Showing posts with label God wins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God wins. Show all posts

Saturday, August 22, 2020

Faith over Feelings - Blog Prayer #38 -- Today.

 This one will be LONG.  Just letting you know.  You will need some coffee of caffeine of some sort.  This is #38. 


 I started this Faith over Feelings series back in June of LAST year.   Little did I think it would take me a YEAR to truly get through this series.  Writing about FAITH over FEAR.   But, God has me here.   It has been a YEAR of FAITH over FEAR.  


I blog.  I  have blogged much, most of my blogs came about because of therapy.   I found myself alone - a lot.  I had "NO one" to talk with.  So I blogged.   Now my life is so different.  And I still hear from God and want to blog and talk ...but HE has me in a different season. 


I miss that.  Blogging.  But, I know that we ebb and flow in seasons.  And, God created me to be a writer and HE will use my voice when HE wants.   However, I am, or my flesh is determined to FINISH this 40 days or blogged prayers -- sooner than later.  I  just am.  


I feel or believe another reason why it has been a SLOW season of writing is that when God moves -- HE can move FAST, but often in my life, it is a SLOW process.  I am learning to be slower and taking the time to listen rather than get that quick answer.  




Today, Holy Spirit awoke me - writing a letter to another in my head.  There I was writing again.  But that letter will wait, for HIS timing, today -- this photo was like a flashing LIGHT in my head and my heart.  Whose  children are those?


 THOSE are two kids.  Two young adults that had NO clue.  NO clue of what they would walk through...no clue of what they'd be ask to do...no clue of HOW God truly loved them.   No clue of God's power and authority.  


I marvel -- 33 years. 


 My heart breaks as a few very dear ones  around me are mourning and grieving their marriages.   Some will read this and wonder, will my marriage survive this?  Others will read this and relate -- as they are in a season now where they are asking themselves as well..."How did we do this?".  


As far as those close around me who are in a hard marriage or in the process of a divorce,  I have prayed for miracles and I have asked God to give me insight...as if "I" could help -- but, God knows best. 


 Why we survived a major earthquake - is by the GRACE and WILL of God.  I know, it was a miracle.  I KNEW HE placed a love and thought in my head that I HELD onto.  I would not give up.  But, I also believe it took faith over fear.  


Today, I am playing on REPEAT --a  Kutlass's song -- " THAT is what FAITH can do".  I have played and sang that song SO much that I can literally get MUCH work accomplished and sing at the same time.  About every hour, I break down in tears and recall a few times this song was literally my lifeline and then I go back to punching some numbers on a computer screen -- ( my weekend job ). 


 God moves through HIS Word and HIS music -- worship music.    


THOSE two kids in that photo - had NO clue of HOW much God would allow nor, what GOD would do -- "even when we fall.... we will have the strength to rise".


Today, I wanted to blog and remind the one reading this - that GOD sees you.  He is the God that sees.  El Roi -- the God who sees.  HE knows.  HE has seen your heartache and the new news of pain.  He knows what you must do today - what you must confess and He knows HOW it will go down.  And HE is faithful.  THERE is no fear that when we walk in obedience to HIM -- even when it looks like it has all failed -- HE will still win.  


"Impossible is not a word.  It is just a reason for someone not to try."


  • I want to remind you TODAY,   God takes the initiative by causing us to WANT to pray or for us to NEED to pray. 
  • I want to remind you TODAY,  the Holy Spirit takes the WORD of GOD and reveals it to you and God's will. 
  • I want to remind you TODAY, that as we pray in the Spirit - we pray in agreement with God's will.  
  • I want to remind you TODAY,   we must then ADJUST our lives to that truth. 
  • I want to remind you TODAY,   we look for and listen for confirmation for our decisions and directions from the Bible, our circumstances, and the body of Christ - other believers.  
  • I want to remind you TODAY ...THEN  YOU obey. 
  • I want to remind you TODAY,  God will work through you today to accomplish HIS purposes.  
  • And finally - I want to remind you TODAY that YOU will experience God as you pray and communicate with Him. 
  • Remember, God does not NEED you to pray -- that is our way to have communication with Him. 


Phil 2:13 

"It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

John 16.13

"He will not speak on his own: he will speak only what he hears, and he will tel you what is yet to come." 

John 10.4

"When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice." 


Today I am most thankful for the prayer warriors that spoke into me, for the body of believers that prayed for us.  I am thankful for family that accepted and loved from afar, but mostly for God's timing and I know that I obeyed.  I can't put my finger on the exact formula -- as I have watched many obey and fight for their marriage and it did not end the same way.  God knows those hearts and those circumstances and I don't credit ANYTHING that I did - it was ALL GOD. 


God did answer my prayers and HE gets the glory and THAT has increased my faith.  My faith to pray for another and encourage another to HOLD on and GIVE God the time .....the time needed to change your ( my heart) and then the other.  

Faith over fear.  


I was reminded today of a Word of Knowledge that was given to a prayer warrior on my or our behalf.  God orchestrated it.  This man - his name is Morris, saw me and saw or knew what had transpired in my marriage.  I was at his church on a Sunday night.   He also was given a picture or vision.  He inquired to the people I was attending church with and shared what God had showed him  about me.  

 He is a sailor - a ship captain.  He saw a  braided chord.  A BIG rope on a boat that had been severed.  With frayed edges and it was no longer ONE chord.  So, he asked God, "what  does this mean and what is she to do?."   God replied to him "well, you know how to repair it or she can get a new rope".  

He  shared this with me, several weeks later.  After I had decided to wait out my marriage and believe for a miracle.  I had decided not to get a new rope.  So  Morris shared with me, " Michelle,  now you know that it will take a lot of work, you have to recut each end and it will take time but if you repair it correctly and mend this chord -- it will NEVER break there again".  


In preparing for writing this, I googled a few things and watched a video of "HOW" to repair a broken rope/chord.  There is cutting and burning... interesting.  Both Bren and I were cut, we have had to cut away some of the old and broken pieces and frayed edges.  And there is burning... fire.  Interesting in that too - I think of the fire of God - right away.  Beauty from ashes.  WHAT comes after a burning of woods or a place -- new growth.  ???  !!!   Anyhow, today that end part of the Word of Knowledge -- "it will NEVER break there again- if it was mended correctly."  


BAM - Truth.  WOW.  


THOSE kids in that photo had NO clue -- BUT God still won.  GOD knew.  

With that -- may this just bless you and remind you that  -- nothing is impossible with God.  


Lord, thank you for this inspired word and insight.  Lord, you know I must give credit for some of this to my present BIBLE study - Experiencing God - unit 5 -- has WRECKED me in a good way.  Lord, for the one or many reading this today that took the time, I pray it would inspire them to believe and get closer to YOU.  Lord for the marriages that are hurting right now  - especially those close to me.  Lord, for the marriage that is dissolving right now, Lord - lead and guide.  Lord, for our Nation and all of this trouble - the birth pains of the end.  As a mother in labor says.. and feels..."it is getting closer"... I believe YOUR return is getting closer.  May we be the witness of your LOVE and MERCY to those fearful around us... especially me Lord, may I be an instrument of YOUR peace - thank you for the 33 years of marriage and for my man.  I DO love him and trust him more than I could of ever  of imagined when we walked into that church back in 1987 -- with that BIG hair and Jessica McClintock dress and that BLACK tux... OH he is still as cute!   Lord, bless us and may our story give another the hope to fight it out -- as on the other side of that mended chord -- it is good.  REAL good.  IJN  Amen.  

Friday, June 24, 2016

One notch above cautious --

 When life is going along, someone may ask, "how are you?" and you reply -- "fine, just fine!".
When a trial comes it either stops you in your tracks or it totally breaks you and when asked, "how are you?" you may just reply --  "fine, just fine!".  But the tone and texture of your reply may speak more than your words.

I wrote this BLOG back in August of 2011.
Tonight ...I know there is someone that is in the middle of a trial.  She has seen some breakthroughs and the HOPE she has in a victory within her family in not in her sight as of yet -- but she has faith!
In that time period of my life, when one asked me "how are you?", I would reply, "one notch above cautious!".

So, this is an OLD blog from 2011 -- but I believe someone needs to be reminded as they continue to pray to believe that this season will pass and they too will be one notch above cautious!

**************************************************************************


It is funny -- no it is God's timing,  that today I just sort of 'went' one notch about cautious.
What does that mean? Well, for so long there has been a trial, a problem, an event, or just a big old plain elephant in the room. So many things, events, people, and just STUFF involved. One goes through SO many emotions that you almost become RAW at one point and then HARD and vow NEVER to be hurt like that again!
And then you really RE-evaluate and think -WHAT DO I want?
What I wanted?? -- more of God.
I wanted to be in the CENTER of HIS will and I wanted to hear those prophetic words, "well, done my good and faithful servant Michelle".


So choices had to be made.

James 1.12 says: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Blessed is the woman, hurt, that perseveres under trial, because when she has withstood the test, she will receive the crown of life that GOD has promised to those who LOVE HIM.

Blessed is Michelle . . it is hard to sometimes really believe that GOD loves me as much as HE loves Jesus. It is hard to wrap my mind around it.


And so, I have been cautious with my heart. I am cautious, I have good reason. But, when I really reflect and think -- I broke God's heart too. I loved HIM but I really did not WANT HIM . .nor did I really understand HOW to love HIM the way I was suppose to, nor did I understand HIS true grace and mercy. 

 But now . . .

I believe I can say that I have experienced HIS grace and mercy and so therefore, I must give it. Period.

To give grace and mercy .. sometimes it takes extreme patience. Patience is to have the ability to endure, but it does stop there. Patience must also have the capacity to be wronged and not retaliate. In other words, patience is love persevering and love waiting. We are not only to be patient in the way we face difficult situations but in our relatioinships as well. Easy to say, HARD to LIVE.

Job Stood firm.

I remember the day I had a revelation -- God loves me like HE did JOB. God has allowed this trial in my life .. this journey .. this hurt . .because HE wants to see if MICHELLE will stand firm. I chose that. I have. I tired. I failed but I tried again. I choose this each day I wake up.

And with that, I have become cautious. People say and act a certain way . . .but sticking around long enough and listening and watching sometimes shows one's true heart. That is why, I would say . .I am one notch . above cautious.

God's restoration power is at work, God's healing is at work, but it is not complete as of yet. The smile on my face, praises GOD for the glorious miracles I see and hear and witness, but I realize the ENEMY is still fighting mad and won't stop! Together, and I am claiming this ..together, my husband and I can defeat the Enemy's schemes for our family and friends and I am so anxious to watch how God brings this about. I am believing that we, both, together can make a difference for HIS Kingdom and I want that. And I believe that God will reveal even more to my husband and do a mighty miracle with everything we have encountered and endured.

Every trial must come through HIS love but every trial has a purpose. Every pain, every ordeal contains a seed of victory and there is a promise for every problem you and I will ever face. (I am stealing this from Mary Southerland)

Scipture says: " The Lord is my strength, my shield from every danger, I trust in HIM with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy." Psm. 28.7



Patience pays off in many ways, but one of the greatest rewards of patience is joy, a deeply - rooted confidence that God is in control.


I can say, this deeply rooted confidence. . that God is in CONTROL . .won't be shaken from me - ever . . .HE will do what HE says HE will do.



Heavenly Father, thank you for the revelation of the Encounter . for both me and for my husband. Thank you for that day, that particular day when the gifts you bestowed on others spoke directly to him. Lord, thank you for selling the house ( I know you will do that.) and allowing us to move forward in a new direction with a new purpose and a new calling for you. Lord, thank you for the little mini-tidbits of miracles and the hurts that have been healed with small gestures and comments. Lord, I would never say it was because of 'me' but it is because of YOU that I have the ability to give grace and mercy because I sit here humbled that you waited this long for me. I the love for the manual is here, the mind set is here, you the master are at the top, and the ministry will come. I pray for my husband, Lord, do not allow the Enemy to steal what YOU have revealed to him and Lord, continue to restore, continue to bless, and continue to show me the wonderous mysteries of YOUR love through him. Lord, I thank you for the patience you gave me, for the healing you provided, I want to be way about one notch than cautious . .but you know my private prayers and you know how fear can still creep in . .. . but I believe, I know . .YOU are GOD and you want this more than we do. Amen. I love you Lord. - Your grateful beautiful daughter - Michelle

Friday, June 17, 2016

I want to encourage her --

So, the enemy is out to steal, kill, and destroy.

  From NIV  10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.


 -  From The Message Bible  10 Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. “I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

So -- tonight beloved --- I wanted to remind you -- The enemy of your soul is out to destroy you.
How will he do it ??  Through your thoughts mostly -- but he will use your husband - your children - your circumstances - your finances - your weeknesses -- whatever he can.  Period.

Have you underestimated him?   

I had.  I did for MANY years.


 This blog is going to be a bit longer.  And for me - giving you THAT warning ahead of time -- you may need 2 cups of coffee and set your alarm to read  it all in the am -- but I pray you will READ this unto its end.  

As I want to encourage someone this eve -- especially this one, that  has reached out and grabbed the hem of Jesus' cloak in the past few days and has been hanging on .....   I must write !  


The Orlando shootings have been pretty BIG in the news.  Sad.  Prayers.
All the talk about same sex bathrooms.... Prayers.
Our political campaigns now -- Sad. Prayers.
I believe Satan can use anything -- to get you distracted and begin the assault on your thoughts.

I mean -- he convinced EVE, who was living in the Garden, walking and talking with God on a daily basis;  he convinced her that God was withholding something from her and Adam.  Satan convinced Eve ( and Adam was  RIGHT there!) that God was a taker and would not allow her to be wise and such so she should NOT eat from that Tree of Knowledge.  But she did.  They did.  They were deceived.

Has the enemy deceived you into thinking the character of God is manipulative?  

A few mornings ago,  my husband read me a news story of a Christian Artist  named Trey  had come out to his wife and family.  He believes he is gay.  In the letter he wrote to his fans he shared what was going on with him presently.  It went viral.  Of course with the Orlando shootings, the news media picked it up.   Two kids...   wife....  and the marriage was being dissolved.  They had been married 7 and 1/2 years.  So now what?  Another family is destroyed. 

My heart sank.


My heart sank and then God reminded of the scripture that was so piercing last night as I read it several times  from  the book Romans.

 Romans 1: 19-32

This is from the Message Bible.  


Ignoring God Leads to a Downward Spiral

18-23 But God’s angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. 


 Lord, what shroud am I trying to put over the truth?   


But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can’t see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. 


 Taking a LONG and thoughtful look at what is transpiring around me --
When I gave birth to my child -- what I saw was goodness, favor, and beauty -- NO one can deny God.   Have you ever had that type of moment when you know God is indeed present?  
When astronauts return from being in outer space -- 99% of them come back and claim the beauty and majesty that HAD to be of God!   It's like the science of space declares the wonders of our God! 

Taking a LONG and thoughtful look -- one can't deny there was a Creator!  

Taking a LONG and thoughtful look --what has been submitted to God? 

So nobody has a good excuse. 


What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn’t treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.


They traded the glory of God who holds the world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at a roadside stand -- 
This totally struck me.  

REFUSING to worship ....we worship with our lives and how we live daily.  I know as I was raising my children and they refused to act as I had expected or if they were disobedient -- I disciplined.  

I wanted children that were citizens of character.  And their behavior was a reflection on me as a child.  As an adult -- my children make choices of their own.  They have a choice to always weigh everything they think and do against the standard we use -- His Word.  

So, with God as my perfect parent --- if I disciplined my young when when needed ....how can I think that My Father in heaven won't discipline me as well?  

For that one who is trying to figure out WHY that loved one continues to stay in sin...

How a person can just lie or -- 
Bargain with God into justifying what they think is 'better'.  
They are convinced that "THEY" know better.    They are deceived. 

My heart sank.  
I have seen this in people. 
I have cried with people when  their other half  thinks like this or has begun to believe the lie!  

However, I also know ...hurting people hurt people -- thus, the enemy will USE anything to steal, kill, and destroy!  


24-25 So God said, in effect, “If that’s what you want, that’s what you get.” It wasn’t long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. 

 To the beloved I am trying to encourage this evening -- that is where he is right now .....
He has wanted something that is not of God --
So, think about what this verse says -- it may appear that he is "OK", but in reality we know and can trust from God's Word ....sin is only pleasurable for  a season!  



And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh, yes!


Sad.  This makes my heart sick.  
Idols.  I think this hurts more, cause I know exactly how it feels to be that prodigal! 

26-27 Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn’t know how to be human either—women didn’t know how to be women, men didn’t know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.



28-32 Since they didn’t bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. 

There -- that verse implies that God just allowed them to be -- Tough Love.  I know there were lessons that I had to allow my kids to just learn on their own.  It is hard to watch that, but we must take out hands off of those loved ones and give them to God!  


 I think it is time that as a believer, we must show God's love and be Jesus to a hurting world, but we must know what God's Word says and not sugar coat sin.  We must extend grace but also continue to show the lost His Truth!  


I agree with Lisa Bevere and I will quote her, "we are called to be bedside with the world and be comforting, not get in bed with the world.  We are called to clothe the naked, not get naked with the world, and we are called to hunger and thirst for His Word, not hunger and thirst for the World".



And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable windbags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. 


 They ditch their parents when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. 


And it’s not as if they don’t know better. They know perfectly well they’re spitting in God’s face. And they don’t care—worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!

Hand out prizes?   Funny - what is the reward for being someone that gives his life as he takes others while with ISIS ?  


God's word is something you either believe or you don't.  
I know it is a living testimony of God. 
I know its truth won't return void.  
However, if you don't know what is in that word -- you will fall for whatever!!  

The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  

The enemy will seek to dim your whole desire for prayer -- 
The enemy will downplay the potency of your most strategic weapon -- prayer!  
See Eph 6: 10-20   By putting on the WHOLE armor of God, you can withstand the enemy!

The enemy will seek to destroy your focus.  
The enemy will have you focus on the WRONG culprit.  
Maybe You do need to repent as well as that wayward husband.  
However, he can also disguise himself and manipulate your perspective.

The enemy will use anyone around you, even loved ones that claim they believe God is a miracle working God, to help you think that God has forgotten you.  Many times, we as believers just want the pain to end - so we settle.  Don't!  

The enemy will seek to destroy your identity. He magnifies your insecurities and leading you to doubt what God says about you and to disregard what He's given you.  See Eph 1: 17-19

I can't help but think of that Christian Singer/Artist and his family.  Talk about stealing his identity!??   I believe when you have the belief  that men can be women and women can be men, you are stating that gender can be altered.  
We were created in HIS imagine.  

An attack on gender is an attack on God's image.  God's Word says do not take his name in vain -- I don't want to stand before him in heaven and be one of those that mocked his image as well.  
But this goes for pride and unforgiveness as well.  
There will be many "good" people that may be totally caught  unaware and yet, I don't buy that either as I believe in God's Word that states " that not one will perish"....I believe God will give everyone the opportunity to choose Him before their death and that every ear will of heard that Jesus Christ is Lord.    So....I just believe there will be NO excuse as His Word says in verse  20. 

The enemy will attack your family -- he wants to disintegrate your family.  I am thinking of those two children who will now be co-parented because now the wife has to deal with the fact that she was rejected by her husband. 
That was NOT God's plan nor God's will.   See Gen 3: 1-7
What God has placed together - let no man separate! 

The enemy will attack your confidence as he constantly reminds you of your past and bad choices, hoping to convince you that you are under God's judgement rather than under the blood of Jesus.  Rev.  12:10   It is important to say, I am a sinner saved by grace -- but Jesus then said, "go and sin no more".....  THAT is where I must check myself!   Reveal to me Lord, any motive or thought that is NOT of YOU! 

The enemy will attack and put strategies against your calling and your purity.  He tries to attempt you toward certain sins, convincing you that you can tolerate them without risk!   The enemy knows this will create a wedge and further the distance between you and God!  

The enemy will attack your rest and contentment.  There will be constant pressure to push you beyond the limits.  

The enemy will take every opportunity to keep old wounds fresh in your heart and mind, knowing that anger and hurt and bitterness and unforgiveness will continue to roll damage forward.  See Heb 12:15 


And the enemy will attack your relationships and create disruption and disunity within your circle of friends and within the shared community of the body of Christ.  1 Tim 2.8 




SO......

So, THIS was to encourage?  
YES.  

To that sweet beloved one this evening -- the one brokenhearted or upset cause you have grabbed the hem of Jesus' garment and HE turned around and said, "who touched me?"  

And what did Jesus do?? -- HE healed her.  
He is holding you -- cause no matter what the enemy is trying to do -- the 2nd part of John 10.10 is that Jesus has come so that YOU may have life and live it more abundantly.   God won.  

So, don't let go of that garment.    Believe that Jesus is RIGHT there, looking into your eyes and reminding you -- You are healed.  Walk by faith and not sight.  

So, perhaps you can't figure out WHY this is happening right now -- look over that list of the enemy's strategies that I posted -- they are from my bible study, The Armor of God and dig into God's Word and write out some scriptural prayers to renounce the enemy.  Take an active stand in this fight!  Go to war!  

I know when you understand WHAT you are up against -- it is easier to battle and easier to fight.  
I know that when darkness is exposed to the LIGHT -- LIGHT wins.  

I know that in my own life, I will say --- "it is what it is".....but when whatever sin is exposed and you can begin to pray for the one who has hurt you ......  You will change.  God's Word will wash you and  small victories will come.  

And when you forgive and allow the Lord to fight this battle for you.... you can concentrate on just being with God in the space between hopelessness and victory!!   


I know that it may seem hopeless ....but even as I read and look over the strategies of the enemy -- I can  feel sorry for the one that the enemy has WRAPPED up so tightly right now -- but I have HOPE, cause I believe that we can intercede and bring the enemy to his end!  

I do believe and have HOPE to see and know that God CAN,  resurrect your marriage,  resurrect that prodigal child, or even resurrect that addicted loved one -- 

So, to the dear and beloved one that was drawn to this blog tonight -- cause you wanted to be encouraged -- I pray you are.  

You have NOT been duped -- however, now that you know and can see that you are not fighting flesh and blood but fighting evil powers and rulers and so forth -- maybe you will begin to believe that God has created you for such a time as this - to FIGHT!  

I believe YOU were created to live right here and now in this moment.  The enemy knows and continues to attack so hard -- maybe not for WHAT you can do right now -- but for WHAT your grandchildren will do in the future.......   



So, what are you going to do -- ?? 

You will face God one day and account for WHAT you did here on this earth.  
You will be judged - but by God.  Jesus will be your lawyer!!  

I am speaking to a believer....what has God asked you to do?   
Have you been obedient?  
Have you heard from God lately?  
Maybe HE has been quiet because the last thing HE told you to do - you have not done!!
Why would God speak again if the last time He gave you a direct command...you thought..."nope, not going to do that!"  

Or maybe the enemy has pulled you backwards again so you feel this shame.  
You have /had experienced freedom and then you choose to spit in God's face and go and get back in bed with the world....  

THAT my sweet one -- is between YOU and God.  
But I know that if you call out to HIM - HE is right there and praise God we can start over - NOW.  

But let's start over now and STAY in a cycle of victory and not allow the enemy to USE his schemes to pull us backwards.  

So,  will you fight?   Will you be encouraged?  

FIGHT?  

I pray you will!   

God still does miracles.   

And, I don't normally place a challenge at the end of my blogs -- but if God is speaking to you -- go to your journal or grab a piece of paper and write out a letter to God.  State WHERE the enemy has attacked and then write out a simple prayer..."enough is enough and I am calling you out Satan and taking back ___________"  and let's watch together how stuff begins to change!   

I pray right now -- Lord -- ONLY YOU can connect this blog to one as  the encouragement it was meant to be.  I know it was VERY LONG.  If the ladies reading this could see my keyboard they would see the imprints of my fingerprints as each word was tapped out and practically beaten as I typed.  Lord,  God.... this has to be YOU.  Let these words remind others to check themselves as well...have I spit on you God?   Lord, examine my heart and search me O Lord -- show me exactly where I must repent and God I pray...  that You would confirm this to me --You know what I need confirmed as I am human and I trust You Lord.  

Again Lord for that one .... in reality as I type I can think of four right now that I pray are encouraged.....IN Jesus name, amen.  

Your humbled and simple sheep that loves You Lord for who You are and not what You have done. 
Amen. 
- michelle 

 

  

Sunday, June 5, 2016

HP is now 21... GOD did this!

 The 'man-child' is turning 21 tomorrow.  June 6th, 2016.  It seems hard to believe, that I have TWO grown children .... let me rephrase that, it seems unreal that I have TWO adult children now.

We grow don't we?   WE get older.  So our children do as well.  However, they are always our babies.  Right?

Sometimes when I read a post or a blog and this mother is distraught about  her baby is leaving the nest -- as they grow up....I will sort of go, "really?" 

 I mean, you have to understand -- I NEVER got the stay at home MOM gene.   I never felt that my children were my LIFE.   There were many times when I placed them first before my husband and before God....but, I did not live my life through theirs.   Now -- please don't take that wrong.

 My children have been one of the greatest blessings I have experienced but I did not plan out their lives....it just happened.   We knew what we wanted to do with our kids...make memories and point them to Christ, but in the process we just lived.    Maybe what I am trying to express  here is that --- the kids happened.  As THAT is what we're suppose to do- right?     Now, back to that MOM gene.   I knew that I needed to be back  at work when my first child was born.  Back in 1991 -- many did not understand or comprehend post-par tum depression.  I had it. 
 I did not realize it.  I just cried for 5 weeks after her birth.  At my 5 week check -up, the doctor told Brendan that if I did not snap out of it -- to bring me back in a week and he would prescribe some medicine.   I guess I must of snapped out of it.     Six months later, Brooke Shields was on the Today Show or maybe it was Regis and Kathie Lee and she spoke about Post- Par tum depression -- BINGO...THAT is what I had!

In fact, the first day that Taylor was at the sitter and I was back at school, I forgot she was there and had to be reminded to go and pick her up.  Back then...I would just get consumed with WORK and what I was suppose to be doing.   Later -- that drive to just work and do -- would have to be dealt with!   

   Funny -- how TV answered  my questions about post-par tum but also in WHAT people were to do!  
I was raised on TV.  70's TV.  The Love Boat, The Osmonds...and Brady Bunch.  That was my world.  It shaped my thoughts and views, as well as my parents and family ....but one thing I knew I wanted -- was children.   I watched Eight is Enough and had a house full in my life, but that was NOT for me!
I wanted kids.  But only a few.  You see... I had helped to babysit and hold a few of my siblings at home and I was ready for just one or maybe two.   

So, the line up was;  go to school, college, get married and then kids.  THAT was the line up -- that is what I grew up watching on TV and what was taught.

When Taylor came out of church that fateful morning and told her Grandmother and I  that  in Sunday School, they asked her what she wanted to pray for and she clearly stated, " I prayed for a baby brother"....... I knew a boy was on his way. 


 He arrived in June.  He was to have a May birthday -- but I have already shared that story.  His initials were H.E.L.P.  Hunter Edwin Lowell Pritchard.  He was the first grandson born on the maternal side...and the ONLY grandson on the paternal side.  If you know my mother-n-law, you know HP is the ONLY Grandson on that side!!  She shares that ALL the time!

He was certainly a blessing and started this world in the NICU but quickly made his own mark.  I am pretty sure I had post-par tum again, but spent too much time with prayerful tears as he started out as the 'whimpy white boy' in the NICU in WPB.    The nurses named him that -- when he arrived he was 8 pounds 6 oz but left to come home with us at 5 pounds 8 oz!!  I had to get some preemie outfits for those first weeks.
  Because of his rocky start, I HELD him all summer and created a little one that demanded a bit more attention.  And from that point on -- you would hear me say, "if he would of been first, I would of had only ONE child!".  However, in the past 20 some years....he has certainly made both his dad and I very proud.  And his Florida Grandparents are not the only ones that are proud -- my own parents are proud too!  

So with that...here are 21 insights into this man of mine that I want to share.  As this is his birthday card....his dad and I are going to meet him for supper tomorrow and celebrate in the best way possible -- by filling out tummies...but I had to share a little bit about this guy  -- for all to read!  

 1.  He had a rocky start -- RDS, or respiratory distress syndrome or basically he was a BLUE baby.   So, he had lots of colds and upper respiratory infections as a young one - but Dr. Brown assured me that when he would walk....that would clear itself up.  And it did.   And he was an  athlete, even as little as 20 months old when I discovered he had climbed to the top bunk one afternoon in his room!   How did he do that? 

2.  Our favorite restaurants after church, while he was  a young toddler were ones that were kid friendly and had to serve the food within a good 10 minutes.  That was about HOW much time he could sit still.  I have often prayed since then, that he develops patience! 

3.  His love for video games began just before the age of 4.  We live in Florida.  Brendan and I love to drive and take trips -- Orlando on a weekend or running to the coast to just get out of town was something that happened often.  Taylor had been such a GOOD car rider, we thought the same of kid #2.  Nope...   As he sat in his car seat behind Brendan's driver's seat, we could tell exactly HOW he felt about traveling.  We lived on 138th Street when the kids were little.  We would head east out our driveway and get to  441.  If we turned left, HP would begin to KICK Brendan's seat.  If we turned right, he would be fine.  You see, he knew if we turned LEFT, the ride was going to be long.  Needless to say, his little legs were slapped here and there so he would STOP kicking Brendan's seat and we had to get some hand held video games to occupy his time.

 4.  Taylor began Soccer at age 6.  He began soccer at Age  4.  And the love affair with a  soccer ball began.  Little did we know at that time, his skills in soccer would land him a Division 1 soccer scholarship and many many hours of travel and memories.   Those trips, those car rides to South Caroline, Jacksonville, and North Carolina and Georgia are all trips that we still treasure today! 

 5.  He wore braces for almost 4 years...it seemed like a lifetime.  He got them in 5th grade.  Taylor got hers after him and hers were off before his. However, his smile is certainly a memorable one.

6.  He has an incredible soft spot for little kids.  He would prefer NOT  to HOLD little babies but he will gravitate towards the little cousins anytime we get close to them.  I will never forget the memory of Hunter sitting with Devon, Jarod, Carson and Dayton at Blake's Celebration Service. As  the little ones began to cry, he just held them, and helped  them through the tears. Jordan was there too -- what a beautiful site.  They all loved their Blaker tremendously. 

7.  He loves to listen to stories of 'old' stuff.   He loves being with his Wisconsin family and my brothers especially.  When he was 6, with tears in his eyes, he asked why we moved so far away from family --- and I tried to explain WHY...but I believe the 1400 miles gap has produced a bond that is indeed strong and special with my brothers and his aunts and his cousins !! 

8.  He loves to play games -- card games, TV games, and a long car ride will have a session of Family Feud!   He loves  to teach his dad new games.  

9.  He was a part of the Swim Team for 2 years.  He did well!   I know it helped his upper body strength as he could land a soccer goal by throwing it in...if they would of let him!  

10.  His first girlfriend was a girl named Taylor. She was a sweetie.   She plays soccer.  We love her still.

11.  I remember his first day of middle school and how this girl's name was all of a sudden all over his books!!   What had transpired?  My elementary kid was now in the big school where I could not keep an eye on him.   The name was  Ashton.    She later became a sweet friend.  We love her still!

Awaiting Surgery. 
12.  I remember accidentally leaving him in the parking lot of U-SAVE one morning.  It was an ACCIDENT!!   But a story I am sure he tells often!   I won't ever live it down.   I just thank God that I did not run over him!  ( Like another did!)   Let's not forget that Brendan had him at 18 months old,  and he fell off the golf cart!!   THAT is a story!  And there was another incident where he was run over -- oh my!   A surgery for his nose many years later would prove REDEMPTION for Bren -- the golf tee in the nose did not cause his breathing problems!  HP was born that way.  ( Maybe I should of named him something other than H. E. L. P.!?)


13.  He earned the title, "12 and  Under  NATIONAL Champs!"  Yes...a National Champion!!   ( Playing soccer)    He and his Team Boca Team also went to Nationals in 2013 and 2014..... He was even selected to be a part of the ODP team, which is the Olympic Development Program!   Soccer has certainly given him many travel opportunities and experiences that have indeed shaped him. 

14.  Car rides -- funny how as a little one he hated car rides and beginning when he was about 10-11, he began the trek of riding in that car to practice for soccer.  For almost  6 years, Brendan and HP would travel to Miami or Boca for soccer practice - 2-3 nites a week.  ( I know, my car has over 200K miles from soccer on it!)   I would send them off at 4:30 and see them at 10:30.  Late night suppers of leftovers  or chicken and rice were favorites!     All that soccer practice paid off - it challenged HP but also developed a work ethic.  In all of that -- Hunter kept his grades up!   Currently in college he is in an Honor's Program for Accounting! 

 15.  He is quite the dancer.  I am told.  ( SWEET, He takes after his mother!) He loves to sing - his choice of music is a little different than mine, but he sings praise and worship songs too -- which melts my heart!   I have heard him - ON occasion which blesses me so. I now he can sing every son on the 2010 Sidewalk Prophet's CD as I made him listen to it daily as we drove to school each day back in 2010!

16.  He loves to watch movies.   I know -- he tells us often of the next movie we need to see!   His last suggestion was The Intern.  He was right! 

17.  He has been known to cry at movies -- he is very sensitive!  I will never forget the day we watched , "Bridge to Terabethia" together.  And we cried!  That move wrecked me.   He also knows I will never watch "Marley and Me" ever again!    But, mostly -- he knows what God has done for him ...which makes me cry tears of joy as a MOM!   I pray he continues to grow in that love for God and His Word!  When HP was a sophomore and a junior -- he and I spent a lot of time together.  He was my protector and my man....I can still see him locking and checking all the doors in our home.  Those years were awkward in our lives, and at times, I knew he was a bit frustrated with me and my choices...but, as his mom, I was so thankful and grateful that even though he may not of agreed with me then...he trusted me to trust God.  I know now...he knows now -- the WHY.  Those awkward years, those hard years as he, his sister, and I all grew up and grew  closer to God and each other - will never be forgotten and were some of the best moments in our walk with Christ!  

18.  He prefers to hang with his close knit group of friends and he is a loyal friend too.  I have seen this -- displayed when he comes home for a visit and makes a point to visit his childhood buddies and such.    I have also seen and heard this when we get the chance to hang with him and his friends.  God has blessed him with a circle of friends through his soccer team -- that will remain.  He treats his friends with honestly and kindness -- His dad taught him this.   He is a giving young man!   I give all that credit to God and Brendan - I know I played a part in that, but  there is a bond between a father and son that is unique.  I see it perfectly between mother and daughter - between Taylor and myself.   From when Hunter could speak, Brendan began to teach him to be a person with manners and character.   I will never forget the endless  video games where Bren would play with Hunter and I would BEG Brendan to let Hunter win .......but Bren would remind me, that Hunter had to learn to lose - so he could learn to win with grace.   There were several moments of tense nights where a little one went to bed upset -- but eventually he would come out and shake Brendan's hand and say, "good game Dad".   Those lessons taught as a child would be tested as a teen.  God won.    I see the fruit of that now. 

19.  I can also tell, that he is a good person.  A good good friend and a good employee.     It is such a blessing now to hear him chat with his dad and they talk about plans, the future, and HP seeks his dad's advice.  It makes my heart happy -- as there was a time when the enemy tried to destroy that relationship ...but God won!  To see a father -son relationship survive the teen years and hardship and now become friends -- it is indeed a blessing to me, a miracle, and a JOY to watch and listen too!  It truly is a miracle that I don't take for granted.  As  a teen and as an adult, I would hear often, "do as I say -- don't do as I do".  THIS premise or this expression of philosophy could easily destroy a person!  I thank God that the seeds planted in both my husband and our children were strong seeds.  They may of fell on rocky soil at first....but we did some weeding and survived.  THAT was purely because of the GRACE of God!  

20.  He is cute!  I mean -- I know I am bias -- but he is one handsome young man!   

21.  He is mine - he is my number one son.  

I started this blog sort of trying to express that ....."this just happened".  I mean....  Bren and I wanted a baby and had Taylor.  We wanted a 2nd child and produced him.  But it happened cause THAT is just what was expected of us.  Right?     Life happens.     Wrong.   I have learned in  my latter  years -- that nothing  just happens.   Everything is watched over by our Father. Now I know our choices play into this -- but, I still believe HE is watching it all and allowing and 'not' allowing too! 

Let me explain -- because of TV....people have expectations and believe this or that.   I did grow up in the era of TV.  It has influenced me.  It babysat me for years.  It also allowed me to see the world.   It may of been a sheltered world, but it was my world.   But somehow...it also taught me about Jesus.  It did.  I would watch Oral Roberts on TV and  Rex Hubbard and I would see people sing about Jesus and preach.   I went to Catholic School too and had a great education and watched the people around me - I knew Jesus and what He did for us.  I could see Jesus in the community I lived in!

So, I had these 'expectations' for my children -- based on what I saw when I grew up.

I have two marvelous human beings as my children.   And now, I have another -- my son - n - love too. And often, I can't take the credit - it was ALL God.  I know Bren and I made good choices most of the time -- but God granted us mercy!

However, I don't believe it just happened.   I believe the prayers of our parents and grandparents have touched us and our children.

  These kids have been influenced by God --  I am claiming that.

Sure, TV and the internet have certainly helped raise my children -- but I pray and believe that God's Word was indeed at  the CORE of what they were taught.  I also believe and pray it is WHAT they saw displayed in our lives.   Maybe not consistently -- but perhaps a good amount of the time! 

 Bren and I messed it up along the way -- but.... I believe when the enemy wanted to destroy this family, destroy us,   we stuck it out.   What Satan intended to harm, God used for good.  HIS good.

Stuck it out - cause THAT is just what you did.
Stuck it out - cause we did not want to lose.
Stuck it out -- because of FAITH....that grew - it had to!  

 And now both Bren and I pray that ...our children will indeed continue to grow in their love for Christ and His Word and we pray that they both will teach this and foster this love of Christ into our grandchildren.  


So even though it seemed to me that having children and raising them 'just happened'...now, I realize HOW God was an integral part of ALL of it.     God did this.  

Lord, protect my man -- as he continues to finish his bachelor's degree and begin his Internship as an Audit Accountant -- bless him Lord, watch over him as he travels and learns his profession.  Lord, for that future wife of his - as we have been praying for her since his birth -- may she continue to grow in You as well.  Lord, for his friends...his friendships and his love for You, may that increase.  Grant him favor Lord, he is Yours.  IN Jesus Name, Amen.


Happy birthday, "tur tur man".

Love, Mumzie! 

Friday, April 24, 2015

being HELD.....

  
Being  ...held......


Natalie Grant wrote this song called "Held" after a friend of hers lost a baby.  IT has circled the Christian Radio charts and I believe I have purchased her CD 2-3 times and given it to people when they have experienced the death of a child....it is comforting to know that God does HOLD us...we are being HELD.


 I did a little research on the word held..or hold.... The Dictionary says,  1.  to have or keep in the hand, keep fast, grasp.  2.  to set aside, to reserve or retain -- like to hold a reservation.  3.  to bear, sustain, or support as with hands or arms or by any other means.  4.  to keep them in a specified state, 'the preacher held them spellbound'. and 5.  to detain, the police held him at the station for questions. 

Held.....then I looked up some more info...The noun held means an act of holding...as a verb, it means to remain in or continue being held.....Did you know there is also definitions for ...
hold back....
hold down....
hold forth....
hold in.....
hold off....
get ahold of .....
hold one's own.....


Then 2 verses were found:  
   2 Thessalonians 2.15    So then brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

   1 Titus 1.9
  He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

Then I found this:   the word HOLD with a capital "h" is found in 11 verses in our bible, 9 chapters, and 9 books.....that version is more of the noun hold....

I wanted to write down each verse, I will site a few of my favorite:

Judges 18.19     Nehemiah  8.11     Job   13.13
Psalms 17.5   Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not.
Psm  109. 1    Amos  6.10    Zephaniah 1.7
Mark 1.25     Luke 4.35       2Tim 1.13
Psalm 119.117   Hold thou  me up, and I will be safe; and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually.

I stopped and pondered why those two verses really STUCK in me....I remember many times in my life when I would beg God to hold up my goings in thy path....and just HOLD me....up....

And in Psm. 119....hold thou me up...JUST HOLD ME UP...how many  times I begged and pleaded that on my behalf. 

How about you...are you begging God to hold you up?

 IF you are, let us stop right now:
Lord, for my sweet sister or for whomever is reading this.....they or she or he needs you ...hold them...hold them up.  Amen. 


Then I came across this.  The word HOLD with a capital H is there 11 times and the word hold with a lower case 'h' ......is in 167 verses...167 verses....49 chapters....35 books...I was astonded.

That is the verb hold !   an action!   God is holding us! 

I did not write down each verse but a few that spoke volumes to me.

One of my life verses:  Exodus 14.14    The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.
Psalm 139.10    Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
Proverbs 3.18  She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her and happy is every one that retaineth her.
Proverbs 4.13  Take fast hold of instruction, let her not go, keep her, for she is thy life.
Isaiah 41.13  For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee.

That last verse...spoke life into me many times over the past six-seven  years.   I don't wish to bring up the past, but I have to share this one story...of HOW this verse spoke life back into me.

   My husband and I were separated.  Our son was headed to Louisiana for a soccer tournament and my husband was very kind and did not expect to travel with us, as he knew our time together was hard, very hard but after prayer, I knew,  he deserved to be able to attend and enjoy the soccer.  It had been a planned trip and Taylor was traveling with us.  Arrangements were made and our time together was difficult but "ok."

  WE spent a week together as a family and enjoy Hunter' team and their wins and their heartbreak loss on the last day.  The in between times were VERY hard, as sometimes I could only smile for so long and pretend for so long that all was well.  Each evening we would pick a restaurant and sit as a family  and each of us did a good job with keeping conversations 'right'.  Anyway, like I said, at times, it would just get too hard to bear and I would excuse myself and head to the ladies room.  At which I would get sick, either lose my lunch or supper or just spit up dry heaves and then look at myself in the mirror and hold my hand up in front of it and recite this verse.

Sometimes I would cry it out, sometimes I had to be very discrete, but I had to remind myself over and over that HE was holding my hand.  HE was going to get me through this and HE would make all things new.  HE did.   The Holy Spirit would take over.  I know this...NOW,  but then, I was literally grabbing onto the promises of God every 2-3 minutes.

 I would be able to wipe my tears, recompose myself and head back to the supper or dinner table and smile and just be thankful for the four of us - enjoying time together.   I was SUCH a good actress.  I had to be.

 It was a difficult week.  The kids and I shared a King sized bed and my husband  slept on the floor.  Many nights were spent in prayer as I could not sleep between two kids that literally tossed and turned as they slept and I would hold my arm up in front of my eyes and focus on my hand and recite that verse...and imagine that God was RIGHT there...holding me and being my RIGHT hand......it was a verse I came to paraphrase and repeat often.

Now, bear in mind...that may leave a sad taste in your mind about my husband ..but don't let it.  I want to tell you that for the past 2-3 years, I fall asleep each night in his arms...he holds me very tight and waits for me to wiggle out of his grip.  When I awake in the am, he must awake too as he will turn over and quickly grab me and hold me tight.

When he first began to do this, I would just lay there and think...."how long will this last?".  Then it continued and after a few months of expecting it to quit....I awoke one morning and I could hear the Holy Spirit remind me -- "THAT is how God has held you - TIGHT and now I am using your husband to remind you - God is still here."  

This am, that happened again.  And God reminded  me...'see....I continue to hold you...through him'....Brendan can be the person on earth that can show you physical love and hold you and remind you that YOU are deeply loved by the Father. 


I believe that.  That brought  even more healing to me today.  That made me smile....


Revelation 20.2
And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years.

Yep...God wins.  Period. 

Lord, I thank you so much, for holding me.
PS...don't let him stop....I still need it - daily...even though I know YOU can hold me without being here...and I know I am so loved without him holding me...I am just saying...it feels so so so good. 

Amen. 

I love  him Lord, but I know that I know, I love you more...there is a proper order now - amen.  And Lord, I thank you for our past -- as it has formed our destiny.  Amen.

- michelle