Here is #2 of my God given gifts this am...... If you read Expecting 38 #1, you read that I awoke with a heavy heart and then prayed. Then God gave me two different blogs that reminded me of the same thing...HE is in control and HE can be trusted. I copied, cut, and pasted this blog as well. I know that I know - this is 'wrong'...but I am giving full credit to both women. Both women are walking with God daily and doing HIS work. God is so sweet, as the Holy Spirit spoke to me and encouraged me to go ahead and put out there - what is bothering me today --as it is a test as well -- He also gave me the encouragement to be reminded....HE will wins. God wins. This blog is a long one - but it is worth the read and I wanted HERE so that I could come back to it again -- and I will share it with another - I am sure. Be blessed as you read.
My Story of Healing
“Chris, you have cancer.” Not quite the words I was expecting to hear when I landed in Sydney Australia for our annual Hillsong conference on June 27 this year.
It was 9am in Australia, and my doctor in the US had called to give me the results of the Thyroid biopsy I had done before boarding my flight to Australia.
The C word.
That word normally sends fear, dread and terror surging into the hearts of people.
It sounds so final. Terminal.
It seems like everyone, everywhere has known someone, somewhere who has, or has had, cancer.
My own father died of lung cancer when I was 19 years old.
- I saw first-hand how cancer eats away a healthy body.
- I saw what chemotherapy and radiation therapy could do to a body.
- I watched my dad go from a strong independent man to a weak and frail one.
- I watched my dad’s beautiful mane of hair fall out, section by section.
- I drove him to treatments when he could no longer drive.
- I sat in waiting rooms, waiting for him to come out of surgery.
- I watched my dad become a walking skeleton.
- I heard my dad being sick. Ever so sick. Always sick.
- I saw what hope deferred could do to a family.
- I learned what a financial burden endless treatments could be.
- I saw my mother feeling helpless, hopeless, afraid and desperate.
- I prayed desperate, fervent prayers that seemed to change nothing.
- I felt the fear that had taken up residence in our home.
- I heard the word remission spoken two weeks before my father died.
- I lived with faith and hope that he would be healed.
- I saw my mum holding my dad’s body after he died in her arms.
- I watched my distraught brothers try to process life without their hero.
- I felt the disorientation of the loss of the head of our family.
- I went to my father’s funeral.
- I graduated and was not able to celebrate with my dad.
- I walked up the aisle without my father on my wedding day.
- My husband never got to meet my father.
- My daughters never got to meet their grandfather.
- I’ve never seen my father’s face smiling at me when I’ve preached.
- I’ve never been able to call my dad and tell him we rescued another girl.
- I’ve never been able to give my dad one of my books.
- It’s been 29 years since I’ve been able to talk to my dad.
Make no mistake. I was very familiar with the word, cancer.
I am 48 years old and have lived long enough now to know many people who have had, or currently have cancer. I have prayed for multitudes of people with cancer.
Some have lived; some have died. I will always continue to pray that God heals people who are suffering from cancer.
I never expected to be diagnosed with cancer, but there I was, diagnosed with cancer.
Was it stage 1, 2, 3 or 4, I wondered?
Was the growth in my throat cancerous too?
Was it isolated and contained, or had it spread into my lymph nodes?
How on earth could I have cancer?
I was fit, healthy and a faith-filled, preaching woman of God.
Had they made a mistake?
Would I have to get straight back on a plane to America?
Could I handle chemo or radiotherapy if I needed it?
Was this how I was going to go home?
What would happen to Catherine and Sophia?
What about Nick and all our yet-to-be-realised dreams and plans?
What about my responsibilities at the conference?
It was only a split second, but all these thoughts and many more went swirling through my mind. I took a deep breath and answered:
“Leslie, it’s okay. Cancer is not terminal. Life is terminal. I will live every second of every day that God has ordained for me to live on this earth, and then I will go home. The devil has no authority over my life. The blood of Jesus covers me, and He will take me home when He wants me. I don’t know how I’m going home, but like most people, I imagine that death will be the doorway; I just don’t think it’s time yet. I am not afraid of dying; that is inevitable, and I just refuse to allow the word cancer to grip me with fear. Tell me what we need to do. I am at a conference this week that is themed, “No other Name,” and I believe that there is a Name that is higher than the name of cancer, and that is the Name of Jesus. We are on a battlefield, not a playground; it’s time to go to war. You tell me what to do medically, and I will fight this spiritually, and whatever happens, Jesus will have the final victory.”
In one week, I had gone from going to the doctor for a sore throat, to being diagnosed with four separate conditions in the one area of my body that is most used to do what God has called me to do.
- A growth on the right side of my throat
- Vocal cord nodules
- A throat infection
- Thyroid cancer
A lot can sure happen in a week.
I knew a weapon had been forged against me. I don’t believe that sickness comes from God, because God is good and does good; but I know that we are in a spiritual battle and that bad things can happen to good people because we live in a fallen world. The devil came for my jugular, my voice. He wanted to silence me and sent a full-on assault to bombard and overwhelm me. I had received one negative diagnosis after another. It was relentless.
His plan was to fill me with fear so that he could deactivate my faith. Fear cripples, immobilizes and paralyses us. It causes us to pull back from God instead of pressing in to Him and His Word, To speak doubt and unbelief instead of faith. To forget His promises, instead of remembering His faithfulness. To see the facts, obstacles and giants instead of the truth of His Word. To react rather than respond. Fear simply shuts us down, and when we are shut down we cannot fight the good fight of faith.
I had a faith battle ahead of me, and the real enemy was not cancer, but fear.
I was blindsided by a surprise attack, but God was not. I felt many emotions and very vulnerable, but I could also feel God’s Presence with me in a palpable way. This was going to be yet another chance for me to practice what I so often preached to others.
- I had to choose to cover the problem with the promises of God.
- I had to choose to silence the giant with the Word of God.
- I had to choose to see beyond the wall to the victory on the other side.
- I had to choose to walk by faith and not by sight.
- I had to choose to combat fear with faith.
- I had to choose to replace the facts with the truth.
- I had to choose faith warriors to walk through the fire with me.
- I had to choose to saturate myself in the Presence of God.
- I had to choose to devour the promises of the Word of God.
- I had to choose to silence fear, doubt, unbelief and negativity.
- I had to choose to guard my confession.
- I had to choose life and not death.
- I did not know the size of the battle ahead, but I knew it was warfare.
You don’t casually stroll into battle. You intentionally suit up and march in fully armed and covered.
And …
- I still had to mother my children.
- I still had to be a wife to Nick.
- I still had a ministry to keep running.
- I still had speaking engagements to honour.
- I still had a book coming out, called Unstoppable. (Was I prepared to be?)
- I still had the Miracles, Signs & Wonders worship tour coming up with Kari Jobe.
- I still had the Women of Faith fall season starting.
- I still had some speaking on a Hillsong worship tour coming up.
This was one of the busiest and biggest seasons of my entire year. If you had asked me, I would have told you that I had no time or margin to fit in a physical health battle. But battles never come at convenient times, do they? I had to trust that God knew what was going on in my life and that if He brought me to it, He would bring me through it. His grace would be sufficient for me.
Surely God will instantly heal me because I need my voice to do all of these things ... Of course, I thought this. Often. I mean, He could, couldn’t He? I believe in the marrow of my bones that Jesus still heals today. I believe in the supernatural, miracle-working power of God. How else could I be saved, if I did not believe by supernatural faith that Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, died on the cross, rose again on the third day, sits at the right hand of the Father, and is returning one day soon? Yes, pretty much everything I believe requires supernatural faith.
Believing God can heal today requires less faith for me than believing Jesus Christ would die for my sins. That still blows my mind.
I wanted to be delivered FROM this situation, but ten weeks later, I discovered God wanted me to walk THROUGH this.
When I first heard the report, I did not know how large the nodule was in my thyroid. I did not know what stage the cancer was in. I did not know if the growth in my throat was benign or malignant. I did not know the extent of damage to my vocal cords, nor did I know how bad the infection was. My mind started racing down the worst track like a runaway train, and I had to pull it back before it hit a wall and caused irreparable destruction.
Would it make any difference to my battle plan if I knew more?
Did I believe God could heal stage 4 cancer as much as stage 1?
Would I worship Him in the fiery trial?
Would I bring every thought captive in this season?
Would I trust God during the test?
Could I still boldly proclaim His Word while having incomplete answers?
Would I trust His grace to get me through any medical processes?
Would I count every day as a gift and not worry about tomorrow?
Would I be more passionate about souls being saved than ever?
Would I believe for more rescues than ever?
Would I pray for sick people with more faith than ever?
Would I remain at my post no matter what?
Would I get my affairs in order and trust God with my future?
The same God that was with me before the phone call was the same God that was with me after the phone call. He had not changed, but I now had an opportunity to walk through a trial that would forever change me. I think sometimes not knowing can be harder than knowing. The truth is, we don’t know nearly as much as we think we do, and we control even less than we know. Only God is all-knowing, so I had to trust what I knew about the One who knows everything. We were about to go deeper in our relationship than we had been for a while because that’s what trusting God does. It draws you closer to Him.
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4)
Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake in Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. (1 Peter 4:12-13)
Who you walk through the fire with is CRUCIAL.
I reached out to and surrounded myself with faith warrior chicks who only spoke faith, hope, healing, strength and courage into my life.
In the middle of a battle, you do not need “worriers.”
You need WARRIORS who will declare, decree and confess the promises of the Word of God over your life.
You need friends who will remind you:
- “Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world.”
- “By His stripes you are healed.”
- “No weapon formed against you shall prosper.”
- “You shall not die but live and declare the works of the Lord.”
- “Don’t forget the benefits of God. He heals all our diseases.”
- “The Lord will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds.”
- “Affliction will not rise up a second time.”
- “The power of the Lord is present to heal you.”
I am so grateful for every person who prayed for me during this period, to my faithful brothers and sisters in Christ who are prayer warriors, and to whom I am forever indebted. They sustained me through the entire process. They went to battle for me. You have no idea how much you need strength and encouragement from faith-filled people until you are running out of strength and courage. We need each other so much. So much more than we think we do. It is not good for man to be alone.
July became a series of tests, ultrasounds, more tests and more ultrasounds. I sat in many waiting rooms full of cancer patients. So many were all alone. I could see the fear in their eyes. People who had lost all of their hair. People who could no longer walk unaided. People marked with radiation lines. People bruised from endless needles and bumps. My heart almost stopped as I watched a father wheel his son into the treatment room. I have two daughters who have never been sick. Not like this. Dear God. Mercy. Grace.
My heart broke for them. Compassion overwhelmed me, and I knew why I was there. I needed to see this. I needed to feel this. My condition was comparatively mild, and the type of cancer I had was highly curable through surgery. I had to walk through my own valley, but their path seemed so much harder and darker than mine. I had often been in these waiting rooms visiting others. I had never sat in one knowing I had that same disease in my body. Mine was isolated. Contained. Curable. It was obvious that for many of these people the cancer was running rampant through their bodies. God, why? There are so many questions I will never have the answers to on this side of eternity, but I could do what I could do and leave God to do what only He could do.
I needed to seize this opportunity to bring light, life, hope and joy into the midst of darkness and despondency. Jesus was in those waiting rooms with those people because His Spirit lives in me. I was in there, so He was in there. Would I be bold enough to reach out, touch, love and pray for these people? Could I believe God for those who no longer could believe for themselves?
Some of my most precious ministry moments happened in those waiting rooms and hospitals.
I will never be the same.
I wondered why so many people wanted a platform ministry when there was ministry waiting in hospital waiting rooms all over the world.
How many are waiting for us to go to them while we wait for them to come to us?
Waiting rooms are waiting for us.
What are you waiting for?
I had the growth in my throat removed during a 1-hour surgery in August. I was grateful that the pathology report came back with no cancerous or precancerous cells in that region. Praise God, it was all clear.
I knew someone else would be getting a very different report that very same day, and I prayed God would give them grace.
I had a thyroidectomy last Tuesday. They took half of my thyroid; I won’t need any more medication, and there is now no trace of cancer in my body. Praise Jesus. He answered our prayers. He healed my body. And for that I am so thankful. More thankful than I have words to express right now.
I also know that someone else got a very different report. God give them grace.
I am typing this on the way home from a Women of Faith event in Philadelphia. It is Saturday. I don’t know if you quite caught the wonder of that? On Tuesday I had half my thyroid removed in a 2.5-hour surgery, and today, by the grace of God, four days later I preached to multiplied thousands of women on the other side of the country.
I asked God to not let me have to miss any speaking engagements because I did not want to give the enemy any more ground. He went for my voice, and I was not giving it to him. (For all you mothers out there, don’t panic; I had permission from my doctor. I am fine. Smile.) Sometimes you have to put on your army boots and stomp on the serpent’s head. That’s what I did as hundreds came to Christ.
Nick said, “Chris, the devil should have killed you, not made you mad. Now you will make him pay!”
I did say to Jesus, “If you are taking me home soon, then I am bringing as many home with me as I can.” I wanted to be leading people to Jesus through this entire process and be a living testimony that God still heals today. I have been astounded at the grace of God over these past 10 weeks. I have seen multiplied thousands of people come to Christ and many, many, healings. He is so faithful.
There is something about walking through the valley of the shadow of death with Jesus: You come out knowing Jesus.
No one can take that from you. No one can silence you. You no longer fear.
I don’t feel like I need to come up with a great message when I speak: “For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard” (Acts 4:20).
You see and hear some things more clearly in the valley of the shadow of death.
Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and they perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marvelled. And they realised they had been with Jesus. (Acts 4:13)
People KNOW that you have been with Him, and being with Him is more important than knowing more about Him.
I would not trade this season for anything.
Why did I not get instantly healed?
I don’t know. But this I do know – Jesus has healed me.
- Sometimes God heals by a supernatural instantaneous miracle.
- Sometimes He heals by using doctors and medicine.
- Sometimes He takes us home and heals us there.
Whichever way He chooses to do it is His business.
He is God, and I am not.
He is sovereign, and He will do whatever brings Him the greatest Glory.
My job is to believe that He can and does heal today. God’s job is to do the impossible.
God responds to our faith.
Impossible is where God starts.
Miracles are what God does.
I don’t know what your challenge is today, but I do know that God knows. God sees. God cares. God can and will act on your behalf. God can make a way where there is no way.
God is good. God does good.
All things work together for good.
Don’t let anyone minimise your issue:
I had stage 1 thyroid cancer, which some people say is “no big deal” (usually people who have never had cancer). When I was lying on that operating table for two and a half hours on Tuesday and the doctor had a scalpel to my throat, it was a big deal for me. The cancer was in a very unusual place in my case, directly above my larynx. Of course the enemy wanted to silence my voice.
There was a lot at stake for me. I needed faith and friends surrounding me who were full of faith. Stage 1 or stage 4 cancer was not going to impact the ability of the surgeon to cut my throat.
Everything is relative.
I was grateful for the faith of a friend who has walked through this process with me every day for these past ten weeks. She texted me that morning, “I will be on my face praying for you while you are on your back. I will be wide awake praying while you are asleep.” I will take that kind of faith, love, grace, compassion, mercy and action over “You’ll be okay Chris; thyroid cancer is no big deal.” Don’t dismiss people or their ailments flippantly.
Everything is relative.
Your issue is important to God.
Use your faith:
- Jesus can heal cancer at any stage.
- Jesus can heal your back pain.
- Jesus can open closed wombs.
- Jesus can heal that chronic pain.
- Jesus can heal that headache.
- Jesus can mend your broken heart.
- Jesus can renew your tormented mind.
- Jesus can heal your wounded soul.
- Jesus can turn around that financial disaster.
- Jesus can reconcile that relationship.
- Jesus can help you to forgive.
- Jesus can help you move past your past.
- Jesus can bring hope in the midst of your despair.
- Jesus can move that mountain.
- Jesus can meet that need.
- Jesus can save that person.
- Jesus can bring back your children.
- Jesus can open that door.
- Jesus can bring that partner into your life.
After all, Jesus is in the miracle-working business:
“... how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.” (Acts 10:38)
... great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them all. (Matthew 12:15)
Just because man cannot do it does not mean that God cannot do it. What is impossible with man is possible with God. With God, all things are possible and nothing is impossible
I want to keep faith and hope alive in you. I want you to keep believing God for your miracle.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring for you, but neither do I know what it will bring for me.
... whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” (James 4:14-15)
You are alive for today. You have hope for today. You have faith for today.
Don’t let fear, worry, unbelief, doubt or anxiety about tomorrow rob from you what you have today.
We ALL only have today.
Cancer is not terminal.
Life is terminal.
No one gets out of life alive.
Don’t fear death.
Fear dying and never having lived.
