Tuesday, May 3, 2016

To Whom it May Concern --

Marriage is suppose to be forever -- right?

 Until Death do us part?
In sickness and in health? 
This is an image of a random couple but just by looking at the photo -- MUCH can be said!!!!  

Some how ...some way...   this couple MADE it.  You can tell from the photo they have been married for several years.

Look, they are both smiling and holding the photo of the two of them as young lovers.  He has his arm around her and they both are still smiling!  

My sister celebrated her 16th year of marriage last week.    My cousin and his wife celebrated 26 years as well last week;  and  my husband and I will celebrate 29 years this coming August!! 
My parents celebrated their 50th last summer, and in fact, last Sunday it was officially 51 years!!

Longevity, steadfastness.......   Or Insanity? 

May 1st just happened.  CNN has been running the specials about the OBL mission, as he was killed on May 1, 2011.   But May 1st has a different meaning for me.   It is a mile marker date for me.  It's a date that comes on the calendar once a year and I reflect. 

It was a night some time ago---I laid  in my bed, alone,  confused, broken, bewildered, and devastated....wondering what on earth had happened ....to "us". 

That night I had a dream, a vision of something that blessed me - in between the tears and restless sleep.  A dream of renewing our marriage vows in front of family and friends. 

I believe God gave me that vision, that dream, that night  - cause HE knew what would hold me and what I would focus on as the next 2 years of hell played out.  He knew what I needed cause HE created me.  HE placed the urge in me to win.  He placed the urge in me to keep faith and He placed in me the wanting....  I believe God places that wanting  in all of us.

He created us - He formed us in our mother's womb in His image.   We were created to worship and fellowship with Him.  The other people in our lives were created for the same purpose.   Marriage was God's plan to help us learn to love sacrificially.  Period.    Loving another more than yourself is indeed a concept.  It is easy to understand how we can love our children more than perhaps the next door neighbor's kid --- but loving another more than ourselves.

 Jesus was the ultimate example -- God loved the world so much that He gave us His only son and Jesus went to that cross on our behalf because he loved US that much!

Loving THAT much hurts.  Jesus was hurt on that cross but He stayed put and died for us.  He died for me and He died for you.  

Anyway -- THIS is not about me this eve.  This blog has been written a few times within my brain and it even made its way to paper and pencil -- but this evening - it is making it to print.  Blog.

When my husband and I were separated, I would SEARCH the web for anything and everything that could possibly HELP.   I came across so many blogs and posts about marriages working 'it out" and yet, for each positive result, I could find and read 2-3 negatives ones -- even in the Christian Circles.  However, I had hope and still believed that some how - some way , God would   OPEN his eyes.

And, I remember I came across this one letter --  "to whom it may concern" and I cried and prayed that some how and some way  --- "Lord, if only my husband could read this , he would repent and our family could reunite!".

However -- that never happened. 

We can't manipulate God. 

Nor...can we change free will ....or can we?

Nor, can we WISH something to happen.  Even when we sincerely believe that a blog post, a photo, or even a note or text from our spouse COULD change the situation....it usually does not.     Our TRUE HOPE is in HIM and HIM alone.  

HE has to be it.
HE has to be our everything so that we can walk out this life. 

I didn't believe that in my own power and strength I could change my husband's  mind at that hard time: but I did believe that with God , nothing was impossible.  And In  all things-- God is faithful and nothing was too difficult for him.  I also believed that  HIS Love covered a multitude of sins. 

Through God -- through prayer, fasting, tears, counsel and faith -- somehow - someway ...a miracle occurred.    God won. 

But now -- today -- there is another that needs a vision to hold onto - an answer.
There is even another that has watched and waited for a LONG time and she is so tired....she is ready to quit and I DO NOT blame her, in fact...I am sitting here secreting cheering her on...  He does not deserve her!! 

But God...   I must even in my anger over seeing another precious woman deal with this hurt and pain -- I must allow God to be God.... and I will pray for a miracle in that marriage and in THAT one too! 

However,  with this prayer -- I am going to first post - "MY" To Whom it May concern! 

TO Whom it May Concern:  

Do you realize what you are giving up? 
Do you realize what hell you are placing your children through?  
Do you realize why you are in this place right here and right now?   
Do you realize that YOU will regret these choices?   

I know it -- I have seen it.  So therefore, I ask -- What would God really WANT you to do today?  
What scriptures have you read today?  
Where in that bible of yours does it say ---- "its ok, the kids will be fine without their dad speaking life into them?".  

Where in that bible of yours does it say -- -" I can do what makes me feel good!". ???
Where in that bible of yours does it say,   "You deserve a better ending to your life -- and you deserve a fresh start!".  ????

To Whom it May Concern -- your wife is trying to hold your family together.  She can't keep this up much longer.  God is moving within your family and with your life - don't you see it, or will you remain "blind" to it??   

Another person that is hurting this evening as she prays and watches ....

Ok Lord, 
I got it OUT.  To Whom it May Concern - good thing You are God and I am not as if I had the ability right now to SMACK that person -- I would.  I would use a cattle prod or a taser and enjoy watching the pain for a brief moment as I am tired of crying with the wife.   

However...But YOU God are sovereign.  I know you will bring beauty out of these ashes, whether he figures it out or not -- You love them both -- the entire family.    He will have to deal with You.  He will have to account for his sin.  Lord, for her right now .... hold her - guide her and show her what You want her to do next....

...file for divorce?   
...wait on You?  
.....or just be still for a moment?     Lord, that is what I told her to do -- just sit for a moment and be still before you and LET you make the next move.  We still believe in miracles.  I still believe that You can orchestrate someone printing off this blog and giving it to another so his eyes will open.... I know nothing is wasted and it has taken me almost a week to get this blog written and then posted...as YOU have been tendering my heart to show grace and mercy as well when I just want to use a cattle prod...  I love you Lord.  I am thankful You allowed the grace and mercy extended to me in my time of stupid selfishness...so I will extend it too.  

Hold her Lord.  Touch those kids...  
May the RIGHT person read this today and know -- that You God are in the business of making us new.  

In Jesus name, Amen.   

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