Lord, they are yours. She is yours. I am 'giving' them to YOU...I am NOT giving up, but I am DONE trying to enable...or pacify...or be sweet -- UNLESS...LORD, you intervene with this one, that continues to walk this path...God - I pray that she picks the RIGHT road and I pray that SHE decides...to get a FIX with you..... I can't do it for her...for them. But Lord, I am here...and I will love, show love, and continue to pray when they return. I will.
Lord, I know how my heart ached when I realized that a dear loved one was in habitual sin and how I had NO control to stop it...so I just prayed that this person would be SO sick of the sin......and SO miserable that this person would stop..and SEEK YOU!
Lord, it was a painful time. Lord, there are others right now that I pray the same prayer...and I know that YOU have them...YOU love them as much as me...and I will believe that one day - they will see YOU and reach out to you and it will not be too late. Amen.
Now Lord, for the remainder of this blog - protect it -- I am sharing some personal REAL stuff...but there are women out there that need to read this and understand that - they too - could be struck with leprosy...but praise God, YOU are there to have the 'cure'.
So, back to being struck with Leprosy -- I will confess my sin. I thank God that I did not get that disease when I know that for a period of almost two years...I would purposely flirt with married men and total strangers to get 'love' and feel better because I knew I was not loved by the one I married.
I thank God that when I led bible studies and led prayer groups that I did not appear with leprosy each week...as there was unconfessed sin within my life...and idolatry...and pride. So much pride and a religious spirit that 'felt' I was better than most.
I thank God that I did not get leprosy each pay check -- as I robbed God of what He asked of me...my tithe. For years...and years....
I thank God that I did not get leprosy when I gossiped, slandered, and put others down to make myself 'better'....and I knew that I knew -- I did that and yet -- it continued.
I thank God that I did not get leprosy when I lied and lied and lied and lied...all the time. Whether it was because I was scared, or I was trying to impress, or I had told myself a lie ...that it became real to me. Point is..I lied.
I thank God that I did not wake up with leprosy on several Monday mornings in college after I had spent the night with my boyfriend.
And I thank God that I don't have leprosy....
Get the picture?
What about adultery? Hatred? Wrath? selfish Strife? Heresies or divisons? Murder? Merder with your heart? Lust? Sexual Immorality? Deceit? Pride?
I guess, as I read and reread this portion of scripture today, and as I thanked God that I DID not have leprosy....I knew that I knew ... I 'deserved it'.
But -- Christ went to the Cross for me - and for you . HE paid the price and I have mercy -- a CLEAN bill ...a GET out of jail free card...in HIM. AND HE covered me with HIS blood so I won't be 'struck' with leprosy.
But...what about that habitual sin?
What will this dear one decide? If she continues to sin -- and disobey ...she is YOURS God and I will trust that she won't be lost...that YOUR hand of grace won't be pulled away.
I don't believe anyone can 'snatch me' out of God's hands and my eternal home. But I know that my OWN sinfulness and my own choices and actions could make it pretty hard to believe that heaven could still be awaiting for me.
Maybe if we 'did' get struck with leprosy here and there...some of us would be more careful and SEEK to be HOLY before HIM...and SEEK to really change some habits.
And Maybe if we 'did' get struck with leprosy ...others would TAKE notice and realize....that we are NOT playing games here on this earth...this is NOT our eternal home, this is ONLY temporary.
Ok - enough said... My heart is heavy this eve and yet full of peace.
I pray that my intent is heard...
God wants you to stop sinning... God wants you to be holy in HIS sight.
God wants to have communion and fellowship with you -- and HE wants to bless you and make "all stuff" right...but if you continue to mock Him...lie to HIM...and put HIm 2nd... how can you really expect "stuff" to get better?