A message of HOPE -- when you believe you just can't________ anymore!

 I can't sleep.
 I needed a reminder of hope, as I just want something fixed and perhaps, I just can't pray anymore.

What would you place in that blank?
....maybe you just can't pray anymore ....
...maybe you just can't wait anymore....
....maybe you just can't  believe anymore.... 

Been praying for several but my heart is breaking cause  I believe one particular heart is  breaking this evening.  She is so lost.  She has no peace.  Her husband is an jerk.    THAT was not very sweet or Christ like.  However, her husband does not know Jesus.  He is in love with the world....stuff... and his own thoughts.  He is a sinner.  However, even though I want to smack him and make his eyes open -- I know that I know, God knows his heart and sent His son Jesus for him as well.

People are broken.  People are messy.   In sitting and looking back - I have pity for both of them.  They are dear to me but they are so lost.  So lost.  At times, I want to give up in praying for them.  At times, I just want to quit  -- but I can't.  I know God has placed this burden on my heart because He knows I will continue to pray and believe - no matter what.

So, as I came to my blog site this eve and I looked back at my previous blogs -- I saw the words, "a message of HOPE".  As I needed to read this again.

So, I am sharing.  As I believe,  there is another that needs this reminder. 

A message of hope.....for when you feel - YOU JUST can't anymore...... I have it posted  in my bible, and dated as to when it was passed to me.

It was a direct message from God to me through another and I believe another needs to read and believe and soak it in....Amen!

 it was written by David Wilkerson .  It was his final message before his death in April of 2011.

To believe when all means fail is exceedingly pleasing to God and is most acceptable.  Jesus said to Thomas, "you have believed because you have seen, but blessed are those that do believe and have not seen".  John 20.29 

Blessed are those who believe when there is no evidence of an answer to prayer -- who trust beyond hope when all means have failed.   

Someone has come to the place of hopelessness - the end of hope - the end of all means.   A loved one is facing death and doctors give o hope .  Death seems inevitable.  Hope is gone.  The miracle prayed for is not happening.   

That is when Satan's hordes come to attack your mind with fear, anger, overwhelming questions:  "where is your God now? You prayed until you had no tears left. You fasted. You stood on promises.  You trusted."
Blasphemous thoughts will be injected into your mind:  "Prayer failed, faith failed, don't quit on god-- just do not trust Him anymore. It does not pay!"  

Even questioning God's existence will be injected into your mind.  These have been the devices of Satan for centuries. Some of the godliest men and women who ever lived were under such demonic attacks.   

To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word:  Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights - and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, "I am with you. I Cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. 

 It was no accident. 

It was no failure on your part. 

 Hold fast. 

Let me embrace you in your hour of pain."  

Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail -- his love prevails.  Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word.  There is no other hope in this world.  

- David Wilkerson

I want to encourage her --

So, the enemy is out to steal, kill, and destroy.

  ^{From NIV  10} The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

 ^{-  From The Message Bible  10} Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. “I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

So -- tonight beloved --- I wanted to remind you -- The enemy of your soul is out to destroy you.
How will he do it ??  Through your thoughts mostly -- but he will use your husband - your children - your circumstances - your finances - your weeknesses -- whatever he can.  Period.

Have you underestimated him?   

I had.  I did for MANY years.


 This blog is going to be a bit longer.  And for me - giving you THAT warning ahead of time -- you may need 2 cups of coffee and set your alarm to read  it all in the am -- but I pray you will READ this unto its end.  

As I want to encourage someone this eve -- especially this one, that  has reached out and grabbed the hem of Jesus' cloak in the past few days and has been hanging on .....   I must write !  


The Orlando shootings have been pretty BIG in the news.  Sad.  Prayers.
All the talk about same sex bathrooms.... Prayers.
Our political campaigns now -- Sad. Prayers.
I believe Satan can use anything -- to get you distracted and begin the assault on your thoughts.

I mean -- he convinced EVE, who was living in the Garden, walking and talking with God on a daily basis;  he convinced her that God was withholding something from her and Adam.  Satan convinced Eve ( and Adam was  RIGHT there!) that God was a taker and would not allow her to be wise and such so she should NOT eat from that Tree of Knowledge.  But she did.  They did.  They were deceived.

Has the enemy deceived you into thinking the character of God is manipulative?  

A few mornings ago,  my husband read me a news story of a Christian Artist  named Trey  had come out to his wife and family.  He believes he is gay.  In the letter he wrote to his fans he shared what was going on with him presently.  It went viral.  Of course with the Orlando shootings, the news media picked it up.   Two kids...   wife....  and the marriage was being dissolved.  They had been married 7 and 1/2 years.  So now what?  Another family is destroyed. 

My heart sank.


My heart sank and then God reminded of the scripture that was so piercing last night as I read it several times  from  the book Romans.

 Romans 1: 19-32

This is from the Message Bible.  

Ignoring God Leads to a Downward Spiral

^18-23 But God’s angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. 

 Lord, what shroud am I trying to put over the truth?   

But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can’t see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. 

 Taking a LONG and thoughtful look at what is transpiring around me --

When I gave birth to my child -- what I saw was goodness, favor, and beauty -- NO one can deny God.   Have you ever had that type of moment when you know God is indeed present?  

When astronauts return from being in outer space -- 99% of them come back and claim the beauty and majesty that HAD to be of God!   It's like the science of space declares the wonders of our God! 

Taking a LONG and thoughtful look -- one can't deny there was a Creator!  

Taking a LONG and thoughtful look --what has been submitted to God? 

So nobody has a good excuse. 

What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn’t treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.

They traded the glory of God who holds the world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at a roadside stand -- 

This totally struck me.  

REFUSING to worship ....we worship with our lives and how we live daily.  I know as I was raising my children and they refused to act as I had expected or if they were disobedient -- I disciplined.  

I wanted children that were citizens of character.  And their behavior was a reflection on me as a child.  As an adult -- my children make choices of their own.  They have a choice to always weigh everything they think and do against the standard we use -- His Word.  

So, with God as my perfect parent --- if I disciplined my young when when needed ....how can I think that My Father in heaven won't discipline me as well?  

For that one who is trying to figure out WHY that loved one continues to stay in sin...

How a person can just lie or -- 

Bargain with God into justifying what they think is 'better'.  

They are convinced that "THEY" know better.    They are deceived. 

My heart sank.  

I have seen this in people. 

I have cried with people when  their other half  thinks like this or has begun to believe the lie!  

However, I also know ...hurting people hurt people -- thus, the enemy will USE anything to steal, kill, and destroy!  

^24-25 So God said, in effect, “If that’s what you want, that’s what you get.” It wasn’t long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. 

 To the beloved I am trying to encourage this evening -- that is where he is right now .....
He has wanted something that is not of God --
So, think about what this verse says -- it may appear that he is "OK", but in reality we know and can trust from God's Word ....sin is only pleasurable for  a season!  



And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh, yes!


Sad.  This makes my heart sick.  
Idols.  I think this hurts more, cause I know exactly how it feels to be that prodigal! 

^26-27 Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn’t know how to be human either—women didn’t know how to be women, men didn’t know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.



^28-32 Since they didn’t bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. 

There -- that verse implies that God just allowed them to be -- Tough Love.  I know there were lessons that I had to allow my kids to just learn on their own.  It is hard to watch that, but we must take out hands off of those loved ones and give them to God!  


 I think it is time that as a believer, we must show God's love and be Jesus to a hurting world, but we must know what God's Word says and not sugar coat sin.  We must extend grace but also continue to show the lost His Truth!  


I agree with Lisa Bevere and I will quote her, "we are called to be bedside with the world and be comforting, not get in bed with the world.  We are called to clothe the naked, not get naked with the world, and we are called to hunger and thirst for His Word, not hunger and thirst for the World".



And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable windbags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. 


 They ditch their parents when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. 


And it’s not as if they don’t know better. They know perfectly well they’re spitting in God’s face. And they don’t care—worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!

Hand out prizes?   Funny - what is the reward for being someone that gives his life as he takes others while with ISIS ?  


God's word is something you either believe or you don't.  
I know it is a living testimony of God. 
I know its truth won't return void.  
However, if you don't know what is in that word -- you will fall for whatever!!  

The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  

The enemy will seek to dim your whole desire for prayer -- 
The enemy will downplay the potency of your most strategic weapon -- prayer!  
See Eph 6: 10-20   By putting on the WHOLE armor of God, you can withstand the enemy!

The enemy will seek to destroy your focus.  
The enemy will have you focus on the WRONG culprit.  
Maybe You do need to repent as well as that wayward husband.  
However, he can also disguise himself and manipulate your perspective.

The enemy will use anyone around you, even loved ones that claim they believe God is a miracle working God, to help you think that God has forgotten you.  Many times, we as believers just want the pain to end - so we settle.  Don't!  

The enemy will seek to destroy your identity. He magnifies your insecurities and leading you to doubt what God says about you and to disregard what He's given you.  See Eph 1: 17-19

I can't help but think of that Christian Singer/Artist and his family.  Talk about stealing his identity!??   I believe when you have the belief  that men can be women and women can be men, you are stating that gender can be altered.  
We were created in HIS imagine.  

An attack on gender is an attack on God's image.  God's Word says do not take his name in vain -- I don't want to stand before him in heaven and be one of those that mocked his image as well.  
But this goes for pride and unforgiveness as well.  
There will be many "good" people that may be totally caught  unaware and yet, I don't buy that either as I believe in God's Word that states " that not one will perish"....I believe God will give everyone the opportunity to choose Him before their death and that every ear will of heard that Jesus Christ is Lord.    So....I just believe there will be NO excuse as His Word says in verse  20. 

The enemy will attack your family -- he wants to disintegrate your family.  I am thinking of those two children who will now be co-parented because now the wife has to deal with the fact that she was rejected by her husband. 
That was NOT God's plan nor God's will.   See Gen 3: 1-7
What God has placed together - let no man separate! 

The enemy will attack your confidence as he constantly reminds you of your past and bad choices, hoping to convince you that you are under God's judgement rather than under the blood of Jesus.  Rev.  12:10   It is important to say, I am a sinner saved by grace -- but Jesus then said, "go and sin no more".....  THAT is where I must check myself!   Reveal to me Lord, any motive or thought that is NOT of YOU! 

The enemy will attack and put strategies against your calling and your purity.  He tries to attempt you toward certain sins, convincing you that you can tolerate them without risk!   The enemy knows this will create a wedge and further the distance between you and God!  

The enemy will attack your rest and contentment.  There will be constant pressure to push you beyond the limits.  

The enemy will take every opportunity to keep old wounds fresh in your heart and mind, knowing that anger and hurt and bitterness and unforgiveness will continue to roll damage forward.  See Heb 12:15 


And the enemy will attack your relationships and create disruption and disunity within your circle of friends and within the shared community of the body of Christ.  1 Tim 2.8 

SO......

So, THIS was to encourage?  
YES.  

To that sweet beloved one this evening -- the one brokenhearted or upset cause you have grabbed the hem of Jesus' garment and HE turned around and said, "who touched me?"  

And what did Jesus do?? -- HE healed her.  
He is holding you -- cause no matter what the enemy is trying to do -- the 2nd part of John 10.10 is that Jesus has come so that YOU may have life and live it more abundantly.   God won.  

So, don't let go of that garment.    Believe that Jesus is RIGHT there, looking into your eyes and reminding you -- You are healed.  Walk by faith and not sight.  

So, perhaps you can't figure out WHY this is happening right now -- look over that list of the enemy's strategies that I posted -- they are from my bible study, The Armor of God and dig into God's Word and write out some scriptural prayers to renounce the enemy.  Take an active stand in this fight!  Go to war!  

I know when you understand WHAT you are up against -- it is easier to battle and easier to fight.  
I know that when darkness is exposed to the LIGHT -- LIGHT wins.  

I know that in my own life, I will say --- "it is what it is".....but when whatever sin is exposed and you can begin to pray for the one who has hurt you ......  You will change.  God's Word will wash you and  small victories will come.  

And when you forgive and allow the Lord to fight this battle for you.... you can concentrate on just being with God in the space between hopelessness and victory!!   

I know that it may seem hopeless ....but even as I read and look over the strategies of the enemy -- I can  feel sorry for the one that the enemy has WRAPPED up so tightly right now -- but I have HOPE, cause I believe that we can intercede and bring the enemy to his end!  

I do believe and have HOPE to see and know that God CAN,  resurrect your marriage,  resurrect that prodigal child, or even resurrect that addicted loved one -- 

So, to the dear and beloved one that was drawn to this blog tonight -- cause you wanted to be encouraged -- I pray you are.  

You have NOT been duped -- however, now that you know and can see that you are not fighting flesh and blood but fighting evil powers and rulers and so forth -- maybe you will begin to believe that God has created you for such a time as this - to FIGHT!  

I believe YOU were created to live right here and now in this moment.  The enemy knows and continues to attack so hard -- maybe not for WHAT you can do right now -- but for WHAT your grandchildren will do in the future.......   



So, what are you going to do -- ?? 

You will face God one day and account for WHAT you did here on this earth.  
You will be judged - but by God.  Jesus will be your lawyer!!  

I am speaking to a believer....what has God asked you to do?   
Have you been obedient?  
Have you heard from God lately?  
Maybe HE has been quiet because the last thing HE told you to do - you have not done!!
Why would God speak again if the last time He gave you a direct command...you thought..."nope, not going to do that!"  

Or maybe the enemy has pulled you backwards again so you feel this shame.  
You have /had experienced freedom and then you choose to spit in God's face and go and get back in bed with the world....  

THAT my sweet one -- is between YOU and God.  
But I know that if you call out to HIM - HE is right there and praise God we can start over - NOW.  

But let's start over now and STAY in a cycle of victory and not allow the enemy to USE his schemes to pull us backwards.  

So,  will you fight?   Will you be encouraged?  

FIGHT?  

I pray you will!   

God still does miracles.   

And, I don't normally place a challenge at the end of my blogs -- but if God is speaking to you -- go to your journal or grab a piece of paper and write out a letter to God.  State WHERE the enemy has attacked and then write out a simple prayer..."enough is enough and I am calling you out Satan and taking back ___________"  and let's watch together how stuff begins to change!   

I pray right now -- Lord -- ONLY YOU can connect this blog to one as  the encouragement it was meant to be.  I know it was VERY LONG.  If the ladies reading this could see my keyboard they would see the imprints of my fingerprints as each word was tapped out and practically beaten as I typed.  Lord,  God.... this has to be YOU.  Let these words remind others to check themselves as well...have I spit on you God?   Lord, examine my heart and search me O Lord -- show me exactly where I must repent and God I pray...  that You would confirm this to me --You know what I need confirmed as I am human and I trust You Lord.  

Again Lord for that one .... in reality as I type I can think of four right now that I pray are encouraged.....IN Jesus name, amen.  

Your humbled and simple sheep that loves You Lord for who You are and not what You have done. 
Amen. 
- michelle 

 

  

You hurt me, but I did not lose my security !

So, something transpired as my man and I went to dinner some time ago.   Let me set the scene. 

And I may be very detailed here, but I believe the Lord wants me to share this as it will help another - maybe one  will understand  that 'stuff' can happen to us that hurts our feelings....but it does not have to crush us and it does not have to affect our security in HIM.

(For those women doing the So Long Insecurity Book Study with me..... this relates to Chapter 13, page 245 to be exact.  ) 

Anyway, we are on our way to dinner!!    Moonswiners has become our favorite spot.  It is good.  It is in Ft. Pierce.  So it is a drive there, but we talk, pray, sing worship songs and listen to messages.  It has become like OUR quiet prayer time  but together.    I know it may sound boring or even crazy to drive out of town, but that is something we enjoy doing.    But something happened.  A hurt happened.  Words.  It was stupid, and I quickly got offended but I held my tongue.  I knew it was the enemy trying to disarm me through my husband.  I knew it was NOT the time to talk about the matter and that I had to pray it out before I could respond or 'defend' myself.  I just knew it.

Earlier, at a Women's Conference, one of the  Speakers spoke about good fights and being still and holding our voice, until the time for the SHOUT.  Like in Joshua and how the people were to stay quiet, in fact not even talk until the order came and then they were to shout after that 7th time they circled the walls of Jericho.    As Charlotte Gamble spoke, I heard Holy Spirit confirm in me, "that art of holding your tongue  -- is indeed a key principal when married".   So, I knew that I would address the hurt, in HIS time.  But, it hurt.  I had to bite my lip so I would not cry and I prayed - in my thoughts and in the Spirit. 

 I had already sent a photo to my computer earlier that  week, as God had begun an idea for a blog and I was asking Him about WHEN to share it.  Guess what -- it is NOW!  

Here is the photo, it is a screen shot of my Time Hop for   that particular Day  I think it was May 19th.      I have noticed since March of this year, there has been a post everyday from 5 years ago and from 6 years ago,  meaningful to me.   I have noticed I posted each day and several times each day.  As Six years ago I was in a  crisis of faith.  And I was using Social media as it was intended ...to share media and be social.  However, I was aware of WHAT I placed on it.  Five years ago, I was still in a crisis of faith but it was different.  I had been on a roller coaster of emotions but there has been some healing and break throughs.

So, for the past few months, I have been comparing WHAT I posted six years ago to what I posted five years ago or even 1 -2 years ago.  And with each Time Hop, I marvel at the changes that I can read just through a status update.  I can see sadness, joy, and hurt.  But I can also see HIS grace.

ON this particular day, I remember pulling into CES's  parking lot and parking by the office.  As I walked to the Kindergarten hallway, I noticed the flowers.  I  snapped  this photo from Betty Tillis's garden.  I was noticing beauty as it has been a hellish week.

The photo also showed  text of how I took some 4th graders to the VA hospital over in WPB.  I had written a grant and this was our final project.  We were spreading good cheer to the Vets that were permanent residents there.

 And then I noticed the scripture verse I posted and felt in my heart....what I was feeling that day.  You see, six years ago - I was clutching my bible each night as I crawled into bed - by myself.  May had marked the month where my husband and I separated.    But I had spent the days before I took the photo of the Sunflower in some deep therapy and counsel -- trying to see if there was hope for my marriage.   I wanted HOPE so desperately but it did not look hopeful.  It looked a mess. 

So as I said -- 

In my status six years ago, you can tell I am in need of prayer.  I have noticed that I did not specify WHY or WHAT, but I have  been reading each day since May 1st carefully.    Very carefully as I was reminded of a 'hurt' or perhaps a seed of bitterness that needed to be dealt with -- some six years later.

As the enemy would USE my time on FB against me - back then, he still tries today but he is unsuccessful now!     FB  --  it was a source of contention.  Probably about 7-10x I was lectured by   my then estranged husband.  He  was MAD as people would come up to him and ask ...."what is with your wife?"....Or, "what has happened in your house?".    (We live in such a small town. )

Six years ago, I would just yell back and say, "I am not posting anything but scripture" but it would not satisfy the upset husband- he was just hurting and frustrated and from his perspective, I was not showing any respect to him.

Each time he would fuss, I would assure him I did not say anything wrong, but he would not let me defend myself or even look to show me the "what?".  And he could never give me an answer as to whom was bugging him or alerting him to my FB account. 

So, I hope you are getting the picture here.  It was a NO WIN situation.  I know  I began to filter my posts and weighed each one in my mind..."would this status hurt or help?".  Actually, I just stopped posting as much and I just decided he could not fuss at me if there was NOTHING placed on there - period.  You see, I was determined to be RIGHT!    ( At least at that time in our lives and marriage.)

OK..so, digressed, BACK  to last night heading to Moonswiners.

Within a 30 second conversation that root of bitterness shot up quickly -- and words were spoken as I was reading FB to him and he noticed another  person spilling her  guts on FB  about her man and my man  was triggered.

"see, I am so glad you don't do that anymore"  ( this is my man)
" I never did that"   ( this is me) 
"yes you did"
"no, it was all scripture"
"now don't get so defensive, I am not trying to start an argument, but you did, cause people would come up to me and say stuff"
" who and what would they say?" 
And with that comment, I noticed both of our voices had gone to yelling mode.

THAT does not happen  - it hardly ever happens.
Quickly I said to myself, "shut your mouth".  

He finished stating his peace and I was quiet and silent. 
As now he was frustrated and other stuff was said,  hurtful stuff.
Then 3 minutes of silence.  

I know I watched the clock as I prayed and reminded God, it was HIS duty to fight for me.

But as I prayed and he continued to talk and I would answer, "yes or no".  ( one word answers) I just continued to pray.

And when we got to dinner -
"why are you so quiet?"
"I am just praying, trying to hold my tongue"
"I dropped a boulder, didn't I?"
"yes"
"I am sorry that my boulder hurt that much, I did not mean for it to hit you like that, I thought it was just a small stone"
"I accept your apology -just give me a few minutes to get past it"

The waitress came and got our order.
And in an instant -- all was well again.


So, tonight as I was reading my So Long Insecurity book, on page 245 Beth begins and says this:

Two days ago, someone I love said something to me that would of shot a poison arrow straight to the heart of any woman.  Just as my soul was about to wilt like a weed, I steadied myself and thought about our journey. Then I thought these words:  Nope, You don't get to do that to me.  I refuse to let the words you used to go from my ears straight to my security and take it away from me. Nope, not doing it.  I cried later, but I did not feel insecure.  Injured, YES..but I still had my dignity!  As because I did, I bounced back twice as fast  as I would of otherwise!     - Beth Moore, pg. 245


There, Beth stated in one paragraph what I am trying to convey in this entire blog!!!
She made a choice.

I made a choice that night.
 Injured,  YES...but I still had my dignity!  And I bounced back.


I not only bounced back, I felt the Lord urging me to get to the bottom of the root of bitterness as I asked HIM,  GOD, why  did I get so defensive right away.    God, He,  spoke sweetly to me and reminded me, cause I was so mindful of WHAT I did put out there on FB  -- as I wanted prayer and sympathy but I did not want to hurt my man.  He reminded me of HOW far we have come.

He reminded me that from my husband's perspective  - he saw and heard something else.  
He also reminded me that --staying QUIET is always best.  
He asked me about my heart and where my heart was when I posted -- did I post to receive sympathy...and quickly.... I knew ...I had.  I did.     I wanted comfort.  

God quickly showed me HOW far I have come.  
HE also gave me compassion for those women who still post the posts for sympathy...

  Then, I spent  an hour later that night, on my computer and pulled up every FB post from May 2010 to October when 'stuff' was a little better.  I read each post, each comment and I took a few notes.  And I prayed and  as the Holy Spirit orchestrated a conversation before midnight between me and my man, He allowed   my husband and I  to talk about  the car ride and the offense.
 
  Everything the enemy tried to use against us -- one way or another God protected me and him.  We know, God wants to use our story to bring hope to others.  We know we are different people than six years ago -even a year ago.

And even in this situation --   I did not lose my security in HIM. 

We are excited to be obedient to HIM and we understand the miracle that we both are.
We both were prodigals but just in different ways.

We both committed sin again our heavenly Father and were extended grace and mercy.
We both  know who gets the credit for our 2nd chance or our 2nd act.
We both give Him all the glory!

So to summarize ...ladies -- make a choice.

Don't allow insecurity to attach itself to fear or offense or spoken words by another.  Learn to be secure in Christ and deal with that other stuff -- with HIM.

And.... watch,  God brings everything around to His good -- nothing is wasted.  


THIS  car ride happened several weeks ago.  I wrote the blog but did not publish it.
MUCH has transpired since that fateful drive to Moonswiners.

This weekend, I watched a preacher, Charlotte Gambill speak about the unnamed woman in 2 Kings 4.  The story and her insight into God's Word HIT me right on the head.

As I listened to her share her insight that I know God gave her -- I was refreshed and reminded of How God does not let anything be wasted!  

God had to BRING a deeper healing to both Brendan and I back then -- because HE knew what would transpire in this past week.

Our seeds of sorrow,  were/are another's seed for tomorrow.  
God knew that both Brendan and I had to have some HARD conversations and 'therapy' almost a month ago -- to be prepared for this past week.....as He has brought us a new couple to intercede with.


So with that...

LORD... I pray for each woman reading this -- that as she experiences a 'hurt'..it won't take away her security in YOU.  And Lord, for these precious new prayer requests...for her and for him.... God, that each of them are secure in YOU.  Lord, I pray You would use both my man and I, not only to intercede but also to encourage.  May they see -- there is HOPE!   

Lord, for any marriage this eve that  is not secure --- in You.  Lord, that they would each dig deep and their hunger would be for YOU and that it would grow deeper by the moment.  
Lord, use this for YOUR glory -- protect my heart and my man's heart -- these 'truthful' blogs could quickly be used against each of us; however, I believe You orchestrated this blog and gave me the right words, even as I edit it again for the 4th time and block out stuff..... Lord, may the one reading this make the RIGHT choice.  IN Jesus name,  amen. 

Please forgive me....

Please forgive me, I had an expectation of you that was not met and it hurt my heart.  

Please forgive me, I had a frustration and felt for a moment ---you are not committed.

Please forgive me, I had an expectation that was not met and it created thoughts a bit where I questioned what was a priority in you. 

Please forgive me ......   God clearly showed me my error and HOW wrong I was. 

Please forgive me......  for the expectation that YOU should of been as committed as I am?  

Oh...NOT that one,  that confession, hurt to type.

Please forgive me, as I had an expectation and expected you to fill it.
Please forgive me, as I felt YOU are not as committed as "I" believe you should be.  

Ok Lord,  I began the blog confession that You clearly wrote in my head and heart yesterday morning while I was hosting PINK.    But THIS Is hard.   THIS could be misunderstood.  THIS could cause an offense.  THIS could turn someone seeking you -- off.  But Lord, this may also speak to the one you want...the one you want to return to you, wholeheartedly and with repentance because there has been something other than YOU at the top of her heart. 

Ok Lord,  this is going to be a delicate blog to post -- as ONLY YOU can protect the hearts that read it ...I do not want to add guilt or shame, but use this to speak so personally to the one or two that will read it.  

....squirrel...  as I am blogging this early am, I have worship music playing behind my screen.  Right now I hear Chris Carnes  ( Kari Jobe Carnes's honey) sing.... "the Cross has the final word".

It places everything into perspective.

That song places everything into perspective.  Let me explain.....


I spent two days with a group of 40+ women.  Actually, I spent the weekend with 9000+ women.  I am part of a team at my church that has been given an assignment -- Women's Ministry.  I know of the  assignments God has given me.  I pray that was grammatically correct, but He has laid on my heart some ideas and events that HE wants to use to draw women in.

   I learned  so MUCH this weekend and God confirmed that He is using me at this time....as He knows, I will give HIM the glory.  One of the speakers taught us about being CALLED and being SENT.  All are called.  We all have a calling, but God is the one who sends us.   His timing is perfect and He sends us when He knows...we won't rely on ourselves...when our self-reliance is gone...so that all will know HE did 'this' or HE  gets the glory.

My self-reliance is gone.  There was NO way this past weekend could of happened without many helpers but also because of God!  It was all God!  

I believe He confirmed in me that HE has SENT me.  I am ready.   I am just the 'conduit'...the 'culvert'  being used to help connect women to women.  I am just being used to help provide resources and prayer.  I am being used by HIM...but all glory goes to HIM.    All glory.

God showed up in a mighty way and we, the women at the PINK Impact Conference these past 2 days,  could feel HIM as present as the 9000 women who were in attendance in Fort Worth Texas 'live' last weekend.

 God does that!

For me... if the music is played loud enough and if my  heart is cleared and open to receive, it does not matter if it is a tape delayed presentation or a live one -- God moves.

God speaks.
God delivers.
God was present.

And I wanted that ...THAT for so many more.  
I just wanted THAT for so many more.  

So I questioned myself or allowed the enemy to whisper..."you did not advertise it like you did last year".  "You did not specifically ASK those to come, you only sent a link or a social media invite".   And, "you did not fast  for this event...you should of".

Those thoughts lasted  ONLY about 10 seconds, as the enemy does NOT defeat me that quickly anymore. I have gained some ground as I am secure in Christ and quickly reminded Satan, "there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus".

But I still WANTED  this for many more. 


I confessed on Saturday morning to the women in our sancutary, I wanted MORE in attendance.
However, I knew that I knew, as my precious husband reminded me that morning and the evening before..."THIS Is NOT about numbers Chell, this is about hearts". 

   My husband gave me that insight.

My husband  who is very aware of numbers.
My husband who 4-10 years previously...would of NOT cared about a person's heart.  Well, he did care...but he was not worried about their connection to Christ.

My husband, who was a part of the prayer that bathed this event for the past few months.
My husband, who is wise and who seeks God's counsel and uses God's word to encourage me.  

So, as I said,  I did want MORE in attendance but God quickly reminded me through several...the ONES that came, where God ordained and appointed.

( And Mrs. Griffen, thank you for that reminder and confirmation today on your FB post!!  I may sound confident, but God still uses precious people to confirm what HE says to me.  I know that I know all of my affirmation must come from HIM and THAT is what HE is presently teaching me and training me to endure -- but when a sister in Christ gives a sweet affirmation, my heart immediately smiles! )  


....squirrel....sorry -- back to the attendance...

It did not matter if there was 100 or 5 in that room -- HE was there.  HE appointed this time.  HE anointed the event and it changed people.   

And I knew instantly, HE, God,  would  provide THAT or THIS for you --
YOu... the one I am seeking forgiveness from -- YOU...but it will be in HIS time.   

So, again, please forgive me!

  
Please forgive me, as I had an expectation and expected you to fill it.
Please forgive me, as I felt YOU are not as committed as "I" believe you should be.  



So  God has me there...  here.... having a heart to HELP women... having a heart to share God's goodness and tools to get freedom!!  


 However, God reminded  me over and over...HE draws you near, and He saves...not me.  

And HE uses HIS word to remind and teach me and to 'reproof' me.......

Thessalonians 5New Living Translation (NLT)

5 Now concerning how and when all this will happen, dear brothers and sisters,^[a] we don’t really need to write you. ² For you know quite well that the day of the Lord’s return will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night. ³ When people are saying, “Everything is peaceful and secure,” then disaster will fall on them as suddenly as a pregnant woman’s labor pains begin. And there will be no escape.

This passage reminds me, time is short! 

Later in Thessalonians --  

¹¹ So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

Paul’s Final Advice

¹² Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. ¹³ Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other.

¹⁴ Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.
¹⁵ See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.
¹⁶ Always be joyful. ¹⁷ Never stop praying. ¹⁸ Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
¹⁹ Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. ²⁰ Do not scoff at prophecies, ²¹ but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. ²² Stay away from every kind of evil.


His assignment for  me is to plan, provide, and, encourage--

So please forgive me, that I looked to you and expected something that God did not ordain at this time and moment.  

So please forgive me  -- I prayed for you and asked HIM to surround you in such a way that your heart yearns and longs for Him. 

So please forgive me....God may be Lord of Your life but I judged you - wrongly.  
I had an expectation that I placed upon you -- please forgive me.  

And perhaps this blog post has reminded you that .....HE is drawing you...
And perhaps this blog post has convicted  you, as you  ignored the event because you allowed distractions .....please know,   HE is drawing you close...   This is not about shame! 

GOD is right there with you -- just talk to HIM.
 Allow HIM to speak ....  allow Him to remind YOU how He formed you in your mother's womb and He has known about this day for all of your life.

Allow Him to draw you close, just clear the places so your ears can hear -- HIM.

Lord, OK...I did it.  I blogged.  This was a tough one.  But as YOU showed me how to circle well, I can rest in the fact that I know -- THIS is one of the ways you speak to Your people.  
I may not have written affirmation for each blog that we write together that it has indeed changed a life, but I look forward to our time in heaven when the BIG Jumbo-tron is brought out and I get to see the seeds I planted and what happened.  Until then....I will TRUST only YOU in these matters and I pray the enemy stays AWAY today....as even last night, after a big and glorious weekend -- HE attacked and tried HIS best to worm his way into my evening ...but YOU won.  As you always do but YOU will win when it comes to me...as I am bound and determined to live that life...worthy of Your calling...  IN Jesus name.  Amen.  

Sister Wives, Love Boat, Zombie Remodel, and Me

Psalm 94 vs. 16-19 in the Message bible says:

Who stood up for me against the wicked?  Who took my side against evil workers?  If GOD had not been there fore me, I never would of made it.  The minute I said, " I 'm slipping, I'm falling, " your love, GOD , took hold and held me fast.  When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up. 

 The photo right here was snapped exactly 6 years ago.  May 12, 2010.

Today I had a bit of a wrestling match or a pity party with God.  Not with Jesus...God.  Let me explain.   And I pray I did not grieve Holy Spirit as I did. 

I know how significant this photo is. It was a night where my kids were trying to help me get a photo taken with my new I phone.  I had crossed  over.

  Six years ago, I also spent the afternoon watching a few children give their Tropicana Speeches and a good 90 minutes with my counselor --an intense session where  forgiveness was the topic and task.  That is what  God asks us to do  -- so why today did I wrestle with God?  

I am not sure.... probably because this life is HARD and I just needed to wrestle with God today! 

Maybe my activities this past weekend added to my thoughts and my wrestling today -- ??

This past weekend, I watched a bit of the Sister Wives drama.  I was intrigued- I admit.  There was scandal and rumor of an affair.  After an hour of watching interviews, fast forwarding through commercials and stupid stuff -- I came to this conclusion -- they need help and prayer!   I told Bren later on, all I kept hearing over and over was, "I am different now, I don't know what I  want, I just need to research what can make me happy, I felt...and I ...and I  and I ....".  There was so much of ME ME ME ME ME ..... and their needs, their desires and with each interview I found myself yelling at the TV -- YOU need Jesus!!  ( Lord, why am I watching this?)   Not that NBC or TLC would ask me, but each of those women need Jesus and a good dose of  Psalm 139.  They have such holes within their lives and hearts.  They have been deceived.   THE ONLY redeeming thing I got from that show was to hear the older children of these women ... they WON'T do the plural lifestyle...they have all decided -- they want ONLY one person to marry.

Praise God.    I thought about that  -- the joy I get from seeing my child enjoy her marriage and the joy I get from praying for my son's future wife and family -- I enjoy that.  These women  will watch and hear this over and over - how their children don't want to walk in their footsteps.  

I felt that spoke VOLUMES.         They will have to watch their children and their choices for all of their lives and be reminded that their children choose NOT to follow their example.  Sad.   There are many mixed up people.    There are many that need Jesus! 

 Love Boat, yep - life seemed much easier when that show was on every Saturday.  And Zombie Remodel is a new show my man and I have found -- kind of cool watching them fix up old homes in Orlando! Perhaps thats what I want from God ....a zombie remodel!!     Yes, Lord, take this 'sore' and old body and remake it -- new!!  Amen. 

So...there is my head and my thoughts --I do want some radical things around me to change.  


And then....


Who stood up for me against the wicked?  Who took my side against evil workers?  If GOD had not been there fore me, I never would of made it.  The minute I said, " I 'm slipping, I'm falling, " your love, GOD , took hold and held me fast.  When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up.  



Who stood up for me against the wicked?  God has -- HE won.  And right now, even though I am frustrated with some choices a few around me are making -- or have made....  He knows.  

God will stand up against the wicked for YOU too.....

Who took my side against evil workers?  God has.  God did.  6 years ago I made a conscious decision to sit with a therapist and put Satan in  a chair and tell him off.  I also placed other 'symbols' in that chair and I made a list of WHAT I need to forgive,   WHOM I  needed to forgive, and then I did it.  I  forgave and freedom was declared.  Now as I left her office to go home, I did not feel very different but I had made a choice to believe God.    I decided to 'faith it until I felt it'. 

God will take YOUR side as well -- but, is there unforgiveness that needs to be dealt with?  Is there anger that must be revolved? All  it takes at first is a cry to Him --

If GOD had not been there fore me, I never would of made it.  God reminded me today while I was wrestling with Him that He is not passive and HE is at work.  

 I  borrowed that thought or truth from Ps. James.  He reminded me of that this past Sunday.  God is continually pursuing His children.  I have been watching those around me and deciding whom should get a cattle prod zap and whom needs to get on their knees and that watching is NOT what He wanted me to do.  I had to repent the 'fixer' in me.    

God also reminded me that I must wait and be patient when it comes to this or that...and I have to have faith when it comes to this one or that one.  

Do you feel the same?  If it were NOT for Christ -- would you of made it?   Thank Him right now for what He has done and know -- He is not finished yet!!  

The minute I said, " I 'm slipping, I'm falling, " your love, GOD , took hold and held me fast.   God did that the minute I cried out back six years ago and He did that again today when I cried out.  I actually sent an email to my husband and asked him to pray for me. 

 Then God brought me a sweet precious sister in Christ where I could vent and through her, HE reminded me that when I slip -- He is there.  Whether I am bothered by a hang nail,   another's sad plight, or even the answer to a question that been prayed for ....now for over six months!!   Another sweet woman reminded me about Moses this past weekend and how God spoke to him and gave him an assignment and with that assignment, He reminded Moses that He was the I AM.  So therefore, the I AM knows my head and heart today and as I wrestled with God, HE knew the outcome.  He knew Jesus would be there to pick me up and He knew Holy Spirit would teach me to dig deep and believe -- not because of WHAT I have seen God already do, but because I know that I know -- God will provide, win , and that He is a good good father.  

I caught myself pleading with God, "Lord, I have been faithful - why can't you HURRY on this one prayer..." And as that precious sister reminded me -- "Michelle, I think He wants you to be still and wait".    Probably. 


If you are slipping and falling right now -- HE will meet you right where you are at!  Just call upon and call out to Him! 
 
 When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up. God did.  It is in those moments where I know -- my flesh wants to have a pity party and cry and yet my head and heart knows -- there is NO need cause God has delivered me and provided.    THAT is the wrestling....and I just need time for it to pass -- to call upon God.  And God will answer those prayers for those other women -- just like HE met me today.  I am human.  He knows.  


Lord,  there are several women today that are in dire stratights.  They need a miracle - yesterday.  Lord, they love you and You know them best.  Provide.  Lord, that each of them, seeking you will read Your word this eve and be able to say ..." I am slipping and I am falling".... That they would be able to journal or blog a WHOLE bunch of HOW you met them.  As Lord, I can't meet their needs -- ONLY You can.  Lord,  take this burden from me.  Lord,  that this frustration from me.  Lord, allow me to SEE the work of Your hands.  I will be Yours hands and feet, but in these moments where it seems like there is a stalemate or MORE crud is revealed  ...and it hurts my heart - give me the words to share from Your Word.  Give me the patience -- I know you have GIVEN me patience already but I need some EXTRA patience -- just send one more angel on my behalf to whisper in my ear -- I want to hear from You even more Lord.  I want to do Your will even more... I want that LOVE You have for all of me and others to spill out of me - to others.  Use me Lord.  

And Lord, for that one this eve that is ready to quit -- help her.  In Jesus name.  Amen.  
May she wrestle with You Lord like Jacob did -- and be changed forever.
Amen.  

A Different Mother's Day -- being HELD by HIM.

Being  ...held......

Refugee mother and child.

So a few days ago  I wrote a blog about being held -- being held by God.   All this week, HE has been forming and writing  a blog about mothers as well.  Today,  "being held"  is something HE wants me to continue in this blog--



A few days ago, I shared research about the word HOLD and being HELD in the bible. 



These 2 verses were found:  
   2 Thessalonians 2.15    So then brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

   1 Titus 1.9
  He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

Then I found this:   the word HOLD with a capital "h" is found in 11 verses in our bible, 9 chapters, and 9 books.....that version is  more of the noun hold....

Psalm 119.117   Hold thou  me up, and I will be safe; and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually.

I have been thinking about Mother's Day all week - and thinking about the Mother's that are in a very HARD place right now.  And, I thought of a few first time moms as well. 

Then I came across this.  The word HOLD with a capital H is there 11 times but the word hold with a lower case 'h' ......is in 167 verses...167 verses....49 chapters....35 books...I was astounded.

That is the verb hold !   an action!   God is holding us! That is a present- active VERB! 

One of the first actions a mother does -- is HOLD her child. 


Psalm 139.10    Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

Proverbs 3.18  She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her and happy is every one that retainith her.

Isaiah 41.13  For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee.

That last verse...spoke life into me many times and if you read the blog a few days ago, I shared a story about how God illustrated to me HOW HE has held me.

 But today .....  as I came to school, Holy Spirit spoke and I knew HOW He was going to use this knowledge of holding .....some mothers today.  It overwhelmed me! 

   As I entered school today, I saw a mother sitting on the bench waiting for the student that she attends to each day.  He is a child with some major behavioral issues and yet, over the past 9 months, she has mothered him and he is now a different child - for the better.     He was not speaking when he started school.  He speaks now.  God even orchestrated his lunch time today, to  be when I ate lunch, as I believe God wanted me to see evidence of this God ordained little one and HOW God meets every need.  I watched him communicate at lunch today with the lady whom has been placed as his aide.  In August,  he was unable to function in a normal classroom so our Principal had to hire a person to attend to him  -- that was the  beautiful young mother sitting there on the  school bench this am.

 I know her - only through  school, but I have been able to watch her for five years now as she was a 1st grade paraprofessional and then she moved to other grades,  moved out of state, but God brought her back  and this year -- she is the sole assistant for  this little boy.

 She has become a mother/teacher to him.   Earlier this year, God also allowed her to   became a mom for the first time as well.  She glowed, she was so excited.  However,  Jesus called the little one home and he will spend his first Mother's Day with Jesus.   I have thought about this new mom over and over in the past few weeks.  My heart broke when she had to say a temporary good bye to him here on earth until she sees him in heaven.  I thought about her first  Mother's Day -- 


God knows I prayed for her when she was trying to keep him in her belly and I prayed when the news came that he had gone to heaven.   And I trust God is sovereign and that she will be a mom again, but indeed this Mother's Day will be different. 

She is not the only Mom that has dealt with the loss  of a  child.

 My own sister  watched  an ambulance come and pick up her 17 year old, after he had taken flight to be with Jesus.  It happened at home, quite simply -- he went into a deep sleep and Jesus came and took him.    It was a very hard time.     He would be 25 now, he and my daughter are 11 weeks apart.

I can still tell you  what I was doing when I got the call  from my sister and how the next 4 hours went and how the next week went....and I can even tell you how the next month played out.

It seems hard to believe -- that  was almost 8 years ago.    Mother's Day...Birthdays...all of them don't really get easier -- just different.

 He wasn't my son, but I claimed him.  He spent MANY a weekend with me .....and traveled to school with me and even sat in my classroom for the better part of a year when he was in 1st grade.   My sister has two other  precious  children through her  husband and marriage .....but I have been thinking about her all week.  As Mother's Day approached and 'how' it is different for her.

It has been different for her for some time now. 
I have been thinking about her Mother's Day for some time now. 

In my own world, my husband and I have an empty nest.   I prayed and asked God to bring both my kids home on Sunday for church and then a meal -- how I relish and covet the time we get to spend now with them. 

I have been thinking of my Mother's Day all week -- 

One of my first friends in Okeechobee had two small kids when I moved her and met her.  She had a cowboy for a husband and I met her through her in-laws.  They were new friends of  my in-laws.  Other than my husband, she was truly one of the first people I 'hung with' at the  Cattleman's Rodeo here in Okeechobee.   Those first 3 years here, there were TWO Cattleman's Rodeos and I enjoyed selling tickets and watching her kids play about the Arena.   As I began my teaching career, we had some  mutual friends but she was a part of a family that I saw often.   I was blessed  a few years later to have her youngest  son as my 3rd grader.  And as she taught in various schools across Okeechobee our paths crossed a lot.  We spent a LOT of time together working on some math stuff for  almost a year in Okeechobee when FCAT began and then time and space moved in .....and she moved to a different county and eventually a different state, but I have fond memories of her.

I have been thinking of her all week and I have been thinking about her Mother's Day -- 

She is a mom of two adult children,  but now she is battling an awful disease  - Alzheimer's.   I have prayed and realized  the disease has taken its fullest toll.....yet, I thought of both of her children this week -- and what Mother's Day is like for them. I even spoke to her sweet daughter-n-law and asked "how" things were.  Again, another Mother's Day -- that is different.  Both of those grown adult children would  love to see and have their 'mother' back but that is not happening at the moment. 

I thought of another dear friend who lost her mother just before Christmas and this will be the first Mother's Day without her.  It will be different.  She is still grieving.

I thought of my own mother and how we disagree on some very important issues in life and yet -- I would not trade any bit of strife, fun, or tension right now and thank God that I still have here here to share recipes or text messages with and I praise God  for her -- as God planned for her to be MY mom even before He planned for Joyce to be her mom!     But Mother's Day has been different for 28 years -- as I have lived 1400 miles away from her for the past 28 years..... I have never really been close to invite her to dinner or take her for a spa day....  and I know I owe her 28+ gifts as it is easy to just send a card......   thinking about Mother's Day.....


As my Facebook friends changed their profile pictures this week with memories of their mother's and posted the photos that 'MADE' them moms....I thought of their Mother's Day celebrations --

I have thought about several mothers around me that have children that are so lost right now, making poor poor life choices, and mothers that are dealing with children that have literally taken EVERYTHING  but the kitchen sink from them.    What  is their Mother's Day going to be like? 

 I have thought about and prayed for the moms around me right now that are fighting for their children by holding onto a marriage that is in crisis.  I have thought about a few moms that I know who have children with special needs,  health issues and even a mom of a  5th grader who is going through surgery at the moment so she can continue to grow as she walks with braces and spends most of her time in a wheelchair.  I also thought of the moms of my students - some I have met and others I have never met because they are absent from their child's life or they have gone to heaven already. 

I have been DOING a lot of thinking....well, I have.   A lot of praying too!  

I have a new student who joined my class a few months ago.  She is 11 almost 12.  It was 2-3, maybe even 4 years ago where she lost her mother.  In the past 5 years, I have hesitated in doing the typical, "mother's day" poems and gifts as each of my students have different situations at home.     I did the Mother's Day poems this year and she choose to write a poem about her mom in heaven.  It touches me so - and I believe it brought a good deal of healing in her heart!   I thank God for this new student, she has been a breath of fresh air!     However, her cousin....  I remember, very clearly, about 5 years ago when I asked  him  why he would not write a poem about his mother and he just looked at me and yelled, "cause she's in jail".   Needless to say, this child  had counsel and he is doing  well in middle school.  He lives with his dad and step mom.    I see him in the hallways  or when he is teasing his cousins.  He is a regular attender of FCA and after I speak to him, I always walk away and pray for him,  his family,  his mother, and his Grandmother. 

However, I thought about that mom  and her Mother's Day.    I was blessed to have  her  other son in my class last year.  And I thought about the Grandmother who  has been raising her grandchildren as  both of her daughters have been absent.  I thought about the Grandmother's Day -- 

  I have thought about women who  have struggled with infertility and singleness and the longing to be a mother.   

And I thought of Mary.  The mother of Jesus . I thought about how she watched him all her life and then as he became a man....how he walked away from his mother and family and began His work for His Father.  And I thought about how Mary's  Mother's Day would play out...   

And that brings me back to being HELD....

Casting Crowns has a song called, "Be held".  The Lyrics are here: 

Yep, that is my kid's head. She was 7! The flip side of this craft has a poem!

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes

Lord, for the moms...for the children that can write a poem!

Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who wont let go

I started off with  the idea of writing a blog about Mother's Day.   Truth be told, I wanted to write something as a gift for my sister, but in this past week, as I have prayed and spoken to God about this blog ...it has been a gift to ME!

 I pray this blog has made you think, uplifted you, and also -- reminded you that indeed -- Mother's Day should really be EVERYday!  

I am unsure what type of mother you are or what your relationship is.  Maybe this blog post has reminded you of hurt, sadness , or maybe this blog post has given you perspective  and you are thankful and grateful. 

Sunday is Mother's Day.  Anna Jarvis started a campaign for a Mother's Day back in 1908.  In 1914 it became America's FIRST official holiday.  Later in her life, Anna would campaign trying to get the holiday taken BACK off the calendar  because it quickly became a holiday where the commercialization of it made her so upset.   Let's face it --  we all get caught up in the holiday - right?  I mean, Mother's should be honored everyday!

I am unsure how Your Mother's Day will play out -- but I do know the ONE who can hold you whether your Mother's Day is very different, hard, sad, or joyous .....  either way -- God can minister to us through the Holy Spirit and through Jesus!   


Lord, this is a rather different blog post.  I pray it encourages another.    I pray the women that are represented in this blog post will see it as a good thing and I pray that they will realize that YOU are using them as they walk through their own losses and struggles.  

Lord, I know watching and praying for the different mom's I shared about this week has  me thinking and looking at this official holiday in a new way.  I pray comfort and peace to those precious moms who are in pain and filled with sadness. 

Lord,  I pray joy and peace onto those in the battle with wayward adult children and/or teens.  I pray Your will be done in the lives of each and every child represented through this blog -- spiritual children  or the ones you created. 

Lord,  I pray Your will be done in the lives of the young mothers and  those that will be future mothers.  Lord, You are the ultimate nurturer -- may each woman that reads this tonight -- or tomorrow -- may they know and realize that they can GO to YOU and be held -- and experience a beautiful Mother's Day with Joy ....in spite of it being different!   IN JESUS name, Amen.
- michelle