My friend Trace, began her chemo this week. A few days ago in fact, how do I know that? She told me. I texted her. I heard her say she was doing good. The doctors have not given her much hope. This is her 2nd battle with a type of breast cancer. I have been praying that the chemo shrinks the cancer and it then disappears and defies the doctor's opinions. Why would I believe or pray that way? Cause I trust God.
My husband and I went to see a family at a hospital today, a family that we have been praying for for several days now and we prayed over their son in Critical Care. He is not doing well, and there is a good chance he could spend Easter with Our Heavenly Father, but we are believing in a miracle! How do I know that, or believe in that miracle?....Trust...in HIM.
Trusting is a HARD thing. When it comes to the 'bottom' of it, people will say they trust in this or that, but to me it takes a WHOLE lot more faith to trust in a person than it is to trust in GOD.
People fail us. God does not fail us. But what happens when....HE does not heal or he does allow the heartache to last.....ah, yes, THAT is when we must TRUST - right?
Or Rely on HIM?
I found this: The thing is to rely only on God. The time will come when you will regard all this misery as a small price to pay for having been brought to that dependance. Meanwhile, the trouble is that relying on God has to begin all over again EVERY day as if nothing has yet been done. - CS Lewis.
Pretty profound hugh?
God's timing is perfect and it is no accident that I have called out to HIM and begged for healing for two special people this week. Now we must trust that GOD will do HIS best work.
Trust hangs somewhere between knowing what your heart longs for and trying to dictate the shape or timing or outcome of your heart's desire.There are loads of things that lead us to TRUST God...
It lies in the willingness to accept the particulars of how and when and where God chooses to intervene. It waits in the cool shade of surrender. - Paula Reinhart
....like knowing your marriage may end
.....like taking a phone call from your sister and hearing the words, 'we have lost Blake'...
....like seeing your parents hurt each other with words and realize the hurt has gotten so deep...
....like moving across the country for a job
.... like jumping feet first into a new challenge when you are scare to DEATH!
....like sitting at the foot of a bed and watch a child struggle to breathe
...like seeking a new job when you know it will be a challenge
.....like getting a phone call that totally shakes your life
.....like finding a lump and sitting under a PET scan and wondering if the cancer is back
.....like moving back home when a family is broken
.....like hearing the words, 'I don't love you'...
....like coming home and being scare of what you will find...
....like believing your were never loved...
....like hearing of another's heartache and it brings you to action but ...what could you do?
....like thinking that you are unloved..
....like believing that a hurt from childhood could harm your entire present reality
....like being tossed back and forth by the winds of change...
...like....being so hurt as a child, that you have cut off anyone that could hurt you as an adult, but that makes you isolated...
Some of these experiences are mine...others are people I know...and others are just experiences...that is not the point - the point is what has caused YOU to trust God?
Paula Reinhart says that the root of trust comes from being grounded in the fact and knowledge that you are LOVED by God. That no matter what, as long as I am loved by God..HE will lead me to the light in this cruel world. Do I know that - that I am SO loved? HIS word says I was so loved before the foundation of the world.
Learning to trust my husband again has been hard, but I trust him through my Lord.
Learning to trust God, has been something I have been working on for YEARS!
Learning to trust God when it comes to our immediate friends and family and with their healing....
Paula says, "if we let ourselves be loved by God, our hands release their grips on the reins of our lives and we stop trying so hard to be the one with all the answers".
God has the answers. I don't.
Will Trace's cancer be shrunk to its disappearance?
Will Chris sit in church again - soon?
Will I ever get this figured out?
I am believing and trusting and praying that God is going to heal them both!
Paula says this too:
God is always good. If life is like a deck of cards, then God is always the wild card. He is not subject to our human efforts to influence outcomes, we are subject to HIS. His story is the great story being told- and none of us know exactly how our own story will read - only that it will end well! This is why we trust, in the important matters, always feels like a risk and why it entails courage.
God does not have to explain Himself to us, we worship a God who is mysterious - too mysterious to fit into our formulas. It means God is not our best friend, our secret lover, or our alter ego...HE is our God. It evens means that it is just as frightening as it is delightful to stand in HIs presence. Our creaturely relationship with God is one in which we are, at the same time, both irresistibly drawn to HIm and humbled by the grandeur of his holiness.
I know this, heartache is NOT God's discipline for us. That is NOT the heart of God! Sometimes it is easier for people to blame others or themselves.
But accepting the mystery of what we cannot know will lead us to the heart of God - where we trade our craving for explanation for a simple willingness to trust God.
There is a peace within Chris' parents that you can hear when you speak to them.
There is a peace within Trace's texts that you can read....as they are trusting God and they have that peace.
God is so good. HIS word says, 'surely goodness and kindness shall follow him all the days of his life'...for those who put their TRUST in HIM.
Today is EAster, many will put their trust in stuff. Some will trust that Publix will still be open, and find it is closed today! Some... will trust and believe there is no 'hell' -- our God could never do that for His people. Some will think or trust they can 'get it right with God later, after their are married, after they finish college, or next week'.....
There are people that will trust their car will work tomorrow so they can make it to church the one day of the year they feel guilty...
Is this your TRUST? Or is Your TRUST in HIM?
I have felt the burden to pray this week for many within my circle that 'think' they are headed to heaven and they 'think' they know the Lord...but they really don't TRUST HIM.
They don't rely on HIM.
THey have not fallen in love with HIM.
When you fall in love with someone...YOU want to be with them, YOU want to read what they wrote, YOU want to tell others...YOU WANT that and you begin to build that relationship and eventually you TRUST them. It is the same with God.
Ok, enough said -
LOrd, there have been 4 blog posts that YOU wrote within my head this week - this is the one that came out. Lord, you know my heart and my desire is to WRITE in such a way that it will touch YOUR Kingdom and help save a lost one. Lord, tomorrow is EAster, the past two year's this holiday has had more meaning and burden. Lord, for the family and friends that really don't know you - Oh God, draw them near today! Lord, again for Trace and Christopher - we are believing for a healing. Oh Lord, for my own family, protect and guide us. Lord, for church ...later today - may the church family step up and love on the ones guilted into coming to the service today...oh God that they may WANT you. And Lord, thank you - for ALL. Amen.