Monday, May 20, 2013

When all HOPE seems LOST.....

A message of hope.....for when you feel - YOU JUST can't anymore...... I have it 'pasted' in my bible, and dated as to when it was passed to me.  It was a direct message from God to me through another and I believe another needs to read and believe and soak it in....Amen!

 it was written by David Wilkerson .  It was his final message before his death in April of 2011.

To believe when all means fail is exceedingly pleasing to God and is most acceptable.  Jesus said to Thomas, "you have believed because you have seen, but blessed are those that do believe and have not seen".  John 20.29 

Blessed are those who believe when there is no evidence of an answer to prayer -- who trust beyond hope when all means have failed.   

Someone has come to the place of hopelessness - the end of hope - the end of all means.   A loved one is facing death and doctors give o hope .  Death seems inevitable.  Hope is gone.  The miracle prayed for is not happening.   

That is when Satan's hordes come to attack your mind with fear, anger, overwhelming questions:  "where is your God now? You prayed until you had no tears left. You fasted. You stood on promises.  You trusted."
Blasphemous thoughts will be injected into your mind:  "Prayer failed, faith failed, don't quit on god-- just do not trust Him anymore. It does not pay!"  

Even questioning God's existence will be injected into your mind.  These have been the devices of Satan for centuries. Some of the godliest men and women who ever lived were under such demonic attacks.   

To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word:  Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights - and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, "I am with you. I Cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. 
 It was no accident. 
It was no failure on your part. 
 Hold fast. 
Let me embrace you in your hour of pain."  

Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail -- his love prevails.  Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word.  There is no other hope in this world.  

- David Wilkerson

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Day #39 and Day #40...GOD is so gracious.....

Ok, I am very tired and have written this blog post in my head maybe 4x.  EAch time I change it a bit...but as I came to the 'end' of my 40 days of prayer I wanted to make sure that I said --HIS words --and not mine.

I started this 40 days of prayer because I believe the Lord gave me a 'job'....I was praying for six women in particular but HE brought several more into my circle of prayer time and HE also orchestrated much in our lives.  ....all in 40 days....


I have heard people ask my Pastor, 'how do you hear from God?'  and I know the answer -- you will hear from HIM WHEN you seek HIM.

I so know this to be true as I remember being in counsel with a wonderful lady and as she counseled me I would email her in the am and then read scripture and ask her ...'is this what God is saying?'  And she would try to explain to me the 'how' and I was so confused, but the  HOW...really ONLY comes when you really SEEK HIM and read HIS word and meditate on the word and then do this over and over, and with prayer and careful listening...all of a HEAR from GOD!  

Sometimes I hear from God through a song.
Sometimes I hear from God in prayer.
Sometimes it is an impression and then it is confirmed by another, or HIS word.
Sometimes HIS word for me just LEAPS off the page.
Sometimes it is via another - lately HE has been speaking to me through my husband!

It is the most remarkable feeling.  I usually explain it as, "I just know HE is saying, 'atta girl'!"    And I know, as it is impressed upon me -- with clarity - that HE wants me to do this, or HE wants me to think on this.....or HE wants me to know......

Anyway, as I said, I started this season of 40 days of prayer and it ended today. Today is Day 40. In the past 40 days, I have seen one of those women make a remarkable discovery and take a leap of faith.  I have seen another be 'hit' with an earthquake and she is shaking off the dust and grime but she will rise above the earthquake......!!  I have shared my  opinions to another and maybe I have severed that relationship.  I have given another some advice that was taken and to another it was not received well. I have experienced great peace and yet also great anxiety.   I have watched another dig deep and even another  be hurt even more.  I have hugged one that experienced GREAT loss, and I have prayed with another that is just ready to QUIT.  And there is much more.

And then there is me....I am still this NEEDY woman at times, as my healing can jump on a roller coaster when something 'shakes' it up again.    And something did, as God so clearly reminded me today ...

That I must trust HIM in every situation.  I must NOT try and manipulate things --even when I believe they are for the betterment of something, and I am deeply loved and that HE won't forget about the healing that I still need.

HE is so gracious.....   State Cup was a 'goal' that Hunter has had for 4 years.  He has a National Title with the Super Y League.  He accomplished that as a freshman - 4 years ago.  3 years ago, he went to Southern Regionals as a team that qualified because they were considered #2 in the state.  They played their hearts out but lost in the quarterfinals.  I know - we were there.  It was a HOT Louisiana June and it was just a 'yucky' time in our family.  We laughed today, as Taylor, Hunter and I were reminded that the three of us shared ONE King sized bed there and I had to leave the hotel each day for 4 hours as I did the laundry or some of the team uniforms each day at the rinky dink Laundromat in a very shady side of the town.

  Anyway... the past two years have been frustrating as the boys would always get close but they never captured that STATE CUP title - today they did.  Today, the boys played their hearts out!   But I will tell you something, I knew in my heart that they were going to win - as God impressed upon me that HE was going to give me a gift - another delight.  HE wants complete healing for my family and as we will travel to Oklahoma in June...we will be going to compete in the Southern REgionals as a restored family and we will make many NEW and beautiful memories to go on top of the yucky ones.  This my beloved is HOW much I love you ....God is so gracious and I am so humbled....again, I am floored at WHAT HE does for little old me and my family.......

But I am reminded of the verse:

Jeremiah 7:23

New International Version (NIV)
23 but I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in obedience to all I command you, that it may go well with you

....that it may go well with you ............I trust God.  HE is in control and when we obey HIM, HE is our God and I am HIS people.....and as the verse says - that it may go well with you - it is well with me....

It is going to be well with her...
My boy and the trophy!
It is going to be well with her...

It is going to be well with that one...
It is going to be well with that one....

It is going to be well with her and her husband...
It is going to be well with that precious one...

It is going to be well...for ANY of HIS people that obey HIM.

Lord, thank you for the 40 days of prayer for my sisters in Christ.  But mostly Lord, thank you for the 40 days which changed me again.....I heard you LOUD and clear today - I will remind myself that trusting YOU is what is intended for me.

This is challenging stuff...but I am up for the challenge - I Love you Lord, and I am humbled.
Thank you for giving me a 'redo' of Southern Regionals....this time, God wins!  

Friday, May 17, 2013

Day #36, #37 and today is Day #38....And God speaks.....

Today was a HARD day.  It just was.  It has been a LONG week for that matter--  our home, which we rent,  was sold today.
  ...............Got the news.  .............I cried.   "really?"................

We have been praying for the dear people that own this home,  that God would bring a buyer in HIS time for them.

HE did.

 The family that is buying it will love it as much as we do.

  This home,  which we have been renting now for 14 months,  has been my FAVORITE place....I wanted to buy it,  we wanted to buy it, but.....this is where the God speaking comes.....

God told me ( impressed upon me ) well over a year ago that, 'he would rebuild the home'.  He meaning - my husband.  When I got that from God, I really thought we would be building a home.  We even had plans drawn up and  made.  That did not pan out.  Then we rented a home.  I painted several rooms and we made it ours and spent our first Christmas with my parents in that home..... but God moved us  again to our present home....the one we will have to say good bye too!  

But, like I said ...God spoke.

However,  tonight my husband and I went to our property and asked God....what next?  But we both know that HE will provide another home to rent for the short term and now we are really ready to build a spiritually and emotionally  we are ready!   But....God still has to open some doors and so forth but knowing that  God will provide....and LIVING in that knowledge is the 'hard' part.

To be truthful, I would rather just curl up in my bed....and hid for 2 months...

I don't want to pack.
I don't want to find boxes for the 3rd time.....
I don't want to even think about finding newspapers to pack breakables....
But that is my flesh.

Sometimes it is just easier focusing on the problem  and being 'depressed'.

In a few days, I know God will clear my head and remind me ...HE has it!
In a few days, I pray HE will direct us as to 'where' we will be.

School will be over soon and our minds will be free to seek the next spot to move to -

We thank God for the past 14 the time we leave, we will have lived here almost 16 months and we spent 5 months in our other that is almost 2 years.....

What God has done in the past 2 years is just amazing.
There has been so much many new memories...and just so much FUN in this home.

It will be a treasured memory for the rest of our lives!  
Thank you Lord!

Then I found this posted scripture via Beth Moore on Facebook.

Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people. And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you (Jeremiah 7:23).


What God has done in the past 2 years is just amazing.  
There has been so much many new memories...and just so much FUN in this home.  

It will be a treasured memory for the rest of our lives!   
Thank you Lord!  

Obeying HIS voice is what we are to do.  And HE is our God  and we are HIS people.  
If we never would of 'had to' move from our first home, and had this journey in the past 2-3 years..we would not  be 'where' we are.   

Where we are spiritually...
Where we are emotionally...
Where we are in our lives....
etc.  etc......

We have walked in the ways HE has set before us. 
We continue to seek and ask to walk in HIS ways, which HE has commanded ....

...THAT it may be well with you.....

There it is...THAT is may be well with you....

THAT it may be well with you.....
THAT it may be well with you.....

OH LORD, wash me of my insecurity, wash me of my flesh that is just a little frustrated...and let me see as soon as it is YOUR time what is next....Lord, I will trust you in  THIS situation as well and I know and believe that YOU will bless and the NEXT spot you have for us will be EVEN better.  
Lord, my flesh just does not WANT to wait that long...but I I know what you DO.  YOU do bless us beyond measure.....YOU fight for me...YOU fight for us, and YOU will provide.  

Lord, that it may be WELL.....

Lord, there are several other ladies that have had a BAD week as well....that it may be WELL with them....

Lord, guide them, help them FACE the HARD stuff and overcome their flesh....Give them a supernatural awareness of WHAT you want them to do -- they need a DIRECT word from you.  

You do that Lord - cause that is how awesome you are.  
Bless them this evening which that guidance and direction......even when it may be HARD!  

Day # 35 I too am a recovering Pharisee ...

I had to post this and give credit to the author.....

I too am a recovering Pharisee....

Elisabeth Klein Corcoran

Posted: 15 May 2013 12:00 AM PDT
So this past weekend I got to be on the inside of what goes into a service at my new church.  (I really need to stop calling it that…it’s been six months…it’s not my new church…it’s my church.)  Anyway, so I had been invited to share on creativity and pain with two other members of The Orchard tribe and we were sitting in our pastor’s office before the first service started.  We were hashing out who was going to say what and when and we were talking about how our pain had decreased our judgment and increased our compassion.
I told them how I used to judge people who got divorced.  I told them how I used to size somebody up before getting together with them so I could decide how much grace I would show them.  (I don’t think I did this consciously; I think I did this because I hadn’t experienced the grace of God to the depths that I have now, so I only had so much of my own to hand out to others.)  And I told them how someone recently told me that her husband used to refer to me as a Pharisee when I was on staff.
Back then, I would have taken that as the highest of compliments.  You better believe I’m a Pharisee and you better follow the rules I’m laying out as I try to get all of you errant supposed grown-ups to lead your small groups well so people feel connected, darnit!  Yes, I was a peach to work with.
So, let me say, to every single volunteer who served with me or who I led during my time at Blackberry Creek Community Church and then Christ Community Church – Blackberry Campus, I am so very sorry.  I am so sorry that I was mean.  I am so sorry that I was short-sighted.  I am so sorry that I put my rules over knowing you as a person.  I am so sorry that alot of times you were just a name on a post-it that I had to cross off so I could move on to the next ministry conversation after church on Sundays.  I am so sorry when I used you as a pawn to get all the ministry done that I so desperately wanted to get done “for Jesus”.  I was a leader living in an introvert’s body and my social skills were lacking (still are at times, I’m afraid). And my personal life was a mess but I was both trying to act like it wasn’t and keep it all together at the same time; but those are no excuses.  I wish I could say my heart was always in the right place.  It was a lot of the times but some of the time I just wanted to get my version of God’s Kingdom built the way I wanted it to be built and I hurt so many people with my rough edges and short words and endless emails telling you what to do.  I am so sorry.  I was a Pharisee.
But I’d like to believe that I’m not that way anymore.  To which my pastor replied, “Thank God!”  (In fact, come to think of it, if I were still that way, odds are I wouldn’t have been invited into that conversation.)
Because now I see what I didn’t see back then.  That somehow every single thing that God wants to get done will get done.  That I can trust that the Spirit is big enough for all of this. That people are more important than programs.  That your heart matters.  That your pain is something I can learn from.  That the sentence “so, tell me your story” is about the kindest thing anyone can say to another human being, especially if they’re not checking their watch.  That I came this close to my entire life tanking but Jesus stepped in and said, “I don’t think so,” and reached down and turned everything around, and then reminded me that it didn’t matter really if I messed everything up because he wasn’t going anywhere and he was going to get me through it and he would never stop loving me.  And oh yeah, now that I had experienced all that, it might be a good idea to reach out to others who are hurting and show them the compassion that he had just shown me.
I’m getting there.  But to prove that it’s a process, that I am in fact still recovering from my pharisaical ways: so we were sitting in my pastor’s office and I hear music, and I look down at the watch on the hand of the gal sitting on the couch with me and I think I see that it’s 5.  The service starts at 5.  My heart begins to race.  I’m trying to stay engaged and listen and keep eye contact but in my head I’m screaming, “The service has started! WE NEED TO GO!”  Just then, his assistant peeks her head in and says, casually, as if she’s done this a thousand times (because she probably has), “Service started.”  My pastor stands up which brings me unending relief, until he reaches in his pocket, pulls out his keys and tosses them to her, saying, “My shirt’s in my car…can you go get it for me?”  Church had started AND HE WASN’T EVEN DRESSED FOR CHURCH YET!  I’m dying, but we all stand to pray and we make it into the auditorium just in the nick of time.  And by just in the nick of time I mean with about twenty minutes to spare.  Okay, so I’m not a fully-recovered Pharisee.  But I’m getting there.  I’ll get there.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Day # 34....MISC prayers...

Miscellaneous prayers?  Really?   Is that an oxymoron?   How can any prayer be a miscellaneous request?    
Well....there are MANY different tidbits of prayers being offered up today.....

One right now for healing for a man and his family........he has had a miracle and yet, still needs more help in getting completely well.  

One needs some really BIG advice right now.....she wants to hear from God so intently. 

One has made a major life move...she is timid but wants to be her Lord.  

One needs a good night's rest after surgery today -- she is my Grandma, her leg broke yesterday cause she is just old ( 91) and the bones are brittle, Lord, help her to sleep well.  

One needs a movement of God upon her marriage....

One needs a movement of God upon her heart....

One needs a hurting heart healed.....

One needs vindication.....

One needs comfort like NONE other....

One needs a good night's rest that NOW she is a mommy and tomorrow starts mother-hood!  

One needs......

One unspoken request....

Another unspoken request.......

One needs........ 

I need........ 

The list does go on - praise God we can bring them ALL to HIM, and HE knows are hearts and heads that if we forget one request...HE knows.  

But first I come to HIM and say - thank you Father...praise you for just being YOU...praise you for answering prayers ..yes, but thank you for just being my guardian and my hero.  Thank you Father for forgiving me....for loving me THAT much!  

Today in my quiet time, I read something from the Jesus Calling Devotional.......

Dear Beloved....Do you trust Me to orchestrate your life events as I choose, or are you still trying to make things go according to your will?  If you keep trying to carry out your intentions while I am leading you in another direction, you deify your desires.  Be on the lookout for what I am doing in your life. Worship Me by living close to Me, thanking Me in all circumstances.  !!  - God 

I found myself wanting something for someone so badly....that I almost wanted to orchestrate something and then HE reminded me that .....HIS will needs to be done.  
Did I trust God enough?, I will lay my head down on my pillow and trust that a new day.  
HIS mercies are new again in the morning and tomorrow - I am going to be WOWed again....

As GOD wins.  
Humbly, so humble by HIS faithfulness....amen!  

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Day #33 - Jesus got words of affirmation too....

Today is Mother's Day....many prayers went up for moms all over the world.  Many moms had a harder day as their children celebrated in heaven or their own moms are now with Christ.  Many moms were homeless...many were suffering...and yet others, had no idea that by this time next year -- they would be moms.

It is hard to think globally at times, I mean we are such a self-centered people and barely see past our own stuff....but I got to thinking today as one girl came forward for prayer ....just how blessed so many of us are.

All she wanted was to be 'home with her momma soon...her court date was soon....she had to celebrate her birthday without her momma and she did not want to do that again'.  She is only 7 or 8.  She looks up at you as you pray and just smiles and each Sunday she comes forward to ask for prayer - faithfulness...she needed to hear Miss Linda say, "God is going to answer your prayers".

Words of affirmation.


I am a words of affirmation person as well.  I need them.  I need to know that what I do and what I say is of worth and value.  I don't 'have to' have it all the time...but here and there....I want it.

I also want to hear my God say to me one day, "well done my good and faithful servant".

I do.

My husband has been teasing me a little bit this past weekend, as I opened my mouth and just mentioned that...I could use a card or just a little something...words of affirmation .....written words of affirmation.  However, he knows he does not HAVE to do that...therefore, the teasing.

I laugh.  I remind myself that I used to manipulate and guilt him to death about the NEEDING of a card or something and I would eventually get it - but, it was never what I truly wanted.  I wanted the affiramation to come from him .....without any prompting from the heart.

For awhile, the Enemy made me feel guilty for wanting that.  Now...I did make it an  idol,  but as I got healthy and began to see the problem with me manipulating it....I was able to see what I really did need.

I did need words of affirmation, that is a part of me.  That is how God made me.  It is just now, that God affirms me...when my husband does it too -- it is extra!  

So, as I titled as Brendan and I were listening to a CD of a meeting where the Pastor was speaking about the Prodigal  Son, he shared a story of when Jesus comes to John the Baptist and asks to be baptized.  Of course John is like .."no Lord, you should baptize me".  But Jesus reminds him if scripture and that he is to baptize him.  Then the clouds open up and we hear from the heavens, "this is my son with whom I am well pleased".

And the Preacher spoke and said, "see, even Jesus needed affirmation from his Father".
Brendan and I looked at each other and smiled....we BOTH were so blessed by that statement!  

Even God knew that Jesus needed those words of affirmation.  Wow!

With that my prayer today for my sisters in Christ....

Heavenly Father, this prayer is simple...God, for the mothers out there....affirm them.  Speak to them in such a way this evening...this day...this moment that they can hear, "I am well pleased".  Amen!

To be exact...

The Baptism of Jesus

13 Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. 14 But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?”
15 Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.
16 As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. 17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Day # 32 KNowing whom we are....

Heavenly Father, thank you for completing me and for being the head of everything.  Lord, it is only in you that I am alive (Eph 2.5) and it is only within you that I can walk out any day, smile at any adversity, and celebrate that YOU win.  Lord, thank you for giving me the chance to be free from sin and death (Rom 8.2)  and thank you that fear does not have to overtake me (Isaiah 54.14).  
Heavenly Father, because I am of you, the evil one can't touch me (1 John 5.18) and I am holy and without blame before YOU in love as YOU are my Father. (Eph 1.4, 1 Peter 1.16)

Lord, I can think like you (or try to) cause I have your mind (1 Corin 2.16) and this brings peace,  which  trespasses  all understanding.  It is supernatural. (Phil 4.7) You are the Greater one and You are living in me....therefore I can overcome, rather than those that are in the world. ( 1John 4.4)

And I thank you Father God that I have received a gift of righteousness and that you reign as KING in my life because of Jesus.  ( Rom 5.17)  Amen.  

When I stop and really dissect whom I am in Christ - it becomes power.
 A good power.
 After some research, I found there are some 147 scripture references as to whom we are in Christ.  More research led me to Joyce Meyer's site with a list of 40+ I am statements.....also scriptural as to whom we are in Christ.  I know, that as I worked on a bible/book study which dealt with our insecurities and WHOM we were in Christ--- God began to change me...or maybe TOUGHEN me up!   It is easier to deal with conflict and a crisis of faith when we know that we KNOW who has our back.

Upon working on that study and then trying to LIVE in that knowledge and make it a part of my thinking.....( which takes a lot of time - still retraining my brain)....   I can think of the verse that says, we have PUT OFF the old man and PUT on the new man...which is renewed ( Colossians 3.9, 10)...and that is sort of how I would have to be each day. Renewed.

Putting off  the 'old way' of handling a situation...talking to myself...walking myself through it...crying, maybe getting alone, and then asking  God for intervention......acting like the new person I was with the mind of Christ.  (Sometimes what is actually LOOKED like was me just smiling and holding my lips shut and telling myself - DEAL WITH THIS later! )

I am just saying -- IT Is not easy at times.  Not easy.

 Today is Day #32.  Today, I probably need to give my Cell Pastor a call and just share with her something that happened yesterday  and let her listen and then pray over I know I have to 'let' this knowledge just fade into memory.

 And yet, it was also answer to my  prayer, as I continually ask God to reveal to me anything that can cause me pain that I need to yet deal with, or reveal to me these secret questions I have about stuff....and I ask God to let  me be the first to know what his head is thinking when he is processing something that affects me. And it is not worth sharing publicly cause it would hurt another  but it is something that the Enemy wants to hold over me.  It just is.  Words.  (Words bring life and yet they can also set you back.)   I have said this many times before..forgiveness is a process...a process and it comes in layers.  And as we live, when something new is revealed and it is connected to a past hurt..we have to RE-forgive...and put the proper perspective on it!

   And, it is THAT time of the month where my hormones are UP and just wanting to aggravate me, but knowing that also makes my tongue cautious...and my mind will  remind me...THIS too SHALL pass.  But that is the challenge of being a woman ...a woman that WANTS to be more Christ like....a woman that does not want to give the Enemy a single millimeter of a stronghold any power!
I choose to put the photo of me getting my cycle permit in this blog.  It reminded of another HARD thing I did...a thing that SCARED me to death and yet, I did it...I got it...I did what I set out to do.  There was such a high after that...

And this just does not apply to THIS certain situation that occurred yesterday, but it happens often when two people  live together.  There are certain 'housework or ground rules' that have to be agreed upon to live in the same spot.  There just are especially when both people in the home are working now, the old stero-typical jobs needs to be re-evaluated.  Period.   We are to become one flesh and yet...we won't be made perfect until heaven.  The balance of living and loving with that same person can be difficult and yet MOST rewarding!  My heart has been in prayer for several couples that have either come to Brendan and I or we just know are hurting.   But my heart has ALSO been  in prayer for my  own marriage and ministry together -- that is the cool thing...GOD is in it all.  As becoming one flesh is what God says we become as we are married...and yet, it does not FEEL that way!  Anyway, back to where I started.  

Knowing who I am in Christ is power!!  

After  praying, blogging,  and praying ( I pray as I type- obviously as much of this is NOT me but the Holy Spirit speaking to me!)  and posting this, my heart is already happier and my mind has peace again.  Supernatural peace!    I prayed and asked God -- the ULTIMATE Cell Pastor to take away the sting of the revealed knowledge I received, but I also asked Him, my Daddy, to comfort me and HE gave me this blog....HE gave me new eyes again.    AS I have the spirit of wisdom and the revelation of the knowledge of the eyes of my situation have been enlightened - (Ephesians 1.17-18) 

Be willing to search and seek WHO you are in Christ.  I recommend Beth Moore's book, "So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to me"  And I also recommend Kay Arthur's book, "Heal my Hurts".  Walk through His word, the Psalms are especially comforting.  

I started with a prayer for anyone...I am going to copy/cut and paste it below and personalize it for me, as this am this 40 days of prayer...My heart NEEDED HIM this am!  

In Him, Michelle 

Heavenly Father, thank you for completing me and for being the head of everything.  Lord, it is only in you that I am alive and it is only within you that I can walk out any day, smile at any adversity, and celebrate that YOU win.  God you have done this for me, YOU have been my Rock to which I can always run too.  Yesterday when I know the Holy Spirit and YOU were right there, next to me as I listened to the knowledge revealed..I could feel your strength and yet, my human flesh just wanted to fall down and die..and yet, I stood there- it HAD to be ...because YOU were right there...holding me.  Up.   
Lord, thank you for giving me the chance to be free from sin and death  and thank you that fear does not have to overtake me.   Thank you Holy Spirit for putting me with people that LIFT me up and thank you for the love he expressed and God I praise you because I KNOW that he knows you.  
Heavenly Father, because I am of you, the evil one can't touch me  and the memory of the words will be just that - a memory.  Oh I bet the enemy will try again to throw them back up..but YOU win.  I am accepted, adopted, beloved, chosen, forgiven and redeemed....I am YOURS and I am holy and without blame before YOU in love as YOU are my Father.  Thank you for the forgiveness of my sins.  
Lord,  cause I have your mind  - I can hear and see you today which  brings peace, which  trespasses  all understanding.  It is supernatural. You are the Greater one and You are living in me....therefore I can overcome this recent wrinkle in the healing and it is OVER. 
And I thank you Father God that I have received a gift of righteousness and that you reign as KING in my life because of Jesus.   Amen.  

God I also pray now...that WHOMEVER is reading this.....may it bring them some of your peace too -- and if not...God, may they RUN to you to find it!  Amen.!

Friday, May 10, 2013

A REposting of the 'SANDY FACTOR'....I needed to reread this!

  This was a post I did back in November of 2011...That SANDY -- is having Back Surgery this month and is in deep pain but I know that God is going to heal I am going to speak that...and pray that..and watch God do HIS work.  
But I am also reposting this....for another....

Ok, first of all, I am just so excited......when God gives me the WHAT to write about and then practically writes it for me...... I just get so excited.  I always wanted to publish a book or write and this allows me to do so.  It is the BEST sort of writing...I get to write is published..........and it is there for others to read and enjoy or not.  I get the therpy of writing and the joy of knowing that God gave this to me. 

And, I pray and believe it is written to help another, pay it forward so to speak.  Everything that I do or say now -- I really want it to be about GOD, sharing HIS love for me and how HE can set the captives free. 

Ok - back to the Sandy Factor. 

Ok.  If you must know, the past 3-4 years have been pretty rough in my personal life.  However, God has used different friends... new ones... old ones... faithful ones... to speak and minister to me.  God is like that.  HE is our BEST friend and he places certain ones in our path. 

Ok,  now to Sandy, and there is NO coincedence that her name was Sandy, that is my mom's name.  God has a GREAT sense of humor and purpose and HE reminds me that my mom is one of my best friends too.  But his Sandy is not my mom. 

Let me explain.  In my pain and pathetic state about a year ago, I would drag my  butt to church and each Sunday walk up for prayer, cry, break down, and believe  THAT God was going to heal and restore my family.  It became a regular thing.  I was pathetic....I grabbed at the people who were showing me hope.  One Sunday, in January, just after Christmas, the Enemy really lied.  That morning he continued to tell me that I did not need to go forward...nothing was changing... I could pray from my pew.. people were sick of me walking up there, crying and looking all pathetic.  And I believed the Enemy.  I did. 

I sat in my pew, head down, tears falling out of my eyes and just asked God again,   .....why?.......
After only a few moments, a beautiful lady came up to me, put her arm around me and said,  "Your name is MIchelle right?".  And I looked up at her through my blurry eyes, and shook my head yes.  I had no words.  And she said, "you don't know me, but I know you.  I have been praying for you for months, my name is Sandy and I am here to tell you that God loves you and HE is going to heal your marriage".  I just melted.  She was mom, grandma, and best friend all wrapped into one and she has such a belief that it could happen.  She ENCOURAGED me.  She helped me hold on, one more day. 

The next weekend came and again, I sat in my pew and she joined me and prayed.  The next, I went forward but would not actually go up for prayer and she came to me.  Again... The Sandy Factor.  Everytime I saw her, she just held me and prayed and believed that my husband was a good man and that God was dealing with him and that he would be the man I needed him to be.  Her hope, her hopefullness was contagious.  The Sandy Factor. 

She continued to pray, call me and then I began to meet with her at a cell group each Tuedsay.  We prayed often, I cried when she went back 'home'  and I look forward to her winter visit again.  She has never met my husband, but has prayed for him for over a year... can you believe that?  That is a human...being Jesus to me.  That was God. 

The Sandy Factor has returned.... I coined that phrase... I want to be 'sandy' to others... 
Lord,  bless the original Sandy right now, thank you for her love for you and her new friends.  Lord, bring others to my path, I want to be 'sandy' to them. 

I love you Lord, Thanks. 


I want what you want Lord... Matthew 6.33.

When has God used you to be 'sandy' to another?  Please share it with me...if you would like... make a comment!  Thanks. 

A Year ago - Grandma Ziemann went to see Jesus and Grandpa!

  I knew it was 'close'....but, I called my mother - n- law to make sure and yes, Grandma did slip into Jesus' arms on May 7th 2012...I went to dig and found my blog post from May 6th - the day before.   I loved reading it.  

Yesterday a dear man went to see Jesus - he hired a fresh college kid that has JUST finished her student teaching back in February of 1988....many years ago.  He hired me to be the ART teacher - I had real fun that year.  Anyway, I was thinking of him today and all the fun in heaven.  I prayed for his wife and family who know where he is...but it is still hard.  

I was reminded of another friend that is dealing with the loss of a is so hard.  Praise God we have our Lord.  

I am reposting this in honor of Brendan's grandma....and mine too...she had a birthday yesterday ..I believe she is now 91!     Happy birthday to Mary Ellen Peirick in Wisconsin -- you are missed too!  ....

maybe tonight Grma will see Jesus

Maybe tonight, my Grandma Africa will see Jesus.  She really is not my grandmother, but I claim her.  She is Brendan's grandma  by blood.  Marilyn's mother.  However, she is my grandma, cause I love her like my own grandma and I know she loves me that much too.   She is Hunter and Taylor's great-grandma as well as others....she has several grandkids and great-grands....and she even has 2 great-great grandkids!

Bernice Ziemann  or Wanda B. Ellis Ziemann will be 96 or 97 this August.  I can't remember right at this moment.  Over a year ago, she fell and broke her hip and had to go to the nursing home.  She has been there ever since.  Up until then, she was living with Lowell and Marilyn at Indian Hammock and we enjoyed her company on visits into town, or family stuff.  Several years ago, Grandpa went to see Jesus and then a few years later, Grandma came to live in Florida.

When she went to stay at the Nursing home, I went to see her each morning and I would take her coffee.  I would stop there on my way into school.  I believe I became a regular.  I would stop at the 7-11 and get her the HOUSE blend.  I tried a few other flavors but the HOUSE blend became her favorite.  Some mornings, she was just too tired to wake up, but other days, she would enjoy that coffee.  I would stop on the way home too, and maybe feed her or help feed her and steal some chocolate or bring her a cheeseburger from McDonald's.  Some days she was not in pain...others were harder.  Slowly, she  healed but we knew she would never really walk again.

I remember one visit when I followed her into physical therapy and she was being quite a stinker.  She did not want to participate and yet, she wanted to walk again.  We all knew, she was getting a little harder to take care of and being in the loving care of the people there was best.

She never wanted to watch TV.  She always wanted to go home, and she loved to have visitors.  She also loved orange slices, licorice, and chocolate. She would get her hair done each Friday and loved to sing at the church service in the dining hall each Sunday.  She also kept her quick wit for most of the time.  One time during an Easter thing last year, she was suppose to put this Easter Bonnet on her head that was made for her.  She looked at me and said, "I am NOT wearing that ugly thing, make it disappear".

Last March, April, and May were very hard months for me personally and seeing her each day, being able to visit with her, even if it was only for 10 min, was a delight and a treat.  I would read her psalms and tell her about my day.   I don't think she ever fully understood that my heart was breaking, but being able to just share my day with her and then read to her, would lift me up EACH time.    There were many nights, when I curled up next to her in her bed and just laid there....not wanting to go home, not wanting to face my own struggles.  She would laugh at me and call me silly, but she would tell me she loved me and that is all I needed.

This may seem strange, but at the time....I was mourning the loss of, well, I was mourning the possible loss of my marriage...and with it ...I was deceived to believe that I would loose my grandma..her, and my family.....too....the 'n' laws.  Now, that did not happen and I know now and realize that probably would NOT of really happened, but when a family is broken, there are changes that do occur.  Sometimes it just can't be helped.  There is usually a 'new kind of normal'.  If that makes sense........anyway,  I would sit by Grandma's bed and look in her eyes and tell myself, "you are my grandma and  I won't let anyone tell me otherwise".  Most of the time she was sound asleep -- but those little moments with her and God...well, it just sustained me.

God used her.

 Little by little, the visits would get farther apart as summer came,   we moved, and then I started a new job.   My drive to work was no longer in the  path of the nursing home.  By the time I would be able to see her, she was asleep.

Since Christmas, visits were harder, she began to forget more, and she was not 'herself' as often.  She sleeps more, eats less, and our lives just got  busy again.  Visits were here and there.  We celebrated her birthday....then everyone came for Christmas and we got to celebrate that.  She was so tickled.  Visits were harder, as you want to remember her as she was.

Like, when Bren and I were in college.  We, Brendan and I,  ate at her house every Thursday night.  She always made tenderloin and we became spoiled!  I was always in my Kohl's uniform as I went straight to work from supper and then Brendan did laundry.  It became a weekly habit for several years.  Then we moved to Florida, and each summer and winter her home,  with Grandpa, became our headquarters.  We had the entire basement to live in for a week or two as we visited and ran all around Wisconsin.

Right before Grandpa went to heaven, she had broken her back and he was having some surgery and Brendan and I happened to be there in the middle of it.  I was taking Grandpa to his doctor appointments before his surgery and trying to get Grandma to the doctor as well.  I will never forget as we were in one  of the many doctor's offices and the nurse said, and "who is this lady?"....And Grandpa said, "she is our grand-daughter".....and he never explained it was by marriage or I was the wife of their grandson.  I  loved that was so sweet.

I can't tell you how many times I have relieved that memory over and over in my mind in the past 10 meant a lot.

In college, Grandma and Grandpa had LOTS of advice for the two of us....and Grandma was always worried about something.  You see, Marilyn and Lowell were in Florida while Brendan and I were still in college and therefore, she worried.  I remember being told, 'now don't say anything to grandma about that - she will just worry'.   Worry.  Worry -- or pray.  That woman was a prayer warrior.  She loved her bible and little by little stories would be shared about Africa and their ministry.

Those are all memories, I treasure.

However,  yesterday, when I visited, I recalled how ...even when she did not know or understand what I was going through...God used her to bless me.  After awhile, she did not remember my name.  I would visit and say, "who am I?"  And she would reply, "you know your name, why do I have too?". And I would laugh.  Then I would tell her and she would smile.  She began to repeat herself and ask questions that made you realize she was confused.  She would still be feisty at times too, especially if you did not see her for a bit.  She would get mad.

I went to see her yesterday and I looked into her eyes and said good-bye. It was very hard.  She had stopped eating a good month ago.  She is no longer drinking and she does not look like the grandma we remember.  Brendan does not want to see her, he wants to remember her as in the photo I will post with this.  I crawled into bed with her yesterday and sang to her.  I looked long and hard into those eyes and I believe she did see me.  I stayed long enough to see her smirk.  She tired to suck out of a straw but she is so week.  I prayed for her.  Her eyes said a lot.  Her eyes told me, she probably understood all those mornings when I would wake her and bring her coffee and I would cry....her eyes told me, she loved me.  Her eyes relived the memories I reminded her of....of our college years....of our visits to various places....of our talks on the back porch with Grandpa...of the Father's great love....of her healing in Africa of a heart attack...I talked and talked and cried...and she hummed I believe when I sang to her the African song she taught us.  And before I left, I said, I love you Grandma and she replied, "I love you too honey".  I heard it as clear as a bell.  I realized it took all of her strength to say it.

It blessed me so.  I prayed tonight that...tonight she would see her husband again, and the HOST of angels and saints that are there in heaven because of the work God did through her obedience.  I prayed that she would just peacefully slip away.  She has been asking God to take her home for several months now...maybe tonight it will happen.  Even if it is not tonight....I know it will be in HIS timing.

HIS timing is perfect.  She has led a wonderful life.  She made a difference...her light has shined so bright for so long.  I can't wait for her to be present with HIM.....

Lord, thank you for my grandma.  Thank you for our coffee chats, and for the times I could crawl up into her bed and just be close to her.  Thank you for giving me such a sweet grandma to love and cherish for the seems so hard to believe it has been that long.  Lord, give me a dream tonight -- or a vision into heaven...let me see her dancing with you and Grandpa....if it is YOUR will.

Thank you Lord for letting me say good bye to her yesterday.
Thank you Lord for Grandma Africa.
Thank you.

DAY # 30 Knowing the order, Christ, hubby, family ..then blogging..

#30 was Wednesday.  Much prayer and a  breakthrough.
#31 - Thursday.  More prayer and breakthroughs....

But I must state of the things that I had to learn the hard way--was  to put things into order.  After Christ, comes my husband and then my kids and THEN my church 'blog' ministry time.

THis week has been a week of fasting and prayer for six particular needs/items/movements of God...and I am FLOORED as to what HE has done...

One is not to BOAST about fasting, but I believe it is one of the most powerful ways that God uses to refresh and get us focused on HIM.  So, I will share that for knowledge....fasting is what we are called to do.  Read in HIS word where Jesus tells us about needed prayer and fasting. 

There have been a few breakthroughs...
I have seen answered prayer...
I have been refreshed...

We had a few interesting discoveries....

I have been HELD by HIM....
I have been comforted by HIM...and...
I have see more heartache in others and I have even felt a miracle was around the corner!  

Well, as I said, I have had to learn the importance of order.   There was just NO time extra on Wednesday and Thursday to post. And I have no condemnation within the body of Christ, therefore I could lay my head down on my pillow and skip the posting until later.  

The last time the Lord called me to write 40 days of prayer for a secret sister, I posted 40 days...each day...but I was in a different place. 

 My husband and I were together, but we were still very 'new' and distant and just beginning the restoration of our marriage and our lives and our hearts...and I had more ALONE time...time to retreat to the computer or bedroom by myself....

I sit here amazed at what the past  15 months has done...and I don't have as much time.
But GOD knows.
God knows the reason I began this 40 days of prayer again...and those women,  the ones that started my reason to blog,   understand that order and I believe they know I am praying even if I don't post.

And I know that I don't HAVE to post...  does that make sense?
It does to me...

There is such a freedom in I WANT for many around me.....

Anyway.....more later - today is Friday.

I will post this prayer which has been said and shared a lot me!

Lord,  this prayer is for my family and me.  I have not stopped thanking God for 
Brendan , Hunter and Taylor and me    . . . I pray for them  constantly, 17 asking  you God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give Brendan and ME    spiritual wisdom[f] and insight so that we  might grow in the  knowledge of  YOU, God. 18 I pray that our  hearts will be flooded with light so that he can understand the confident hope YOU have given to those you  call—MY  holy people who are rich and in  glorious inheritance.[g]
 19 I also pray that Brendan and I  will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. 21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with him.  Lord,we are  a part of that body, may we understand that we are loved and live and work as your servants in that knowledge.  

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Day #26.....27....28....when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place..

Day # 29   Monday....
Day # 30 ...Tuesday....

OK OK OK....I did not write NOTES from back on
Friday and Saturday and Sunday but my prayers for my sisters in Christ, for my family, and for me, and for others...have been very similar.

Well, I mean God spoke to me and I had a few 'blogs' to write but to be totally honest - today, all I want to do is post this scripture from Isaiah.

I mean, I am at peace today and there is joy in my spirit, but my heart is also very heavy as my flesh wants to lash out..well, not maybe lash out but rebuttle.  But, as I said, I have this peace that can't be explained - other than it is supernatural.

People make mistakes.
I do  - often.
But I have learned a few things in my journey of the past three is to trust God. That I can do HARD, and that God knows my heart.

This scripture says it best...

Isaiah 43

The Message (MSG)

When You’re Between a Rock and a Hard Place

43 1-4 But now, God’s Message,
    the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
    the One who got you started, Israel:
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
    I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
    When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
    it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
    The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
    all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
    That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
    trade the creation just for you.


Monday, May 6, 2013

Day #25 ....justification.....

A little different of a prayer this eve...

Psalm 5

The Message (MSG)

A David Psalm

1-3 Listen, God! Please, pay attention!
Can you make sense of these ramblings,
my groans and cries?
    King-God, I need your help.
Every morning
    you’ll hear me at it again.
Every morning
    I lay out the pieces of my life
    on your altar
    and watch for fire to descend.  Lord, I do seek you each morning and I need your help.....deeply.  
4-6 You don’t socialize with Wicked,
    or invite Evil over as your houseguest.
Hot-Air-Boaster collapses in front of you;
    you shake your head over Mischief-Maker.
God destroys Lie-Speaker;
    Blood-Thirsty and Truth-Bender disgust you. It is so great Lord to know that you won't socialize with them and yet I know you still love them...they are lost...
7-8 And here I am, your invited guest—
    it’s incredible!
I enter your house; here I am,
    prostrate in your inner sanctum,
Waiting for directions
    to get me safely through enemy lines.
9-10 Every word they speak is a land mine;
    their lungs breathe out poison gas.
Their throats are gaping graves,
    their tongues slick as mudslides. OH how It seems at times that our words are like landmines...ouch!  

Pile on the guilt, God!
    Let their so-called wisdom wreck them.
Kick them out! They’ve had their chance.
11-12 But you’ll welcome us with open arms
    when we run for cover to you.
Let the party last all night!
    Stand guard over our celebration.
You are famous, God, for welcoming God-seekers,
    for decking us out in delight.