Tuesday, January 8, 2019

It is 2019 and I am a bit scared.

Scared - yes.  As I am admitting that this blog is not 'prepared' nor will it be, in my opinion, polished. 

It's almost  been two months since I last blogged. 

I sort of feel like an old Catholic school kid going to Confession.  

"Father, I was last here - two months ago".  

 Back in November I was finishing up a series of prayers. 

 My Christmas letter really doesn't count - in my head, as that was just my letter for the holiday, but true blogging ....journaling  hasn't happened in a good while.  

I have missed it and have been rebelling against it as well.  

I just haven't felt the need, I haven't wanted to find the  the time, nor have I had  the want to.  

And as I type that -- I am admitting-- being transparent--- that I don't like that - I am a bit scared.   To Admit.....
Somehow, someway -- a FB post and some rebuttal back in October made me gun shy.  

I stopped believing my voice was a voice to be heard and I allowed the enemy to have me check my 'readership'.  That is where I look at the stats and compare readership from a year ago to the present.  It went down.

  My blogs were not being shared or read like they had been in the past and I allowed the enemy to say, "its time to quit"...."you have nothing much left to say".  

Bottom line - I felt people looked at any post and said, "oh here she goes again". 

Being real - 

Last night, a new group of beautiful ladies graced my home.  We began a book study.  As I prayed over the past month and made a list of whom to invite and then asked God to confirm, I wondered. 

  And last night, through tears and sweet grace as I listened to each one speak -- I knew-- HE had knit us all together.    There were a few absent, but I got my confirmation about this new group and in the middle of our time, I heard God speak to me through another   about blogging.  

I heard another say, " I am a writer". 

 And in my head, I also said, " I am a writer.".  

And as wisdom was shared among those ladies, I knew - as scared as I was to blog...I was more scared to NOT to blog.   God did give me a talent and a voice and I am to use it.  

Did that make sense?  

I am in a new and different season.  Daily bread or water from His well is relished and needed even more.  I see Him move around me and through much of my life, but I guess I just also needed a little push and reminder that my words are important too.  

I know this, God will cover what He has called me to do. 

 And so Enemy, whether one reads this or thousands - I can't listen to you.  

God wants my confidence to be in Him.  And it is... as over and over, these blogs are Holy Spirit Written and His revealed knowledge to me. 

 Yet tonight, when I felt I was a rambling - I pushed through and prayed with the  confidence that He would  cover it! 

I was asked in October - am I willing to be different?   

I was bold then and said, "of course" and yet, as the holidays came and went - I found myself thinking and saying over and over--I just want to be accepted, loved, and affirmed.   And Lord, being different is lonely.  

Weak moments.  

However, by God's Grace and Mercy - He reminds me that I am not perfect, but made perfect in my weakness by HIM....Jesus.  

I am believing that God uses this blog and my words to remind many - that God is winning and I must totally rely on Him with this blog - ALL. THE. TIME.  No more being a bit scared... 

 In Going back to that fateful day when there was a Facebook debate and rebuttal that shook  my confidence in writing and posting and thinking, I found this statement written in my journal from the Joyce Meyers Conference.  

"you will never find out if you are right, if you are not willing to be wrong".  

"If you really know your identity in Christ - you will go far - bear much - and really live."  

I know that I am wrong - more times than I care to admit to - and maybe I was right on  with whatever topic I was trying to express, but in reality -- who really cares?  

Guess What?  

God did.    God does.  He cares that I was a bit scared.  He wasn't surprised. 

He was proud of me - standing on His Word.  
He , along with the great cloud of witnesses, go before me.  

He knew  I was going to blog this eve.  
He knew I would be obedient - as it would of been easier to crawl into bed and just put this off, ONE MORE NIGHT.   

But - I was obedient.  

Maybe another this eve  is a bit scared as well - 

-maybe because they compare their lives to Social Media and feel like a failure 
-maybe because their glasses were eaten up by their dog today and they have           no extra funds to get them repaired
- maybe because her son is turning  18 today and she felt her life was SO going to be in a different place and it is not
-maybe she just lost her husband of over 20 years to Jesus and she is now really struggling with the grief and his memories and what to do tomorrow
- or maybe she is just really scared that she totally messed up a relationship and it doesn't see that it can be repaired --

You know what -- God does.  He knows.  

Lord, for the one or thousands reading this tonight - may we all trample that enemy and remind him that he has NO authority within our thoughts or actions.  Lord, help us to be a voice for you - help me to be obedient and please continue using me to speak truth.    Lord, for this blog - may it be a blessing, not a waste of time for the one reading.  And I thank you and praise you for Your Word - where ALL truth can stand  - IN Jesus name, Amen.  

Sunday, December 9, 2018

It's Christmas in Pritchardville - 2018

It is here.
November - the original 4! 

 That time of the year to create the  FAMOUS Christmas letter and attach the family photo (s).

  For MANY MANY years, this was my pride and joy and I looked forward to the  letter that turned into an epistle that I wrote and assumed  it was treasured  by each and every person who read it.   WE do enjoy every Christmas card and Brendan  will note as it they arrive, but  he knows  that  I get to open them first,  as I am the one who worked so hard to creating and  sharing the annual Christmas letter.  ( In fact, our first Christmas card came today -- Shelley Mallow  -- what a treasure it was to receive it from you!! - Thank you!  I am humbled by it. )    This yearly event became an idol and a chore for some time and yet, I am thankful I shared and sent, because at those times those letters were from my heart. God knows our hearts.  Many times, even when we get it wrong or speak of something that offends.....it comes back to the state of our hearts and our intentions.  Even when we overshare, God looks at our hearts and its grace upon grace.   
Sister time - this past July! 
Sawyer Jane arrived on January 5th, 2018 
Sweetness.... A few weeks old... Ava Lynne and SJ
Just the other day -- our 'fall' weather and Ava is 3! 

Sister time... October 2018 

Of course SJ needed Mullins in Wisconsin! 

Thanksgiving 2018 
 That annual  letter --  it shared the joys of the years and informed everyone what we were doing. I guess it was really some of my first blogs.  I felt it was a way for me to share the news of Christmas and the birth of Jesus as well.  And it would give me the chance to show HOW perfect our lives were.  

Well, they were not perfect but they could  protray  the life I wanted  to portray the life I wanted.   Now, I am not bashing my Christmas letters of the past,  but for many years I lived  on or got my affirmation from the approval of man and public praise. In the past 7-8 years so much has changed. 

Hunter and SJ - Easter 2018 
And yet...somethings never change.  

Therefore the more compliments received  on my letter or the more likes  just fueled my own little ego at the time!  I don't believe I am at that place anymore.  ( looking for others to fuel my ego )  Quite honestly, God has been weaning me off of that public praise and affirmation for almost 2 full years-- it has been a slow process and I don't feel I am THERE yet, but I am closer today than I was TWO years ago!!  

 I honestly could skip the tradition  of sending a Christmas card and letter this year  and  I wouldn't suffer rejection or depression from it.  I am not over it, its just that I won't allow it to stress me out.   However, receiving Christmas cards still delights me to no end and  maybe just maybe this letter will  delight you.  As  much as I do enjoy my family, I do enjoy sharing our joys and sorrows but mostly I delight in sharing  WHAT  God has done this past year and HE gets all  the glory. 

This is US...   March 2018
  Over the years, I have noticed that  many are no longer sending cards but sending greetings other ways -- and that is perfectly fine -- no judgement. I am trying to communicate that this tradition of reaching out and communicating with others at Christmas dates me way back to when I was a kid.  My parents would spend the week after Christmas visiting their friends  and we'd play with their kids and we'd enjoy their Christmas gifts and their holiday treats and it was a time I still remember fondly. 

 It was face to face time ...  I do believe our world is getting away from that. If we can text rather than call...we do it.  If we can send a gift, rather than attend a shower or  be present at a wedding, we do that.  If we can avoid personal contact for some reason...I do find we often chose that more.  I have.  I do.   It may even been that we choose to spend less time with God in His Word and we'd rather watch someone tell us about when he or she was in God's Word.   Sharing their revelation. 

Our Canada trip and new friends.  
Whoa - wow -- my Christmas letter turned into a  preachy blog. Sorry. And  this comes from my heart - cause I am writing and or preaching to myself.  I myself,  am guilty.   Our word for last year was "Intentional".  Bren and I  used this word at  prayer times and decisions.  And we  pray about this upcoming year and its word, but I totally feel God is steering me towards, "be present - intentionally and then you'll flourish".  I guess that wasn't a word but a phrase but I see so many reclining and running away rather than moving forward. 

  We are a society that really has been avoiding truth for too long and sometimes moving forward means that we stop something or we move from something that has become too comfortable.  Wise words?   Or words that the Holy Spirit is just laying out here right now.  Maybe it is time for a change or a move!?  Not sure, but this Christmas letter is a little different  -- I am going to share the struggles with the glory and not sugar coat it, but remind each and every person who does take the hour to dig into this and read it...that God can win.  He will. 

A fear conquered -- white water rafting - level 3-4!!  
Christmas is indeed a time to share the good news of the birth of Jesus our Lord and Savior.   I really did and still relish EACH and every person's Christmas card and photos  that come.   Especially the ones that come with  letters -- they warm my heart.  However, I know HOW much time it takes  to create that memory and then mail it.  And it is no longer cheap.  It is expensive to send cards.  Now days, it does seem easier to write a blog or send an email.  Either way -- the thought and heart behind it  -- is what really matters.   

  Letter writing, sending that perfect Hallmark card, and/or   correspondence seems to be something of the past and yet, even with the recent passing of President Bush, we are reminded of how he was a letter writer.  How many now treasure those written words in his handwriting.   I find this very interesting and yet ironic.  

MeMe and girls  this past month at a wedding.  SJ wasn't enjoying teething!  
 I believe many may not write a letter because they don't feel anything was notable.  Others may or may not write letters because they are private and feel others just don't care.  I do think that many struggle to send such a picture perfect letter or news and leave out the hard parts on purpose.  Not that anyone really wants to read about the HARD parts, but in this season, it is so easy to get caught up in stuff and forget...we are in a hurting world and we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Our main focus should not be about picking the perfect card, or getting that letter with the right photo into the hands of our loved ones prior to December 24th...but in reality  -- we should live in that spirit of Christmas and allow the miracle of Jesus's birth  to inspire others EACH and every day.  We should live each day, like it may be our last.  Therefore, show God's grace and mercy, be peace to others, and enjoy the many blessings we have -- right here ... right now.  

Whislter Canada - Green Lake, yes, I was canoeing! 
So with that -- let me share our joys this year!  
Hunter and his Honor  Accounting Academy pals.

Whister Mountain 
January brought us some incredible joys and watching it all happen, was indeed a miracle.  The first granddaughter   came into our lives a little over 2 years ago and it has been such a blessing watching her grow as well as living life with her.  She may be a bonus but in reality - she is all ours and we are all in.   Ava Lynne  turned 3 in November and has blossomed into a 40 year ready to do everything by herself.  Taylor and I had the blessing of taking her with us to Wisconsin to meet all of her extending family there last July and indeed it was a memory we still speak about.  Ava is in the stage now where she asks "why" with every statement or task and she wants a reason for everything. Therefore she tells us everything.  Last night was the lighted Christmas parade and seeing it through her eyes was a major memory and true fun! 

  Taylor had her first baby on the 5th -- Sawyer Jane Padrick --  all 9 pounds of her entered the world just before midnight and indeed Taylor was a champion!  She was about two weeks overdue and labored over 48 hours and pushed her out within 24 minutes!  God lead the team of nurses and orchestrated our entire immediate family to be together for those two days.  I have read those type of birthing stories before and even thought, "really?"  And now I am guilty -- it was indeed a God memory and truly a blessing to see her come into the world.   A mile marker in our lives. And then when Ava was able to meet her -- precious!    And the birth .....  I was there-- incredible.  To be able to witness your baby - have a baby -- a  moment in history  - a mile marker that changed everything.   

SJ about 4 months here....maybe 5...! 
Now, today -- SJ or Sawyer Jane is 11 months and she has been a walking for  a full month.  It is teeter - totter walking but - indeed this girl is moving.   She is getting faster and can go from a crawl to a walk within seconds.  Shoes were a new experience for her these last two weeks and now she is quickly beginning to learn the word "no" and oh my ...the little temper tantrums have begun.  We laugh...BUT we know we can't.  WE must get our game face on.  She is a little parrot with some gestures and some words and we are finally hearing Ma Ma, but da da and da da ssss asddd dda dad daddy is mostly what we hear.  

Hunter and Bren at Packer game in September! 
She talks and talks and like her mother before her, I know that one of these days those syllables will turn into words. 

 We now have a car seat in the back of our Honda, we are often found  grand parenting on the weekends to help give the kids a break and we enjoy EVERY moment of it.   I am often caught looking at sale racks at baby stores   or Amazon  and you will always find me in the learning toy section of Marshall's finding something new for each of the girls.

 I am totally enjoying this season -- just don't call me "grandma"...I will correct you -- I am "MeMe".  And Yes, that is how I am going to spell it.  It has been a topic of conversation -- Mimi, MiMi, or Mee... HOnestly, I hear  "Me Meeeeee" most often so maybe that is how I will sign my cards!   Either way, when either of them wrap their arms around me or 'fight' over who  is in my arms -- it is indeed a reminder to me that God won.   Brendan would tell you the same thing  - he melts around them both.  He seems to be the protector and is constantly telling us to 'be careful' or 'she is going to fall'..... and yet, he is also the one that gives in the fastest.  He was never that lenient with our own kids.  I guess we have become what many say -- "grandparents" !!!   It is a whole different ball game now and it is easier to give them a treat and then send them home for their parents to deal with.  :)  

The Padricks - Jacob, Ava, Taylor and Sawyer Jane.  11/6/18
 February, March and April were pretty much a blur.  Bren began to make his final preparations to actually RETIRE!! I am still teaching and those are the crunch months as far as FSA testing and wrapping up the year.  It was year 30 for both of us.   Speaking of retiring, the kids gave him a little retirement party and set up a FB page where former students could send regards or comment.  What a joy it was to see and read how he had impacted lives by being crazy and many commented on his listening ear and just plain FUNNESS!    God blessed him tremendously and he was so humbled.  The party was nice too!  

  We were blessed with a Cruise to the Caribbean and we met some new friends that have fast become family.  If you hear we had a weekend in Ft. Myers -- we were enjoying their fellowship, wisdom, and company!   How beautiful and yet how small our world is!  

 Summer quickly came, Hunter finished his Master's Program in Accounting and passed all of his CPA exams on the first time.  He celebrated by going to Italy with eight of his buddies.   It's  awesome to see and hear of his  travels.  

Our resort in Whister Canada - we were in heaven!  
   Hunter lives in Delray Beach and his office is in Ft. Lauderdale. He is an A-1 for Grant Thornton.  A-1 meaning - Accounting - first year.   He has been to Chicago for schooling and back to the home office for work.  As he picks up clients and gets assigned, he has been learning a great deal.  So are we!   Today he shared that he was 'assigned' until June.  I reminded him of a wedding in June for our dear niece so he had better plan his vacation then. 

 He has insurance....he refurbished his car....he has a new apartment with three roomies...and he'd probably get a dog but uses  spare time to walk a few dogs for some neighbors in Boca.    He also cooks and enjoys what  free time he gets playing soccer with his 'boys', going to the gym,  visiting us,  or hanging with 'the lady' as I have heard him say --Brittany. She graduated this fall  from FSU and accepted a scholarship from  a Miami law school.  She is a beautiful and very  smart girl.   Law school --  hard task... she studies HARD!   She is loved and pretty special to us.  

Proof, I had on a wet suit and I am ready!  
Our summer was full with  some extended weekends and then a blessed  trip to Canada - what a beautiful trip. 

I am going to gush on here, as each day we both agreed -- this was God showing off to us with His richness and mercy.  There is no way we could repeat this trip.  

 Both Brendan and I were stunned and never really understood or could relate to being in the upper Rockies.  We have been to Colorado  but this  was a once in a lifetime trip and we took full advantage!!  Each morning we had breakfast in this most majestic resort with fresh fruit, an array of  cheeses, any type of omelet, and the pastries!   Our room was fit for the President!    We enjoyed walks to the  Olympic Village each day, sleeping with the  veranda doors/window open and feeling the 50 degree weather at night, and all the summer tourists from everywhere biking on the ski trails.  It was crazy!   What adventures for a family to have.  We prayed - we were awestruck but we did ask  God, if He would give us favor and if we  could make this possible to enjoy again - with the kids.   

My baby...is now 27!! 
 We went on a float plane and flew over glaciers.  That was beautiful and scary - I admit - we won't do that again -- once was enough!    We canoed the Green River.  We went on a bear awareness walk and saw a beautiful little black bear - safely from the vehicle and did a walking bit to see some hundred year old cypress trees -- very different from ours here.   We went white water rafting -- oh wait...Bren didn't.  He wasn't feeling well -- or was he chicken?   I went.  Alone.  By myself.  I was SCARED.  But I fought the fear and did it.  And I loved it... seriously.  This was some serious rafting -- 32 degree water and it was only 55 degrees that day!  Level 3 and 4 rapids.  If that was level 3 and 4...there is NO way I want to experience a 5!!   I truly prayed and Bren made sure our life insurance was paid up -- as the day we got there -- three people had died while hiking.  Sad.  They had gone out a little too far on a cliff to get a photo -- but it struck us.  Why did we sign up to do stuff that scares us?   It was an adventure!     Whistler was just breathtaking  - it was the sight of the 2010 Winter Olympics so we enjoyed seeing the Olympic Village and learning about Canada and its history.   We were two hours north of Vancouver - way up there!   The Sea to Sea Highway was breathtaking -- and the elevation for that week - did have us  - at times with some dizzy heads!  We must be so used to the flatland here in Florida.  
Our summer trip to Wisconsin - Ava says, "I fit MeMe". 

And fall came and I started my 31st year at Pemayetv Emahagkv Charter School. And I still love it.  It is an awesome job, but as any teacher will attest to now -- teaching is no longer about math and reading ....its about the whole child and life skills.  Big prayers for all of our children and this world.   It is challenging but God has me there and I plan to do what God has asked me to do.  I also help at the Insurance office during the week and most Saturdays as well. 

 Brendan started his full time job at the office -  but basically he continues to do sales and marketing like he did before, he just is able to do it ALL day.   He loves  it and does something different every day as well as traveling to the other locations in West Palm and Melbourne to meet potential clients and real estate brokers to build the book of business and to offer  insurance.  Taylor works with him and Lowell and it is a treasure to hear them strategize   and solve problems and create new visions.   She is wise and  now when we have family dinners - I have to tell the two of them to stop talking insurance. Hunter has even expressed an interest --  maybe after he has worked in the corporate world for a few years!  Only God knows.....

Speaking of Taylor - she continued to coach the Varsity Girls team at OHS and Jake is one of the  football coaches  for Centennial High School in Pt. St. Lucie.   Both had good seasons.   Fall sports season kept us hopping with trying to help babysit one or both of the girls while both were busy coaching!  Taylor loves that outlet and her wisdom for young women is one of her gifts. 

 She has tackled this "momma" thing with every bit of honor and I am very proud of her.  SJ has given us all plenty to pray about - but God is good.  She and Jake are Children's Church teaching pastors at their church and Jake is also involved with the youth there.  They are busy.  She has begun the "oil" adventure and is getting us all to switch from Clorox wipes to Thieves.  I am sure you have seen her posts...if not, become her FB or Insta  pal!   I do admit -- the stuff works!  But like any young married couple, they too get hit by the enemy and I am so proud that they push through and seek Jesus.  

My family -- I still have 7 siblings in Wisconsin and one is in Nebraska.  All are married with wonderful growing  families  and I have many nieces and nephews that we try to keep up with via Instagram or Face timing and some short visits. I think, if I wanted, I could probably travel home for a graduation each year for the next 10 at least.... WOW!      My parents are good -- Dad still milks each morning at the farm where we lived and he  farmed all those years.  The present owner has a milking parlor.  I am told a deer hit him in his new truck ..praise God it was a minor thing.   Mom is a steady and soulful cashier  -  still at Wal-Mart and I know she brings a smile to many of her customers when they check out.  They may a visit here last February and I hope to see them this winter again.   Brendan's siblings are well and his folks are still a part of the Insurance Office! Both Lowell and Marilyn are a blessing.     We enjoy their company and look forward to family time.    

And now... the hard stuff.  I began this epistle trying to convey that for so many years, I painted a perfect picture when I really needed more of Jesus and I needed to give more grace. 

This year, 2018 has been a year of new beginnings and many blessings but also of hardships.   We have seen miracles and we have also seen tears in praying for some couples that God has brought into our lives.  It is hard when we see and know what God CAN do and they don't.  It is hard when the enemy seems to have the upper hand and we want to FIX it, but we must watch from afar and trust God.  And even when hardship hits close through friends and we can't control the outcome ...some days are indeed hard.  And finally -- NO marriage is perfect nor easy, and every day lift and just living with another person in close proximity - can bring stress.   But giving God a sacrifice of praise during the hardship  or hurting times is the BEST offering we can give to God.   God keeps his promise and when the promise finally comes to fruition, it is such a beautiful blessing that reminds us - He is a good good Father.  

We have some dear people near us that are not experiencing a very happy Christmas time right now.   Several are awaiting medical miracles and others feel abandoned by God.  Some are not joyful because of the loss of children, the loss of parents, and because of LOST ones. .   Ones that know of God's truth and refuse it.  We also long to see some prayer requests answered and mountains moved.  So often we paint a pretty picture on FB or Instagram that all is well and it is not.  And there are others that spew all of their problems and hurts on FB and we may want to  ignore it or feel the need to correct - but we ask for mercy and should give it as well.  Life is not easy.  Living in this world that is becoming more and more ready for THE Savior to return is indeed HARD -- but we know where freedom comes from. 

  The Lord, moved Brendan and I  this year from comfort to a new season and to a new church.  We are the little fish in a big pond and trying to be obedient to what God wants from us and yet -- we fail -- daily.  The enemy doesn't go on vacation.  We do mentor or counsel with couples and even this can bring stress unless we have prayed our armor on ahead of time.  Even a simple accident ...yep - I took out a sign.  A ONE WAY Sign.  I never saw it coming - it was dark, rainy, and I was not focused can bring forth stress.  I am fine.  And I hit no one ....God is good and sweet.  But, I say that to just take the stigma away from this "perfect" Christmas letter.  We have joy -- through the struggles  and when we can't seem to  live in that Joy -- we seek HELP.  Counsel.  Time away and God's Word.  Everyone puts a smile on their face and yet, there are many hurting.  

Our Pastor stated today that it seems that 'coat of many colors'...that God has made for us just seems to make us a BIGGER and BRIGHTER target for the enemy. But that is OK, because God's Word brings peace and we lean not on our own understanding but into God and Holy Spirit.  It may be my age and it may be that I am just at a different place, but Christmas truly is a time of year to reflect and re-purpose and remind ourselves that God sent His Son for us...  allowing the healing of Jesus into our lives makes the new year -- something to look forward to.   

The last picture of the two of us, was taken on Lowell's birthday.  August 8, 2011.  It is my reminder that He can take our brokenness and bring beauty from the ashes - in any circumstance. 

 It is my reminder that something fought hard for -- when it is God's will -- is worth every tear.  

It is my reminder that God wins.  It is my reminder that He raised us both out of our spiritual death into a new life ... and therefore He asks us to share that possibility with others. 

 It is my reminder that He purposed us in our mother's wombs for His purpose and His plans.  It is my reminder that indeed, He will answer our prayers.  

May this Christmas letter bring you up to date on the Pritchards, but may it also bring you to the realization that God can win.

  I am unsure how or where you are at -- but I am not naive to know or think that everyone reading this will feel all warm and bubbly  and happy for us and others.    In the 3-4 Christmas letters and seasons prior to 2011 -- I was in tears most every Christmas Eve night after all were in bed -- begging God to move the mountain or move me and I had NO idea or no clue of WHAT or HOW, but I was hurting and I felt I was so alone. 

 But I wasn't - God was near. I just didn't fully know my  Lord.    It took what it took ...to get me to a place of total surrender.  Like a baby in a manger who was totally reliant on Mary and Joseph...  we must be like that baby and willing to be totally reliant on Him - God - Jesus.  

May your holiday be filled with much happiness.  May this letter inspire you to be intentional with your own family and maybe even write more than your name on that Christmas card.  May we have more face to face time with our fellow neighbors this coming year and may that brightly colored and favored coat that Jesus gives us...not only be a target for the enemy...but may we use it to DEFEAT the enemy.... IN Jesus Name.  Amen.    -- Michelle  aka   MeMe   or  Chellie to my aunts and uncles in WI!  
Merry Christmas from  TP, HP, BP, and Me... 

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Beloved, you are LOVED, Prayer #40

The 40 days, ended last week.  Several times I have come to this computer but the words didn't want to come and the fingers were not typing.  This series of prayers were set with a purpose and I know that God did healing, but He also revealed.  

There were new relationships fostered and a few that seemed to fade away.  There was tension, glory, and new revelations.   Last Sunday, I was so convicted  about something God was discipling me about that I blogged but didn't post it.  So I  blogged and shared other stuff that God had placed on my heart,  but fell into the trap of 'checking the readership' and noticed that normally 135-200 people have 'hit' or read my blogs usually, but in this week there were only 20 - 24.  Again, those numbers only mean that someone clicked onto the blog site - not that they actually read it.   And why am I checking those numbers?   Am I writing to recognition and attention, or writing what GODS wants me to.   ( Therefore, I would not be checking the numbers of readership.) 

After hearing Matt Walsh speak, I found a new fired up awareness of my voice and began to get a bit political on my FB feed.  I got flack.  I have even stepped up my game and share more anti- abortion but I am afraid or I believe that many just scrolled.    It is social media.  I scroll.  However, I do unfollow a few when all I see from them is the constant and consistent posts of negativity or rants about politics where they are sharing something that is not true or something that doesn't seem to add up.  

Then again, as I have said it many times, my husband reminds me .."if you don't have a FB, you would never know".   I wouldn't know that a certain blog was being ignored or a certain post was causing strife.  

So, I am in a bit of a flummoxed state today.  Just am.  And I went back to Day #1 and the prayer I wrote for others and said it over myself.  Tomorrow is a new day - and I am pretty sure this 'funk' today is just because - I admit ...His Word had escaped me ALL week.  

Seeking HIM on Sunday and letting the rest of the week be without our daily feed of His Word ...makes for a very WEAK believer.  One that will allow the enemy to tell her lies and she may know they are UNTRUE, but for the am...she allows them to soak in, just cause.  It is that kind of a day.  

But, no....

Jesus is on the throne.  I have spent time in prayer this am, so much so - it is almost NOON already!!   But I do know that God is on the throne and that today's temporary fleshly  pity party and my ignorance of being in God's Word last week -- are both distractions.  

Earlier this week, I do believe there was a good win for many believers that are Pro-life.  Earlier this week, I believe we did see how divided our country is -- but this passage stuck out:  2 Thessalonians 2, Paul says that before the return of Christ - there would be a world-wide apostasy - a falling away from truth.  

This is especially so true  -- but today, I am going to believe that God will win.  

And so therefore, I am sharing Blog Post #1 again - as this pulled me from my slumber and got me back on track!  In Jesus name.  Amen.   

Dear Beloved, this series of prayers has been commissioned by God. 

 I am in a season of transition and God is holding me, loving me, and teaching me new concepts and revelations.  I believe I am on a QUEST.  In fact, I have almost finished my  late summer bible study, with Beth Moore, ironically called = The Quest.  I just have one more week of questions and using scripture to seek God, ask Questions, and really get to know the God-- I call Father ....better!  Yet, in this Quest with God, the enemy has not slowed down in his lies nor has he let up.  EAch day, it seems I need to readdress what God says about me -- instead of listening to what the world says.  In fact, even today when I KNEW I was starting this series -- a call comes, a text comes....and I doubt my value and my knowledge.  So what do I do -- I seek HIM and rebuke the offense and seek God to show me HOW or WHAT to do or say next.  And I also...forgive myself, as I am not perfect.   In the name of Jesus!  

I have one friend that calls Him - God -   "Abba Father".  I have another that calls him "Daddy".   And I have a sweet friend that refers to him as "Papa".  In the past month, I have been thinking about that and asking myself,  WHY I don't do the same or do I have a personal name for My Lord?   Sometimes I just call him "Father God"  and other times, He certainly DOES seem like He is more of a Papa!    The photo at right is of AVA...she has a Papa and to hear her call him - "PAPA!" ..is truly heaven.  She also has a G- man.  She loves both of them so much.  She is beloved and adored.  She is loved by her parents, all of them, loved by her Grandparents, all of them and especially loved by her sister....SJ.  When Ava enters the room, SJ just LIGHTS up.  Below is a photo of SJ and her cousin from Wisconsin.  THOSE blue eyes can captivate you... and as SJ looks at her mother or gets a glimpse of her G-man...boy or boy does her FACE light up and she is full of JOY.  

   THAT brings me to this blog and the beginning of this series. 

 In my quiet time with God, I am always asking Him -- what is next?  AND He brought me to this next writing adventure  and reminded me that blogging prayers and writing is something He commissions in me. 

 My 40 blogged prayers for marriage were inspired by a dear couple that I still believe will allow God to heal their marriage.....but now, I believe God is asking me to encourage  a special friend that I love dearly.  I know that in doing this....this blog will reach others and God won't waste HIS word.  

HE wanted me to write and title this - Beloved, because my dear...YOU are loved.   The Joy that Ava gets when she sees her Papa...the JOY that SJ expresses without words when she sees her loved one...THAT JOY is WHAT our Heavenly Father has for US.    That JOY is for me as well.  And I believe that with this series, there are people that will read this and want to SHARE it with another and I ask that YOU do.  Be courageous - share or tag someone that just needs a simple reminder.  Be brave today and do something that will FURTHER the Kingdom and Encourage a believer!   Or - bring light to the lost.  

Even I feel 'unloved' at times....but I declare I am still beloved.
Today, there is a dear loved one that needs this.    So today, the simple focus of the prayer is that YOU are loved.  Period.  Jesus got on that Cross for YOU and would do it again....as HE loves you that much.  I am pretty sure you know this....but just need to allow the Holy Spirit to remind you of this concept and then receive it.    

Back in 2011, I can remember when God woke me up and gave me the idea to write 40 days of prayers for this one sweet friend.    And God used that time of writing and  praying for her to reach several other women. He also used it as a witnessing tool for my then 'godless' hubby! Some of those women -- they contacted me,  thanked me, and encouraged me.   Then a few years after that ...God commissioned me again for a Secret Sister ... who needed to be encouraged and I know God used those prayers and those blogs.  And this time...I am believing in that one special friend...that by the end of these blogged prayers -- she will FEEL that she is beloved and she will also have a healing...a physical and emotional healing...and she won't have to get all TOUCHY FEELIE or even give testimony, but that God will MEET her and heal her and remind her that SHE is worth it!   

So,  pure and simple.....

Dear Beloved -- YOU are adored, and loved, and I know that I know -- YOUR name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life.  I am deeply sorry that you are in a season right now where you are questioning and you are trying to figure it out......but I know that I know...God will meet you RIGHT there and HE is patient to allow you to just BE for a bit.    Just be in that 'flummox' for awhile and allow God to speak and move you through it.  It is OK.  

You are loved deeply, not only by your family but by many others.  IN fact, I am going to ask God right now that in some unique or special way ...someone GIVES you that affirmation this week.    You know that I deeply care and am committed to spend 40 days -- daily --- going to Father  God on your behalf, and I believe that when this series is over...you will be experiencing a new relationship with Jesus, as well as some emotional and physical healing... IN the Name of Jesus.  AMEN  

Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears

Matthew 7:7 The Passion Translation (TPT)

 Matthew 7.7 “Ask, and the gift is yours. Seek, and you’ll discover. Knock, and the door will be opened for you.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Dear Beloved, waiting patiently. Blogged Prayer #39

Psalm 40 ....

 ...no more...no less....

I have read it several times today.   I have listened to it and now, looking at it in several versions/translations.  Indeed -- I know another needs to read this tonight....

Psalm 40

For the choir director: A psalm of David.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
    and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
    out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
    and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
    They will put their trust in the Lord.
Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord,
    who have no confidence in the proud
    or in those who worship idols.
O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
    Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
    You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
    I would never come to the end of them.
You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.
    Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand[a]
    you don’t require burnt offerings or sin offerings.
Then I said, “Look, I have come.
    As is written about me in the Scriptures:
I take joy in doing your will, my God,
    for your instructions are written on my heart.”
I have told all your people about your justice.
    I have not been afraid to speak out,
    as you, O Lord, well know.
10 I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart;
    I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power.
I have told everyone in the great assembly
    of your unfailing love and faithfulness.
11 Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me.
 Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles surround me—
    too many to count!
My sins pile up so high
    I can’t see my way out.
They outnumber the hairs on my head.
    I have lost all courage.
13 Please, Lord, rescue me!
    Come quickly, Lord, and help me.
14 May those who try to destroy me
    be humiliated and put to shame.
May those who take delight in my trouble
    be turned back in disgrace.
15 Let them be horrified by their shame,
    for they said, “Aha! We’ve got him now!”
16 But may all who search for you
    be filled with joy and gladness in you.
May those who love your salvation
    repeatedly shout, “The Lord is great!”
17 As for me, since I am poor and needy,
    let the Lord keep me in his thoughts.
You are my helper and my savior.
    O my God, do not delay.

Lord,  that my friend would know that YOU are always RIGHT here...next to us....next to her...next to the one who is ready to quit or give up.  

Lord, that  she would know her feet are being set on SOLID ground with YOU and that You will never leave her.  Lord, for this series of prayers, may they touch the one who is reading it but also that they would read Your Word and allow it to soak in.   Lord, that this Psalm would take on a whole new aspect within her life.

Lord,  that she would see the many wonders that HAVE happened and know that MORE will come.   Lord, that she would confidently know, that waiting patiently for You is obedience and it will bring blessing.  In Jesus Name, Amen. -   Michelle