Monday, December 30, 2019

Faith over Feelings Blogged prayer #29 - an OLIVE branch

This precious Olive has changed me.  See you in heaven!  

 Two short weeks ago, there was a post on Instagram that grabbed my attention and it changed me.  It was from a mother, seeking prayer for her 2 year old daughter.  Earlier that day, in worship, I had a moment with God and I wrestled.  

Would I truly GIVE everything for HIM?
What did Christ do?  

We were all in the JOY of the moment - preparing out hearts and homes for Christmas and I was dumbfounded at the request of this family.  

Not that I didn't have the faith to believe that INDEED, God could raise her from the dead - but would he?  

They were requesting a miracle for their baby girl.  A precious young life, named Olive Heiligenthal.   

They wanted an  AWAKENING. 

 I searched social media and tried my best to find out EVERY detail.  It stopped me cold for a good 2 days.  I wanted answers and God .... God... HOW can this be WHAT is consuming me?  

It consumed me because I have a little girl close to me that will be TWO on Sunday.  It consumed me because anytime a child is lost 'way before his or her time' - it hurts and we want answers. 

  It consumed me because God asked or called me to intercede for that family and I could feel pain and hurt and hopelessness.  

 I found myself thinking, "well, if she is on life support - then God can awaken her".  

I rationalized that.  It made sense to my brain.  Then I found out that she was in a Coroner's office. 

 THEN I found myself feeling HOPELESS again.  Why?  


The hopelessness lasts only moments.  It comes and goes as I seek Jesus and am reminded by Holy Spirit that indeed - GOD is good.  She is in heaven -- period.  THAT is indeed good and the ultimate outcome.  

I read several editorials on the situation.  Watched for updates and saw a firestorm of opinions.  Those in support and those claiming this 'false worship and church' was crazy.  

After a week, Bethel Church in Redding California put out a statement and video as to the 'why' they were having nightly services of prayer and worship and expecting a miracle.  

Finally -- I was getting some 'peace'. 

 Her mother, Kalley, is a worship leader and song writer.  Through the Holy Spirit, she has written some very present and meaningful worship songs that help me see HOPE and light in this dark world.  I have rested while listening to her sing -- a worship song over and over.  

I have prayed with women at an Encounter Weekend, resting in the words of "Ever Be" and "Spirit Move" and currently she has a new album out with more gut wrenching lyrics that will mean EVEN more as she begins a tour in January -- well, I state that but maybe she won't go on tour.  Grieving.  

Olive's home was spared over a year ago when the California wildfires consumed the homes all around hers and it caused both Olive's mom and her father to question and seek their Heavenly Father for more and an album was recently released with more gut wrenching lyrics that bring comfort, hope, and cause is to dig deep.  

Do we love and serve our Lord for WHAT HE does for us or for HE did for us... opened heaven.  
Died on that Cross so that we might live.  

Are we only serving because of the provision and all the good?  

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ( KJV) 
1  To every thing there  is a  season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; 
2   A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 
4   A time to weep , and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5   A time to cast away stones, and time to gather stones together; a  time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6   A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7   A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 
8   A   time to love, and a time to hate; a time of wart, and a time of peace. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time. 


As Brendan and I prayed, my sister shared with me that she too prayed a Lazarus prayer after her son, my nephew, Blake passed.  Maybe I knew this and had forgotten. I have NO doubt that I wouldn't pray the very same thing -- if a child around me died.  Now.  Too soon.  

  I have a nephew that did come back from death.  His momma found him unresponsive and not breathing and by God's divine appointment - she gave him CPR and got him breathing as the ambulance arrived.  Moments later the enormity of the situation is realized.... Did she  change  God's plan?     No -- I believe Zander will be a walking testimony  - to tell others of what the enemy tried to kill and HOW  God intervened.  

 Back to Olive and her family -- Brendan and I also took comfort in the fact that 'their grieving'...was reaching millions.  Thousands were having an awakening as they sought God and questioned and wondered. 

 There is nothing wrong with questioning our Lord - HE wants a relationship with us, to speak back and forth through prayer -- His Word and His gathering of the Body. 

 So, we grieved and prayed with her - through song.  God gifted her, gifted that body of believers with a mission,  and why shouldn't they seek God.  As Bill Johnson  ( Senior Pastor of Bethel Church ) stated, "we don't have a manual on this, we are taking it one moment at a time."  I felt that was true courage.  To boldly seek God for the answers and what to do.  

I recalled this morning when I sat on a sweet child's bed.  Her name was Rebekah.  We prayed and I had such a yearning to declare LIFE - so I did!    Many declared that she would be healed a 7th time from cancer.  And it was a hard blow to hear that she was healed -- in heaven.  She got up and walked into the arms of Jesus that fateful July day.... in all of our prayers, the enemy wanted to shame and tell us we were defeated and stupid for believing in a miracle.  

We were not.  God won.  

In cleaning out some stuff and making room over this holiday season, I came across something that I found back in December of 2009.  Not knowing at the time - but Beth Moore was seeking medical treatment  for cancer and from the doctor's stand point, they were preparing for the worst. 

  She wrote this -- and it HIT me so squarely between the eyes -- that I copied it and read it daily for several months back in 2009.   I even included it in my Christmas letter that year.  

I am sharing it again  -  because God had me FIND it in HIS timing, as it brought words to me that I couldn't express, but needed to read.    Over the past two weeks, He has been forming this blog in my head and heart.  This finding --  It brought closure to this Olive Awakening -- God does that. 

 He brings us peace and answers through His Word, through prayer and through godly counsel.  His timing is always best.   I believe, therefore, it is time for me to blog. 

This is from Beth Moore's Blog - back in December of 2009:  

"There is no way  I can emphasize strongly enough that the outcome of the story I am about to share with you has nothing to do with God's extravagant love for me, the right kind of praying, or the fact that "He's not finished with me yet."  

He loves us ALL extravagantly, whatever  the outcome of medical tests.  He does not play favorites.  He hears EACH desperate cry and esteems the groanings of our souls. 

He doesn't let our lives be touched or even ravaged by disease because we didn't get our words exactly right or because we yelped, "Help my unbelief!".

  He is not a mean, distant God playing Monopoly with human lives.  

And He's not finished  with a single one of us or we wouldn't be drawing terrestrial air in  our lungs and coursing our eyes over words on a computer screen.

  The fact is, He has a sovereign plan that is for good and not evil and He is writing a story of on -going redemption with each of our lives.  Our lives are woven together through seasons.

It is one person's season to experience this.  And another person's season to experience that.  Neither is loved more.  Neither is more dispensable."  

Olive Heiligenthal made a tremendous impact on MANY in her two short years.   Her family has shown me and others - to grieve-- in their own way --  that will help others.  Since then, I have seen two other families on social media asking for prayer for their little ones.  Why are these 'sudden infant crib deaths' arising again?  Many have their opinions -- but indeed, God is writing their story.   

Since then, I have prayed for protection and life over my own two granddaughters with an ever more present urgency. 

 If God's plan for them is a long life -- amen.  If in His Kingdom plans, they see Jesus before me, I will  be  ----changed -- but, I know that I know, God is not mean.  No one is more loved cause of this or that.  I know that no one is dispensable.  I know that HE will bring beauty out of the ashes.    I know that I know, I will meet Olive one day - and the many others that  left this earth too soon.  

Today -- there are several families that I thought of as I wrote.  Many are dealing with the death of a loved one and its hurts.  It still hurts and for several it has been several years.   One family  in particular, in on my heart almost daily,  as this family is walking in a new season and it is HARD.  

 The after affects -- especially during the holiday of Christmas when so much is focused on the birth of a child and the HOPE that Jesus brings.  

Today - there are  several women I know, grieving the loss of a marriage because of a husband who is choosing to listen to the enemy instead of the Word of God.  They see their present circumstance and wonder HOW God is going to meet their needs, hold their hearts, and guide them.  And there is not only women -- there are several men that my husband and I have lifted before Jesus as they too seek to HOLD their marriage together as the enemy continues to 'seem' to get victory.  

And today,    there are just life decisions and circumstances for several others  where 'olive branches' need to be offered and they are not. 

 Unforgiveness that has such a hold onto and into families that needs to be brought to the light and needs reconciliation.  But.. in God's timing.  In the right season.  Waiting  meanwhile and watching is hard -- but we can't go ahead of God.  Sometimes in our waiting -- that is where WE are healed and SEE more.   May we always SEE others through YOU Lord and the blood that was shed on the Cross.  

So for this - I end in prayer -- 

Lord, to the whomever  that reads this - may they know and understand that YOU SEE them.  May those around them, SEE as well and may the followers of Christ around them, ACT and be Your immediate hands and feet of hope.  

Lord, for me -- this blog today is a prayer for ME. YOU know what the enemy bombarded me with this am - early and YOU know what I took to the Cross.  May this transparency help others - and may this cause another to pray -- for that HARD stuff.    

May this blog - reach THOSE  YOU want today and may their receive it and act.  And Lord, I pray that this would be shared - that YOU would get the glory and the understanding would come from the Holy Spirit.  

Lord, for the Heiligenthal family and the people surrounding them at Bethel and in the world -- may their faith GROW stronger.  For those that WANT answers - please provide the WHY in this death for them, and for the rest of us, let us be satisfied that we don't have to have all of the answers.  

Lord, for the ones around me and reading this that NEED to extend that olive branch  - may they have courage and may they proceed even when it is not reciprocated.  

And Lord, that we would have faith over our feelings.  That indeed as Beth reminded me this week --  YOU don't DO stuff to us or for us because we need an adjustment in our UNBELIEF.  That YOU are not mean and don't play Monopoly with our lives.   Lord, may we be aware that we are still here and breathing for YOUR purpose and YOUR sovereign plan is for good and not evil.  


Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Merry CHRISTmas 2019

Good morning, it is 3am here in Florida this Christmas morn.  "Old bones" and a husband who has been hit with a BAD cold has me up and ready for the day.  However.... there are no presents to wrap or food to make -- so, let me write my Christmas Letter.  Finally.
Wise men still seek them.  

Whoa -- can we say, I procrastinated a bit?  
  I went to last year's letter for some inspiration.  WHOA again. Insert that emoji where the person is thinking!  

Who wrote that? 

 I was on a roll -- ready to convince you to start sending Christmas cards,   reminding  you that God wins,  and  wanted to inform you of  a year's worth of news and memories all in a 2000 word essay!!  Did you read it last year?   If you did - bravo!  THAT was LONG!  Maybe too long!  

WE cleaned up pretty !   Washington DC - July! 
I was exhausted just reading it again this am!  If you wanted to read our adventures - here is a link for last year: 

But...please come back for this year!  I won't be as wordy this time.  

Christmas 2018

So, it is Christmas morning. 

 I spent a sweet and 'slow' day yesterday ( Christmas EVE )  making cookies, wrapping the presents that were delivered, praying, and I delivered some presents as well.  I also opened about six Christmas cards and LOVED each one.  I have to admit -- opening an old fashioned card brings me joy!  

  I also got on Facebook --often --and enjoyed EACH and every photo placed there by sweet and dear family and friends as they shared their trees, their family photos and adventures, and their greetings. 
June wedding, My niece , Taylor and Ava

 Already this am - early, many of YOU have posted and I am going to be intentional and LOVE them.  I admit - I LOVE social media.  I can comment, speak and not be 'face to face' I am sort of a couch potato and hermit like my husband.  I can also reach out to many more through many avenues and THIS can be a good thing ... and yet the enemy loves to use it as a bad thing.  

   Now I am sure many of you are saying -- "ya right - chell a couch potato??"  Well - I am.   I admit, I go 100% for a LONG time and then I sit.  A lot.   Anyway -- let's move on.  

By the way - THANK you for opening this up and seeing into our lives for this brief moment.  Thank you for loving and caring enough about us to read and then comment.  And thank you for prayers you breathe over us here and there throughout the year -- God is faithful and good.  

My dad is now 75 and "officially" retired.  
So, how are you this AM? 
 I pray that as you are reading this, you are in a happy spot, enjoying family and that maybe you even had some time already to enjoy some of God's goodness through music and worship, His Word, or even some corporate fellowship time in church!    
I just want to take this moment right at the beginning of this epistle and say:
 Brendan and I prayed this am that YOU and YOURS would enjoy the holiday with God's grace and mercy.  May the season help us all to love better, see more, and hear each other in a better light and way that brings goodness and JOY.  And may we each learn to LOVE like Jesus -- even the hard days... we pray that for ourselves and for our family and friends.  
Last night Bren went to get gas and ended up meeting a family whose car broke down.  Everyone was very upset.   VERY LONG story short -- it was a blessing to help this family and at 2am, we got a text stating that Bren didn't have to take the guy to work at 3:30 am -- God provided a temporary car!   I know that Bren would say, "why did you share that?".  Well, Bren's selfless actions on Christmas Eve reminded me  - to be thankful.  I was a bit put off for a few moments, questioning the situation.  I mean, we live in a crazy world...but as we prayed and God gave peace, what a blessing it was to help this precious family.   God has a way of doing that often  -- speaking to me through my spouses actions.  God is so merciful and sweet and indeed, the holiday season is not the only time we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  So, with that -- may you SEE more opportunities to be those hands and feet -- as the blessings are immeasurable.  
Our Precious Bella- she  was 14, a beloved dog, and  needed to see Jesus before us.  We miss her.  
Ok, now for the Pritchard updates -- no more 'preaching' or trying to SHOVE the Good News down your throats.  And I pray that is not how you perceive this Christmas letter.  I just WANT what I see and experience daily from our Lord for you -- I know many of us are in some VERY HARD circumstances and situations.  Life on this earth at this time is hard.  God didn't intend it to be this way, but even in our struggles  - we have seen JESUS come riding in on his glorious white horse and fight for us  -- HE will do that for you too. We just need to submit and place it at the Cross.  I pray this makes sense.  If not - PM me.  Let us pray for you in 2020.  
Ava, all of 4 now!  
HP and Ava watching Nemo! 
Our word for 2020 -- well, to be honest, Bren is still praying about his ( ours).   I know mine ... clarity.  2020 will be a clarifying year.  A year to see clearly what God is doing and where is He moving so that I can get RIGHT there with Him with a boldness like never before.  

After church - hold her hand!  
All dressed up for a Gatsby fundraiser!  
 Updates:  Our daughter, Taylor and Jake will enjoy a special vacation in Hawaii in January thanks to Young Living Oils.  Yep -- we are 'those' people.  She works at the Insurance Office and SJ's daycare is a block from our home.  She stops by often, Bren and her have MANY lunch dates, and we usually go and pick up SJ or Sawyer Jane at least 2-3x a week for an hour and enjoy her company.  SJ will be TWO in a week or so.  January 5th.  She is full of life, spunk, and is VERY strong willed.  She is a blast and I am so looking forward to later today,  when we can see that excitement as the presents are opened!

  What fun.  Her sister,  Ava,   was 4 in November.  WHAT a joy she is as well.  They are typical sisters, loving on each other one moment and then you need to pay close attention as one has some toy or something the other one wants.  Supervision!    Both kids love their "uncle Hunteee" and its just a BIG joy and blessing for me to see him interact with them both.  Ava is very bright and forgets NOTHING.  She loves to be outside and  loves her daddy!  Both girls are athletes and LOVE to run and are constantly moving! 

Me being silly at JM Conference!
I was sitting on Christine Caine's chair - getting blessed. 
 Jake, our son - n - love, continues to teach and coach ! He is involved with weight training and football.  ( Taylor still coaches Volleyball and we enjoy the games!)  Ava's school is now at Jake's school and THAT makes life so much easier as he is RIGHT there to check on and  sneak in lunch dates with her!  He also works with youth at their church and they both enjoy their community of friends and family!  We get together OFTEN and there are always many laughs.

  And dancing to Baby Shark...AND toys that make a mess... And cookie dough... and ......
Bren's folks!  

 His folks live right next door to us- so family meals are a treat, happen  often,  and EASY! Will and Kerry are so sweet!  If you saw the photos - we had almost 50 for our OUTDOOR Thanksgiving this year!   What a blast to experience God's bountiful harvest of GOOD food with family, neighbors, and friends.  Before I forget, this must be mentioned: 
  I admire Jake for being a man among all the estrogen within his home -- I pray always  -  that his girls will  see Jesus in him ( their daddy)  as he continues to grow towards more knowledge and understanding of God and His Word.  

3 generations! 

She is a HAM! Here she is in July.... growing FAST. 

Here she is 2 weeks ago - such a lady! 

Yes, she was sitting on her.  WE all loved Bella. 
Jim and Sandy's Grand kids... all except 4- I think.  And 3 great grands missing too! 
Hunter continues to work at Grant Thornton, he has been blessed with many good friends and is making new ones as he grows and gets connected to his community around him.  Life Church is a favorite spot of ours to visit and recently Hunter joined and has  gotten  involved in their  Life.Kids stuff.  He's  met new friends, enjoyed new a  life group, and when he gets home to visit, we relish the time and his stories.  He still walks one dog for a lady named Jeanne.  She adores Hunter  and his company.  We tease him that we 'need to meet her'.  She is 87 I think!   HP  is a CPA- an -  A2 - or Audit, 2nd year and he shares about the  Seniors ahead of him that that  he works with and learns from.  He is well into  working  up that 'ladder'.  His clients and work has allowed him to travel this past year.  Boulder, Chicago, San Antonio, and Pittsburgh have been destinations.  He is busy - getting ready to enter his busy season of 50 hour weeks. This is for a season and he is already looking ahead.    We have enjoyed his education and expertise at the Insurance Office --it  is such a blessing to SEE the fruit of what he went to school for.

  However - he works long hours!  He recently went  hunting for the first time in Wisconsin  and now, wants to plan some hunting trips.  It was pretty comical to hear him google and watch You Tube videos on "how to cut a deer" - he has the bug.  

HELP or Hunter Edwin Lowell Pritchard was named after some strong men.  It is kind of funny, prophetic,  and sweet to see what a "help" he has been to several this past year.  Including me.  He is very wise -- and it warms this momma's heart to experience that and see that.  I don't take it for granted -- knowing that many loved ones I know are praying for THAT in their sons.  I would say -- keep praying - God will answer!   Prayer does work! 

Bren and me.

  We are good. Really good.  This season is  such a fun one!

 We are empty nesters now - fully, as we had to put Bella down last month. THAT. WAS. HARD. She was 14, blind, and deaf but loved us so well.  Yet, she was having some type of seizures.  Choking.  I just knew it was time.  I avoided it for a good month, but.... 
So when you look good and you know it - you take selfies.  Sorry -- we had a blast! 

  Bren was in Wisconsin so I had the  job, but praise God for a Father-N- Law that came to my rescue and picked her up to be buried.  We cried.  I cried for 3 days - she was a loyal companion.  And I do believe I will see her in heaven.  Why not?!!  

   We, Bren and I,  are older -- so --  Taylor has us on some YL stuff ( that RED drink)  that INDEED does help our tired bones and joints. Really.    We go to the gym, try to eat right, and enjoy our grand kids. We do.  

twins - Taylor seems to LOVE that hair style! 
  We have fun. Recently, we splurged and got ourselves a Street Glide Special.  We were out yesterday, it was 59 and that wind was cold but it was a blast.  We did a TOY run a few weeks ago and just enjoyed Florida's beautiful country roads and weather.  Indeed, we know why this has been home for 32 years!  

 Bren works full time now at the Insurance Office and travels a lot with the other offices.    I am still teaching, Year 32!  I do love my job - it is a mission field and I am blessed by the opportunities I get to experience and the little lives I get to pray for and speak into.  

My dad is 75!  All of us siblings except JJ and Britt
We enjoyed several trips this year - the highlight was a wedding in Wisconsin and our trip to Washington DC.  If you follow my on FB - then there is NO need for this Christmas letter, you saw that I LOVED the Museum of Art, the SPY Museum was a blast,  and I especially LOVED Mount Vernon. 

 WE also enjoyed some REAL pampering at the Trump Hotel.  And had to rent a tux and get dressed up for a STATE dinner -- we even toured the White House.  Memories and fun!  

 We had several visits from friends and family, went to see friends, and just enjoyed being a family with the grand kids. One particular special trip for me was --  a SISTERS weekend with my 3 sisters and niece last  October. We  experienced the culture and history of Charleston South Carolina, the USS Yorktown, and laughs of being together.  We had not done that since...... well...... um... never before in that capacity!  We are planning to do that again in Denver in 2020!  Look out Aunt Gloria - we are coming for YOU!  What a blessing that was!!   

  We also have been excited because   God moved us to our 'home' church.

  LOL.  Bren and I prayed for the M2L planting some 15 years ago and in January of this year -- Bren came home from a funeral and looked at me and said, " we are suppose to be attending M2L".  "We are?",  was my response and we prayed and returned to Highpoint Church one more Sunday to make sure.  Yep, God confirmed it.  

Sisters -- more jumping on the BUNKS! 
 We had prayed about attending  M2L  MANY times over the past 15 years.  We visited a few times.   We  - ourselves  - did our own thing within those 15 years, but when God got a hold of us both-- ten years ago-- much began to change.  

Anyway, in the past ten years, we have prayed about WHERE God wanted us, WHERE He can work through us, and HOW we were to serve.  WE loved FOL for its season and when God moved us to His Church, we cherished that as well.  

My REAL Monet! 
On a plane... excited to enjoy God's blessings!  
 We have seen SO much of HOW God moves and WHAT He is doing in the body of Christ.  And it has been AWESOME!    And, as you can tell by my letter -- THIS IS important to us.  We live for eternity -- not this temporary life.  However,  2018 He moved us to a beautiful body of Christ and allowed us to just rest and refresh. We attended Highpoint Church in PSL for almost 9 months.    9 months is indeed significant!  Then, God moved us in January to M2L - More to Life Ministries.  Home.  The peace we have experienced there -here - is sweet. God given sweetness.    And, it has brought us new friendships and chances to mentor. Bren is challenged and excited.  It has also refreshed and rekindled some OLD friendships that took up where they left off.  IT is really a good thing.  Holy Spirit is like that.  Seasons.  Seasons of growth, seasons of change, seasons of refreshment and then seasons of MOVEMENT!  

Hunter and Zander -- the only other male grand kid on the Pritchard side!  

Watch out Satan - THESE 5 are going to WIN with God!  This weekend changed us ALL for the BETTER!  

ya... I am sharing it just once more !  We were smitten with ourselves.  

My 8 siblings and my niece and new nephew - June 2019
Nathan, Diandra, Christopher, ME, Logan, Jordan, Daryl, Jeanette, Aaron, Brittan and Trevor
Merry Christmas!  

 THAT something we WANT everyone to experience.  God is good.  HE is sweet.  The enemy is a liar and our hearts hurt often for many around us and we pray.  But God shows us quickly that HE loves "them" as much as HE does us ...and HE will make a way for them as well.  We just pray "they" will allow God in and to have FULL control.  

So, Bren just asked -- "what are you doing?  Writing a book?"  
Well, maybe.  

There is so much more to update -- but.  My folks are good.  Still working part time and Bren's folks are still working too.  Marilyn was 80 this year!  Lowell will be 80 in 2020 -- and is going to retire.  But I think the works keeps them ALL vital and going !   My mom will celebrate 75 in July of 2020 and my dad will be 76.  Bren and I turn 54 this coming year -- WHOA...... I remember when I thought 40 was old!  

My siblings and their families are good -- God allows trials and tribulations and it has been an amazing year to see HOW He works among them. There have been tears of saddness and joy.  I marvel at how we are all still pretty healthy and kicking!  My siblings -   they are very important to me -- many of us are SO different and yet, we are cut from the same cloth and enjoy the best in each other.   And their spouses -- JUST as important as family!   All of them!  Still.  Bren has a sister and brother - here.  Our kids may know them and see them a bit more cause of the proximity, but their Wisconsin Aunts and Uncles are right up there!   I have 'taken' my grands home the past two summers -- so that the WI family can GET to know them as well.  I did that for YEARS with my own kids.  Had to bribe my kids here and there to remember their WI family names, but now -- it warms my heart to see the friendships and love that interacts between them all.  

 The BIG news was --  2 graduations from WHS  ( Dayton and Kitty ) and a wedding -- Jordan and Logan ( Daryl's oldest).  She and her hubby are in Italy!   So, that is a GOAL for 2021!  To Visit!   Logan is in the Air Force.  Jeanette and I moved to FL some 30 years ago, Nate located to Neehan WI, Brittan is in Nebraska-- so for Jordan to MOVE to Italy ...newsflash - it was a BIG deal.  However, I think we ARE all enjoying living the 'European life' through her FB and Insta posts.  The rest ...are all still in WTTN.  A very sweet town filled with memories and Mullins ice cream!  

My family -- see my mom and dad...?
 Only a few are missing, Ryan ( Brittan's hubs), Craig, Cali, Jordyn, JJ's Grands, Blake,  Jake,  Trev's Tanner, Jared and Cora
What a beautiful day and wedding, Thank you Anne, Gino, Daryl and Tiffany for blessing us!  
Ok, it is TIME to wrap this up.  

We have family and extended family - fighting cancer, diagnoses, and addictions.  
We have prayer requests for marriages and healing. 
We have friends that need the touch of Jesus. 
We have friends and family that we pray for daily -- cause we want them to SEEK Jesus - life would be different if they would -- but we can't WANT it more than them.  

God is good. 

He is merciful and kind. 
There is a lot of YUCK -- but, we have experienced WHAT HE can resurrect with a humbled and repentant  heart.  

May this letter leave you feeling good -- to know that God is at work.  

May this letter leave you knowing a little more about our lives and may that be a good thing.  

But goodness -- I pray, may this letter leave you WANTING more...

More from Our Lord to fix...  again - I want the BEST God has for you - weather you are old or young.  Whether you are a dear and close pal or a distant cousin or friend catching up.  

If you took the time to read ALL of this -- I am thinking you love us.  So thank you

Thank you 
Thank  you -- really thank you--
        -- and we are a praying family - and we WILL covet prayers for YOU.  Just PM me and let me know.  
Yes, the paci is going in 2020...along with the diapers!   But she chews her fingers and is teething again!  

May 2020 be a year of clarity for you -- 
May YOU see God's goodness and GRACE today - Christmas Day the day we celebrate and remember HOW God sent HIS son.  

Merry Christmas -  Michelle     and Brendan sends his greetings too --( it is now 6 am.  He is hacking up a hairball -- cough.  You could pray for him, he has been looking forward to watching the girls open their gifts LONGER and with MORE anticipation than I have been.  this G-man or Grandpa thing has become sweet to see IN him.  He indeed would give his life for those girls!)     

aka ... Chelly, or Chellie, or Chelle, or Chell ...Or as my son calls me, "mumzie" 
And THAT is a wrap!  Until 2020!
....or Mimi ... known  best by SJ and AVA Lynne 

Monday, December 23, 2019

Faith over Feelings #28 - GOD made me a promise.

It has been over 40 some days since I have blogged.  God is showing me many things and I have come to the point where I don't have to blog  -- and yet, I have struggled with that -- blogging is oh so something I adore and relied upon.  But frankly, the LORD has had me so busy with other stuff -- that I have not had the time.  

It's the holiday.  I have some extra time and I had forgotten that I was only at #27 of this series.  Faith over feelings.  OH MY oh MY -- this past week, I have had to OVERCOME and place faith in front of my feelings.  I AM going to blog about that tomorrow -- but this eve, I wanted to share the follow blog again about a dream I had - concerning my son.  I wrote this earlier in April.  

Today -- a few of the mom's I mention at the end -- are still praying and believing for their sons.  

Today, a mom was a bit freaked out - worried about her daughter being removed from the house by a dad who wants justice.  

In both circumstances -- I can't change what will happen - but I pray that God's will and HIS provision wins.  

So, I felt I should share this- as this dream reminded me that HE made a promise to all mothers -- and maybe this will bless you -- 

This blog refers to a song by Elevation Worship -- in the chorus is says, "He made me a promise and HE won't stop now.  Maybe you have heard of it.  

Ok - here is the blog"  

This song today -- had me at "He"... this morning in worship.

It is a song that has brought me to my knees and it has brought me to His throne.

 And as we worshiped, God ...showed me about the dream.  
I had to stop -- I had to sit at my table and write... I couldn't move my pen fast enough.  Then I snapped back up and went back to worship.  Oh how I love when the Spirit is moving so conscientiously within the worship time.  

It was quite powerful.

The dream - earlier --  It was about my son. 
Yet, I think it was for so many more. 

 He was in this beautiful room along with many former students and people that I recognized.  One of his favorite teachers was being honored.  And as many of the students got up, problem after problem occurred with their performance.   We were in this room that echoed -- and it was suppose to be this beautiful poem, presentation,  or music... you knew it wasn't ending up the way it was intended.

  It was rather sad.  I remember being confused as to why I couldn't hear what was intended.   I was there in the audience and feeling SO sad for the teacher being honored.  I could see her face and yet, it was very obscure. 

 When God gives me these types of dreams... I realize HE doesn't want me to attach a face with it means more.  So, I asked is ...... or is it...?? 
 Or Lord, let me see her face.

As I showered for Church, I sought the Holy Spirit to give me meaning and purpose of this dream as it was so real.

 Then I asked God, is it me?   Was it me there being honored and the mishaps that were happening has something to do with me?

Back to the dream, when it was my son's turn, there was an obvious - very real - mess up. He was trying to give a performance that involved some sort of a speech and he had this apparatus all over him.  I could clearly see his face and yet, something was on him or he was wearing something that just would NOT allow him to speak properly. It seems like a harness and yet, he didn't seem like he was limited by it.  It wasn't normal.  But then it felt like it was to be a part of his performance.  

 Yet, he was smiling.  I felt his heart...he was saying, "I  am trying but I can't do what you want me to do, it is not working,  I can't live up to your expectations".

Then I awoke.  Wow.   And as I said, it was so real,  so it was in my head while I got ready for church.

Until Worship when this song hit - and it came.  I believe God's answer to my prayer and questions in the shower.  

This past week, some news hit me hard.  And I mourned for someone's expectations. And yet, I realized that I had unmet expectations as well.    And I thought -- what can I do? 

 I prayed and I called upon God to help me discern or figure things out and He gently reminded me that I may not...figure it out. 

This morning, as I sang and prayed, I  saw so many moms and woman with unmet expectations while this song played.  

I thought of my own son and how his choices in the past six months have brought me to my knees in prayer and in  praise!   However, I was reminded with the dream --He has his own faith and He has his own path.  And, I can expect the Lord to answer my prayers, but that he, my son, is his own man and person - seeking the Lord.  

I am indeed grateful -- but I don't pretend to believe that everything will be easy and perfect from this point forward.  I realize it 'rains on the just and the unjust'; I don't want to speak any ill will upon my son - but I also don't believe that he will escape the enemy and his trappings.  The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy -- he is not going to leave 'our sons' alone.  

I thought of my own son- in- love and how his choices in the past  have brought me to my knees in  prayer and praise as he is seeking Jesus and His guidance with my daughter. What a man of God and God is continuing to prune him and build him.   

I am most grateful -- so, "He made me a promise..."  brings tears as I rejoice and praise God!   

And then....   

But my heart broke for a few other moms....  

I saw a mom, who recently listened to her son tell her that he "no longer loved his wife and felt God was telling him to move on".  

I saw a mom, knowing her son was committing adultery and she couldn't slap him or stop him, she had to pray it out and believe that God was controlling the situation. 

I saw a mom, knowing her son was leaving his young daughter and wife and she couldn't convince him to fight for his marriage. 

I saw a mom, getting ready for her son's third birthday and his dad was again no where to help and be the leader of the home.  She was doing this alone again. 

I saw a mom, grieving for the loss of her son so young and such a senseless death. 

I saw a mom, kneeling at the foot of a son's bed, wondering why she didn't check on him just an hour earlier -- that maybe she would of caught him struggling to breathe and he would have been saved.  

I saw a mom, kneeling at the crash site of her son -- seeking the face of Jesus and answers as to why.  

I saw a mom, entering a law enforcement area with trembling fingers just wanting to hold her son and not knowing his state of mind, but not being allowed to even hug him. 

I saw a mom, watching the plane land with the coffin of her son's body being returned to her --wondering  how and why her son was called home so quickly - only 21 years of age. 

I saw a mom, unable to protect her son from the barrage of voices and torment within his own head. 

I saw a mom, unable to hold her baby son because of choices she allowed within her life.  

I saw a mom, who eats healthy, prays, and takes hormones to help the process to become pregnant just once more and give a sibling to her other son - but it hasn't happened. 

I saw a mom, trying to wrestle with the facts that her son has made some choices that has altered his life and the life of his daughter for the rest of their lives. 

I saw a mom, trying to help a son caught up in addiction be tough and stern about getting the help he needs. 

I saw a mom, sitting by the edge of her son's bed - he hasn't eaten in five days and will meet Jesus very soon - but she has knelt there at his bed, literally for months wondering if tomorrow will come, and when  her son will take his final breath. 

I saw a mom, on her knees praying for her sons as one is about to graduate from medical school and another will be released from prison for the second time.  

I saw mom, picking her grandson up from the train station, he has come to live with her because his dad is in prison and his mom has passed and now she will raise him. 

And I saw a mom, holding the baby of her son and wondering just how she is going to live tomorrow .....   

And I saw a mom -- just staring ahead ....

I saw a mom ...hurting.....

I saw a mom...praying...

I saw a mom... holding that little one with such hope  -- 

what happened ...expectations were not met ......   

After allowing the grief from just typing these circumstances -- I MUST go to God's Word and I read the story of Easter once again.  Truly -- God knows the suffering of these moms.  

Truly , God made them a promise -- I am SO sure when they rocked their little men...they NEVER felt their lives would be  this way.  As it WAS not suppose to be this way and yet - here we are.    

And I bet, it is hard to sing and praise the Lord at some times when their sons are gone and/or hurting or there is a NEW normal -- 

and yet....that is the ONLY thing I do know to do -- to be able to face tomorrow.  As these women are all a part of the body.  

They are our neighbors.  They are our friends.  They are our work colleagues  and they are the ones whom we need to extend grace to and love.  

So the song continues ...   "I KNOW a breakthrough is coming, by faith, I see a miracle, my God made me a promise and it won't stop now".  

                                  -- Miracles happen. 

I must remind myself:  

Some how and with some way -- GOD will win and bring beauty from these ashes and God -- will redeem.

Eternally -- this life here is but a moment -- what we do here - determines our eternity.

So -- with that vision   -I will end with prayer.  

Lord, for my son -- God, YOU move mountains and YOU formed him well within my womb.... YOU have great plans for HIM.  YOU will protect him and YOU will allow what needs to happen so that, He comes to You for salvation and for life. 

 Lord, as mothers, help us  to love them and protect them but not kill them with control or manipulation....but  show us.  Help us  to intercede for our  son (s), help us to show grace and mercy and help us  to speak life - even in the darkest places. 

Lord, for the other moms that have my heart heavy today --  Lord, whether he is 5, 10, or 23...God he is YOURS.  May each of these moms truly feel Your presence and place their sons at Your feet.  Lord, that beauty would indeed come out of the ashes and that in all of the hurt -- there can be joy.  

 Thank you for the gift of my son.  
 Thank you for the gift of their sons and thank you for the ability to pray for them.  

IN Jesus Name.   Amen.   

May the only expectations I have -- is that He will serve the Lord!