Wednesday, March 29, 2017


There are 43 days left of school and I am counting down -- I want to ESCAPE.  Especially now that I have a new house and I just want to spend my extra time there - getting it to feel like our home! 

I did a study once a few years ago called "THE GREAT ESCAPE".  It was a Beth Moore Study. 

 Per Beth Moore:  "The GREAT Escape is so GREAT, so great that ONLY God could accomplish it" and THAT is what transpired. 


  The GREAT Escape is so GREAT, so great that ONLY God could accomplish it! 

In church a while ago,  one of my pastor's asked us all to stop and pray as he read out of Isa. 35-- he felt the Lord, was impressing upon him to remind everyone that this 'season' of a dry spell can be over -- to seek God and stand with him and pray.

I actually sat -- as I was dry season had been refreshed and replaced with joy and hope but as I could feel everyone around me stand, I could hear the HS quickly remind me to stand --

Psalm 124: 1-8 
 If it has not been the LORD who was on our side --- let Israel now say -- If it has not been the LORD who was on our side when people rose up against us, then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us: then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us;  then over us would have gone the raging waters.  Blessed be the LORD< who has not given us as prey to their teeth!  We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we have escaped!  Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

Beth's main teaching points were:  

1.  God's will for my life -- has a slick and deceptive counterfeit.  ( Satan is the accuser! )
The devil is REAL.    If you don't acknowledge that the enemy is doing anything and everything to KILL you -- you are like a  bird - trapped in a cage.

2.   A trap is ANY place where we are captive to the enemy's will.  ( We can be God's people and STILL be used by the enemy's will. )   We can be of GREAT use to the enemy when we are held captive ....  Don't you wish to be set free?

3.  Satan will settle for our USELESSNESS...but he prefers to put us to use.  (Satan is the GREAT accuser and when he uses us to accuse the body -- or another....we are being used!)

4.  We are  a great use to the Accuser when we assist with accusation.
Accusation is behind the back.... Confrontation is face to face!
Accusation fights against ...Confrontation fights for!
Accusing is counterfeit for authority!

Accusing FEELS good when WE feel bad!!!!!    ( OH my - this one HURT....) 
Confrontation is biblical but accusation is NOT!  
Accusation is contagious.....

5.   The Accuser's focused target is ANY child of God!   (But God is on my side!)

6.  Unresolved arguments,  merge with east onto the road of accusation!
( Give NO place to the devil.)

7.  We have the divine right to RECLAIM our belongings in Christ.  ( God wins!  WE win.)


8.  The GOD of Peace will soon crush Satan under your feet!  ( Romans 16.20)

If the Lord had not been on my side.....

----this could of or maybe would of been  my testimony:  

I would of eventually found love - probably in another man ( maybe even married man), I would of continued to numb my pain with alcohol and I would of ignored the call on my life to teach and lead others to My Savior. I would be divorced and bitter.   I would of allowed the enemy to win and my children would of suffered and I know I would probably be compromising everything.  I am in awe and honored that God allowed a struggling marriage to open my eyes to HIS word and that HIS Word became alive and active within me that I began to seek counsel and a consistent prayer life....which built up my inner man ( woman)  so that when God allowed a 'sifting like wheat'  I was assured of my identity in Christ and thus began a journey of more prayer, seeking, forgiveness, redemption, restoration, and then healing so that ....God won. 

 If it would of not been for the LORD on my side ....I would not of come to my senses to escape the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.  ( 2 Tim 2. 26)  Again, I am in awe and honor that what the enemy tried to kill and destroy - thrives in a marriage that is founded and sustained on HIM and that together, with my husband, -- we can live the life HE called us to.  amen.  
   Lord, -- for the one reading this -- that she may experience a GREAT ESCAPE and SOON!  

IN Jesus name - amen.  

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

With anticipation ----

...we are all a work in progress....we get healing....we live....the enemy will  try to oppress us again...we refuel...and fight the good fight....get healing.....have peace....and then live some more....

Does that seem like defeat?  I don't think so -- this is life...real life....being real.

Tonight, I am dead tired but I can't sleep.  My mind is racing -- tomorrow or later on TODAY, my husband and I will sign ourselves to a 30 year mortgage and buy our 2nd home.   I am 51 - I know we will pay more on the mortgage than the minimal payment, but if we don't -- I will be 81 when I pay this off!!   But hey, if the Lord calls for His Bride - what do I have to worry about?

 For the past 6 1/2 years we have rented.   5 places now in 6 years.  Each move was God orchestrated but I really did not believe it would take us almost 7 years to finally settle on our next home.  We have already 'dubbed' this one - the REDEMPTION HOUSE.

The kids named one of our  rentals, "the awkward house".  Then came "the healing house".   Then we had the "green house" and then our "cottage".     The names all sort of represented our lives and  the atmosphere of a marriage.  The ironic thing is -- where  we are now purchasing  -- we  really  are buying a cottage - at the Lake!   We were in the plans of building -- I still must pay the architect -- and  in a few years, if the Lord tarries,  I believe we will build that dream home, but for now - home ownership consists of a 2 bedroom 2 story cottage literally AT the Lake!   And we are tickled and elated at the mercy and grace of God. 

In trying to get some new praise and worship music on my phone, I came across a new album by Mercy Me - "Lifer".  The first few songs on this album are powerful. "Even If" was my life at a point and I found myself singing it over and over and over and over just the other day -- and it ministered to me. 

There is another one too  by Sidewalk Prophets called , "this Hope" -- again -- God can minister to us, heal us, comfort us -- all while we worship.  Back to the song, "Even If"....

There is a line " God when you choose to leave mountains unmovable -- Give me the strength to be able to sing, it is WELL WITH MY SOUL".  

As I type, I can hear the melody over and over in my brain.  As I converse with God and pray I am reminded of Psalm 57.2. 

Psm 57:2 says...I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills HIS purpose for me.

There has been purpose to the past 7 years.
There has been purpose for each move and each house.

We praise God for this new home, on the water, and as we prayed this evening -- the mortgage officer  needed ONE more form emailed and e signed.   And then another email alerted us to a slight problem, so we called on Jesus and put it ALL back in HIS lap!   My momma always told me to be careful and "not count your chickens before they hatch" and writing this blog and stating this house will be our home before we actually sign the dotted line may indeed  be counting my chickens - but I believe with all of my heart that God is faithful and there has been WAY too many  moments of, "that was God" to think this won't happen later today !   But, as we prayed - we prayed and thanked God but also knew that EVEN if the sale did not go through today - we would be WELL in our SOULS! 

I also thought of this......

And Psalm 55: vs. 22  Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you..he will never let the righteous fall.   

Almost 7 years ago -- May 1st to be exact -- my house fell apart.   Long story - read other blogs but I find it so sweet of God that He is working this out.  That we will be able to spend May 1st, 2017 -- 7 years later after the  brokenness  ----

---------that we will be enjoying the REDEMPTION House  and God's redemption- God wins!

7 is God's perfect number.  Completion!   And we sign on the 28th day of the month --
28 has many biblical meanings.  I did some research and was fascinated with what is listed 28x in the bible and where it falls.  Often 28 is in connection with 4 sevens.
But what made me smile the most was the connection of 28 meaning   eternal life  and the leading of the Holy Spirit.   BOTH really awesome thoughts.     BOTH I receive.    I am not an alarmist nor is this blog about the end times - but often both my husband and I speak and think -- will the rapture come before this purchase or after?   Will we really have to make payments for 15 years or will God call us home?   ......eternal??    Our eternal home?   !!!!!

But as I sit and try to type  and think -- I go back to the song by Mercy Me. " God when you choose to leave mountains unmovable -- Give me the strength to be able to sing, it is WELL WITH MY SOUL". 

And I think back to that fateful May 1st of 2010 and then the life afterwards -- was I able to sing, "it is well with my soul?".     I wasn't able to that night or awhile after that fateful day -- but eventually with God's grace, mercy, and extended arms holding me I began to walk differently and eventually I could say, "it was WELL with my SOUL". 

 I am able to SING that now!!  

I am living proof of a miracle.  I mean, I did not overcome some major disease or anything but, from my perspective....I was one very lost and hurt soul and I literally believed that God had forgotten me.  I was proof....

I was a woman with defeat, hurt, and I did not have the freedom that Christ intended for me and getting that finally - was a miracle!

My marriage is living proof...that God restores.

My man is a living proof of God's grace, favor, and restoration.

My new home is living proof that God does give us the desires of our hearts.

 Both Bren and I  know and acknowledge that God did this. We had been praying about this particular home since last September!

To see something come back to life....that was literally dead...that is a proof of HIS power and majesty.  I have seen that!  

I have seen so much, experienced so much in the past six and a half years ....I am humbled.

The end of Psalm 55 says -- But as for me, I trust in you.

Tonight -- 

There is a wife, a woman trying to SING  it is WELL when it does  seem that God has not moved the unmovable mountain -- but  I pray she can still  SING, "it is well in my soul?".  I pray she can!    
 There is another, sitting with some unbearable mouth pain and her adult daughter seems to be the unmovable mountain and I pray she will continue to believe - it is  WELL in her SOUL.
color choices.... FUN!
There is another wife, hurting cause the one who claims to be her husband continues to allow the enemy to be his first love -- and she wants to believe it will be WELL with her SOUL.     

Lord, I trust in you. 

 When I finally did trust many things changed, but it was a process. 
There is another who has seen some victory within her circle and within her marriage but SO much more is needed -- I pray -- she will be patient and stay focused on God so that she can also SING, "it is well in my soul".  

Tonight, as I think about tomorrow ( later today ) I just praise God that indeed we have come full circle.   I believe God orchestrated the date of sale, the delay and even the pleasure of the past month in getting ready for this move.   The night my house 'fell' seven years ago, the Lord gave me a vision.   It held me.   Some sixteen months after that, when we sold our  first home of 18 years and moved to our first rental I heard God say to me, "Bren will rebuild the home".     

Within a week of that, he went to an architect and began to get plans.    We were in such an awkward state that I did not question - ANYTHING he did and as each time he returned home from the architect, I would just smile and pray -- as I had to believe.   We never were able to get serious about  that building -- there have been MANY detours, bills, and kids college funds and other stuff  that dictated our funds for some time, but we are finally in a SPOT to get most bang  for our buck!  

But  as I thank God, in this past month, my man has taken me furniture shopping and even proved unbelievable when   he joined  me at a Home Goods store--- which was WAY out of his element.   To me, that alone, is a miracle!!  WE both are so excited to be homeowners and no longer renters -- and  as I see it, my husband is rebuilding the home.  I have seen God use  him to restore relationships between our kids and him.   I have seen a man provide.  I have see something that was dead come alive.   

In singing that song from Mercy Me - "EVEN IF" and then hitting the fast forward button to the next song on the album I discovered another song  -- 

It is called, "WE WIN".  Oh my Lort....  Yes -- WE win.  God won.  God wins.   I literally just heard it and it will take me a few days to memorize the lyrics but there will be another blog about that -- as the tears rolled down my eyes and I danced before Him in my little 'cottage' now -- I knew there would be new dance parties at our new place!     And I thought of the women I am interceding for right now and I want to encourage them -- God will win.   And.... your marriage MAY not be dead yet -- hold on!   And I thought of the precious loved one that is on my heart - who needs Jesus dearly ....and I claimed - "she will win!".   Lord, "her story is not over!".   And I just marveled again at HOW this life -- is indeed about our eternal home but in the mean time, I will enjoy my little Red Cottage at the Lake, Our Redemption House, our next place!  

God you are SO stinking sweet and I am humbled.   May everyone that enters our new place see and KNOW that You are Lord.  Lord for Martha today -- I totally believe You orchestrated our meeting and may we always stay in touch with her.  ( She is selling us her home.)   Lord, thank you for the landlords we have been blessed with -- especially one that I am most fond of  -- a brother in law - bless him and his family Lord.   And Lord, may this blog bring you glory --
 - may this blog bring HOPE for the one reading and encourage those specifically that I am writing about, as they knew who they are.  

Lord,  until You write through me again -- use this Lord - YOU win!  
- humbled, Michelle 

 - humbled.......   

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Chocolate milk, a tooth ache, and furniture shopping !

I know that I know the Lord has commissioned me to write a blog for parents of ADULT children.  In my head I think its a few blogs, maybe seven.   I even found a really cool photo /graphic to go with first blog post but I have been procrastinating the writing of those blog posts.  

I have even been thinking over and over as to-- when.  When does it  GET easier to be a parent? It is easier when you can spank them and place them in their crib or when you can literally cut them off your payroll and remind them they are on their own??

Why am I procrastinating?   Why does anyone procrastinate at all?   Cause we probably don't want to do whatever it is that we need to do ----

 I know these next few blogs will be personal.   I have two adult children.  Both are loved dearly and these blog posts are not to shame or disclose a major problem -- it is just that prayers for these two did not stop when they moved out of our home or when one of them got married.

I have a few sweet sisters in Christ that have  adult children, and I  know that they WANT to spank them  -- but can't.

 I have a few dear friends,  who have asked me to pray  for their children,  and I have -- but their children are still making stupid choices and the consequences bleed onto everyone around.  

And, there are some adult children, including extended family, very close to me that know better and yet, they still feel justified to manipulate and tell God what should be next or basically ignore God.

So -- as I reflect this evening  -- I stop and think, "I guess there  are some things --that chocolate milk can't make better!"

I have a tooth ache.  I need to see my favorite dentist but I have been putting it off - too busy.  I pray each night and throughout the day and claim a healing on the  surrounding gums and tooth area, but God has not seen fit to finish the healing --yet.  I know the drill - literally.  This girl was raised on Kool-aid with NO fluoride and there just isn't a spot in my structure that could have a cavity - it is most likely a spot that needs a root canal.  Ya....

  However, I just can't take the time to see Dr. Mark -- I have been furniture shopping.
I have been checking on rates for Comcast vs. Direct TV.  I have been trying to locate the RIGHT color of 'red' that matches the house I am about to purchase.  I have been checking emails daily for E signatures that need to go back to the Mortgage Broker and to our Realtor and I have been dreaming.

Dreaming of where I am going to place each new piece of furniture we have purchased.  I have been dreaming as to WHERE I am going to put the junk drawer  in the kitchen and  WHERE to place my 30 gallon crock and its table top?

( Oh wait, WHERE is that top for that crock to make it into an end table?)  

 I have been dreaming and planning out exactly where to place my plates in comparison to where the silverware will go.  I have been measuring to see if I can keep my regular stackable washer and dryer rather than the "condo" stackable one in the unit.  I have been dreaming about paint palettes and distressing cabinets. I  can see myself unloading  boxes in my dreams and I think I have finally  found the MOST perfect shade of grey for the inside walls.  I just want the next  2 weeks to fly buy and ask someone to WAKE me up when it  has passed.

  However, that won't happen. It shouldn't happen -- one day at a time.

 Did I mention we bought a house?   Or...we are about to.  Tonight, it took several prayers and some God time before a particular addendum was finally understood and e signed  - so it does look like all the paperwork is on target for our closing next Tuesday!!   But anyway ---

So -- when everything seems to get overwhelming I pray but I also grab a swallow of Chocolate milk -- 

 In the meantime, I am asking God to intercede and make a  husband's eyes open to the beautiful wife he has in front of him ....why would he defy God's design and order and commit adultery and then flaunt it in front of her?

And for another sweet sweet woman of God waiting on Him to heal her marriage - as they have  been through a lot but he still has not totally surrendered  his life and heart to the Lord, so she is still unequally yoked and her heart is so lonely to be in fellowship with her husband.

 And in the meantime, I am praying that a mediation event in the next few days won't happen -- that each of the sides will see that the marriage CAN be saved if they both just  fought for the other.

 And in the meantime there is another sweet mother with an adult child, who has found himself going to be a  baby daddy,  where there is  already  heartache, drama,  and troubles.  Both her son and the baby momma and this little one  who is  only a few weeks old in that belly-- need prayer.

And in the meantime, there is yet another wife that has given her husband another chance and extended grace and forgiveness and yet -- he won't  submit, seek godly counsel and be obedient to the vows he made.

And there are a few more -- especially a few more moms who are heartbroken over their adult children's behaviors, patterns, and choices and it makes them question, "what did I do wrong?".

So, with that intercession -- I go and grab a glass and pour myself about an inch and a half of TRU MOO -- and for a brief moment, about 36 seconds, I am LOST in that world of chocolate milk and it tastes so good.

 Then my tooth begins to throb - it is too cold.  "oh ya...I have that toothache"  and my reality sets back in.   And I stare at the boxes I have packed up and look at the next closet that is ready to be organized and purged.  And I grab my bible on my phone -- too tired to read it, I will listen to Psalm 37 that reminds me not to worry about the wicked and to TRUST in God...

And that Psalm reminds me to do everything  with a commitment to Him and delight in that.  I am reminded to be still  -- as the lowly will possess the land and will live in peace and prosperity.

And it goes on to and reminds me - the Lord takes care of the godly and the innocent.  Day by Day -- the Lord takes care of the innocent.....

So I pray --  

Lord, I am SO grateful for the chance to  escape and grab that swallow of Chocolate milk and for that moment it tastes so good -- but God -- for those that need more than a swallow of You -- 

Lord, for those mothers who have an adult child in some sort of jail or prison this evening - God, that their hope would be seen to all around them.  

Lord,  for those mothers who WANTED SO much more for their sons and daughters ....  school, college...a job...a career ....and THEN companionship /courtship and finally marriage.   In THAT order --  Lord, for the mother's mourning of  that dream they walk through the difficult waters of an unexpected pregnancy.  As they try to be supportive and yet, as a mother, they WANT so much more for their son or daughter as it won't be easy raising a child when they are unequally yoked.  

Lord,  for the mother who has had to watch their child hurt so badly because of choices made for them -- like a sudden death of a pet or even the sudden death of a relationship ......

Lord for the mother who has had to watch her child hurt so badly because of the choices he made and the consequences are now in full force ......

And Lord, for this tooth ache -- I trust you -- I know You can totally heal it and I am going to believe You will!  

Lord, as It says in Your Word to take delight in You and You will give our hearts our desires -- Lord, I have seen that SO often and delight when I see it happen in the lives of those around me, so as I pray I pray also for HOPE -- 

I  pray these mothers will continue to have HOPE.  That even if their dream is not as they envisioned....that indeed, they will see beauty out of every ash -- and that they will know that they know within their hearts that YOU are faithful and You direct their steps -- 

And Lord for this random post - may it bless just one more -- especially  the ones that read this entire blog until the end -- perhaps she has an adult child that needs to be spanked too -- IN Jesus name, Amen.  

Monday, March 13, 2017

Written Expression and a TEST score!

For the past 120 days my focus at school has been the FSA Writing assessment.  Now hear me out, some days I was focused on Christmas, or a student's trials, and even how to plan Apple Day; but for the most part there was more focus on writing instruction in my classroom. 

I have been teaching now for 29 years!  29 groups or sets of students have graced my four walls.  Students that changed my life, students that added to my life, students that added to my life, and students, who I felt, I gave life too.  One student even published a book as a teenager -- what a blessing that was to see and to read!  At each year, whether I was teaching first graders or fifth graders, I would always share my love of writing with them.  We have written stories, endings to nursery rhymes, and even retold a few myths or fables.  One group of kids wrote a new Cinderella story and it was runner up in a National Contest!!  We have also written state reports, consumer reports, and I believe I have helped to research each of the 50 states.  We have written letters to kids in other states and letters to deceased Presidents.  WE have even written obituaries for pencils that are now "dead" due to overuse.   In this process, about 20 years ago, FCAT writing assessment popped up and I was in the middle of teaching third graders.

Where did this love of written expression come from?  Maybe, my folks....  I remember intercepting a handful of love letters my Dad wrote to my Mom while they were courting.  I remember my Mom sitting at the counter helping my sister or brother with homework and a writing project.  I remember my Mom writing that year End - 4-H Club yearbook where we wrote and wrote about each member and WHAT they had accomplished that year.  ( late night deadlines!!)  I also remember countless nights of daydreaming as I helped my Dad milk cows and imagining my future, my Prince Charming, and day dreaming while I was cleaning the teets of the cows!  ( yes...teets!)  Maybe it was all those summers when Dad would 'hit' the TV and /or rip the wires off the back of the TV and we had a summer to be outside and read and I LIVED for the paper to be delivered so I could get news!   Or maybe it was the countless spelling words I had to recopy as a grade school kid -- that was writing, right?

Back to that FCAT assessment.  My dear friend was teaching 4th and I remember  her speaking about "how" or what can we do to get kids successful in 4th grade?  Thus began a specific and strategic plan to get writing in K -- and all the way up so that by 4th grade, all she had to do is refine that writing!  Sounds good - right?  Easier said than done.... but I am pretty proud of what WE - as a SCHOOL - did accomplish many years ago.  We were an "F" school before they published that sort of stuff in the paper and the State came in and we made some changes and slowing but progressively -- we worked and Central Elementary - where I spent 23 years of my teaching career -- moved UP the scale and even was an "A" school -- several times!!   It wasn't just me...It was Teri, Rachel, Anna, Vanessa, Wendy, Kelly, Lisa,  Cathie, Judy, Alisha, Alisha, Lord, Vicki, Jane, Luz, Janelle, Debbie and so many more......  About 5 years ago, the Florida DOE changed the FCAT Writes to ELA Writing Assessment and now students are assessed on their writing in Grades 4-10.

Anyway -- I started this blog speaking about my students  - my 30 students took their recent assessment almost two weeks ago.  The probably don't remember what they read about nor what they wrote about.  They are not to speak about it, as it is a secure test -- but each of our students did their best -- you could see it as they read and reread and then planned and wrote!   Now -- as they are scored, we will get scores as to "how" they did and yet we won't see that paper, but just get a score.

I felt an immediate release of STRESS the day after that assessment.  As if all the students do well or better than the previous year, I will get some accolades... but if they don't.... who gets blamed?   Me?
Not really, but it is considered.  Truly I believe a person's writing ability is connected with their reading ability  and their home, their environment, and their 'love' to express.  I prayed over their pencils, I prayed over their desks that morning, and I made sure that all of them had a note of encouragement to read when they walked in the door!   Now, I also prayed that each child would understand their worth DOES NOT come from a test score ....but from their IDENTITY in HIM!

Anyway, as I wrap this up -- a BIG thank you to the parents who did their TOP Secret assignments!   I wish I could of recorded some of the expressions and comments when they opened Your letter and smiled!  To all the K-4th grade teachers that taught each one of my current 5th graders -- thank you.  Your influence in them was apparent!  to the students - thank you for honoring what we had practiced and practiced.  I saw you "thieving"  and I saw you read, plan, write, and several went back to revise. yeah!!   Amen.  I have no idea of WHAT you wrote as I am not allowed to read them but as I walked around, I watched you work and work your best!!   Thanks.  To all the other writing teachers out there that are probably reviewing a little extra math in that writing time as in 3 weeks we will be doing the same thing - testing but with another subject!!  But thank you -- for doing YOUR best to prepare Your students for this BIG assessment.  I pray your self - worth does not come from your test scores but from HIM.   I pray that as we wrap up the last 55+ days -- that writing will be a pleasure for you and your students!

And Lord, thank you for this gift of writing -- it helps me so - I pray this blog helps another.


...and THEN the Lord speaks.

Last week - Tuesday to be exact, I blogged.
I was angry.
 Righteous anger?   Maybe....
I blogged because  I was so upset,  angry,  and just disheartened by the behavior of some.  But I prayed and wrote out my frustrations and sought forgiveness.  Since has happened.  The week PRIOR to Spring Break happened and I lost my cool a few times with my students and counted the hours until Spring Break.


Yesterday at church during my worship time with the Father and then while I was searching the scriptures while my Pastor preached -- I happened upon something....  the Work of the Holy Spirit in chapter 16 of John.  My Pastor lead us to John 16.33 -- But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.  He will not speak on his own: he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. 

Vs. 14.  He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you.  

Vs. 15.  All that belongs to the Father is mine.  That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you.  

And then, I hear God remind me - "Chell you must show love.... you won't catch them with anger or telling them of WHAT could happen in hell...".  

I reminded God that I did know that -- and asked for His forgiveness as I am human and is it not funny how we can forget something VERY simple???      ---- cause we get too busy or get too caught up, or we allow that anger to spill over a little too much ---

It was a very surreal moment.  I knew that I knew - He was speaking to me.
God was.  HS was making it known!

Vs. 16.8 says, When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgement; 

It is the job of the Holy Spirit - not Michelle.

The Holy Spirit will expose sin and unbelief in order to awaken in an individual a consciousness of guilt and a need for forgiveness.  

 The Holy Spirit will expose sin and unbelief in order to awaken in an individual a consciousness of guilt and a need for forgiveness.  

The Holy Spirit will expose sin and unbelief in order to awaken in an individual a consciousness of guilt and a need for forgiveness.  

Conviction also makes clear the tragic results of rejecting Christ and persisting in sin.

  Which means I DON'T have to -- such peace and relief.   So often we feel it is our responsibility.  I am going to have to relearn this over and over until I truly believe it -- I am praying THIS was the LAST time I have to learn this the 'hard' way.  

 Then that person must make a choice about Christ.  The hope is that this leads to true repentance and a turning to Jesus as Savior and Lord!!  

The Holy Spirit also works in Righteousness.    The Spirit convinces the spirit of a person that Jesus is the Son of God who came and showed the right way to God.  He reveals that a right relationship with God does not depend on our own good works or efforts, but on Christ's death on the cross for our sins.

 If we accept his forgiveness and turn over the rule of our lives to him, his Spirit will empower us to do what is right by God's standards and to overcome the ungodly ways and temptations of the world.  ( Acts 3: 12-16; Acts 7: 51-60 and 1 Peter 3:18)

And the Holy Spirit comes for Judgement.  The HS convinces people of Satan's defeat, which Christ secured and guaranteed by his death on the cross for our sin.  The HS also makes people aware of God's present judgement of the entire human race, including each individual's personal accountability to God.   ( Matthew 16.27; Acts 17: 31; Acts 24: 25; Romans 14:10; 1 Co 6.2; 2 Co 5:10; and Jude 1:14)

The Holy Spirit's work is not only directed at those who do not know Jesus, but to us as well - who do!  He will help us develop Christ Like behavior!

Again, it is the Holy Spirit's job - not mine.  

I felt an immediate release and felt 'better' the moment I posted last week's blog, but Sunday was a greater peace and a BETTER better -- when truly the actions of another is NOT the responsibility  of the prayer warrior!   It has been released again!  And I have not taken it back - I will pray and intercede - always, but I won't try and intercede hoping that the one I am angry with will cross my path so "I can set him or her straight".

It is like Natalie Grant's song.."when did forget that you've always been THE King of the World?"  A very good song to sing and pray -- "when did I forget that you've always been THE King of the World...? " 

And then....the Lord gives me another illustration.  

I was packing this weekend, getting ready to move again.  And last night I went through a tub of cards, pictures, addresses just STUFF I had saved for the past 29 years.  I had copies of Christmas letters from 2001 - back to 1995.  Those I saved - going to read again later, but my 40th birthday cards and my 50th birthday cards and the ones in-between ( unless there was a really sweet note in it) went to File 13 as my Mom would call it -- the GARBAGE.  It was so sweet to see how many of my nieces and nephews have grown in those Christmas Cards but also the friends and neighbors and then I happened upon a copy of a letter/card I sent to a person.  Why did I make a copy of it?  Cause it included a story about a very young Hunter...our son.  It was after prayer time and he was questioning hell and heaven.  This was after 911, but indeed he must of been 6 or 7.  It referenced some family but his concern for one particular  person had him troubled.  So, I sent this person that card and told the story.  Reading it now -- I was appalled at the arrogance of me -- -

This was prior to my own awakening with Jesus and the Religious Spirit in me was alive and well - and even thought I "felt" I was doing the RIGHT thing -- I was not showing love ...I was judging.

Ouch.  I am SO thankful that this person and I are in a very good place.  But, when I see this person again, I am just going to ask him/her once more -- "please forgive me" -- and know, that indeed -- LOVE is what we lead first with.

Again, in my defense.....I know my heart at the time  -- REALLY felt like I was doing the right thing, but Praise God -- God extended me grace and mercy -- as I now realize it -- I SO desperately needed it as well!!     Praise God - He knows the beginning and the end........

So today is Monday -- 

My prayers are different today, gone is that anger and hopelessness but refreshed is the belief that indeed the Lord is at work .

Lord,  You will Win!

I am going to wrap this up with John 17: 20-26.  The prayers Jesus stated in Chapter 17 of John are pretty awesome -- and then Chapter 18 speaks about His arrest.   Timing.   Jesus is praying for ALL Believers:

2“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23 I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. 24 Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. 25 O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. 26 I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” Amen...

So, Lord -- I will believe that You will win.  
I pray Lord, this blog post was "just" not for me -- that one will read this and glimmer hope but also they may release a loved one or estranged husband who they have been desperately in prayer for and thinking it was THEIR job to convict  -- Lead them Lord, Guide, them.... hear their hearts cry.   Lord, Your Son Prayed that we would be ONE....that all those I have judged in the past - be one with You.  And Lord, that I don't allow that religious spirit back -- in Jesus name. - Amen.  

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

What to do when you are SO mad and hurt at the same time? You seek His Word!

  I will preface this with the fact - I am angry.  It is ok to be angry but we are not to sin in our anger.  I am.  I just am.  I am not sinning but I am angry!  I am very aware of the fine line between them!   I even posted a post on another person's FB page.  I posted some scripture -- that to me --  it put 'him' in his place.  And within 3-4 minutes, my heart was hurting.  I could clearly hear, "my word is not for your use to hurt another".  But the thing was, I KNEW THAT even before I posted it.  But I was SO angry.  
I was angry at "him".  He has made choices that are not of God's will.  How do I know?   It is very obvious.  I have prayed for him -- watched him through two different relationships and prayed everything from, "Lord, help him to Lord, hurt him".  It is very apparent that I am NOT God and I can't dictate nor manipulate God -- but it hurts.   I wanted to WIN on this one.  I wanted to SEE he fall into repentance and make stuff right.   

This is not the first time I have felt this ANGER for another -- it is just very real and raw tonight.  I am still praying for a miracle -- I am praying a marriage can be saved -- but as I have released this marriage to Him over and over -- I will trust that no matter what, the wife who has been faithful and has waited will indeed received the favor of God!   
I was reminded by my sweet husband that I can't get attached and emotional with every couple I pray with -- but some I do.  Some sweet women come and ask me to pray and their situation is very similar to min and yet it is their own story -- but I pray they will see HOPE in our story.  As I searched the internet over and over and read blog and story after story of 'SUCCESS' when a couple defiled the odds and FOUGHT the enemy and SOUGHT God and won!  
Anyway - enough.  Just writing and reading scripture -- I "feel" better.   But I am also hurting and heartbroken for a wife who believed and believed that a miracle would transpire.   It seems though he will file for divorce and he will one day stand before God and 'justify' why and what.  
I have thought over and over today about how the enemy attacks -- he attacks where he knows there is a weakness.  So often the breakup of a marriage is really a side- effect of childhood hurts that were never exposed and resolved.   I believe the enemy has convinced the wayward partner that "it will be better with a new person".  And I believe with all of my heart that God does change people - but people have to WANT to be changed.  I do believe that if we continue to deny God and ignore His Spirit - we become VERY hard and we miss a lot.  I believe we miss the hand of God giving us favor.  It may certainly "seem" like the life of this wayward partner is better going forward, but I have seen it - sadly - TOO many times where the one who pushed to leave -- regrets!   God will justify.  God will redeem.  God will judge.   
Ok -- enough said.  The Lord knew I wanted to blog and I knew what I needed to do -- just to share my prayer and His Word.  Forgive me if this got too personal -- and I have prayed that IF I see this one wayward person within the next few days -- I pray that I will show love, cause right now, I just want to settle the matter with my own words and my own hands.  But, I submit to God - and know that He is just as disappointed and that God loves him more than any of us ever could -- but I just pray that maybe...just maybe..... a miracle is still right around the corner!   
Psalm 5
1Listen to my words, Lord,
consider my lament.
2Hear my cry for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.  Lord, my heart aches as I want help to try and understand this present situation but also, my heart aches for a wife that has fought hard and from the outside world -- it appears she lost.  
3In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly.  Lord, you know the exact number of prayers,  fasts,  and discussions that involved this sweet wife that wanted her marriage.  Your know the prayers  for her children and his children.  You know  - my heart hurts this eve and You know exactly what each one is thinking and doing this eve -- Lord, I pray you confort her and I pray he can't sleep -- I just do. 
4For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness;
with you, evil people are not welcome.   Lord, to me this verse if very clear -- there will be consequences - period. 
5The arrogant cannot stand
in your presence.
You hate all who do wrong;
6you destroy those who tell lies.
The bloodthirsty and deceitful
you, Lord, detest.  Lord, I admit - forgive me -- I believe he is arrogant.   I believe he is arrogant in doing his will rather than Your will.  Lord, he may not be blood thirsty -- but it certainly seems the enemy is blood thirsty -- it seems he wants to destroy this family and this marriage.  And Lord, the lies that have been told and not told -- Lord, it certainly seems like  he is getting away with being deceitful and  arrogant. 
7But I, by your great love,
can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down
toward your holy temple. Lord, symbolically -- my am bowing down.  I know I have allowed this situation to eat at me all day  and that is not good.  As I release it to You again and I pray that indeed, I will have pity on him and that I would show him love when he is around me.  Lord I pray that both would bow down -- and humble themselves and pray for each other rather than pray to 'be released'. 
8Lead me, Lord, in your righteousness
because of my enemies—
make your way straight before me.  Lord, I have felt righteous anger today but I am afraid I have become somewhat self-righteous as well.  Lord -- I need YOU to take away this hurt that I feel for the wife who has prayed and forgave -- and I give this 'win' back to you.  You are right -- I wanted the marriage to win.  But I know -- that You can bring beauty out of any ashes.   You know Lord when he will finally submit and seek You -- and perhaps you are going to use this divorce to bring forth more healing.  I release him and her -- and I will trust You. 
9Not a word from their mouth can be trusted;
their heart is filled with malice.
Their throat is an open grave;
with their tongues they tell lies.
10Declare them guilty, O God!
Let their intrigues be their downfall.
Banish them for their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you. Lord, I asked you to help TAKE it and even as I read verses 9-10, I already feel a release.  As verses 9-10 continue with the 'bad'....I know You will declare the guilty guilty.    Lord, you know it is NOT only this one couple I am blogging 'for'.  You know there are several marriages my husband and I have prayed for and continue to hold in prayer.   Lord, You also know there are ones that will read this -- as they may be in the  exact spot I am -- angry over something, I pray they would release it.  Lord, I also pray for the ones who have NO clue that a crisis of faith is just around the corner because of another's actions or their own.  Lord, be their everything. 
11But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.   That is me Lord, that is the wife that will most likely sign the divorce papers tomorrow unless a miracle happens.  Spread your protection over this other marriage - where the husband still continues to believe the is "nothing" wrong and yet his wife is dying of loneliness,  hurt, and unmet expecatations. 
Spread Your protection over the children in these marriages - as some are small, others are teens, and even others are grown adults and yet -- they will suffer consequences when a divorce happens.  Lord, that EACH of them would REJOICE in You!  
12Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous;
you surround them with your favor as with a shield. Lord, I am holding onto this promise -- that you will surround them - each of them with Your favor as with a shield.  Lord, I pray for another wife who is still waiting on her husband to fall in love with Your Son.  Lord, I pray for the many unsaved ones , very close ....
I Pray for the many deceived ones, very close.....
I pray for the ones who want to just give up....
I pray for those prodical sons/husbands -- that indeed they would have that 'eating the slop' experience and TURN from their own will and submit to God's perfect will for their lives.  
Lord, HOLD that special someone this eve.  Lord, hold her -- hold anyone reading this who needs a reminder that they are indeed LOVED.  Loved so much, You died for her!   
Lord, forgive me, if in my anger, I used Your word to discipline another -- I will trust You and know that You are indeed fighting for me.  And for those who are listed in this prayer blog -- know that GOD will restore everything the locust took.   Don't give up!  

Good night!   

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Am I saved?

"If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" Romans 10.9

Are you saved? 

Have you heard someone say ? "I hope so." " I hope I am good enough." 
 Some people think, "well, I have not killed anyone or committed adultery".
And others think, I have prayed, gone to church and been good . . . . .

Anyway, some people have believed a lie. That we must 'earn' our way there or 'do stuff' '.
We could never be good enough to earn it and we will never be good enough to get in. That is why Jesus gave HIS life . . HE paid that price. Praise God. 

So many are trying to earn what they already have. And it is the lie of performance-based acceptance that keeps woman and men -- bound.

The word 'saved' has been tossed about so much -- it may of lost its wonder and mystery. The word salvation is used five times in Romans and the verb form, saved, occurs eight. It means, "deliverance" or "rescue".

From Sharon Jaynes . . Through Jeus Christ we are saved from lostness ( matt 18.11), the wrath of God (romans 5.9), the penalty of sin, the realm of darkness ( colossians 1.13), eternal separation from God, and eternal punishment in hell( rev 20.6) . WE are saved from the penalty of sin the moment we believe. WE are being saved from the power of sin as we continue to live on this earth and become more and more confirmed to the image of Christ. And we will be saved from the presence of sin when we leave this earthly body to spend eternity with God.

Am I saved?

Yes I am . . .I know that I know, my name is written there -- cause I am now considered a saint in HIS eyes .. . my sins . even future ones .are forgiven because HIS blood washed them away. Never to be remembered. ... that is a concept that one can have a hard time believing.

Thank you Lord.

But --

Is the one who habitually sins over and over saved?  
Is the one that has denied God buy once claimed his miracles saved?  
Is the one who deny's what God has asked him to do saved?  
Can you lose your salvation?  
Do you have free  will to walk away from God?  
Can you deny Jesus?

Or perhaps even though you walked an aside -- did you really become born again?  Did behaviors change?  Was there fruit from You as You continued to grow?

BIG questions -- BIG thoughts.  This is my opinion -- when my husband and I were separated  -- I did pray for his salvation .  You see, I DID believe that he had to of hardened his heart THAT much -- that could be the ONLY way he would hurt his family and me THIS bad.

I had seen him walk with God - but in the years building up to the crisis of faith -- I had watched a man walk away from God and question God.  I watched and witnessed a man who used to pray and read his bible before be -- now it had dust on it on the night stand.  I watched a man who would listen to Christian music with me - turn and put hard rock n roll on and jam out to songs that would not let my teenager listen to.

But I also knew a woman who had idols and unforgiveness and such a religious spirit that I also believe that I could of had a very hard heart!!  

So, in my thoughts and in my opinion -- he 'must have' hardened his heart towards  God and me.  In fact, I heard God impress that to me, "he can't love you until he loves me".

So tonight -- of you are praying for a husband or loved one that seems to have a hard heart -- just seek God.  I won't debate the notion of eternal security but there is SO much in the bible where I read -- "if you remain in me".   "If"....

I know NO one can take me out of my Father's hand -- but I do believe I have free will  -- free will to deny my Lord.

It is a thought --    my father -n - law always says, "let's not major in minors"....the point is -- does your life show the fruit of Spirit?   Do the ones around you know that they know -- Your name is in the Lamb's Book of Life?  

Let's pray --

Lord, this blog was an EXTRA one today -- May it be used by You -- and I pray for that one who totally hurt another today -- may this couple each seek You and Your will be done!  In Jesus name - Amen.

Bold Prayers for a marriage -- II.

 I was greeted today with a text and post from a prayer warrior who questioned me on something.  It hit a nerve.  Marriage is God's plan.  It is to be a covenant.  And when one walks away -- and claims to be listening to Christ.....there should be some sort of peace about that decision.   To me, if Christ really 'released' you from the marriage -- then there would be peace and there would be some understanding.   When one of the partners just walks away and justifies why he or she is leaving and then...... begins another relationship with someone  else ....THIS hits a nerve!  

Big nerve.  Big.  This is VERY very VERY hard.  I want to encourage the  one that is desperately still seeking God's will to HOLD on and yet, how can I tell her to do that when pictures are posted on FB of the 'moving on'.    How can I look in her eyes and ask her to wait just a little longer while her heart is being torn up.  Rejection is so very hard to get beyond.  And yet, I have this feeling that the one who walked away is probably suffering from rejection -- way back in his early childhood.  Or perhaps his perception of love and 'what' it looks like and how it behaves is already misconstrued.   I know that God will indeed - "not be mocked".  God's precepts, God's directions and instructions to live like Christ will be judged - eventually.    I totally believe this 'new' relationship won't last or work -- but indeed -- it hurts!  It does not seem fair.     

So I prayed.  I prayed the post would be taken  down.  I prayed the photos would not cause more pain and I prayed that God would totally release the one who is still praying for a miracle.  But I also prayed that the one -- who seems to be MOVING on.... would hurt today.  I did.  I said it.  It is NOT fair.  No!  And it is not very Christlike to pray that he is hurting -- but I am human.  This hurts.   But, I know that Jesus died for that one  that is justifying his behavior as well as me or his wife.  And, I believe God is good and that He is fighting for my dear sweet sister in Christ  who is praying -- probably even as she reads this blog, that You God would move or move her.   So,  I sat down to write and THIS blog.  A year ago I wrote the following prayers -- because of several situations  around me back then and today, I knew I had to get on my knees and pray again and pray more!   As this HIT a nerve.  

Married men are married men.  Period.  There -- I said it.  Married men should not be on date nights with the new person -- if they are not divorced.  Married men should not be on date nights and grant permission for photos to be posted when indeed -- he knows -- she will see them.  Satan -- I won't sit back -- this is wrong. 

And, I went to a beautiful wedding today.  Young love.   A man pledging his love for his bride, to have and to hold,  until death do they  part.  It was a beautiful wedding - on the water.  It was so sweet seeing old friends and acquaintances.  It was beautiful to see the two families interact and it was just precious to listen to one brother, the best man, give a speech and toast that made us all  by laugh but also reminded us that marriage is God's orchestraed plan.  Lord, for this newlywed couple -- Lord, may they both seek you and realize that with you -- that is the ONLY way to find true happiness.  Lord, as the matron of honor stated - blessings all over their union and each of them.  Lord, that this couple won't fall into the trap of the enemy!   


Lord God....I am asking you  again today to speak to each of the wives and husbands that are on my mind....that may read this blog prayer, and for myself Lord, please forgive me.  My flesh  has taken over a bit -- as I am mad at the enemy.   But You Lord -- will win!  

Lord God, I pray that we will ALL be still to hear your voice and allow YOU to fill our hearts with life and peace.

Lord, I pray that you would give each and every person involved the Spirit of Wisdom and revelation so that each one knows You better.  

Lord, I pray that as You placed the stars in the heavens each person represented in these prayers would totally seek You and place their own needs aside and know that they are in this marriage for the other -- not for themselves.  

Lord, I pray for the one who has been waiting for over a year -- waiting on the one in her home to seek You and realize that his actions are not in Your will.  

Lord, I pray for the one who thinks that it is ok to move on - when the marriage ordained by You is still here.  Lord, for that one - would he see that his actions are not in Your will?  

Lord God, may you be first...not our marriage...not our problems...not our heartache...but YOU -

Lord God, I pray that YOU are at the center - period. 

Lord God, may we worship you and not our spouses or problems...Lord, that we would trust that YOU have each of our husbands and that You will not be mocked and You will discipline in Your timing.  

Lord God, I know you desire to walk with me -- but too often we are too busy to listen and walk slowly with you - God, I pray for each one that reads this today -- that they will make a point of walking slower and listening more intently....

Lord God, I pray that each person within their  marriage will submit wholeheartedly to YOU the Lord - the living God.

Lord God - that each of these people....individually will put YOU first and make YOU their first love....and submit to You and your lead and that YOU may be their highest priority. Then I pray the other half NOTICES this change and this devotion to You and in turn -- it will give him or her HOPE!  

Lord, for the ones who are believing the lies ...that this marriage is over or that it can't be saved..... Lord, I bind the lies of the enemy and send them to the abyss  as THIS is not your Will -- and I want Your Will to be DONE!  

Lord God, as these couples work on issues....speak to each other.....and move forward...and as a few of them learn that YOU can redeem them....I pray peace and joy over their circumstance...may they find you in the quietness of their thoughts -- and may they STAY there.

Lord God, I pray they will put You first - amen.  

  Lord, there is a lost one - living on the streets  this eve, or perhaps he has found a couch to crash on -- I pray that his needs  not be provided and that he would be SO miserable that she wants  him to finally come fully to you and not neglect YOUR call on his life .   Lord, as then he will see -- Lord, that he would SEE! 

Lord, there is another still wondering and hurting and she believes she  knows You Lord, but she has hardened her heart -- 

Lord for the church body -- that we carefully LOOK at ourselves in the mirror and do some serious inventory ...."do people want what I have?".  Lord, are we being kind and being Jesus to others?  

Lord, is there purity?  Lord, do they believe they have power?  

Lord, for the church body  -- moving forward.  

 Lord, that they would see WHERE  You are at work and join in.

In Jesus name, amen. 

This morning I was reminded that - GOD wins and HE has a great plan -- HE designed marriage and HE designed it well......HE fully wants everyone to enjoy the fruits and benefits of a healthy marriage - God my desire is that this  prayer will encourage just ONE couple -- to persist!