This is a link to the blog I posted last year around May 1st .
You may wish to read it.
to Whom it may concern --
I read it again today and felt -- awesome blog!! ( Awesome in the fact that God wins - not that I am this GREAT writer -- Holy Spirit is penning most of my thoughts on this blog!!)
I have no idea of WHOM I was upset with when I wrote that blog, or WHICH prayer request or response that inspired my indignation towards Satan, but I am afraid that even if I don't remember who inspired that prayer, there is a still another couple that can FIT into that description. Unfortunately , the enemy is alive and well and doing all he can to destroy marriages, those wives, and even those husbands that are trying to hold the marriage together.
So this is my 2017 May 1st blog --
Today is my parents wedding anniversary a day I never forget. Not only is it their anniversary but if you recall, it was the day that President Obama got on TV and told us all about the Special Seal Team Six which had killed Bin Laden. A few years ago, it was the FIRST PINK Impact at our church. ( Its a Women's Conference ) And even five years ago I celebrated the first day of May in Chicago being at my first and last IRA Convention !
Or maybe you remember another type of May Day.... If you are of a certain age, you may have put May Baskets filled with flowers on door knobs. Or maybe you danced around a May pole.....
Or maybe even still, you called out an SOS distress call and yelled, "may day -- may day -- I need help!" I have a niece in the Coast Guard but when I hear those words, I think of Gilligan's Island - the popular after school TV show I grew up on. However or whatever you think of on May 1st 2017--- is almost finished as I blog it will round midnight soon!
Again Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, 52 years!! THAT is a really big accomplishment but today, I am screaming and rejoicing at WHAT GOD won for me and it has nothing to do with my folks.
That is my CATCH phrase. Many blogs ago you can read the WHY behind it and where it came from but today marks seven years. Seven years ago the enemy tried his best to kill me, destroy a family, and steal my hope. And... well - he did not succeed. He not only tried to destroy me, but he tried his best to destroy several families on that day and take the casualties along with him. But - he lost. I won. We won. God won.
I believe that no matter what God uses--
....... it could be a phone call from the husband of the other woman,
......... it could be an email that declares you were misunderstood and then fired,
.......it could be the news of an adult child who was arrested for a DWI,
.......it could just be a devastating disappointment that has set you into depression,
.....or it could just be the news that disease was discovered and there needed to be surgery ASAP -- whatever God allows to get our attention -- we have two choices. We can ACT and do something or we can allow it to happen to us.
Luke 17.4 reminds us to forgive - 7x 70....
God is ---He is constantly seeking us, drawing us close and God wants a relationship with us - a relationship that we were born to have. God created me to be used by Him -- period. If you have read my blog- ever - you know the whole story and have formed some opinions but basically -- it took a phone call that opened my eyes to some sin. It changed everything. People quickly blame one partner in the marriage but that phone call opened my eyes to much and God showed me where I too was deep in sin - idolatry. My sin was sin -- there is no level or grades of sin. Sin is sin. Missing the mark!
Seven. Seven years ago. Seven is God's perfect number. A few weeks after we sold our home back in 2011, I heard from God and I heard, "he will rebuild the home". God was referring to my husband. Now, God was also meaning - HIM...as with God, my husband would rebuild our home. I heard it so clearly in my spirit and I knew that I knew - it was God speaking to me. THAT phrase has sustained me and kept me focused many times when I wanted to quit!
May 1, 2010 - sucked.
Sorry -- that is not a nice word.
It was awful. The rest of the month and early summer got even worse. By October of 2010 there was a little hope but by February of 2011 it was awful again. Our marriage -- our family was being torn apart. OH wait - it already was pretty much broken but the attempts to try and fix it -- just made it worse. By April of 2011 it was pretty much decided that my husband and I would probably divorce. But April became May and all of a sudden June arrived and some circumstances changed. ( I had finally GOTTEN out of the way, but I wasn't really living with the promise yet.) Anyway by late September of 2011 we sold our home and began a journey of professional counsel again and we both gave an honest attempt to try and save our marriage.
I blogged about that first home -- you may want to read that sometime. The link is here:
Our home -
I really don't want to hash up old stuff -- you can read back on this blog and read different aspects of our counsel and healing - but the bottom line is that we did something different. And as you read, I have prayed and tried my best to show anyone that reads this -- there were two of us in this marriage, two of us that drifted from God. Each doing their own thing -- but basically - we were not in relationship with Our Lord. Period.
I have a dear pal that I love. She has energy and the drive to self-motivate herself. I admire her. She has always motivated me to try many things. She got me rollerblading back after HP was born. She convinced me walking 60 miles was a way to raise money for Breast Cancer research and I went on to raise over 12K for that cause. And she has kept me grounded often when I get a crazy idea or exaggerate as she is a numbers person and I tend to fudge numbers -- and each time she gently corrects me I love her more. I have watched her, or at least know that since this past January, she has gotten up each day by 4:20am to do some 'core -d - force' and she pushes her body. She exercises. She pushes and sweats! And then again, the next day - she does it again. She then watches what goes into her mouth and basically DOES what we all want to do - sticks to a meal plan that is good for our bodies. She has changed her appearance. And guess what - Since January she has lost over 20 pounds and 24 inches. You can see , she is a different person -physically. She did it. She got off her butt, out of bed and pushed herself. I have known her for over 20 years and she does this often but as we age it gets harder to achieve. But she had to DO something. She changed it up. Me...I have EVERY excuse under the sun as to why I did not have the results like she did. I have been motivated and have lost a bit, but I have more to go. Each morning, she is a reminder to me to get off my butt! But I digressed -- my point was - SHE takes action!
I say all that cause, both my husband and I will tell couples and share when we are asked-- go and get some extra professional help. TAKE Action! People change. But the bottom line is -- God can change people too -- and marriages now days end too quickly - people don't want to stand and fight or change... many will not get out of that bed and do what is necessary. Many enjoy the pit they have found themselves in. Or -- they just don't feel they can get past it -- but did they really try?
So with that, from October 2011 - to the summer of 2012 -- a lot of hard work was done. And it cost us. CASH. Allowing a good Christian Therapist to dissect your life and challenge you and then pay her hourly fee was a bit of a hardship at times -- but it paid off. However, a key part of this process were the prayer partners that prayed with us and for us as well and that stood in the gap when professional counsel was very hard and hurtful. God changed us both. In my reality, I truly say it took more faith for my husband to believe that God could change his heart. It changed. I had never fell out of love with my high school sweetheart -- he was totally convinced we never should of married. Like I said -- and he agrees, it took some wild faith and trust in God! And PRAYER!
And in reality, now, we can laugh about it. As my daughter quotes her pal Alfred, "if you can't laugh at it - you are not over it". We are over it. It took about three years to get through the awkwardness to the healing, but God has redeemed our marriage and we have the marriage we were created to have. 2014 - 2015 and 2016 have all been wonderful healing years where God restored and regifted us with memories that covered over the cruddy ones!
I could talk for hours - just the most stupid of stupid memories that may pop up and Satan says, "I got you Michelle - remember when...."....and yet, God has a plan and the BEST revenge or event happens through God and God covers the crud and gives us a new memory to go forward with!!
As I said, once we moved into our first rental, I know God spoke to me in my Spirit -- "he will rebuild the house". I have blogged this before and I have had the greatest privilege to watch my husband humbly rebuild relationships with each of our children, seek forgiveness from those around him, and each of my siblings and family besides a few others. I have watched a man change - from avoiding God's Word to craving it. I have watched him find each rental we moved into ( 4 of them) and he has been working his tail off for the past two months getting me - getting us a home. And besides, he negotiated the sale of this present home. God used my husband and He made a way. Brendan even surrendered when it came to furniture shopping -- we made joint choices but in reality it was what I wanted. I ( we) made my first mortgage payment today for the house that 'he rebuilt' with God. It is not ironic?? On the day that Satan tried to destroy the home -- God has provided us with a new home and new furnishings and I get to actually PAY for it with the provision He has given us - our jobs.
I have no idea WHAT your circumstance may be or if you read my blogs on a routine basis, but I just want to encourage you -- whatever God is allowing within your life -- He will guide you and bring beauty out of the ashes -- if you will let Him and if you will do the work!!
I have seen a man who walked away from God and justified each and every action he did become a man who now seeks God for every decision and craves to spend time with Him. I have seen something hopelessly dead - come back to life. It was not easy --it took TIME, but it was WORTH it.
When two people truly SEEK God and allow Him to lead and change them -- I know redemption can happen. In our journey -- I have met several couples. Quiet couples -- that have come back from the brink of death and experienced very similar circumstances like us -- they did not post it on FB -- but they survived -- and are happier now. There are many blogs on the internet that speak of God's grace and His healing power. There is also a lot of other stuff out there -- using the standard, "it just did not work for us".....but even in those circumstances, forgiveness has to happen and God's healing must occur or the same mistakes will be repeated.
I also know several couples that just 'fell out of love' and regret that they did not seek GOD and counsel to amend hearts that were just tired. Satan convinced them. Satan is a liar - and he hates marriage and loves to do anything to steal, kill, and destroy. And I have seen some couples that were unequally yoked from the beginning and some make it and some destroy each other -- but then again, I thank God that I don't have to answer for them. And please -- don't take any condemnation from this blog. If the enemy is telling you that you messed up and blew it -- there is time to tell that enemy to shut up and seek God. Make peace. Beauty comes from ashes. I knew there are couples, wives, that have prayed, fasted, and still -- their marriage did not survive - but God will lead and pull you out of that pit and there CAN be happiness in your circumstances. Seek God. I am just going to say this -- God can win.
Contact me if you want to give up and we can start to pray -- maybe it is you that wants out, not your husband --- but if God is the one you seek for guidance and direction -- I know what He is speaking to you. He wants you to fight and not give up hope ....... God wants ALL of you. Maybe you feel it is all your husband's doing and his fault -- speak with me and let me share with you my sin .....
Deut. 28: 13-14 says that God will not allow the enemy to keep me at the bottom!
I will end with a few pictures of our new home -- that he rebuilt.... by the way, it was Brendan's idea to frame in the windows. My brother did it. I believe it is the perfect accent for my little red cottage -- !! I had to add that in there -- as he is pretty proud of himself -- my hubby that is!
|PS. My Brother cut in the stairs - now to get it screened in..!|
I laugh too! I can't wait to see WHAT God will do in the next season --we have nicknamed this our Red Cottage -- the redemption house. Yes, we still own property and we may build in 2-3 years that DREAM home that we have plans for - but we will let God lead. He may just call His bride home sooner than later and that DREAM home will be in heaven!
Brendan and I want to use our home to help couples and fellowship and be those prayer warriors standing in the gap and we pray they will want to get up at 4:30 in the am and FIGHT and do the HARD work - as we know -- it is worth it. God wins!
- I am humbled and in awe of God --
|Love covers a multitude of sins - 1 Peter 4.7|
|I love this man -- we are growing OLD together! 30 years this August!|