Tuesday, September 27, 2016

The PIT test.

8 years ago, a movie was being promoted and I asked my husband if we could go and see it.   He postponed and delayed the date night but eventually appeased me and took me to the RAVE.  It was late September...2008. 

I would NEVER want to experience a movie like this again  -- sitting in the theater and knowing at that VERY instant, that something was indeed wrong.  I was sitting next to my husband, but it felt as if he was a total stranger  and he was sitting 50 yards away.    After the movie, we got into the car to come home and not one word was said.   And I knew -- help was needed.  

Long story short - God won.  

I never watched that movie again -- until about 3 years ago.  Even as I sat and watched it -- again,  with my husband, it triggered many feelings and emotions that were a part of 8 years ago.  

 We were in a PIT.  I was in a PIT.  

Everyone has a dream - everyone has a destiny.  Many don't fulfill that destiny cause they don't have the character to fulfill it.  

Joseph ( In Genesis 37) had a dream at the age of 17, he began to step into his destiny at 30 years of age and it was not fulfilled until he was 41. 

I had a dream -- a marriage that would be perfect -- God used my dream ...to fulfill  a destiny. 

Back to Joseph. 

Genesis 37.  13-37
3 and Israel said to Joseph, “As you know, your brothers are grazing the flocks near Shechem. Come, I am going to send you to them.”
“Very well,” he replied.
14 So he said to him, “Go and see if all is well with your brothers and with the flocks, and bring word back to me.” Then he sent him off from the Valley of Hebron.
When Joseph arrived at Shechem, 15 a man found him wandering around in the fields and asked him, “What are you looking for?”
16 He replied, “I’m looking for my brothers. Can you tell me where they are grazing their flocks?”
17 “They have moved on from here,” the man answered. “I heard them say, ‘Let’s go to Dothan.’”
So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near Dothan. 18 But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him.

19 “Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. 20 Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.”
21 When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,” he said. 22 “Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father.
23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing— 24 and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it.
25 As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt.
26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed.

Have you been thrown into a PIT?  

1.  What is the POSITION of the PIT?   
- Did you do anything to bring this upon yourself?  
- There is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus...but SEARCH me OH God and create a clean heart in me!  

Joseph was certainly thrown into a PIT.  Was it his fault?  Did he mean to brag to his brothers about his dream?   
 - Who can you blame for your PIT?   

Joseph had his Father's Favor -- he had been given a coat of many colors.  Joseph was given a gift, but perhaps he was proud and bragged about it?  

Pride -- there is that word again.  

How many of us display our gifts -- gifts we probably did not earn -- in pride? 

Joseph's pride got him in trouble.  
Our pride gets us in trouble.  

It can place us in a PIT.  

2. The PERSPECTIVE of the PIT.  

Ok, s o Joseph was thrown into the pit.   I  felt,   I had  been thrown into a pit -- but let's look at God's perspective.  
God never condemns ...Satan condemns.   God through His Holy Spirit - convicts.  Conviction is real and should be felt.  

Keep God's perspective as you are in that PIT.  

Satan is SUCH a liar - he will convince you that "you were never loved". 
Satan will convince you that - "he would be better off with the other woman".
Satan will convince you  - "you can't remain clean, free from addiction". 
Satan will convince you - "numbing the pain is the only way it will get better".
Satan will convince you - "church is not for you ".
Satan will convince you - "you are better than others". 
Satan will convince you  - "you are not called to a higher purpose, you are just mediocre". 

Satan convinced Jacob that his son was torn apart by beasts...read the story.  His sons never told Jacob,  that Joseph was eaten...Jacob assumed it -- because Satan is such a good liar.  

What is Satan telling you ?   

3.  The PURPOSE of the PIT.  

What is the purpose -- to GET you to cry out to HIM!!  
We have been -- probably many times, in small pits but WE got our selves out and felt we could fix whatever....

So sometimes, God allows a BIG PIT test...to that - we CRY out to HIM!  

 Jonah 2. 2-6
In my distress I called to the Lord,
    and he answered me.

From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
    and you listened to my cry.
You hurled me into the depths,
    into the very heart of the seas,
    and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
    swept over me.
I said, ‘I have been banished
    from your sight;
yet I will look again
    toward your holy temple.’
The engulfing waters threatened me,[b]
    the deep surrounded me;
    seaweed was wrapped around my head.
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
    the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, Lord my God,
    brought my life up from the pit.

We must CRY out to HIM!  

So, tonight -- are you in a PIT?   
I have been there.   Even this summer, I felt that perhaps I was thrown in another -- but I have learned that the only way OUT it through HIM.  God will use whatever Satan throws at us -- and bring beauty from the ashes -- if we let HIM!  

Lord,  there is ONE reading this right now that feels like they have been thrown into a PIT and there is NO HOPE -- but there is HOPE and there is a way out -- speak to that one or several.  

Lord, for the ONE that has been able to escape the big PITS but has several smaller ones that have worn her out - may she just fall into your arms and allow YOU to heal her.  

Lord, for the one that placed the ladder right into the PIT and lowered herself down INTO it...herself..may she seek you, and know that there is NO condemnation in Christ Jesus.... May she call upon the one who made her and believe.   May  the conviction from Holy Spirit indeed cause her to repent and turn from sin....but Lord, then lavish her and restore her.  In  Jesus name.  

Lord, God -- thank you for these reminders in these lessons.  Bless Pastor Robert Morris and his ministry for sharing and providing these messages that not only teach me but confirm for me WHAT I see in Your Word.   May Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven!  

PS... as a bit of encouragement -- please continue to do what God has asked you to do -- I promise YOUR obedience will bring rewards.   Tomorrow -- could be the miracle you have been waiting for!   God knows.  
 The pretty little girl to the right.... THIS is God's reminder to me, that HE answers prayer.   I will blog about her soon!  

Monday, September 26, 2016

The PRIDE test.

Pride -- hate that word.  

In Genesis there is a story about a boy named Joseph.   Joseph was given a dream when he was 17.  Several things happened to him after he shared his dream, but that dream was a part of his destiny. 

Joseph did not step into his destiny until he was 30 and it really was not fulfilled until he was 41.  Time.....

God has a dream for you. 
God has a dream for me.  God's dream is better than my dream and better than I could ever imagine. 

 Mark 12.6-8
6 he said, “Listen to my words:“When there is a prophet among you,
    I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions,
    I speak to them in dreams.
But this is not true of my servant Moses;
    he is faithful in all my house.
With him I speak face to face,
    clearly and not in riddles;
    he sees the form of the Lord.
Why then were you not afraid
    to speak against my servant Moses?”

If you want to know God's dream for you  -- Get to know God.   God will give you the dream He has for you.  He will fulfill it!  

It is important not to 'brag' about the dream.  

Joseph failed the Pride Test  -- he bragged about his dream to his brothers and then threw him in a pit.  

Why do we brag?   
We brag because we have pride in our hearts.
We brag because we are insecure!   

Pride always wants to be heard.  
Pride wants to interrupt.
Pride has to be heard.  

The dream from God is NOT the same as the DESTINY that God has for us.  

We must be humble with that dream...or we will never have that destiny.   
Before we can get moving into that destiny -- we must DEAL with our Pride.   

Many of us deal with the FRUIT of pride and not the ROOT.  
The root is insecurity.  If Pride is in your heart -- there is insecurity in your soul.   - Ps. Robert Morris

With every new challenge there will come new insecurities.  
With every new job or new level of ministry  - there comes new insecurities. 

Our confidence comes in Jesus --- not in ourselves.  
Jesus knew WHO HE was!  
We must know -- we are children of God!  
We have to pass the Pride Test!   

This summer, I believe the Lord has been  fleshing out some pride in me that needed to be put to death!   I believe there were some new insecurities that popped up with some new responsibilities and perhaps some bits of a dream that God has given me.  And then again - maybe as we grow and walk in this world, it is only natural that stuff changes and with that -- maybe pride can sneak in??   !!  Maybe?   

I spent a lot of time this summer seeking God and asking HIM to remove whatever needed to be removed within my thoughts and heart.  I have asked HIM to show me exactly HOW that dream is to play out.  I have asked him and begged HIM at times to release me from this or that -- but HE would not.  

I know it is HARD to try and explain unless I get specific -- I guess as I type this out and if you are reading, you will just have to ask the Lord to help you see into my brain....but basically, I believe and know that God has a dream for me.   God has a dream for you.  He has a dream for all of us.   A few days ago, my husband and I were watching a new series that Robert Morris is teaching and he is speaking about dreams and how they lead us to our destiny.    And as I watched this series, I was amazed at how the entire summer made sense ......as God has been preparing me!   

 I believe and know that I have a destiny.   I believe that everyone has a destiny.    Our past is a part of our destiny -- we forgive ourselves and move forward and God can use our past in HIS perfect plan for His Kingdom.   

 I know that the enemy tried to destroy my destiny, but God won.  I am pretty sure Satan constantly seeks to steal, kill, and destroy.  That is in scripture.  Satan is constantly seeking to destroy me but he is also seeking to do that to anyone.  

 Now,  God has given me  this next  assignment -- I know it has to be accomplished and I am passionate about it.  As when I get to meet God one day, I want to hear, "well done my faithful servant".  I don't want to see Jesus and meet God face to face and know that I did not obey what HE asked me to do.  I just don't.  

So with that, I believe this past summer was a 'hard' summer as far as my prayer time and conversations with God, but it was also the BEST summer in the sense that I had more mommy  and joyous moments that indeed continue to make me smile.    I believe we are in the last days and in these last days we will have much that grieves us - deeply, but with that we will also see and experience miracles that will be supernatural and overjoy us!    I have seen that!   

Maybe tonight YOU came to this post because the word PRIDE grabbed your attention.  God and YOU are the ones that need to seek the answer to the question.  

Will you pass the pride test?   

I believe it is a heart issue.  
I believe I will still probably deal with PRIDE as we are human and we are not perfect.  

Lord, empty me of me..fill me more of you. 
Lord, for the one reading this tonight - I pray they were able to read through this blog and hear YOU in it.  
Lord, I pray for my insecurities...  Lord, that I know and walk in that confident knowledge that I belong to you and am in YOUR will.   
Lord, for the one reading this -- that she will seek YOU like never before and check her heart -- is there pride there?  
Lord, for YOUR will to be done - on EARTH as it is in heaven.  
Thank you Lord for your provision and Your Word.  
Like Joseph, I have had a dream, but  I pray I don't brag about it but become MORE like YOU  - be confident in YOU Jesus!   



Tuesday, September 20, 2016

A little bit of Beth and a LOT of Me.........

So, recently I was at a women's meeting or gathering in which Beth Moore spoke.  My love for her dates way back.   My friend Fran invited me to attend one of her Living Proof Live Events  and I went with another, Jill;   but, I walked into that convention center and stood in awe of those GROWN women all "oo...ooo...ing and awe...ing" about this person.  Beth  -- Beth Moore.    This was probably some 15 years ago.

I remember thinking she is very hyper.   I remember thinking - she knows her stuff, and  I remember thinking that most of these women were crazy -- it sort of seemed like they worshiped  her.   And I watched these GROWN women all stand in lines to get her autograph and buy stuff.  Now buying stuff -- I could get into that,  and I did!   I purchased a bible and few things and eventually there was a bible study at my church and I signed up.  Did it.    After some time, I even  led  one of those bible studies.

But that was truly before I fell in love with Jesus.  Truly fell in love.   Oh -- I believed I loved HIM, but I had no clue.  You don't know what you don't know at times!  

 But I did  admire Beth's   love for HIM and she certainly had the audience and attention of many!!   

However, as time passed, many years,  God used a blog by Beth Moore to literally speak to me over a 3 year period when I thought I was going crazy.  Literally Crazy.   I knew my marriage was crumbling right in front of me.   We had basically stopped going to church and I was just surviving.    There were so many red flags and I did not ignore them, I was just overwhelmed.  Those years were very hard but if you  were around  me----I just kept smiling.    I was a great actress.  Shortly before the 'end' of that three years, I began to reach out to a few - I was SO tired of 'faking it'.

 Then, at the end of that period....my world shook.
 God revealed something that tore the house down.
And, that  previous time spent with Beth and her blog---which made me seek God's Word and His blog ----
-------well... it HELD me and thus began  a  journey where the   death of  myself  occurred   and a new birth into a REAL relationship with Jesus transpired.    ( This was almost 10 years ago now.)    

But in that time, I felt Beth lived, breathed,  and sat on my shoulder.

 I know now it was  Holy Spirit - but,  it  was the venue, or it was the blog,  in which I related.   God showed me through  this adoration of  Beth Moore -- that indeed, my source had to be HIM - God alone.   God also showed me how I had created IDOLS.  ( THAT  has been blogged about before! )   My love affair for and with Beth Moore,   has  decreased.  She is 'man' and 'man' will fail us.  Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way with several tests and examples within my life that  MAN/Woman  will always fail us.

  We can ONLY look to our heavenly Father.   And to quote my former therapist, "Michelle, stop reading everything else - just read your bible!" I tend to believe that we can get way too caught up in other peoples lives - we must focus on our own families first. 

But God still uses her.   Beth that is.   But I also know -- HE is using me.   Yep! 

   I made a point to go and hear her  speak this past April and it so refreshed my spirit and God spoke through her.   And this past Saturday, as she spoke to some 8000  women at the Sears Tower in Chicago while  some 10,000 of us around the world watched from our own little spots--- God spoke through her again.   He used her to remind me of something. 

I am thankful for Beth,  Joyce,   Christine,  and Lisa Bevere...all women that are rising up in the forefront of ministry.   If you read each of the others'  materials  right now,  you will find a common factor ,  Jesus.   And Holy Spirit is moving and to me -- each is saying the same stuff.   Dauh... God is speaking and it is the same Holy Spirit!   Amen.   

I don't want to be deceived -- if Lucifer could convince 1/3 of the Angels that walked and knew God personally to .....fall.... I don't claim to be some one who does not think -- I won't escape. 

Discernment against false prophets and  Satan's lies are  critical to know.  We must use Scripture  as our assessment too -- and make sure everything we allow to SINK into our souls is indeed from God!!

So, let me share something:

Mathew 18. 19-20 
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Here is a little bit of Beth:  

The word agree in this passage in Greek is symphoneo  which sounds like (soom foe NEH oh ).

Do you hear that word...what does that sound like?   Symphony!  

A symphony consists of a rather lengthy piece of music that is complex and it is played by a group of musicians - each playing their own instrument and it creates a perfect sound or melody.  There is harmony and complexity and a variety!!     

Beth used  that word to speak about our role here with God in His plans.  Like, we all have a seat in that DIVINE symphony and we must be in that seat - not anothers!   Another point, that the Conductor is the one we all follow -- that would have to be God.   Another point -- the 1st strong string violin was the Concert Master in which EVERY instrument would tune itself to that one instrument.   So what is the Concert Master in us?   Scripture needs to be our Concert Master.   We must use God's Word as our visible piece that we turn everything by !    And then the SOUND me make ...is when we agree ...this pleases the EAR of Jesus.    Harmony!!  


Cool, right?   


So now -- this is Michelle....  


I want to be in HIS great symphony and when I get to heaven, I want to hear, "well done my good and faithful servant".   I want that for others too.  I want to play my instrument,  and play what HE has orchestrated for me to play and play it well.   I want that for others as well! 

  And I need to be IN Tune..   so, God's Word is my Concert Master but indeed, my Conductor is God.    I want that for the ones around me.   

God I pray those around me will see the reason  we hide Your word in our hearts!!  I am not going to sit in the Audience and just enjoy -- I am part of HIS Symphony and I will do His will -- until everything God wants accomplished  is accomplished.  

 Agreeing that God's will would be done, here on Earth as it is in heaven!    

Tonight a sweet friend reminded me to TRUST in HIM and How God asks me to play my instrument for HIM.   God has been working on me all summer and has reminded me that I must trust Him for my approval ratings!  I am not Beth Moore, but I pray that people do see Jesus in me.  I pray that my body language and the words that flow out, indeed  reflect my heart.   

God is so stinking sweet.  

When I read Matthew 18. 19-20 -- I read the words, whenever 2 or 3 ...are gathered in my name... I can hear the childhood song -- WHENEVER 2 or 3 are gathered in my name... I will be with you, the Lord proclaimed.....Come Children,  come children gather round the Lord...come children come children - hear His Holy  Word!   And HE will be us happiness and He will be us peace, His power is forever and His wonders never cease......  

2-3 are gathered in His name.   NO prayer request is TOO small, NOTHING is too petty or stupid.  God knows the number of hairs on Your head, He set the stars in place -- NOTHING is too difficult for Him!   

Lord, thank you for being my friend.   My personal best friend.   My 'list' is in my heart - I trust You will provide, answer, and move when needed and I thank you for it.  Lord, Continue to use me and sustain me.   Thank you for this summer, for this season of being taught some new concepts and then being tested to make sure -- I learned.   Lord, for the death you worked in me this past summer and for the new life your brought to me. 

Lord, tonight a bevy of beauties met to begin a labor of love -- helping others to be set free.  Bless their efforts and their desires to please you as well.  

 Tonight, I am declaring again a healing within my body that will be supernatural.  

Tonight, again, I will declare that my need to please and seek affirmation from people will decrease and as I LEAN more and more into you --   peace beyond all understanding will flow.  

Tonight, let those around me see that peace.   I know I seem to be in a flurry so often - but that is HOW you made me.  I truly REST in you - I TRULY see and hear you constantly and consistently so help those others trust YOU in me.  

I am most humbled Lord that I get the privilege to serve you in this manner....  

In Jesus name, Amen. 


Mathew 18. 19-20 
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Perspective -- Just ask!!

I awoke this morning like usual because my bladder had to be emptied but also because I could hear the word, "perspective" loud and clear in my head.  

I laid there, thought - prayed  - dreamed a bit and then got all cuddly with my man and snuggled until I knew that bladder had to be emptied.   I asked God "what? - what perspective?"

Later, in the shower and now as I am typing, I believe  Holy Spirit  is speaking to me.   God also used a book -- and Beth's words.....

If you have read my blogs of late, I think I have hinted or shared about the fact that since summer -- my head and thoughts have been pretty wrapped up in stuff.  Last night I sat and had a conversation with God about this "season" I am in  -- I do believe the enemy is trying so desperately to totally bombard everything around me so that I lose hope.  I totally think, the enemy is using every circumstance around me to point out or remind me that God may be withholding something -- but I certainly see and hear God right in the middle of this season. 

I believe the enemy has been able to cause doubt in certain areas, and we are human, so one day it is easier to fight the battle and another day it is very hard.   In the past 3-4 months, I have questioned many aspects of WHAT God wants me to accomplish and questioned my position or part in those endeavors and  God has allowed some situations within my life and circle of friends that are indeed testing me.  In these months I have experienced some painful stuff that just hurt my heart so badly and yet I have had MORE experiences that have filled my heart so perfectly with His Love -- tangible stuff! 

Today, I get to hear a fresh word from God through Beth Moore.    I am expecting it!   Last year at this 'Saturday'  I was unable to attend the entire Simulcast because my daughter was waiting on me to join her and we went shopping for that DRESS as NEXT weekend marks the First Anniversary of her wedding day.   Here would be one of those reminders of HOW God holds me and gives me extravagant love through situations and events that HOLD my heart when the enemy is piercing it! 

In the middle of this season, God has certainly be showing me much,  as I said, holding my heart, and also blessing me in ways that are BEYOND what I expected - of course!  THAT is how Good God is! 

However, my flesh just wants today -- and I ask God to provide my needs.   And then I read this in the Chapter of Audacious entitled:   You Would Ask Me

 pg. 132

  "want is a far more powerful motivator than need - You can take this one to the bank:  we humans desire most what we love most.  It is as simple as that.  If you come to audaciously love Jesus , you will audaciously seek Jesus.  you will audaciously serve Jesus.  You will audaciously show Jesus to people who don't know Him, You will audaciously surf angry seas to fulfil your holy calling.  You won't be able to help yourself.  You will want to be alive and awake to His company because you automatically want who you love.  "  

THERE is is!!   THAT is the perspective that I needed to be reminded of!  

1 John 5; 14-15
Now this is the confidence we have before Him: Whenever we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked Him for.  


Lord,  I am asking.  This has been a HARD season of my life but I am thankful and I will PRAISE YOU and continue to do the assignment you have placed upon my head and heart.  I need YOU there and here in every aspect of it and You never fail - praise YOU Lord.  Lord, I WANT to love that audaciously that the need is met and the wants will come but I won't LONG for them.   

Lord, there are some messy situations right in front of me and I want to be that LOVE that hope to others, but I am asking YOU to send thousands of angels right now to whisper in my ears...it will be well!   Lord, for the present  uncertainty within my body -- I claim all will be well!   Lord, for the circumstances around me and my family -- I claim YOUR will be done.   

This is one of THOSE blessings! 
Lord, for those I am interceding for --    I pray they LOVE you audaciously and trust you with an unending fire...   I pray their circumstances would ease and YOU would orchestrate within their lives those moments where ....they will just move forward and KEEP On -- in spite of what they see in front of them.     Lord, some of these women I love and I am praying for daily -- well, YOU know, I cry ...as I want it FIXED and NOW.... and I want to be a comfort and encourage as I speak and text them...but I have heard you Lord,   sometimes you allow a death...sometimes you allow the divorce...sometimes... you allow the PAIN -- cause there is a greater good and cause.   Help me to discern, hold my tongue or proclaim healing...but BE MY WORDS.. 

Lord,  YOUR will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven...    
It will be supernatural - radical and I am ALL in.   
Thank you LORD.  

****   If this prayer is for you today -- read it, post it...   IN Jesus Name, I pray you GET your miracle, but first...I pray you have that Audacious LOVE for HIM.   

*****If this blog touched you -- and you  want to encourage me -- I won't let my pride get in the way -- I am asking that YOU pray for me today -- and I ask for your encouragement as well!   

God wins.  
God is winning. 
God will win in YOUR circumstance. 
Don't give up -- your miracle may be RIGHT around the corner.  
HE loves YOU that much -- He died for you.  Yes you.  

- humbled - Michelle

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Just forget my name....

This post is being typed with a heavy  but hopeful heart.   

Colossians 3.17 says  " And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

So Jesus, as I type, I am thankful and grateful for the MANY people - Your people - that I get to love on and live with, but my heart if feeling heavy today.  It has felt heavy for a few weeks. 

Life was  meant to be easy -- but Satan deceived Eve into thinking that God was withholding something.  And she ate of that apple.   I remind myself all the time,  THIS was not God's plan. 

Pastor Robert Morris's definition of GRACE is :  the unmerited, undeserved kindness of God. 

I have seen that so many times.  Most recently 2 weeks ago when I got to LOVE on a little girl.  Some day I hope she calls me "MeMe".  Taylor and I discussed whether it should be "MiMi" or how I spelled it,  as my given name is Michelle;   but oh, I am thinking now, "MeMe chell would sound pretty good too!!   Taylor and her husband are walking within God's grace in a new season of their lives and we are praying that a transition of 50/50 custody will occur and our kids will be more 'full - time' parents instead of once a week.    I truly did not believe this would transpire until  the child was older..... circumstances seemed unreal and yet very hard and by HIS grace and through MUCH prayer -- we have some undeserved Kindness!   And I am claiming more. 

I asked for that.   I asked for some underserved kindness. 

  I have been, I confess, trying to 'quit' on some assignments for the past 3 months.  I keep telling God HE can find another.  I bargain with Him.   I will tell Him, "Ok, I will do that but you must do this." My dear friend says it all the time, "don't do business transactions with God".  I hear her loud and clear and at the end of the day, the Lord knows I submit and that my bargaining or banter back and forth with Him is just our way of  talking to HIM.  He knows my heart.  He knows I want to hear, "well done my faithful servant".  I seek HIS approval.  Moment my moment. 

In Ephesians 4, Paul says, "as a prisoner for the Lord, then.  I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 

Be completely humble and gently: be patient, bearing with one another in love."

I spoke to one of my siblings  this am, his wife and extended family are dealing with several physical circumstances and diseases -- Chari syndrome, ALS, and Cancer and each day as I walk past my prayer wall/list I see their names and call out to God and just thank Him for the healing that is coming is happening and the grace they are living in as they all walk this out.  My brother's son had some complications with his Appendix this summer and spent a week in the Children's hospital trying to figure out what went wrong.   With prayer and good doctors -- his appendix probably was bad and in  surgery, a nerve must of been nicked -- which cause severe pain afterwards for my 15 year old nephew.   But he is well  now, dressing up to sit with the Varsity Football team each Friday and playing on the JV team as a quarterback.    I praise God, as that young man loves Jesus and I am sure he thanks God everyday. 


I spoke with another -- several in fact, that are dealing with the pain of a child making poor choices, a husband, choosing to walk away from God, and another who just wants to quit -- all of which hurts my heart,  causes it to question God for a nano second cause I want answers for THEM right now and I want to see the goodness of God  in those that are hurting - faster than it is coming.  But God. 

God is RIGHT there with them, providing and extending that grace to them as well. 

Jeremiah 1.5 says:   "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart: I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."   -- God knew all of this. 

So, God knew -- when a dear friend would say, "forget my name"....it will be only temporary --
So, God knew -- when a man took a blood test it would prove there was dugs and alcohol within it --
So, God knew -- that one of my dear loved ones would have a bad week with her medication --
So, God knew -- that another would end her 'weaker' chemo and begin the 'hard' stuff next --
So, God knew -- another would find some HOPE after being without her husband for over a year as he divorced her --
So, God knew that another's prayer to move his ALS  so he could get to heaven faster -- would be a hard one on his family ---
So, God knew -- another would want to quit so badly, but a bevy of prayer walking warriors would stand behind her and remind her NOT to quit --
So, God knew -- that  another's pain would be healed last Sunday and she would testify to it at church on Wednesday --
So, God knew -- that my heart would be heavy for so many reasons in this time, but HE gave me some instant hope that held me --
So, God knew -- that another would go to her knees for her child who is making bad bad bad choices - so bad that going to jail would be a good thing --
So, God knew -- the one that wanted so desperately to 'come clean'  would try her best to seek forgiveness and then get scared away,  because a 'Christian' gave her false hope--
So God knew -- a man would want his wife and children but his pride would keep him away --
So, God knew -- that total peace would be felt in an awkward situation , but our flesh would still want to fuss --

God knows. 

And as I went through my list of ....so God -- YOU knew this and yet...   !!?? 
I could not bargain with Him -- cause I knew that in each of these situations -- God would bring beauty out of the ashes -- in HIS time. 

God will bring that friendship back around and there will be a 360 - In Jesus name!
God will provide the best treatment center for the one  -- and God will do everything in His power to persuade the father to seek treatment  - In Jesus name.!
God will bring that loved one into the next phase of Chemo as her body is weak but her faith is strong - In Jesus name! 
God will bring perfect  healing and a better doctor for that other loved one who is battling this 'syndrome' that needs more clarity, In Jesus name!
God will hold that family as their dad and husband fights against the ALS and gets closer to his home in heaven, In Jesus name.
God will ...  I could go on -- I have -- God will give more hope, as I continue to seek Him and serve Him. 

There is a saying, "God certainly has us wait a long time for some seasons, but HE is never late!"

If you  have felt the pain of rejection this week -- if someone has told you to forget them or you feel forgotten by God because a prayer has not been answered --- as you see it...then get on those knees and just cry out to HIM. 

Say the Lord's prayer.

Read Psalm 25 and then go to John 15.10... where it states - if you obey my commands  - you will remain in MY Love ....   Stay IN HIS love -- He will provide and HE will NEVER forget your name. 


Thursday, September 8, 2016

Asking God for a DIRECT hug!

I had a tremendous weekend. 

 Plenty of rest, a boat ride that was post-poned, and more family time.  I even got to cheer for my son's Soccer team as they played my Alma mater...University of Wisconsin!  

I am busy doing a NEW thing at school with teaching only writing this year and social studies.
Both kids are very busy and one is almost ready to graduate from college in December. 
I had a cold for a good week and some back/neck pain that after prayer, rest, and a good massage that worked wonders and now my husband has that cold.  

Working in a bible study book and then trying to read a new book called, "Without Rival"  - where the basis of the book is that God loves me uniquely. Reminding me that I can't be replaced -- God positioned me for such a time as this.  

 In my classroom, I showed my students how we will blog this  school year and each of them will have their own blog.  Each day this week, they have asked me "when" are we doing that -- well tomorrow is the day.  

There is NO reason why I should be awake and typing -- but this blog just has been itching within my brain.  

And yet, I am -- wide awake and wanted to express what is on my heart - this evening.  

I came to this:  

I am leading YOU, step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy -- even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion: doubting My promises to care for you. Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to Me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go. - Jesus

Deut 29.29 Psalm 32.8

This is from the Jesus Calling Devotional -- it is for February 26th.  I have read it often. 

At times of my life, this devotional - this little prayer from Jesus has GOT ME through to the next day.  At other times, I shared it with another.   

Just a few weeks ago, I had a meeting.  A prayerful meeting but a meeting that caused me a little stress.  However, God showed up and orchestrated the meeting and Holy Spirit ran it.  It was awesome but I said something that night .....something to which the Lord is testing or teaching me.  

Public Opinion.   
What effect or what dominion does it have over me?  

Tricky question?   What did I say that night at the meeting?   I said this:  

The Lord has taught me this summer, that He has an assignment to do through me  and if I choose to ignore Him ---then,  I am being disobedient.  
He has also showed me that if I cower to public opinion or allow the 'hurting words' of another deter me from THAT assignment -- it would be a sin of commission.  

I believe there are sins of omission -- sinning when we did not realize we sinned.  
And sins of commission - when we know something is wrong and DO it anyway - we are openly committing a sin with knowledge and for THAT - I believe our consequence could be greater!! 

So, as I walk each day out and HE has asked me to say something perhaps, speak to another, or do  something or plan it and I don't -- I am indeed not doing God's will.  

I always wish to do his will.  But sometimes...it is hard.  Sometimes, people don't like you very much.  That happened  again.  This time, I WANT to be mad and fight for my feelings and my position or 'view'...but HE has asked me to be still and KNOW that HE is God.   

Big stuff.
Adult stuff.  

And I know that HE has asked me NOT to react or respond but to wait on HIM.  And I have peace.  But still  -- but still, my flesh wants to fuss.   But I choose to trust God.  

Big stuff, adult stuff.  

Some days it is harder than usual and then again on some days, when I feel like God has forgotten me as I am being obedient - HE comes so close and gives me a direct HUG!  

Literally -- through another or a situation, or something just as personal as giving me a dream ...but God provides and answers and sustains me.  

So, I am unsure WHERE YOU are this eve.  Maybe you are struggling to hear from God.  Maybe you need a BIG hug from Him. Maybe you are at the point where HE has given you an assignment and you are being like Jonah and ignoring it or trying to run from it.  

Maybe you are just stuck and wondering why God has answered the prayers of everyone around you and it seems like HE has forgotten you.  Or maybe you are like me, and HE has been teaching you something for some time now and given you tests to show Him you are trusting God and not man.  Or even still, you are more like me in where -- you feelings got hurt his past week and you want to be mad but God has asked you to be still and wait on GOD..   

THEN...   call upon HIM.  Seek HIM.  Read that Jesus calling devotional 10x and write it out and pray it over yourself.  And I will pray that YOU will feel that BIG hug from God very soon.  

I went to church this eve and asked God to meet me there.   One of the songs that our worship leader sang was, "come into His presence". There were many distractions this evening and yet, when I asked God to just meet me right there - HE did.  I felt His hug.  

What did his HUG look like?  I began writing this blog last night and my hug came during worship and then  I was given confirmation when two special women joined me at church.   What did it look like today?    My students blogged and as I opened up the application and reviewed their posts -- in my teaching years, I have never had a student ACTUALLY go home and get on the blog and blog from home and she DID!!   She went home, got on her mom's phone and told her that she had to blog something.   This girl - MADE my night!  A writer is born!   

Anyway -- IF you are asking God something and it seems like you are being forgotten  or if you need a direct HUG, just pray and ask God for one.  HE will provide!!  
And maybe you need to write out that prayer or reminder from Jesus that I shared at the beginning of this blog.  Or maybe even still -- you had an Encounter with God this summer and He has asked you as well -- to deal with 'public opinion'.   So with that -- 

Lord,  heal -- Lord, fix... Lord, direct... and Lord.... give them that hug!  And thank you for mine!!  IN Jesus name.  Amen. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Eunice is writing on Forgiveness this eve ....

  This is from my guest blogger- I named her Eunice:

I forgive you even if you’re never sorry’

Hurting people hurt people.

We’ve heard the line so many times.

It’s a true explanation of our fallen world.
But does it excuse the person’s behavior?
Why do we feel the need to defend ourselves by offending and hurting others?

I just don’t get it.

Most often, that hurt and pain comes directly from the ones we love the most.

This week I was hit with a pretty brutal rumor being spread about me.

A lie believed to be truth that came directly from the one person I love and have trusted the most in this world.

In the midst of grim circumstances, turmoil, chaos, divination, I have remained steadfast in prayers and hopeful God’s promises would prevail.
Reconciliation would come. (I believe it still will!)

I could love enough to stop this attack from the enemy.

But…. when I was told of this blatant lie which taints the definition of the core of my character, my morals, my covenant commitment and all that I am, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions.

Hurt, betrayal, rejection, defeat, anger…. And a need to defend.

What’s the point, right?

Rumors create opinions of people no matter what your character had displayed in the past. It’s so easy to believe the worst of someone instead of a good heart.

I’m not perfect and I don’t have it all right but I do know the accusations against me are wrong. They’re lies and they continue to rip my family apart.

I cry out to God most days to vindicate this. Do not let the enemy have one more marriage, one more family, and one more person.

In this, I am reminded, it is the enemy.

The enemy wants nothing more to create havoc on God’s people.

He sees increase, he sees healing, he sees life and he cannot stand it.

One crack.

When he sees one crack, he slips in so unnoticed. Before you know it, he’s dining with you at the family table; he’s sleeping next to you, stopping you from praying with your spouse or praying at all. He’s there in your mind, feeding you with lies and deception. There is no clarity and even in black and white, he taints the gray areas within the lines of truth to lead you to believe what he has planted in your mind. LIES.

He plays on your past hurts, betrayals and failures planting lies of distrust and failure.

Satan is the master deceiver. He started with lies right in the Garden of Eden. (Genesis 3:4-5)

He disguises his lies as truth and leads many astray. (2 Corinthians 11:3 & 11:14)

His only goal is to devour. He wants to tear down. (1 Peter 5:8)

In the midst of these grim circumstances. I recognize ,my loved one , that is spreading these gut wrenching hurtful lies about me indeed is not the enemy. The enemy is the devil. The one who planted these lies. The enemy used pure circumstances and twisted them to be acts of betrayal. The enemy has lied to my loved one and my loved one believes these lies. 

To my loved one, I say, I forgive you. Even if an apology never comes and even if you are never sorry, I forgive you….. Beyond that, I continue to pray for you. I pray for you because your safety, your happiness, your love, YOUR SOUL means more to me than my comfort. It means more to me than my reputation or what others think about it. I forgive you because God has forgiven me of all of my sins. Because of His abundant forgiveness, I do not have a heart to hold bitter, resentment or grudges. My loved one, you know this because you have witnessed my mercy heart upon others that have wronged me in the past under such horrible wrongdoings. My loved one, I pray you learn to forgive yourself. Open your heart to receive the fullness of God’s love. He’s there. Right there. He wants to give you a clean heart. Not by your works. Not by your might BUT BY HIS. RECEIVE IT! Receive HIS love!

I will not defend myself. God has commanded me to be still. He fights for me (and for you too, my dear loved one!) (Exodus 14:14)

I will forgive because not only is it freeing but it is also a command. (Matthew 6:14-15)

I will love. My faith is expressed through love and the greatest is love. (Galatians 5:6; 1 Corinthians 13:13)

The enemy has not won here! God will always prevail and He will always get the glory! In Jesus Name!

Thursday, September 1, 2016

pure and simple .....God....

This am as I was doing my hair and listening to Psalm 40 - I felt the Holy Spirit impress upon me to just blog -- 

just this...

just this Psalm...
Psalm 40 ....

 ...no more...no less....

I have read it several times today.   I have listened to it and now, looking at it in several versions/translations.  Indeed -- I know another needs to read this tonight....

Psalm 40

For the choir director: A psalm of David.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
    and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
    out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
    and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
    They will put their trust in the Lord.
Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord,
    who have no confidence in the proud
    or in those who worship idols.
O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
    Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
    You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
    I would never come to the end of them.
You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.
    Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand[a]
    you don’t require burnt offerings or sin offerings.
Then I said, “Look, I have come.
    As is written about me in the Scriptures:
I take joy in doing your will, my God,
    for your instructions are written on my heart.”
I have told all your people about your justice.
    I have not been afraid to speak out,
    as you, O Lord, well know.
10 I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart;
    I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power.
I have told everyone in the great assembly
    of your unfailing love and faithfulness.
11 Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me.
 Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles surround me—
    too many to count!
My sins pile up so high
    I can’t see my way out.
They outnumber the hairs on my head.
    I have lost all courage.
13 Please, Lord, rescue me!
    Come quickly, Lord, and help me.
14 May those who try to destroy me
    be humiliated and put to shame.
May those who take delight in my trouble
    be turned back in disgrace.
15 Let them be horrified by their shame,
    for they said, “Aha! We’ve got him now!”
16 But may all who search for you
    be filled with joy and gladness in you.
May those who love your salvation
    repeatedly shout, “The Lord is great!”
17 As for me, since I am poor and needy,
    let the Lord keep me in his thoughts.
You are my helper and my savior.
    O my God, do not delay.

Lord, for the ONE that needed this posted so she or he would read it ....Lord, for me this eve...thank you for reaching down and pulling me OUT of my pit...  I am humbled Lord and so in LOVE with YOUR Word..YOUR love letter to me...to us...   May another fall in love with YOU this eve as well...IN Jesus name...    Michelle