Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Marriage Prayers #14 Guarding your time.

My husband and I got away from a few days.  He found a great coupon, called, and well -- we are enjoying some time away.   He orchestrated it -- I am humbled and thankful as this does not happen on a routine basis.  Time for us.  Guarded time. Time away to walk, read, and just sit.  Needed time.

Guarding time to be with your spouse is so important.  When we were going through some major therapy and counsel, Dr. Connie  asked us ...'what do you both like to do for fun?'.    We answered and yet, that really did not change much.

We enjoyed some common activities but that seemed to be the 'same old stuff'.  She encouraged us to figure out something new.   So -----Harley motorcycle -- here we come.    The thrill of  try something new.  The thrill of doing it together.  And then each of us had to learn and then pass our cycle test -- and get it endorsed on our driver's license.  That was the start of some ...new fun.

I thought about that a lot today as we walked Downtown Disney and talked about what we used to do with our kids.   How we spent many Thanksgiving weeks traveling to Wisconsin to visit or carving out some precious days at Port Orleans - Riverside.  And how some of our early memories with our children blessed us so.  And we almost ate at the Planet Hollywood -- for old times sake.  ( Taylor and Hunter could probably share memories of eating there.) 

And I thought about HOW the enemy would continue to distract and steal away that NEW FUN as we tried and how he had 'soured' the old memories .......for that season.    ( The enemy is consistent in trying to destroy and when a marriage is in a crisis...reliving old memories hurt and can bring shame and condemnation)  However, it was only for a season and now old  routine memories and "old stuff" is just as sweet and the newer memories are just the icing on the cake!  

Earlier this week, I was reminded about something -- I was reminded how I placed so many OTHER things...in front of my marriage....   my job..... my kids....  my name......

But in reality -- I had placed idols of all sorts ...including my husband in front of God.

I committed adultery against my Lord...   I had other gods before Him ----

It became so easy to fall in love with the world -- and just fall into the trap of success cause THAT is what was feeding my heart and head with affirmation ... falling into the trap of being to busy -- because of the kids... and then....  falling into a major RUT....where all of a sudden --   one day you realize --

----- something is missing and something has happened --and yet...you think --

 'wait,  ...but God.... I have been ...so good'.  

 The enemy could tell what God had planned for me -- and he did overtime distracting me and then setting a goal of destroying my marriage and my family. The enemy hates us.

With out my even knowing it -- I had allowed my immature relationship with the Lord...to just remain - immature.  

 ( A baby)

 As I grew -- I never grew up with HIM.    And so therefore, I could not even fight -- it was only after  a major hit -- that I decided to fight.

I thought how this happens in many marriages.

I am unsure as to where you are in your marriage.  If this blog has grabbed your attention for the first time or if you are a regular reader -- but I can attest to this -- NO marriage is SAFE.

 It is a daily thing.  

It is something that You must work at.  Now, my blogs are written for a women's perspective but this goes true for men too....  it takes a union -- where 2 become ONE flesh.  Period.

That is why it hurts so badly when one is ...."no longer in love"....or when "one is unsure".... It hurts bad.
 But, I  write this blog with the focus on guarding your time ---

I truly believe that if you are guarding your time with God...having your quiet time with him, even if it is only for 10 minutes a day --  that you are already AHEAD of the game...by 200%!   Guarding and setting aside time to sit with God...listen to God...sing with God... and reading His Love Letter....is so vital and important.

If that does not 'seem' easy -- pray about HIM carving out the time for it.  HE will.  He wants Your attention.   Pray to crave HIS Word.  Pray to WANT to read His Word.

Please do it now and believe He will....I pray it won't take a major crisis or hurt to make you grow up with the Lord.  Please don't be me.....

I remember walking back to my hotel room after a Living Proof Live Event with two dear women and stating out loud to myself and to them..."I want to have that LOVE of God's Word like Beth does".  And I could hardly sleep and wanted to grow deeper with God.  And I started too -- and I did a bit -- but, then as I wrote earlier -- I allowed the business of this world, the lies of Satan, and my own 'success' detour me and dictate my actions.  And, I allowed my own 'religious self-righteousness' to take over and the enemy used that spirit of religion to distract me -- and keep me in a stronghold.

Do I think my life would of been different if I would of been spiritually mature at that point -- YES.  But I was not.

However, as a sweet 'new'  dear friend  and I were chatting on Sunday, the Holy Spirit spoke and reminded me -- God knew.

And so I declared: "if it was OK for God to know and allow....then why would I question or even feel shame and regret for what I did not see and know back then..."       WOW!  Such liberty in that revelation.

"IF it was OK for God to allow me those 38 years of being a former idiot...cause HE knew that by the time I was 44...I would TRULY get it...  then it is good for me too! ".

If it is good enough for God -- then it is good enough for me!  

Again...  God knew and heard my prayer back in 1998...  God knew the potential...God allowed  the years of my wandering in the desert...God allowed the hurt....and God has walked us through the repentance, the redemption and the restoration.....So I won't look back and say, "if I had only known..."

( If you know me well...I am doing the Mercy Me -  SHAKE dance right now!)  

So, if you are reading this for the first time...perhaps God will use this to OPEN your eyes...so you don't have to go through the pain and the death of a marriage to be awaken ---- don't read this half- hardheartedly.  

And, after getting our time with God in order -- now work on guarding your time with your husband.  

And, after getting our time with God in order -- now work on guarding your time with your husband. 

And, after getting our time with God in order -- now work on guarding your time with your husband. 
I tease often -- "it was easier being single".  I was "single" for 6 months.  I did not have to make the bed, did not have to worry about supper -- and there is freedom in that.  However, after I tease about that -- I remember almost every night in bed alone and in tears...hugging my bible and asking God to relieve the pain.  

Now, I know there are many hurting women out there - waiting on a man -- but I pray it is only waiting on that someone to do life with and ministry with - as Jesus has to be OUR MAIN man.  But...as I say that - I realize there are many out there -- waiting on their husband  to return home for one reason or another ....hang in there -- allow God to fill that void.

In guarding that time -- sex is a major factor.
God created it.

I was reading in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7 today - and was reminded again -- about how important sex is to a marriage.  Guard that time -- make that time.

Even guarding time to listen to each other and  being sacrificial to each other -- doing something for  your spouse that took extra effort or your time.....

Guarding the time to have FUN with him.

Guarding the time to work with him on a project.

Guarding the time to just sit with him.

Figure out his love language and be that -- for him.

God commanded our men to love us --as HE loves the church.  So often our men can't love us the right way -- cause they don't love Jesus the right way.    ( that is an entire different blog)

That really struck home to me as we walked and talked.  What excites me the most now as a married woman of over 28 years...is when I see and hear him speak to another about Jesus.  When I see and hear him pray over another younger person or with me as we pray with a couple -- if he only knew how much -- that gets to me.   He actually knows....he does..but I have to wait on God  for my husband as well --as he continues to walk in his ministry. 

You see -- I don't have to see muscles, hear romantic music, or see him in a  sexy outfit ..... I just need to see Jesus walking out in him and it is powerful.

These poor poor men -- that are so visual ......( and that is another blog post too...)

So with that -- I pray --

Lord, I got a bit personal again -- but, I believe that being real on this blog and being transparent before You and others is something you have called me to do.  For some reason Lord, I can write and tell ....and it helps.  Lord, You have seen the couples we are praying for and You have heard our cries -- as there are many hurting -- but today Lord, I pray that the wives of these men are guarding their time with You and I pray their hearts are being open to WHAT you wish to communicate to them as wives...mothers...and daughters of  YOU.  Lord, for their men -- who are being selfish, arrogant, disobedient, and immoral...God -- give them the peace that YOU are working within their hearts.  

HOLD these women, or give them the peace to move forward.  You know Lord, that  I want families whole and reunited...but in all of that -- it is them  -- they -- those that will stand before YOU one on one and each will be held accountable.  Lord for the ones you have placed on my heart and asked me to stand in the gap for.......Lord, I stand.  

Lord, for my own husband...   I pray that as he continues to seek you, read your word, and listen to You -- it will just blossom and grow and overflow into our lives...our marriage, and into our fun.  Lord, for his eyes -- may they always watch for You.  Lord, for his ears, that they only hear You.  Lord, for his steps...that they  stay on that path towards You.  I take nothing for granted Lord, it was You who opened the eyes...You who brought beauty out of ashes...  it was You Lord in strengthening my heart...and You who gets the glory.  

Lord, I want that for the many around me and the ones that read this that do not even know of me.  I WANT that for all of Your children... for my parents...for my siblings and their spouses...for my children and their spouses... God I want that -- use me Lord, but don't allow me to self-destruct in the meantime... God I don't want my work for you to overtake -- and I forget WHAT is right in front of me.  

Lord, thank you for the blessing of my friend Fran and how you used her to inspire this blog,  used her to teach me many of your concepts over the years, and how You used her to give me an affirmation ---the affirmation I needed to hear from YOU -- in YOUR perfect timing, at the perfect time and for the perfect reason.  To show and remind me -- that ALL this time -- YOU have held me.  So therefore, I can share that with another troubled one that has not faith -- nothing is wasted Lord.  Not one dinner with her and her husband...not one racquetball game and not one prayer -- Bless her Lord.   And I thank you for the blessing of my friend Charlotte who continues to encourage and how YOU use her to remind me of the most important things...my time with YOU.  Lord, for her marriage..for her family...for her man....and for her ministry Lord. -- Use her in a mighty way, but not at the forsaking of her first goal -- You and then Donnie her divine Husband that YOU choose.  Lord, she will remind and tell people often of how an adulterous marriage is not Your will....but give her the grace and mercy to know when to share.  And use her testimony of divine healing for Your glory...and use her to speak in the lives of her daughters...and continue that legacy that Meme began in her ---  Lord, for such a time as this -- bless her Lord.  

Lord, I am humbled.  Period.  Lord, I am humbled...... humbled....  humbled...and grateful.  

Lord, for the upcoming Encounter and the women attending -- that the wives attending -- will see and experience YOU in a great and mighty way -- that they will return home to husbands...that notice something -- they notice YOU.  Lord,  help us all --to be Jesus to our spouses ...our kids...and our enemies.  
Lord that the women attending that have suffered great loss and are in deep heartache..may they see the strongholds that need to be released but also that they are HELD by YOU and realize how loved they are in YOUR sight.  Lord, for even the leaders ...that need a touch -- for if anyone of us claims that everything is perfect..we are liars...but God - that we can proclaim -- it is WELL within our souls...amen.  

Lord, for the one who thinks I hate her today -- God, orchestrate our lives and soften the heart -- as I don't, but show me what I can change and do -- so this NEVER happens again.  Lord, for the one who has taught me a whole new side of forgiveness... 

Lord, specifically for the one who is healed of cancer -- I believe YOU will use her and her husband to speak of YOUR faithfulness..to speak of your gifts...and to speak of the power of marriage...and the power of prayer of a husband over a wife....

And Lord for the ones who think they are 'cool'...and on the right path cause they showed up.  Or Lord for the new ones like me that thought -- they were 'perfect' in  your eyes... as they walk out this wilderness -- give me the patience to wait on YOU -- and not judge or want to SMACK them... 

Lord, for the future of these blogs.....  show me how and when to write - that it is not a time waster nor does it become an idol.  I am sick of idols.  Lord -- You are first.  Bren is 2nd...  my kids are 3rd and the ministry you have given me is 4th...and I know that -- help me to keep it all in perspective.  Lord, empty me of me......fill me with You -- In Jesus name.  

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