Marriage is HARD. Bold Prayers - Day #6 - Walk by faith

This should of posted on July 4th - Independence Day!   I happen to be in Canada and our tour guide on that day stated, "it's your Independence Day - why are you in Canada?".


I thought about that comment.

I thought about a few women who are in a marriage and they are probably saying, "why am I here?"

I thought about that statement and asked myself, "why am I here?".

I am 'here' cause of God.  Because at a very hard time in my life, when my marriage was deeply in crisis mode....I turned to someone WHO did not fail me.

Our "home" for the next few days - Fairmont @Whistler, BC 

I have learned to love HIM in a new way in the past ten years.  I still question stuff here and there, but I come quickly back to the knowledge -- "He is a good good Father".

I am and have been praying for several marriages and added a few prayers for some new women who are seeking God in their marriages  at this present moment.  But I am also praying for mine.

Traveling brings stress.  We flew almost 8 hours on the 3rd... our ears HURT.  Packing seems to bring stress and some how needed items were forgotten.  That simple stress, can set off an argument or harsh words.   Then when we got here, the chatter was about a group of hikers -- 7 of them.  3 were missing.  However, the three missing -- fell off a cliff.  I am pretty sure that the parents of those 3 hikers are asking, "why were they so close?" 


Many of us experience physical and emotional pain daily.  Often when we sit and think - there is usually someone else that has it WORSE than we do.

But anyway -- today, I wanted to pray specifically for those women who are asking, "why am I here?".


So here it goes --

We walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

Dear Beloved, this evening I just wanted to remind you that we walk by faith and not by sight.  I am sure that if you love Jesus  and you call God your Father and rely on the Holy Spirit ....then you will understand this.  Right now I am to remind you -- that God knows your heart and your pain and your present situation -- He is not surprised.  Continue to seek HIM, continue to trust that God will make a way and continue to LOOK up to HIM for each answer and for the next move.  Lord, I pray that this dear beloved woman who wants her marriage to improve....wants her marriage to come forward out of this season...wants her husband to SEEK YOU first...well, I pray that this woman would  be refreshed and reminded that indeed - she is pleasing you because of her faith.  Lord, this evening - remind her in some special and supernatural way -- that YOU are fighting for her.  Lord, when she says the words, "why am I here?"  May she also HEAR YOU reply -- YOU are here because there is RIGHT where I need you.  Bless her Lord,  IN Jesus name, AMEN.


And Lord, for the families of those hikers -- and for the other 4 of those hikers who will never forget this day -- God, may glory be revealed in this.  May there be beauty out of the ashes.... as a parent, of a young man currently roaming the streets of NYC this evening -- I pray a hedge of protection over him as well.  

Marriage is HARD. Bold prayers Day #5 - Why fast...

 Today is Day #5.  It is just 1am, but we are leaving for the airport and I won't be able to post a blog/prayer for a few days.  However -- I will still pray.   If there happens to be a computer and free wi-fi - I possible could keep these blogs current.  However, I will believe that those reading and following this series at the moment will just go back to Day 1-4 and  read or they will write their own Day #6 and Day #7, etc.  And I will pray that as they write, they see and hear God lead and move them into the RIGHT direction.  There are four couples DEEP in my prayers and thoughts right now.  And one in particular reached out to me yesterday, so with that - the Holy Spirit brought me back to this post.  

I wrote this back in 2016.  As I read it just now and prayed for this one particular wife, I prayed she would read this, even  HOW LONG it is, and consider fasting for her marriage.  I pray she will begin to pray for her husband is a new found way, using the prayer at the bottom of this blog post.  I also pray that she will listen to what God has to say. 

 

 

A prayer for him..... a challenge to you -- fasting.

 Back in  late  February of 2011,  I was getting ready to attend a ladies Encounter.   We, my husband and I,  had met with our marriage counselor at the end of January and agreed that my husband would move out of the house again and that separation would be a fact.    At that meeting/counsel session -- my spirit was tired, it was mad, it was so lonely and I was challenging God and questioning....where you there?  

Taylor's 20th birthday!

  I sat at the meeting with ever fiber of my being  - mad.  Disgusted and ready to just quit.  However ---   My godly counsel assured me that God was  there and I was to continue to believe and walk in that knowledge of what was unseen.  Ha...Humph.  That was easier being said than done.  Period.

We met, agreed to meet  again on February 6th, 2011 and tell both children   ( age 19 and 15) that dad was going to move out.  Little did I know that he had no hope for our marriage and my hope was slowly disappearing.   Our therapist was indeed wise  and only shared with me what I needed to know, as my emotional state was a bit irrational at times.  To me - my entire world had been shut down and I was begging for life.

And I must state that my husband's emotional state was also irrational and needed counsel and God used our therapist to help move each of us to a better place.  She felt in her knowledge that he had to get out of the home - the guilt was overbearing him.    

My emotions at that point -- were still trusting in a human's actions.  My husband's actions.  You see - he had become my idol.   You see, I was not trusting God.  I did not understand HOW.  Even though I said, God was everything and Jesus was Lord, my thoughts and my actions did not believe it nor act in that manner.

 I was afraid.

 Even so, I was obedient to counsel and met.  February 6th, 2011 would be the date - our daughter's 20th birthday and the night we would deposit our son  by way of a flight from Miami, on an oversees trip to Coast Rica to play soccer.  I remember sitting there and just saying in my head, "OK"....and saying out loud, "OK", but something happened when I got in the car to go home.  In the car, I said to myself, "hell no".  And that is when I heard the Lord say - begin to fast.   

I had heard preachers talk about fasting and my goldly counsel had suggested it as well - but, that night, I knew it was time.  So, I began to fast and at that point, I was barely eating anything, but I had decided I would only eat breakfast and some protein at night - the rest of the day - water.

Our appointment to tell the kids would be February 6th.  It was January 30th.   By Tuesday of that week -- or Day 3 of my fast, I got a call -- the appointment had been cancelled.   Both my husband called me at school and so did the therapist.  She had been unable to sleep for a few days and felt the need to call Brendan and speak to him -- she wanted to wait, it was NOT a good idea to send  HP oversees with the thought of his  parents separating now for a more permanent arrangement.  And it was not something a 20 year old should remember on her birthday.

For some reason -- God brought me to this memory today.  For His purpose, I will share.

 When I got the phone call from the therapist I was dumbfounded and just said, "OK".   And I remember driving home from school that day in a daze.     My fasting had worked.  God had moved.   I did not want that fateful meeting to occur and it was  cancelled.   There was   3 more days  of hope where I felt that, maybe, just maybe.....this marriage would survive.

My 45th birthday - a week before my Encounter.

   Then the weekend kicked in and I was reminded that his heart had not changed -- God just had moved in the therapist's heart and delayed what would still probably happen.  

I remember feeling defeated, but my godly counsel reminded me to hang in there!   Back then, in that moment,  I was to beginning  to pray and earnestly SEEK God in any extra time as I was preparing to go to Titusville  with some women and Encounter God.

  My godly counsel reminded me that my present journey or trail at that time was not just about my marriage -- it was about me.   Me and God.   My Encounter would be at the end of the month.   Meanwhile, our communication became almost 'nill' at home and I even dreaded a family celebration for my birthday.  I made sure Taylor arranged for my seat to be in between the nieces -- I did not want to feel awkward or 'make' my husband sit next to me.  I was counting the days....

 My Encounter came.  My Encounter went.   THAT was indeed a mile marker in my life.
From that day on -- everything changed.   And I have written about that before.

He did move out -- for about 4 hours and moved back in by supper that evening....THAT is another blog/story.  

And... if you have never read my blog before -- My husband and I just celebrated our 29th Anniversary earlier this month.  We are in a place with God - that HE orchestrated.  We are healthy and in love and ministering to others -- God won.  More in love with each other today -- than we ever were when we met some 35 years ago as young teenagers! 

I felt the Holy Spirit brought me to this memory or this post -- from 5 years ago for HIS purpose.

Another wife is ready to give up.
Another wife is quitting as I type.
Another wife is mad at God.
Another wife has placed her husband as an idol before God.

Or maybe another wife just needs to read a miracle story and believe -- it can happen for her too.
 

And...  another victory is around the corner!!!
I would not want to bring any harm with these memories to either of my children nor my man....  but I felt I needed to share my prayer  or what my prayers looked and sounded like when I felt there was no hope!!!


When I could not pray with words, I used my prayer language.   I probably prayed for my marriage and my man for almost two years...using my prayer language.  It was a way for me to speak to God and Satan could not tell...but I knew Jesus was interceding.

And when I could not pray - I would write prayers and USE God's Word in them... as His Word was life.

So tonight - for that one or several that are ready -- here is a prayer for your man -- and tomorrow, could be the START of his repentance and a miracle....Michelle

Lord for his head, your word states in 1 Corinthians 11 that we look to You and I pray he will look to YOU and want more of YOU Lord.
 Lord, for his mind, 1 Corinthians 2 shows us that we are to have the mind of Christ and think of how the Holy Spirit will lead and not our flesh so I pray this in YOUR name that he would deny flesh and think of YOUR mind. 
Lord, for his eyes, I pray that YOU will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. 
Lord, I pray for his ears that he will hear YOUR still small voice instructing him as YOUR word states that in both Psalms and 1 Kings. 
 Lord, for his mouth, that his words would be pleasing to YOU. 
Lord, for his neck, that he will humble himself before YOU and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your word so that he will be prosperous and successful. 
Lord, I pray for his heart that he will LOVE and TRUST YOU with his whole heart. 
Lord, I pray for his arms, that YOU will be his strength. Lord for his hands, that he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from you. 
And Lord for his feet, that YOU will order his steps and that he will walk in YOUR truth.
Lord, for him I ask all of this in YOUR name and I secure the blessing of knowing YOU have great and powerful things in store for him. 
I pray he won't miss any amount of his heritage.
Lord, I love him but YOU love him more. May I never forget this.
amen.


God is so stinking sweet.  
Amen.   

PS- Taylor is now 27 and a momma.  And we are celebrating our 31st wedding anniversary in 40 days.  God is good.  He can heal your relationship.  However, right now, all God may want you to do is to start with yourself.  Get into God's word for at least 5-15 minutes each day for the next week.  Then increase it to 20 minutes.  And what about fasting?   Pick one day a week where you will skip a meal and spend that time alone with Jesus - praying and journaling for that man of yours  ( or woman of yours )  and allow God the time to answer!  

Harriage is HARD. Bold Prayers #4

Being  ...held......


Natalie Grant wrote this song called "Held" after a friend of hers lost a baby. 

 I did a little research on the word held..or hold.... The Dictionary says,  1.  to have or keep in the hand, keep fast, grasp.  2.  to set aside, to reserve or retain -- like to hold a reservation.  3.  to bear, sustain, or support as with hands or arms or by any other means.  4.  to keep them in a specified state, 'the preacher held them spellbound'. and 5.  to detain, the police held him at the station for questions. 

Held.....then I looked up some more info...The noun held means an act of holding...as a verb, it means to remain in or continue being held.....Did you know there is also definitions for ...
hold back....
hold down....
hold forth....
hold in.....
hold off....
get ahold of .....
hold one's own.....


Then 2 verses were found:  
   2 Thessalonians 2.15    So then brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

   1 Titus 1.9
  He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

Then I found this:   the word HOLD with a capital "h" is found in 11 verses in our bible, 9 chapters, and 9 books.....that version is more of the noun hold....

I wanted to write down each verse, I will site a few of my favorite:

Judges 18.19     Nehemiah  8.11     Job   13.13
Psalms 17.5   Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not.
Psm  109. 1    Amos  6.10    Zephaniah 1.7
Mark 1.25     Luke 4.35       2Tim 1.13
Psalm 119.117   Hold thou  me up, and I will be safe; and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually.

I stopped and pondered why those two verses really STUCK in me....I remember many times in my life when I would beg God to hold up my goings in thy path....and just HOLD me....up....

And in Psm. 119....hold thou me up...JUST HOLD ME UP...how many  times I begged and pleaded that on my behalf. 

How about you...are you begging God to hold you up?

 IF you are, let us stop right now:
Lord, for my sweet sister or for whomever is reading this.....they or she or he needs you ...hold them...hold them up.  Amen. 


Then I came across this.  The word HOLD with a capital H is there 11 times and the word hold with a lower case 'h' ......is in 167 verses...167 verses....49 chapters....35 books...I was astonded.

That is the verb hold !   an action!   God is holding us! 

I did not write down each verse but a few that spoke volumes to me.

One of my life verses:  Exodus 14.14    The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.
Psalm 139.10    Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
Proverbs 3.18  She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her and happy is every one that retaineth her.
Proverbs 4.13  Take fast hold of instruction, let her not go, keep her, for she is thy life.
Isaiah 41.13  For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee.

That last verse...spoke life into me many times over the past ten   years.   I don't wish to bring up the past, but I have to share this one story...of HOW this verse spoke life back into me.

    When my  husband and I were separated, almost 7 years ago now,   our son was headed to Louisiana for a soccer tournament.  My husband was being  very kind  and tried to keep the pain he was causing 'at bay'  and therefore he  did not expect to travel with us, as he knew our time together would be  hard, very hard but after prayer, I knew,  he deserved to be able to attend and enjoy the soccer.

 It had been a planned trip and Taylor was traveling with us.  Arrangements had been  made and our time together was difficult but "bearable."  Basically the soccer was fun, the awkward times in between were awkward and hard! 

  WE spent a week together as a family and enjoyed Hunter's  team and their wins and their heartbreak loss on the last day.  The in between times were VERY hard, as sometimes I could only smile for so long and pretend for so long that all was well.  Each evening we would pick a restaurant and sit as a family  and each of us did a good job with keeping conversations 'right and light'.  Anyway, like I said, at times, it would just get too hard to bear and I would excuse myself and head to the ladies room.  At which I would get sick, either lose my lunch or supper or just spit up dry heaves and then look at myself in the mirror and hold my hand up in front of it and recite this verse.

Sometimes I would cry it out, sometimes I had to be very discrete, but I had to remind myself over and over that HE was holding my hand.  God was.   I would literally look in the mirror and hold my hand up in front of that mirror and talk to God through the mirror -- HOLD this!  HOLD me!    I knew or I said, God would get me through.....However, I had to believe and then ACT like I believed it.

HE was going to get me through this and HE would make all things new.  HE did.   The Holy Spirit would take over.  I know this...NOW,  but then, I was literally grabbing onto the promises of God every 2-3 minutes. God's Word is a living Word...grab a verse and HOLD! 

 I would be able to wipe my tears, recompose myself and head back to the supper or dinner table and smile and just be thankful for the four of us - enjoying time together.   I was SUCH a good actress.  I had to be.

 It was a difficult week.  The kids and I shared a King sized bed and my husband  slept on the floor.  Many nights were spent in prayer as I could not sleep between two kids that literally tossed and turned as they slept and I would hold my arm up in front of my eyes and focus on my hand and recite that verse...and imagine that God was RIGHT there...holding me and being my RIGHT hand......it was a verse I came to paraphrase and repeat often.

Now, bear in mind...that may leave a sad taste in your mind about my husband ..but don't let it.

 I want to tell you that for the past 5 years, I fall asleep each night in his arms...he holds me very tight and waits for me to wiggle out of his grip.  When I awake in the am, he must awake too as he will turn over and quickly grab me and hold me tight.

When he first began to do this, I would just lay there and think...."how long will this last?".  Then it continued and after a few months of expecting it to quit....I awoke one morning and I could hear the Holy Spirit remind me -- "THAT is how God has held you - TIGHT and now I am using your husband to remind you - God is still here."  

This am, that happened again. 

  God can change people.  God will and can change your husband....   or wife. But they have to want to change first....

I believe that.  That brought  even more healing to me today.  That made me smile....


Revelation 20.2
And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years.

Yep...God wins.  Period. 

Lord, for those couples, those wives and those husbands that are waiting for a change within their circumstance and their house -- give them a sign.  May they read your word and know that they know - you are listening and  they are in the palm of your right hand.  Lord, there are specific couples that I could name off at this moment -- touch them in a mighty way.  Lord, that each of them would seek you and want to be HELD by You first and then their spouse.  And may each of these couples want to HOLD their other half -- that victory would be seen within their marriage.  May they give You all the glory.   In Jesus Name, Amen.

 PS - There are several women that I love dearly as sisters in Christ that are still  struggling in their marriages and just in dealing with relationships.  They are trying their best to HOLD still and allow God to HOLD them while their men are either absent or believing a lie.  It hurts.  It is hard.  We were not created to live alone...we, as women, were created to nurture and love -- to build a home.    

And there may be a man reading this today, that is very lonely -- he is wanting his wife back....from whatever has pulled her away or from believing the lies of the enemy.  

I wanted to remind you today -- GOD will win.  Continue to seek Him, continue to pour your frustrations on Him - HE can take it.  He knows.  Continue to believe in something that seems impossible because of the promise that NOTHING is impossible for God.  

Continue to believe that God is working just as HARD on your man...  and even though it seems God won't change his free will.... sometimes I have seen God create such circumstances around the sinner that....the sinner finally opens his eyes!  

Dear Beloved, allow the Lord to HOLD you today ... focus on today -- tomorrow will come when it comes.  You are free to look at others and say nothing....or you can look at others and just be honest, "my marriage is struggling and would you pray for me?".  

God will write YOUR story.  
I share what happened in my life - not to hear myself talk, but to encourage you as when I felt I could not longer wait on God -- HE used the words of another blogger to give me hope.  

God is WHO HE says HE is.  
God will do WHAT He says HE will do...
And Do you believe in God?  
Then focus on HIM today and allow HIM to hold you.  

IN Jesus name... amen.  




- michelle

Marriage is HARD. Bold Prayers Day #3 God is listening.

  Day # 3 was really yesterday - Sunday.  A day to seek our Heavenly Father and enjoy Him and rest.  I didn't blog last night, simply because I needed to REST - but I prayed.  I prayed for two couples especially that have inspired or caused me to write these 40 days of prayers. 

 My husband and I had a sweet retreat to the west coast to stay with new friends that God appointed.  I LOVE that.  It is so good and sweet of God to bring people to your life that ADD to it...not take away from it.  Anyway, I wanted to capitalize on that flow or thought of communication. 

I blogged about  communication as this dear and godly couple impressed both my hubs and I in their ability to communicate.  They have been married 40 and have seen their own crisis moments.  Nothing  is easy or perfect, but there was a time that God drew them so close that they know and realize TIME is short.  Anyway, I loved how they just would  'tell stories' together.  It is not just one of them talking and sharing but how blended their conversations were  and how they complimented each other.   I told my new friend that and she replied, "we have our fussy  times too".  I am sure they do, but the bottom line is you can tell they communicate with the Father and with each other. 

I know many marriages suffer from a LACK of communication.  I believe prayer is the answer to that and a change of heart as well.  Therefore I blogged and prayed and shared. 

 But there are different REAL ways to change that as well.  One is listening.  LISTENING...is a BIG deal.  Many don't listen with the intent to just listen, they listen with the intent to give you their opinion.  I think in our marriage, when we focus on be a better listener - we actually love each other better. 

I wrote this blog back near Christmas time.  It was after someone lashed out at me and she would not listen.  And my flesh began to get so angry that I questioned a lot of  things that I believed the LORD had communicated to me. 

I sort of felt that I needed QUICK and radical communication from God to affirm my direction and my 'next step'. 

Yes, God listens and He answers.   I truly believe His lambs HEAR His voice. The problem with this person that lashed out at me -- well, I believe she truly does not have peace within her heart and she may have known Jesus as her Savior - but she does not understand that HE can be her healer...her confidant, and He can free her from her present addictive and hurtful habits.  I truly believe she will suffer a great loss if she is not open to some help, but my part in this at the moment is prayer.  I must pray and intercede and trust God's timing on this. 


So, as the Holy Spirit brought me back to this blog, I thought about those women IN marriages where don't feel that God is listening.  And I also thought of those women so cause up in stuff at the moment that they don't even realize that God wants to draw them out of their PIT.    So I will pray first and then share the REST of this blog. 

 Lord, I am humbled that YOU love us this much -- You know my heart Lord --USE these words for YOUR glory - I pray specifically for those wives and husbands that are fighting a spiritual and/or physical; battle at the moment and they don't think that God is hearing them.  They feel attacked, they fell isolated and alone.  Lord, may they seek YOUR Word and know that You are quite aware of their circumstance and that YOU are fighting for them.

  And Lord, for the one who is reading this and thinks, "is that me?"  Am I so far removed that I don't even realize that my  present perception of Jesus needs a good relook?  Am I lashing out at the wrong people, maybe even my husband because I am not in communication with Your Father?   I pray for those women and men ... especially if they are in a marriage that is very rocky at the moment.  Lord, YOUR will be done,  may Your Word reveal to them their present circumstance and perhaps they will repent and begin to fix what has slowly broken.  Use my words and prayers for Your Glory. IJN - Amen. 

***********

I found myself asking that very question of HIM a few days back.

Now, if you read this or know me -- you may be asking yourself, "really Chell?  Can the enemy still get to you?" 

I know the Lord has asked me to give Him time.  I believe I know HIS purpose for my life and I believe I am in a time and place where I am 'equipped' to do it - but ONLY because of HIM.  He has given me dreams and visions and a passion to help women  be set free -- to truly experience the LIFE that God intended them to have.

 I can get VERY excited and I am passionate about hearing that 'atta girl' when I finally meet Jesus. 

But, "Yes!"...... if I allow my thoughts to ponder and think about something .....without allowing God's Word to be the promise to which I run too -- the enemy can whisper so quickly to me and I doubt.

The enemy can also use another  -- this person got  mad at me and began  to 'verbally vomit' and then a word is spoken and all of a sudden,  you can find yourself questioning.  Especially if the person hits you  LOW, below the belt,  and tells you -- "You USE God like a crutch".  I think sometimes the ones that really believe they are speaking with a godly intent --  can hurt the worst.  But, I have to remember that hurting people, hurt people.

I read the book of James over and over for 2 days.   Making sure -- that WHAT God has me doing -- is HIS will and not mine.   And with that --  I prayed: 

 "Lord, if you really WANT me to continue speaking life into women and praying with them, encouraging them to believe in the impossible....then I need some reinforcements, I need to be WOW'd and reminded that YOU are pleased with me".  

I am being transparent -- perception is not reality at times.  I believe that even the strongest of people, need God as much as a new believer!  


"Go. As you have believed, let it be done for you." Matthew 8.13

God was so gracious and gave me not one but a total of 4 - FOUR - confirmations  -- and this blog is not about me going on about how sweet God is to me -- but to remind You, the reader, that HE will do the same for you.


Today, my Pastor reminded me --that many of us don't live within the freedom that God intended for us.  No where in the bible, does  it say that "its OK" is what God wants for us.

 "OK" is not HIS best.  In a study he mentioned,  90% of  the people surveyed ( that were Christians)  claimed  they were  only 'surviving'...and not 'thriving'.   So therefore only 10% are thriving.

  Again, that "OK" seemed OK for 90% of those surveyed.  

 I declared I wanted MORE than OK.   I declared myself as a part of the 10%.

I believe I am in the 10%.  I am thriving -- excited and believing that Jesus is not an imaginary friend of mine -- HE is God!   And, when I needed the re -assurance from God -- HE gave it to me - 4x over!    HE will do that for YOU as well!   Just ask. 

We want God to be able to do wonders and yet...many times our prayers are so wishy washy.  I am determined and I know, that prayers do work and the more bold and specific I am -- the more HE answers.

Matthew 9.29  "Let it be done for you according to your faith".

John 20. 27  "Stop doubting and believe."

Even the prayer in my 'needy moment'...."Lord, am I really doing what you want me to do?"...... HE answers.  ( Read the book of Titus)  


Matthew 8.13 says:  "Go, As you have believed, let it be done for you".

This is an excerpt from Audacious by Beth Moore:

•   Let's let go of Jesus as our imaginary friend.  let's exercise a fiery faith fed by the facts of Scripture and approach the genuine HIM - God;  He's not the conjured-up answer to our need for a crutch. HE is God.  
• The One who can change everything.
• The One who can do anything.
• The One who is closer to us than our lungs to our ribs, than our joints to our ligaments, than our bones, to our muscles, that our muscles to our skin, than our eyes to our lids.
• This is God in our immediate midst, ever present, ever able, ever active and no less willing that He's ever been.  
• God who is completely acquainted with the roots of all our fears and reasons for all our tears even when we ourselves have no idea why we are crying.
• God, who can impart wisdom to us beyond our years and our experiences just because we asked.  ( James 1.5) 
• God, who can infuse us with supernatural stamina to climb over insurmountable obstacles and use our very voices to move mountains from here to there.  
• God, who can gift us beyond any conceivable explanation and accomplish works through us with ramifications that will outlast time.  
• This is God who can make us feel what we don't.

I read that chapter earlier last week and again the next day.  Tonight after I reflected upon the Preacher's message today , I read it again.  I WANT that in a painting or a BIG wall poster -- as a reminder -- and I want to read and reread it every day!
 The Preacher today -- he was in Joshua.  Chapter 22 - verse 43 --

The LORD gave Israel all the land that HE swore to give to their fathers.   They took possession of it and lived in it.  The LORD gave them rest all around, according to all that He swore to their fathers .  Not a man among their enemies stood before them, and the LORD delivered all their enemies into their hands.  Not a single word of all the good things that the LORD had spoken to thei children of Israel failed.  They all came to pass. 

Amen...

So, will you be in the 90% or the 10%?

If you want to thrive....  and you have not been broken and poured out before HIM.  Do it...  seek counsel.    You may even need to be baptized.....

If you want to thrive....  then be obedient to WHAT God has asked you to do, change, or move.....maybe it is time to join a body of believers...or return to attending a church home instead of the church of your convenience....


If you want to thrive....then pray that scripture prayer over your life...over your children....over your husband... over you.....

 The LORD gave Michelle all the land that HE swore to give her ancestors.  SHE took possession of it and LIVED in it.  ...... and all the good things.... They all came to pass!   .....  see what I am saying?  

Humbled -- Michelle

Marriages are not for the faint at heart. BOLD Prayers Day #2

Marriages are hard.  I read it in a book, "marriages are NOT for the faint at heart".  Meaning........being married took guts, steadfastness, and grit!   

 Many couples never have any problems until the marriage ceremony has taken place.  Then all of a sudden, 'stuff' surfaces. 

I believe a marriage can not survive with out Christ.  And yet, I have seen some very good good people have good marriages.  However, 'good' doesn't necessarily mean 'godly'.  And maybe when the enemy knows there is NO threat....that marriage can go untouched.

So, can a marriage survive without Christ, first in each of their hearts?  I am sure it can and has.  However, knowing that each of us were created in the image of Christ -- if that hole was never filled with God -- then something else filled it.  And usually, that means that something else suffered.  Perhaps what suffered is the 'family unit'.

Have you been in public and people watched?  Couple watched?  Can you see  their communication?   I have, we still do.  And I remember a time when I was jealous of what I saw around me.  It seemed, at that time, that everyone had a perfect marriage and mine was never going to be. 




Do they communicate?  Do they speak to each other?  How do they listen to each other?  When a couple has been married for several years- it can get very easy to think or know exactly how the other half will respond and maybe that is not a good thing.    Do  they still smile when they think of the other?  Do they even care what the other is thinking? 
 
 I believe that faith that remains unchallenged -- ordinarily remains unchanged. 

I believe a marriage that remains unchallenged - ordinarily remains unchanged.   

If a husband and wife don't speak -- what happens?   I have seen where and when communication breaks down - everything else seems to break down. 

I think today --I want to touch on communication. 

My husband and I people watch all the time.  Since our own marriage went  through a CRISIS period, we both are more keen and observant when a couple is very obvious with their communication -- whether it seems they are being loving -- or being hurtful. 

Just last week, as I was pulling into a local spot where I live -- I could see the exchange with a mother and father.  I have no idea if  they were married  or not - but the car seat was being loaded out of one car and into his.  Then she stood there - communicating -- and her body language and her facial expressions told me instantly there was a problem.  I watched her walk away in tears.   I hurt for her.  I prayed for that family  and then went into the establishment. 

And I remembered.  Our son was 14 at the time, but for a period of time -- my husband and I met in the parking lot of CVS  and 'exchanged' a child.   And I praise God it was ONLY for a season but it still hurt and it was not forgotten. 

Those nights when I would await my husband's car to return,  from soccer practice  down south, were hard. VERY hard.    I would pray and cry as I drove into town to meet them, and I tried my best to make conversation with a teenager as we headed home.  It was usually 10:30 or 11pm so our son was nodding off or sleeping, but I remember those nights and the prayers I said on my drive home.   


Part of our problem or a side effect of what our marriage was AT that time, was that there was  a BIG lack of prayer as a couple.    At that time - there wasn't any!  There had been.  There had been times of family devotions and such, but the enemy got in there and slowly there was slow fade away from God and spiritual things. 

But, God won and eventually through much prayer and faith, there would be a time again where we did have family prayer and we did get through to the other side.  In fact, it was just about a month ago, where the 'original four' of us were sitting around a table eating dinner and we gathered hands and prayed as a family.  I can't remember its purpose  - but, I knew that I knew - our faith was challenged and it changed - through prayer and perseverance. 

So, tonight's prayer is for prayer...

LORD...that  the marriages around me would pray.  Together. 
 Lord, that the women fighting for their marriages would continue to fight on their knees and may their  prayers be bold and full of life.  

But honestly Lord, that the marriages around me would PRAY together.   I know HOW hard it is to accomplish this.  It seems that everything gets in the way of that time to just pray for each other.   So, Lord, those reading this tonight, maybe they stop and reflect about their prayer routine with their men.  May You speak to EACH of them and remind them to pray more... seek you more...or help them to see some creative ways to accomplish this task.  Lord, may this NOT be an area where Satan pulls them apart but where You are center and where You are glorified, In Jesus name, Amen. 


So you can stop reading the blog at this point - or read further with some tips or observations I have collected on prayer.   ( or I could call it my TOP TEN list!) 

1.  It is always hard to pray for the people you hate, it is harder to hate the people you pray for. 

2. Youth ministers are always told to watch -- boys and girls should not pray together -- it is an intimate thing.   ( So if you are in a troubled marriage - please do not pray for your marriage with a person of the opposite sex.  Find a prayer warrior that will intercede with you on behalf of your spouse and it should be a person of the same sex.  It should also be a person that has faith! Big faith! )

3. Don't compare your prayer life with other couples.  ( Each and every time I did - I was placing expectations on my husband and trying to manipulate our prayer time.  If you are unhappy with the amount of time you pray with your spouse - kick up your prayers and pray for God to place a wanting in your spouse to pray with you!) 

4.  Initiate prayer with your spouse.  I know it can be hard, but try.  Just try.  

Just an insight into my world: 

• Do I feel comfortable asking my husband to pray? I do now, but didn't for MANY years.
• Do we pray everyday together?  No
• Do we pray at least 2-3x a week together?  Yes, most weeks. 
• Does he tell me to pray?  Yes.
• Does he try and 'hurry me up' at times when I pray?  Yes
• Do I feel comfortable praying in front of my husband outloud?  Not usually, but it is getting better.  I feel most confident when we are with a couple or person and he asks me to pray! 
• When I initiate it, does he quickly pray with me?  Yes. 
• Do I feel inadequate when I pray with him?  Sometimes, because to me -- he does sound 'more practiced' -- but this is the enemy's way of messing with me and I rebuke the enemy and just say the Lord's prayer and all is well!   
• Do we go in streaks or cycles?  Yes..... we do!  
• When we talk about  our lack of praying together -  do we both agree we need it more?  Yes.
• One thing that does work for us -- is an emailed prayer -- words.   Or texted prayers.  Even a text'd prayer speaks a lot.  So... there is HOPE! 

But the BEST solution we have found is praying together--is  on road trips.  Now that we have an  empty nest, we will head to the coast for supper.  The ride over is usually talk about the day and music, but the ride home is usually prayer.  

We will do ABC prayers.  Each of us takes a letter and the creative juices flow.  For example,  
A -- Always,  Lord, thank you for always being there for us and meeting our needs.
B -- back,  Lord, we  pray for our backs...Lord, that each of us walks in your truth and when we do -- we know you WATCH our backs!  C -- Chelly....Lord, for Chell - Lord, protect her...   etc. etc.   As we pray together and the Holy Spirit leads, we get very creative and we laugh.  I think God laughs too. 

5.  Keep a prayer journal.  You can even do this with your family.  Take a notebook and have 2-3 pages for each day of the month.  For example, label page 1 - "1"  and then label page 4 - "2".  Then on the first of the month, go to the page marked 1 and list some prayer requests.  And on the 2nd of the month, go to that 4th page and list the requests for the day.  And so on.  Pray as a family.  If your kids are old enough - let them write out the requests.  Then on the first of the next month you would return to page 1 and see what you prayed for the previous month.  Note what prayers were answered and add more requests.  It will become a legacy of prayer and something that will bless your socks off.  

6.  Seek an accountability partner - one who will hold you accountable and ask you some tough questions.  1.  They ask about your quiet time with God and if you are reading your Word.  And 2.  they can pray with you on requests or even ask you if you have a prayer life or if it has stopped.  

7.  Sing your prayers -- there are MANY worship songs that can lead into prayer -- and I have prayed and prayed songs over my marriage and my man as well as my kids.  

8. There are MANY written prayers out there on the internet or in books.  Stormie Omartian is a excellent prayer source  person with a collection of books that can help you pray for a certain person for a season.  

9.  Pray -- just talk to God.  We are to pray without ceasing.  I always thought this meant that you had to find 2-3 hours at different points in the day to stop and pray.  Formally.  God can ask you to spend that amount of time, but it can also be a constant communication with Our Heavenly Father and prayer can be as little as three  words, "Oh Jesus help"  to a lengthy chatter with God.  

10.  Prayer DOES change things...it changes people, circumstances, and our own perception of the situation or others.  Prayer works. 

 
Our prayers may be awkward.  Our attempts may be feeble.  But since the power of prayer is in the ONE who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference. 


PS,
Congrats -- you read to the end!   If you read this and are in a 'hot mess' marriage and you need a person to pray -- I am willing.  Just contact me.  If you don't know me -- I am SURE That God has placed SOMEONE within your circle WHO could pray for you and with you.  

I believe in marriage.  I believe that many of us - quit before we even allow God to fix.   I know that GOD can change a marriage.  I know - cause we do NOT have the same marriage now that we had before our crisis of faith or when the earthquake hit our marriage.  We are in the 2nd half...the better half of our marriage and I want that for those I am praying for - around me.  Amen.  


I would also ask you to pray for me -- that as I  write these prayers for marriage for the next 40 days -- that the Holy Spirit would lead and the topics HE gives me - would minister and speak to many!  And I will be transparent here --  God has been weaning me from public affirmation, for months,  so that  part of me wants to tell you that I would need confirmation and affirmation --that my time spent on these prayers were worth it.  But as I said, I won't ask and I really do not need it.  

As I do believe I am to blog and post - period.  But alas, I am human.  

 But if the Holy Spirit prompts you --  please share these  blogs - with another.    It was a very brave person who boldly shared a vision, another godly person who message me  a Word from God, and a couple who reached out to me to remind me that God was in control --  during a VERY hard season.  I know that I know -- their boldness ...helped save me from a decision that would of played out very differently.  And as a result - God won. 

We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  So often we hide behind stuff and don't want to 'get involved' when in reality -- we should.   I know that one day, I will stand before Jesus and I don't want to MISS any opportunity to be His hands and feet.  That motivates me and moves me.  It also gets me into hot water at times.....but I will trust that God fights for me.  Ex. 14.14.

 God bless -- Michelle

Marriage is HARD. BOLD Prayers! Day #1

  Often my blogs are a direct line into my life AT THE  moment.  It is what it is.  I haven't been blogging as much  lately -- simple because I have been extra busy but also I haven't felt  what I wanted to say or needed to say was WHAT God wanted me to write. 

I finished a book called ADAMANT.  I am reading it again - it is very deep and there is stuff in there that I must read and study so that a GOOD change is made in my thinking. Basically, we need to be adamantly IN HIS Word so that we stand on what God's Word says rather than our opinions. 

 Marriage is hard.  Presently we are approaching our 31st wedding anniversary and I am most thankful for this milestone.  Our marriage is not perfect, as we continue to heal and grow just as two adults -- stuff gets misunderstood and feelings can get hurt very quickly.  Right now we are in a very good season and place....but I know WHAT it was like WHEN we were not. 

Thinking about that time can trigger MUCH!  WE both believe that God did a miracle in each of our hearts.  And we both believe God can do miracles in others as well -- but sometimes we must allow God's timing and also also them the revelation on their own.  So, we pray and interceed ...we sometimes question ourselves.  "Should we have even tried?"  " Should we have kept our mouths shut?"   "Should we ignore this...?"   It is very hard. 

I think it is HARD in any situation.  Especially for a person who wants to fix and help fix.  That is HOW God created me.   Anyway, walking in obedience and speaking up when one believes "she should" or.... getting involved when it certainly seems the Holy Spirit is prompting is indeed being OBEDIENT.  But... when it is not received or the outsome is not as you expected......it is VERY hard to be "obedient" the next time.  Getting burned or being told to 'stay out of it'.... when your heart is breaking is ...as I said...HARD. 

But anyway --  today as I was talking to God, He sort of gave me permission to go ahead and post some prayers that are on my heart.  I pray, I believe - God is speaking to someone! 

Marriage  is Hard.  

Marriage is one way God teaches us to be self-less -- but WHAT happens when it seems, that YOU alone seem to be fighting for the marriage ALL by yourself?

WHAT happens when, "he" or "she" does not care about Jesus or has a very GREASY GRACE attitude towards what is allowable and what is "OK" within a marriage......? 

What happens when one is ready to quit.... cause she is TIRED? 
Or perhaps...she just doesn't care anymore?  

Lord, I come to you as a humble servant and I seek YOUR guidance and provision to accomplish this 40 days of prayers  

First of all -- I do wish to pray for my husband.  As we continue to be obedient and speak love and encouragement to both men and women, I pray that the enemy won't find a crack to get into his head or mine.  I pray the ARMOR on and know that our shoes of peace are secure in YOU.  

Lord, I could list several pretty extreme circumstances in some couples right around me   - but the bottom line is - I pray they will SEEK you.  Each of them...the wife and the hubby.  

. 

   Lord, YOUR body is being attacked.  Your bride.   What YOU called a marriage to be, being one in YOU,  - is being attacked.   Yes, by the world, no doubt,  but unfortunately -- it is being attacked from within.     Right from within even the "christian households". 

 Lord, I pray for the wives that are trying to HOLD onto their marriages because YOU have not released them.   Ditto for the men who are holding on for the children within their home...

  Lord, I pray for the wives that have done everything they could possible do - physically and mentally to be and do what their husband sees as a 'good wife' and yet -- it still seems that it is not good enough.    Ditto for the men who are in this same situation. 

    Lord I pray for the wives that are at home, taking  care of  kids,  helping to meet the needs with  the bills, and still smile while their men  are not aware and are not being the help meet needed.     Lord, I know YOU are fighting for each of those women and you   still  love  those men that are completely deceived. 

  Satan is the one -- responsible...right?   Lord, I bind him away from each and everyone's marriage  that reads this -- but I also pray and ask...  how many of these marriages are in a sin pattern or crisis, not because of Satan,  but because of their own poor choices??   Lord, I pray that perhaps they would read this and know what needs to change or be done.   You know Lord...  comfort the women that are holding onto the edge of your garment.   And comfort the men that could be reading this, as they are holding onto the promises of Jesus as well.  

Lord, today I will pray about our hearts.  Lord, I pray that  my heart does not become hard.  I pray my husband's heart does not become hard -- Lord, that we both SEEK you with every ounce of our being and that we SEEK the other as our 2nd love.  So, I pray that was well for the one reading this... God, as I type this there is one that is MOST hard ...even as I think of the situation -- ONLY Your mercy can soften...God I hope that would happen!!  

Again, I ask -- 

God, you placed the stars -- You know exactly how many hairs are  on his head - on her  head...Lord, you know exactly HOW this will play out -- God I pray right now that the one reading this, will believe that the hard heart can be healed...that the hard heart can feel LOVE like never before...that the hard heart won't be tempted to find solace in another. 

Lord, for the one  SEEKING something that ONLY YOU can give... these men or women  are seeking something that will numb their pain -- instead of allowing You to cover their sin.  

God I pray that the  lonely heart would open up to YOU this eve, that he or she will pour  their loneliness to YOU and that they will allow you to fill it and then tomorrow, they will do the same and let it fill them tomorrow even more while they wait on You Lord. 

 Show them, teach them, or speak to them as to WHAT you want them to respond or do with their men...  Do they wait more?   Do they leave?   Do they ask him to leave?   How can this cycle of defeat begin to change?  

  I still believe You don't release our spouses but, I do believe that what we have to do in obedience to You -- may be very hard...may seem crazy... but also...You will provide the answers. 

Lord, for the wife - trusting you - give her favor. Create a new heart in her man...

Lord, I believe you  can heal and restore  the ones reading this as they are thinking... IS SHE SPEAKING about me?   Lord, take these prayers and USE them to reach those wives that need hope and perhaps those men that need a eye opened!!    Lord, may she wait...just one more day...to seek professional help....or to just wait on filing for that divorce paper-- OH God - for the couples  around me, the ones within the body of believers that I worship with...and for the couples that read this and it becomes real to them.... 

 

Or Lord, if she must change the locks to have peace and safety within her home, provide the comfort to know she is in Your will.....  

   But again, God I pray the person, the wife or the  husband  reading this will dream this eve and meet you -- and believe when they awake that YOU can turn this around - In Jesus name, amen ! 

1 Peter 4.8
Above all, love each other deeply, because Love covers over a multitude of sins.

Psalm 119: 111-112
Your laws are my treasure: they are my heart's delight.  I am determined to keep your degrees to the very end.

Today can be the beginning of a new direction..a new life for your marriage -- God CAN heal and restore what the locusts have taken -- even after MANY years!

Adamant - New Blog Post

    It has been some time again. Time --with no blogging.  Writing has continued - but maybe not worth sharing. 

 I have been enjoying my extra time with Ava and SJ! What a BIG blessing it is to have  grand girl time! 

Oh, I have NO problem sharing about them or what new thing they did this past weekend.  (BTW...SJ squealed at herself in the mirror today.  I am thinking she is getting the understanding that she is a  'human'. ) I am having a bit of a problem with blogging.   

I believe I am in a  SORT OF  new season and therefore,  I am just trying to make sure I am adamant about listening and hearing from God   - and then whether to write it out for public consumption or not. 

One day I will feel like I am RIGHT where I am suppose to be and the next.... I feel like maybe I am in a temporary wilderness. 

Then I seek God and thank Him for the wilderness and say to myself...."what are you talking about?" 

I admit.  I have been waiting for a BIG confirmation or something from  someone or perhaps an email that stated.."Michelle, where is the FRESH material?".       That hadn't or hasn't happened ...yet.


 Forgive me, my grammar and knowledge of present perfect verb tenses is pretty messed up today.  I watched 5th graders take an assessment   and will watch them take an assessment tomorrow and quite frankly I am pretty tired of trying to explain the difference between has,  had, will have, did have, didn't and so forth -- I just want it to BE  gone!!   ( Testing that is!) 

I have had some 'other confirmations and ideas' and yet, I am hesitant -- still -- probably will pray a bit more or 'hide' from them a bit more until I am like Gideon and ask for that 2nd and 3rd confirmation.  But then again ... that is not being obedient.   So again I say to myself, "what are you talking about?" 


Anyway. 

Romans 8:29 NIV
²⁹ For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

I read something today and felt the urge to share:      I guess that is maybe why I can't sleep this eve.  It is already way past my bedtime and tomorrow is school and yet--- 

 I read this, earlier today:  Our destiny is to look like Jesus on the inside and to behave like Jesus on the outside.  Many of us are spiritual powerhouses, can pray the house down, sing the roof off, hang off the chandeliers when we praise the Lord, and can administrate duties with a spirit of excellence.  

We appear like strong mighty lions, but who are we inwardly?  Do we love just as loud?   Forgive just as strong?  Are we as obedient to God as our prayers are powerful?    These are things of the heart that matter the most to God.  

This stopped me.  

Am I behaving like Jesus on the outside? 
  I am pretty sure there are a few that feel or think I am a spiritual powerhouse and yet -- why have a few prayers and situations gotten me a bit 'frozen'?   I can't sing the roof off -- well, I can sing and the roof may peel off --as I am off key -- so I will just praise! But inwardly -- lately.... I have not felt as a mighty LIONESS.  

I think it is because I haven't been able to LOVE  just as loud on the outside.  I am trying.  I am.  I believe the Lord is taking me to a DEEPER level of what I think 'love' for my fellow sister in Christ really is.  Does that make sense?   Maybe a deeper understanding of loving the lost or the messy ones.  Honestly, one moment I am thinking and feeling this way and then the next I tell myself, "get

OVER yourself - snap out of it - what are you talking about?"   

It happened just this last Sunday at church.  I could FEEL the love for one and not for the other.  ( I am speaking about some people - some sisters in Christ -- Not necessarily in my church/building at that moment  - but women.)   I was so convicted.  I went to the alter.  

More of what I read today and want to share:     The nuts and bolts of a woman of character is how she responds when it is time to let go, how she behaves when she doesn't get her way, how she acts when her gift  and calling is ignored, and what she does when she experiences failure.  

Ouch.  Maybe that is why I was so convicted.  One  was 'easier' to control -- maybe that is why the one was 'easier' to love rather than the other?  I have been letting go lately and that was not hard and yet...what next?  And the idea  or the line from what I read where it says "how she behaves when she does not get her way"       ....oh - BIG ouch.   I guess I am preaching to the choir or blogging to myself!


So -- I go back to the first scripture and remind myself -- I am created in HIS image and God knew me -- knows me -- and as I continue to keep Him first ....this new season will come into a realization or it will have purpose and I will start to feel like it makes sense.  

Or that is what I am praying. 

It is strange. 

 It is a season of 'rest' and new things. 

I guess the bottom line is that I DO NOT know exactly what to say or what to blog or what to do 'next'....

There -- I admitted it.  

WOW.  I have been sitting at this computer and in prayer about this blog for literally the past 4-5 hours and bingo -- relief.    And that is OK! 



On Saturday, a my 'new/old'  friend reminded me of this scripture --

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me - Psm. 51.10 

So, yes Lord -- I want to be beautifully adored inwardly and outwardly as well.  Deck me out to resemble and be like Your Son -- have Your way with me.  I am a bit timid right now.  I may not be a fish out of water, but this new season is different and I am walking slowly.  Break me down again -- and build me up into that woman of character that does love as much outwardly as inwardly.  There has been laziness and procrastination and NO more... resentment had crept in a bit and NO more... I haven not made a person an idol in quite some time but I don't want this 'season' to become an idol either!  Lord, I tell ALL fear to go away and timidity goodbye.  I want to be the woman I know in my heart that I was created to be.  Lead me - guide me.  I have been chosen  for a great work and in this season that may just be ..being MIMI...then THAT is OK too!   And Lord, give me guidance with this blog.  You know my heart and why it is important and yet....I think You are lessoning that 'importance' even as I pray.  I trust You Lord -- completely.  Again, if ONLY one reads it - me, it is for Your glory.  IJN - Amen.