Does that seem like defeat? I don't think so -- this is life...real life....being real.
Tonight, I am dead tired but I can't sleep. My mind is racing -- tomorrow or later on TODAY, my husband and I will sign ourselves to a 30 year mortgage and buy our 2nd home. I am 51 - I know we will pay more on the mortgage than the minimal payment, but if we don't -- I will be 81 when I pay this off!! But hey, if the Lord calls for His Bride - what do I have to worry about?
For the past 6 1/2 years we have rented. 5 places now in 6 years. Each move was God orchestrated but I really did not believe it would take us almost 7 years to finally settle on our next home. We have already 'dubbed' this one - the REDEMPTION HOUSE.
The kids named one of our rentals, "the awkward house". Then came "the healing house". Then we had the "green house" and then our "cottage". The names all sort of represented our lives and the atmosphere of a marriage. The ironic thing is -- where we are now purchasing -- we really are buying a cottage - at the Lake! We were in the plans of building -- I still must pay the architect -- and in a few years, if the Lord tarries, I believe we will build that dream home, but for now - home ownership consists of a 2 bedroom 2 story cottage literally AT the Lake! And we are tickled and elated at the mercy and grace of God.
In trying to get some new praise and worship music on my phone, I came across a new album by Mercy Me - "Lifer". The first few songs on this album are powerful. "Even If" was my life at a point and I found myself singing it over and over and over and over just the other day -- and it ministered to me.
There is another one too by Sidewalk Prophets called , "this Hope" -- again -- God can minister to us, heal us, comfort us -- all while we worship. Back to the song, "Even If"....
There is a line " God when you choose to leave mountains unmovable -- Give me the strength to be able to sing, it is WELL WITH MY SOUL".
As I type, I can hear the melody over and over in my brain. As I converse with God and pray I am reminded of Psalm 57.2.
Psm 57:2 says...I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills HIS purpose for me.
There has been purpose to the past 7 years.
There has been purpose for each move and each house.
We praise God for this new home, on the water, and as we prayed this evening -- the mortgage officer needed ONE more form emailed and e signed. And then another email alerted us to a slight problem, so we called on Jesus and put it ALL back in HIS lap! My momma always told me to be careful and "not count your chickens before they hatch" and writing this blog and stating this house will be our home before we actually sign the dotted line may indeed be counting my chickens - but I believe with all of my heart that God is faithful and there has been WAY too many moments of, "that was God" to think this won't happen later today ! But, as we prayed - we prayed and thanked God but also knew that EVEN if the sale did not go through today - we would be WELL in our SOULS!
I also thought of this......
And Psalm 55: vs. 22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you..he will never let the righteous fall.
Almost 7 years ago -- May 1st to be exact -- my house fell apart. Long story - read other blogs but I find it so sweet of God that He is working this out. That we will be able to spend May 1st, 2017 -- 7 years later after the brokenness ----
---------that we will be enjoying the REDEMPTION House and God's redemption- God wins!
7 is God's perfect number. Completion! And we sign on the 28th day of the month --
28 has many biblical meanings. I did some research and was fascinated with what is listed 28x in the bible and where it falls. Often 28 is in connection with 4 sevens.
But what made me smile the most was the connection of 28 meaning eternal life and the leading of the Holy Spirit. BOTH really awesome thoughts. BOTH I receive. I am not an alarmist nor is this blog about the end times - but often both my husband and I speak and think -- will the rapture come before this purchase or after? Will we really have to make payments for 15 years or will God call us home? ......eternal?? Our eternal home? !!!!!
But as I sit and try to type and think -- I go back to the song by Mercy Me. " God when you choose to leave mountains unmovable -- Give me the strength to be able to sing, it is WELL WITH MY SOUL".
And I think back to that fateful May 1st of 2010 and then the life afterwards -- was I able to sing, "it is well with my soul?". I wasn't able to that night or awhile after that fateful day -- but eventually with God's grace, mercy, and extended arms holding me I began to walk differently and eventually I could say, "it was WELL with my SOUL".
I am able to SING that now!!
I was a woman with defeat, hurt, and I did not have the freedom that Christ intended for me and getting that finally - was a miracle!
My marriage is living proof...that God restores.
My man is a living proof of God's grace, favor, and restoration.
My new home is living proof that God does give us the desires of our hearts.
Both Bren and I know and acknowledge that God did this. We had been praying about this particular home since last September!
To see something come back to life....that was literally dead...that is a miracle...living proof of HIS power and majesty. I have seen that!
I have seen so much, experienced so much in the past six and a half years ....I am humbled.
The end of Psalm 55 says -- But as for me, I trust in you.
There is a wife, a woman trying to SING it is WELL when it does seem that God has not moved the unmovable mountain -- but I pray she can still SING, "it is well in my soul?". I pray she can!
There is another, sitting with some unbearable mouth pain and her adult daughter seems to be the unmovable mountain and I pray she will continue to believe - it is WELL in her SOUL.
|color choices.... FUN!|
Lord, I trust in you.
When I finally did trust You...so many things changed, but it was a process.
There is another who has seen some victory within her circle and within her marriage but SO much more is needed -- I pray -- she will be patient and stay focused on God so that she can also SING, "it is well in my soul".
Tonight, as I think about tomorrow ( later today ) I just praise God that indeed we have come full circle. I believe God orchestrated the date of sale, the delay and even the pleasure of the past month in getting ready for this move. The night my house 'fell' seven years ago, the Lord gave me a vision. It held me. Some sixteen months after that, when we sold our first home of 18 years and moved to our first rental I heard God say to me, "Bren will rebuild the home".
Within a week of that, he went to an architect and began to get plans. We were in such an awkward state that I did not question - ANYTHING he did and as each time he returned home from the architect, I would just smile and pray -- as I had to believe. We never were able to get serious about that building -- there have been MANY detours, bills, and kids college funds and other stuff that dictated our funds for some time, but we are finally in a SPOT to get most bang for our buck!
But as I thank God, in this past month, my man has taken me furniture shopping and even proved unbelievable when he joined me at a Home Goods store--- which was WAY out of his element. To me, that alone, is a miracle!! WE both are so excited to be homeowners and no longer renters -- and as I see it, my husband is rebuilding the home. I have seen God use him to restore relationships between our kids and him. I have seen a man provide. I have see something that was dead come alive.
In singing that song from Mercy Me - "EVEN IF" and then hitting the fast forward button to the next song on the album I discovered another song --
It is called, "WE WIN". Oh my Lort.... Yes -- WE win. God won. God wins. I literally just heard it and it will take me a few days to memorize the lyrics but there will be another blog about that -- as the tears rolled down my eyes and I danced before Him in my little 'cottage' now -- I knew there would be new dance parties at our new place! And I thought of the women I am interceding for right now and I want to encourage them -- God will win. And.... your marriage MAY not be dead yet -- hold on! And I thought of the precious loved one that is on my heart - who needs Jesus dearly ....and I claimed - "she will win!". Lord, "her story is not over!". And I just marveled again at HOW this life -- is indeed about our eternal home but in the mean time, I will enjoy my little Red Cottage at the Lake, Our Redemption House, our next place!
God you are SO stinking sweet and I am humbled. May everyone that enters our new place see and KNOW that You are Lord. Lord for Martha today -- I totally believe You orchestrated our meeting and may we always stay in touch with her. ( She is selling us her home.) Lord, thank you for the landlords we have been blessed with -- especially one that I am most fond of -- a brother in law - bless him and his family Lord. And Lord, may this blog bring you glory --
- may this blog bring HOPE for the one reading and encourage those specifically that I am writing about, as they knew who they are.
Lord, until You write through me again -- use this Lord - YOU win!
- humbled, Michelle