I have had to stop and really think these past few days. As this is not a perfect world, and things are not always as they seem, but several 'circumstances' and situations have come to my head or been brought to my attention. And I just have to say this....
There seems to be a double standard. It seems that when a 'man' sins...it seems to be brushed under the rug a little easier than if the 'woman' did it. Just saying. It seems that when the woman stands up for her self, it is not received the same as if the 'man' had done it. Maybe it is just a perception.
Now that could conjure up ALL sorts of stuff and I have to say this - I examined my heart and my motives too. Please don't read into this more than it is...I am fine, my husband did not 'do' anything to cause me to ponder this, as I said....as we both love people, we work and talk to others, and others and their lives do enter into our lives. And as I have said.....this 40 days of prayer is for several Christian Sisters in Christ.... but there are others.... many others that are -- hurting people and couples, and children out there.
So, I asked myself..... Do I 'forgive' one easier than another...
And I do...I have found that I 'forgive' one that I judged "lost"....a LOT easier than one I judged a "Christian". Does that make sense?
I have found myself really frustrated with a sister in Christ cause I believe she is not acting like she should, but within another person - I 'pardon' that. Did that make sense?
Hopefully I am speaking to another - if not - than I am JUST speaking to myself, but I needed to ask God to forgive me again, and that has been my head today...so that is what I am posting a prayer for this eve.
Lord, I can't judge another 's heart, you will do this, but I see this one and that one and I believe they are not acting in a way that would please you. Lord, it is hurting her family. Lord, it is hurting her daughter. Lord, it is hurting. However Lord, I will trust you. Lord, I used to say that if you blew up Brendan and he came to me in a million pieces....I would take the one that fell into my lap and 'work with it'. So Lord, if you bring this woman back into my life...I will work with it! Lord, I want your will to be done - and I want total freedom and peace in her life. I want her to have the life you designed for her! Lord, forgive me as I have judged....Lord, I know that godly sorrow leads to repentance. Lord, I pray that she will allow the walls to fall down and take a real look within her self and begin to really LET you in enough. Lord, there is bitterness and unforgiveness within her life - you can see it and hear it when she speaks but she does not see or hear it - only YOU lord, can open those eyes. Lord, real sorrow leads to seek out counsel and wisdom. I am watching with big eyes ...how the counsel and the people you have placed into her life....Lord, I pray she will see it too. Lord, there are other strongholds and other situations that must stop as well, as there are others interfering with the situation, Lord I ask that you would severe that bridle that seems to be holding onto her, Lord for the sake of the family ...there needs to be a mountain moved and removed. But I TRUST you enough Lord to do it in YOUR time. Sorry Lord for getting frustrated today at them ..but basically at you..as I know YOU can do something to fix this and when I don't see stuff 'moving' I think you are still..when in reality - YOU are moving behind the scenes! I thank you for that Lord.
And Lord, for the other women I am praying for - bless them ...work within their lives, thank you for the answered prayer I have heard and seen. Thank you for blessing them with clarity of mind!
Lord, forgive me again if I over spoke - Lord, I pray that tomorrow, the ones trying to harm these sisters in YOU have spiritual eyes that are awaken - tomorrow and they will apologize for the heartache and hurt they have caused.
Lord, for the women from our Church that just returned from their Encounter Weekend -- protect them, as they process their healing and see and experience more of your presence.
Lord, for the one we heard this evening that has cancer - just found out. Lord, I know you won't let her down.
Lord, for the one seeking medical attention for breast cancer and the other dear one battling the chemo now...
Lord for the others I could name and the one that is hurting -- heal Lord, emotionally and physically as well, as comfort. YOU are a great God. I know you answer prayers. I praise and thank you that I can come to you - rant and rave and YOU get me...there are over 7000 promises in the bible from YOU..wow..THANK you for loving me THAT much. Amen.