Friday, May 5, 2017

To my Chidren ..... #2 - UNMET expectations.

This series of   blogs- maybe two or more    continues.   

This series is being   written for children -- adult children.  This series is not necessarily written for my children and yet it may be. And it is being written for the parents of adult children.   I am praying and believing that this blog series will be shared,   be a hope for some parents, be a reality check for others, and maybe it will even give some  the courage  to some paretns to have a heart to heart  conversation with their adult child ---that they have been avoiding.  

I think one of the reasons why I have been avoiding this,  is because I don't want to bring my own children into this. 

 I blog.  

I share my heart --  in and throughout that you learn about my children but in no way do I want the enemy to use ANY part of these blogs to hurt them.  I do have two grown children and their lives and their experiences will probably be woven into these blogs, but this is NOT about them.  Honestly, most of my circle of friends have teens or soon to be adult children and their lives, their heartaches, prayers, and my prayers for them could  also be woven into this series and inspire me to write but then again I truly only write when the Holy Spirit is writing for me.  I trust God.

 Again, I pray this will help - not hurt but there are a few truths, that I will be sharing to all but also to my own children  and nothing I write or say on here, is nothing that I have not already stated or said to each of my children at one time or another -- it is what it is.  So with that -- here is the 2nd one. 

 The 2nd blog  --

What is next?


Let's face it, as parents we place a lot of expectations on our children.  I bet you would agree with me that you "don't want to make the same mistakes your parents made".

Have you heard that?
Have you said that or said, "I want my children to avoid the mistakes I made!"

I knew for certain of a few traditions and actions that were going to be a part of the lives of my children. They were instances and events that I wanted to share with my children and continue fond childhood memories.  For example, I wanted to make sure they knew how to rake fallen leaves and then jump into a hug pile of those raked leaves and walk away itchy from the dead dry crumbles that get into our clothes.  And  there were a few "NO WAYS"  in what I  would allow as well. I knew I did not want my kids to fuss before they went to bed - there was going to be a routine.  I also wanted my kids to go to bed, on time without having to rock or go to bed with them to make them sleep.  And a funny one -- I was not going to let my kids eat in the car and make a mess..... 

  But, time passes.   And now as we have grown up children do our expectations change?
I have been thinking about this.

No....   what I wanted for my children as kids -is what I want for them now.
I want God's fullness to be a part of their lives.
I want God's favor on their lives.
I want God to be first in their lives.
I want them to WANT God.

Now, being honest -- that was not always what I wanted.  I mean, I knew I wanted them to love God but in my 20's and 30's.... I really didn't know  to like or much less love God --like I know Him now and today.  So, I only wanted for them what I 'knew'.  In hindsight - I realize -- what I wanted was limited.  But praise God that He knew... and HE had great plans for them and HE was with them!

First off - I think it is important to take a moment and just release all the expectations we had for our children and place them at the feet of Jesus.  Whether they were good, or not so good -- they were expectations we had and  today is a new day.

So with that --

Lord, I come to you and lay down any expectations that were out of pride or selfishness, I lay down any expectations that disappointed me  or hurt my children and basically Lord, I am allowing the past to be the past.  Period.  IN Jesus' name ..Amen.  

And... I lay down any unmet expectations......   and Lord, with our present relationships and our present circumstances -- I lay down any unmet expectations that  I am still expecting in my child.  Lord, this child was a gift -- and I will continue to believe that You are the best parent and that YOU have my adult child .....  and I will believe that no matter what, as You know the desire of my heart -- that I will  stand in the gap for my child and pray without ceasing but I won't take 'them' back -- this child is Yours.  IN Jesus name...Amen.!   

And Lord, for those adult children that are reading this -- I pray they will release US as the parents and not hold us to expectations that we can't meet.  I pray that they would open up communication lines if need be with US parents -- that our situations would indeed honor and glorify your kingdom.  Lord, I pray that each of these children have repented of any pride and misgivings along the way - and that they too learn from us and may they place everything of their life into your hands and your perspective.  IN Jesus name - amen. 

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