Here is some scripture :
2 Timothy 3: 16-17 says All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
1 Corinthians 12.1 says 'now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I do not want you to be ignorant'
1 Corinthians 1. 6-7 says 'you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed'
Luke 3.16 says 'John answered the, all, " I baptize you with water, but one who is more powerful than I will come, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to unite. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.'
John 1. 32- 34 says 'Then John gave his testimony: " I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him. And I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, 'the man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.' I have seen and I testify that this is God's Chosen One."
I am speaking about the POWER -- the power that sustained me.
I believe that POWER was the difference.
I thank God for the ministering and mentoring possibilities HE brings to me. I know I am an encourager and I SOUGHT out much encouragement when I was in the middle of a crisis of belief and heartache within my immediate family. When I stop and speak, or write, I reflect and the enemy loves to remind me HOW long we were in that pain or how I was ...or we were in turmoil but so OUT Of fellowship with our Lord. ( the enemy does that - he is a LIAR )
So I battle, and take those thoughts captive and believe HIS word and HIS promises.
But I will stop and ask myself -- "how did I do it Lord?"
And I quickly remind myself or whomever I spoke to -- " I didn't -- HE did it through me...I did it through HIM "
And one of the main reasons I did overcome was because I had some EXTRA power.
I had a power tool within my reach -- that power was a blessing and it DID sustain me.
This is a literal illustration but if I had to cut a forest of trees down, and I had a saw, I could do the job. But if I had a POWER tool - an ELECTRIC saw - just think of HOW much faster I would get the job done.
Sometimes we are SO full of hurt or SO full of discouragement that we just don't want to open our bibles nor even pray or think -- THAT is when I could stop, pray in my prayer language, and know that know -- I WAS speaking DIRECTLY to the Father and the enemy had NO clue. Amen.
I am referring to my prayer language -- I am referring to speaking in tongues.
I believe this is something that is lacking ....the Power of the Holy Spirit is needed.
God is raising a generation of women -- we are like the lioness' arising. We are SO powerful and our swords are our words ...HIS words...OUR sword is the word of God.
We need to know it - live it, breathe it in and speak it out.
God's word shows me that HIS gift of the baptism of the Holy Spirit ...is HIS gift to me.
We ALL receive the Holy Spirit upon conversion or salvation -- that is not what I am speaking of.
Being baptized in the Holy Spirit is separate and distinct -- different from receiving the Holy Spirit at salvation.
Personally, I was raised Catholic and my priest told me that speaking in tongues was a way to help explain what transpired after the death of Christ. He told me it does not happen today and that if it did - it would be for the priests.
I had asked, I inquired. I was 17.
I went to church with my boyfriend - Brendan. I heard some people pray out loud and it sounded weird. It scared me. Therefore I had already set my heart against it.
I will remember one Sunday School lesson where it was discussed and praise God the teacher stated, "you don't have to be baptized in the Holy Spirit to go to heaven". Relief -- I was 20.
In the mean time, I heard some people pray it more privately. I asked questions of Brendan and his Grandparents and had it 'figured out'.
From age 21-35 various people at church would preach about it. I ignored it - it still felt 'freaky'. I got too busy -- it was not needed in my opinion.
Brendan and I never discussed it.
By the age of 37 - I became MORE aware of many things. We were pretty involved in a wonderful church where the baptism of the holy spirit was not welcome. In fact, it became a topic that had to be defended. Brendan began to talk about it - conversations started. He wanted it so I wanted it, but in my own head - I was still afraid of it. My uncle was diagnosed with cancer and all of a sudden prayer became a focal point.
Skip to age 39 - this was a time in my life when God was beginning to change me.
The enemy so deceived my husband, in hindsight I see a man that tried within his 'humanness' to seek God but the enemy won out each time, thus, deception and lies are believed.
In many lonely walks and countless talks with God, I was 'given' a phrase a sentence. It did not make sense. I never spoke of it to my husband -- the enemy has such a wall between us then. I did not tell anyone but repeating it over and over brought comfort. I paid closer attention now to preachers on TV and I read lots of books or articles on the subject. And I asked God, "did I have my prayer language?". But I had no idea if I did -- looking back, yes I did, God had baptized me in that prayer language but I was too weak ...too scared.... and to much of a baby in Christ to understand it and I did not have anyone around me to disciple me. Oh God had put people there - but I couldn't see them. I was blind.
Even though at that time -- I was attending church... But let me say it again -- I had many around me that could of helped me understand but the enemy had me so closed off and ALONE and isolated - even though I was a youth leader, I lead a bible study or two and I prayed often.
That was my idol of pride .....at that time I had things so figured out - I was so blind!
I also had a spirit of religion where I felt I knew what I was suppose to do and I did it.
Sometime in there, I witnessed my daughter research it, seek it and get her prayer language and she was so excited ...so full of HIM she came home to share and within her speaking about it, our son read the material and was baptized in it instantly. I had both kids speaking in their prayer language and I had to admit -- IT WAS real ....and I went to the bedroom where my depressed husband was and I shared with him and he could not even look at me.
Now I understand why - he was so hard to anything of God and that was such conviction. I had no idea of the sin my husband was in ....I just thought he was in a major depression and mid-life crisis. But how sweet of God, giving that gift to my children as God knew that within a few short years ...my children would NEED that as the hurricane had not HIT us yet. I was 42.
It is hard to capture 10 years worth of feelings in a blog that I try to keep brief -- but, I needed to say all that so that you can understand the fear I had and the resistance I had to being baptized in the Holy Spirit.
...Until I was 44. I believe THAT is when I truly OPENED the eyes HE gave me. I had too - I was desperate. I sought out a friend, a Pastor, as I sought prayer with he and his wife--God opened my eyes and I realized I had unforgiveness towards so many -- but who could blame me, I had been betrayed!
He asked me if I had a prayer language and I explained, and then he asked if he could pray for me in that prayer language and I said OF course! As he prayed, like I said, God opened my spiritual eyes and in my head, and showed me that I had this mistrust and unforgiveness and that I needed to forgive him-- my friend who is NOW my Pastor ---- and so ---I forgave him and as those words came out of my mouth....my prayer language spit out in front of me. I say spit out in front of me but it burst out - and it was real and I knew it and I freaked out cause I knew I did not put those words into my mouth.
Pastor immediately told me to continue to speak it out. AS I know now, that is so important when one receives their prayer language because the enemy hates it and quickly whispers - THAT is not real. But I knew it was real and I just had to jump up and praise God. From that point on -- I knew I could rely on praying in my prayer language -- cause after that, there were many many many countless and sleepless nights where I just had NO more words but I wanted to speak to God and pray for the people in my life ....my family...I wanted restoration and I wanted redemption and I wanted my family - to be quite honest - I wanted my husband saved. Period.
THAT is the POWER that sustained me.
THAT is the power I rely on now to continue to fight the enemy.
THAT is the difference -- I believe in some of us getting our healing faster than others......
THAT is what I believe makes the difference.
Peter denied Jesus 3x while they were persecuting our Lord, and yet, after repenting and receiving the Baptism of the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost, he had power and boldness to preach to the multitudes and over 3000 were born again.
Skip back to me at age 44. After that night of prayer in my Pastor and his wife's living room - God began to open my eyes like never before and thus began a process that took time, patience, and lots of love and therapy so that by age 45....I REALLY could forgive the one person I felt was the blame and I realized that I had to FORGIVE God too...but that is another blog.
I have always wanted to minister to people. I feel. I want to be used by God. I wanted to be the next Beth Moore once I heard her and realized WHAT she accomplishes through Christ. But, God did not make me Beth Moore...he made me Michelle.
And yes, I have been through a few trials and most recently my family, has walked through the fire and we came out on the other side -- better, stronger, and finally FREE of so much bondage and strongholds. Free of condemnation and shame, free of the lies that the enemy had convinced us all. God allowed the hurt and betrayal of infidelity to pierce our family and so now -- many people believe I am some really GREAT prayer warrior or person that 'gets things done'. One person even said I was remarkable ....I am not remarkable - I am HIS and if my words, or my actions help another to understand and realize that we all will face JESUS one day and give an account -- than praise God, I want to be used, I want the LOST saved. One women even told me she needed me to pray for her grandson cause God hears me.....
God will hear her JUST a mightily but the enemy has her convinced her words are not good enough. The enemy is a LIAR.
I am nothing without God. I am nothing without Christ - HE is the one that healed. HE is the one that restored -- I only grabbed onto the fringe of HIS garment and HUNG on for dear life.
I did hang on tight.
I did not give up.
I wanted to. I asked God many many many nights to please release me -- to please let me just be DONE...but HE never did that.
HE gave us His son -- so we can endure.
I am not perfect -- just to be real, I also prayed at that same time that God would hold me still as I wanted to slash some tires and do MAJOR damage to body parts -- I did -- I guess I am adding that cause I want to be real and transparent - walking through a fire is HARD..but the joy and rewards of seeing the beauty out of the ashes is such a GOD blessing! I am humbled.
I sought HIS word and the sword and when I just COULD not pray anymore...I spoke my prayers directly to GOD by using my prayer language. It was the power I needed.
It was no longer freaky.
It was real.
I am 47 today ....
This boldness is only from HIM. My life verse it to let HIS light shine in me - like Beth Moore says, "there is NO high like a Jesus high"...to see another be SET free...to believe in miracles and to be a part of a church body/family that believes GOD Can do anything is encouragement and life to me...life to my daughter..and life to my husband.
BTW -- if you speak to him and get talking about God -- he will tell you of THAT power too - and there is nothing more rewarding than praying with your husband and hearing him claim life over you...bless you..and pray for you. Hearing him ask me to pray for him, to keep another in my prayers, Etc. ETc. THAT is what God intended. THAT is why He allowed our crisis of faith.
...So, I could write today and even if ONLY one person reads this and gets the urge to inquire about the Holy Spirit and want to have that -- prayer language...I am blessed and humbled.
You can have that power too - HE promised it.
The baptism is a gift received by faith.
We receive it by asking.
Have you already spoke it out -- that you would never get it??
Have you experienced it before so you are already freaked out?
You can change that.
Start reading the book of Acts and Corinthians chapters 12-14 and Jesus will be more real to you and if you have READ to the bottom of this post -- I believe YOU want that power too.
If you read this and endured to the end -- I believe God is giving you a reminder -- HE wins!