Tuesday, November 29, 2016

What will you do? He told her he no longer loved her --

 I have to admit, when I hear those words, I immediately can allow my thoughts to go backwards as I heard those words before, but I make a conscience decision to remind myself what God tells me.

God tells me I am the head and not the tail.
God tells me that He died for me.
God tells me that He sent His only Son so that I might live.
God tells me the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. 
God tells me I am His esteemed daughter.
God tells me I am deeply loved.
God tells me that HE will hold my right hand and guide me!  

God tells me so much more -- but I need to state something.

Today a precious woman that loves God sought me out for some counsel.  I admit, I wish I had a PHD in psychology  or some counseling  degree posted on my wall, but I don't.  I have some life experiences that have molded and shaped me and I do know some scripture that tells me  - God wins!!   However, even  as I pray and seek God, I too ask myself at times, "Lord, how can I help her?"  

I found a blog that I re-posted - it reminded me that indeed, God will redeem every tear and every injustice if we will GIVE God the time to do so.  

I found these two scriptures: 

"He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"
 Phil 1.6

 " I waiting patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry." Psm. 40.1

So, what can I tell her?  

Sweetie, dear beloved -- Your heavenly Father loves you and has allowed this season within your life and within your marriage to get your attention.  His heart hurts too that your husband is NOT being the head of the household as He intended, but indeed God can help you and be RIGHT with you as you walk out this season and believe that indeed  - God can change hearts!   
Dear sweetie, beloved --  I know what it feels like to hear your husband tell you ALL that you  have done wrong.  I know how it feels to hear all the 'bad' and think -- you will never see any good!  I know what it feels like to see and look at a situation that seems hopeless - but I want to encourage you -- God can win!  

Dear Sweetie, beloved -- when a husband says that he does not love you  anymore it can be for many reasons.  Yes, it can be because he has decided to love another.  Yes, it can be because he is deep in some sort of sexual sin.  And yes, it can be just because he is tired.   It is hard to exactly pin point exactly the WHAT or the WHY -- but all you can do is accept the words but, I pray you won't allow them to penetrate your soul.

Let me explain, when a person is not seeking Jesus, asking Jesus to fill  up their heart and soul, and calling upon Jesus for guidance and direction -- then WHOM are they listening too?  

I believe they are choosing to listen to the enemy.  When a husband wants out of a marriage or  whatever -- I do believe that it is not because of "you" -- but because of WHOM they are listening too.  They are deceived. 

The enemy. 
The Evil one as my nephew says.  
Because if a man was seeking God and he was upset or there was really something that was deeply troubling to him, he would pray and seek you as his wife to help SOLVE the problem.  He would also ask you to seek counsel with him and he would want to make sure that above all things -- He was pleasing God first and then his wife and family.  

However -- many marriages don't 'run' like this.  Sometimes it takes a MAJOR breakdown or problem for each to see there is something wrong and maybe it is BOTH that need a good God fixing.  But -- that can be sorted out later -- my point is this -- 

YOU my dear beloved and precious friend -- can only DEAL with you and your thoughts and feelings and you can only CHANGE yourself.   So, with God on your side and by taking a good God look into the marriage and relationship -- I do believe there is HOPE and there can be a good outcome.   I call these 360's or full circle.  As I believe that God, who began a GOOD work in you -- won't stop until it is in completion.   However...we must align ourselves with HIM and submit our lives totally to HIM first.  

And, I know also that God can work through divorce and remarriage.  God can also work through a donkey -- just read the story in the bible.  God is creative and wants His best for his children, but so often the choices we have made bring forth consequences that indeed can hurt us and hinder us, but I must believe that through it all -- Good can be achieved and God's design is the ultimate perfect plan -- so we must do our best to get back into that plan.  

So...  my sweet precious daughter of the MOST High God -- make a list this evening of what you may need to repent for and seek forgiveness of or for.   Make a list of those 'bad' things and begin to ask God to help you change WHAT you can and then change what or how the rest are perceived by your husband.  

If your husband loves Jesus -- well, let's be honest -- if he really loves Jesus he is seeking you for prayer as well, but if your husband is seeking his own gods..then begin to make a list of what you can pray over him.   Your prayers over him are powerful.   Begin to show and extend grace and mercy to your husband and allow the Lord to begin to soften his heart.  

If you are in ANY danger, please seek help or call 911 -- there is no need to feel unsafe in your own home.  Get 2-3 women to be prayer warriors with you and pray about asking 1-2 women to hold you accountable for your own daily walk with God.  And begin each day -- praising God for this season.  

As this season, can change you -- for the better!  You can become bitter or better -- I myself was a bit angry and bitter for a good 1-2  months but then decided that I was going to be better.    It was a LONG haul and a process -- but God walked me through each moment and each step.  When I wanted to quit and give up on my marriage or my husband, God sent a prayer warrior or some sort of living angel to encourage me and remind me that indeed God can win!  

I also sought help - counsel from a godly woman and I sought the internet and read a few Christian Blogs that encouraged me and gave me hope.  I also sought some references like Crosswalk. Com and Focus on the Family.  There are MANY resources out there -- there is HOPE.  

Lord, I pray this helped that one -- or maybe even helped another to realize that, indeed her heart may be hurting this evening -- but YOU are right there and YOU will hold her right hand.  

Lord, I pray she will DIG around on this blog and go back 3-4 years and read some of these blogs that I wrote as we were in the healing process.  Perhaps my blog will be that encouragement to her.   I don't know Lord,  but YOU do.   You know I can only handle so much -- but You have given me this insight and this blog so I will share and pray!   

Lord, specifically for the precious woman I hugged at church on Sunday -- may she know and feel YOU around her  this eve -- In Jesus name, amen.  

I waited patiently .....

  ** I wrote this blog back in June of 2013.
 Granted, that is almost 3  and 1/2 years ago, but tonight, there is a young woman that needs to read this and be encouraged -- if she will wait ON  God and if she will allow GOD to change her and remake her, then I know that I know - God will give her a 360 and she in a few months or maybe even a few years, can look back to this moment and know that she too will be able to WRITE about HOW cool a particular date was.  

But first -- she has to decide to  do it God's way.  1.  She has to totally be committed to wait on God.   2.  She has to be willing to make sure her own heart is right before God.  And then, 3.  she has to begin to pray and FIGHT for her marriage and her family.   I believe she will make the BEST choice!  

 It is almost 3am and I can't sleep.  You see today is June 20th, 2013.

Do you know what I was doing on June 20th 2010?....(3 years ago)  I was preparing to drive to Louisiana to watch Hunter play with his SFE Club Team  in the Regional Soccer Cup.  WE were so excited that he and his team qualified as they won the REGION III League.   However, that year my hubby and I were separated and the kids and I  had planned on heading to Louisiana by ourselves but I knew Brendan wanted to come.  He eventually asked me if I was 'ok' with him coming.  I knew it was important for Hunter to have his dad there,  and I wanted help in the driving department, even though feelings and relationships were very strained.  It was a week of soccer and family time, but it was very hard and hellish at times ....for me...now I can look back on it and put it behind me - but it was a hard week.   And the kids and I laugh now, as they admit it was 'hellish' for them as well.  Or 'awkward' is what they said!!  Very.

However, THIS is how awesome our God is - HE is so sweet.  Brendan and I will be getting into a car in a few hours and we will be driving to the Regional Soccer Cup in Oklahoma - to watch Hunter and his Team Boca.  You see this year, his team qualified because they are the Florida State Cup champs!  And....three years later, my God is giving me a DO -over...A chance to make more memories and put them ON top of the yuck that occurred 3 years ago.

 Don't get me wrong - there were plenty of FUN memories.  For example, Hunter, Taylor and me all sharing one KING sized bed and Brendan having to sleep on the floor.  We do laugh about that now.  We ate well and we all laughed at the 'northern' kids that were not used to the sweltering HEAT in Louisiana that year, which WE were very used too! Anyway, I also laughed about going each day to the Laundromat and washing the uniforms of two other boys and reading everything under the sun before I would head back to the hotel.  I actually enjoyed that quiet time - it was just TOO awkward in our hotel room!  And we loved each day as the boys won and won until the final and then - the boys  lost and those boys that were so happy  each day - were in tears.  And truth be told,  I was glad to get out of that  blistering HEAT and head north!

From there, we left Louisiana, dropped Brendan off at the airport to fly back to Florida, and drove to Wisconsin and made more memories after that.  It was just the kids and I and we did have a good visit in Wisconsin and were loved on extra by siblings and cousins!

Anyway, tonight as I was picking up a few things, I came across my journal from that summer and read over and over letters to God and prayers I wrote to God and relived the rawness of that month and of that trip and I just praised God- as we are getting a DO -over and we are BOTH excited about it.  As I call them, God is giving me a 360 -- but HE is also giving Brendan a 360 too -- he wants new memories to put over the pain he caused.  Just him  ( Brendan ) revealing that -- saying that -- brings ME more healing.  Thank you Lord!

I also came across these two verses that I would write over and over in my journal -- "He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"  Phil 1.6

And.... " I waiting patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry.". Psm. 40.1

Over and over again - I read HIS mercy towards me and I read my hurt all over again - but I could SEE God all over my journal and within our midsts!

And even though I did not SEE what was going on - now in hindsight, God was working on me and changing me but HE was also working on changing Brendan and the kids too ...and that verse is how I would remind myself, that my husband was a good man that got deceived and sidetracked by the enemy, as God HAD begun a good work in him...and I believed that it was God's will to restore!

And wait - June 20th gets even better -- as, on June 20th, 2011 -- was another  pivotal day -- it was  the day, two years ago  that Brendan made the commitment to me that we would really try to make our marriage work and we would sell the house and start fresh....I remember that day like it was yesterday as MUCH transpired that day.  It was the Monday after Father's Day weekend and the Monday after Lauren Burk's wedding weekend.  .....what can I say - it is etched in my brain!

As that day ( and I blogged about it...it is called...Family..this one particular day - it was posted in July of 2011 )  brought closure to a part of our lives and new beginnings to another.   But it was the day that Brendan decided that maybe, just maybe, he could begin to trust God again and step out in faith. It really was the miracle I had been praying for  - for years!

That is why the verse about waiting patiently really HIT me this eve as I read that journal.

I waited patiently ...but not really...I just existed most days, and cried lots and prayed a lot but each night, I would fall asleep expectantly that maybe TOMORROW our situation would change and I wold wake and realize it did not....so I waiting until the next day.

Now in hindsight - HOW did I wait patiently?

 ....praying, believing, seeking counsel, and then focusing on being a servant of God and doing something ELSE to take up the time...
...............and then I would start all over again.

It was HARD!
But it was WORTh it!!   Worth it!

'Cause later this morning ....

  • I am going to hop in my car with my man and we are going to travel the 1352 miles to Oklahoma, and see scenery we have never seen.
  • We will stop for breakfast and share pancakes at McDonald's.
  • We will read, listen to some CD's from church, and re listen to a few of our favorite messages from a few good preachers.
  • We will check Facebook and text message TP and HP and make sure that Hunter got to Oklahoma in style...on the plane!!
  • We will call family, and Brendan will call the Ins. office at least 4x tomorrow!
  • We will stop for lunch at Panara or be crazy and find a little DIVE somewhere.
  • We will also find a hotel to sleep in and WATCh the Miami HEAT win...the finals!

But mostly ...I will just smile, and be reminded of HOW much God loves happy endings, and HOW HE is going to get the glory in this.  And HOW..blessed and how humbled I am.

So, don't give up...write prayers out and date them, and I know that if you stand on the promises of God - HE won't fail you and HE will give you as many 360's as you need to make NEW memories on top of the old yuck...cause THAT is how sweet our God really is - HE loves us THAT much.

Now...can I fall asleep for the next two hours or shall I just blog on another topic?

HIS daughter...

PS - Today -- 2016.........

Hunter's team DID win Regionals and we headed back to Kansas City, Missouri exactly two weeks after this particular trip to Oklahoma.    Hunter flew again and we DROVE - again!
Today -- Brendan and I STILL talk about the memories we made.   We laugh and remember visiting the Life Church where we stalked Craig Groshel.  We both laugh about going to "What a Burger" and visiting some sweet friends  ( the Wherrell's) and eating at the Oklahoma Steak House and walking in the Stockades.   Memories -- sweet memories. 

However, we also stop and THANK GOD for this time and HOW He did bring beauty out of ashes and How God gave us back LOTS that the locusts had stolen!  

Monday, November 28, 2016

Just BIG prayers this eve -- did you think God forgot you?

I have wanted to blog some really big insights and truths that God has revealed to me in the past few weeks -- but that did not happen. 

I went to sit before this computer screen a few times this past week, to again, type out some big words of wisdom -- but that did not happen. 

What did happen? 

   Rest.   Thinking.  Journaling.   Visiting.   Rest.  Hallmark Christmas Movies.  Rest.  Reading.  Thinking.  Dreaming.   Rest.   Vege-in.  Praying.   Speaking.    Thinking.   

Recently I had the awesome privileged to be a part of a Women's Encounter again -- God moved.  God won.  God did an amazing job at everything!!      I almost have to be careful as I  can experience such a Jesus high for three days that I can actually SLUMP into a depression if I allow my thoughts to take over!!  

Recently I enjoyed my adult children and a most precious grand-daughter and text messaging with family!   ( Some Face timing too.)     And then there was Thanksgiving......

          Jesus.   Some days He seems so real and present RIGHT in front of me and other days I have too look  a bit harder and yet, HE has never left!    

So tonight - just going to share a prayer that I love and recite often out of Ephesians.  My Pastor reminded us all of this prayer this past Sunday -- from Ephesians Chapter One:

For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, 16 I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. 17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

 So, here is my prayer -- for my children --  my own daughter, son n love, and son ---
For the one that recently took her husband back in --
For the one who is fighting for her marriage after an affair was revealed -- 
For the one who continues to believe that her husband will repent and fight for her --
For the one who is busy at school, learning, and just plugging away -- 
For the one who is  in pain due to an accident and working to heal --
For the one who has a new grandbaby that wants the best for her son --
For the one who is struggling to remember that God has NOT forgotten her -- 
 For the wife who is believing her husband will change -- 
For the one who is tired of fighting --
For the one who is just tired and wants something new --
For the one who will visit her estranged husband soon and believes that God will indeed instruct her in the perfect outcome --
For the one who opened up her life and rededicated herself this past weekend -- 

For ......

    For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, 16 I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. 17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.  

 Lord, that EACH of them in their OWN minds and thoughts -- that they would SEEK you to know YOU better!
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. 
 19 Lord, each of these people --  EACH of them need you BIG time - strengthen them!
That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

Lord, that each of these prayer requests pertaining to a person or a group of women, that  they would see and believe that YOU are fighting for them as you placed those stars in the heavens, You have not forgotten any of them but that in EACH case, as EACH seeks to find your guidance and live in Your grace that EACH would see the goodness in this land of the living.    22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

And Lord, for my own prayers -- I want a house.  Just saying -- I am tired of this cottage life but I will wait on YOU to provide the best spot, either we buy or build and in YOUR timing, I will wait.  
   In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Happy birthday Marilyn!!!

Marilyn - or Mom as I call her -- is 77 days young today.    Today is her  birthday!
 She is at home..."puttzing" as we mid-west women LOVE to do from time to time - just being at home and getting much done.

However, I must take this chance to share with you a little personal thank you card and birthday wish as well...... 

So here I go -

77 reasons why I am SO thankful for Marilyn, my mother - n - law whom I call MOM.......

1.  Thank you for all of your prayers -- all the time.  I know you pray not only for Brendan and I but for our kids and all of the grands as well. 

2.  Thank you for your continued service to our church as an elder and mentor to the women!  

3.  Thank you for praying on your knees for the women that come to you within your circle and within our church.  You are indeed a mentor and a friend to them.

4.  Thank you for inviting me to your Thursday luncheons where I feel so special and the center of attention.

5.  Thank you for all of the desserts you made over the years at the drop of a hat to help with something -- especially Taylor's Wedding Celebration!!  

6.  Thank you for your point on point realism.... and how you speak LOVE and truth to others.

7.  Thank you for extending grace to me when I needed a good smack for my comments.

8.  Thank you for being a big part of the beginning of the Insurance office and helping to put into place procedures and policies that we still use today!  

9.  Thank you for treating EACH of your grandchildren like you are the ONLY one you have.

10.  Thank you for making the "ONE" grandson feel so special and loved and cared for.

11.  Thank you for being the BEST great-grand mom to your great grandchildren and loving them so individually and unconditionally.  

12.  Thank you for taking on Blake, Blaker, as your grandson as well and how he loved you and you showered him as your own.

12.  Thank you for always having an anniversary card ready for us and a birthday card with cash for us when we so often forget yours and tell you each birthday ...."your present is coming".

13.  Thank you for always sending the thank you cards and helping me to teach my kids to be grateful! 

14.  Thank you for listening to me - when I have to vent or rant and always reminding me of whom to pray for.

15.  Thank you for being the one that can talk 'smack' to my husband and he listens to you!   (  As, you are doing it in love! )

16. Thank you for being that prayer warrior with me EVERY morning during a very hard season in our marriage and YOU were fighting for us and for me through prayers.

17.  Thank you for NOW being that prayer warrior that I can call and ask you to intercede
on behalf of  myself for prayer or for another....as I know your prayers are heard! 

18.  Thank you for making me feel like a daughter instead of an in law or an out law.

19.  Thank you  for speaking truth to your son when it was VERY hard, and trusting my decision to fight for our marriage.

20.  And thank you for disciplining him as a child..... as those seeds you sowed .... and watered... came into fruition.

21.   I will say thank you on behalf of Quenten's wife as well.... as I know she appreciates how you   extend love and prayers for him and their family!       ( And you share his birthday!! )

22.  I will say thank  you on behalf of Becky's husband as well....as I  know you extend love and prayers for her and her family...... ( what am I kidding?? - I know you do this for ALL of your children!)

23.  I will say thank you for extending prayers and being on your knees for my own family in Wisconsin and how you have loved on them from afar....

24.  Thank you for stopping in to pray over Diandra a few weeks ago and taking the time to visit her and my mom....and extending that love as family does.....

25.  Thank you for telling me in a very very sweet moment that you were so sorry for what had happened within our marriage -- your tears and your heartfelt compassion for me - gave me strength to know....to fight!

26.  Thinking back...to 1984 when Brendan had broken up with me - and that fateful night when I cried off my mascara in your hands and your stated to me that "if Brendan was God's best for you,  it would work out, but if God had better plans"   Well,  she  stated knew a better boy would be there for me in God's timing.  

27.  Thank you for not asking questions when you caught me coming down from upstairs that time when we were teens, probably in 1983,  I am pretty sure I would of died right there......LOL.     ( We repented -- we were stupid kids! LOL) 

28.  Thank you for answering the call  from Brendan first and  then from the Vice-Principal  back in 1984 when Brendan  and I had skipped out and they called your work to double check a note that I had forged....   LOL    We were covered by you!

29.  Thank you for the NUMEROUS times you probably wanted to pull Brendan by the ear and give him an earful and instead you prayed.....  wow!

30.  Thank you for the NUMEROUS times you shared with us about praying instead of complaining.

31.  Thank you for the NUMEROUS times you prayed with us!! 

32.  Thank you for teaching me how to make several of your favorite recipes.

33.  Thank you for teaching me how to antique.

34.  Thank you for showing me and giving interest to me when I wanted to decorate and began to see how to make a house a home.

35.  Thank you for reminding me that soap operas were something I should not spend extra time watching.

36.  Thank you for speaking truth to me about church and WHY we go to church ..... that is was about WHAT I should be seeking from God while the preacher preached -- not looking to see what the preacher would do for me!

37.  Thank you for speaking truth to me and reminding me of WHY we pray!!

38.  Thank you for speaking truth to me when I wanted to QUIT something.  

39.  Thank you for all the clothes I get blessed with here and there cause you find them and think I need them.

40.  Thank you for going to consignment shopes and finding my children just what they need.

41.  Thank you for blessing Taylor with the stuff needed ....for her kitchen, for her heart, and for her jewelry box.

42.  Thank you for unconditionally loving Jake as your new grandson!

43.  Thank you for loving unconditionally loving Ava as a new great grand child   and praying for her!

44.  Thank you for buying those salt and pepper shakers for HP when his kitchen was empty-- and ALL the other stuff you showered him with!  

45.  Thank you for always having a smile on your face and reminding us - reminding me to love unconditionally.

46.  Thank you for setting an example of 'holding you tongue' when it comes to your husband  -- and displaying the better way to get to a man's heart.

47.  Thank you for teaching and showing us a TRUE example of 'hospitality' to others and grace!! 

48.  Thank you for praying for  us both ( Bren and me)  to we could begin to see how  to trust God.

49.  Thank you for driving both Brendan and I to that fateful tennis match in Milwaukee that cold cold bitter night back in 1982 and sat at a coffee shope for 2 hours  while we enjoyed our Celebrity Tennis Match date cause you and Dad felt the two 17teen year -olds should not be driving in bad weather!

50.  Thank you for extending the invite and taking me to Missouri to meet family that year in 1983 -- what a trip!

51.    Thank you for letting me stay with you that summer before we got married when I needed a refuge from my home.

52.  Thank you for mailing ALL of Brendan's letters that summer he spent in Florida and I was working.... 1983 I believe!

53.  Thank you for SAVING all of my letters I wrote to him-- which brought me such comfort when I felt our marriage was over!

54.  Thank you for SAVING all the silly NOTES that I left on his car while he worked at McDonald's and I worked at Ponderosa back in 1981/1982....... I cherish each one!  

55.    Thank you for always being there to say YES whenever I need a casserole, breakfast dish,  or something for a dinner or meeting.

56.  Thank you for always being at each tupperware or Pampered Chef party I tried to do and bought stuff to help me earn whatever!

57.  Thank you for ordering from EVERY Central Elementary fund raiser or Church fundraiser for the kids.

58.  Thank you for each Student of the Week Luncheon you attended and EVERY volleyball and soccer game you came to!  

59.  Thank you for loving on  my husband those 20+ years before he came to me my husband and teaching him about love.

60.   Thank you for raising a man that extends love like Jesus does and is obedient to God's word and tithing.

61.  Thank you for teaching and raising a man who values loyalty.

62.  Thank you for teaching and raising a man who is tenderhearted and responsive when He hears God speak.

63.  Thank you for loving him  - my man-- even when you hated his actions.

64.  Thank you for sharing your heart to me and allowing me to pray for you when you are struggling.

65.  Thank you for just being a friend, a dear one, that I can rely on and love to hang with.

66.  Thank you for appeasing me and watching the AWFUL movie.."Bridges of Madison County".  Little did  I know at that time how I was so misguided and felt 'this' movie was just perfect.  When I think about how I made you sit in that theater and watch it with me and you did...cause you were just showing me love.   .....But later you had the chance to really teach me about what and where LOVE comes from....    At that time...little did we both know what would unfold over the next 5-6 years...but God did.

67.  Thank you for always cooking the Turkey!

68.  Thank you for always providing such glorious memories and such such for our kids at IH.

69.  Thank you for each sunburn you got while playing with my kids at that pool!

70.  Thank you for the summer trips to Wisconsin and the games we played around Grandma's dining room table.

71.  Thank you for the summer we lived with you before we started teaching.

72.  Thank you for the finances you always provided when we were very poor.

73.  Thank you for the sweet little gifts here and there just for me.  And the many mornings when I was at your house to just watch the Macy's Parade....with hot chocolate!! 

74.  Thank you for the many Ann's Tea House meals where we were treated like royalty.

75.  Thank you for being that Proverbs 31 example.

76.  Thank you for being you....

And 77. I thank God that we get to spend another Thanksgiving Day with   you -- and I know I will help peel some potatoes but you will do most of the work -- and I am thankful for that.  I pray we have several more!

Lord, protect her -- guide her -- bless her -- and may many more just express on this link - what she means to them! 
Lord, I believe in the living and letting another know  now before they join you -- (not that MOM is checking out any time soon -- we thank you for her good health  -- but I realize that with each year, she is getting closer to being with you, rather than staying with us)  

Lord, again -- just be everything for her and to her...and bless her socks off today as You have so graciously  given me a mother in law that has been a mother in love for many years. I cherish her prayers as much as I cherish my own mother's .....   there is a love there that supersedes 'blood' with her and that is unconditional and I am most thankful.

Happy Birthday Marilyn!   
Looking at you and watching your life over the past....45 years that I have know you -- God won! 

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

"He wants a divorce...."

  Have you heard this recently?  " I want a divorce".     

Heartbreaking.  Satan will not stop, he is so very stupid and thinks that he can truly win -- but he can't.  

Recently a sweet friend heard these words.  
Recently another sweet young mother heard the words, "I am done."
Recently another felt that her marriage would not turn around -- as she has been waiting on God to open the eyes of her husband for almost a year now. 
Recently another wife cried herself to sleep -----   

Dear Beloved,

I see you there -- under attack.  You can't believe this has happened and you can't believe the role and part that you played in this.  You believe there is nothing you can do at this moment to fix it, nor do you believe you have the strength to fix it.  Fear.  The enemy wants to keep you in fear of your own actions and of the consequences you believe will follow.  However -- there is hope....  Your mighty God is right there - next to you --I promise.  I want you to picture yourself, looking around -- and --

 after I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "Don't be afraid of them.  Remember the LORD, who is great and awesome, and then FIGHT for your families, your sons, your daughters, your wives ( husbands ) , and for your home.".  Nehemiah 4.14
I see you there -- believing there is no way you can stand up in this season.  You have been hit hard with something that seems will destroy you and you feel you are under qualified to take on this task. You are not good enough. You sinned for far to long and you now deserve this consequence.  You are believing the lies of the enemy that God does not want you as happy as you could of been.  You are believing the lies that "this is my life now"...... No...No... God can and will bring beauty out of these ashes.  There is hope ..... Your mighty God is right there - next to you-- I promise.  I want you to get alone with God and memorize His words ---
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you -- 1 Peter 5.7
However, the LORD, your God would not listen to Balaam ( the enemy) but turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the LORD Your God loves you!   Deut. 23.5 
I see you there -- by yourself thinking about mean things.  You can't believe that 'this' is your fate.  You did not see it coming and yet, you did and feel like you did nothing to stop it.  This is a mean world we live in and Satan had you -- hook, line, and sinker...until something reminded you of Your eternal home and you ran.... to save your life.  You are now in the light.  The sin is exposed and so therefore -- there is NO condemnation in Christ Jesus.  However, you have to live and walk in this mean world and it seems to overcome you and bog you down.  But I promise - there is hope.    There will be a silver lining and what you think will happen -- is only the beginning.  Your God will bring beauty and one day you will look back to this time, and smile as you will clearly see His goodness in the land of the living.  And you will sit with another and hand her this letter and remind her -- that --
This charge  I entrust you to you beloved, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience, by rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith.   1 Timothy 1. 18-19.  ( So don't lose faith.) 

I see you there -- by yourself feeling like the shadow of her will overtake you.  I see you there, feeling the shadow of him will overtake you.  I see you there - feeling the shadow of it will overtake you -- how can you walk now in this shadow?  I will tell you- you are not in a shadow.  That is the enemy's way of keeping you in this bondage and guilt.  It is time to forgive - forgive yourself first and then seek the forgiveness of others in His time.  Seek God and make sure that He and You have that direct line of communication again.  Remind Him, that you are no longer going to walk in that sin -- that you are not sinless -- but THAT sin is over, and that You will need HIS help to continue to overcome it daily ... So, in that thought - think about sitting in the shadow of the Most High God - Your Father, Your King....and believe His Word:  
whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High- will  REST in the shadow of the Almighty.  Psalm 91.1
See, there is great victory now.  You may not see it -- cause the enemy wants you to feel underrated   and stuck within the consequences of this; however, as I have stated before - God will bring beauty out of these ashes.  Do not give up the promise God has given you,  what HE placed into Your head and heart to believe -- believe on that.  However, in the waiting time for His promise to be fulfilled -- concentrate on Him and allow Him to rebuild you, to hold you, to love you so audaciously that no matter what -- You walk in Him and can smile and know, that it is well within your soul---cause no matter what - HE is a Good Good Father.  And ponder on this:  
He has made everything beautiful in its time.  he also set eternity into the human heart: yet no one can fathom what God has done from the beginning to end.  Ecclesiastes 3.11
I see you there--awaiting....waiting....and wanting....  You are thinking, how can you now move forward - but you can.  You are thinking, what do I do now?  God will show you.  And you are  grieving -- which is important to do but don't lose hope.   God can turn situations around so quickly and when something is not of God's perfect will - I believe He, our Almighty God, has not stopped   fighting  for YOU -- HE is Your Knight in Shining Armor.   He sees your passion and pain and He will give you the patience to endure and wait on HIM! And as you wait, be reminded that Your Heavenly Father has been waiting and longing for You to return to Him for an even LONGER time.  
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you: therefore he will rise up to show you compassion, for the LORD is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for HIM!   Isaiah 30.18  
I see you there, wondering HOW it will happen -- HOW can I face today, let alone tomorrow.  HOW will this circumstance ever be 'good'.  HOW will I wait and HOW will the Lord bring beauty out of these ashes....  The glorious relief is this -- You are not responsible.  You are NOT the one that has to do it.... God will.  Listen:  
If this is so, then the LORD knows HOW to rescue the godly from trails and to hold the unrighteous for punishment on the day of judgement.  2 Peter 2.9   ( So, God will. )  
For He knows how we were formed, He remembers that we are dust.  Psalm 103.14 ( So He knows we are human and we can't fix -- but HE can and HE will.)

I see you there -- and I am praying for you.  
I see you there - and I will stand in the gap with you and wait.  
I see you there -- and I know from my own life -- God wins.  
I see you there and believe......   one day we will look back on this and know - HE orchestrated it all for our good.  
One day we will praise Him for this storm...until then, we will 'faith' it and sing praise until we can feel it within our bones.  
God knows.  
There is HOPE -- hang in there -- 

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

She may say good bye to her husband tonight --

Troubles are temporary- glory is eternal.  

1 Peter 1.24 says, "all men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field: the grass withers and the flowers fall".

"Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."   2 Corinthians 4.16-18.

What can one say to another whose husband is walking out his last days on this earth - on his way to heaven?

Psalm 119.28   My soul is weary with sorrows; strengthen me according to your word."  

Tonight I said several extra prayers for extended family.  Over two years ago, a diagnosis  of  ALS, stunned and shocked many around him.    This is not a 'fun' way to live your last years on earth.   His prayer was that the disease  would progress  quickly  - he did not want to suffer a slow death.

ALS Sucks!  

Last Sunday, our Pastor challenged us to check ourselves and our salvation.   Were we on board and doing what Christ has commissioned us?   Are we Jesus to a dying world?

I have had the pleasure  of knowing this family and its extended members  for almost 20 years now!! It is with great sadness  and some hope that I prayed this evening -- that his home going would be swift and as painless as possible.  And I prayed that each person around him would see God's grace and mercy but also be comforted as we will see him again --

But I am glad I am 1400 miles away  -- so I can cry in my own place and shed tears and not have to look into the eyes of his nieces and nephews as they say their goodbyes. Some of those nieces and nephews are my nieces and nephews.  I don't want to have to look into the eyes of my brother - his brother-n-law as he has to comfort his own children and his sister-n-law.  Tough days.  But, as I wrote this tonight - I thought back to when my nephew departed this earth - Blake.  Exactly 8 years ago today and I was reminded of the peace we experienced at his Life Celebration and the JOY that occurred when he got into Jesus's arms.    However, it still hurts.   It is never the same. 

  My extended family's name is Dave.  When I saw him this past July 4th, I was able to smile at him and pray but I cried  back then-- it hit me -- to RAW.    The emotions were too close.  Why is it that we can sometimes seem to keep it all together and then another time -- just LOSE it??   Emotions.  But God gave me the strength to share some sweet time with his wife and I have kept her in prayer. 

He is too young.  He is only a few years older than myself.   However, I also knew and heard within his voice that indeed he knew of the better place in which he would go -- heaven.   He was indeed a different person than from the previous year.  I am sure many of us would change a bit if we knew that in 1-2 years our lives on this earth would be coming to an end. 

And then the sobering thought comes across my brain -- tonight may be my last night to say good bye to my husband -- we just never know!  

** I wrote this blog last night.  Today, I checked in with my brother and hospice is there -- but now this is on God's time.  Continued prayers.  

Then  today, I thought of another precious wife  -- who is in tears as she reads this blog because her husband is headed straight for death as well.  Spiritually - he is dead.  He has pushed everything he has been told and believed to the side and choosing to live his life on his terms.   It hurts.  She is devastated.   However, she does not have that  peace that he would rest for eternity in heaven -- as he is not saved....or he has hardened his heart so hard that one  can't tell who has possession of his mind!

He does not have a terminal disease but indeed -- he is out of relationship with Jesus Christ!  

I thought of both situations and cry and thank God that my man is asleep in the other room.  But what would I say to him, if tonight was the last night  -- the last time I said "good night"? 

I would say, " I love you, thank you for making me a better person -- for making me laugh, for providing  for all of us, but also for the discipline and structure you have brought into our lives. " I would say thank you for our children and how he has given them good influence and walked a walk in front of them with honesty and integrity --even through the yucky stuff.  

 I would remind him that this "life was only temporary" and I would probably make him laugh....then I would sob...and hold him and just take a mental photo of him as I kissed him good night and said  "good bye. " But I would also pray for him - pray that indeed as he went into the arms of Jesus that he was perfectly loved and accepted.  And I would find some sort of joy in it all.  

It is easy to think and plan that and yet - who really knows WHAT would be said and HOW it would transpire.  God knows.   My prayer is that both my man and I are raptured up or go quickly -- no suffering -- but we both want to live a bit longer and enjoy MORE of what God has for us and DO MORE for HIM.   So, I am saying a quick prayer right now and telling God - thanks!  

Death -- its  necessary I guess.   I get it.  However, it is still hard and it hurts and its sad.

So tonight -- a prayer -- a bold prayer for that wife.  Her name is Shelley.

Lord, I come to you and take comfort in Your Word that you strengthen me, according to Your Word.  Lord, I envision Shelley right now, sitting at his bedside and just loving her husband of 30 +years and thanking You for the time they have had.   Lord, I pray that Shelley will experience such a supernatural peace that even the grand babies around will indeed feel Your glory.   Lord, I pray continued strength is over her and protect her heart.   Lord, help her to discern the people that will come and visit or want to 'do something'.   Lord, I pray you will just lead and direct every step. 

Lord, for the family -- and the extended family -- may they experience that same peace and may this home going be so personal and purposeful  Lord, that he would be in no pain and that he would indeed seek Your healing touch Lord -- even if it is in heaven! 

And Lord, a stated prayer for my sister tonight -( Blake's mom who kept busy today with work, yesterday,  but indeed the wave of emotions can return!! ) I am thankful at all we DID have with him while he was here for his 17 years!!   I am unsure if he can see us right now -- in heaven everything is perfect so why would he concern himself with keeping watch on us -- and also I don't believe time is a factor in heaven -- but it would be cool to think he could see the new cousins that have been born after his departing.  It would be so cool to tell him about Ava, our grand-daughter and see how he interacted with Taylor's husband - Jake.  All memories or thoughts we will enjoy on the other side of this Earth!!  

And another prayer for that wife who is hanging on by a shear thread to her marriage.  Bless her efforts, bless her steadfastness and her integrity as she is wore out.   Some journeys' take 2 months, 2 years, or even 20.... only YOU know the timeline but Lord, we thank you that YOUR timing is perfect.  HELP her as I know you are, may she see some supernatural events or situations or even messages that speak to her with BOLD volume as she waits.   And as she waits, help me to be  prayer warrior that stands in the gap -- but is also real with her.   

Lord, ONLY you can dissolve a marriage.    Lord, ONLY Your will is to be done.  For the ones, the wives or even husbands that don't see any hope with their spouce at the moment and have had that deep thought and fear..and have said, "Lord, take them home...I have had enough".  God, those are scary words  - words that SAtan can hear and RUN with.  So I pray, even as the enemy continues to fire darts into the camp of marriage -- that each one reading this is  at a place where they can pray for their marriage and pray for their husband and wait on YOU.  And I pray that anyone reading this and wants MORE of YOU -- would SEEK YOU.  And I pray for my own marriage and  husband -- the enemy has not let up ....being married is difficult.  It is an attack on God's plan -- when a marriage fails...there is always MORE to the story, but God I pray that a miracle would occur for this one and that one and this new one as well....and for anyone reading this.  

Lord, we know how blessed we are - Lord thank you for this medium where I can share a prayer and I pray YOU will use it big.  

IN Jesus name, Amen.