 

By the way, My Pastor wanted to offer it free and I was the one that convinced him we needed to collect the $10 at the door -- to make up for the cost.  But if you read my blog so far -- God spoke!  

Now back to me and being transparent..... 

You see when "Rain Down"  was sung - I got mad.

 And I told God -- "that is MY song" and I knew immediately I was to go to the cross.  And repent.   I was raised VERY competitively. I am the oldest of nine.  You had to be first to eat... and get that last Rice Krispie bar or there was none left.  But also, as a child --I was taught that my church was God's first church.  The best church.  As it was started by St. Peter.  Jesus's first picked disciple.   Even so much as we would get on the bus and sit on one side cause the kids from the "other denomination" had to sit away from us.  I even felt we could not socialize with them.   I mean, I don't remember any adult exactly saying that to me -- but that is what I learned from listening to comments, reading in between the lines, and just being a kid in the 70's. Or it could be that I witnessed many arguments with family members when one of my uncles dated a  girl from a different denomination  and the discussion began about where one would attend church?   I even had a  friend that had one Catholic parent and one Lutheran parent and I never saw her parents together at a function.   Us humans can get stuff so mixed up.  Anyway - I digressed --

 So, for many many years, I was always in that prideful state of 'where' I attended church - as THAT had to be the right and best  place and when the singer  ( Alisha) began to sing that song -- I said, "that is my song".

And I realized how the enemy can sneak in so quickly.

 I got beyond my pride and enjoyed that song throughly -- as it belongs to God and ALL of His bride and the lady singing it co-wrote it with another and so she CAN SING it wherever she wants!!  

But, let me get back to being transparent here -- after I enjoyed that song, the HS reminded me I was to be AT the feet of Jesus so I made my way to the back of the sanctuary and then I laid at His feet and allowed HS to minister to me.   I confessed.  I cried.  I shook.  I wept.    And quickly -- very quickly -- God spoke.

He reminded me that I was His daughter and  there was no need to compare myself -to ANY one. He reminded me that He would give me the words to say as I  promoted  the Pink Event and He also knew what I was scared of -- what was making my heart literally POUND and I could feel  my blood pressure going up.  

He reminded me HE took the nails already and to LOOK up -- and see the beauty in the cross that was at the alter there -- it was full of nail marks -- where women had left their hurts and bondages at His feet - THAT was the ultimate church -- THAT was His intention.   I assumed it was a cross that had been used at a Women's Encounter as we have a very similar one at our alter where I attend on Sundays.

And then -- He told me to offer the event next weekend at our church for FREE.  The  practical person in me said, "God -- we don't have extra like these bigger churches have  and that cost needs to be recouped so we can do it again in 2018...."  To which he reminded me  through a song that played at that moment  in my head -- "when did I forget that you've always been the King of the World".   (Natalie Grant's song - perfect.)

I knew instantly it was not a matter of $$ -- it was about His Kingdom.  Amen. Unity.

The entire night was about unity.  And God wasn't finished with me.  He did more work within my head and heart as the next speaker spoke but I believe I will finish here.....

One of the lessons that God has been teaching me -- weaning me from is:  affirmation.
I crave affirmation.  I believe MANY of us do.  Soul Wounds -- I am to pursue and do WHAT He has asked me to - even if it costs.  That looks different in some ways -- but doing His HARD work and being obedient is where He wants ALL of us.

I also have been beating to death my pride - daily.  The only solace I get is that every once in a great while Beth Moore or maybe Lisa Harper will blog or I will hear a teaching and they admit -- they still battle it too -- and I forgive myself.

Its funny -- no its really sad-- as GOD has been forgiving me of that for many many many years and yet, I don't believe it  in my heart until I hear Beth or maybe my friend Barbara confirm it ........But ...that is me.

I have a feeling, there are others like me reading this.  If not - that is OK too! As I don't have to have the affirmation on this blog -- it comes from God.  ( Just a side note -- I used to check my readership of this blog literally by the hour.  I just realized this am - I have not checked it in over a week.  As I do check it - but now its maybe once a week rather than each hour.  And  THAT for me is healing.  Just a funny thing - but that is me! So, I am releasing that NEED for affirmation!)  

Back to that affirmation thing.  As I was having time with God this am, He reminded me that I still don't totally trust Him to really HAVE my heart and HOLD it when it comes to affirmation.   I have trusted him at some very hard times but when things seem to get 'better'....I slack off. And at those HARD times, God had people that were constantly feeding my head with affirmation.  Now that stuff is a little better --  I don't necessarily have that affirmation anymore.  However, God does supply it when HE knows I need it.

I wanted it- after I felt like a foolish kid when I promoted the Pink Event -- but it did not happen.  And allowing myself to let God just be God -- was indeed a process.

A lot has transpired since we rang in the new year -- a lot.  One big thing is our  new home.  I have blogged about that -- but there has been some personal setbacks, transitions,  and just stuff that I can't blog about  -- but that God has allowed and He has given me great peace -- but as I told the ladies who prayed for me last night --

"it sucks" ..."can't the Rapture just happen - now?".

And they laughed at me.  And God sweetly reminded me -- I was His daughter.
And another sister in Christ whispered that in my ear last night before I went home  - so God gave me that "HUMAN" affirmation.  God is SO stinkin sweet!

Now BACK  to that beautiful painting.

As the night went on, details were added.  I began to notice how the outline of a cross which seemed to be obscure in the background began to come out and get bigger.  Then more and more details and more refinements  were added.  Shadows and extra color to bring a fullness to the painting.  I watched her, she sat a few times and looked at her painting from a different angle.    Then she would add more highlights and you could see she was concentrating - making it just right.   Then at some point, the artist felt it was done.  From where I was sitting -- God was speaking to me through that process.

I thought about how this is such a parallel picture of our lives.

Our foundation....Christ was placed there maybe in our childhood but it was off in the distant.   Where was Christ placed in your childhood? IS  his cross obscure in your life?  

That Cross stayed  in the background, until more layers had to be added to our lives, color, highlights,  and then in that  painting -- it popped out.  What about our lives?  What has been added - what color?  Has the Cross now popped out in your life?

And the Great Artist - our Father watched and allowed more refinements and added His touches and all of a sudden   --

All of a sudden what?

Where are you?

 I believe the Great Artist is not finished with me yet - as if He was - I would be in heaven and complete.

 So, while I live in this 21st Century and navigate the waters of my  life -- I will hug onto, grab ahold of, and grasp  that Cross  - any which way I can and look up -- what a beautiful illustration. The Waves may come crashing in, but she is looking up!

I look forward to that homecoming -- heaven when we are 'finished' and then beginning a new eternity with Jesus, Holy Spirit and our Father.

Lord, for the unfinished details that you are still working out and painting within the lives of me and within those hearts and heads who are reading this -- and can understand my therapy/writing today --I pray that You indeed will meet every need, heal every hurt, and love every moment and spot of our lives.  Especially for the woman represented in that painting.  That woman has been me -- is me... but I also believe she represents many who will read this.   I pray anyone reading this will be encouraged  that indeed we can forgive ourselves when we need to but also that we don't get so full of ourselves.  I pray that anyone one reading this would be encouraged to seek You more and allow you to heal the whatever - even the wrong teaching we may of received as young adults or kids.  I pray that if one is reading this by chance and feels like they can NO longer hold onto that cross, like the lady in the picture - that there would be a sister in Christ RIGHT there - sitting next to them that they can reach out to -- just like you had one there for me when I needed her last night, seven years ago, last week, and even this morning.    I pray specifically for the artist and that You would use this painting for Your glory and that she would indeed be blessed by it.  I also pray Lord that if you commission her to paint more of this  particular painting-- that you would grant me favor to have one - to remind me - to place in my house of worship - to remind me to remind others -- YOU do calm the waters, Yours is the light we look up to and You are holding us RIGHT there as we submit and surrender to YOU!   IN Jesus name, Amen. 

And I pray for those that are in leadership that presented and prayed for the GPS event last night -- as it was indeed a God Encounter and so today - I can basically believe that Satan is totally ticked and most likely those women were attacked in some way - but I believe you AFFIRMED to each of them, THEY were YOUR daughters and they did well in being obedient  - if it was only to push the button on the projector -- every hand was indeed a part of Your glory last night and so therefore bless them and affirm them in the way that meets their needs.  In Jesus name - amen.  

Friday, May 12, 2017

Being a MOM is NOT my greatest Joy --

Did I shock you with that title?

I wrote this blog back in May of 2012.  As I read it today -- I wanted to re-post it and UPDATE it!  

I would add -- that "MAYBE" being a MIMI is now-- my greatest joy -- ha ha ----Little Ava Lynne is certainly a precious little girl that brings me MUCH joy each time I get to hold her,  dance with her,  play with her, and read books with her!!  She belongs to  Jake and Taylor and again, she certainly brings joy -- but there is still something else that brings me JUST as much joy and in some cases -- MORE  JOY.  You must read on.  
We are goofing with my glasses!  

I pray this blog will bless you as a MOM as well because I pray you will understand it and be blessed with WHAT give me such joy!   

 It is  Mother's Day weekend and I am so so so blessed.  I remember reading Beth Moore's blog once and she stated that she needed a word that just meant awesome x 10 but that most of those words had been used and she wanted to create just a new word to describe how wonderful and awesome something was...but the words just failed her......I can relate.

As I would say that being a mom is awesome x 10...wonderful....but there is something that I have discovered that brings me even more joy......

Stay tuned......

I mean, I love my children.  I do.  I am so proud and to see them worship God, to sit next to them in church this past Sunday....when for so long that was NOT a sight....well, it just pleases me and blesses me so.  When I stop to think, I just get a head full of humbleness and  I declare praise to God.

Update:  I don't get to sit next to my kids as often -- one is married now and is a small group life group leader and Sunday School Teacher with her man/husband and so when we can worship together we do... and our son is a graduate now  who lives in Delray -- time flies!  

Jerm. 29.11  says....I know the plans I have for you....declares the Lord..plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future....

My great joy in the future will be sitting in church and seeing a grandkid on a lap of my handsome man or watching my daughter read a story to her very own...or getting a call from my son about some needed prayer or funny that his child did....but THAT joy can be in the future......I can wait on that.  Wait.....Lord, I want to wait on that....in YOUR time.

Update:  What a blessing -- as MOST of this HAS come into fruition -- now a call from my son...?  There is this little thing called MARRIAGE first!!!  LOL. 

My great joy as a kid.....just being right or doing what I was suppose to do, but the greatest times I remember as a kid was going for a long walk back into the woods or laying down in the hay field and then finding out that I was missed.  Is that silly?

My greatest joy in highschool, the summer that Brendan trained me in tennis and I went from JV to Varsity and beat Katie Cane for the #1 seed.  And then Kelly Bradow  challenged me and I beat her too.

In college, great joy was balancing down at Kohl's within  a dime.......or coming out with my drawer at zero....no extra funds...nothing short.

Opps, getting out of order......Graduating.....then getting a job....moving....and being paid a REAL wage......

Getting married  and I remember planning to move into our first apartment, that brought me joy.  Picking out the stencils for the walls, going to art fairs and antique places to get pieces, and then planning out summer trip home and all the visiting we did.

Then the kids come.....greatest joy was being able to sleep in on Thanksgiving morning and watch the parade and then cooking dinner in my home.

Update:   THAT is still a great joy!!   Now I have a house -- to be continued....

Building our home and then slowly decorating it and making memories there.

Taking the kids to Wisconsin to see fall leaves and watch my brother play on the Football team his Senior year.

The list could go on and on.....there are many joys that I have been blessed with.  Many.   Many.  Many.

I read several posts for Mother's Day and devotionals yesterday as well.  And each time, I kept thinking....being a mom is not my greatest joy.


  Now, granted, I am 46...I have lived a bit, had my kids, passed the Motorcycle safety class, and pretty much  did  what I want to do when I wanted  to it .....but that is not my greatest joy.

Update:  I am 51! 

What is.....

I know....

Update:   THIS next part is STILL true!  

Luke 12.34   For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

My greatest joy.....to know that I know....I am highly favored in HIS sight.  To know that I am being obedient and have been...and therefore, what was sowed in tears....will reap in joy.... I sort of paraphrased that scripture.

My greatest joy, to pray for another and see the healing.

My greatest joy,  to be asked to pray for another and believe and know the prayer will be answered.

My greatest joy, to know that I listened to God and HE esteems me for that.

My greatest joy, that acting in faith when you don't know what the outcome will be, can be the most HARD thing to do, but I CAN do hard......

My greatest joy, to hear my daughter tell me her dad prayed for her while I was in Chicago before she went and took her final exam.

Update:   Now she calls her dad for prayer on job decisions and our son calls daily for advice, sharing the days events, and prayer requests!  

My greatest joy, to hear of an answered prayer that I had been praying for ...for almost 18 months.

My greatest joy, to hold a baby or gaze on a photo of a child that was a miracle because of prayer.

My greatest joy, to hear my children pray.

My greatest joy, to hear my son say thank you for 'nothing', when I know in his heart what he means.

My greatest joy, to get lost in a worship song and see a vision that just warms my soul.

My greatest joy, to know that if I screw up ...and I do ...and I will again...I have been forgiven.

My greatest joy, to walk with Jesus, to rely on Him and to know that HE is

 for me ....always.

My greatest joy, to understand the scripture of 1 Peter 4.8  that love covers a multitude of sins...

My greatest joy, that I can rely on the Lord, be strong, and confident in HIM and I can RELY on HIM!

My greatest joy,  to live....today....and know the past is the past, and God has tomorrow, that I don't have to worry.

My greatest joy, to know that I really CAN forgive  those who have hurt and tried to tear at me.

My greatest joy, to see a love restored.

My greatest joy, to know the difference between allowing GOD to be our everything and the other stuff is just wants.

My greatest joy, to look in the eyes of a person who is broken and have empathy and know, that God can heal that.

My greatest joy, to understand that God does allow brokenness....so that we can be molded and to see it happen is a miracle.

My greatest joy, to know...my treasure is in heaven....we are not home yet.

My greatest joy, to be hugged by my Lord - daily.

My list could still go on....however, I do admit  I would add, my greatest joy....is being a mom too!


August 2011....starting over.  

bella our baby......
my little ones and their dad...back in 1997 or 1998
These photos were of the blog in 2012 -- I needed to add a few NEW ones!  

Ava and Her Cousin -- Brinleet

These kids made me "ma"..... 

Friday, May 5, 2017

To my Chidren ..... #2 - UNMET expectations.

This series of   blogs- maybe two or more    continues.   

This series is being   written for children -- adult children.  This series is not necessarily written for my children and yet it may be. And it is being written for the parents of adult children.   I am praying and believing that this blog series will be shared,   be a hope for some parents, be a reality check for others, and maybe it will even give some  the courage  to some paretns to have a heart to heart  conversation with their adult child ---that they have been avoiding.  

I think one of the reasons why I have been avoiding this,  is because I don't want to bring my own children into this. 

 I blog.  

I share my heart --  in and throughout that you learn about my children but in no way do I want the enemy to use ANY part of these blogs to hurt them.  I do have two grown children and their lives and their experiences will probably be woven into these blogs, but this is NOT about them.  Honestly, most of my circle of friends have teens or soon to be adult children and their lives, their heartaches, prayers, and my prayers for them could  also be woven into this series and inspire me to write but then again I truly only write when the Holy Spirit is writing for me.  I trust God.

 Again, I pray this will help - not hurt but there are a few truths, that I will be sharing to all but also to my own children  and nothing I write or say on here, is nothing that I have not already stated or said to each of my children at one time or another -- it is what it is.  So with that -- here is the 2nd one. 

 The 2nd blog  --

What is next?


Let's face it, as parents we place a lot of expectations on our children.  I bet you would agree with me that you "don't want to make the same mistakes your parents made".

Have you heard that?
Have you said that or said, "I want my children to avoid the mistakes I made!"

I knew for certain of a few traditions and actions that were going to be a part of the lives of my children. They were instances and events that I wanted to share with my children and continue fond childhood memories.  For example, I wanted to make sure they knew how to rake fallen leaves and then jump into a hug pile of those raked leaves and walk away itchy from the dead dry crumbles that get into our clothes.  And  there were a few "NO WAYS"  in what I  would allow as well. I knew I did not want my kids to fuss before they went to bed - there was going to be a routine.  I also wanted my kids to go to bed, on time without having to rock or go to bed with them to make them sleep.  And a funny one -- I was not going to let my kids eat in the car and make a mess..... 

  But, time passes.   And now as we have grown up children do our expectations change?
I have been thinking about this.

No....   what I wanted for my children as kids -is what I want for them now.
I want God's fullness to be a part of their lives.
I want God's favor on their lives.
I want God to be first in their lives.
I want them to WANT God.

Now, being honest -- that was not always what I wanted.  I mean, I knew I wanted them to love God but in my 20's and 30's.... I really didn't know  to like or much less love God --like I know Him now and today.  So, I only wanted for them what I 'knew'.  In hindsight - I realize -- what I wanted was limited.  But praise God that He knew... and HE had great plans for them and HE was with them!

First off - I think it is important to take a moment and just release all the expectations we had for our children and place them at the feet of Jesus.  Whether they were good, or not so good -- they were expectations we had and  today is a new day.

So with that --

Lord, I come to you and lay down any expectations that were out of pride or selfishness, I lay down any expectations that disappointed me  or hurt my children and basically Lord, I am allowing the past to be the past.  Period.  IN Jesus' name ..Amen.  

And... I lay down any unmet expectations......   and Lord, with our present relationships and our present circumstances -- I lay down any unmet expectations that  I am still expecting in my child.  Lord, this child was a gift -- and I will continue to believe that You are the best parent and that YOU have my adult child .....  and I will believe that no matter what, as You know the desire of my heart -- that I will  stand in the gap for my child and pray without ceasing but I won't take 'them' back -- this child is Yours.  IN Jesus name...Amen.!   

And Lord, for those adult children that are reading this -- I pray they will release US as the parents and not hold us to expectations that we can't meet.  I pray that they would open up communication lines if need be with US parents -- that our situations would indeed honor and glorify your kingdom.  Lord, I pray that each of these children have repented of any pride and misgivings along the way - and that they too learn from us and may they place everything of their life into your hands and your perspective.  IN Jesus name - amen. 

Monday, May 1, 2017

HE rebuilt the house -- 7 years.

This is a link to the blog I posted last year around May 1st .
 You may wish to read it.

to Whom it may concern --

I read it again today and felt -- awesome blog!!   ( Awesome in the fact that God wins - not that I am this GREAT writer -- Holy Spirit is penning most of my thoughts on this blog!!)

 I have no idea of  WHOM I was upset with when I wrote that blog, or WHICH prayer request or response that inspired my indignation towards Satan,  but I am afraid that even if I don't remember who inspired that prayer, there is a still another couple that can  FIT into that description.  Unfortunately , the enemy is alive and well and doing all he can to destroy marriages,  those wives,  and even  those husbands that are trying to hold the marriage together.

 So this is my 2017 May 1st blog --

 Today is my parents wedding anniversary a day I never forget.   Not only is it their anniversary but if you recall, it was the day that President Obama got on TV and told us all about the  Special Seal Team Six  which had killed Bin Laden.   A few years ago, it was the FIRST PINK Impact at our church.   ( Its a Women's Conference ) And even five years ago I celebrated the first day of May in Chicago being at my first  and last IRA Convention !

Or maybe you remember another type of  May Day....  If you are of a certain age, you may  have put May Baskets filled  with flowers on door knobs.  Or maybe you danced around a May pole.....

Or maybe even still, you called out an SOS distress call and yelled, "may day -- may day -- I need help!"  I have a niece in the Coast Guard but when I hear those words, I think of Gilligan's Island - the popular after school TV show I grew up on.    However  or whatever you think of  on May 1st 2017--- is almost finished as I blog it will round midnight soon! 

Again Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, 52 years!!  THAT is a really big accomplishment  but today, I am screaming  and rejoicing at WHAT GOD won for me and it has nothing to do with my folks.

God wins!

  That is my  CATCH phrase.  Many blogs ago you can read the  WHY  behind it and where it came from but today marks seven years.  Seven years ago the enemy tried his best to kill me,  destroy a family, and steal my hope.   And... well - he did not succeed.  He not only tried to destroy me, but he tried his best to destroy several families on that day and take the casualties along with him.   But - he lost.  I won.   We won.   God won.

I believe that no matter what God uses--

....... it could be a phone call from the husband of the other woman,
......... it could  be an email that declares you were misunderstood and then fired,
.......it could be the news of an adult child who was arrested for a DWI,
.......it could just be a devastating disappointment that has set you into depression,
.....or it could just be the news that disease  was discovered and there needed to be surgery ASAP -- whatever God allows to get our attention -- we have two choices.   We can ACT and do something or we can allow it to happen to us.

Luke 17.4 reminds us to forgive - 7x 70....

God is ---He is constantly seeking us, drawing us close and God wants a relationship with us -  a relationship that we were born to have.   God created me to be used by Him -- period.  If you have read my blog- ever - you know the whole story and have formed some opinions but basically -- it took a phone call that opened my eyes to some sin.  It changed everything. People quickly blame one partner in the marriage but that phone call opened my eyes to much and God showed me where I too was deep in sin - idolatry.   My sin was sin -- there is no level or grades of sin.  Sin is sin.  Missing the mark! 

Seven.  Seven years ago.  Seven is God's perfect number.  A few weeks after we sold our home back in 2011, I heard from God and I heard, "he will rebuild the home".   God was referring to my husband. Now, God was also meaning - HIM...as with God, my husband would rebuild our home.  I heard it so clearly in my spirit and I knew that I knew - it was God speaking to me.   THAT phrase has sustained me and kept me focused many times when I wanted to quit! 

 May 1, 2010 - sucked.
Sorry -- that is not a nice word.

It was awful.   The rest of the month and early summer got even worse.  By October of 2010 there was a little hope but by February of 2011 it was awful again.  Our marriage -- our family was being torn apart.  OH wait - it already was pretty much broken but the attempts to try and fix it -- just made it worse.  By April of 2011 it was pretty much decided  that my husband and I would probably divorce.  But April became  May and all of a sudden June arrived and some circumstances changed.   ( I had  finally GOTTEN out of the way, but I wasn't really living with the promise yet.)  Anyway by  late September of 2011 we sold our home and began a journey of professional counsel again and we both gave an honest attempt to try and save our marriage.

I blogged about that first home -- you may want to read that sometime.  The link is here:
Our home -

I really don't want to hash up old stuff -- you  can read back on this blog and read different aspects of our counsel and healing - but the bottom line is that we did something different. And as you read, I have prayed and tried my best to show anyone that reads this -- there were two of us in this marriage, two of us that drifted from God.  Each doing their own thing -- but basically - we were  not in relationship with Our Lord.  Period. 

I have a dear pal that I love.  She has energy and the drive to self-motivate herself.  I admire her.  She has always motivated me to try many things.  She got me rollerblading back after HP was born.  She convinced  me walking 60 miles  was a way to  raise money for Breast Cancer research  and I went on to raise over 12K for that cause.  And she has kept me grounded often when I get a crazy idea or exaggerate as she is a numbers person and I tend to fudge numbers -- and each time she gently corrects me I love her more.   I have watched her,  or at least know that since  this past January, she has gotten up each day by 4:20am to do some 'core -d - force' and she pushes her body.  She exercises.  She pushes and sweats!   And then again, the next day - she does it again.   She then watches what goes into her mouth and basically DOES what we all want to do - sticks to a meal plan that is good for our bodies.   She has changed her appearance.   And guess what - Since January she has lost over 20 pounds and 24 inches.  You can see , she is a different person -physically.  She did it.  She got off her butt, out of bed and pushed herself.  I have known her for over 20 years and she does this often but as we age it gets harder to achieve.  But she had to DO something.    She changed it up.  Me...I have EVERY excuse under the sun as to why I did not have the results like she did. I have been motivated and have lost a bit, but I have more to go.  Each morning, she is a reminder to me to get off my butt!   But I digressed -- my point was - SHE takes action! 

I say  all that cause, both my husband and I will tell couples and share  when we are asked--  go and get some extra professional help.   TAKE Action!  People change.  But the bottom line is -- God can change people too -- and marriages now days end too quickly - people don't want to stand and fight or  change...  many will not get out of that  bed and do what is necessary. Many enjoy the pit they have found themselves in.  Or -- they just don't feel they can get past it -- but did they really try? 

So with that, from October 2011 - to the summer of 2012 -- a lot of hard work was done.  And it cost us.    CASH.  Allowing a good Christian Therapist to dissect your life and challenge you  and then pay her hourly fee was a bit of a hardship at times -- but it paid off.  However,   a key part of this  process were the prayer partners that prayed with us and for us as well and that stood in the gap when professional counsel was very hard and hurtful.   God changed us both.  In my reality, I truly say it took more faith for my husband to believe that God could change his heart.   It changed. I had never fell out of love with my high school sweetheart -- he was totally convinced we never should of married.  Like I said -- and he agrees, it took some wild faith and trust in God!  And PRAYER!

And in reality, now,  we can laugh about it.  As my daughter quotes her pal Alfred, "if you can't laugh at it - you are not over it".  We are over it.   It took about three years to get through the awkwardness to the healing, but God has redeemed our marriage and we have the marriage we were created  to have.   2014 - 2015 and 2016 have all been wonderful healing years where God restored and regifted  us  with memories that covered over the cruddy ones!

 I could talk for hours - just the most stupid of stupid memories that may pop up and Satan says, "I got you Michelle - remember when...."....and yet, God has a plan and the BEST revenge or event  happens through God and God covers the crud and gives us a new memory to go forward with!!

As I said, once we moved into our first rental, I know God spoke to me in my Spirit -- "he will rebuild the house".  I have blogged this before and I have had the greatest privilege to watch my husband humbly rebuild relationships with each of our children,   seek forgiveness from  those around him,  and each of my siblings and family besides a few others.  I have watched a man change - from avoiding God's Word to craving it.  I have watched him find each rental we moved into ( 4 of them) and he has been working his tail off for the past two months getting me - getting us a home.  And besides, he negotiated the sale of this present home. God used my husband and He made a way.  Brendan even surrendered when it came to furniture shopping -- we made joint choices but in reality it was what I wanted.     I  ( we) made my first mortgage payment today for the house that 'he rebuilt' with God.  It is not ironic??   On the day that Satan tried to destroy the home -- God has provided us with a new home and new furnishings and I get to actually PAY for it with the provision He has given us - our jobs.

I have no idea WHAT your circumstance may be or if you read my blogs on a routine basis, but I just want to encourage you -- whatever God is allowing within your life -- He will guide you and bring beauty out of the ashes -- if you will let Him and if you will do the work!!

I have seen a man who walked away from God and justified each and every action he did become  a man who now seeks God for every decision and craves to spend time with Him.  I have seen something hopelessly dead - come back to life.  It was not easy --it took TIME,  but it was WORTH it.

When two people truly SEEK God and allow Him to lead and change them -- I know redemption can happen.   In our journey -- I have met several couples.  Quiet couples -- that have come back from the brink of death and experienced very similar circumstances like us -- they did not post it on FB -- but they survived -- and are happier now.  There are many blogs on the internet that speak of God's grace and His healing power.  There is also a lot of other stuff out there -- using the standard, "it just did not work for us".....but even in those circumstances, forgiveness has to happen and God's healing must occur or the same mistakes will be repeated.

 I also know several couples that just 'fell out of love' and regret that they did not seek GOD and counsel to amend  hearts that were just tired.   Satan convinced them.   Satan is a liar - and he hates marriage and loves to do anything to steal, kill, and destroy. And I have seen some couples that were unequally yoked from the beginning and some make it and some destroy each other -- but then again, I thank God that I don't have to answer for them.   And please -- don't take any condemnation from this blog.  If the enemy is telling you that you messed up and blew it -- there is time to tell that enemy to shut up and seek God.  Make peace.  Beauty comes from ashes.  I knew there are couples, wives, that have prayed, fasted, and still -- their marriage did not survive - but God will lead and pull you out of that pit and there CAN be happiness in your circumstances.  Seek God.   I am just going to say this -- God can win.

Contact me if you want to give up and we can start to pray --  maybe it is you that wants out, not your husband  --- but if God is the one you seek for guidance and direction -- I know what He is speaking to you.  He wants you to fight and not give up hope ....... God wants ALL of you.  Maybe you feel it is all your husband's doing and his fault -- speak with me and let me share with you my sin .....

Deut. 28: 13-14 says that God will not allow the enemy to keep me at the bottom! 

I will end with a few pictures of our new home -- that he rebuilt....   by the way, it was Brendan's idea to frame in the windows.  My brother did it.  I believe it is the perfect accent for my little red cottage -- !!   I had to add that in there -- as he is pretty proud of himself -- my hubby that is! 

Praise God!
PS. My Brother cut in the stairs - now to get it screened in..!
And want to know something else funny ??   Our address # is  4334.     4+3+3+4...that is two sevens.  To me - a double portion.  There were 7 yucky years but God has given us back another 7 - and doubled it.  God's perfect laugh back at Satan -- LOL!

 I laugh too!   I can't wait to see WHAT God will do in the next season --we have nicknamed this our Red Cottage --  the redemption house.   Yes, we still own property and we may build in 2-3 years that DREAM home that we have plans for - but we will let God lead.  He may just call His bride home  sooner than later and that DREAM home  will be in heaven! 

Brendan and I want to use our home to help couples and fellowship  and be those prayer warriors standing in the gap and we pray they will want to get up at 4:30 in the am and FIGHT and do the HARD work - as we know -- it is worth it.  God wins!

- I am humbled and in awe of God --


Love covers a multitude of sins - 1 Peter 4.7

I love this man -- we are growing OLD together!  30 years this August!