Monday, November 30, 2015

Spiritual Adultery and the Someones. Updated.

I am honored and have the privilege to be able to help guide a bevy of beauties as God and the Holy Spirit use us to help some other women - GET FREE.  

Four  and three fourths years ago  - almost five years ago come this February -  I figured out what it meant to commit adultery....spiritual adultery against my Lord ...Jesus.   It broke me.

I  had the opportunity to attend an ENCOUNTER weekend.  Almost five  years ago it was quite 'colder' than it has been this winter.  Four  years ago, the bags under my eyes were pretty thick and dark!  Four years  ago, I knew that once the weekend was over, my husband and I had planned to separate again.  We had come to an agreement that it was time. I began to realize that free will is something God gave us for a reason.

What a miracle God can 'do' in HIS time.  Almost four   years ago  at this time,  we were moving in to our '2nd' new home.  We have moved twice more and become 'vagabonds' to the post office, but oh  how God can do 360's and turn things around is just a pure incredible miracle.

God's timing is perfect.  God can do so much with HIS time.  From my Encounter weekend 5  years ago to our 'move into the Healing House'  four years ago -- much transpired.

Think about it, in a years time...   What can  happen?   A baby can be born.  A child can be conceived.  One gets older.  One can lose a loved one and one can get a diagnosis that changes everything.   One can pay off a loan,  one can spend countless hours in prayer, and one's heart can harden.    One can sit in a divorce court and lose everything.   One can also spend  endless hours in praise,  thanking GOD for a miracle and HIS covering and a blessing.  .......thanking HIM for the cross.

So, like I titled this - spiritual adultery....
Everyone is quick to judge when they hear the word 'adultery' and yet, I have found and know that God does not have levels of sin.  Sin is sin.

I found this in my bible's commentary near the book of Hosea:

Both spiritual and physical adultery are against God's law.

Both spiritual and physical adultery begin with disappointment and dissatisfaction--either real or imagined -- with an already existing relationship.

Both spiritual and physical adultery begin with diverting affection from one object of devotion to another.  ....this diverting of our affection is the first step in the binding process that leads to sin.

Both spiritual and physical adultery involve a process of deterioraton, it is not usually an impulsive decision.....but because you don't realize it, we finally do realize it when it is too late!

Both spiritual and physical adultery involve the creation of fantasy about what a new object of love can do for you...such fantasy creates unrealistic expectations ....and it leads to disappointment in all existing and future relationships.

That was deep - was it not?

I committed spiritual adultery.
Like it or not - that is that.

Israel rejected God's love...they committed Adultery.
The book of Hosea illustrates God's love for his people -- the sinners.

Hosea 3.1...."The Lord said to me, 'Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, thought they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes'".

Almost five  years ago, on a Saturday night - I  came to a full realization that I had committed adultery.
 Praise God I had people around me to help me take my sin to the cross. But God opened my eyes that weekend and I knew.  I already knew I was a sinner and I already knew that because of my own sin, and because of what I had heard my Lord tell me...I was suppose to forgive  myself and others, but I never really realized the pain I caused Jesus....what I did to put HIM on the Cross.

Five  years ago at my Encounter, I experienced HIS love and teaching from some ladies that understood what it meant to commit spiritual adultery.  And, I had a vision  ( during extended prayer time ) and I saw, Jesus coming to pick me up out of the muck and mire and put me on HIS horse after he brushed off the dirt that was all over me and  then I experienced the most beautiful yellow....I believe I saw God's eye's for a brief moment.  I believe that I 'got it' on that all made sense.

 Thus that night, I was really able to totally give my marriage,  my husband, and my job,  my future, and my family ....up to HIM.  I was finally able to TAKE my hands off and allow HIM to work within our lives.  I was finally able to say, I LOVE and trust YOU Lord.  It was that night, that I was washed clean of all of my sin. Washing clean of the sin I had no idea was all over me and I rededicated myself to HIM.

Then I returned home.  Learning to LIVE in that knowledge  was a true  act of worship to HIM.   Learning to really LIVE what it meant to trust HIM is the hard part.  It has been almost five  years.......

It has been almost five  years of much love, renewed strength, prayer and fun.
It has been  almost five  years of   prayer,  godly counsel, and accountability.  ( And  8 month check ups with our Marriage Therapist when needed! ) 
It was a  few  years of uncertainty and yet the most blessed peace; yet in the past 40 months, it has been such a rebuilding,  such a rewarding time, that ALL of the pain is gone.   ALL.   There are scars, but they are shrinking and turning white almost transparent.... Jesus does heal.  Completely. 
It has been four years of a FRESH walk with Jesus.
It has been the BEST 40 months  of my life.
It has been the BEST  marriage .....we both will tease, 'this is our 2nd act' -- Our Sequel. 

 ( There has been CRUD around and some VERY hard times and tears -- In fact, my husband and I have never been so challenged with  situations within our circle of influence: however,  .....but if we are called to serve the body of Christ -- we must be willing to shed tears with our brothers and sisters in Christ and we must stand in the gap at times,  sharpen iron at times  ....and be on our knees -- ALL of the time.  )  

HE has allowed scars, so I never forget!
I am so humbled.
I will forever sing of HIS praises.
HE has given me such a peace about so much, and the stuff I am still unsure of..I trust HE will lead, direct and show me the path.

But my heart aches for some.

Someone else needs to read this tonight.
Someone else maybe needs this same Encounter Experience.  
Someone else has put other things in front of her Lord.
Someone loves his job too much, he  really doesn't see it but he makes excuses and excuses as to why he doesn't  need to be in a church under the covering of a Pastor each weekend and his wife just agrees.  She needs a godly leader.
Someone loves their children way too much, ahead of their spouse and their needs come first and one day they won't realize it until it is too late, but that will cause rebellion.
Someone loves her body, or the idol worship of exercise,  to cloud her  or his judgement, thinking and believing that God is going to notice their size in heaven...when in fact they are not putting that amount of time into learning about HIM. And the  children are watching 'what' is important to their mother.
Someone else needs to ask my husband my idol?
Someone has committed Spiritual Adultery against their Lord.....  Jesus.

I can that was me.
 From the outside, I  was this great warrior for God - I was at times.  I do believe I prayed and did as much as I knew HOW to do, but my view of God and my trust of HIM was so so so shallow.    ( I did not see that then. )  And,  I did a great deal of GOOD for HIM and HIS Kingdom, but I failed, I allowed idolatry to sneak its way in and I did not realize it until it was too late.  But maybe it was not too late....I believe HE opened my eyes when I was ready to change!  I believe HE knew I had to fall out of love, allow a love to perish so it could be rebuilt, and I believe HE wanted so much more out of me.

I hurt for them.
 The Someones.

  I see some of them around me.   Both my husband and I can 'see' them here and there and we meet them and just know.   I know the pain that God will allow - HE wants NO one to perish.  I also hurt for their the fruit of this rebellion will show up - later.  I hurt for them....I want to grab them and shake them- wake up. My husband and I talk about the someones often, he is better at discerning and reminding me that PRAYER is our battle tool and that with the ARMOR of HIM, we can be there when those Someones fall.

I hate it, but I believe those Someones  may have to fall....they have to be broken to be used.  Pride is the biggest that will fall. I had a lot of Pride.  A lot.

Someone once told me,  "usually the  ones we have a hard time getting along with ---are the ones we SEE ourselves in, and often we don't like what we SEE".   She was a VERY wise bible teacher.   I can hear her often -- and I hear her voice saying it.  It makes so much sense.  The Spirit within me...the Holy Spirit in me, bears witness to their Spirit.

I know that I know -- I had a Spirit of Religion, Pride, Lust.... I could name SEVERAL more.... but I am not going to speak them out... They are my past... not my future.  

When you are really in LOVE with the Lord, and know exactly what Jesus did for you at the cross - you don't want anyone else to perish.  YOU want to spend moments and moments in worship ...reading, praying, and learning more...being close to HIM.  You understand what Prayer without ceasing means and you want to get plugged in.  YOU want more of HIM.

Lord, I always want  to speak in love, and I pray that those 'someones'....would see something in me and my husband  that they want.  Oh God, open their eyes.  I am not your Holy Spirit, some of those Someones are SO blind and believe they are 'ok'...OH God....I don't want them left behind.  Oh Lord, spare them the pain of being knocked  to their knees, but if  You don't spare them and allow the Enemy to strike, let me be ready to pray for them and love on them.  Bring them to my mind, and to my husband's mind...we want to bind the Enemy and help them experience YOUR forgiveness.
 Lord, I pray my children will never experience spiritual adultery, God I pray they will make a covenant with you and hold tight.   Oh God, I see potential  idols - they are young adults  and yet, I know they know.  Oh Lord, it is so easy to allow the Enemy to get a God, if there is anything I am holding onto or beginning to become an idol - show me!  - Amen

Lord,  may I remember this:

"Above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins"  1 Peter 4.8

your daughter!

For any women reading this -- and you are in the area of Okeechobee,  You Too can have an Encounter Experience.  His Church Women's Ministries  is having our next God Encounter Weekend,  later this week.  God has given us our title or theme...Hope in HIM.  Contact me if you have questions.  

I am most humbled and expectant as I know God is going to give each and every women that same experience -- if they are open to it and WANT it.  It is time to get FREE.  amen.  

Getting Ready -- Desperate prayers - #15

God knows how I was created -- from dust.  And to dust I will return.  I really can't do anything - without HIM.

2 Peter 5.7 says..CAST all cares upon the Lord and He will sustain you -- HE will never let the righteous fall.  

I wrote several blogs last week, as I was on vacation and spending more time with the Lord in conversations.  This weekend.... started again and I am back into the routine----

---where I carve out time for God -- but work and life gets a hold of me.  

On Saturday, a dear sister in Christ stated something and today -- the Lord, has reminded me of that statement over and over.

She said..."well, I am just praying and if it all goes pa-hooey....and it becomes a mess -- it is God's mess and HE will fix it".  

I have thought and thought about that statement all weekend.  I am amazed by God daily and then, when I think longer, I catch myself saying..."really???  Am  I (you) really surprised by God?".

God does tremendous and crazy things.  God is unbelievable at times....and yet -- SO believable.

I am getting ready.  For the past 12 weeks, an event has been on my mind.  I have planned, gathered with fellow sisters in Christ to plan, and I have prayed and prayed and prayed....and now -- I am 4 days away ------

I won't go into details, but this weekend is my 5th  Women's Encounter Weekend where a group of ladies and myself will travel and seek God to orchestrate a spectacular weekend for 23 women -- that are seeking God.....asking for complete freedom from past hurts and so forth and they too have been preparing for their Encounter with Our Lord.

I am completely humbled by WHAT God does on these weekends and it creates such a Jesus High in me -- that when I finish with mind begins to plan the next.    It is ALL GOD.

Anyway, as I walk out these last few days of details and checking my 'list'...I pray and spend quite a bit of time  fasting some things and spending extra time within God's Word.  I also check and recheck my head and heart and ask the Lord to show me any ....any....any..unforgiveness or unrighteousness..... or anything.  If I don't have a 'clear' conscience and link to can I look in the eyes of another and tell her ----   God will.....

And then I think of what my sweet friend says......"well, I am just praying and if it all goes pa-hooey....and it becomes a mess -- it is God's mess and HE will fix it".  

This is God's weekend and YES....if it all falls into a mess -- God will fix it.  I trust God.  I trust our planning and our prep -- I trust the leadership team joining me....

What I don't trust - is Satan -- and he won't rest and will throw every dart possible and he will do anything to steal, kill, or destroy.  He distracts... He lies.... and he still thinks - he has a chance.  

So -- with that --   

I will pray this eve -- and include in my prayers --  everything......   

Lord -- I have released the people/couples we have been praying with ..... I have released the spoken and unspoken requests I have voiced and written in my journal.  I have asked...begged...and reminded You of certain requests... and I have looked and looked at my list.....

As You KNOW Lord -- I am hopeless and unable to do anything -- unless YOU are in it...and unless YOU are with it.  Lord -- take over.  

Lord, if everything falls apart... Fix it.  

Lord, I ask you send 25,000 extra angels to surround those women traveling to Titusville on Friday - protect them and don't allow Satan to distract them.  Lord, I pray all 40 will be there -- as YOU do great things with the number 40 -- but I have trust in You.  

Lord, for the women reading this -- following the Desperate Prayers I have been writing and following the Prayers for Marriage as well...... HOPE -- give them HOPE.  

Lord --  I have CAST all my cares upon You.  However Lord, before I finish -- I am being a bit 'needy'....  I want to thank you for the blessing of today's  "bone"......

( I will ask God to send me a bone -- or a sign to know that HE still thinks I am blessed and highly favored.  I get that expression from a sweet woman - named Carlie )  

So anyway Lord.... thank you for my bone today -- and Lord, I will need another tomorrow and one on Wednesday as well ........  As I am standing in the gap and believing this weekend will indeed be a Jesus HIGH...but my flesh proves weak at times.  And according to Your Word - YOU know I am made of dust....  you know I am human..... so - make me supernatural this week...pump me UP with YOUR confidence....YOUR patience...YOUR passion....and YOUR compassion.  

I need your compassion.  
"well, I am just praying and if it all goes pa-hooey....and it becomes a mess -- it is God's mess and HE will fix it".  

Lord, thank you for fixing our messes.  Even the future ones I will make.  IN Jesus name!  

This is one of my sweet friends and woman of God--a fellow sojourners who believes in the power of His Word.  She is someone you want on YOUR side - always.   And if there is a mess -- we will watch it together!  

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

To Whom it May Concern:

Spending 2. 5 days away - seeking God's Word and just allowing the Holy Spirit to speak is a great and wonderful way to break through a Writer's Block. 

Forgive me for restating this again, I don't ever want to write something that just rambles nor use this avenue to vent or hurt.  I write cause it gives me a chance to speak to God in a medium where -- it may help another. 

I read several blogs.  Two blogs in particular kept me sane when I wanted to bolt and quit.  So therefore, I hope and I guess I believe that my blog can help another. 

This letter came to me today -- I pray ti will be read, bring hope and minister to a heart.  I also pray that it will be shared with the one who needs to read it --as God's Word heals. 

                        *        *          *          *       * 

To Whom it May Concern: 

I see you there -- under attack.  You can't believe this has happened and you can't believe the role and part that you played in this.  You believe there is nothing you can do at this moment to fix it, nor do you believe you have the strength to fix it.  Fear.  The enemy wants to keep you in fear of your own actions and of the consequences you believe will follow.  However -- there is hope....  Your mighty God is right there - next to you --I promise.  I want you to picture yourself, looking around -- and --
 after I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "Don't be afraid of them.  Remember the LORD, who is great and awesome, and then FIGHT for your families, your sons, your daughters, your wives ( husbands ) , and for your home.".  Nehemiah 4.14

I see you there -- believing there is no way you can stand up in this season.  You have been hit hard with something that seems will destroy you and you feel you are under qualified to take on this task. You are not good enough. You sinned for far to long and you now deserve this consequence.  You are believing the lies of the enemy that God does not want you as happy as you could of been.  You are believing the lies that "this is my life now"...... No...No... God can and will bring beauty out of these ashes.  There is hope ..... Your mighty God is right there - next to you-- I promise.  I want you to get alone with God and memorize His words ---
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you -- 1 Peter 5.7
However, the LORD, your God would not listen to Balaam ( the enemy) but turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the LORD Your God loves you!   Deut. 23.5 

I see you there -- by yourself thinking about mean things.  You can't believe that 'this' is your fate.  You did not see it coming and yet, you did and feel like you did nothing to stop it.  This is a mean world we live in and Satan had you -- hook, line, and sinker...until something reminded you of Your eternal home and you ran.... to save your life.  You are now in the light.  The sin is exposed and so therefore -- there is NO condemnation in Christ Jesus.  However, you have to live and walk in this mean world and it seems to overcome you and bog you down.  But I promise - there is hope.    There will be a silver lining and what you think will happen -- is only the beginning.  Your God will bring beauty and one day you will look back to this time, and smile as you will clearly see His goodness in the land of the living.  And you will sit with another and hand her this letter and remind her -- that --
This charge  I entrust you to you beloved, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience, by rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith.   1 Timothy 1. 18-19.  ( So don't lose faith.) 

I see you there -- by yourself feeling like the shadow of her will overtake you.  I see you there, feeling the shadow of him will overtake you.  I see you there - feeling the shadow of it will overtake you -- how can you walk now in this shadow?  I will tell you- you are not in a shadow.  That is the enemy's way of keeping you in this bondage and guilt.  It is time to forgive - forgive yourself first and then seek the forgiveness of others in His time.  Seek God and make sure that He and You have that direct line of communication again.  Remind Him, that you are no longer going to walk in that sin -- that you are not sinless -- but THAT sin is over, and that You will need HIS help to continue to overcome it daily ... So, in that thought - think about sitting in the shadow of the Most High God - Your Father, Your King....and believe His Word:  
whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High- will  REST in the shadow of the Almighty.  Psalm 91.1

See, there is great victory now.  You may not see it -- cause the enemy wants you to feel underrated   and stuck within the consequences of this; however, as I have stated before - God will bring beauty out of these ashes.  Do not give up the promise God has given you,  what HE placed into Your head and heart to believe -- believe on that.  However, in the waiting time for His promise to be fulfilled -- concentrate on Him and allow Him to rebuild you, to hold you, to love you so audaciously that no matter what -- You walk in Him and can smile and know, that it is well within your soul---cause no matter what - HE is a Good Good Father.  And ponder on this:  
He has made everything beautiful in its time.  he also set eternity into the human heart: yet no one can fathom what God has done from the beginning to end.  Ecclesiastes 3.11

I see you there--awaiting....waiting....and wanting....  You are thinking, how can you now move forward - but you can.  You are thinking, what do I do now?  God will show you.  And you are  grieving -- which is important to do but don't lose hope.   God can turn situations around so quickly and when something is not of God's perfect will - I believe He, our Almighty God, has not stopped   fighting  for YOU -- HE is Your Knight in Shining Armor.   He sees your passion and pain and He will give you the patience to endure and wait on HIM! And as you wait, be reminded that Your Heavenly Father has been waiting and longing for You to return to Him for an even LONGER time.  
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you: therefore he will rise up to show you compassion, for the LORD is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for HIM!   Isaiah 30.18  

I see you there, wondering HOW it will happen -- HOW can I face today, let alone tomorrow.  HOW will this circumstance ever be 'good'.  HOW will I wait and HOW will the Lord bring beauty out of these ashes....  The glorious relief is this -- You are not responsible.  You are NOT the one that has to do it.... God will.  Listen:  
If this is so, then the LORD knows HOW to rescue the godly from trails and to hold the unrighteous for punishment on the day of judgement.  2 Peter 2.9   ( So, God will. )  
For He knows how we were formed, He remembers that we are dust.  Psalm 103.14 ( So He knows we are human and we can't fix -- but HE can and HE will.) 

I see you there -- and I am praying for you.  
I see you there - and I will stand in the gap with you and wait.  
I see you there -- and I know from my own life -- God wins.  
I see you there and believe......   one day we will look back on this and know - HE orchestrated it all for our good.  

One day we will praise Him for this storm...until then, we will 'faith' it and sing praise until we can feel it within our bones.  

God knows.  
There is HOPE -- hang in there -- 


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Prayers for a marriage # 16 - Covering stuff up - updated.

   A memory from over a year ago -- when Taylor started her teaching career --  at OHS.  I will repost the blog, but I updated the prayer.  I am praying now -as if YOU -- reading this...can pray for Your marriage and/or pray for another close to you.  So pronouns have been changed and updated.   However I felt the original story and how the Holy Spirit led me to pay on this day back in January of 2013.... well -- read for yourself.   

                                         *      *     *     *      *   

Taylor and I were talking today --at her new classroom-- as she was putting up POWER words and I was creating a MAP wall.  On her west wall, there  was a blackboard  that had  been taken down and it was never painted  underneath so all you see was four different colors of old paint and then some major BROWN gunk to fill in the holes in the concrete.   So, in all TRUE teacher fashion - we had to HIDE the wall with something and COVER it up.   In cleaning out some of her newly acquired book cases and cupboards, I came across a box of old maps and an old Reader's Digest Atlas.

 Anyway - let the FUN begin!

I covered that wall all right - I am a pro -- been teaching for 26 years now and I know how to cover a wall.  Lee Dixon once took a photo of my room and used it for FIRE safety training as to 'what NOT to have on your wall'...TOO much stuff that is!  LOL

I still love that he used my wall -- how did I know??  He shared the story with me but he had to delete that photo - my 'sunflowers' gave it away.  Too many people  recognized  my unique choice of wall coverings and it became a laughing point instead of a safty message.....needless to say, I have had to learn to try and restrict WHAT I place on my walls now -- as I don't wish to be a fire hazard!

But, as I spent almost 3 hours cutting, covering, and then taping a wall in old maps, I began to think about HOW much we cover up -- in our lives.

I have been thinking and watching -- others.  Married couples do a lot of 'covering'.  Maybe women DO more of the covering - hiding their pain -- or holding it in.

Maybe not.  Maybe it is really the men doing most of the 'covering' with a mask.

What do we cover up for our spouse or ourselves?
Do we have differences in moral principals?
Do we have opposing friendship choices?
Do we have different religious beliefs?

Is there anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness that we cover up?
Is there impatience or insensitivity being displayed?
Is there apathy that you cover up?  

I caught myself today.....thinking about another couple.  They are older.  We were never friends but through the insurance office, I learned a bit of their story.   I quickly judged him as it was always rumored that  he used to be a 'ladies man' -- but now I believe he is committed to his wife.   He  would always be at  church.   Why did she stay - did she ever know?    They never divorced.  They raised a family.  But still....I judged -- I thought and I wondered.  And why today did this couple come across my thought waves?       I believe it was the enemy -- trying just ANOTHER way to distract me.

THEN  I  felt the CHECK in my spirit and repented -- "what do people think about us?".

Covering - We covered SO much for so many years.

I quickly realized -again, HOW fast the enemy can sneak up on you - at it was not even an hour past church......seriously.    Tears flowed -- I would NOT want anyone to 'judge' me like that.  I want people to think of God's grace and mercy when  our names pop into their brains!

Praise GOD we fall under a God this evening -- today - HE  COVERED our sins.

Tonight's prayer is just for that -- covering..

                         *       *       *         *        *         *  

LORD GOD - I pray that if there is a 'bad' covering happening between my self and my spouse  - God uncover it -- reveal it - open the eyes of both us so that a healing can begin.  Lord God,  I pray that we will BOTH lay down our  lives -- and allow you to consume EVERY part  and we will be  covered by YOUR blood. 

 Lord I pray we  will fight to SEEK you and learn to forgive....

Lord God - for any couples I look at and judge....hold me accountable and remind me of my own sin -- 

 God I pray the  family and friends around me -- that the  marriages  I see around me  are healthy and sound -- that any   mistakes of the past  - are forgiven and I pray they now  have a RIGHT standing relationship with YOU.   And for the couples around me where I know You are not first and they are probably covering -- I pray that their eyes will open   for YOUR purpose ---- thank you Lord  for teaching me and gently reminding me ....
I am just but a 'forgiven' sinner. 

God, I am so thankful for Your covering.  

 Lord God for my husband and  I  -- hold us before you - God I pray that these prayers are  heard and answered...IN Jesus name, Amen. 

Prayers for a marriage - #15 - Sex- updated. ( This is PG 13 rated. Read with integrity)

Ok, I don't  really want to post about this -- but it seems to keep coming into our conversations and our prayer time.

I share this - and it is rather personal again-- but I believe someone needs to hear this tonight.  I pray if you are reading this, you will respect me and my family and  not speak about it in Publix - but if you are a woman and wish to speak to me more candidly? me!   I don't counsel with men -- you can contact my husband if you are a man.  And I really don't counsel -- I  listen,  I pray, and  then pray with you ....but anyway  ----

Like it or not - one of the FIRST questions and discussions we had to have when we started some professional counsel was the 'logistics of sex'.   We had been separated and then  we were back under one roof.  We wanted to try to save our  marriage.

 At our first session  - Dr. Connie began....'Sex....How often was it occurring?  Is it still?  Is it something you want ..Michelle?   Brendan.....?'  And then the 'big kid' discussions began.   And when we have our 'check up' appointments now every   8-10 months -- THAT is the very first question she asks us both - it is a thermometer!

Sex is a thermometer in a marriage.  God created the act and the pleasure that comes with that act.
And I will be blunt - if it is not good -- then see a doctor and do what needs to be done -- to make it good again - seriously ......God did not create 'OK'.....HE created 'FANTASTIC!'........ 

Women's attention goes to kids, finances, emotional stress, sickness,  and strife - we are constantly juggling.  A week can pass...a month...even months and a woman can be  pretty much 'ok'.  Then when a disaster hits -- she seems to be surprised.   Woman have sex out of affection.  So why have sex with a man that is not being affectionate -- or making you angry, disappointed, overworked,  or unsupported.  For the men - sex is a pure need.   Everything gets clouded if that need is not met -- but I also believe that those roles can be reversed.  Why wouldn't the enemy use sex to steal, kill, and destroy and break up a home - a family......THAT is what he does ---

We went to a sexologist/family crisis therapist.  She is wonderful and she loves God and is pro - marriage, but she was also very realistic and forthright -there were many sessions where I did not like her - at all!    I won't or can't get into everything. It is tough, opening your heart and baring your hurts to another -- believing that maybe perhaps she can give some insight and yet, many times she just opened new areas of conversation and perspectives.  But, she taught us some very good tools to communicate better - and speak to each other with respect.  And...   I am being honest - sex did not seem to be our problem -- and yet, we still had to discuss it and set new ground rules  as, we were trying to mend a severed bond.

There is a book called Love and Respect that is VERY good -- and it talks about the ' crazy cycle'.  There is a book called "Everyman's battle"  and there is an "Every woman's battle"...and then there is a book by Dave Carder called "Torn Asunder"  --- all EXCELLENT resources for a Christian man or woman trying to seek some help and counsel when a marriage is in trouble.  But I would seek YOUR own Pastor and his wife -- ASAP for guidance and direction!

 Anyway -- back to the 'sex'....

If you and your husband are not having sex.....there is something wrong -- period.  End of story.
It is what it is.  I am just saying.   Unless you have both decided to abstain for a time - for prayer and fasting on some matter --  God's word says,  "do not deprive one another except with the consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer: and come together again so that Satan does not temp you because of your lack of self-control"  ( 1 Corinthians 7: 4-5)   Sex between a man and a woman is God's idea -- HIS idea....Sometimes, we really can't keep doing the SAME stuff all the time.  I mean, the definition of insanity is 'doing the same thing over and getting the same results'.  In our case, we had been married 23 years ....and there was a break in our marriage vows - so we had to start over.  And we had to rethink and re look at many aspects of our marriage and our 'routines'.

Now -- because of that heartache and crisis of faith - I had a little more motivation to change it up and see things from a different perspective.  And I was open to WHAT God wanted to change in me.

Now - the MAJORITY  of those  changes had NOTHING to do with sex --but sex - as I said it an important part of being one.   One flesh.

So, tonight's prayer is for a couple -- to guard their sex life if it is good, or maybe to restore it if it is bad.  It is a prayer that I found in my "Power of a praying wife" book -- and I adjusted it a bit.

 I am going to pray it and say it..... to the couples that God has laid heavy on our hearts -- but truth be told, God revealed another couple to us again - that need prayer.

If this blog is you -- please read and say this prayer as if YOU were writing it -- 

Lord God, I pray you will bless the sexuality in our marriage, and God I seek great fulfillment for him as well as me. 

 Lord, restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced. 

 And Lord, protect it from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest.  

I pray that we make time for one another -- I pray that we will make time for each other..... that we  communicate our true feelings openly and remain sensitive to what each other needs. 

 Lord, that we  would keep ourselves  sexually pure in mind and body and close the door to anything  lustful or illicit that seeks  to encroach upon them.  Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes, remove from us  thoughts the effects of any sexual misconduct in thought or deed that happened outside of the marriage bed or prior to the marriage -- TAKE away anyone or anything that would lead us into temptation or infidelity - and help us to abstain from sexual immorality !!!

---  Lord, I pray we will  desire each other -- no one else.  

Lord, I pray you will enlight in me  a lust ONLY for Your Word and for my husband.  

And I pray that I will figure out what needs to be done to be attractive to my husband.    -- 


Lord,   show us  both - HOW to be the kind of partner the other needs. 


God I pray we won't use the 'sex' thing as a tool for manipulation or withhold it for selfish reasons...

God I pray that we would seek YOU and be ONE flesh - worshiping you in every act of love.  Amen. 

And I  - Michelle am adding this:  

And Lord, if they  ( any couple reading this today) needs to seek a sexologist - Lord, God -- give them the courage - remind them there is NO shame in being honest and seeking help.  God I pray their pride would NOT get in the way - there is NO shame to admit - we are messed up and need help -- then YOU can get the glory.  Lord, I pray that if there is hidden sin - reveal it - NOW in that couple - so that the healing can then begin. 


In Jesus' perfect name, 


Marriage Prayers #14 Guarding your time.

My husband and I got away from a few days.  He found a great coupon, called, and well -- we are enjoying some time away.   He orchestrated it -- I am humbled and thankful as this does not happen on a routine basis.  Time for us.  Guarded time. Time away to walk, read, and just sit.  Needed time.

Guarding time to be with your spouse is so important.  When we were going through some major therapy and counsel, Dr. Connie  asked us ...'what do you both like to do for fun?'.    We answered and yet, that really did not change much.

We enjoyed some common activities but that seemed to be the 'same old stuff'.  She encouraged us to figure out something new.   So -----Harley motorcycle -- here we come.    The thrill of  try something new.  The thrill of doing it together.  And then each of us had to learn and then pass our cycle test -- and get it endorsed on our driver's license.  That was the start of some fun.

I thought about that a lot today as we walked Downtown Disney and talked about what we used to do with our kids.   How we spent many Thanksgiving weeks traveling to Wisconsin to visit or carving out some precious days at Port Orleans - Riverside.  And how some of our early memories with our children blessed us so.  And we almost ate at the Planet Hollywood -- for old times sake.  ( Taylor and Hunter could probably share memories of eating there.) 

And I thought about HOW the enemy would continue to distract and steal away that NEW FUN as we tried and how he had 'soured' the old memories .......for that season.    ( The enemy is consistent in trying to destroy and when a marriage is in a crisis...reliving old memories hurt and can bring shame and condemnation)  However, it was only for a season and now old  routine memories and "old stuff" is just as sweet and the newer memories are just the icing on the cake!  

Earlier this week, I was reminded about something -- I was reminded how I placed so many OTHER front of my marriage....   my job..... my kids....  my name......

But in reality -- I had placed idols of all sorts ...including my husband in front of God.

I committed adultery against my Lord...   I had other gods before Him ----

It became so easy to fall in love with the world -- and just fall into the trap of success cause THAT is what was feeding my heart and head with affirmation ... falling into the trap of being to busy -- because of the kids... and then....  falling into a major RUT....where all of a sudden --   one day you realize --

----- something is missing and something has happened --and think --

 'wait,  ...but God.... I have been good'.  

 The enemy could tell what God had planned for me -- and he did overtime distracting me and then setting a goal of destroying my marriage and my family. The enemy hates us.

With out my even knowing it -- I had allowed my immature relationship with the just remain - immature.  

 ( A baby)

 As I grew -- I never grew up with HIM.    And so therefore, I could not even fight -- it was only after  a major hit -- that I decided to fight.

I thought how this happens in many marriages.

I am unsure as to where you are in your marriage.  If this blog has grabbed your attention for the first time or if you are a regular reader -- but I can attest to this -- NO marriage is SAFE.

 It is a daily thing.  

It is something that You must work at.  Now, my blogs are written for a women's perspective but this goes true for men too....  it takes a union -- where 2 become ONE flesh.  Period.

That is why it hurts so badly when one is ...."no longer in love"....or when "one is unsure".... It hurts bad.
 But, I  write this blog with the focus on guarding your time ---

I truly believe that if you are guarding your time with God...having your quiet time with him, even if it is only for 10 minutes a day --  that you are already AHEAD of the 200%!   Guarding and setting aside time to sit with God...listen to God...sing with God... and reading His Love so vital and important.

If that does not 'seem' easy -- pray about HIM carving out the time for it.  HE will.  He wants Your attention.   Pray to crave HIS Word.  Pray to WANT to read His Word.

Please do it now and believe He will....I pray it won't take a major crisis or hurt to make you grow up with the Lord.  Please don't be me.....

I remember walking back to my hotel room after a Living Proof Live Event with two dear women and stating out loud to myself and to them..."I want to have that LOVE of God's Word like Beth does".  And I could hardly sleep and wanted to grow deeper with God.  And I started too -- and I did a bit -- but, then as I wrote earlier -- I allowed the business of this world, the lies of Satan, and my own 'success' detour me and dictate my actions.  And, I allowed my own 'religious self-righteousness' to take over and the enemy used that spirit of religion to distract me -- and keep me in a stronghold.

Do I think my life would of been different if I would of been spiritually mature at that point -- YES.  But I was not.

However, as a sweet 'new'  dear friend  and I were chatting on Sunday, the Holy Spirit spoke and reminded me -- God knew.

And so I declared: "if it was OK for God to know and allow....then why would I question or even feel shame and regret for what I did not see and know back then..."       WOW!  Such liberty in that revelation.

"IF it was OK for God to allow me those 38 years of being a former idiot...cause HE knew that by the time I was 44...I would TRULY get it...  then it is good for me too! ".

If it is good enough for God -- then it is good enough for me!  

Again...  God knew and heard my prayer back in 1998...  God knew the potential...God allowed  the years of my wandering in the desert...God allowed the hurt....and God has walked us through the repentance, the redemption and the restoration.....So I won't look back and say, "if I had only known..."

( If you know me well...I am doing the Mercy Me -  SHAKE dance right now!)  

So, if you are reading this for the first time...perhaps God will use this to OPEN your you don't have to go through the pain and the death of a marriage to be awaken ---- don't read this half- hardheartedly.  

And, after getting our time with God in order -- now work on guarding your time with your husband.  

And, after getting our time with God in order -- now work on guarding your time with your husband. 

And, after getting our time with God in order -- now work on guarding your time with your husband. 
I tease often -- "it was easier being single".  I was "single" for 6 months.  I did not have to make the bed, did not have to worry about supper -- and there is freedom in that.  However, after I tease about that -- I remember almost every night in bed alone and in tears...hugging my bible and asking God to relieve the pain.  

Now, I know there are many hurting women out there - waiting on a man -- but I pray it is only waiting on that someone to do life with and ministry with - as Jesus has to be OUR MAIN man. I say that - I realize there are many out there -- waiting on their husband  to return home for one reason or another ....hang in there -- allow God to fill that void.

In guarding that time -- sex is a major factor.
God created it.

I was reading in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7 today - and was reminded again -- about how important sex is to a marriage.  Guard that time -- make that time.

Even guarding time to listen to each other and  being sacrificial to each other -- doing something for  your spouse that took extra effort or your time.....

Guarding the time to have FUN with him.

Guarding the time to work with him on a project.

Guarding the time to just sit with him.

Figure out his love language and be that -- for him.

God commanded our men to love us --as HE loves the church.  So often our men can't love us the right way -- cause they don't love Jesus the right way.    ( that is an entire different blog)

That really struck home to me as we walked and talked.  What excites me the most now as a married woman of over 28 when I see and hear him speak to another about Jesus.  When I see and hear him pray over another younger person or with me as we pray with a couple -- if he only knew how much -- that gets to me.   He actually knows....he does..but I have to wait on God  for my husband as well --as he continues to walk in his ministry. 

You see -- I don't have to see muscles, hear romantic music, or see him in a  sexy outfit ..... I just need to see Jesus walking out in him and it is powerful.

These poor poor men -- that are so visual ......( and that is another blog post too...)

So with that -- I pray --

Lord, I got a bit personal again -- but, I believe that being real on this blog and being transparent before You and others is something you have called me to do.  For some reason Lord, I can write and tell ....and it helps.  Lord, You have seen the couples we are praying for and You have heard our cries -- as there are many hurting -- but today Lord, I pray that the wives of these men are guarding their time with You and I pray their hearts are being open to WHAT you wish to communicate to them as wives...mothers...and daughters of  YOU.  Lord, for their men -- who are being selfish, arrogant, disobedient, and immoral...God -- give them the peace that YOU are working within their hearts.  

HOLD these women, or give them the peace to move forward.  You know Lord, that  I want families whole and reunited...but in all of that -- it is them  -- they -- those that will stand before YOU one on one and each will be held accountable.  Lord for the ones you have placed on my heart and asked me to stand in the gap for.......Lord, I stand.  

Lord, for my own husband...   I pray that as he continues to seek you, read your word, and listen to You -- it will just blossom and grow and overflow into our lives...our marriage, and into our fun.  Lord, for his eyes -- may they always watch for You.  Lord, for his ears, that they only hear You.  Lord, for his steps...that they  stay on that path towards You.  I take nothing for granted Lord, it was You who opened the eyes...You who brought beauty out of ashes...  it was You Lord in strengthening my heart...and You who gets the glory.  

Lord, I want that for the many around me and the ones that read this that do not even know of me.  I WANT that for all of Your children... for my parents...for my siblings and their spouses...for my children and their spouses... God I want that -- use me Lord, but don't allow me to self-destruct in the meantime... God I don't want my work for you to overtake -- and I forget WHAT is right in front of me.  

Lord, thank you for the blessing of my friend Fran and how you used her to inspire this blog,  used her to teach me many of your concepts over the years, and how You used her to give me an affirmation ---the affirmation I needed to hear from YOU -- in YOUR perfect timing, at the perfect time and for the perfect reason.  To show and remind me -- that ALL this time -- YOU have held me.  So therefore, I can share that with another troubled one that has not faith -- nothing is wasted Lord.  Not one dinner with her and her husband...not one racquetball game and not one prayer -- Bless her Lord.   And I thank you for the blessing of my friend Charlotte who continues to encourage and how YOU use her to remind me of the most important time with YOU.  Lord, for her marriage..for her family...for her man....and for her ministry Lord. -- Use her in a mighty way, but not at the forsaking of her first goal -- You and then Donnie her divine Husband that YOU choose.  Lord, she will remind and tell people often of how an adulterous marriage is not Your will....but give her the grace and mercy to know when to share.  And use her testimony of divine healing for Your glory...and use her to speak in the lives of her daughters...and continue that legacy that Meme began in her ---  Lord, for such a time as this -- bless her Lord.  

Lord, I am humbled.  Period.  Lord, I am humbled...... humbled....  humbled...and grateful.  

Lord, for the upcoming Encounter and the women attending -- that the wives attending -- will see and experience YOU in a great and mighty way -- that they will return home to husbands...that notice something -- they notice YOU.  Lord,  help us all --to be Jesus to our spouses ...our kids...and our enemies.  
Lord that the women attending that have suffered great loss and are in deep heartache..may they see the strongholds that need to be released but also that they are HELD by YOU and realize how loved they are in YOUR sight.  Lord, for even the leaders ...that need a touch -- for if anyone of us claims that everything is perfect..we are liars...but God - that we can proclaim -- it is WELL within our souls...amen.  

Lord, for the one who thinks I hate her today -- God, orchestrate our lives and soften the heart -- as I don't, but show me what I can change and do -- so this NEVER happens again.  Lord, for the one who has taught me a whole new side of forgiveness... 

Lord, specifically for the one who is healed of cancer -- I believe YOU will use her and her husband to speak of YOUR speak of your gifts...and to speak of the power of marriage...and the power of prayer of a husband over a wife....

And Lord for the ones who think they are 'cool'...and on the right path cause they showed up.  Or Lord for the new ones like me that thought -- they were 'perfect' in  your eyes... as they walk out this wilderness -- give me the patience to wait on YOU -- and not judge or want to SMACK them... 

Lord, for the future of these blogs.....  show me how and when to write - that it is not a time waster nor does it become an idol.  I am sick of idols.  Lord -- You are first.  Bren is 2nd...  my kids are 3rd and the ministry you have given me is 4th...and I know that -- help me to keep it all in perspective.  Lord, empty me of me......fill me with You -- In Jesus name.  

Monday, November 23, 2015

Prayerful walking -- no emotional walking. Part II

Psalms 149.4  - The Lord delights in his people -- you -- he crowns the humble with victory. 
 Thoughts by me:  God truly wants and has the BEST plan for each and every one of us.  Period.  Many many many times we think we can see the BEST and yet -- that is not what His Word confirmed and it is not our BEST, but our flesh is so lonely or weak, or just blind to what HE his plan. 
Ecclesiastes 7.9 - Control your temper; for anger labels you a fool.  
 Thoughts by me:  It is ok to be angry -- we must not sin in our anger.  I get upset.  Not all the time, but as my counselor has said, my Pastor has said, and what I know -- I am passionate.  I am passionate to see women set free from years of strongholds and bondage.  I am passionate to see prayer working.  I am passionate to see ones humble themselves and SEEK God.  I am passionate about marriage and families.  I am passionate to do the work or be the messenger that the Lord has commanded me to be.  

However, with that passion -- I must grace out much patience, mercy and allow God to bring the justice.  My dear Pastor friend reminded me yesterday -- Mercy triumphs justice.    

It is hard at just sit and put a smile on my face -- and 'fake' my emotions.  
 God's word:  Galatians 5 The Message (MSG) ( I highlighted what the Holy Spirit highlighted in me.)
The Life of Freedom.Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.4-6 I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything.    My thoughts:  When we "think" we know God's will and when we really do know God's will.  
What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.7-10 You were running superbly! Who cut in on you, deflecting you from the true course of obedience? This detour doesn’t come from the One who called you into the race in the first place. And please don’t toss this off as insignificant. It only takes a minute amount of yeast, you know, to permeate an entire loaf of bread. Deep down, the Master has given me confidence that you will not defect. But the one who is upsetting you, whoever he/she  is, will bear the divine judgment. ( This is me:  In the End...  God will judge.  And if that one or many who hurt me..hurt you...hurt my children....they will see God.  I won't be their judge or jury - nor will have I to account for them.  But I do have to account for actions.)   13-15 It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?16-18 My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness.   ( This is me:  No matter who you sugar coat it -- justify it or explain it away -- there is selfishness in us.  Period. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?19-21 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time:  ( As I read this list over and over -- I repent, cry, hurt, and want anyone that reads this or listens to my come before Jesus and seriously look at this list!) repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

True freedom -- being able to walk in freedom and know that you know God has you in HIS hands --------------and no matter what -- HE will make things right.  
Prayerfully walking - rather than emotional walking in that freedom.  
Seeking help -- Seeking counsel.  
Coming under spiritual authority.

These are ALL phrases and thoughts spinning in my head right now. 

I can only speak of my own situation -- but when the Lord allowed a major heartache to be revealed, I sat back and got angry and mad.  And I had a few ugly months where I destroyed physical things and if you were close - you got an earful.  I spewed to some that I NEVER should of opened up to.   But I was VERY careful not to spew it out on Face Book or to ALL...I choose a few close friends.   Somehow I just knew...if my marriage would be restored - there would be much I would have to correct ...and if we did not make it matter what -- that man was the father to my children.  I was NOT going to stand before God and have God look at me and say, "michelle, why did you NOT do what I asked?".  
That was the motivation for showing grace and mercy -- cause THAT is what God clearly had said to me.  

 God actually brought me a few new friends -- that knew NOTHING about me....and that was refreshing, as they always spoke life to me and about me...and about the person that was hurting me.  
I sought godly counsel -- and I listened and DID what they suggested - prayerfully.  When I did not want to -- I called them to pray. 
I also sought professional help - and I listened to WHAT she stated to do -- we both did.  It was was NOT easy took over a year of counsel.  

Insanity is doing the SAME stuff over and over -- in a marriage that has been a marriage that has suffered a loss and in a marriage where vows were broken.... you can't put a band-aid on it.  You can't say 'I am sorry, and you are forgiven' and expect it to remain perfect.  There is a sweet spirit there -- and the Lord will cover you -- but HE asks us to change.....  

One piece of advice or thought process our Therapist stated and we quote often -- "an affair is a symptom"  of other problems.  Drinking and taking some drugs or pills to 'numb' the pain is a symptom of other problems and add that to a marriage....ouch.  

When we prayerfully walk out our healing with counsel - godly and professional - and we take the time to MAKE the necessary changes of our own behavior -- I believe we can see  and I  have seen restoration.  

When we allow our emotions to do the healing and the counseling...I have seen changes...but changes that did not last.  Changes that hurt. 

Humbly seek willing to come under authority of a Pastor /Counselor and follow their suggestions.  And if it is not working...go back to that Counselor and seek God and that person....many times... it takes some major surgery to fix a problem.....  there is a cost....  we think nothing of the cost to run to an emergency room to get help....why not RUN to a therapist that CAN be a new set of eyes.... and allow them to help - change the habits.  

The bottom line is -- I don't think some people WANT change. 
I don't believe that some WANT to do the HARD. 

People want QUICK fixes...  God can do that- but many times takes time.  
HIS timing is perfect.  

God is the God of second chances...and God will heal a humbled heart...  HE crowns the humble.... but His word also says -- HE labels one that can't control their anger -- as a fool.  

God is just. 
God is love.....and God is good....but HE is just.  
Exodus 14.14 - says that HE will fight for you -- God will....we must let God fight our battles...

Love covers a multitude of sins... and we must always forgive.  
But we must also do the HARD.  
I am not completely convinced that God releases us from a 'bad marriage'.  God's Word speaks about adultery, being left and abandoned, and physical abuse... 

But this is between God and the party involved.   The decision has to be made with God.  

Sometimes the decision is made for you.  You are divorced because the other person basically 'got it through' the legal system.  To me -- that may still not release you.    Each and every one of us will stand before God one day -- I don't want to be wrong.  

So, I won't argue if one believes ...'they have been released'.... but there is still healing that needs to occur.   If you have been abused or had a major rejection -- how can you be 'fine'?  Again..... there should be time for healing.  Healing can come quickly -- but it has been my experience that it takes some time.  

For example, even a person that has dealt with several years of alcohol abuse -- has major problems at first transitioning back into the social scene.   So, why would it not take time for some real healing to occur -- to transition back into the dating scene ...or back into the social scene as a single.  
But if God has NOT released you -- DO what God says... You will stand before Him one day - and You will have to account for your actions...what will you say?  

Lord....use these words this eve...I pray YOU will be glorified.  
In Jesus name...amen.  
- Humbled...
Lord, I pray that the one reading this or the many -- read with an open head and heart and ask themselves....  Are they walking in the Spirit ...with You in the lead - or are they emotional walking.  Lord, for the marriages that this touches...  that they will get the help needed to vent, share ideas and have some prayer warriors to meet with.  Lord, use the ones around them to guide and support them.  Lord, for the one trying to make sense of the divorce papers.....   speak to him or her.  Lord, for the one being abused --- show her or him, what to do and give them direction.  Lord, for the one that has just been left....abandoned.... move and show her or him....that You are right there -- in support.  In Jesus' name,