Thursday, April 20, 2017

When the enemy uses another to remind us of our past.....

  I wrote this blog back in June of 2012.  My husband and I were in counsel  and we were in the process of restoration.  By June of 2012 we were over a lot of the UGLY stuff, but the enemy would continue to use different situations to remind me of my past and our past.  Today, as I was reading and praying, I came across this blog and about 1/2 way into the prayer, I knew it needed to be reposted and shared.   There is at least one  woman out there  trying to continue to do what God has asked her to and it is hard.   As I read my plea and prayer to God -  I could hear how it was HARD for me too.  But God is faithful.

This past week - more life has happened and I have been deep in prayer for some situations.  In fact, today - the verse from Isaiah  26.3 is in front of me in 4 different versions so I can allow each one to minister to my heart and head when it starts to wonder.  

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.  Isaiah 26.3.  

When I start to feel the emotion of the circumstances around me -- I am reciting that verse.  God gives us our DAILY BREAD.... grab this manna for today and let tomorrow come when it comes....

 So, I will share:  

 I have been pretty quiet lately. 
Been thinking a lot, busy a lot, and just really asking God ..'what'.

I remember what both Beth Moore  and Patsy Clairmont have said,  and I have heard Joyce Meyers say it too....if you are going to speak - make sure it is of worth or of value. 

Words are so important.

HIS words are so important. 

Today, I will be honest, I got 'hit' with something again.  Now mind, you -- I am ok.  I am.  It is just one of those things....our minds...and how they can wander, so we RENEW it with HIS word. 

Right?  Right! 

I was a sitting and just praying and went to my Believing God devotional for today as Beth has HIS word for each day and then her commentary and of course, it ministered to me. 

Romans 6.1 says....
What should we say then?  Should we continue to sin in order that grace may multiply? 

Beth comments: 

To many, the fact that God has declared us holy and righteous before Him by means of Christ's substitutionary death gives us license to sin.  But we would be severely mistaken to rationalize God's grace and forgiveness into permission to act like pagans. 

Those who presently and actively believe God are prompted to make wiser and healthier decisions.  Authentic faith cannot help but act. 

THAT...really hit me.....Authentic faith cannot help but act.

Beth continues,  If we really believe what the Word says about God and about us, our decisions and behaviors will reflect it.  How we behave overwhelmingly flows from what we deeply believe. 

Now, I , Michelle, wants to comment:

....what we deeply believe.

I believe God is good.  
I believe that I am accepted, adopted, redeemed, blessed, forgiven, and free. 
I believe that God redeems and restores. 
I know God is good.
I know that I am accepted, adopted, redeemed, blessed, forgiven and free.
I know that God redeems and restores.

I know God can 'have this'. 

I know I can do HARD.
I know I can wait.
I know that others can too! 

I believe the Enemy just wants to get into my head today and remind and remind me of my past...his past.....that past...and this failure..and that failure....and why this makes me mad and why that is still happening...

I see the Enemy trying his hand in others around me. 

ENOUGH.....ENOUGH.... Satan -- GET the hell away....YOU have NO authority here!  Amen. 

It is pure and simple. 

Now to act and live in that belief....that is the harder part.   But....we can do hard. 

I believe this scripture reminded me that I can't 'use' this drip or constant lie from the Enemy as an excuse...I know how to get rid of it - through prayer and faith. 

Praise God.
Lord, thank you for Your we can look at it a year ago and it speaks to us in this manner and then in the next glance, it means that and it heals in a different spot.

Lord, I have one friend ( and others ) that is really being attacked right now - Lord, remind her to behave within how she knows...YOU will heal this.  Lord, be there.

Lord,  for my own thoughts today, I realize it may just be my time of the month, or you are working 'death' in one thing ...and 'life' in another, but I am sick of this constant 'drip' the Enemy seems to want to use against me.  Specfically Lord, the timeline....the idea of the timeline and the unanswered questions are like a constant drip and I don't want it anymore.  I am sick of it says in Proverbs today..that constant dripping -- stop the faucet.  Stop the leak.  Take it back in YOUR manner Lord, as when YOU do it...when YOU heal is always so much better than what "I wanted'.....  Lord, if I need to seek some extra professional counsel - burden me - make it happen.  Humble me Lord, I believe I  am so close...I don't want to ever use any of 'it' as a stumbling block.   If I just need the time to sort it out...continue to sustain me.  But Lord -- do it.  IF I just need you 24/7..which I already know the answer to that...just reshow me. 

Lord,  give me the grace to wait. 

Lord, I realize that in the scope of things...this is a 'small' request, but you know my heart and our small requests are just as priceless to you as the big the people in Colorado and the fires...Lord, send rain...but Praise You Lord, that we can come to you and ask. and know - YOU hear and YOU answer.

My flesh feels better now Lord.
My  man reminded me again today Lord, to walk in our Spirit...we can't walk in the flesh here...we must walk in the spirit...therefore, no wonder why the Enemy wants to attack...

Help me walk in the Spirit, period.

I believe my 'dry' spell of writing was relieved....empty me of me...pour in more of you.....

May this be for your glory..not for mine.    Amen. 

- michelle

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

To my Children... A series of blogs for Parents - #1

This series of   blogs- maybe two or even more   is long over due.  I know the Lord commissioned me several weeks ago to write these and I have been in prayer and thinking but I have also been avoiding.  I used the moving into our home as my first excuse.  That event did take up a lot of time and work, but we are in and settled.  

Well, maybe not settled -- it is difficult and just a little frustrating to reteach yourself a new routine and to remember exactly where the  t-shirts are  as compared to where I actually put them.  You would think that one would place them in a  new dresser, but other stuff took "that" drawer.     But that is for another blog.  

This series may be  written for children -- adult children.  This is series is not necessarily written for my children and yet it may be. And it is being written for the parents of these adult children.   I am praying and believing that this blog series will be shared and be a hope for some parents, be a reality check for others, and maybe it will even give some  the courage to have a conversation with that adult child that they have been avoiding.  

I think one of the reasons why I have been avoiding this,  is because I don't want to bring my own children into this. 

 I blog.  

I share my heart --  in and throughout that you learn about my children but in no way do I want the enemy to use ANY part of these blogs to hurt them.  I do have two grown children and their lives and their experiences will probably be woven into these blogs, but this is NOT about them.  Honestly, most of my circle of friends have teens or soon to be adult children and their lives, their heartaches, prayers, and my prayers for them could  also be woven into this series and inspire me to write but then again I truly only write when the Holy Spirit is writing for me.  I trust God.

 Again, I pray this will help - not hurt but there are a few truths, that I will be sharing to all but also to my own children  and nothing I write or say on here, is nothing that I have not already stated or said to each of my children at one time or another -- it is what it is.  So with that -- I begin.....

To be a Prodigal ....

In doing some research and  in thinking about where I should start  this blog, the story of the Prodigal Son would pop up.  And then I think,  but what about this scenario?

What if I don't really have a prodigal kid?

What if I really do have that prodigal kid?  

What if I only have a kid that just seems to 'sin' occasionally?

What if I have an adult child that does goes to church and loves God but I know there is some deep stuff that the Lord wants to work up and out and I see so much MORE potential in them?

What about those parents that are dealing with sons and daughter into heavy addiction?

What about those people around me that love their children dearly and the choices their child is making is so totally against God's Word?

What about those parents around me that are heartbroken because they continue to see defeat in their child?

What about that one set of parents too scared to let their adult child know -- they are 'cruzin for a bruizen?'    Did your mom ever say that to you?

What about that parent that is just not happy with their child's choices?

What about that parent who had to tell their adult child they would no longer bail them out of jail?

What about that parent who has to visit their child in jail or a program of sort?

And what about the parent(s)  who watch their grown children parent their own children and know that their adult children still have not experienced the true freedom of living for and with Christ ?

And what about the parents who even have great grandchildren who still see their own grown adult children living in defeat and frustration simply because they don't allow the Lord to be Lord of their lives?   

Questions -- so many questions.   Where do I begin?

This may be another reason why I have avoided blogging - where do I begin? 

I asked God ......

And the Holy Spirit clearly brought me to the first commandment. 

Matthew 22:37-40 (NLT)

37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Basically -- You shall love NO other gods before me.  God has to be first.  God has to be first with ALL of my soul.  God has to be first with my mind.    And others.

It is because of my love of others and especially because of my own  children that these blogs will begin.  I will boldly share and declare that these adult children around me and these lost ones not only in my close and immediate family but in extended family and friends will....come into agreement with me and their parents and God will win!   IN Jesus's strong and perfected name, AMEN! 

And even as I type this and read it - the enemy reminds me, "they are only teens -- think about when you were 19 and 20?".  "How can you write and share about prayers for adult children when you were such a hypocrite?"

 So, I did think.  And I praise God that I never met my maker at that age.   Or for that matter, I am thankful I did not meet my maker in my late 20's or even 30's as I am unsure if I would of heard, " welcome child" or if I would of heard, "be gone, I do not know you!"
Scary??   Or just reality? 

 Growing up in  a home where church was a part of each Sunday does not guarantee heaven.  Growing up in a home where  love and explanation of how important that relationship  with Jesus  is -- does not guarantee heaven.

 I  may of just  explained the two extremes between my husband and I.

At 16 he would say, " I am going to heaven".
At 16 I would say, "I hope to go to heaven".
Thus began our courtship and many years of thinking and searching.  I do believe, when I was 19,  I walked an  aisle and raised my hand when the speaker said, "do you want Jesus in your heart?  Do you know he died for your sins?".  I did know that -- I knew that since I was in 2nd grade.  I had heard all the stories, etc. etc.  And when I got married, pre-marital counsel asked tough questions.

"Do you believe in God?".  "How do you know you are saved?".  "How will you raise your children, Catholic or Pentecostal?"

But when did I truly know God was my Lord and Savior -- when  He loved me enough to allow EVERYTHING to be pulled from me...that I truly needed Him.  God became my Savior when I was a kid.  But I did not GET WHAT that meant until I was in my 20's.  Then God became someone I needed in my 20's and 30's and so I looked to Him - prayed to Him and began to study Him, but HE did not  become LORD of my life until I was broken -- about  38 years of age.    And I fell in LOVE with God when I was 45... broken, about to be separated again from my husband and THEN....I surrendered.  Finally - everything to God.  He became LORD. 

So why do I think some prayers for some ADULT kids will HELP those kids and parents now??  
I don't in my human flesh -- but GOD is commissioning these blogs and I am being obedient.  So with that - I will pray.   


  • Lord, for those  parents that have children where they  can see and know YOU are NOT number one -yet.   Lord, I pray for them -- that they would declare their kids WILL call You Lord! 
  • Lord, for those of us parents that have adult children who have placed other gods before you -- we pray and agree that indeed YOU will win and they will see in us a hope of their calling -- what YOU have planned for them -- good plans.    Lord, that we are parents- check ourselves and our hearts and make sure we are being  Christlike -- so us our own sin - may we empty ourselves of us and have more room to allow YOU to fill us as parents.   
  • Lord, for those  parents struggling because their children are SO FAR gone and there does not seem to be HOPE -- we claim there still is HOPE.  
  •  Lord, as I conclude this first blog, I pray it will be USED by you and this simple prayer that simply says: 
  • My children WILL have no other gods but YOU Lord -- and I will declare that my children  ( place their names here ) will call upon YOU and LOVE you  and they will in turn be more Christlike and they will love their neighbors as themselves.  Lord, we declare this, In YOUR precious and perfect name - a name above NO other names, we will see the fruition of this prayer in our lifetimes, IN JESUS name, AMEN.   

For my own children - HP and TP and JP -- we pray EACH day that God is #1 in your life.  I pray HE is revealing to each of you, individually, daily, what must be removed so that MORE of HIM can be in each of you.  Love you dearly - "Mumzie, Ma, and Chelly"

Friday, April 14, 2017


Those of us who have been rescued by God -- have nothing to prove.

We can call sin what it is because our sin has been paid for, cared for.  We rest in who we are and what God has accomplished for us.

This is a perfect "good Friday" blog - right?  

Today -- I am struggling.  

The struggle between the Spirit of God and evil has been warring since before
God spun the planets.
 This is the universal problem:  the Spirit of Life and peace versus the law of sin and death.

But what about when it does not seem like it is  evil...

It is just a bad day at work.
It is just an argument that was left unresolved.

It was just something said in the HEAT of the moment and in the anger that now has you spinning -- and on a different course.....

I read this:  

We categorize our sin in a grand gesture to feel better about ourselves.  To feel better about out lives.  When in fact, God really does not care about the particular sin we love -- HE wants us to see that we sin and he wants us to see we are helpless without Him.    - Jennie Allen

Isaiah 53.6

All we like sheep have gone astray: we have turned -- every one -- to his own way: and the LORD has laid on ( Christ ) the iniquity of us all.  

Today is Good Friday -- Christ used 'this' day -- to take it ALL.  

Where are you today?
Where am I?

I am interceding in prayer -- there is a loved, dear one about to go under the knife -- cancer -- another tumor.
I am interceding in prayer -- there is a heart, so broken right now and I can't help her.
I am interceding in prayer -- there is another whose husband has abandoned her and she is has to learn to totally LEAN on Jesus and allow Him to be her husband.
I am interceding in prayer -- for my own stuff.
And  just when I claim that I am 'good'....more stuff happens.  It just does.

As I continue to seek God and seek to understand Him and His plans, I know His plans for me are good.

I know there is NO condemnation for THOSE in Christ Jesus according to His Word in Romans 8 but when we are attacked certainly feels like we are condemned.

As I grow in Christ and walk in Faith with Him -- He changes every relationship and He even removes relationships.   He changes how we spend our time, He changes our motives, even our passions.  He changes how we live and where  we will spend eternity.  He strips us of performing and pretending and lays us bare...

...fully aware of our NEED for HIM.

While it is costly and even threatening -- is is what we were designed for!   

If we trust God -- we are forgiven.
If we confess our sins -- we are forgiven.
If we seek God -- He will answer.

Today as I have been praying and wanting to blog, Micah 6.8 continues to ring clear in my brain.
Seek Justice, love Mercy, walk humbly with our  God.

So with that -- I MUST extend the one that really hurt me recently,
I must extend GRACE to the ones that I am extending prayer for....and trust that God is at work.
I must extend GRACE to myself -- that I can mess up too.
I must extend GRACE!

I can't always be perfect, nor know what to say or what to blog, or even how to pray -- but by HIS Grace.....and His mercy..... and with His Word......

Proverbs 3.34 says:   Toward the scorners he is scornful, but to the humble he gives favor.

God was - is --so GOOD to us, despite our sin.  He was merciful to us and gave us Jesus to make us right with HIM.

Obedience turns into a response to the love of our God - rather than a duty to perform for Him.

Let's move from focusing on our need ....or prayer request...or on our hurt..... and fix our eyes on the FACE of God.  He changes everything.

Being humble  = being fully occupied with God.

Luke 6: 28-30  
Bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.  To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.  Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back.  

Anger is our reaction to when we feel our rights are being taken away from us.  We get angry about not getting what we think we deserve.   -- But God is calling us to die to those rights.

This is the crazy part - we are to LOVE those who hate us.  It is radical and insane.  We are to be giving to those who don't appreciate it.

..........and that  grace can  be given  --- even when  our husbands --when out of anger and  out of their own issues they lash out at us--
.........and that grace can be given to a friend that does not see eye to eye with us --
......and that grace can be given to an adult child who has made very poor choices --
.......and that grace can be given to the lost, right next to us --

Lord, may the one that reads this understand that being broken before you is a good allows You to become more in their lives.  Lord, may the one reading this, including me, seek forgiveness for whatever needs be and that they would also extend forgiveness, including me when out of anger words fly.  Lord, You carried a cross for me on 'this' day so many years ago and took ALL of my sin.  Lord, You are calling us, calling me to surrender what is not of you and take up our cross .

Lord, I want the freedom found in allowing You to defend me, even IF I don't see it until heaven. 
Lord, I want to accept that life is not right and fair now, but it will be. 
Lord, I want to love instead of defending or fearing or fighting. 
Lord, I pray that I will freely give and not have a sense of entitlement. 
Lord, I pray that as I embrace my faults -- rathe than prove my points or defend myself.  
Lord, I pray and release others' perceptions and understandings of me and I pray that I would HOLD onto Your understandings of me -- since You know my heart! 
And Lord, I embrace the death of my 'rights' and desires -- and receive Your will in my life.  Lord, I trust You.  I trust the past few days leading up to - today -- have been all apart of Your will and plan.  A plan not only for me - but for those around me and for the total stranger READING this right now -- may they Seek Justice, Love Mercy, and humbly walk with You as their God.  And Lord, that they would extend Grace......

In Jesus name, Amen.  

Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?"  
Matthew 16: 24-26