Friday, June 19, 2015

It is FATHER's Day weekend --

I have to stop and think about the Father's that are in prayer and tears over their loved ones in Charleston this evening ---  Heavenly Father, may YOUR glory shine in each and every news story that is broadcasted....may the Believers within that community express their pain and show love -- as this is indeed a time for Your people  to show the world --- WHO You are Lord --

I have to stop and think about the Father's that have missing daughters -- due to drugs, trafficking, or just missing --Lord comfort --

I stop and think about the many men who are mourning a loss of a daughter on this eve --

I stop and think about all the new dads that will get the 'perfect' first Father's day card and gift from their precious newborn --- Lord, bless that young mother -- 

I stop to think. 

Father's Day was created by a greeting card company---
Did the people at Hallmark really understand what this day could entail?

First - My dad --
Pure and simple - this guy is responsible.    My mom says I have his memory and temper.  He taught me how to Polka and as a young kid, I got to work in the cloak room at the Dance Hall  while he tended bar upstairs at Turner Hall -- and boy did I LOVE to do that.  I have tried to learn to whistle like him, I appreciate music like he does, and my work ethic is his -- as I can still hear the words, "don't do a half _ _ _ job".    He could scare the crud out of us on summer nights, but he could also cause each of us to get in such a frenzy that we wanted - OUT! 

But seriously, as he has lived 20+ years longer than I have -
I admire his discipline  and his way to making you feel welcome - always.  Memories of haying, unloading bales, moving heifers from inside the barn to the outside, and repairing fence are just a few of the memories.  Stopping along the road side to grab/pull  a  HUGE hand full of fresh English Peas from the canning factory  and place them in the trunk of the car and then SIT and eat them -- now that was indeed heaven.  Running around Grandpa's farm while he milked was a 6 year old's imagination extravaganza.    And being kept home from school to drive tractor -was a learning experience.  However -- I lived. 

Dad, thank you for being the BEST day - my dad.  Happy Father's Day. 

Lord, protect him - bless him in a way like none other  this Father's Day weekend as we celebrate his marriage to my mom for 50 years and I pray that as the years now pass, I get to see more of him and get to relearn this 'new guy' that overtaken my dad's body.  LOL.  The dad I grew up with would never let a young toddler get sticky syrup all over his pants....and each time I see that now - I ask myself, "who is this man?".   Lord, be his right hand, may he run to you in each and every way - amen. 

My Second Dad --
He drove me on my 'first' date with his son.  He provided a prayer journal /binder for Brendan and I the night before we got married and began to explain how to fill it in.  He also tried to show us how to budget that night as well.  He has taught me much -- and treated me like his own --- I will be forever grateful for the spiritual blessings he bestowed.  I know that I know, he prays for me daily and in the hardest of times,  he was still a man with a wise word. 

He too has lived 20+ more years than I have and he has made me quite mad here or there too - I have never stopped to pick English Peas with him, but I have antiqued with him, played a mean game of PIT with him, and I have enjoyed our many chats about scripture and the life of Jesus. 

Lord, protect him - bless him in a way like none other  this Father's Day weekend and as we celebrate his 75th year later this summer.  As he continues to work and steer the Insurance office, bring him wisdom and so forth.  As he continues to lead at church, may the will of God always be done.  Bless him in a mighty way this weekend and I thank him personally for being a father to my husband, as that legacy is being handed down now to my children  - amen

My Children's Dad --

Lord, thank you for this man -- that has been and continues to pray for our children and he protects them with YOUR words.  Lord, I thank you for setting the captives free and for redeeming and restoring a father to their children.  Lord, I thank you that as Brendan continues to mentor Hunter -- that he will be a father that indeed -- is looked up to and esteemed by his children.  And Lord, I pray that the man our daughter chooses -- is a man that will be the perfect father to my grand kids -- may this legacy of faith, love, and mercy continue within this line ---  
May there be NOTHING that implodes or stops YOUR will from being done Lord, and protect him - on this weekend, may my children truly love on him and appreciate him for what he has meant to them!  amen.

Lord for my brothers -- whom are all dads....God I pray that they will SEEK you in each and every decision and may their LOVE for you grow, that they want MORE of you then their children will that YOU purposed for their lives.  

Lord for my brothers-n-low -- whom are all dads...God I pray that they will SEEK you in each and every decision and may their LOVE for you grow as well - may they want more of you .  May Your anointing teach them...may they call upon the Holy Spirit to guide, comfort, and heal any hurts.  

Lord, for my Pastors ...and the men of our church that are dads - hurting dads -- new dads....and brother - n - laws, and dear friends -- God -- bless each of them - In Jesus Name - amen. 

And finally Lord -- for YOU -- THANK YOU for being the BEST daddy -- my Lord, and SAvior -- thank you for being the perfect dad - in all circumstances and occasions.  Thank you for being my Lord - amen. 

A message of HOPE - God's promises.

I found this today.  

HOPE is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives to us to control our fears, not to oust them.  - Vincent McNabb
Do not be afraid of your enemies: the LORD your God himself will fight for you!  Deuteronomy 3.22

My prayer time in the past month(s)  has been heightened .  I have had the humbled blessing of being a part of a retreat within  my Church and it refueled and refreshed my soul.  However, with the circle of influence around me and just this being a small town -- my prayer list gets FULL.   And...I am the oldest of 9 - with family everywhere!!   

I remind myself of what Lisa Bevere stated once on a DVD  video about prayer requests and praise GOD that I don't have to get caught up in the LIST but just release them all to HIM. 

( Side note, sometimes I am walking and praying and pretend I have a lasso and just corral them all up - in a symbolic motion and hog tie them to the foot of the cross!) 

My son has his new job - a  first real new job and he is in the process of trying to find a  house to rent with his soccer buddies  -- so, praying for the RIGHT lease has been towards the top of my list.    And my girl, hurt her back -- again, basking that one in prayer.   Our immediate needs like..."Lord, I have to .....or Lord....I need..... and just the simple ones like, GOD give me the WILL power to ignore dessert!!    Anyway, forgive me as I ramble ........

Back to HOPE.

  Sometimes our PRAYERS are tearful and HARD and we have a burden for one or some or a situation that needs a MOUNTAIN moved and you pray....and get discouraged that perhaps 'that' is not God's will...and yet, HE moves a bit of the mountain and then you think..."OK GOD...."   "next".......  

Prayer.  Prayer.  Prayer.  

When IN that dispair of a prayer -- where YOU want the mountain to be moved in such a manner that YOU can't SEE any other resource or plan ...... and yet, God says... WAIT....

God says....WAIT....

God is quiet....and says nothing, which means to me -- "what was the last thing I told you Michelle? "   WAIT...

OK  -- I will wait.  

And that is what I am doing -- but in that waiting - it is HARD.  And do I question my faith at times...
Yes?   Yes.  I do -- I am human.

I am unsure of the WHOM is reading this -- but God wants you to know -- it may 'look' like I have it all put together, but  it is only HIS GRACE that sustains me and the constant fevered pitch of a desperate prayer that I repeat -- "Lord, I need a bone here -- a bread crumb or a glimmer of HOPE ...a sign to let me know -- I am EXACTLY WHERE you want me and I am to NOT give up or give in...".  

And then I found this  -- My Son or My loved one -- beloved:

 -- keep your eyes on Me. I am with you, taking care of you in the best way possible. When you are suffering, My care may seem imperfect and inadequate. You see relief and I make you wait - but just remember, There are different ways to wait, and some are much better than others. Beneficial waiting involves looking to Me continually - trusting and loving Me.

Thank me in this time of neediness, when you must depend on Me more than usual, do not waste this opportunity by wishing it away or running from it. Don't let any past or present suffering contaminate your view of the future. I am the Lord of your future, and I have good things in store for you - one more thing --

HIS promises --

 The Lord is  good to those who wait for Him....and to the soul who seeks HIM - Lam 3.25

 But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength: they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.  --Isa 40.31

Romans 8.28 - We know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose  ....

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity , to give you a future and a hope.  Jer 29.11 

So, I have my two children in mind this am, but I also have a few certain people that as I write and continue to pray for them is only 'they' who can grab ahold of these promises and engrave them on their heart -- 'they' have to do it.  I pray they do today -- and know what I know -- GOD wins.

Which means....THEY will win too!


Tuesday, June 16, 2015

God exsists.......

God exists to bring glory to Himself.  If HE did not - then who or what would HE bring glory to? 

That statement stopped me in my thinking. 

God exists to bring glory to Himself. 

Do I exist to bring glory to HIM? 
Do I weigh and measure everything against that? 

Am I in alignment with that?  With HIM? 

The deepest place where we find meaning and satisfaction is where?  

In relationships? 
In our jobs? 
In the 'perfect functioning' of our stuff --??? 

This was a part of a devotional that I read today --  the devotional reminded me of how in all of Scripture, there are stories of the shadiest of characters and the MOST difficult circumstances and how HE made them powerful in HIS plan. 


In difficult seasons, in working and loving difficult people -- WORK out YOUR plan for YOUR purposes.  Lord, don't let my enemies get the best of me....or win.  Lord, forgive me of my sins in my past and present -- and Lord, do not let me be put to shame. ......

The devotional reminded me  -- our purpose is to POINT to HIM no matter where we are, what we are doing, or whom we are with. 

Am I? 

I know this -- I can ONLY 'accomplish' this through Christ Jesus and by the power of the Holy Spirit --

Acts 1.8  "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you.  And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere -- in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."   

Lord,  I have received Your Holy Spirit and He resides within me, I submit my flesh to you and I will be a witness telling all about YOU - everywhere -- through my actions, in my work place, within my home and especially in Judea.....and the other places you take me.  Lord, you know my heart is heavy today -- relieve it -- take this burden from me - take it to the end of the earth and move the mountain, as I know, YOU do that sort of stuff.  In Jesus name, amen.  

Psalm 4.1  Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God.  Give me relief from my distress: be merciful to me and hear my prayer.  

Isa. 41.10  Lord, help me not to fear, for YOU are with me: I need not be dismayed, for You are My God, You will strengthen me and help me: You will uphold me with Your righteous right hand.  


Sunday, June 14, 2015

The GREAT Escape --

If you follow my blog posts, you read a post the other day that I was disappointed...

I really was not disappointed, but rather just tired of waiting on God for a particular answer to some prayers. 

It really does not matter if you know exactly WHAT the prayer request /requests were about and if they were about a man, woman, or friend -- but I know, that when I followed a few blogs earnestly -- I read between the lines and sometimes the Holy Spirit gave me confirmation to what I was thinking and others times, the Holy Spirit reminded me -- knowing exactly the WHAT was NOT the point!  

So, with that -- never would I want anyone to second guess or worry too much about the 'Whom' but if the Holy Spirit tells you to pray for me or for the whatever -- by all means - Pray and THANK YOU!

I just wanted to make sure the Accuser does NOT use anything I say or post -- as ammunition for another to justify something -- period.  

Now -- for the good news. 

One of the reasons I have been in prayer--- one of the situations--- was a recent Retreat that was planned and executed this past week end.  It was called the GREAT Escape.  It was planned for leadership within my church body, but the Holy Spirit reminded me and it was opened to ANY woman of God that needed to escape. We had a full range of women - all ages and I believe, we are all leaders -- every last one of them!  

God knew EXACTLY who would attend, but for planning purposes and such -- HE did not exactly tell me and I had to walk in faith, pray, and not allow the enemy to encamp on my 'feelings'.  That was HARD.  I am just saying - it was hard.  As the planner in me...the first born in me....the fixer in me.......has strongholds  and well....God continues to remind me that HE is the stronghold I need.  

And, as I prayed this through and asked others to pray -- HE showed up, HE showed out, and HE took care of EVERY minor and BIG detail.  When I was unsure, I prayed and HE lead and it was well.  When I was unsure, I prayed or asked for prayer and HE lead and it went well.  When I was positive that something would happen, I prayed and sought HIM and guess what -- HE showed UP beyond what I could of expected.

Whether you are a leader or a future leader, it does not matter -- rest in HIM.  Focused time spent with HIM seeking  a good word with HIS Word,  being refreshed, refueled, and replenishing  the inner man -- --- were ALL goals of this retreat and they were accomplished.  Thank YOU Lord. 

 Per Beth Moore:  "The GREAT Escape is so GREAT, so great that ONLY God could accomplish it" and THAT is what transpired. 

 If you are reading this and are thinking -- 'shoot I missed it' did.  LOL  BUT, don't let the enemy get the best of you.  Contact me and we can have lunch, I can probably let you borrow the teaching stuff and you can get with God and escape too.

 If you are reading this and are thinking ---'I did not know'.....I am telling you that I know we will have a retreat like this again next year or maybe this winter if the Holy Spirit leads and you can watch and be a part of it next time!  ( Just contact me)  

Again -- The GREAT Escape is so GREAT, so great that ONLY God could accomplish it! 

In church this am, one of my pastor's asked us all to stop and pray as he read out of Isa. 35-- he felt the Lord, was impressing upon him to remind everyone that this 'season' of a dry spell can be over -- to seek God and stand with him and pray. 

I actually sat -- as I was dry season had been refreshed and replaced with joy and hope but as I could feel everyone around me stand, I could hear the HS quickly remind me to stand the rest of them did NOT get a retreat and did not have the refreshing time like I did but that I should still always seek prayer for a refreshing -- AMEN!    

Back to the last blog, as my heart and head diagnosed in prayer -- the Holy Spirit spoke volumes to me this weekend and gave me new hope and a word to continue to pray and believe.  He also showed me that I am in a holding pattern and waiting season and I must wait on God to make the next move.  Peace.  Amen. 

So, the Great Escape was a week end of fellowship, conversations, testimonies, and great teaching and learning.  ( future blogs to follow about Positive Words!)  And I want to share this:  

Psalm 124: 1-8 
 If it has not been the LORD who was on our side --- let Israel now say -- If it has not been the LORD who was on our side when people rose up against us, then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us: then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us;  then over us would have gone the raging waters.  Blessed be the LORD< who has not given us as prey to their teeth!  We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we have escaped!  Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

Beth's main teaching points were:  

1.  God's will for my life -- has a slick and deceptive counterfeit.  ( Satan is the accuser! )
The devil is REAL.    If you don't acknowledge that the enemy is doing anything and everything to KILL you -- you are like a  bird - trapped in a cage.

2.   A trap is ANY place where we are captive to the enemy's will.  ( We can be God's people and STILL be used by the enemy's will. )   We can be of GREAT use to the enemy when we are held captive ....  Don't you wish to be set free?

3.  Satan will settle for our USELESSNESS...but he prefers to put us to use.  (Satan is the GREAT accuser and when he uses us to accuse the body -- or another....we are being used!) 

4.  We are great use to the Accuser when we assit with accusation. ( A future blog about this point:  the difference between the accusation and confrontation)
Accusation is behind the back.... Confrontation is face to face!
Accusation fights against ...Confrontation fights for!
Accusing is counterfeit for authority!

Accusing FEELS good when WE feel bad!!!!!    ( OH my - this one HURT....) 
Confrontation is biblical but accusation is NOT!  
Accusation is contagious.....

5.   The Accuser's focused target is ANY child of God!   (But God is on my side!)

6.  Unresolved arguments,  merge with east onto the road of accusation!
( Give NO place to the devil.)

7.  We have the divine right to RECLAIM our belongings in Christ.  ( God wins!  WE win.)


8.  The GOD of Peace will soon crush Satan under your feet!  ( Romans 16.20)

If the Lord had not been on my side.....

----this is my testimony:  

I would of eventually found love - probably in another man ( maybe even married man), I would of continued to numb my pain with alcohol and I would of ignored the call on my life to teach and lead others to My Savior. I would be divorced and bitter.   I would of allowed the enemy to win and my children would of suffered and I know I would probably be compromising everything.  I am in awe and honored that God allowed a struggling marriage to open my eyes to HIS word and that HIS Word became alive and active within me that I began to seek counsel and a consistent prayer life....which built up my inner man ( woman)  so that when God allowed a 'sifting like wheat'  I was assured of my identity in Christ and thus began a journey of more prayer, seeking, forgiveness, redemption, restoration, and then healing so that ....God won. 

 If it would of not been for the LORD on my side ....I would not of come to my senses to escape the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.  ( 2 Tim 2. 26)  Again, I am in awe and honor that what the enemy tried to kill and destroy - thrives in a marriage that is founded and sustained on HIM and that together, with my husband, -- we can live the life HE called us to.  amen.  

That is my testimony.  My words.  The other women can give testimony to their GREAT Escape!
We certainly Encountered God in a meaningful and new way!  

Lord, thank you so much for the prayer warriors that prayed with me, for me, and continued through out our stay in Titusville.  Lord for the one who had a physical healing, Lord, now continue to heal the rest of the body and the answer the prayer requests.  Lord for the women  - the twelve -- YOU had 12 ( 13)  disciples and I so believe that these women are indeed YOURS and they will disciple many as they contine to walk with you and share what the Lord did for them - as YOU were on their side as well.  Lord, special blessings and favor to the two that were unable to physically be there, and yet - I know that I know, YOU blessed them in ways that they only see.   Lord, thank you for this past weekend and the answered prayers and for the knowledge gained and the visions...the confirmations...and the peace and the refreshing.  May we do this again - IN YOUR time. Amen. 

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Happy birthday Bren -

1.  He does not LIKE his photo on FB or on this blog.
2.  He contstantly makes me laugh.
3.  Will he retire??  Will he teach another year??  I was asked that today -- I have no idea, I know he will make up his mind when God confirms it him   ...
4.  He is a great dad to Taylor and HP...

I could go on and list 49 incredible things and notions about this awesome man that I can now call my best friend besides the Holy Spirit ..... 

.....and there is so much MORE I would love to say -- want to say ..... but, I am respecting his privacy and respecting his wishes.

I did not buy a card today -- but brought him some breakfast in bed.    So this is his card:

Lord, bless this man, continue to teach him, speak to him, and protect him in EACH and every endeavor.  Lord, thank you for birthday #16  where I made him an Ivan Lendal cake and every one  in between until today at 49.
Lord, may  he forgive the years I totally forgot to celebrate his special day as it was usually the ending of school and time got away from me  and bless the future ones where I can totally surprise him with an awesome ...something...whatever -----  YOU will lead Lord. 

 Lord, as he continues to grow closer to You - grant him favor and answer all his secret prayers - and remind him that he has a heart of Yours ...and he follows You in obedience and that he is indeed, perfect in Your sight.

Bless Him Lord, help me to be the best help meet --help mate-- in Jesus name, Amen.

When the promise is clear - the pain is easy --

 Repost from June 9, 2013...the day we celebrated Grandma Africa's Life ---

Rev. David Vespa spoke today at Grandma Ziemann's memorial service. Tremendous.  He and his wife were missionaries over in Africa about the same time as Grandma and Grandpa.  They were located about 400 miles north of them, but had several visits with each other --being some of the few Americans in that country/region.

He spoke about Eddie Ziemann  ( Grandpa )  and shared a few stories.  His wife spoke highly of Bernice  ( Grandma ) and how she had a gift for making the coldest or bare room look like a million bucks by adding a table cloth from home and then a few beautiful things like nic nacks to decorate with.   That was Grandma...she was always  fashionable, stated her opinion, but she loved and prayed and prayed so much, I know that I know, our children are blessed and healthy because she did pray!

Thinking and pondering the entire service....was just a blessing and mirage of different memories that came flooding back as that was Brendan's weekend home while we were in college as Marilyn and Lowell had moved to Florida.

Listening to the love they had for his ( our )  grandparents and their life there in Africa was just tremendous.  I knew that as Missionaries...they impacted many but I had really NO idea of HOW much.  What a legacy.  Grandpa and Grandma had a grassroots approach and the millions of Christians there now are from the seeds they planted.

There is even a couple here now in Okeechobee that are from Ghana that attend church where Marilyn and Lowell go now....and I have no doubt that they are remind Marilyn...of HIS love and faithfulness.

God is so sweet....HE blesses us with such little things that MEAN so much!

Rev. Vespa said two words about Grandma -- inspiration and faithfulness.  Tremendous.  She was 94 when she went to meet Jesus.  I can only hope and pray that my life....would touch 1% of the people she did......

I can only pray that my children......touch others....there is such a legacy powerful.

She was an inspiration and her HIM was remarkable.  I believe that perhaps the reason she lived so long....was she was a faithful prayer warrior and we had confirmation that she would pray all the time in the nursing home  -- in fact, Marilyn even spoke to a lady that was in the room with her and she spoke of that peace Grandma had, but that she didn't....and so, just this past week, Marilyn prayed with her and she accepted Jesus into her heart...even after Grandma was in heaven....her legacy lived on.  Tremendous.

I believe both Grandma and Grandpa knew of the service yesterday - but they did not need to hover over it, they are enjoying God's presence.  They are in HEAVEN.   I believe all the prayer warfare they did while on Earth....will prove fruitful...even for her children, grandchildren, and great - grands.


Grandma got her vision when she was about 7......I wondered today how many of us got our visions or our 'orders' and ignored them...she believed.

When the speaker spoke about that, I got a glimpse into the heavenlies...and I could see both of them walking hand in hand with their African garb on  walking towards God....I only saw the back of them and they were spry....I had to stop a moment or lose it.....then I asked God, did I really 'see' that?

I believe I did.  It is just another one of those tidbits of blessings...that HE gives me...that HE gives me to remind me - I am deeply loved.

I sit Christ when I can.    I sit humbled.  I pray ....I listen and watch every new Christian video...but, do I really serve HIM?

Rev. Vespa spoke about service.....the Enemy could really have a field day with my head  nright now...making me feel I am not doing what I need to or I have not done enough, but God reminded me today -- HE calls us to be real and show HIS grace and mercy every moment of our lives and if we are in HIS will.....we are going to shine and show HIS light.

Back to...when the promise is clear...the pain is easy.  Rev. Vespa stated that  and repeated it a few times.  I wrote it down at the request of my hubby......when the promise is clear...the pain is easy.  

I thought of giving birth.....knowing the baby was coming....and thousands upon thousands of women got through it each day....

I thought of sitting with Blake outside in the parking lot as he had is first seizure....knowing that I could sit there and watch my precious nephew convulse....but I prayed  it would pass.

I thought about sitting outside of the surgery room when HP was having a lump removed and holding onto the thought of the doctor probably was just a cyst!  ......

I thought about when TP came home in 6th grade with her heart broken.  The only time she had a 'boyfriend' and he broke up with her via another pal......and I held her and knew that this pain would pass....

I thought of the night when I watched my uncle have a massive heart attack on the steps of a hall at my other Grandparents Anniversary celebration and then being at the hospital when he was declared dead and watching my mother and my grandmother take in the that time, I was so young and naive and questioned his salvation....and then just blurted out to my folks....YOU must be saved...I don't want to be in a hospital and wonder.......

I thought about the pain of driving home after the phone call from JJ about Blake's passing into the tears ran down my face and I drove on I-75 home...knowing HE WAS IN was painful...but easy....well....easy came in time........


I thought of laying in my bed, in tears....heaving with pain and heartache  because of such great sadness.....knowing  that my husband could not say the words I wanted and longed for him to say.... 

At that time, the pain hurt and it was not easy and I wondered about the promise.....

I thought  of Grandma and Grandpa and how they left their home and their share HIS good they new the Promise was CLEAR.......and their pain would be easy...



God wins.

We celebrated the life of a beautiful woman...and her man.

My family is being restored.  ( My family is restored! )  

My inner most secret prayers are being Rev. Vespa for HIM is a GREAT is.


we laugh often now ...and we can be silly...cause God shines....
I am so blessed.
Grandma and Grandpa would maybe not approve....but they would laugh and know that God wins.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Being honest - being disappointed -- serious prayer.

I have not blogged in a bit.   As I read back and forth on this site, I see I have reposted a few really good blogs that I wrote some time ago. 

My child had a birthday and so did my sweet neighbor and so I updated and reposted those.   And yesterday, after about 2 good weeks of writers block I seek God and ask ....what can I write about? 

I check the verse of the day on my phone app and it says:   "those who control their tongue will have a long life: opening our mouth can ruin everything".   Proverbs 13.3 

So, I did not blog. 

I was actually in prayer for a situation/person (s) and I was in tears as well, and I wanted to be the 'little kid' and tattle to someone who could FIX the problem or at least throw some verbal punches in there so perhaps a change would occur .... 
...or a mountain would be removed.... as I just could not SEE that God was doing HIS part. 

Then as I continued to pray throughout the day, I found myself over and over reminding God that the situation/person (s) was HIS problem and that He had better HURRY up or at least this.... do then I could.....  and then it dawned on me. 

Did you hear what I said,  to myself, ...."Lord, if I could fix  this...."...

"Lord, if I could ...."

"Lord, you are not and I will...."

It really did not matter which way I said it, but the Holy Spirit quickly convicted me, revealing to me that  I had taken the problem back under my wing and was worrying about it and trying to fix something or someone that ONLY God can.  

I  had dropped my phone on my date night Friday and shattered the glass.  I can or I had to pay the deductible and it is fixed.   ( I had to take it to the Verizon store and get help ...but I CAN fix that.) 

I heated up my hubby's supper and added in a quick dessert -- that I CAN do. 

My mom and dad's 50th anniversary celebration is being planning and details are being worked out - as the oldest, I CAN make a few decisions to do this or that.

I CAN get to the gym and begin to remove the 18 extra pounds that have crept in over the past 2 years...  

But I can't FIX messy people...or situations where - I know GOD is working...and where I KNOW God will win...but, it would certainly help my 'flesh' and my feelings if I could just get a hint or SEE something changing and getting better. 



So, today, I awake and remind God that I really want to blog about something and as my day goes on, HE brings me to Ann Voskamp's blog.  She had posted one a few days ago and another today - and WOW -- I want to write like her. 

(I placed a link for them on my FB wall -- I promise you - THEY are worth the read and sign up for her blog site and get her book -- whoa! )  

HE spoke RIGHT to me via her words. 

Then the enemy sets it..."see, your time of blogging is pretty much over"...."There is no need". 

yep...and I buy the lie..for a good 20 minutes until I realize that --the enemy is a LIAR. 

Then I stop and think and have a great conversation with God and ask...or state...."if I can be so easily lied to and I buy the lie for a bit".... How much more does another -- whom does not know their identity in Christ?"

I ask God -- does Beth Moore even get into these type of funks? 
Does Joyce Meyers?  Does Lisa Bevere?  Does Ann Voskamp? 

And then I read His word...

My bible app for today on my phone says:  
It is out of Colossians  4: 5-6 -- Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. 

And God reminds me -- HE is at work, I may not  SEE it but to be diligent and WAIT on Him. 

I read and copied this quote from Ann Voskamp's blog by Neichelle Guidry : 

If you are going to seek the kingdom of God - you must overcome your addiction to comfort. 

Whoa...powerful statement and thought. 

Then I get a note from my Time Hop App and it reminds me of the verse -- do not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up...

It is so easy for me to get addicted to WHAT I think and believe should happen and transpire.

It is so easy for me to get addicted to WANTING to see something change or move in the manner and time in which I BELIEVE it should transpire. 

How silly of me. 
And as I have had 2 whole days of being by myself  -- summer vacation -- I mean, Brendan is here, but I no longer have to change certain TV shows.... cart a child to practice or be on time for my 2nd job -- I tend to have more time to think and pray and well...

I asked God for forgiveness, as I wanted that situation/person (s) fixed 2 weeks ago and I guess, to be most honestly -- I was believing a lie that HE was not hearing me. 

The Holy Spirit is so sweet and He took me to several places today and reminded me of nights where I would fall asleep with my bible on my chest -- just waiting for a new day - hoping that my miracle would arrive the NEXT day.

And God is so tender and full of mercy that as I stopped and thought about the past two days - He has been prompting my hubby to be the most sweetest man on the planet -- doing stuff and thinking about stuff that he never used to --   as the Holy Spirit reminds me, people DO change. 

And God still does miracles. 
My heart and head still aches for this situation /person (s) I know I have been called to stand in the gap for it/them..... 

But, tonight, HE reminded me that I am not to give up and that HE still thinks I am #1 in His book.  

It really does not matter whom I am speaking about or the what --   my point here this eve -- is that God is the Savior and the fixer and....we can still believe that HE will move mountains that look very bleak and hopeless. 

God is moving within this mess --
God is moving within me --
And guess what --
I blogged. 


- humbled - Michelle

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Happy 20th Hunter ... Mumzie loves you!

  The following is a blog post I posted back on June 6th, 2010.  Hunter was 15.  Today he is 20.  I had to do some research and cut and pasting as I was writing on my Tumbler Account then -- but, thank goodness for modern technology and  here it is: 

Happy Birthday to My son –

Hunter, today you are 15.  The real scarry thing – I remember turning 15.  I had a party – my ‘first’ real party.  I invited Maggie Novenski, Leah Pitterle, Wendy Gimler, Irene (RENE) Peirick, Shelly Ebert, Sue Dittman, and Sherri Lopez.  WE 'held’ it downstairs in our 'new’ basement.  That 'wild’ carpet – it was like red and black, and we had the INTELLIVISION set up down there – a ping pong table and an air hockey table and this 'stereo’.  At that time, I was really 'into’ Jane Fonda and her workout tape – the tape was on a tape player and I had this book to look at the photos to 'do’ the exercises.  We did a few of those at my party, but we mostly listened to Micheal Jackson’s OFF the WALL album and played around.  I remember getting an REO speedwagon album from Maggie and I did not even know 'who’ they were.  I am pretty sure we went to a Freshman basketball game and then came to my house – now sure 'how’ we got there – everyone was dropped off –  but it was fun.  My little brothers were hanging around and I bet Dee and Chris too – I just remember sitting around trying to go to sleep and laughing and giggling.  It was my 'first’ real slumber party – and I think my last.
At that time, I was a freshman as well – middle of the year – 'getting the scoop’ on your dad.  I did not know much – just wished he 'noticed’ me.  Ha.  My life consisted of doing 'barn’ chores and they getting to hitch a ride into basketball games and 'hitch’ a ride home – for home games.  Then on Saturday I would run to the mailbox to get the Daily Times and 'read’ about the game afterwards.  Maybe basketball season was over with by February – but, right now – I sort of have that lumped all together!
NOW – YOU – IT is YOUR birthday – no party – just 'supper/steak’ at Outback last night and then 'lunch/birthday icecream’ at COWboys in Sebring.  I really enjoyed spending the weekend with you and your dad – hotel, soccer, gatoraide, ice, smelly clothes, and then sleeping with ya – ha ha ha ahahaha ha.  The past two years - traveling to Jax and South - watching you play – it has been a real treat.  I look foward to watching you – in the semi’s in Baton Rouge later this month!

Wow, how time has flown by -- those soccer events brought so much joy and fun and now ...they are a memory. Both your dad and I look forward to WHAT HE has in store for you now and as you finish up college and begin your professional career -- what all lays before you.  And I happen to think the soccer days will come again -- 

YOU are 15 today – I have to write a blog in your honor –
1.  Your conception  - ha.  Didn’t think I would post that would ya?  Well, we had a new house and these neighbors who wanted a baby real bad and we joked – but we had to 'keep’ up with the Jones’.  They were a little quicker – hence, Darby is 5 weeks older, but let me tell you – you were planned.  Your sister actually prayed for a little brother one Sunday in church.  I won’t forget - we were walking out of Bethel Assembly of God, and your Grandma was wearing like a gray suit – your Great Grandpa was there too – anyway, as Taylor walked out I asked her how Sunday school was and she said she prayed for a baby brother today.  I looked at Marilyn and smiled – and well – everytime she would get frustrated with you over the next 15 years – I would remind her “you prayed for him” – Ha.

You are 18 now....  and Your sister certainly still adores you and I have a feeling that there are more times now where she is so thankful for you.  I think ahead at times of your children ....and your dad and I pray for all of our grandkids -- that they will be a blessing to YOU as both YOU and Tay are to us.  

2.  Your birthday – well, you were suppose to be born on May 31st – we headed to the hospital and we had Taylor being watched by Rachel and Darby, but when we got there – you had been breech – but you had moved or flipped and back in -v-back position and only 37 ½ weeks, so the doctor said - go home.  OH man – Dixie Ball had flowers waiting for me when I got there – that was sweet.  Rachel was shocked – and so was Taylor – another week of waiting!  By June 6th - I had decided I was not going to try and have you naturally – we went for a 2nd C-section.  And, you have heard the story – you were already named - H.E. L. P.  – but, you also needed a bit of help.  You had Respiratory Distress – lots of prayers.  One time the doctor felt your lungs has collapsed – drama.  I remember when these 4 total strangers wheeled you into my room in an isolette and they were transporting your to the NICU in West Palm Beach – and I was so heartbroken.  I felt I failed – your lungs were not strong enough and they called you the wimpy white boy – and you went from 8pounds down to like 5 pounds 8 oz when we brought you home.    There is a 'lot’ more to that story – read your baby book.

Funny how that respiratory story would get tossed around over and over.  And then -- you had that nose/deviated septum fixed in 2011 or was it 2012 and  ....still that respiratory thing would haunt you in college soccer -- wow!  Anyway, I guess one good thing -- we know WHAT you are allergic to and that a NETTY pot does help!  

3.  That summer – because we almost 'lost’ ya – you were spoiled and held all summer – which made you a sort of pain to the babysitter – you still are at times, impatient!  ha.    You were 4 weeks old and we took you to Wisconsin – you slept on your tummy on the back seat all the way there – never once in a car seat – talk about being crazy! 

Your sister still says you are the spoiled one.  Period.  Sometimes when I hear you and your dad chatting on the phone and laughing -- I just praise God on how, the two of you have become so close -- that is an answer to prayer, as when I wrote this blog on 2010 -- your view of your dad was a tad bit different and your mood and actions were -- not God's best but ... just growing has all changed that -- and you allowed forgiveness to creep into your heart and it shows... thank you Hunter for believing me when I said -- God would fight for us!  
4.  You are the only grandson on the Pritchard side – there are several on the Peirick side – but you are indeed special.  Your nick name was 'ter ter man’ by the kids in the neighborhood and you were often found running in a diaper outside!  You were also a bit hi -strung.  I mean – you were kicking soccer balls by the time you were one,  riding golf carts, and doing most anything - like a boy!! 

Now we all know you are still the favorite on the Pritchard side and all the girls have come to realize it!! LOL 
Seriously -- you are indeed special.  
5.  Impatient – I have said it often, “if you would of been first – you would of been an only child” – HA.  When we went to restaurants, it was always at a place where you could be entertained - easily - and then fed quickly.  YOur dad and I would take turns – but he did most of the entertaining!

I would say that you have learned patience.  You cook now - lead many and have grown into such a man.  I am very proud of you .  
6.  Sportsman – everything you touch – you seem to pick up.  It was golf at first and then soccer and swimming – you are a talented athlete.  I hope and pray you will use those talents to show how Christ lives through you.  Now – watching you on the soccer field – is a real treat.  I NEVER would of thought that soccer was a fun game to watch and now – World Cup will be recorded all week – amazing.

 The Holy Spirit revealed something to me today -- you are still a wonderful athlete.  You have grown so much, but to play college Divison I Men's Soccer for 2 years and keep a 3.98 GPA and all...  living with 5 other athletes.. YOU are indeed a true sportsman.  Your dad and I are so proud of you - 
7.  Golf tees – well, we have heard this story often but how your dad and you would go out each evening and  you would sit and ride the golf cart with him and just sit still and watch him hit and practice was a treat for me.  Each eve- the two of you would head off – I would then walk or rollerblade with RAchel, but it was also my time away from you!!   That fateful night when you fell off – well, you have the scar to prove it, and then when he ran over you a 2nd time - priceless.  That is a story you will tell your own kids!

I have heard a few other stories in the past five years -- like the one about conning Braz to drink pee and then the 'whipping' for losing a video game.???   Oh my ...I am sure that as we both grow older, I will be privy to a few more of your crazy feats and actions - as I said - I pray for your protection - in every manner!  LOL
8.  Carseats – you hated, just hated riding in the car.  Now - how funny, you ride in the car so often cause of soccer – anyway.  If we headed left out of our road - you would kick the back of your dad’s seat and he would fuss and slap your leg.  If we turned right – you were OK – you could tell by the age of 3 – when we got you that hand held video game - wow – heaven in the car.

I am SURE you wear your seatbelt... just remember , take it easy on 'dad's' car...LOL.  
9.   Volleyball - before soccer started, we did a lot of traveling to watch Taylor play volleyball and you would be along and have your soccer ball and your dad would have to walk you about if Josh McCall was not there to 'play’ with!  Those were some great family times – I will remember forever!  And if we were not at soccer – you could be found often, on the TV playing a video game with your dad.  He would win – and make you shake his hand and be a 'good sport’.  You still are one of the most sportsmanship like players on the field – you really are.  And then, if there was no video game – you were often heard saying “can we play a family game?"  

I miss doing puzzles with you.  And I laugh now, but part of the healing and the healing house ....was all those nights when your pals would gather and play games.  Monopoly and poker...  great memories!  

10.  Sunday School - Your grandmother (and me) were mostly your teachers, but she certainly loved each time you would sing the songs she was teaching.  YOU were always keeping us on our toes!  Your grandpa to0.  He so enjoyed your time fishing or just hanging out at IH.   When we would visit Wisconsin, YOU would enjoy the visits to Grandpa Jim’s big tractor and as you grew older – visiting Great Grandma’s basement was a favorite as well.  And of course the neighborhood kids – love you to death.  I think Zach practically copied EVERYTHING of yours for a good few years!   — hat, clothes style, haircut – ?? 

All I am going to say, is that I pray and believe that HIS word is a part of your daily routine!  
11.  School – Rachel had the pleasure of being your K and 1st grade teacher and she did a great job –maybe to good.  I know it STILL bothers DArby that your have a photographic mind and she had to study – However, I believe it is starting to catch up with you – it is a getting a little harder just to study 10 min before the test and pass it – especially English - right?  I so enjoyed being your 4th grade teacher – loved it.  Loved it.  Do you remember getting in trouble for peeing outside in the eco-system?  Do you remember jumping out of the windows with Troy?  Do you remember 'running’ around that school and doing YMCA at the talent show?

You are indeed a student athlete and have excelled in many areas --  it is awesome to hear you and your dad speak about your current professors and such!  
12.  Awards – you make me and your dad very proud – your grades are awesome and you are well liked by your teachers.  I know that is why I have not had 'as many’ calls this year from the Principal – especially with how LOW your wear your pants!!   Why is that?   Also, how about the TCU banquet – two years in a row – Player’s Player awards – and the Coaches Award – WOW!  You are a treat.  Speaking of awards – that smile – wow -award winning!

Honor Roll in college -- nothing more to say!  
13.  Disney – I remember many many many wondeful weekends and short jaunts to Disney or the Disney Resorts for fun and play in the sun.  I think you have been on many of the water slides and enjoyed enough Rasberry Smoothies to float a boat!   Do you remember being there that one time with Grandma Marilyn and then getting soaked - lost - and then just buying new  - dry  - clothes and then riding the Haunted Mansion for an hour until the rain stopped – memories.

Just the soccer Disney memories are enough for several blogs or books -- but again - Thank you God for those.  
14.  Memories – you have been at the center of many of my memories and I am praying for the memories to continue!  I look forward to your high-school years and knowing your dad is going to get to enjoy you – there like I got to enjoy  you at Central.  YOU are deeply loved by both your dad and I.  And, I know I have told you this – but I do not wish to freak you out – but, I do believe you are going to be blessed by the fact that your Grandfather was a preacher!  I have this feeling that you are going to be in some sort of ministry – but in reality - - we all should be.  Whether we minister from behind a pulpit – or just to our friends and neighbors – you have a calling upon your life and I know I will be marveled by what God is going to do through you!

Little did we know what would transpire in 2010 -- that birthday.  From the outside looking in -- it did not look TOO good that month and summer was in full swing.  Each day was tense because of the family faith crisis and I was trying my best to be a loving mother and father for a bit...  and yet...that was not my role.  I stop now and just think back 5 years and marvel at what transpired - a miracle.  

Many times, you would get so mad at me and just say, "divorce him".  And over and over, I wanted to so pour out my heart as to WHY and WHAT...but, a very smart lady said something to me...her name was Carlene and she told me that you would be OK, to continue to pray for you -- to believe the best in you and that the HARD part with dealing with the hurt...would be worked out in HIS time.  She was right.  And God let me see it -- see you forgive your dad and rebuild.  God let me see you become trusting again...and God let me be a light - to show you that HE wins.  As I said, I believe you have a calling on Your life...and I am going to continue to believe that and pray I get to see ALL HE has in store for you.  
AND 15 – YOU are 15today – LORD, I know Hunter loves you and he knows WHO you are.  He does know what YOU have done for all of us.  He is a young man, trying to live his life in  'this world’.  Lord, I pray a blessing of protection over him.  As he gets his permit, as he begins to be on the roads – Lord, protect him.  Lord, I pray a blessing of peace over him - peace that he can only find when he seeks YOU, peace about what he will do as he begins to think about college, peace as his peers around him do this and that - peace that ALL of them would make wise choices.  Lord, I pray YOUR word would burn in his heart and he would have a hunger for YOU  like no other.  LORD, use him.  LOrd, I pray YOUR will be done in his life.  I love him LORD, but I love your more – I pray he would understand that as well.  Thank you for blessing him to us.
I love you Hunter – your mom!

And today you are 20 -- the prayer above is the same...  but now I pray for NO speeding tickets and that you find a house for the fall term.  I also pray that as you have begun your new job, that you will listen to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to show you exactly what path to take in this last year of your BA degree and then your Masters.  I pray the finances will be there.  I pray for the woman you will meet and pray for your future family with HIM as Your mentor..Your guide and Your best friend.  Happy Birthday Son -- 

 Your gift - will you know, I cracked the screen on my phone and I was very UNhappy that insurance caught me for 199.99!!  But anyway -- 

I look forward to tomorrow and seeing you and enjoying dinner - God bless -- you HP - 

BTW..I like my new nic name!  


Happy 18th Daron Jones!

  THIS is a post I placed on my Tumbler Blog back on June 6th, 2010.  5 years have past...but read on: 

Well,  it is a birthday again – and Daron is very special cause he shares HUNTER’s birthday.
Today Daron is 13 – an official teenager – so, here is his 13th birthday blog:

1.  Daron is my next door neighbor.  He was born on Hunter’s birthday – same hospital, same day, he may have been born in the ‘same’ room as well.  AND – he has practically the SAME breathing problems that Hunter had.   RAchel or Todd called us at about 4:30 that morning and said he was here – and they were immediately taking him to WPB to the NICU - I remember ironing in the 'extra’ room and listening to Rachel say - they felt better that DAron was being moved as they 'sort’ of understood because of what Hunter/we had endured two years before!!    WE hopped in the car and headed to St. Lucie and ended up eating at Applebee’s for Hunter’s birthday with Todd and Rachel!!   Then we traveled the next day to WPB to see him with all of his tubes and such – Both DAron and Hunter were known as the 'whimpy white boys’
2.  CHucky Cheese – I think it was Hunter’s 6th and DAron’s 4th birthday that we celebrated together at Chuck E Cheese and then we headed to the beach in WP – I remember another 'birthday’ movie time – maybe that was just around the date – not sure –anyway – my memory is not its best this ever – as I have TWO birthday blogs to do – so forgive me DAron.  But, I LOVE the fact that our families will forever be tied on this day – JUNE 6th!
3.  DAron is a scout, a carpenter, a campter, an excellent fire starter, a fisherman, and a musician  – basically a man of many talents.  He impresses me!!   I have seen many created projects – I have been the invited guest to try some fish that he caught, and I have enjoyed his talents on the griddle when he has made pancakes!!    His dad is an excellent teacher – and Daron has many talents!
4.  Daron is a musician -  he was the ONLY kid picked from Okeechobee County for All -State Music/Band this past year – WOW!    And the next time I go to BB King’s House of Blues – I am going to take him on a date – as the trombone player was impressive and I kNOW Daron would enjoy it.  I think basically – Daron is like a Rensissance Man!    (in 2010!)
5.  He is all boy – he loves to be outside, wakes early and you can find him riding his bike, or skatboard thing and when one needs something accomplished – he is readily available to help.   He is also our 'neighborhood’ airhead at times.  He really has 'not’ been as bad lately – or Rachel has not shared as many stories, but he is the only person I know who can lose his glasses 2x in one day!    He does make us laugh.
6.  He is very sweet – he loves to make conversation and makes you feel like you are most special.    He is adored by his grandparents on both sides  and  is a sweet 'bubba’ to his little sister.
7.  Did I say he lives next door?   You can count on him to share what needs to be shared.  You can count on him to start a fire when one is in need.  You can also depend upon him to get a small task accomplished or an errand ran.  He can also 'clean’ the kitchen pretty well too!
8.  Family Times – though lately, our families have not been able to get together as much as now his sisters are busy with volleyball and dance but when he was younger and my kids were younger – you would often see the Jones’ in 'school’ over here in our driveway along with the other neighborhood kids!   Fun!  Taylor still considers him 'her little brother’
9.  He has a great mother and dad – who put him first and do their best to provide whatever he needs – like a keyboard – dragon – and other fine stuff.  WEll, grandma helps too – we - the Pritchards - certainly enjoy the Jones’.
10.  His head – feels so soft, especially after his dad shaves it – it is like fun to give a 'nuggie’ too.
11.  His signature 'outfit'   – outside of his house – shorts and a shirt that does not match, or groody shorts and no shirt,  or … . Just kidding.  He usually has some pretty good looking outfits as they are Hunter’s hand me downs!
12.  Daron – dependable,  adorable,  responsible, outstanding, and NICE!  With a capital N – really - he is one of the nicest kids you will meet!
and  13 – HIS heart – Over the past few months, I have seen a Daron who is tremendously sweet – he is starting to really understand what is important in life.  He loves God and wants to live for him – to 'hear’ how excited he was after D-Now weekend, just warmed, warmed, warmed, and filled my heart.  He is a fine young man – teenager and  he has 'only’ just begun!
Happy Birthday DAron Jones!! 
Love, Michelle
PS, Hunter, Taylor and Brendan say Happy birthday too!  So does BELLA!

So, today is June 6, 2015 and he is 18.  
Today is his Graduation Day!    

As I read through those 13 points...they ALL ring true today -- 
I will add..

14...... He is still sweet but now has this talent for fixing cars and is heading off to Tennessee for some mechanic schooling.  

15.  His 'little' sister just turned 13 this past week as well -- and I am not sure if she calls him 'bubba' anymore.  

16.  WE just celebrated with him and were honored that were we chosen as guests -- he really is family!  

17.  Tonight is Graduation and it is Hunter's birthday too -- praying now for safety and protection over both these boys!  

18.  Happy Birthday Daron - as I said on your card...God has already given you GREAT talents and shown you many of HIS plans...we pray, both Brendan and I that you continue to GROW in the knowledge of HIM and as you enter this next phase of learning in your life - that you will be protected, blessed, and enjoy WHAT HE has done.  amen.